04x21 - Big Bang

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪]

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ he's there
just to take good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see ♪

♪ I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪♪

I can do this.

I will do this!

Nothing can stand
in the way of my success!

Charles,
what are you planning
to do tonight?

Fail!

Well, change your plans!

I'm going to Camp Kilmer,
and I'm putting you in charge.

You can't afford to fail.

Oh, no, sir.
What I meant was,

I have to write an essay
about growing up,

and if I don't turn it in
by tomorrow,

I'm gonna fail the course.

Well, that's your problem,
Charles.

My problem is making sure
that you keep an eye on things
while I'm gone.

Actually,
that's also your problem.

You got a lot of problems,
Charles.

Don't let them
get in the way of your work.

Have a nice day.

Okay.

"Growing up is, ah..."

Goodbye, Charles.
I'm leaving.

Bye, Sarah.
You-you taking Rebecca
to school with you?

No, I'm dropping her off
at the flea market
down the street.

I'm sure some little girl
would love to have her.

So, you're giving Rebecca away?

I thought she was
your favorite doll.

She was, Charles,
but I'm not a child anymore.

I think it's about time
I got rid of babyish things,
like dolls.

Well... okay... if you think so.

I know so.
Bye.

All right, see you later.

All right, "Growing Up,"
without interruptions.

[doorbell rings]

Good morrows.
- Oh.

Oh, hi.
- Hi, Mom.

Here's all the stuff you wanted.

Oh, Mom, all I wanted
was the family photo album.

Charles, you said you had to
write an essay on growing up.

I-I yeah, I do, Mom.
But I'm having trouble with it.

That's why I want to see
some pictures of my childhood.

Sweetheart, these souvenirs
are your childhood.

I just want you to promise
you won't get depressed.

Why would I get depressed?

Oh, honey.

I've seen these a million times.

You haven't seen them in years.

I just don't want you to
get all emotional
about your lost youth.

Okay, I won't.
- Good!
Good, okay.

Here's the picture album,

some of your little toys
are in here,

and some of your baby clothes.

Yeah.

Ah.

Oh, I remember the first time
you ever wore this.

You were so cute.

[stammering]
You...

[stammering]
You were Mommy's
little baby boy.

I know.

[stammering]
No.

Wha...
Why did you have to grow up?

You-you're never gonna wear
this little sailor suit again.

I-I-I I can try, Mom.
I'll lose weight.

[knocking]
[Charles] Yeah!

Charles?
- Yeah.

Charles, I have to talk to you.

Oh, hi, Aunt Lillian.

Life is too short.

[Lillian continues sobbing]

So am I,
but I don't go around
crying about it.

I'm sorry.

I-I have to leave, boys.
- All right.

[crying]
I-I-I-I-I...

[Charles]
Mom... Mom!

Don't worry.
I'm still your baby!

[sobbing]

What did you do to her?

Oh... nothing, Buddy.

I have to write an essay
on my childhood,

and I asked Mom to bring
some of my stuff over
from when I was a kid.

It always makes her cry.
- Oh.

Oh, let's see.

Hey, look.
Metal feet.

Where's the rest of the statue?
- Oh, oh.

Those are my baby shoes.
My mother had them bronzed.

Oh... oh, look!
A petrified diaper.

No, those are my diapers.
Mom had them bronzed, too.

You wore metal shoes
and metal underwear?

You must have looked like R2-D2.

Yeah, but I had the best posture
in nursery school.

What do you want, Buddy?
- Oh, I came by to tell you,

if you were planning
on hanging out with me tonight,
forget it!

'Cause I have a big experiment
to do for my chemistry class.

Don't worry,
I'll be busy all night.

If I don't turn
this essay in by tomorrow,

I'm gonna fail the course.

You know, I...
I just can't seem
to get a handle on it!

Maybe my childhood
was too normal.

So?

Why don't you base your essay
on my childhood?

No, I can't.
Professor Krick
doesn't like science fiction.

Oh.
[typing]

Then, I guess
you don't want to hear
about the dog I had as a boy.

No.

Okay, Charles.
I'll see you later.
- All right.

My dog's name was Kitty.

I don't care, Buddy.

He had an ingrown tail.

Buddy!

We had to have him x-rayed
to find out if he was happy.

Hey, Charles [hiccups].
I'm [hiccups] home
from school [hiccups].

Have the hiccups, Adam?

No, thanks.
I already have some [hiccups].

Don't get cute with me.

Just drink a glass of water
straight down

without taking a breath,
all right?

I've already had ten glasses
[hiccups] of water today.

Is it okay if I [hiccups]
drink this one in the bathroom?

Please do.

All right.

"Growing up is hard to do."

No, that's-that's breaking up
is hard to do.

You'll get over it, Sarah.

Just give it some time.

Hi, Charles.
- Hey, Jamie.

Sarah, how're you doing?

No, thanks, I'm not hungry.

She dropped Rebecca off
at the flea market,
and she's still in shock.

Yeah, I don't doubt it.
Rebecca was her favorite doll.

Yeah, but here's the good news.

Look, Charles, I know
you have to finish your essay

and you don't want
to be disturbed,

so I decided to do you a favor
and go out tonight... on a date.

Thanks, Jamie.

Freeze... time, please.

Come back, here.
Join me, won't you?

What do you mean
you have "a date?"

Jamie, it's-it's a school night.

Oh, but Charles,
all my homework is finished!

But it-it-it it's still
a school night.

Now, your grandfather's gone,
your mother's working,
that means I'm in charge, okay?

Oh, Charles.

Look, I just met Richard.

He's class president,

captain of the swimming team,

a nice guy,

and a straight "A" student.

What grade is he in?

Uh...

He's a junior.

Look Jamie,
I'd like to bend the rules,
but I can't...

But Charles.

All right,
I... look... fine...
just don't do that to me, okay?

All right, look,
he can come over here.

All right, be he's got to leave
by ten o'clock.

Now, take it or leave it!
- I'll take it!

Thank you, Charles.
- Okay.

Charles!
Charles!

I really need your help.

The chemistry lab is closed.

Can I do my experiment
over here?

Why here, Buddy?
You have a dorm room.

Do it there!

I can't, they passed a law
against me ever having chemicals
or livestock in my room again.

But please, Charles?
I'll stay out of your way.

If I don't get this done,
I'm gonna flunk.

Fine, not even to hear ya.

Great, I'll go get my things.

Well, how's your essay coming?

It's not.
I can't seem to get to it.

[♪♪]

Oh, Charles,
you're still [hiccups]
working on your [hiccups] essay?

Yeah, so I'm only halfway
through it.

Don't tell me you still
have the hiccups.
[Adam hiccups]

All right, take a deep breath.
Now, hold it!

[door opens]

Okay, Charles.

I've got all
my chemistry equipment.

Where do you want me to put it?

Just set it up
on the counter, Buddy.

Okay.

You know, Charles,

I don't think I can do
my chemistry experiment

with you typing like that.

You won't have to, Buddy.
I'll be in the living room.

You know, Charles,

I don't think
I can do my chemistry experiment

with Adam turning blue
like that.

What?

Breathe, Adam!

[hiccups]

Adam, if you want
to get rid of the hiccups,

you should drink
a glass of water

while hanging upside down
from your feet.

No way!
[hiccups]

Come on, Adam.
This never fails.
I'll tell you what.

Charles and I
will hold you upside down
while you drink the water.

Okay?
- Come on, Adam.
It's worth a try.

I'm fine, see?
No hiccups.

You guys better go talk
to Sarah.

I mean, she's-she's been
really depressed

ever since she gave
her ratty, old doll away.

All right, [stutters]
as long as you're sure
you're okay.

I am fine.

[hiccups]

Charles?
- Let's do it!

All right.
- Okay.

Drink, Adam!
- No! [hiccups]

Drink before we decide
to make a wish.

Oh, Sarah?

Sarah?

Sarah!

Take this.

Sarah.

Sarah, do you want to talk?

No, thanks, Rebecca.
I'm fine.

Oh, really?

Then, why did you just call me
"Rebecca?"

I didn't.

Why would I do
a thing like that?

Rebecca was my favorite doll
when I was a child.

I'm a grown woman now.

I don't need her anymore.

And she doesn't need me.

I'm a grown woman,
and I'll never gonna see
Rebecca again.

That's it.

I gotta get the damn doll back.

Okay.
Keep hopping, Adam,
this never fails.

[doorbell rings]
Little higher!

Charles!

Rick, what's going on?
- How you doing?

All right.
- Hey, Rick!

You're just in time to help me
with my chemistry experiment.

Rick's in my chemistry class.
He gets straight "A's!"
[Adam hiccups]

I'd like to help you, Buddy,
but I got a date tonight.

You have a date every night.
How do you do it?

It's easy.
I always give 'em
what they want.

[Jamie]
Hi.

Hey... whoa!

Jamie, you look great.
Your date is gonna flip out.

Oh, Jamie.
This is my classmate,
Rick Travis.

Oh, what a coincidence.

He's also Richard Travis...

...my date.

[♪♪]

[Adam hiccuping]

Rick!

Jamie, do you... do you know
that Rick, here, is my age?

Well, he seems a lot younger.

Maybe it's because
he's more fun.

Rick, did you know that
Jamie is only 16?

Hey, when a woman
is as beautiful as Jamie is,
who cares about age?

Rick, could you at least
help me set up
for my chemistry experiment?

It'll only take a minute to,
it's in the kitchen.

Uh, yeah, I guess...
if it'll only take a minute.

I... Charles?
You never said
what you were doing here.

I work here.

I take care of these children.

Yeah?
Good gig!

Be right back, Jamie.
Let's go, Buddy.

[Adam hiccuping]

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

You said that you had a date
with a high school junior.

Uh-uh, I never said
"high school!"

I said he was a junior.
He is.

He's a college junior!

Jamie,
you can't go out with him!

I'm not,
I'm staying in with him.

You said I could.
- Now... don't get...

Don't argue with me, Jamie.

I have to finish an essay, okay?
- But Charles, come on!

You said Richard could stay
until ten o'clock.

Look, nothing is gonna happen.
- I-I know nothing's
gonna happen, you know why?

Because I'm gonna be in here
with you, watching you,
to make sure nothing happens.

Charles!
That's very embarrassing.

[Adam hiccuping]
- Hey, Roger Rabbit!

Roger, you can stop hopping now,
okay?

You haven't lost
the hiccups yet?

No, but I've lost four fillings.

Great!
Rick's got my experiment
all set up.

Then, what's he doing
in the kitchen, Buddy?

Go back in there,
and have Ricky and Jamie
get back out here.

I-I have to keep
my eye on them!

Well, if you keep
your eye on them,

how are you gonna
write your essay?

I'll write it
with the other eye.

Charles, if anyone needs me,
I'll be up in the attic

writing a eulogy
for Rebecca.

Sarah, Rebecca isn't dead.

She's just at the flea market.

No, Charles, she's dead.
- Oh, wow.

Who's Rebecca?

Rebecca is Sarah's
favorite doll.

She gave it away, and now,
I have to get it back,

but I can't leave
Jamie alone with Rick.

They won't be alone, Charles.

I'm here.

All right, Buddy.
I'm putting you in charge.

Wow,
I can't believe
I just said that.

All right, well,
you can't let them
out of your sight.

I'll hurry, okay?
- Charles!
- What?

What about [hiccups] me?

Oh, you feel better, now?
[Adam hiccups]

Hold that thought.

[evil laugh]

Wow!

It lives!

It lives!

I've actually harnessed
the very forces of nature.

My creation lives!

And let's see what's next?

Do I add two c.c.'s
of hydrochloric acid

or was that 200 c.c.'s?

I think it was 200.

Oh, Buddy, I made it.

I just... I got them
just as they were closing
the flea market,

but I got Sarah's doll back.

Where are Rick and Jamie?
- Oh, don't worry, Charles.

They're in the living room.
Adam's watching them.

Buddy!
Buddy!

How long do [hiccups]
how long do I have to keep

this paper bag [hiccups]
over my head?

Until you get rid
of the hiccups.

How can he be watching
Rick and Jamie

with a paper bag
on his head?

Well, he can still hear them!

No, I can't.
- Why not?

They're not in [hiccups]
the living room anymore.

They're upstairs
in Jamie's [hiccups] bedroom.

See, here's my dad
in his uniform.

And here he is
with my mom in Hawaii.

How'd you get
to be so perfect?

[mumbles]
I don't know.

Did you go
to some special school

that other women
don't know about?

I thought you wanted to see
pictures of my family.

Right now, I'm having trouble
seeing anything but you.

I'll never have to look
at another sunset again.

Whenever I wanna
experience beauty,

I'll just close my eyes
and picture your face.

Uh, thanks.

Shouldn't we go downstairs?

Uh, maybe we shouldn't.

All right, all right.

Rick, I'm gonna cut you a break.

If you're out of here
in ten seconds,

you get to keep your teeth.

But Charles!
Richard is my guest.

Jamie, Richard is the spider
and you're the fly.

Take a hike, spider.

Sorry, no problems, Charles.
I was just leaving, all right.

Jamie, you were in
way over your head.

But Charles, he said
such wonderful things!

He's a college man.

We practice saying those things
in front of mirrors.

I could have handled
the situation.

But Jamie,
why should you have to?

What's your hurry?

Stick with the boys

who get all tongue-tied
when you smile at them.

I'm tell you,
when you're through
with high school,

you're gonna be the spider,

and a lot of college guys
are gonna be knocking
on your web.

I could live with that.

You're gonna be
very dangerous some day,
you know that?

Adam, take the bag
off of your head.

Uh... Sarah, listen.

I know that
you're a grown woman,

but Rebecca doesn't.

And I think we should tell her.

Let's go in the kitchen.

Rebecca?
- I got her back for you.

Oh, Charles!

How can I ever thank you?
- Yeah, come on.

[expl*si*n]

What was that?

[Charles]
Buddy!

Are you okay?

Mommy?
- No.

Buddy, it's me.
It's me, Charles.

Oh, yeah, Charles.

I'm okay, but that's because
I'm a professional.

Don't you kids
try this at home.

Buddy, thanks!
You scared the hiccups
right out of me.

Buddy, are you sure
you're okay?

Oh, yeah.
I'm-I'm fine but...

Well, there were
some casualties.

Rebecca!

I'm... I'm sorry, Sarah.

Uh...

Could you guys give us
a minute here alone?
- Yeah.

Sure.
- Thanks.

Sarah...
this is all my fault, you...

You gave your doll away,

and I butted in
and went and got her for you.

I should've just stayed
out of it.

That's all right, Charles.

I just didn't know
it would be that hard
to let go of my childhood.

You know, you can't let go
of your childhood, Sarah.

You can't, you see...

Rebecca...

...was an important part
of your life and...

...she'll always be
a part of you.

Hell, we all have to grow up,
but we-we...

we can't give up
the things that we love.

Tell you what.
Open your locket.

Okay, what for?

Let me give you a piece,
a lock of Rebecca's hair,

just so you know
that she's always with you.

Oh, that's nice, Charles.
- All right.

Thank you.
- All right, now go write
a happy poem.

I got some work to do.

Charles?
There's something
I forgot to tell you.

Later, Buddy!

We gotta get
this place cleaned up,
as quick as possible

and then I gotta finish
writing my essay.

Where is my essay?

That's what
I forgot to tell you.

Remember I said that
there were some casualties?

Yeah.

Your essay made
the supreme sacrifice.

No!

No, Buddy, I was half-finished!

Well, well, couldn't you
half-write it again?

No, I don't have the time, now.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

Wh-what I was writing
was basically junk anyway.

I don't know anything
about growing up.

Well, don't tell
Professor Krick that.

Tell him what happened tonight,

and-and maybe
he'll give you an extension.

Tell him what, Buddy?

That Jamie wanted
to grow up too quick,

so she had a date
with a college man,

and that Sarah
didn't want to grow up at all,

so she gave her doll away
and went into shock

because she couldn't
get it back,

and Adam had the hiccups

so I had to stop working
to solve all their problems,

is that what you want me
to tell him, Buddy?
- No.

I guess you're right, Charles.

If you told him all of that,

he would wonder why
you didn't put it in your essay.

Oh.

And like, I watch these kids
growing up every day.

I know a lot about growing up.

All I have to do
is write about that.

[door opens]

Well, Lembeck.
I didn't expect...

What happened here?

Some idiot
did a chemistry experiment
in the kitchen,

and it exploded!

Who was it?

How many idiots
do you know?

Just one!

Well, that should
narrow it down.

"Growing up
is a never ending process.

It can be painful or pleasant.

The secret is,
never let your body
get ahead of your head,

and never let your head
get ahead of your heart."

[door opens]

Hey, Charles, guess what?
- What?

Mr. Powell's best subject
in high school was chemistry.

He's helping me
with my chemistry experiment.
- Oh, yeah?

[loud expl*si*n]

[♪♪]

Still working on your essay?

Yeah, just finishing up, Adam.

What are you doing
with Sarah's doll?

Voodoo.

I'm gonna put
a curse on Jamie.

I've got bad news for you,
voodoo doesn't work.

It's just a dumb,
superstitious belief.

I don't care.
I'm still gonna give it a try.

Why would you want to put
a curse on Jamie?

She made fun of me all day
when I had the hiccups.

Well, Adam,
you can't get even with somebody
by sticking a pin in doll.

Good night, Charles.
- Uh, good night, Jamie.

Wait a minute.
Aren't you going to say good
night to your brother?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Good night,
you slimy, little wonk.

[hiccups]

[♪♪]

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see ♪

♪ I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

[♪♪]

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪

[fanfare ♪]