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02x07 - The Party Cruise/Won-Ton Bombs

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Chowder". Aired: November 2, 2007 – August 7, 2010.*
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The series revolves around the titular Chowder, who works as an apprentice to chef Mung Daal at his catering company.

02x07 - The Party Cruise/Won-Ton Bombs

Post by bunniefuu »

Mung daal: ♪ you take the

Moon, and you take the sun ♪

Chowder: ♪ you take

Everything that seems like fun ♪

Truffles: ♪ you stir it all

Up, and when you're done ♪

Shnitzel: ♪ radda radda radda

R-r-radda radda ♪

All: ♪ so, come on in

♪ Feel free to do some looking

♪ Stay awhile 'cause something's

Always cooking ♪

♪ Come on in

♪ Feel free to do some looking

♪ Stay awhile 'cause something's

Always cooking ♪

Yeah!

[ Applause ]

Chowder: [ wailing ] why?!

Why?!

Why do we have to be out here at


Why can't I go back to bed?!

You devil woman!

Mung daal: oh, I'm sorry.

Does the wittle, wittle, wittle,

Wittle baby want to go home?

Chowder: yes, please.

Mung daal: well, you can't.

Today we are learning how to be

Men!

[ Blump! ]

We just received a big order for

Bluffer fish stew, and we are

Going fishing!

Like men!

[ Both snoring ]

Wake up!

Men never sleep!

Sure wish I could.

[ Gulp! ]

Love that joe!

Chowder: but why so early in

The morning?

Mung daal: because we got to

Get a boat before they're all

Rented out by other men who

Don't sleep.

Chowder: mung, I don't want

To be a man.

Mung daal: uh, okay.

So, now to rent us a boat like a

Man!

[ High-pitched ] yoo-hoo!

[ Screech! ]

[ Horn toots ]

Ahoy, there!

Mung daal: aho-- no!

Is someone looking to charter

A vessel?

[ Snorts ]

Mung daal: reuben, kindly

Step off that ship so that I may

Speak with its captain.

You are.

Mung daal: I am what?

Speaking with the captain.

Mung daal: we'll just have to

Rent another boat.

Thank you.

My good sir, there are no

Other boats!

Mung daal: what's that out

There?

[ Boom! ]

Thanks a lot, pal!

So, as they say in france,


por favor.

Mung daal: no deal!

Chowder: whoo-hoo!

We're going home!

Shnitzel: radda radda!

[ Laughs ]

Mung daal: oh, no, you don't.

I'll give you a sandwich.

[ Sniffs ]

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Mung daal: come on, men.

We're goin' fishin'.

Chowder: aw, man.

Mung daal: I got my eye on

You.

You're very tall.

Shnitzel: ra-radda.

Mung daal: the nerve of that

Guy.

Oh, well.

The important thing is, now we

Can fish in peace and quiet.

[ Both giggling ]

What the...

[ Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! ]

Who the...

Reuben!

What's up?

Hey, while we're talking, would

You mind doing my back?

I don't want to burn.

Mung daal: what is the

Meaning of this?!

Oh, how rude of me.

Do you want me to do your back

First?

Mung daal: why are all these

People on my fishing boat?

All: hey, there!

They all rented it first.

I'm in hog heaven.

[ Horn toots ]

Mung daal: oh, great.

Now we're trapped.

Chowder: [ giggling ]

[ Zip! ]

Mung daal: come here!

[ Zip! ]

Come here!

Now, listen.

We are not going to let

Ourselves get caught up in

Reuben's silly party.

Now, let's get down to business.

Why aren't they in thongs?

Why would you go on a cruise and

Not wear a thong?

Oh, what is this world coming

To?!

Mung daal: men, I am going to

Introduce you to fishing lesson

Number one -- the art of

Patience.

[ Water rippling ]

[ Plink! ]

[ Plunk! ]

[ Plink! ]

[ Plunk! ]

[ Plink! Plunk! ]

[ Plink! Plunk! ]

Chowder: [ inhales sharply ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

Mung daal: patience!

Chowder: I'm bore-e-e-d.

Ay-yi-yi-yi.

Shnitzel: [ snoring ]

[ Grunts ]

Okay, party people, let's get

The fun started with some

Onboard entertainment!

Both: oink, oink.

The ladies may remember this

One from the late '90s.

It's a little ditty I like to

Call "hey, there."

♪ Hey, there

♪ Hey, there, you

♪ Hey, there

♪ How are you doing?

♪ Tell me what's up

[ Coughing ]

Mung daal: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Reuben, a word, please.

♪ He-e-e-e-y, the-e-e-e-re

Yeah!

Mung daal: we are trying to

Fish!

For a compliment?

Hey, aren't we all in this crazy

World?

Both: oink, oink.

Thank you.

I'll be here all week.

Mung daal: look, reuben, help

Me out here.

I'm trying to teach the boys a

Valuable lesson about being men.

Nothing says "manly" like a

Tattoo.

Andre, chop-chop.

These men need help becoming

Men.

Tattoos for all!

Mung daal: weird.

Weird, weird, weird.

Weird.

Chowder: ♪ hey, there

♪ Hey, there, you

♪ Hey, there

Mung daal: fishing -- now!

Chowder: hey...there.

Hey, you, there...

Mung daal: just ignore that

Pig.

We're not going to let him ruin

Our day.

[ Boing! ]

I got one! I got one!

Oh, thanks for saving me.

I doused myself with so much

Cocoa butter, I rolled right off

The boat.

Help me up?

Mung daal: no!

Your loss.

We were about to do the hula!

[ Squish! ]

[ Tropical music plays ]

Yeah, man.

Shake it! Own that skirt!

Tell it who's boss!

Mung daal: I think we lost

Shnitzel to the dark side.

Guess it's just you and me, pal.

Chowder: but it seems so much

Brighter on the dark side.

Mung daal: you know, fishing

Is a great way for men to bond.

We've got nothing but time out

Here.

Did I ever tell you the story of

My famous 1,000-day fishing

Trip?

Chowder: how many days?

Mung daal: 1,000.

Chowder: oh, gosh!

Mung daal: now, on the first

Day, I woke up.

It was morning, and then

Blah-blah-blah,

Blah-blah-blah-blah.

Babble-babble-babble.

Babble-blah-blah-blah-blah.

Don't you think, chowder?

Huh?

[ Caws ]

Mung daal: they've chosen

Reuben over me?

[ Warble! ]

But we were supposed to be doing

Man stuff.

[ Warble! ]

Their loss.

I guess it's just you and me,

Fake chowder.

Oh...

Okay, all you party cruisers,

It's yoga time!

Mung daal: yoga?

Well, good.

At least that's quiet.

Now, I want everyone to relax

Into the downward dog.

Really let go.

[ Farts ]

[ All groaning, farting ]

Mung daal: oh, you got to be

Kidding!

And now let's ease into the

Hungry cobra.

[ Creak! ]

[ Creak! ]

Chowder: [ grunting ]

Hiss, hiss.

Now raise those legs over those

Heads.

Chowder: [ grunting ]

[ Creak! ]

Mr. Cruise director?

This really hurts.

The pain is good for you.

Bend your knees.

Chowder: [ grunting ]

[ Ponk! ]

[ Ponk! ]

[ Ponk! ]

[ Ponk! ]

Mung daal: huh.

What was that?

[ Whistle! ]

[ Bonk! ]

Ow!

I'm not gonna let it bother me.

I don't care. I don't care.

I don't care.

Shuffleboard!

Yah!

[ Bonk! ]

Mung daal: ow!

Chowder: hula-hoop!

Whoo!

Mung daal: ow!

Group cannonball!

[ Boing! ]

Mung daal: all right!

That's it!

Now I'm --

[ Twang! ]

Ohh! I got a bite!

[ Laughs maniacally ]

[ Rumble! Rumble! ]

It's a bluffer fish!

And it's a real whopper!

Why would you say that?

I've been trying to lose weight!

Mung daal: I got you now!

[ Laughs maniacally ]

Shake it harder, cowpokes.

Chowder: [ western accent ]

Boot, scoot, and turn.

Mung daal: wh-o-o-o-o-oa!

[ Zip! ]

No!!

[ Creak! ]

[ Snap! ]

Pbbbbbbbbbbbht!

Mung daal: [ muttering ]

[ Shink! ]

Chowder...

Sweetheart...dear boy...

The bluffer fish got away.

Because you and your friend

Shnitzel wanted to be a couple

Of good-time charlies!

y wanted to be us?

How silly!

Come on, charlie.

Let's go have a good time.

Chowder: mung, I don't want

To be those guys.

I want to be this guy, but with

A smile.

Margarine! Turn up the music!

[ Tink! ]

[ Music plays ]

Mung daal: that's it!

I'm turning this ship around!

Oh, no, you don't, you

Pooper!

[ Grunts ]

Ha ha!

Mung daal: reuben...

Let go of that wheel!

Oh. Hey. What's up?

Mung daal: you know what's

Up, pork rind!

Turn it around, I say!

[ Motor revs ]

All: yay!

[ Creak! Squish! ]

Mung daal: gahhhh!

Turn this can around, or i will!

Get your filthy mitts off of

Me!

Mung daal: not until you let

Me steer the ship!

Mutiny!

Help! I'm being mutinized!

Chowder: mung, are you okay?

We heard screaming.

Mung daal: I'm fine.

Don't I look like I'm fine?

A fine piece of work.

Mung daal: that's it!

Chowder: mung, stop!

You're losing it!

Mung daal: chowder, this is

Man business, and since you

Refuse to learn how to be a man,

You need to get out of my way!

Chowder: well, this non-man

Isn't going anywhere if being a

Man means he has to live in a

World where men can't party and

Fish together.

Mung daal: chowder, honey,

Men live in that world

Together.

I guess I just got hurt because

You guys would choose reuben

Over me.

Chowder: I didn't mean to

Hurt you.

You just bore me.

Mung daal: and I didn't mean

To hurt you.

Oh, that's manly, for sure.

Mung daal: listen, you.

We've had enough of this

Overindulgent sailor's

Lifestyle.

We want to go home.

This is my ship, and I'll go

Where I want.

Tickles!

Mung daal: aah!

[ Grunts ]

Mung daal: what is this?

"J.w.q. Aldershotz and

Duke edmund p.t. Frump --

Registered owners"?!

This is not your ship!

You...

♪ Hey, there

[ Horn blares ]

This is the schmoast guard.

I repeat, this is the

Schmoast guard.

Pull the boat over at once!

I repeat --

That's it.

That's definitely our boat.

[ Screech! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Scree-e-e-e-e-ch! ]

[ Snap! ]

Well.

I don't like this one bit.

Mung daal: [ gasps ]

Guess what, guys.

We're finally free to fish!

Freeze, dirtbag!

Mung daal: I think I spoke

Too soon.

Well, at least now we'll have

Plenty of peace and quiet.

Chowder: um, mung...

All: hey, there!

[ Warble! ]

Mung daal: [ wailing ]

[ Poof! Poof! Poof! ]

Chowder: hi, mung!

We're back from the farmers

Market, and I got this giant

Hand.

Truffles: and I got a new

Frying pan!

[ Clang! ]

Chowder: and we've brought a

Surprise for you, too.

Mung daal: well, I like

Surprises.

Chowder: [ belches ]

[ Coughing ]

Hey. Hey, I know you.

You are chef mung daal.

Mung daal: [ whimpering ]

Chowder: do you like your

Surprise, mung?

Truffles: ha!

We found him telling funny

Stories about you in the

Farmers market.

Mung daal: I've never seen

This man before in my life.

No! Bad chef. Bad chef.

Go lie down.

Chowder: hey!

Mung's not a bad chef.

He's a good one.

Yeah?

Who told you that?

I know.

The truth is hard for the young.

Sob, sob.

You see, I'm mung's old cooking

Master.

[ Shatter! ]

Chowder: you were mung's old

Cooking master?!

My master's master?!

Mung daal: aaah!

No food for you here, old man

I've never met!

Off you go!

[ Panting ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Fling! ]

That's right. I --

[ Fling! ]

...trained him like a dog.

[ Fling! ]

Mung daal: ooh!

I will tell you a story about

Mung's miserable past now.

Mung daal: okay! Okay!

This is my old cooking master,

Lo mein.

Hmmm.

Mung daal: and, yes, I've

Made a few mistakes.

But I am a good --

No! It's story time!

Sit!

Truffles: did someone say

"Story about mung's past"?

Shnitzel: ooh! Radda!

Mung daal: no-no-no-no-no.

No stories.

[ Rumble! ]

We like stories.

Right, marzipan city?

All: yeah!

[ Blink! Blink! Creak! ]

No. Go stand over there.

"Mung daal's biggest failure --

The won-ton b*mb."

[ Chuckles ]

"Featured in entertaining

Thought-bubble form."

[ Giggling ]

Oh, my.

I'll have four orders of won-ton

Bombs.

[ Giggles ]

Good choice.

In 12 minutes.

Impossible. No.

Won-ton b*mb takes all day to

Cook.

Both: we'll have 5 orders in


[ Gasps ]

I'll have 6 orders in


5 Orders in 9 minutes.

[ Gasping ]

All: we all want won-ton

Bombs.

[ Giggling ]

Now, young mung loved food --

Big food, little food, hot food,

Even fast food.

Young mung daal: I'll do it,

Master lo mein.

Very well.

But if you mess up, I'll call

You "failure for life."

Now, you must focus like never

Before.

Young mung daal: focus.

Hey, what are those?

[ All giggling ]

Those are la-dies.

Young mung daal: ladies?

No, not ladies! La-dies.

[ Giggling ]

Look how cute!

I could order a million of him.

All: us, too!

[ Giggling ]

[ Creak! ]

Young mung daal: ladies.

Perhaps you like some squats

With that order.

[ Creak! Creak! Creak! Creak! ]

Remember -- focus.

Young mung daal: oh.

Oh, sorry. Sorry. What?

So, young mung got cooking...

Young mung daal: ladies,

Ladies.

...but used all the wrong

Ingredients...

Young mung daal: ladies,

Ladies.

Ladies.

...and cooked it...

Then started a funny walk.

[ Funk music plays ]

Young mung daal: ladies.

Squats.

Young mung!

Where's that order?!

Young mung daal: here it is,

Master lo mein.

[ Flies buzzing ]

Hmm?

[ Boom! ]

[ Splat! ]

[ All yelling ]

Chowder: did they explode?

Mung daal: yes, yes, of

Course -- with flavor.

No! No flavor!

They exploded something much

Worse.

Hi. My name's timmy.

I --

No. No, man! Wait! Be cool!

Aaaah!

The end.

[ Both laughing ]

Shnitzel: radda radda!

Radda radda radda!

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughter ]

Enough!

[ Laughter stops ]

Okay, one more time.

[ Laughter resumes ]

Gee.

Who'd have thought mung's

Failures could be so funny?

Come on.

Let's get a sandwich and

Celebrate.

[ Warble! Warble! ]

[ Chicken cawing ]

[ Patter! Patter! ]

[ Patter! Patter! ]

[ Patter! Patter! ]

Chowder: mung?

You okay?

Mung daal: I don't know,

Chowder.

After all these years, lo mein

Still doesn't give me any

Respect.

Chowder: I don't get it,

Mung.

You're a real good chef now --

A rea good chef.

I wish there was some way we

Could go back in time and make

Those won-ton bombs all over

Again.

Mung daal: back in time!

Chowder, that's it, my boy!

Do you realize what this means?

Chowder: no! No, I don't!

Mung daal: I'm gonna need

your help!

Chowder: my help?

Mung daal: your help!

Chowder: awesome!

Mung daal: now, give me a

Hand, will ya?

[ Grunting ]

[ Laughter ]

And, uh, and mung's breath so

Bad, all the garlic ran away.

[ Laughter ]

Chowder: excuse me, lo mein.

I have something to ask ya.

Right, mung?

[ Tink! ]

Mung daal: that's right.

And I didn't put him up to it.

[ Tink! ]

Chowder: would you tell that

Won-ton b*mb story again?

Ah, yes.

Good choice.

Good choice.

"Mung's biggest failure -- the

Won-ton b*mb..."

Mung daal: quick.

Now's our chance.

Chowder: I love chances.

[ Poof! ]

[ Cre-e-e-e-ak! ]

Whoo-hoo!

We did it!

We're in the entertaining

Thought bubble, mung.

Mung daal: it's not just a

Thought bubble, chowder.

We're back in time.

Chowder: well, wherever we

Are, we landed in slapioca

Pudding.

[ Slap! Slap! Slap! Slap! ]

Mung daal: there! It's time!

Now, remember what I told you.

Chowder: never eat barbed

Wire.

Mung daal: good.

And?

Chowder: and switch these

Tasty, good won-ton bombs with

The bad ones.

Mung daal: good.

And one more very impor--

Chowder: yeah, yeah, yeah.

[ Gasps ]

Look, mung!

It's you as a kid!

Young mung daal: I'll do it,

Master lo mein.

Chowder: you were so green.

So green.

Mung daal: chowder! No!

Chowder: but he's you as a

Kid.

[ Spookily ] my name's chowder.

I know you in the future.

Future...

Mung daal: chowder!

Chowder: future...

Future...

[ Normal voice ] future!

Mung daal: no, chowder,

That's not okay!

Chowder: but don't you want

To meet yourself as a kid?

Mung daal: no, no.

If I met my past self, it could

Unravel the entire space-time

Continuum.

Chowder: but what does the

Space-kind condominium have to

Do with --

[ Rattle! ]

Wait a minute.

What are we talking about again?

Mung daal: chowder, listen

Very carefully.

If we alter anything here in the

Past, it would change our

Reality in the present.

Chowder: that's a relief.

'Cause I like presents.

I also like kangaroos and circus

Tents.

Young mung daal: ladies,

Ladies, ladies.

Chowder: we switch the

Won-ton bombs now, captain mung?

Mung daal: no, not yet, boy.

Young mung daal: ladies,

Ladies, ladies.

Chowder: how about now,

Captain?

Mung daal: no.

Stop calling me "captain."

Chowder: now?

Mung daal: no!

Okay, now!!

Do what I told you!! Go!!

Chowder: label! Label!

Label! Label, label! Label!

Label! Label!

Hey, hey, look at me!

Look at me!

What am i?

A rabbit? A baby hippo?

Come on, people!

Purple fur, bunny-like ears, a

Striped tail.

Somebody label me before it's

Too late!

This is so uncomfortable.

Mung daal: okay, chowder!

We're good!

Chowder: that is all.

Young mung, where is that

Order?!

Young mung daal: here it is,

Master lo mein.

[ Fireworks hissing ]

Oooooh!

[ Sloop! ]

[ Both groaning ]

[ Giggles ]

[ Boing! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Chomping ]

Ooooh!

These are the best won-ton bombs

I have ever had.

Both: oooh! The best?

Congratulations, young mung.

[ Women cheering ]

Thank you. Thank you.

Come again.

[ Poof! ]

And that is the story of the

Greatest chef who ever lived --

Mung daal!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Mung daal: people, people,

People...

And giant, hairy troll...

Let's remember, I couldn't have

Done it without chowder.

Chowder: gee.

And I couldn't have done it

Without young mung.

How do you like it here in the

Future, young mung?

Young mung daal: aah!

What's that thing?!

Mung daal: remember I said

Not to touch the past or else

The...

Well, it was fun while it

Lasted.

[ Rumble! Rumble! ]

Chowder: what do you want to

Be when you grow up?

[ Rip! ]

Mung daal: hmm...

Too gentlemanly.

Too...

Yuck.

Maybe...

No, no. Too grandpa.

Gotta think spicy!

Definitely not.

Maybe that first one was the

Best.

Chowder, can I have that one

Again?

Chowder: which one was that?

Mung daal: never mind.