04x12 - Still at Large

[bunniefuu]

[♪ ♪ ]

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ Lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just
to take good care of me ♪

♪ Like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I see, I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I see, I want ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge of me ♪ ♪

Charles, come quickly!

What, what is it?
What's wrong?

- It's Jamie, she's reading!
- A book?

An encyclopedia!

Okay, you guys.
You've had your fun.

Now, bug off and let me
finish my extra credit report.

Extra credit?
You?

[panting] Charles, I'm scared!
What's going on?

I don't know, Adam.

You know [stutters] Maybe it's
like when you lose one sense

another sense
becomes more acute.

Yeah, that's it, Charles!

Jamie sprained her ankle
and all of a sudden,

her head works!
[doorbell rings]

Charles, I don't like this.
I don't like this one bit!

This could upset the whole

balance of power
in this family.

[chuckles]

Hi!
- Hi, I'm Nancy Bowman,
Jamie's teacher!

Oh, hi!
I-I'm Charles, come on in.

Hi, well, I'm bringing by
Jamie's homework so she won't

get behind while she's
out of school.

Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.

I got the take-home exam

all done and I just finished
an extra credit report.

Great!
I can't wait to read it.

Jamie, you're doing
wonderful work.

Thank you.
[doorbell rings]

Okay, here's your
assignment for tomorrow.

And if you have any questions,
you can reach me at home.

Okay, thanks.

Charles, it's me, Buddy!

Oh!
Then, I was right!

Buddy, come on in, I want you
to meet Jamie's teacher,

Miss Bowman, also known
as The Miracle Worker!

Ah, Miss Bowman, I'd like you
to meet my best friend,

Buddy Lembeck.
- Hi, it's nice to meet you!

Hi, it's nice to meet you.
Well, I'd better be going.

Well, was it something I said?

Uh, no, you didn't
say anything.

Yes, I did! I said,
hi, it's nice to meet you!

Oh, well, that's okay.

I'm sure you didn't
mean any offense.

- Thank you!
- Thank you.

Well, I'd better be going.

See you guys later.
- Nice meeting you,
Miss Bowman.

No, Adam! I'm gonna watch
The Poet's Corner on cable.

Forget it, Sarah!

I'm watching
Curse of the Slime People.

You are the curse
of the slime people!

Excuse me, may I
have that, please?

Thank you. Did-did you
at least

do your homework
by any chance?

Na-na, I didn't think so.
You know the rules.

First homework, then TV.

And that's a darned good rule,

because TV will just
rot your mind.

Jamie's right, kids.

I don't even own
a television set.

I sold it.

Obviously not in time.

[stutters] Get up stairs,
get up stairs.

Oh, look Charles,
it's my favorite program,

Still At Large.

It's where they show pictures

of criminals wanted
by the F.B.I.

I know, Buddy! I just hate
watching this show with you.

And now, the wrap-up
of tonight's episode.

The following criminals
are still at large:

Preston Lester, wanted for

the brutal ax murders
of four people.

- Charles!
I've seen that guy!
- Buddy.

Lesley Collins,
wanted for armed robbery.

I've seen that guy, Charles!

He's the Slurpee maker
at the mini-mart.

Buddy, please, you see,

this is why I hate watching
this show with you.

[stutters] You think
you've seen all these people!

And you don't
recognize anybody.

Don't say that again.

And finally,
this is Nora Bennington,

wanted in connection
with the 1971 burning of an

ROTC building
at Saxton College in Illinois.

Buddy, I've seen that woman!
No, look! This-this is scary.

You-you've lost your mind
and I've found it.

I swear I recognize her!
Don't you recognize her?

- I'm not allowed to say.
- Say!

Of course I recognize
her, Charles.

We just met her.
That's Jamie's teacher.

What? Oh, come on, Buddy,

I think that
she looks familiar

but there's no way
that's Jamie's teacher.

I'm telling you,
that's the person

that burned down the

ROTC building
in Saxton, Illinois.

Buddy, that's ridiculous!

I'll tell ya, I'll bet ya
ten bucks

that Nancy Bowman's never
even been to Illinois, okay?

Wow! Ya know,
I had no idea

that a small college
could offer so much.

I told ya, Copeland
is a great little school!

Oh, not Copeland.

This is a brochure from
Saxton College in Illinois.

Why are you reading
about a college in Illinois?

Miss Bowman said I should
think about going there.

It's her alma mater.

[knocking]

Charles, Charles, I went to the
newspaper office

this morning and got a

Now, look, change
the hair color,

add 20 years to the face
and who do you have?

Nancy Bowman.

What are you guys
saying about Miss Bowman?

Nice things!

What a wonderful
teacher she is.

Oh, yeah, she's a real
barn burner, all right!

Hide the matches.
Hi!

- Hi, Buggy.
- No, but you were very close.

- Oh, thank you. Hi, Charles.
- Hi, how are ya?

Fine. Jamie, I read
your report last night.

It's terrific!

Miss Bowman has taught
me everything I know.

Because of her, I've decided
to go to Saxton College!

Oh! That's where
I got my B.A.

Bachelor of Arson.

I'm, um, I'm studying to be
a teacher myself, you know.

Oh, good!

I've always felt
that education

is a search for truth.

Now, you won't make
a lot of money at it,

but the search can really
be exciting!

Oh, I'm sure it's a
lot more fun than,

say alligator wrestling
or hog-calling.

Or going to prison.

Oh, my, well,

Jamie, if you have
any questions

about tonight's assignment,

try to call me before

eight o'clock because
I'm having

a meeting of the
Women's Service League

at my place tonight, okay?
- Sure, Miss Bowman!

- Bye, Miss Burman-Bowman!
- Blow.

She is amazing, isn't she?
She's totally changed my life!

Charles, I studied Miss Bowman

very carefully and I'm sure
she's Nora Bennington!

You've got to call the F.B.I.
- Oh, I can't do that Buddy!

You heard what Jamie said.

Miss Bowman is very
important to her.

I-I-I can't make any accusations
without proof.

What kind of proof?

Solid proof.

How solid?

As solid as the block
between your ears!

- Here you go, guys.
[both]: Thanks.

All right, Buddy, now I admit
that this Nora Bennington

looks something like
Nancy Bowman but come on,

man, this thing
was like 20 years ago.

Okay, then let's find
an old picture of Nancy Bowman.

Hey-hey, you may be
on to something.

No, I'm not.
I'm making this up.

No, but you're right, Buddy.

The question is how-how

and where do we find
an old picture of Nancy Bowman?

We could go into her house

when she's not home
and take one!

It's called search
and seizure.

It's called breaking
and entering.

Charles!

I know how we can get into
Miss Bowman's apartment.

- How?
She said her women's club
was meeting

there tonight and we could go.

Buddy, think!

How can we get
into a women's club?

Oh, you're right.
It's probably for members only.

Charles, I just figured out
a way to prove that

Nora Bennington is not
the same person as Nancy Bowman!

- Tell me.
- You won't like it.

Come on, Buddy, please, Buddy,
i-if it'll work, I'll like it.

- Do you like it?
- I hate it!

It'll work.

Let's do it.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, hi! Come on in!
I'm Linda Murphy.

Hello, I'm Budella!

And this is my
friend, Charlotte!

Hi, how are you?

It's like a
ten-burrito nightmare, Buddy!

I can't believe I let you
talk me into this.

Hey, we're not
doing this for me.

We're doing it
for Jamie, remember?

Now, if we want
to clear Nancy Bowman's name,

we're gonna have to find
an old picture of her.

You don't have to tell
me the whole plot!

We don't have much time.
Start searching.

Right! And if I
find an old picture,

I'll take a picture of it.

[nervous chuckle] Whoops a,
it's-it's my exercise.

I've had to do it every day
since the baby came.

[chuckles]
Excuse me.

It's a new exercise.

Excuse me, excuse me, Bordella!

May I speak with you
for a moment, please?

Not now, Charlotte!
I'm on a roll. [laughs]

That's a lovely outfit
you're wearing.

Excuse me.

Are you nuts?
You can't talk to these women!

You can if you're
a sensitive man!

Donohue does it all the time.

Donohue doesn't go around
dressed like Oprah!

We have to find the evidence

and get out of here
before we get caught.

All right. See that chest?
- Yeah.

She probably keeps
her pictures in there.

They didn't tell me it was

an original but that is

the first one I've seen
exactly like it.

Oh, well, it's not
exactly like yours.

I didn't realize
they came in that size.

I didn't realize
they came with shoulder pads.

Oh, well, the-these
aren't shoulder pads.

They're the real thing!

[both laughing]

You're a lot of fun.
I'm Ruth Lemay.

- Oh.
- And you're?

- I'm Budella,
Budella Lebella!
- Oh!

And this is my friend,
Charlotte Webb.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How long have you
been active in the movement?

Oh, what movement?

Oh! [laughs]
I know just what you mean.

I haven't been
too active lately either.

[both]:
Oh!

Oh, I can't believe
that-that 20 years ago,

I was burning my bra and today

I'm actually wearing
a garter belt!

- You're not!
- I am!

- You're not.
- Oh, she is!

Well, I'd have to see
it to believe it.

- Oh, no, you wouldn't.
- Yes, I would.

- No, you wouldn't.
- Look!

- Oh, God!
- Oh!

I must take a picture

of your garter belt so I
might get one just like it.

Oh, yes, and while you're
down there get one for me,

too, Budella, okay?

Quickly.
- Uh, excuse me.

Have we met?

- Uh, no!
- Yes!

That's Budella and Charlotte!
They're a riot.

Well, any friends of yours,
Ruth, are okay in my book.

Friends of mine?

Now listen, go in the bedroom.

Nancy Bowman's gotta have
an old yearbook or something.

An old picture of herself
in there.

Okay, I'll cover for you.
- Right!

Uh, excuse me, I have
to go into the bathroom.

Oh, the bath-bathroom?
Oh, that's the bathroom!

Oh, well, um, I-I believe
that someone's in there!

Oh, well, that's okay.
I'm sure she won't mind.

Uh-uh, I was next!

Buddy, you're not
in the bedroom,

you're in the bathroom.

I know, dear!

Okay, everybody,
the meeting'll start

in about five minutes.

Ruth, darling!

I just realized that my

lens cap was on
when I was taking your picture.

May I take another
picture of your garter belt?

- Oh, sure!
- Oh, this is too easy.

Oops!
Fake hair, fake shoulders.

There's just nothing real
about this woman, is there?

[laughs] Oh, I swear, you two
ought to be on television!

I've got Miss Bowman's yearbook
between my legs!

Let's get out of here.

Okay, freeze!
Nobody move!

I'm calling the police.

Someone left
the toilet seat up!

All right, Benedict, Bennett...
Bennington!

Here she is, Buddy.

Hey, Nancy Bowman
is Nora Bennington!

That's weird.

No, you were right all along.

That's what's weird!

We gotta get these clothes,

we gotta get these clothes
back to the sorority house.

Yeah, you can call
the F.B.I. in the morning.

- Good night, Mr. Powell.
- Good night, Mr. Powell.

Good night, girls.

Charles, what did the F.B.I say
about Jamie's teacher?

I haven't called them
yet, Buddy!

I gotta weigh
all the consequences.

See, i-i-if I tell the F.B.I,
it'll break Jamie's heart.

Okay, then don't call
the F.B.I.

But if I don't call
the F.B.I.,

they'll accuse me
of harboring a known criminal.

Okay, call the F.B.I.

I guess I can't have it
both ways, can I?

Maybe you can.
Here's what you do.

Call the F.B.I. but don't
tell them anything.

You know, Buddy, on-on
the evolutionary scale,

you're just a small step
above wood.

- Oh, good morning, men!
- Oh, ah, Mr. Powell!

Can we ask you
a hypothetical question?

Okay, but if this
gets kinky, I'm leaving.

If-If someone committed

a crime 20 years ago
that you knew,

would you turn them in?

Well, what was this
hypothetical crime?

During the,
ah, Vietnam w*r, the,

ah, hypothetical suspect
burned down an ROTC building.

Burned down an ROTC building?

Well, in all fairness,
I'd be inclined to,

ah, rip out his gizzard,

cut off his lips
and skin him alive!

Then, I'd turn him in.

He's right, Buddy. Now,
Nancy Bowman broke the law.

I got to turn her in.

Charles, I wish you'd
talk to Jamie!

She's driving me
crazy about her teacher.

Maybe they're spending
too much time together.

How do you think Jamie would
feel seeing Miss Bowman

on alternate Tuesdays for the
next seven to ten years?

It would k*ll her!
Jamie worships Miss Bowman.

That's the problem.

Charles, I just want you

to know that whatever
you decide to do,

I'm with you all the way.
You won't be alone.

[doorbell rings]
That makes me feel good.

Hi!
Is Jamie around?

Ah, yes, she is, but, um,
before I get her we-we'd like

to have a word with you.

Yes, and I-I'd like to stay
but unfortunately I have

about six months worth
of laundry to do.

So, good luck,
Charles, goodbye!

Bye, Buggy.
So, what is it, Charles?

Um, I,

uh, I-I know who you are.

Well, of course you do!
I'm Jamie's teacher.

Yes. Yes, you're
Jamie's teacher,
Nora Bennington.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, I was-I saw
your picture

on-on that T.V. show
Still At Large.

Oh.

I have something that
belongs to you.

Where did you get this?

I was at the
women's meeting last night.

I should have realized.

You're a good-looking man,
Charles, but,

Lord, you're an ugly woman.

So, are you
going to turn me in?

Well, if I don't,
somebody will.

I kind of hoping
you'd turn yourself in.

I don't think I can do that.

Um, look, all I need
is a three-day head start.

By then, I'll have a new name,

a new life and a new
hair color.

It must be tough
on your friends

when you just disappear, huh?

I've tried not to do it
too often.

- Disappear?
- No, make friends.

Well, what about Jamie?

You know, she-she really
cares about you.

I care about her, too!
I love Jamie.

[sighs] May-maybe you could
tell her that I had to leave

town suddenly to visit,

um, my sick grandmother
or something.

See, I-I'd really
rather not do that.

Um, Jamie's a funny girl.

Ya know, you lie to her
just once

and she'll never forgive you.

Miss Bowman, hi!

Hi, Jamie!

Um, here's your
take-home exam.

You got another A.
- Thanks!

I'll be back in school tomorrow.

Oh, good!

Well, um, I'm afraid that,
ah, I won't be there.

I have to leave town
for a while.

Oh, no!
How long will you be gone?

I'm not sure.
Quite a while.

What do you mean?
Why do you have to leave?

Oh, Jamie.

I'm not who you think I am.

My real name
is Nora Bennington

and during the Vietnam w*r,
I committed a crime.

Small crime.

You see, it was during
this anti-w*r demonstration.

Small demonstration.

The group I was with
set fire to an ROTC building.

Big fire.

And now, I'm wanted
by the F.B.I.

That's why
you're leaving town.

Yeah, you see, once you
start running from the law,

you gotta to keep on running.

I don't want you to run.

Jamie, they could send me
to prison!

They could also
suspend your sentence.

I don't know, I don't know
if I

can go back to being
Nora Bennington.

To tell you the truth,

I don't even know if
I am Nora Bennington anymore.

You know, I don't understand!

You said that education
was a search for truth.

Well, how you can search
for truth if you're
living a lie?

You can't.

[dry chuckle]

Thanks for reminding me.

How 'bout that?

I just learned something
from one of my students.

I think she had
a pretty good teacher.

Thank you, but I think

it's time I started
practicing what I teach, huh?

[sighs] Jamie, from now on
I promise you,

I won't be living
a lie anymore.

Nora Bennington
is going to the F.B.I.

and turn herself in.

[chuckle] Maybe the F.B.I.
won't even remember your case!

Well, they'd better!

It was humiliating enough

when they dropped me
from their ten most wanted list.

Goodbye, Charles.

Bye.

Jamie, I'll try to get
back as soon as I can.

Bye-bye.

Miss Bowman!

- Oh, Charles!
- I know.

I don't understand.

How could she burn
down a building?

I don't know,
matches, gasoline.

Look, Jamie.

You have to understand
something.

The '60s and the '70s

were very tough times,
you know, and...

Well, she was young.
She made a mistake.

Yeah.

Do you think they will
let her go?

I don't know.
But don't you let her go, okay?

You keep her right here.

Charles, Charles!

Remember the ax m*rder*r
we saw on Still At Large?

The one with the gray hair

and the mean,
beady little eyes?

- Yes.
- I just realized who he is!

[screams]

[♪♪]

These are the pictures
you took at the

Women's Club meeting?
- Yeah, it's Ruth Lemay!

How can you tell, Buddy?
They're all close-ups of legs!

They could belong to anybody.

Hi. Oh, I know who that is!
Um, that's Miss Lemay.

You know Ruth Lemay?

Yeah, she's my math teacher.

And you recognize
her legs, Adam?

Is that what you do
in math class all day,

is stare at your
teacher's legs?

Don't blame me, Charles!

I mean, I have to look
at them.

I'm in the front row.
- Poor kid.

He's lucky and he doesn't
even know it.

Buddy, luck has nothing
to do with it.

I used to be in the back row.

I paid Kevin Holloway

ten bucks to trade
seats with me.

Do you think you oughta
have a talk with him?

No, I think he's coming
along quite well.

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I see, I want ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪ ♪