02x06 - Workin' Day & Night

[bunniefuu]

Hi.

Hi, officers. What seems to be the problem?

Ma'am, we have your child.

I don't have a child.

[Sniveling]

Why would you want to say a thing like that, mama?

Roscoe!

Why, officer, my mama may be a drinker,

But my mama is all I have.

Why, mama, why?

Get off me!

Officer.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

O.k., I know. I'm sorry,

Very sorry for the inconvenience.

But we'll be fine... O.k.?

It's cool 'cause she know that you all recognize her,

So she not going to do nothing stupid.

I got your pager number, right?

O.k.

All right, my man. Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Hey, officer...

All right.

Thank you. We'll be fine.

Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.

Little boy, what are you doing?

I needed a ride home.

I got stuck at the mall.

My mother asked me not to go, but, hell, I'm roscoe.

You are a bad little boy!

No, I'm not.

I'm taking you home.

Come on! I'm taking you to your mo--

I'm staying here!

I want to watch cable!

You gotdef comedy jam.

Open this door!

No, I'm deaf.

Roscoe, please?

I'm deaf.

I'm telling your mother!

I'm going on the count of five!

You can count all you want.

............

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

♪ Martin ♪

How y'all been? ♪ Martin

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

Ow!

Aah!

Aah!

Martin, would you stop flinching?

I'm just trying to give you a line.

I used to give my daddy a line all the time.

That's what I'm worried about, o.k.?

You're the reason your father got a sunroof in his afro.

Get out of here!

You just make sure you get your hair cut by friday.

Friday?

We're having dinner with these new clients.

They're big fans of yours,

And it would help me get the account.

Oh, I didn't tell you?

Uh, well, stan fired the quiet storm dj,

And, uh, guess who's taking over?

You're quitting the morning show

To work the midnight show?

No, girl, I ain't stupid.

No, I'm going to work both shifts.

Stanispaying you double the money, isn't he?

Girl, you know what is wild

Is I've always wanted to work the night shift.

I mean, like, it's a great opportunity.

So you're getting nothing, right?

No, nothing but opportunity, gina,

And when opportunity comes knocking,

I'm going to be at the door like this...

"Whazzup?

"Come on in here, opportunity,

You want something to drink?"

Martin, baby, that sounds like stan talking.

Come on, he's using you.

Martin, besides,

We'd never get to see each other anymore.

There'd be no more, uh...

Late-night cuddling.

Oh, sh**t.

I'd miss that.

Yes, and there'd be no more sneaking away at lunchtime.

We couldn't sneak away a taste?

No.

What about behind the thing?

Not even behind the thing, either.

That's your spot. You like to go...

Yeah, right, right.

Martin?

I might as well throw away

Myvictoria's secret catalog.

I'll do that right now.

You don't want to do that.

I'll tell you what.

I'll do the show tonight,

And then I'll quit.

One night?

Yeah, just one night.

It'll be fun, o.k.?

But, baby, tell me this doesn't sound fly.

You're on the love train

With martin payne.

Ooh.

Whoo-whoo!

Mmm...

Our destination...

Is love...

With stops along the way of passion...

Ecstasy...

Well...

So hop aboard, gina.

We'll make an express stop in the bedroom.

All right!

Whoo-whoo!

Whoo!

Mornin', mornin', mornin'!

Martin, martin, martin!

You are doing a hell of a job, man.

They love you out there!

Well, thank you, stan,

But I got a little bad news.

I ain't going to be able to do the show after tonight, brother.

What's the problem?

Don't take this personal,

But sometimes I feel...

You use people, stan.

Use people, martin?

That's not coming from you.

That's woman talk.

Let me guess. It's gina, ain't it?

It is not gina, man.

My relationship with my woman--

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah!

Martin, hold on a minute.

Did I hear you use the word relationship?

Martin, that's a punk word.

You know what? This is stupid, stan.

You are whipped.

Brother, you got the wrong man.

I ain't whipped.

I don't have the wrong man,

And I'll prove it to you

With the stan winters' are you whipped? Test.

Whatever, stan.

Question one--

Do you hold her

After making love to her?

Yes. I think any decent brother would.

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

Well, after holding her,

You do ask her to leave, don't you?

Stan, man, you are bugging, bro.

Martin, this ain't looking too good.

Last question--

When she talks to you,

Do you ever find yourself listening?

[Sighs]

Go ahead, stan.

Martin, I don't need to go no further.

You are so whipped,

I could spread you on my sandwich.

Martin, martin, martin!

Gina is controlling you,

And pretty soon, man,

She'll be dressing you.

Yeah, well, maybe she needs to dress your a*s.

Let me tell you something, man, o.k.?

I'm going home to my woman gina, o.k.?

Whipped? Man, please.

Whipped?

Ha ha ha!

Tell me I'm whipped.

Hey, honey! Right on time.

You must be tired from working all night.

Come here and sit down.

I made you some breakfast.

You made me breakfast, huh?

I know you did 'cause I'm in control up in here.

Right.

Martin, I bought you something.

What'd you buy your man?

What'd you buy me?

I bought you this shirt

'Cause I thought you might like to wear it friday night.

Is that right?

Is that right, gina?

You thought I might like to wear this friday night?

So, you dressing me, gina?

You dressing me now, huh?

Martin, I always do.

I picked out that shirt you have on now.

Oh, damn, that's right.

This is kind of fly.

That was then. This is now, o.k.?

Don't be buying me nothing.

Check with me before you start buying stuff, all right?

Check with me.

Martin, look, I don't know what this is all about.

You've been up all night, and you're overtired,

So catch yourself some shuteye,

And we'll talk about this later.

We can talk now, gina, because I'm wide awake.

My eyes are wide open,

Open like a smoker.

I can see clear now.

And for the first time in my life,

I don't like what I'm seeing.

You're playing me.

What?

Martin, I am so glad

You're not taking this job permanently.

You act insane when you don't sleep.

Correction.

I'm taking the job permanently.

Don't look startled.

Fine. Fine. You take that job.

We're hardly going to see each other.

Come on with the seeing of each other.

All right? Please. O.k.?

And let me tell you something, gina.

I could work jobs, baby,

And come home and still have you climbing the walls.

That's right! Climbing the walls, gina.

♪ Spiderman. ♪♪

Girl, I will have you screaming so loud,

The whole neighborhood will know my name.

Oh, yeah.

You mean jackass!

Jackass!

Oh, jackass!

Gina!

Yeah!

Yeah. You ain't got to--

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah!

Listen, martin...

Since you have so much energy,

I'll expect you at dinner friday

Before your night shift.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm a man of my word.

I'll be there, but not wearing that shirt.

Whatever. Just eat your breakfast.

What?

Pttth!

You don't tell me what to eat, gina.

I don't want this.

I was planning on going to the ihop.

I want some pancakes. O.k.?

How you like me now?

Women going to tell you

What to eat, when and how.

You must be out your damn mind.

And I'll tell you this.

I'll tell you this.

I'm a little short right now.

You got $. I could borrow?

Oh, man, I ain't slept in five days!

Martin, brother, you are k*lling yourself,

And it doesn't make any sense.

You're working two jobs, right?

No extra pay, no extra exposure.

And why?

You want to know why, tommy?

Because gina told me not to.

You follow me?

If I start listening to her now,

When will it end?

I'll be whipped for the rest of my life.

I don't want to get in your business, right,

But, uh...

[Sniffs]

You been whipped for a little while now.

You know that? For real.

Gina got your nose open, boy.

She got it open so wide,

You look like you been sniffing bowling ba*ls.

Straight up?

[Snorting]

Yo, tom...

Break it down for me, man.

I got to know what's happening.

What's going on?

It's not like there are any big changes

Or anything, you know.

Right, it's just little by little, you know,

She just keep chipping away at you.

Straight up?

Mm-hmm. Like your pad...

It used to smell like a man's pad, you know.

Feet.

You know what I'm saying?

Corn chips and stuff like that,

But now it just smell like potpourri up in here, man.

Gina put that in here.

And, martin, your toilet paper, man.

The toilet paper in your bathroom used to be white.

Now I believe it's pink and lavender.

Oh, yes.

So, wait--wait--wait...

You think I'm whipped, too, tommy?

Hold on. Not that I think you're whipped, o.k.?

It's just that compared to the way that you used to be,

Yeah, you're whipped.

G-g-g-g-god!

Where's the old martin, huh, god?

We--we miss him.

[Wailing]

Could you bring him back to us, god?

Yo, man.

Please?

Yo, man!

Over here, y'all.

Come on, man.

That's right. That's o.k.

Yeah, that's right, gina.

The old martin is back, gina.

And guess who's coming to dinner, baby?

Robert...

Use a glass.

Now why you want to start that?

Men.

Martin should be here any moment.

He's probably stuck in traffic.

I can't wait. I'm his biggest fan.

Yo, gina!

Where you at?

Oh, I'll be there.

Hold up.

Yo, whazzup?

Oh, damn. I got on my shoes and everything.

You ain't supposed to wear shoes up in here.

Yo, somebody get those!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Martin--martin.

What?

Remember those very important clients of mine

Who are big fans of yours?

Oh, yeah.

This is kimberly and robert douglas.

O.k., Cool. Whazzup, y'all?

Let me pull up a little pad,

Sit on down here.

Whazzup?

Robert!

Shh!

Wha--wait a minute, sister.

You ain't got to be shushing the brother.

If the brother wants to whazzup me,

He can whazzup me.

Yo, robert.

Whazzup?

Whazzup?

Whazzup?

Whazzup?

Whazzup? Whazzup?

That's what I'm talking about!

Yeah!

Yeah!

That is what I'm talking about.

Girl, give me one of these biscuits.

That's a tuna roll.

See what I'm saying?

I know I just met you.

I just met your lady here.

I don't even know her, and she's correcting me.

Why do women got to be correcting us all the time?

If I say this is a biscuit,

This is a biscuit.

Grab you one here, man.

She ain't going to eat it.

Let me show you how it works.

Do like your mother told you.

Women worry about their weight.

Sop it up. Get a little gravy on there.

I got the sop.

Bring it--let the juice roll.

Go!

Oh, man!

Now, that's cool.

Now, this is fun.

That what I'm talking about.

What are you doing? You're embarrassing me.

What are you wearing? This is formal.

Gina, why are you whispering, gina, huh?

We ain't got no secrets.

Don't look surprised on your face.

The old martin is back.

And I'm not whipped, no matter what stan says.

Stan?

Oh, god.

Robert, you are making a mess.

Handle your business, man.

Woman, you better check yourself

Before you wreck yourself!

That's all I'm saying.

That's all I'm saying.

How you feel?

I feel strong! I feel free!

Fellas, I got to know.

Girl, don't you-- girl, no, not now.

Fellas, I got to know.

How many of y'all rather be at home

Watching tv...

Scratching your a*s?

Look. Ain't this sad?

You could count.

See, I'm a free man.

I'm free to make my own decisions.

I bet y'all got on

Something your woman bought for you.

Show me. Point to it.

Come on, y'all. Free yourselves!

If you going to be a man, free yourself!

Yeah!

That's what I'm talking about.

You know what? Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yo, fellas!

We got to get ready and get up out of here.

Martin!

Hold on, fellas. Hold on.

Watch how I handle this.

Yeah? Whazzup?

Martin, I will see you at home.

Yeah!

When I get there.

Yo, fellas. Let's be out!

Men rule!

I don't know about the rest of y'all,

But I miss my woman.

I'm tired.

I want to go home,

But I cannot because of martin!

Don't blame me, man.

You act like punks. Y'all ran out.

[Shouting]

Bring him in, girls.

Bring him in.

Oh, gina.

Gina, gina, gina, what are you doing?

Me and the ladies were chatting with stan.

He has something to say to you, right?

I've been checking your test scores, man,

And dig it, you're not whipped.

It was a computer error.

As a matter of fact,

You--you have your woman in check.

I mean--i mean you have a good...

Relationship.

Thank you, stan.

You can go now.

O.k. I'm going to go,

But you women are going to pay

For busting up my cadillac.

Ladies, round them up. Get them out of here.

And you, let's go.

All right, girlfriend. We'll talk later.

I got your number. We'll talk.

Time to move it. Put that head to it.

Gina, that was wild,

'Cause everybody came in and it was like walking tall.

Y'all had sticks and stuff.

Uh...

Um, baby...

You remember when you said

I act insane when I don't sleep?

Uh-huh.

Girl, it turns out you were right.

'Cause the doctor just called.

I got to pick up a prescription.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

O.k.

Look, gina, o.k., You weren't playing me.

Stan was. Let's get--

No, no. Martin, I have something to say.

Gina--

Wait.

I do not want to control you.

O.k., All right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I made you miss the account.

I was acting crazy.

Actually, martin, I got the account.

Kimberly liked the way I handled stan's car.

Girl...

You didn't get the account.

Oh, yes, I did.

Give me some of the wet mouth.

No, no.

A taste.

Just a little taste of the wet mouth.

No! No!

Martin.

I'm happy for you.

We may be partners, but I'm still mamad at you.

You don't have to worry about being whipped anymore,

Because for the next month,

You'll be whipping yourself.

Huh! Goin' to tell me nothin'!

Tell me when to eat and not to eat

And how not to eat.

You goin' to tell me nothin!


I want to watch the show.

[Knock on door]

I want to watch def comedy jam.

I want to watch def comedy jam.

Roscoe, open this door!

You got def comedy jam.

Roscoe, I'm telling your mother!