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01x08 - Uncle Grandpa Sitter

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Uncle Grandpa". Aired: September 2, 2013 – June 30, 2017.*
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Uncle Grandpa is a magical shapeshifting person that stops by children's houses every day to see how they are doing.

01x08 - Uncle Grandpa Sitter

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

Grft: [ roars ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning.

Good morning!

[ Clock ticking ]

[ Ding! ]

All: it's ice-cream time!

Pizza steve: I've already

Picked out the flavors I'm gonna

Get -- strawberry, chocolate,

Double chocolate, fudge,

Chocolate fudge, and gorgonzola!

What about you, mr. Gus?

Mr. Gus: I'm gonna get my

Favorite -- plain vanilla.

Pizza steve: boring!

What about you, ms. Thang?

Grft: [ roars ]

Pizza steve: sherbet?

Ugh!

You guys are weird.

Uncle grandpa: well, I know

What flavor I'm gonna get!

All of them!

And I'm gonna get it in both a

Regular cone...

And
a waffle cone.

Hooray!

It's ice-cream time!

Mr. Gus: I don't know how to

Say this, but you can't go.

Uncle grandpa: but why not?

Mr. Gus: remember the last

Time you went to get ice cream?

This happened.

Uncle grandpa: oh, yeah.

Good point.

At least I got belly bag to

Keep me company.

Belly bag: um, actually,

Uncle grandpa, I'm going with

Them.

Mr. Gus: ugh!

Belly bag: I want sprinkles!

Mr. Gus: wait a minute.

Who's gonna babysit

Uncle grandpa while we're gone?

Uncle grandpa: hey!

No one needs to babysit me!

I'm older than all of you!

Mr. Gus: I guess you don't

Remember what happened last time

We left you alone.

Uncle grandpa: oh, yeah.

That again.

But I don't want a babysitter!

I got to think of something.

Hmm.

Hey! I've got an idea!

I could babysit myself!

Well?
Mr. Gus: I guess that could

Work.

Pizza steve: yeah, but which

One's the babysitter?

Uncle grandpa: voilã !

Both: instant babysitter!

Mr. Gus: just make sure

Nothing gets destroyed.

And whatever you do, don't eat

That chili dog.

You mean thischili dog?

Mr. Gus: yes, I mean that

Chili dog.

Both: no problem!

Uncle grandpa: I promise

Nothing will be destroyed and no

Chili dogs will be consumed.

And I will prove that I'll never

Need a babysitter again!

Mr. Gus: okay.

And if you can do all that, you

Get an ice-cream treat when we

Get back.

Pizza steve: speaking of

Which, let's roll!

Both: bye-bye!

So, what fun things do you

Want to do first?

Uncle grandpa: fun things?

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Wait a minute.

No! No fun things!

[ Giggling ]

Uncle grandpa: hey!

I said no fun!

Come on!

Let's battle sea creatures and

Teach them who's boss!

Uncle grandpa: [ gasps ]

So fun!

No! No fun!

Let's jump on this trampoline

And bash holes in the ceiling

With our head!

Uncle grandpa: yes!

No!

I said no fun!

[ Giggles ]

Whee!

Uncle grandpa: are you

Listening to what I'm telling

You?!

Let's prank-call the

President and trick him into

Blowing up the whole planet!

Uncle grandpa: I do like it

When the earth explodes.

Wait a minute!

If the whole planet explodes,

The rv could be destroyed!

And then the guys will know for

Sure that I can't be trusted!

Unh!

Leaving me stuck with a

Babysitter forever.

So we're just gonna sit here and

Be quiet!

And well-behaved!

Sheesh!

I bet the rest of the g*ng's

Having fun.

Belly bag: aah!

[ Chomping ]

Boy, oh, boy!

This sure is fun!

Mr. Gus: thrilling.

Pizza steve: I'd like another

Free sample of double chocolate,

If you please.

Uh, that's like your 50th

Free sample.

I'm gonna have to ask you to

Order or get out!

Pizza steve: oh, tiger.

Grft: [ roars ]

One free sample of double

Chocolate coming right up!

Pizza steve: make that two

Free samples.

[ Ting! ]

[ Clock ticking ]

Uncle grandpa: man!

Resisting having fun is hard

Work.

I could really use a bite to

Eat.

Mr. Gus: whatever you do,

Don't eat this chili dog.

[ Giggles ]

Here, have a chili dog.

Uncle grandpa: thanks.

Wait a minute.

No cheese?

Thanks.

Mmm.

Wait a minute!

What have you done?!

You didn't tell me it was that

Chili dog!

When something bad is gonna

Happen, just cover up your eyes,

'Cause danger doesn't seem as

Bad when you are in disguise.

Look, you ate the chili dog

And nothing happened.

Uncle grandpa: yeah.

I guess you're --

[ Rumbling, motor whirring ]

I am a demolition robot.

Uncle grandpa: d-demolition?!

Fun!

Who ate my chili dog?

Both: he did.

I was saving it for later.

This enrages me.

I will now destroy this rv.

Uncle grandpa: that's exactly

What's notsupposed to happen!

Destruction dance party!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[ Telephone rings ]

Uncle grandpa: thank you for

Calling uncle grandpa.

Uncle grandpa speaking.

Mr. Gus: hey, uncle grandpa,

We're on our way back.

Should be there in a few

Minutes.

Pizza steve: tell him I got

His cone.

Mr. Gus: pizza steve has your

Cone.

Is everything cool?

Uncle grandpa: uh...

Everything's fine.

Mr. Gus: hey, what's all that

Noise?

Uncle grandpa: uh, the

Babysitter is just, uh, cooking

Food.

Got to go! Bye!

Stop cooking that food!

We got to stop this robot from

Destroying the whole rv.

Wait!

Please stop destroying stuff,

Mr. Destruction demolition robot

Person, sir!

I'm sorry I ate your chili dog.

But I can just get you a new

One.

It's the principle.

Whoo!

Finally having some fun around

Here!

Uncle grandpa: this isn't

Fun.

This is -- hey! That's it!

So, you want to have some real

Big fun, right?

Yeah!

Uncle grandpa: does

Destroying a robot sound like

Real big fun?
Yes.

Uncle grandpa: okay.

You destroy the robot, and I'll

Make sure nothing gets

Destroyed.

Except for that lamp.

Both: let's do this!

What the...?

Uncle grandpa: I tried to

Reason with you,

Demolition robot.

This does not compute.

I will destroy you.

[ Screams ]

Dang it.
Uncle grandpa: where did you

Learn to use a sword like that?

I have no idea.

Taste my laser cannon.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Hey, robot -- up here!

Got your eye!

Remove yourself.

[ Laughing ]

Now, this is fun!

[ Metal creaks ]

Time to be destroyed.

Uncle grandpa: [ gasps ]

Babysitter!

Catch!

That was so much fun!

Where did you learn to deflect a

Laser beam like that?

Uncle grandpa: I have no

Idea.

Thanks for helping me,

Uncle grandpa.

No problem, kid!

Uncle grandpa: now let's get

This place back to normal before

They get back.

Pizza steve: man, I can't

Believe they didn't have my

Favorite topping.

Mr. Gus: that's because gold

And diamonds aren't a real

Topping.

[ Cash register dings ]

Uncle grandpa: okay, we just

Got to cover this hole up.

All dones!

Oh, no!

What about the chili dog?

They'll see it's missing!

Don't worry.

Hold still.

Good as new!

Mr. Gus: wow.

Good job, uncle grandpa.

You obviously behaved yourself,

You didn't destroy the rv, and

You didn't eat gary the robot's

Chili dog.

Belly bag: looks like you

Don't need to have a babysitter

Ever again!

Uncle grandpa: oh, I don't

Know.

It wasn't thatbad.

Maybe I should have a babysitter

Next time.

Just to play it safe, you know?

Pizza steve: here's your

Ice-cream cone, uncle grandpa,

Just how you --
aah!

Uncle grandpa: how did that

Get there?

[ Blows ]

"New experiences" with

Beary nice...

That's me!

...and hotdog person...

That's me.

Wow!

I've never climbed a tree

Before.

Have you, hotdog person?

No, I have--

I'm so excited to climb a

Tree for the first time!

I'm gonna climb all over you,

Tree!

Be careful, beary.

♪ Climb, climb, climb, climb,

Climb ♪

♪ Climb, climb, climb, climb,

Climb ♪

♪ Climb, climb, climb, climb,

Climb, climb, climb ♪

Climbing a tree is beary nice.

Wait!

That's me!

Hotdog person, why aren't you

Climbing your tree?

[ Electricity crackling ]

Because I'm afraid of trees.

But climbing a tree is

Beary nice!

Wait!

That's me!

Yeah.

You're probably right.

[ Grunting ]

[ Electricity crackles ]

Having fun yet?

[ Grunting ]

Yeah.

I was wrong to be afraid of

Trees.

♪ Climb, climb, climb, climb,

Climb ♪

♪ Climb, climb, climb, climb,

Climb ♪
[ gasps ]

I'm very surprised at what a

Good tree-climber hotdog person

Is.

♪ Climb, climb, climb, climb,

Climb ♪

♪ Climb, climb, climb, climb,

Climb ♪
almost there.

♪ Climb, climb, climb, climb,

Climb ♪
[ eagle screeches ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Chicks screeching ]

Ohh! Aah! Aah!

Now, that's what I call a new

Experience.

Aah!