03x13 - Sarah, Steps Out

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ Lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just to
take good care of me ♪

♪ Like he's
one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing,
I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing,
I want, I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of me ♪♪

Careful, Charles.
This ladder's pretty shaky.

That's okay.

Listen, I want to
thank you guys

for helping me today.
I really appreciate it.

Oh, we love helping you,
Charles.

Oh, yeah!
We love helping you!

All right, look.
You can forget the snow job.

I already told you that
I can't give you permission

to do what you want to do.

But I will ask your mom
for you, okay?

- Oh, thanks, Charles.
- All right!

It won't do any good.

Oh, you may get mom
to let Adam and Jamie

do what they want, but when
you ask her for what I want,

she's going to say, "No!"

Sarah, you need to be
more positive.

Okay, I'm positive
she'll say, "No!"

Well, all I can do is ask.

Mine is not to reason why,
mine is but to do or--oh!

Watch that ladder!

Is this a tribute to Iwo
Jima?

Or are you trying to figure
out how many Powell's

it takes to screw in
one light bulb?

[phone rings]
I'll, I'll get that, Mr. Powell.

Hello, Powell residence.

No, no. This isn't Charles,
this is his answering service.

Uh huh. Uh huh.

Uh huh. Aw. I'll tell him.

That was Steve.

Wait, Mr. Powell!
I'm waiting for Steve's call!

He's getting married Friday
and he's selling me his,

his playoff tickets for
Saturday night.

Well, not anymore...
he cancelled his wedding

and he's keeping the tickets.

What?

If Steve's fiancé doesn't sue
him for breach of promise,

I will!

- Hi.
- Hi, everybody!

[children]
Mom!

Charles, didn't you want
to ask mom something?

Yes, Jamie, I did.

We've really been
working hard

cleaning the house today.

And now we're all gonna go
in the kitchen

for a nutritious snack,

so you can have a nice talk
with Charles.

Oh boy.

You know, they're, they're
wonderful kids, aren't they?

Yeah.

They really helped me
a lot today.

What are they after?

[laughing]

Oh, each one of them
has a favor

they want me to ask you.

Now, uh, Adam wants to
know if he can stay up

all night Saturday
and, uh, watch television.

Now you and I both know
he'll conk out

on the couch
by about 10:30.

But, it'll make him feel
grown up if you let him try.

Oh, all right.
That sounds fine to me

as long as he understands
that this is a special treat.

All right, now...
Jamie wants to know
if she can streak her hair.

What?

Nothing major, Mrs. Powell.

You won't even notice it
when she gets through.

Well...okay.

All right. And what little
favor does Sarah want?

Sarah?

Oh, well what did
Sarah want?

Hmm...

Ah, oh! I know.
She just wanted to know

if she could go to the movies
Saturday night alone...

[mumbling]
...with a boy.

A boy?

You heard that?

Yes!

You mean
an unsupervised date?

Mrs. Powell, I know
what you're gonna say.

You want to know what
movie she's going to see
and who she's going with,

- Yes, but I--
- you want to know
what time the movie lets out,

- Yes--
- and you want her home

no later than 10:30.

- Right?
- Right!

And under those
strict conditions,

maybe you'll let her go?

Well...

I trust your judgement,
Charles,

so I will let Sarah
go on this one date.

[squealing]

Thanks, Mom!

Oh, you're welcome, Sarah,

but there is
one more condition.

You have to come upstairs

and tell me
all about this boy.

- Thanks, Charles!
- Okay, Adam!

Good work, Charles, and
don't worry about Sarah.

I mean, what is the worst
thing that could happen

in a movie theater?

Of course, if he gets her
in the back of a van,

that's different.

Thank you for sharing
that with me, Jamie.

I won't worry about Sarah.

You, on the other hand,

are never leaving
this house again.

You had none left.

All right, thanks a lot.

Charles! Charles! I brought
you my ticket money!

I can't believe that we're
going to the playoffs!

Steve's wedding is off.
He's keeping the tickets.

I can't believe we're not
going to the playoffs.

You mean, we're the victims
of a broken marriage?

We have one last shot,
Buddy. You gotta
call Les Marlin.

I'm not callin' Les Marlin,
Les Marlin hates me.

He thinks I'm lower
than snail slime.

So do half the girls
on campus,

it doesn't stop you
from calling them.

Buddy, Les is the only guy

that can get us tickets,
okay?

I want you to call him.

He does not hate you.

Hey, Les!
Yeah, it's Buddy Lembeck!

I was wondering if you had
any playoff tickets

for Saturday night.

...You do?

That's fantastic!

Charles, he has tickets!

Great! How much?

I don't know!
He hung up on me!

Nobody hangs up
on my friend. Watch out.

Yeah, hi, Les.
This is Charles...yea--

Listen, uh, Buddy just called

and asked you
for some playoff tickets.

Yeah, well,
he was calling for me.

[laughing]

Hey, don't be ridiculous,
Les!

Buddy's not my friend!

He's lower than snail slime.

You do? Great. How much?

Okay, fine. 20 minutes.
We'll be there. Goodbye.

Let's go.
We got two playoff tickets.

Les' kid brother, Gary's
meeting us down at Sid's

in twenty minutes. Lets go.

I'm not going anywhere
with you!

You think I'm lower
than snail slime!

Buddy, I just want
the playoff tickets.

I don't think you're
lower than snail slime.

You don't?

Of course not!

Nothing is lower
than snail slime!

♪♪

[bubbles blowing]

You Lembeck?

No. Me Charles.
Him Lembeck.

You must be Les Marlin's
brother.

Very clever.
You must be a college man.

Do you have the tickets?

No, I came all the way
down here

just to admire your haircut!

Well, make yourself
at home.

I always do.

Hey, nice shirt!
The circus back in town?

[laughing]
That's cute.

Okay, let's get
down to business.

Two playoff tickets...
Saturday night...

primo seats.
Ah, ah, ah, ah...


- What?
- What? Hey, no.

Come on. Your brother
said 30 bucks a piece.

Yeah! 30 for him, 10 for me.
I have expenses.

You know, clothes...girls...

Charm school.

Take it easy, Charles.
I can handle this kid.

No, don't handle him. You
don't know where he's been.

Just pay the little...

business man.

Hello, mama! Ouch!

You're welcome.

Well, it's been real,
but I've got other business.

Later, men.

Never, kid.

Playoffs, baby! Let's go!

All right.

You know, but it felt like I
met that little weasel before.

Aha! That's called "deja vu."

No, he reminds me
of somebody

and I know that
I don't like 'em.

Aha! that's called...
"guess who deja vu!"

Help him.

Hey, what do you say,
Adam, old pal?

Ready for your all-night
TV marathon?

I think so.
Let's see, I got...

peanuts...popcorn...
potato chips...

I forgot to get junk food!

Charles! When are you
leaving for the game?

Oh, uh, not for a while,
Sarah, why?

When my date gets here,
will you tell him
I'm almost ready?

- Sure!
- Thanks

Hi, Lisa.

Hi Charles.

Hello, Jamie...

Well, what do you think
of Jamie's hair?

What'd she do, fall into
a toxic waste dump?

Charles, you're the one
that talked mom

into letting me
get my hair streaked.

Yeah, I thought you were
talking about

human colors, Jamie!
Your mom is gonna k*ll me!

Charles...

Oh, hi, Lisa.

Charles, I'm leaving

for the chamber of
commerce banquet,

so when Sarah's date
gets here,

make him feel at home,
okay?

- Will do.
- Thank you.

Thank you!

Have fun.

Goodbye.

Jamie, uh,
who did this to you?

I did.

I learned it from my sister.

She's going to be
a beautician.

Really? On this planet?

This is the latest thing.

Yeah, well, well,
if this is the latest thing,

take her back and get her
something earlier, okay?

Jamie, if your mom sees
your head like this,

she's not gonna trust
either one of us again.

Now, please.
Come on. Go fix it.

Hey, Charles?

Oh, hi, Charles. Hi, Lisa.

Jamie...Jamie, nice hair!

Charles, watch, then guess
what this is...

Haaah!

A jerk-in-the-box?

No, it's my one-man wave!

There's gonna be
TV coverage

at the game tonight.

Oh, why didn't you just
rent a chicken suit.

I wish I'd have
thought of that.

[doorbell rings]
- Let's go.

Get that for me, will you?

Oh, Charles!
The m*dget mafia's here!

Look, kid, listen.

If you think you're gonna
squeeze more money

out of us for those tickets...

How do you know
where I live?

- Hi!
- Hi!

You know him?

Of course I know him.
He's my date.

♪♪

He's your date?

Kind of a kick
in the head, isn't it?

Gary, this is Charles
and Buddy.

They're friends of mine.

Yeah, we had the pleasure
of meeting Gary

down at Sid's.

Yeah, we're old pals.

Nice seeing you again,
Chas.

You too, Bubbles.

My name is Buddins.

Cute.

Well, let's split, Sarah.
We got a flick to catch.

Right!

We're going to see
the new Woody Allen film

at the Cineplex!

We'll be home by 10:30.

Bye!

Ciao, Chas!

Ciao, Chas!

Buddy, what is the matter
with me? I can't believe it!

I just let Sarah leave
the house with that little...

troll!

Now the question is, is why
would a little troll like that

want to go out with Sarah?

Why do you think?
Because Sarah's naive

and inexperienced.

He figures she's easy prey.

Oh, that's despicable.

That's disgusting.

That's how I
choose my dates.

Well, I'm keeping an eye
on Sarah tonight.

Charles, how can you?

You're gonna be
at the playoffs!

Buddy, I can go to the
playoffs any old year!

Tonight, I'm going to the
movies.

Well, I'm not going to the
game by myself.

Had to stop at the snack
counter, didn't you?

[loud slurping]

[audience]
Shh!

- Do you see 'em anywhere?
- No.

I cant believe I let Sarah
go to the movies

with that little creep.

Wait a minute.

Hey, pal.
Take your hands off that girl.

[nervous laugh]

Sorry. Put your hands
back on that girl.

Gotta be here someplace.

Shh! This is
my favorite cartoon!

- Excuse me.
- Excuse him.

Excuse me. Pardon me.
Excuse me. Pardon me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Pardon me. Pardon me.

Excuse me.

Buddy, look!

They're not doing anything.
They're just sitting there.

Sure, they look
innocent enough now.

There's a lot of tricks you
can pull on a girl...

- ...in a movie theater.
- Yeah.

Like remember the old

'fake-the-yawn-stretch-
and-put-your-arm-around-
the-girl' maneuver?

He's stretching, let's go!

[audience]
Shh!

Get down!

Charles, I crushed my malt
ba*ls!

Well it serves you right.

Let's go.

- Shh!
- Get down!

Ahh! Take your hands off
me, you pervert!

Hey, what's going on,
sweetheart?

This creep
put his hands on me!

Oh, yeah?

Uh, no sir. Not this creep.

That creep.

You touch my wife?

[nervous laughter]

Yes, sir.

I didn't mean to, really.

I'm not interested
in your wife.

[stutters] I'm here looking
for a junior high school girl.

See? He's a pervert.

[audience]
Shh!

I can prove it.
She's a friend of mine.

- Mhmm.
- Sarah.

Buddy, where'd they go?

Who?

[knuckles cracking]

[nervous laughter]

So!

Who do you like in the
playoffs?

I can't believe that guy took
a swing at me.

I can't believe you ducked.

I can't believe we lost
Sarah.

And that...freckle faced
fiend.

Buddy, they weren't
at Sid's and they weren't
at Burger Barn.

Now where were they?

Charles, what are you
worried about?

They're just kids.
What could they do wrong?

Sarah's a kid.
Gary's 14 going on 47.

I'm telling you. That kid
reminds me of somebody

and I can't think of who it is.

Hi, Adam.

I'll tell you one thing
though,

that kid Gary lays
one hand on--

Adam. What are you
doing in the closet?

Oh, just hanging around.

I thought you were going to
spend the night

watching TV.

I was.

The thing is,

there was a Friday the 13th
marathon on.

Jason Lives.

Jason Returns.

Jason gets Hacked to
Pieces.

Adam, you didn't tell me
that's why

you wanted to stay up
all night.

You know how you get when
you watch horror movies?

Now you're gonna be
seeing monsters

everywhere you look.

- Hi.
- [all screaming]

It's okay, Adam.

It's okay.

All right. Come on. Go
upstairs and get into bed.

I'll be up in a minute,
all right?

It's fine.

I'll be under the covers.

All right, Jamie.
That, that's very funny.

You can take it off now.

I can't.

See, I tried to get Lisa
to fix my hair,

but she only knows
how to put streaks in,

not take them out.

This is just great.

Adam's been watching
maniacs,

Sarah's out with a maniac
and you look like a maniac.

You know, Jamie,
I kinda like it.

It-it's that genetic misfit
look.

Keep...

keep this on your head
and don't take it off, okay?

And tomorrow, I want you
to go to a real hairdresser.

You got that word? Real.

And get your hair fixed,
all right?

Okay. Thanks, Charles.

What time is it?

It's 10:30.
Sarah's not home yet

and she's out with
an animal. That's it.

Charles, who are you
gonna call?

I'm calling the police.

Yeah, hi. Is this the police?

Yeah, listen. Uh, I'd like to
report that--

I think you're all doing
a wonderful job.

Keep up the good work.

Where have you been?

At the Cineplex.

Watching Woody Allen?

No. We had to
switch theaters

'cause a couple of dorks
were disrupting the movie.

Oh yeah?

Well how come we
didn't see 'em.

Sit down, Gary.
I'll get us some sodas.

Sarah...

You okay?

No.

What did Gary do to you?

Nothing! It's what you did!

How could you spy on me?

I? Spy?

Charles, I saw you!

Everyone in the theater
saw you!

I thought you trusted me.

I, I do trust you, Sarah.

It's Rudolph the Red-Haired
Reptile I don't trust.

You don't know about
guys like Gary!

But you don't know Gary!

Oh, I know he tries to act
cool and macho

when other boys are around,

but he's not like that when
we're alone together.

He's really very shy.

You mean he didn't, um...

He didn't try anything?

[laughs]
Gary?

No!

He was too scared to even
hold my hand.

You know, I...

I just remembered who
Gary Marlin reminds me of.

I'm not really interested
in your opinion.

I happen to like my clothes.

So find a couple of guys
named Moe and Larry

and go into show business!

Listen, Buddy, why don't
you, uh, go home,

put some steak on that eye.
I want to talk to Gary.

Yeah, okay, Charles.
I'll catch you later.

So long, Bubbles.

Gary, my lad...

I'm not gonna lower myself
to your childish level.

I just wanna say...

blahlalala!

Why do you hang out
with that guy?

I mean, do you get
a charitable deduction

or something?

He's my friend.

You don't have many
friends, do you, Gary?

What are you, my shrink?
I have friends.

You know, you remind me
a lot of some guy

I used to know.

This guy who thought that
he had to impress

everybody with
how hip he was and uh...

you know, he was always
pretending to be

somebody he wasn't.

Well maybe he thought
people wouldn't like him

if they knew what he was
really like.

Well, that's right, but you
see, it didn't work because

he didn't fool anybody but
himself.

Oh, and I suppose that guy
was you, right?

Right.

That was me at your age.

See and then I decided
I wanted

some real friends,
you know?

Friends that would accept
me for what I am.

I got tired of being a phony.

Well, if you think
I'm like that...

No, I was talking
about me, Gary.

Look, if Sarah thinks you're
nice enough to go out with,

then you've gotta be a pretty
good guy.

And you don't have to be
anybody but yourself, right?

Would you like cola or root
beer?

Oh! No thanks.

I gotta get going. I have a
few places to hit yet tonight.

People to see,
things to do, you know.

The truth is, if I'm not home
in ten minutes,

my mom will go through the
roof.

I...

I had a real nice time.

So did I.

[yawns]

Time for me to hit the sack.

No!

I mean, you don't have to
go. I'll...

I'll see you at school,
Sarah.

Okay. Goodnight.

Well see you later, Chas!

Charles.

Listen, Sarah,
I want to apologize

for interring with your date.

It'll never happen again,
okay?

And you were right about,
Gary. He's a nice guy.

I know.

He kinda reminds me of you!

[laughs]

- Hi Ms. Powell.
- Hi, sorry I'm late.

The speeches just went
on and on.

So.

How was your date?

Oh, it was great.

We had a very
interesting time.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, sweetheart.

So, where's Adam?

Oh, he's upstairs.

His, uh, his marathon turned
into a sleep-a-thon.

Well, Charles,
it looks like I was right

to trust your judgement.

Apparently everything the
kids wanted to do

worked out just fine.

Charles this hat won't stay--

[gasps]

[screams]

♪♪

Those movies really
scared me.

Adam...

You're in your own home.

Why are you afraid?

I don't know.

In this one movie, this guy
goes to open his closet

and a k*ller maniac
jumps out and zaps him

right between the eyes
with a power drill!

All right. Listen to me.

That is just a movie.

It's not real life.

Somebody just
made that up!

There are no k*ller maniacs
in the closet, okay?

Okay, if you say so.

All right.

- Goodnight, Charles.
- Goodnight.

♪♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days ♪

♪ And our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs ♪

♪ And our rights ♪

♪ And I sing,
I want I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge of me ♪

♪♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪