12x24 - The Last One Out

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

-Okay, time to go. -Bye, Dad.

-Bye, sweetie. -Bye, Mom.

Oh, you could still come with us if you want to.

We don't want to. We're having pizza.

We have to go play gymnastics

with Bobby on Mommy and Daddy's bed.

Alright, sure.

We'll take care of them.

Yeah, don't worry about anything.

-Julie, we need another ref. -Okay.

You do have the phone number of the restaurant?

Yeah, right by the phone in the kitchen.

Have a good time.

Honey, we'll be home before they're asleep.

I just hate leaving them tonight.

They should be with us.

Well, they're delighted to be rid of us.

I guess I'm... I'm just sentimental.

You know, I told Betsy we were gonna go

to a nice restaurant

and she said, "Oh, you mean where grown-ups sit around

and talk a lot before the food comes?"

Trust me.

It's just not their idea of a good time.

Okay, we're gonna have to take a lot of pictures

so they can see what their mom and dad look like

at the rehearsal dinner.

-Right. Let's go, come on. -Okay.

I almost got caught

with that fidelity project report.

What did you do with it?

Dumped it behind a copier down at research.

When those lackeys go home, I'll retrieve it.

Well, if there's no further business

this meeting is adjourned.

-Hi. -Hi.

-[Mack] Ready? -[Linda] Hi, Mack.

Val and Gary are here already?

They're gonna meet us in the lobby.

I promised Michael we'd get him before we left.

Alright. Good. I'll go out and say hi to Paige.

Meet you in the lobby in five minutes.

-Okay. -Five minutes.

Okay.

I think you need to give the board members

a little more leeway in deciding

some of the organization of priorities.

I really don't care.

Never mind.

No, please. Say what's on your mind.

What is it with you? What moves you?

What do you want out of life?

Do you want to talk philosophy?

You are a hateful person.

That's it.

To hell with theory.

Let's just get down to the brass tacks.

You think people will just put up with you

and not notice your duplicity, your hypocrisy.

[chuckles]

I think it would be fun to be half as malevolent

as you think I am.

[Karen] Malevolent gives you too much credit.

You're just plain manipulative.

You call it manipulative. I call it determined.

I call it goal-oriented. Like you.

Don't compare yourself to me.

-Why not? -I have standards.

-So do I. -Very low ones.

Oh, I see. You are talking about business?

No, you don't care or know

how I climb the corporate ladder.

Your problem is you're still upset

because both of your sons fell in love with me.

You took advantage of them.

Well, if I did, whose fault is that?

It takes two to tango.

Or don't you imagine they got anything from me

but psychic abuse?

And if that's true, then your sons are

in sorry shape for putting up with it.

Honest people don't always recognize dishonesty.

They can be taken advantage of for a while.

Still, I would rather my sons be a little naive.

You know, somehow

it's my fault that your sons are naive

and somehow I've become mythically evil in your mind.

But exactly how wicked can I be

if both of your sons fell in love with me?

What does that say about them?

Either they like strong-willed women like me

like you...

or they do anything

including marry someone as awful as you think I am

to get out from under your thumb.

We have 15 minutes to make that movie.

-I'm ready in two. Yeah. -Okay.

-Hi, Katie. -Oh, hi.

-How's your arm? -It's alright.

Just quit throbbing

which I guess is considered to be progress.

-That's good. -Yeah.

-Hey, great suit. -What does that mean?

Great suit? What do you think it means?

It means you don't think I can survive

in this hothouse atmosphere that you thrive in.

How do you manage to stand up

with such a chip on your shoulder?

You can deny it, but I'm right.

In your mind, you'll always be right.

-Hi. -Mack.

-How are you doing? Hi. -Hi.

-How's your hand? -It's alright.

Good.

Well, anyone you wanna introduce me?

Not me.

Mack MacKenzie is Paige's father.

-Hi. -Hi.

Steve Brewer, Paige's nemesis.

Oh.

[sighs] Nice suit.

-Ooh. -[chuckles] Oh.

[Claudia thinking] What the heck are you doing here?

Anne, I told you you didn't have to bother

attending any of the board meetings.

[Anne thinking] How else can I keep an eye on you?

I, I take my fiduciary responsibility

seriously.

As all our trustees do.

[Claudia thinking] You can't even spell fiduciary.

F-I-D-U-C-I-A-R-Y.

And I have an idea or two of my own

I'd like to contribute.

[thinking] You haven't had an idea since you were twelve.

Why don't you submit them in writing

and I'll make sure they get the board's full attention.

Well, I was hoping to take advantage

of our special rapport.

[Claudia thinking] Don't get greedy.

You already draw a salary

that's a bit difficult to justify

to the trustees.

[Anne thinking] Cheapskate.

But I wasn't thinking of myself.

It's another wonderful cause for the foundation funds.

[Claudia thinking] Let me guess.

The Nick and Anne Relief Fund

for six foot-four Italian lovers.

-Is this a non-profit group? -Yes.

[Anne thinking] If you mean, "Are we broke?"

And I'd love to hear your thoughts on the proposal.

[Claudia] You don't really wanna know what I'm thinking.

I'll give it my fullest attention.

Thank you.

Paige.

Who is that... You know, the guy?

Some jerk who is so full of himself

he doesn't have room for food.

Oh, why do you like him so much?

-I don't. -[laughs] Well, I knew that.

I was only kidding.

So what are you doing here?

I came in here to see how my lovely

wonderful, darling, intelligent, friendly daughter's doing.

-How are you doing? -I'm fine.

-Why are you upset? -Ooh, I'm not upset.

Ah, come on, I can see that.

Well...

People like Steve just get to me sometimes.

Condescending, self-righteous, smug.

-For no reason. -A rebel without a cause, eh?

Nah, he has got a dozen of causes.

His big kick is that the corporate world stinks.

Money is beneath him and the desire for anything

more than the clothes on his back

and three meals a day is rampant materialism

which ruins the environment.

I don't know how Greg puts up with it.

Greg hired him?

Well, who else is gonna hire him?

-Well, he's his nephew. -That's his nephew?

[chuckles] Oh.

[knocks on door] Ready?

Well, I just got a couple more things to finish up.

Do you wanna have a seat?

Oh.

Okay, what are you doing?

Is this gonna take long?

Fifteen... Wait.

Don't you get a lot of glare on that screen?

No, it's fine.

With all these lights?

Do you have a jacket for dinner?

Of course.

Oh.

Nice.

[murmuring] If you can afford it.

What?

I said it was nice.

Yeah.

Yeah. Linda help me pick that out.

Oh.

Do you think we missed them?

No.

If they're not here in about 15 minutes

I'll call the restaurant or go by.

It's just a couple blocks away.

What are they like?

Did you forget? You don't know Gary and Val?

Everybody says they're made for each other.

Charlotte?

Scott?

-I thought that was you. -Goodness.

Scott, this is Frank. Frank, this is Scott.

-Pleased to meet you, Frank. -How are you doing?

Charlotte and I go way back.

-Oh, you're looking great. -Thank you.

What are you doing?

Well, still plugging away at the First National.

Finally made it to executive VP.

Oh, that's great. Congratulations.

[Scott] That's no big deal

except I like my new offices

and I like eating in the executive dining room.

[Charlotte and Scott laugh]

I can't believe

they don't install more elevators here.

Can't get one when you need one.

They really should fix these things, move faster.

-How long have you been waiting? -Ten minutes.

A bunch of us are going for Thai food.

I'll pass. I forgot to set my VCR.

I got to see what Corbin Bernsen is wearing tonight.

I never watched that show. I'm a news hound.

News my foot. You're crazy about Diane Sawyer.

[Bob] She's very intelligent.

[Mort] Right. You're in love with her mind.

-[Bob] I am. -[Mort laughs]

Well, I see that the whole family's here.

-Should I be threatened? -Yes.

Excuse me, Mr. Sumner.

[tense music]

-Out. -It's okay. She's on our side.

Out.

And if you're not satisfied with your bank, give us a try.

I'll keep in mind.

-Bye. -Bye.

So you were saying about Val and Gary.

I was saying they're here.

-Hi, Frank. -Hi.

[whistle blowing]

[man 1] Ladies and gentlemen, clear the lobby.

Clear the lobby, please.

Ladies and gentlemen please clear the lobby.

What's that?

Folks, can I have your attention, please?

There's no reason to panic.

The elevators have been temporarily disengaged.

But the safety features designed into this building are intact.

[Mort] Come on, let's use the stairs.

I'm sorry to say it.

Stairwells have been sealed off as a precaution

to facilitate movement of emergency equipment.

Look, we'll begin evacuation procedures

in about 15 or 20 minutes.

[woman 1] I can't believe this.

Do we get overtime for this?

It's a very localized fire on the third floor.

It was contained before it spread

beyond one room.

And you thought they were after me?

Well, as a routine precaution

we were preparing to evacuate by helicopter.

Obviously, it's not necessary now.

[man 1] No one is in any danger, folks

with the evacuation, proceed in an orderly fashion

you're gonna have to cooperate.

Security personnel will be allowed

to enter the building.

Look, folks, this is just a temporary delay, okay?

Why don't you take a moment to call your family and friends

and let them know you're in no danger?

We use your phone. Call the kids.

Yeah, I've to call them.

The guard said you needed to see me.

Well, as long as we're going to be stuck here

for a couple of hours, I figure...

They said we'd be evacuating in 15 to 20 minutes.

Yeah, but that's just what they tell the masses

so they don't panic.

We've got a couple of hours at least on our hands.

So I broke out my earthquake supply kit

in which I had this beautiful bottle

of Beaujolais and that tin of Pate.

-No caviar. -Caviar?

Who puts caviar in an earthquake supply kit?

-[wine gurgling] -That has to be refrigerated.

Here's to being trapped in a building

with a beautiful woman.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe our rehearsal dinners

are jinxed?

Gary, don't even suggest that.

Dave said there's absolutely no danger

that they're gonna start evacuating the building

in a few minutes.

Oh, good.

See, everything's fine. We are not jinxed.

Who's Dave?

Oh, well, he's the security chief.

He's an old friend.

What happened?

Oh, Dave said some electrical circuit overheated

and the automatic safety system that isolates each floor

kicked in.

Something like that.

Well, there's no reason, you know

for all of us to wait around out here.

Oh, it's no trouble.

[Val] One of the two of you just

at least go on to the restaurant

and you'd be comfortable.

That's a good idea, just tell them

we'll be a little bit late and hold the table.

Yeah, we'll bring Karen and Mack over

just as soon as they get out.

You sure you don't mind?

-Not at all. -No. Go ahead.

-Okay, we'll see you there. -Okay.

-Okay. Bye-bye. -Okay.

-[helicopter whirring] -[siren blaring]

[sighs]

Sure it's getting chilly out here.

Sorry, dear.

Why don't you go ahead? I'm staying.

Gary.

It's not exactly the solution that I had in mind.

Oh.

-How about this? -Better.

Much better.

-[Julie laughs] -Yeah, no problem. Alright.

Okay, bye.

They're gonna be home late.

-[kids cheering] -[doorbell ringing]

Pizza is here.

-[Betsy] Yeah, pizza. -[Jason] Pizza.

Pizza!

Okay, there's no danger.

We'll be out of here in a little while.

I know.

Why so glum?

-I'm a lousy mother. -Oh, the worst.

-Don't tease. -What did you do?

I raised two sons who can be taken advantage of.

Let me guess, you had it out with Linda today?

I must have done something wrong

if both my sons fell in love with such a...

-Such a... -A person?

That kind of person.

Yeah, but you did some things right too.

Because neither of them is with her anymore.

They both wised up.

But Mack, I just hated that they had to get hurt.

Why can't good people just fall in love with other good people?

-Hey. -Alright.

Sometimes it happens.

But why couldn't it happen to my sons?

It will. They both drew the line with Linda.

-Have a little faith. -Oh, I know.

I know. I should. I...

What's the expression? Cut the apron strings.

I hate that expression.

Michael is not tied

to your apron strings, believe me.

But sometimes I act as if he is.

It must be, I don't know, instinctive.

I was in his office not more than two minutes

when you should have heard what was falling out of my mouth

from the glare on his computer to the cost of his jacket.

If I were his age and I had a mother like that

I'd go crazy.

I did have a mother like that.

-You are very free with advice. -See, I told you.

-But it's good advice. -Yes, I mean, thank you.

-Generally speaking. -Because I love him.

-I know. -And I want what's best for him.

-I know. -But I've got to trust him.

Because he's grown

into such a nice decent human being.

He has.

But I can't make choices for him.

That's true.

I'm not gonna give him advice anymore.

-That's a bit extreme. -No, I mean it, Mack.

I've made up my mind.

He's gotta make his own decisions.

Under no circumstances

will I ever give him advice again.

-Unless he asks it. -Even if he asks for it.

[doleful music]

No more... advice.

Have you had enough?

[Greg laughs]

Give me a break, will you?

A guy of my age deserves a little turnaround time.

I was talking about the wine.

Oh, the wine. Yes, yes, yes.

[coughs] Actually I'm on a strict diet

in relation to wine.

So I think it's time for me to switch to Scotch.

And I will go out and cheer up the troops.

You're gonna go out there dressed like that?

Good heavens. No, woman.

I think... I'll wear your dress.

[Linda laughs]

♪ I'll do the cookin' honey ♪

♪ I'll pay the rent ♪

♪ I know I've done you wrong ♪♪

Shh.

[Gary laughs]

-Gary. -What?

-I got an idea. -"I got an idea"?

-You don't like my singing? -No, another idea.

What?

What?

-Where are we going? -We're gonna go over here.

-Come on. Where are we going? -Here.

[Val] Come here. I will show you.

-What are you doing? -Wait a minute. Just a minute.

-Okay? -Val...

Mm-hmm.

What are you doing?

Honey, i-isn't this k-kind of risky?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Anne] Page 24, item number 11B. Lavender.

Yes, same size.

Page 27, item number 6A.

No, I'm afraid I'll have to settle for the sterling.

Pierced.

And then page 28

item number 8A.

Mother, whose credit card are you using?

[whispering] Shh. I'm on the phone.

-Same size. -Mother.

[Anne] Would you shush?

[laughs] No, not you.

Excuse me.

Whose credit card are you using?

That is an insulting question.

-Cancel it. -I will not.

I said cancel it.

Would you hold on a minute, please?

-Hello? -Mother.

[Anne] Hello?

Well, I've been disconnected. Does that make you happy?

Call them back and cancel the order.

No, it occurs to me that in your mood

maybe you should eat something.

I'm not paying for it.

You're gonna send it all back.

-See? -Mm-hmm.

-I have a good idea. -Yeah.

-Listen, I have a better idea. -What?

-Let's cancel the dinner. -[Val squeals]

-[Val squeals] -What is that?

-[Gary laughs] -[Val] Gary...

Okay, boys and girls, let's break it up.

Break it up. Come on.

There's a time and place for everything

and this isn't either the time or the place.

Now let's take it back home.

Okay, it's okay because we are getting...

Actually, we've already been married.

I'm not interested

in your life story, boys and girls.

You are old enough to know better.

And get on home or you will be cited

for trespassing.

You see, we were just waiting for some friends.

-[Gary] We'll wait. -Wait somewhere else.

-Goodnight. -[Gary] Goodnight.

[Val] Right here. Ow!

-[Gary] Come here. -[Val] What?

-Goodnight. -Yeah.

Goodnight.

Security says that they think it was just an equipment fail.

You don't expect them to tell us the truth, do you?

Guys are down at research

probably overloaded the circuits

with their coffee machines.

Well, at least nobody was hurt.

Not hurt? Not hurt?

You call preventing me from seeing

my favorite TV show not being hurt?

Come on.

[man 2] Three cards for you.

[knocks on door] Greggie?

[tense music]

Greggie. Greggie...

Greg isn't here.

I see.

Shall I tell him you're looking for him?

No, no.

I'll find him.

[whispering] Damn it.

Oh.

Julie, it's your turn.

-Oh, somebody play for me. -I will.

[Meg and Bobby] I will.

I will because it's toothbrushing time.

-You, you and you. -No.

-No? No? Did I hear no? -Yes.

Well, yes, that's more like it. That's what I wanna hear.

I mean no. No.

You know, this can't be right because, you know

I think I'm hearing "no" but I must be hearing "yes"

because if I hear a "no", there's not gonna be

any bedtime story.

I mean, yes.

[all kids] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Julie] Okay, bye.

Jason, Mack said that they still might not be home

for a couple of hours, so we should put the kids

to bed.

Well, I can take care of it. I mean, you can go on now.

No, I'm not going anywhere.

I thought you and Horace were going out.

Well, we're not.

Oh well, why? Why not?

I don't know. Horace is a jerk.

I'm sorry, I guess.

See, I don't want you to think that I'm the kind of guy...

-I'm not a possessive man. -Good.

No, that's not me.

I don't talk like that and I don't think like that.

So when I say something like, "You know a lot of men"

I don't mean it that way.

-Frank... -No... I...

It's not a complaint, it's more like admiration.

I've been married a long time.

The shoe could be on the other foot

just as easily.

I could know everybody and you could be me.

Frank, I don't know that many men.

It didn't come out right, did it?

Okay.

I'm trying to say I'm having fun.

This is very interesting and I think I can handle it.

I'm also amazed

that you would even consider going out with me.

Frank, don't sell yourself short.

And don't make me into something I'm not.

When you're married, you don't date.

Now, I haven't been married in a long time, so--

That's it.

That's what I've been trying to say all this time.

[laughs] Thanks.

[piano music]

Why would you defend Paige Matheson?

I'm not defending her, I just said

she's not the worst person on earth.

There's a ringing endorsement.

-I like her, okay? -I worry about your judgment.

Do you know what she's been through

the last couple of years?

Watching the man she loves marry another woman

then being left at the altar?

-[Paige] Don't defend Steve. -I'm not defending Steve.

I don't even know the guy.

From what you tell me about him

the guy's obnoxious.

So why are we even talking about him?

We are not talking about him.

I'm talking about you.

Would it be unreasonable to suggest

that somehow she brought all this on herself?

Nay, that you may even deserve that kind of treatment?

Nay? You said nay?

I was waxing eloquent.

Would it be unreasonable to suggest

that the real reason you say you hate her

is because deep down inside your fades

you really might like all this corporate stuff?

What a weird interpretation of my simple dislike

for the woman and...

Everything he stands for.

[Mack] Which is?

He's arrogant, he's critical, he's condescending.

-He's a snob. -Sounds like his uncle.

[Paige] He's also self-righteous.

-Greg is not self-righteous. -[Mack] He has no reason to be.

You have as much whatever vanity as you think she has.

No, you drive your car

with every bit as much pride as she drives hers.

Come on, I don't care about cars.

And you drive one to prove it.

It is as important to you that yours is dented

as it is to her that hers is not.

You know, I wouldn't even put it past you

to put dents in your van.

Oh, don't read so much into this.

He bothers me, alright?

Well, maybe it's because in some way you think

uh, you're embarrassed living the way you live

spending the money you spend.

No.

Maybe you're afraid

you're living life the wrong way.

Maybe you're afraid that when you turn 65

you realize the way you lived your life was not right.

I don't think that way.

Maybe he makes you think that way.

[Kate] She makes you afraid

that after a lifetime of damning rich people

you're gonna find out that some of them are human

and you might even enjoy driving a nice car

having a lot of money and dating a beautiful woman.

[Michael] People should be trapped in buildings more often.

It makes you think, you know, about what's important to you.

You know, it's one of those "get your priorities straight" times

like you always used to say.

That I always used to say that?

Well, maybe not those exact words

but you always told us to decide what's important

and then go after it.

It's good advice.

Speaking of which

I've been thinking about how I act on the job.

Am I aggressive enough?

Aggressive?

Linda says that it's not enough to do a good job.

You have to let people know you did it.

Should I be promoting myself more?

I...

really can't say.

[Michael] I'll tell you what else.

I'm wondering if I didn't make a big mistake

breaking up with Linda.

-[scoffs] -What?

Mmm.

Only time will tell.

It doesn't help much.

That's all I can say.

Well, I think growing up doesn't mean just

hanging on to your standards and your ideals.

I think it also means compromising

and accepting the fact that you can't have things

your way all the time.

I'm starting to wonder

if I shouldn't apologize to Linda

and see if she wants to get back together.

-What do you think? -I think...

It's up to you.

Thanks a lot, mom.

[chuckles]

Michael.

[emotive music]

I can't tell you how to live your life.

You're right.

[music continues]

[siren blaring]

Oh.

King of the castle.

How's the president of my fan club?

Fine, thank you.

How's the little one?

[laughs] Oh...

She's not so little anymore.

[helicopter whirring]

I bet, huh?

She's just getting over a cold.

You know

I think this year she's had a cold

more often than she hasn't.

She has a new friend in preschool.

Jamie. He's not my favorite.

You know, I hope that's not a sign of things to come.

She's got a tooth that is wiggling.

Ready to fall out.

Talks a blue streak

and we're talking about piano lessons

and Carnegie Hall.

Tooth fairy.

Do you remember that time

your mother found us in the garage?

[laughing] Oh, God!

Please don't remind me.

What was it you said? We were just looking for what?

That we were looking for a pencil sharpener.

[laughs] Pencil...

That's the only thing I can think of.

Under the circumstances, I considered it brilliant ad lib.

The question is that you didn't come up

with anything.

Well, I was...

[Val and Gary laugh]

And then Mama said

"You'll have better luck finding it, sweet pea

if you turn the light on."

[Val and Gary laugh]

Oh.

[Gary laughs]

-Gary. -Huh?

[sighs] You know what you said

about our rehearsal dinners being jinxed?

Don't worry about that.

This has been kind of fun.

And we haven't gotten to the dinner yet.

Yeah, but think about it. You're right.

Every time we wait

something goes wrong, we don't get together.

Every time we put it off, we have some kind of delay

something happens and we don't get married.

It's like a comedy.

It's more like a soap opera.

So let's just skip the dinner.

What about our guests? What do you mean?

Well, let them eat.

Gary, I don't wanna wait anymore.

Let's get married now. Tonight.

As soon as we can find somebody to perform the ceremony.

-Tonight? -Yeah.

Gary, we don't need a big gathering, we don't...

We don't need anybody else there.

It's always just been the two of us together anyway.

[emotional music]

Even when we weren't together.

We've certainly been through for better

or for worse this year.

Family?

So why wait, Gary?

Let's just do it.

I love you so much.

[music continues]

-[Val] Let's get married. -Oh.

I do love you.

[Val] I love you too.

[knock on door]

Frank is still at the restaurant

and he says that Gary and Val are waiting.

What are you doing?

I'm moving out.

-Moving out? As in... -Quitting.

Did Linda talk you into this?

I never talked to Linda.

I thought you said...

[Michael] So did I.

In fact, I did say, "Hi, Linda"

but after that, all I could think was

I never heard an honest word come from this person's mouth

so why am I talking to her?

I don't know why it took so long to hit me.

It's no great insight really, it's just the truth.

Then I started thinking, what else am I missing?

You know, overlooking.

-Sounds pretty corny, right? -Not to me.

Well, even if it does

one thing led to another

and I couldn't figure out why I was here either.

-What are you gonna do? -I don't know.

I'm gonna take some time off, read.

I got a stack of books by my bed

that keeps getting bigger.

I do know that I'm not gonna work here

and I'm not gonna see Linda again.

Can you do me a big favor?

What?

Let me skip this rehearsal dinner.

[knock on door]

[emotional music]

Mmm. I don't...

-Oh, what? What is it? -They're finally evacuating.

They're starting with the lower floors.

[sighs]

Great. Thanks for telling me.

[groans]

I wanted to tell you something.

I-I...

I wanted to apologize.

Oh, you don't have to.

I'd like to.

And also to explain especially about that...

That little diatribe in the elevator.

If that was a little one, I'd hate to hear a big one.

I'm sorry I said what I said.

As I recall you

you accused me of being beautiful.

Well, I behaved badly.

[music continues]

Umm...

Because I was...

Because I was nervous.

Nervous?

I like driving my van.

[laughs] You what?

I mean, I'm not doing it...

It's not like I'm making a statement or anything.

I-I really like it. It's big. It's roomy.

It's, you know, it's so trash

I can park it anyway, I really like it.

[Paige laughs]

[laughing] You like driving your van?

-Any news? -Yeah.

They're starting to evacuate the building.

Oh, thank heavens. I am asleep on my feet.

-Frank? -Monica?

-Is that you? -Yeah.

-How are you doing? -I'm fine.

But aren't you a sight for sore eyes?

[Monica] Look at you.

It's been such a long time no see

I was starting to get offended.

Oh, excuse me.

Charlotte, Monica. Monica, Charlotte.

-Hi. -Hi, Charlotte.

You're gonna call me now, right, Frank?

Oh, yeah, I will.

Break that promise and you break this heart.

[Frank and Monica laugh]

-Bye, honey. -Bye.

-Bye Charlotte. -Bye.

[piano music]

-Who was that? -Ah...

Just a friend from law school.

She's a lawyer?

Uh-huh.

You know, I think I should go call the kids

see how they're doing.

-I'll be right back. -Okay.

That was the performance of a lifetime.

She bought it? Oh, good.

[Frank laughs]

And I owe you a very expensive dinner.

-Hi, honey. -Oh, hi, sweetie.

This is a friend of mine, Frank Williams.

How are you doing? Nice to meet you.

-Hi. -I got to get back to my date.

My date's waiting.

Bye, Frank.

-Why was he giving you money? -It's a long story, sweetie.

Well, they are finally all asleep.

They've finished the dishes.

-Who-- -So--

[laughs]

Who called?

Karen.

They started evacuating the building.

Oh, good.

What were you saying?

So what's up with Horace?

I don't know.

Why are most guys such jerks?

I'm not most guys.

Boy, oh, boy! You...

You're far away over there.

[romantic music]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

I know you probably couldn't tell, but...

I am not-not being a jerk at all.

-I don't have much experience. -Oh, like I do.

[music continues]

[Mort] I missed it. I missed it.

The TV's were working in the commissary kitchen.

-Why didn't you tell me? -I tried to. Where were you?

I was looking for a TV. What did Corbin Bernsen wear?

I don't know. I was watching Diane.

When they find a flunky who's responsible for this

I'm not just gonna have them fired.

They're gonna be tortured and humiliated.

-Mort. -What?

They did find the problem.

Somebody threw some paper

behind a copy machine down in research

and it blocked the vent and overheated.

Specifically a copy of the Fidelity project report.

Believe anybody be that careless?

[Claudia thinking] You must be desperate for money

to try something like this.

-This is a wonderful project. -Thank you.

[Anne thinking] She has something up her sleeve.

I see no problem in getting it funded.

Wow, when can I get the money?

[Claudia thinking] When hell freezes over.

Well, we can write you a check

as soon as the paperwork is in order.

The paperwork?

I'd write it myself in a minute

if it were up to me, but my hands are tied

procedurally speaking.

Yeah, you see, Anne...

you just joined the board.

We wanna avoid any hint of impropriety

or anything that could draw attention

to our special relationship.

Well, what's the procedure?

[thinking] She's gonna make me jump through hoops.

[thinking] Big, big hoops.

Well, first our legal department will go over the contract...

-with your lawyers. -Of course.

Well, then we run it past the preliminary review staff

and I'll make sure that report is favorable

and then it goes to the full board

for this first reading.

When will that be?

[Claudia thinking] Never if I can help it.

September.

[thinking] That late?

That soon?

If it's humanly possible.

I'll try and squeeze it into the August meeting.

Whoops.

We don't have a meeting in August, do we?

So, well, rest assured.

I will try and get this on the agenda sooner.

And of course, I will give it

my strongest personal endorsement.

[Claudia thinking] This way you'll never see a penny.

[Anne thinking] This way I'll never see a penny.

-Thank you very much, Claudia. -The pleasure was all mine.

[Claudia thinking] What did you do with all your money?

It's hard being poor.

[tense music]

[chuckles]

Where you going? It's late. Spend the night.

No.

Beats commuting.

Saves on gas.

Cuts back on air pollution.

Lessens the greenhouse effect.

Come on, do your bit for the environment.

Stick around.

I thought I could handle this, but I can't.

-Handle what? -Seeing you.

I think you're handling it very well.

[sighs] Oh, Mr. Sumner.

Doubt rears its ugly head, hmm?

It was okay for me to sleep with you because...

Well, I didn't like you very much.

Everything was pretty cut and dry.

But I found out that I do like you.

The things are getting out of hand.

Wait a minute.

You mean you slept with me because you didn't like me

but now that you like me, you can't sleep with me?

More or less.

Well, if that made sense to me, I'd argue against it.

But it doesn't, so I won't.

Look, I enjoy your company and your considerable assets.

I'm a lousy husband but I'm a heck of a guy

to hang out with, so...

Why don't we just make it easy on each other

and you move out to the ranch?

[endearing music]

-What was that for? -Does there have to be a reason?

Come on, let's go. Everybody's gone.

Good, because I'm not finished.

[Karen laughs]

Come on. Let's go.

Mack, gonna fall.

I'm gonna be very worried about this.

[music continues]

Do you, Valene

take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband

for better or worse, for richer, for poorer

in sickness and in health, until you are parted by death?

[Val laughs]

I do.

[man 3] And do you, Gary take this woman

to be your lawfully wedded wife

for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer

in sickness and in health, until you are parted by death?

-[chuckling] I do. -[Val laughs]

[man 2] Well, then, by the authority invested in me

by the state of California

I pronounce you husband and wife.

-[both laugh] -[man 2] You may kiss the bride.

[Val and Gary laugh]

[theme music]