12x09 - A Holiday in Handcuffs

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on "Below Deck"...

-Rainbeau, be careful.
-Don’t ----ing lie.

Lazy, wannabe famous, only
to be here on TV dumb [bleep].

Rainbeau b*tch.

You beat me to the
punch with Solene, right?

Stille.

It’s triangle between
Scottish, Jess, and Solene,

but I really hope
I don’t have to choose.

We have two days off.

-What?
-Dude!

Stop!

Carnival, here we come!

This is the type of
carnival where everyone

kisses each other.

-Yes!
-That’s what I’m...

That’s what you’re about.

Ah! What is that?

It’s definitely made me aware
that I wouldn’t trust him.

There’s nobody else
I want to kiss,

I just want to kiss you.

Ow, ow!

I love masala curry, dude.

Mmm.

I don’t know.
We were kissing.

I haven’t been with another
g*y girl for so long,

but I’m having
a good time with Jess.

I’m really surprised
how everything changed

so ----ing quickly.

Like, it’s crazy.

Cool.

Don’t be awkward, now.

I’m not awkward.

-You’re so awkward.
-I’m not awkward.

You’re so awkward.

I think I should change my drink
because this is my third,

because this is my third,
and I’m not even tipsy.

Come, me and you.

I’ve got to say
something to you.

I’m listening to you.

Umm... um...

Okay, I thought
we were going good,

but I felt horrible

when you and Jess went
and did your thing,

and I’m taking my name
out of the race.

Like, I’m going to
stop trying to kiss you,

I’m going to stop
trying to cuddle.

I definitely am a mummy’s boy.

She’s definitely the one
that I turn to

talking my problems.

My mum’s always been quite lax.

Just do what you want, deal
with the consequences later.

It’s always the advice.

Stop being a ----ing p*ssy.

Enough of your sh--.
Get on with it.

So, we move on and
you live your life.

Shake hands.
Good game. Good game.

Guys, no offense to the wood
that’s holding this up,

but we might crack it.

Look at these rusty old chains.
They ain’t giving out.

I wanted to try,
but I think my eyes

were bigger than my stomach.

-Damo!
-Oh, no, you’ve done it, Tony.

I ----ing feel like
I should do it.

Hey, I’ll have a rib.

-Ooh la la.
-Grub, grub, grub.

Get it in ya.

How was your screaming match
with Fraser last night?

Fraser and I, sometimes, we need
to put everything on the table

and I think the best way
to keep a relation...

like a friendship
like this, you know?

I feel good, you know?

I feel like me and Fraser,
we broke the tension.

Chef, yelling about
the food,

then slammed the door,
shut the curtain.

He’s throwing a real tantrum.

[bleep]

I didn’t get you fired.

I never say you did.

Yes, but that’s
what you were saying.

-You don’t forget.
-I tried to have a conversation.

Guess what?
Forget this.

With no sunshine,
there’s no rainbows.

Tell me what’s happened
with your girls today.

And you don’t like that?

Okay.

Sounds bad, like,
you know, she like me?

Yeah.

I don’t like this feeling.

So what are you going to do?

-Eh...
-Eh...

Water.
I’m doing water.

I think we should head out
in about 30 minutes

if you guys are happy with that.

-Oh, yeah.
-Copy.

Yeah?

I want to tell you
that I’m in love with you.

And I don’t want you kissing
Jess or Stille anymore.

Just me.

Guys, I would
really appreciate it

if we could all factor in a tip
for our gorgeous waitress.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

They’re kissing, they’re
kissing, they’re kissing.

Everybody, bro.

It sucks to be on the other
end of this sh--.

Like, what the [bleep].

He more than anybody
was quite aware

that I was a bit ticked off
about the whole situation.

These people are ----ed.

These poor other
tourists beside them

are trying to have a good day.

And meanwhile, they’ve
got a porn sh**t.

I think they’re made
for each other.

No, no, no.

I really hope that
all goes to you

because you deserve that.

-Thank you very much.
-Thank you, sweetheart.

Guys, let’s go back
to our gorgeous villa.

Thank you guys, so much.

All right, Barbara,
I’m with you.

All right, let’s go
to the villa, guys.

Stille, you come
sit with me.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.

-Oh, my God.
-Yeah.

-You all right, brother?
-Yeah, I’m good. How are you?

Why are you running
away from me?

I’m not running away from you.

Why are you running
away from me?

I’m not running away.
I’m running to get a drink.

Oh. Am I a bad friend?
Probably.

I kissed Solene.
I don’t regret it,

but I know that I shouldn’t
have done it.

But that being said,
would Kyle in this situation

do anything different to me?

I don’t think so.

Right now, I’m in a
selfish period of my life,

so I do sh--ty things like
patch my mate’s ex-misses,

even though I know
it’s going to upset him.

I’m coming.

Got you.

Oh, my God.

It is so hot.

Eh...

I’m not doing it anymore.

I’m done with Jess.

[laughing]

Coming up...

This is kind of the first
time I’m, like, exploring.

I look like a bit of
a tosser right now,

And I’m okay with that.

Oh...

They were both in the shower.

Like, we were
genuinely chatting.

[laughing]

Boing.

Oh, yes, yes.

Me telling Barbara
I just wanted to kiss her

was in that moment.

I’ve been in, like,
three serious relationships

since the age of 17,
since I came out.

This is kind of the first time
I’m, like, exploring.

I want to grow.
I want to experiment.

I want to feel these things.

I mean, I look like a bit
of a tosser right now,

and I’m okay with that.

Plan of attack is
eat food and go to sleep.

Uh-huh.

Are you sure?

I don’t want to say goodbye
to this view.

I never want to leave here.

Are you coming to dinner?

My shower was so...

You’re having a very
interesting shower.

I mean, I need someone
to wash my back.

Oh, look at Rainbeau.

-[whistles]
-Oh!

Get some sun.

I roasted like a chicken.

Oh, my God.
I’m ready for the party.

Put seasoning.
That’s amazing.

Potato, potato, potato.

You want smashed potato?

You’re gonna have a smash.

I’m avoiding, Jess like,

I don’t even really want
to be her friend now.

What do I have to say?

All right, ladies and gentlemen,
dinner is ready!

[shouting]

Merci, Cheffy.

Whoa, chef, wow.

Big cheers to everyone
who cooked for us this evening.

One day to bring us together.
Two days to tear it all apart.

It’s really good, guys.

-Guys.
-I’m eating.

They were both in the shower.

We were just,
like, chatting bull.

Like, nothing was happening,
we were literally just singing.

Oh, no, no, no.

Like, we were
genuinely chatting bull.

So-so is my kryptonite.

I’m attracted to her.

I know we both have
feelings for each other,

and I love the excitement
that I have with her.

You’re so addicted
to the good parts.

Keeps you hooked.

What about French toast
tomorrow morning?

What time are we leaving?



I think it’s safe to say
that everyone’s finished.

Yeah.

-Tomorrow is another day.
-I’ll see you guys tomorrow.

Hell yeah.

Where is everybody?

Anyway, how was your day?

-I kissed Barbara.
-You kissed Barbara.

I don’t kiss Barbara,
but night is not finished.

See what’s happening
in your room, man?

He’s just conked out.

I know he actually
wasn’t as wild

as I thought he was going to be.

He’s got a bit of
a bruised ego.

I think so.

I mean, I guess it’s fine.

I just don’t know where
her loyalties lie.

Well, I was pretty
loyal to Stille.

I’m not a good friend.

He was in deep at the start.

And then Jess has come along,
and that’s not so bad.

I love the relationship that
Stille and Damo have together.

And I am worried.
It’s just so messy.

Think a little bit of bro code,
maybe, or just common sense

would tell you,
this probably isn’t the pasture

that I want to be
rolling around in.

But common sense
is not so common.

If everything is just whatever
I ----ing want,

like, it’s going to end up
----ing a lot of ----ing tears.

Yeah.

They always do.

Ooh!

[laughing]

[yawns]

-Good morning.
-Good morning. How are you?

Mate, you were passed
out last night.

I didn’t wear any underwear
this weekend.

You can put stuff in cars now.

Bye, goodbye, guys.

I don’t want to go back
to the boat.

I need a break from my break.

You said you were excited
to get back to work.

Yeah, but I think I was
lying to myself.

[laughing]

I have one single brain cell
that’s working overtime.

when it comes to women.

And sometimes it’s in
her vag*na.

[bleep]

You take two days off

and then you feel more
tired than when you left.

Yachties are so stupid.

We’re so dumb.

-Okay.
-Let’s get out of here, boys.

Back to reality.

Who’s ready for pickup, b*tches?

All right, deck team,
let’s get into our blues

and flip this boat.

[yawning]

-Hello, Cap.
-Good day, mate.

How are you doing?

-What was the place like?
-Stunning.

Yeah?

I mean, we got to
the point yesterday,

where people just
naturally stopped drinking.

-What?
-I know.

-I was like...
-What’s going on here?

I was asleep by 9:30 last night.

We have a lot to do today, Cap.

-All righty.
-Thanks, mate.

-Oi.
-Oi.

Interior, chef.

If we can all meet
in the primary

-to discuss the next charter.
-Copy that.

Deck team. Preference sheet
meeting in the crew mess.

I’ll see you there in five.

-Copy that, Cap.
-Awesome sauce.

All righty. So, we have a
nice group of people.

Co-primaries Helen owns
a lingerie company

and Richard is a semi-retired
real estate investor.

We’re having guests
come aboard that are used

to being on yachts.

Where is Adrian?

They’re going to watch
us bite into this.

Can I just tell you something?

He is the Zeus on the water.

Seriously. I’m going to call
you Captain Zeus.

I’m flattered.

-Is that a joystick?
-Mm-hmm.

The additional guests, Michelle,
a podcast Red Carpet Host,

Kelly, a corporate
flight attendant,

and Frank, who owns
a property company.

So, the plan is you come over
at anchor in Grand Case,

and then the next morning
we’ll anchor up an Orient bay,

and they want to have
a beach picnic.

We start on the charter in
St. Martin on the Dutch side.

Shortly after they board,

we’re going to head across to
the French side of St. Martin,

getting all the toys out.

The following day, we have
an amazing beach picnic.

Both sides have
beautiful beaches...

So, you’ve got amazing French
cuisines, amazing snorkeling,

and it really is paradise.

Night two, come back...

They’re going to have
a lingerie dinner

-that I’ve been invited to.
-Nice.

Hey!

All right, cool beans.

-All right, all right.
-Thank you.

-All right, love you all.
-All right, let’s have fun.

Who’s going to be
the problem child this trip?

-Kelly.
-Why is that?

Because she wears pink lipstick.
It’s not good.

Is it because she’s wearing
a choker as well?

There are so many red flags
about this picture.

People aren’t doing
my pillows correctly.

Do you want to do the day head?

That just needs a little
bit of a dry polish.

[whistles]

-Day heads.
-Copy.

I know.

What did you actually chat
about in the pool then?

Like, what was that about?

Right.

I feel really sh-- for Barbara.

I just don’t know what
Jess’s game plan is here.

Why would she go and
tell Barbara she’s into her

if she clearly isn’t?

I don’t want to get involved,

but I don’t think
it’s cute from Jess.

Not one bit.

But I just don’t want
anyone to get hurt.

Yeah.

Kind of forgot I was tired now.
This was good.

Yeah, exactly.
Pumps it out of you.

Yeah.

[bleep] this day.

It’s going to be
so ----ing long.

What are we doing?

Pack everything away
in the lockers

and then we move to
the bridge deck aft.

How long do you need here?

Your English accent
is incredible.

-I know, darling.
-b*tch.

I’m going to be with you
guys in two minutes.

Yeah, man.

At this time, last time,
you left us.

Dude, you got this.

There’s nobody else
I want to kiss.

I did feel something between us,

but I don’t think maybe
I should have acted on it

because I was with So-so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no.

I respect that.

I’m sorry that I put you
in that position.

And not just you,
but both of you guys.

I’ve definitely gone
in a bit over my head

because, like, I want
the best of both worlds,

but you can’t really do that.

So I realize now I’ve
actually hurt this person.

I’m so sorry.

Yeah, I really ----ed up.

Do you need a pineapple
juice behind the bar?

Sorry?

A pineapple juice
behind the bar?

I still have three,
but if you don’t want...

No, it’s all good just as
long as you’re stocked.

Okay.

Okay.

At the villa, I was definitely
reaching my boiling point.

So when I finished work
and she asked me

to wash all of
the ----ing toilets

at one o’clock in the morning.

You’re lying.

No, I’m joking.
This, I’m joking.

I don’t find that very funny.

You think I don’t care
about working?

It’s what you think,
and I don’t really care.

Dumb [bleep] can’t
even do the ----ing job.

[bleep] you.

I can’t deal with it anymore.

You’re going to tell me you
don’t give a [bleep] about me

and what I think.
Well, guess what?

Now I’m not going to give
a [bleep] about you.

It’s the calm before the storm.

Here we go.
Here we go.

Jesus, calm the [bleep] down.

Fraser, Fraser, Kerry.

When do you want
to get together, mate?

Do you want to do
it now, actually?

Yeah.

Focus!

Okay. Good.

I like how you stuck
those towels. Looks nice.

Yeah, it’s fun.

It’s like someone’s
big handprint there.

Wonder.

-Love it.
-Thanks, Cap.

Interior, interior,
Let’s get changed.

Copy.

Do you want to get the guys to
give this a rinse before we go?

Okay.

You can’t do anything with
the covers until last second.

I wouldn’t risk it.

-We’re fuelled up?
-Everything’s fuelled up.

I think we’re good to go, mate.

All crew, all crew,


Copy that.

Charter five,
let’s ----ing go.

Woo-woo-woo!

Perfect.

This is what
they’re going to get.

As soon as they
come around the corner,

I’ll lead and everyone goes...

What a beautiful day
in the neighborhood.

Oh, my gosh.

I hope they have
Ibuprofen,

because you’re going to need it.

You wave after I start waving.

-Hello, Hello.
-Hello.

-I’m Kerry.
-Pleasure to meet you.

They’re not feeding you
guys very well.

Hi, I’m Rainbeau.
Welcome aboard.

Thank you.

These are my dear friends,
and we vacation...

What a gorgeous crew.

-Beautiful.
-Beautiful.

-Beautiful.
-Thank you very much for that.

Welcome to sunny St Martin.

Here’s your chief stew, Fraser.
He’ll show you around.

Welcome, welcome.

Oh, that’s full.

-See the back as well.
-Holy sh--.

I’ve got champagne.

All right, we have some
Go-go juice.

Welcome onboard
Motor Yacht St. David.

You got Barbara
behind the bar.

Okay, so this
is our main saloon.

It does get very hot in here.

I’ve seen far too many sweaty,
upper lip alerts over meals,

and I don’t want to see that.

I don’t want to see that either.

It’s not really a fantasy.

But they look like
Addams family, you know.

Something dark,
something not nice.

I hope I’m wrong,
to be honest but...

they’re weird.

You’re gonna have a
problem with all of us

because we’re from New York,
we talk so much. It’s terrible.

Okay.

All of your cabins,
you will have life vests.

You might need to repeat
that one more time.

Can you give me the
crackers, please?

-Specific crackers or...
-Regular.

Okay, so this is your hot tub.

When we are moving or
when we are docking,

it’s of prime importance
that we are not out on decks.

It is dangerous for you guys.
It is dangerous for us.

The one space you are allowed
is this entire sun deck.

-Are we ready?
-Yeah!

-Let’s head down!
-We’re going downstairs.

We’re born ready.

Is everybody in place?

-Yeah, I’m on bow.
-Copy that, Cap.

Okay, can we please
ease the anchor?

-Wow.
-Ooh la la.

Anchor chain is
straight up and down.

Heading over to starboard wing.

Excellent work.

That’s anchor in the pockets.

All lines off,
all lines off.

Copy that.

Copy that, we’re taking off
the crossover now.

Foredeck is free
of all lines.

-Are you off?
-Yeah, we’re off.

You are free to maneuver.

We had a day from
hell yesterday.

Every time I go through TSA,
I get pulled off the line.

They must think I look like
a drug mule or something,

because every time I’m there,
they pull me off the line.

-You look like a mob boss.
-That’s what it is.

Port quarter is


Can we get upstairs from here?

Yes, starboard or
right hand side.

You’re going to immediately
see a stairwell on the left.

Going to port wing, port wing.

Just check what deck that
guy is trying to sit on.

Okay.

What’s going on here, Fraser?
We’ve got guests on deck here.

Standby, coming up.

It’s obviously
a drawbridge, huh?

Yeah, I’m not going
to make it open myself.

-Man, that’s narrow.
-It’s very narrow.

-Where are the guests?
-I think one’s upstairs on...

Maybe he went on sundeck?

I assume they open it up
when you get there, right?

Yeah.

I can’t really talk
right now, mate.

I have to put
all my focus on this.

-I don’t want to be rude...
-No problem.

I don’t want to crash
the boat either.

What the [bleep]
is he doing here?

The best view is from upstairs.

How do you do get there?

So... Yeah, come this way.
Yep.

You got Andy on the bow?

No, well, I had one that was
going up to sun deck, he said.

The guy in the hat.
Did he walk too forward?

Ah.

Just down here, sir. Sorry.

Just up here. I’ll show you
what the next turning is.

Bridge, 100 meters and closing.

Need updates on the dolphin
on my port side, please.

-Frankie!
-Hey!

-How you doing?
-Cousy!

During maneuvering,
if you’re going to be outside,

we just need you
to be higher up.

Guests always want to interact
with the cap or the crew.

When you’re maneuvering,
it’s super common

and it’s super frustrating.

Of course, they’re drunk,

they’re asking a lot
of questions,

they’re in the way,
they’re in his visibility.

Like, everything’s going wrong.

It’s a really
stressful situation.

Okay, sundeck time.

All right.

I need a copy on that.

Leaving the dock.

What do you have,
distance on there?

We have one guest on deck.

This is stupid.

I need my crew’s attention
to give me the correct calls.

Bridge, 30 meters and closing.

Projected distance,
negative 2 meters.

Let’s go in the hot tub.

Oh, that was so close.

These guys need to get
their sh-- together.

Coming up...

No.

You’ve had a lot to drink.
You have two options.

Jacket or back on board.

Put the jacket on--

Okay. Gonna play
that game, are we?

That’s a big [bleep] you.

Whether it’s right or wrong,

the French police will
arrest you and detain you.

Come on, guys.
What’s my projected?

These guys need to get
their sh-- together.

Projected clearance on
port side, minus one meter.

-Wow, it’s so close.
-Whoa.

Closing one meter.

Your stern is now clear
of the bridge gate.

Okay, guys.
Thank you everyone.

----ing nearly had
a heart attack there.

-Hey.
-All right.

I can’t have guests on the deck
when I’m going to the bridge.

-Yeah.
-I am ----ing livid. All right?

I keep asking for,
distance to clear.

Right.

So I don’t know what’s
going on back there.

That was when the guest came up,
but that’s my fault.

When it comes to safety,
you don’t have to be polite.

Right.

Because if I hit the post

because you don’t want to hurt
the guest’s feelings.

-It doesn’t work that way.
-Sure.

When it comes to safety,
there’s no nice guy.

I need all my crew to pay
attention to one thing:

that’s the safety of the yacht.

I don’t need them catering
to guest needs.

A frickin’ moment
I’m losing my concentration,

I’m hitting that bridge.

So that’s why I need
everything to be in line.

If I make a mistake up there,
the vessel will get damaged.

A crew member could
get hurt or maimed.

I need them on point.

Let’s not have me having
to ask for stuff anymore.

-Okay. Perfect.
-Yeah?

Okay. Thanks, Fraser.

-Thanks, mate.
-No worries.

He’s Italian.

He’s a hard worker.

He’s handsome.

He’s my brother-in-law.

And we’re sleeping together
in the same bed.

Okay. Let’s just have
a quick debrief.

Cap’s pretty ----ing
pissed off

about the guest being about.

If they’re trying to go
to sundeck, escort them up.

If someone’s not escorted,
then they got

to get the [bleep] inside.

So let’s just make sure
that doesn’t happen again.

A back massage is what I need.
I’ve been traveling too long.

Poor you. Oh my God.
Let me cry in a pillow.

-I’m sorry, Kelly.
-Pour me another drink.

I don’t drive around
and drink everywhere.

-I actually work.
-Pour me another drink.

Anything with alcohol
is your favorite drink.

-She’s single, by the way.
-Oh, fantastic. So am I.

Yes.

Deck team, can I please have
some people on the foredeck?

We’re approaching the anchorage.

-Copy that, Cap.
-You can start prepping.

Guillotine’s off.

Release, release.

[chatters]

Happy days,
let’s lock it down, please.

Can I get some champagne?

Barbara!
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

Woo-ooh!

Oh, that’s good.

Today for the lunch,
I want to be kind of

like a Mediterranean influence.

So I grew up in France, but I’m
an half French and half Italian.

My grandmother, she was
cooking always Italian stuff,

so that was great.

You can smell everything, like
the tomato sauce, the basil.

I feel it’s a way
to make people happy.

You know,
it’s always cool to cook

what my grandmother
used to make for me.

My brain is starting to...

Absolutely.

-Are we ready for some lunch?
-Yes, Fraser!

Let’s go, let’s go.

This looks amazing.

I love the pearls.

What an amazing job.

Okay, let’s start
running with food.

Woo!

Woman overboard.

Kelly, stop.
Kelly, stop!

Would some Caesar salad?

Some zucchini?

Can I offer you some
chicken, madam?

I’m not f’ed up. I’m...

Chef nailed it.
So good, wow.

Just so, you know, one
of the guests was like,

can we please do the banana?

Okay, we can blow it up.

-Wow, that chicken is...
-Very good.

-Oh, my God.
-Unbelievable.

-It’s spectacular.
-It’s so delicious.

Wow.

We can see your tolerance.

She is, like,
"schwasted," like, sh---faced.

Like, she had to be
chucking bottles of champagne

in the taxi on the way over.

You just want a banana.

She’s on a ----ing
spaceship to the moon.

Yeah.

So, Kelly’s asking
for more champagne,

but she can barely hold
herself on the chair.

I’m going to speak to captain.

Who the [bleep]’s laughing
about you?

I don’t laugh about you.
I’m not even looking at you.

No, it’s all nicey-nicey.

-Captain.
-Yeah, mate.

-Keep an eye on her.
-Yeah.

Maybe say, hey,
would you like

some sparkling water
for the next glass?

-Yes.
-I think you’ll appreciate it

tomorrow if we do.

-Copy that.
-You know?

-Okay, that’s good.
-Bye.

-Kelly.
-We need to be happy.

Don’t throw it.
Kelly, Kelly...

Don’t throw it.
Babe, don’t throw it.

Stop with that.

Look’s amazing.

And please do start,
the ice cream will melt.

This is pineapple. Mmm...

I hate food.

I’m going on the banana boat.
I don’t need anybody else.

I’m going on the banana boat.

You people are wasting time.

Copy that.

I’m going on
the banana boat, baby. Yeah.

-Okay.
-All right.

All right.
[bleep] these people.

Hey, how you doing?

No more drinks for this lady.

-Yeah.
-Okay?

None at all.

And then there’s Kelly.

They’re definitely not going
to let her on anything.

She can’t drive.

Kelly, you’ve had
a lot to drink.

I’m worried about your safety.

So put a jacket on.

You have two options.

Do you want me to help
you put a jacket on?

Put it on.

Yeah, I’ll help you put it on.

Okay. We’re going to play
that game, are we?

Come back on the boat, please.

Her jumping in the water right
now, that’s a big [bleep] you.

Now, what’s important to me
is her safety and my crew’s.

When I ask you specifically
not to do something

and you go right
against what I say,

we’ve got a friggin’ problem.

You’re welcome.
You’re welcome.

You’re going to go inside now.

I’m going to call
the authorities

and have you taken
off the vessel

if you don’t listen
to me right now.

Go back inside now.
Go inside.

Me and you.
Just me and you. Come.

Just looking
out for your safety.

Let’s go inside.

-Move up.
-I don’t need safety.

Bring her this way.

You go upstairs.

This is my vessel and you
are going inside now.

-No.
-Yes.

This sorbet, pineapple sorbet
is a good palette cleanser.

----ing unbelievable.

Let’s go.

Ooh, goodness me.

[overlapping dialogue]

We need to look after you,
so you’re upstairs now.

No, need her off the boat.

I’m just trying to talk.

She’s freaking out.

Oh, my God.

-You’re not listening to me.
-I can do whatever I want.

-No, you can’t.
-I can.

-You cannot.
-I can.

You cannot.

Your friend’s in here.

She’s getting very aggressive.
She’s not listening.

Kelly, stop it, babe.

I hate you.

No, Kelly, stop it.

Hate you.
----ing hate everybody.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

They’re assholes.
They’re ----ing assholes.

No, they’re not.

Yes, they are.
They’re ----ing assholes.

-No, they’re not, too.
-Yes, they are.

They’re ----ing Democrats.
Democrats. Democrats.

Some people don’t like being
told what to do, you know?

She scratched me.

Just make a wall
and just crowd her in.

Try not to touch
the best we can,

but if it’s safety-related,
we’re allowed to do that.

She’s going to just
relax on my sofa.

No, I’m fine.
I don’t want to.

Can you bring her some
tea for, like, a second?

-Yeah, sure.
-I don’t want tea.

-Yeah, just for a second.
-I don’t need anything.

Yeah, she does.

We need someone here.
We can’t allow an exit point.

Is the door closed
down to the thing?

The door is closed and
Jess is there right now.

Okay, great.

No, man.
I’m sorry about this.

What are you still doing here?

I’m trying to stay away
from all the drama.

I ----ing hate everybody.

I mean, we’re all for
having a good time,

but we need to
have safety, right?

I didn’t want this
broad to come.

-I better wear a bathing suit.
-Go get it.

I don’t want to go
downstairs, though.

Oh.

I’m a little scared of her.

Wait a minute, he’s...

No, it doesn’t matter.

I’m not going to take
any threats from anybody.

Kelly, who you know,
it doesn’t matter.

There’s one authority on
this boat and it’s me.

So back to the cabin.

I’ve tried every
avenue to calm her down.

Her friends aren’t
talking her down.

She’s tried to attack me.
She’s threatened me.

I want you to
enjoy yourself too,

but you’re not doing it here.

You’ll be doing it in there.

-In there, privately.
-Everybody’s pulling me.

It’s not fair to me.

She’s extremely drunk.

She could fall and hurt herself.
She could drown.

And I’ve got to do what
it takes to keep her safe.

[phone rings]

-Hey, Kerry.
-Hey, good day, mate.

-How are you doing?
-I’m all right, yourself?

We’re anchored out at Grand Case

and I’ve got a guest
that’s very drunk

and getting violent,

and I’ve got to
get her off the boat.

That bad, huh?

We can run a boat
to pick the police up

and bring them out here.

There’ll be a patrol in the dock
in five to ten minutes.

Thanks, mate.

-I’m sorry. I apologize.
-No, my gosh, it’s fine.

There’s nothing on you at all.

-No, listen.
-Nothing on you.

It happens.
I’m sure you see it a lot.

We do. We see it a lot.

You know, it
happens with people,

but people got to chill out.

I’ve got the police
waiting ashore for us,

so I want you to pick up
the two police officers

-and bring them back.
-Okay.

No, I’m just trying to...

Listen, we all have
gotten like that.

Okay.

Oh, here she is.
She’s back.

So what, I jumped in the water?

So what I had a couple drinks?

Can you please get
back to the cabin?

Hey, Helen, do you have your
brass knuckles with you?

I asked you to stay
in there for half an hour.

Can I please ask you to talk
to me in private, please?

Thank you.

Thank you.

I’ll come back in 20 minutes.

-20 minutes?
-Yes.

I asked to talk
to you right now.

I’m not being involved in this.

Hold it tight.
She’s pretty strong. so hold it.

-Yeah.
-Thanks, mate.

I’ve worked in the middle
of hurricanes before,

and I’ve never known
anything more difficult

than having to deal with
this drunk-a*s Jersey girl.

You know, that’s the truth.

Hugo, do you see the police?

Standing by for me right now.

Okay, thank you.

The water police are
coming right now.

Let’s go talk to her.

You can let go now.

Yeah, it’s okay.

Helen, I’m going in with you.

All right.
Brian, you come with me.

Hey, Kelly, open the door.

-All right.
-Listen.

Don’t disrespect me.
I’m a happy person.

I know you’re happy.

Kelly, stop talking and listen.

You know, stop
talking and listen.

It’s only getting worse.

The next option is we all
have to go back to port.

Hey, who’s on the phone here?

FBI. FBI.

-It’s not FBI.
-Yes, it it.

Listen, if you don’t
stop being so loud,

they’re cancelling the charter.

Good day. Kelly.

Get off the boat.
Sleep it off.

Why would I have
to get off the boat?

Whether it’s right or wrong,
that’s what’s going to happen.

Yeah.

But if you resist,

the French police will
arrest you and detain you.

I ----ing hate everybody.