02x03 - Ad Man Micelli

[bunniefuu]

♪ There is more to life
than what you're living

♪ So take a chance
and face the wind

♪ An open road
and a road that's hidden

♪ A brand new life
around the bend

♪ There were times
when I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail
and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take
and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you
my friend

♪ Nights are long
but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life
around the bend ♪

♪ Wait a moment
Wait a moment ♪

Good morning.

Morning, Mona.

Meatball heroes?
For breakfast?

Ah, nah, Mona,
this is for the kids' lunch.

Hot meatball subs
for the first day of school.

Mmm-hmm. I give that meat
two hours to turn gray,

and the fat to congeal
into white, waxy globs.

Mona, Mona, Mona,
you're talking to me here.

Not some kid on the street.

Good morning. Oh, Mother,
wait until you see Sam.

Tony, those clothes
you bought her

are absolutely adorable.

Now wait a minute.

Are we talking
six-grade adorable

or are we talking
junior high adorable?

Because she's going to be
a teenager in two weeks.

Definitely junior high.

Okay. You know, because
I really want her to fit in.

She will, Tony.

Not like Angela,
who spent her first day

in the seventh grade
hiding in her locker.

Mother, I was not hiding.

The ninth graders
locked me in there.

Not that that's
going to happen to Sam.

Of course not, Tony.

They only do that
to nerds with cooties.

Thank you, Mother.

You know, the thing is that

I've been checking out
these fashions

in Teen Scene magazine.

And, you know,
that outfit I got her

is definitely bodacious.

Sam, now that
you're in junior high,

will you still play with me?

Of course I will, Jonathan.

Just not in public.

I can live with that.

Good morning, everybody.

Oh, junior high girl.

Oh, you were right, Tony.

Does she look gnarly.

Boy, junior high's going to be

so much different
than grade school.

I mean, I've never even heard
of half these subjects.

First period, English Lit?

Oh, honey, that's just
a fancy name for reading.

-Composition?
-Writing.

-Algebra?
-Arithmetic.

Human health and development?

Sex education.

I think I'm going to like
junior high.

Oh, mamma mia!

Fifteen right,




Oh, please open.

Please.

Oh, no.

-Sam.
-Hi, Marci.

Am I glad to see you.

-How was gym?
-Awful.

They make you take a shower.

Ugh...

Sam, don't look.
Here come the popular girls.

Marci, we've only been here
for three hours.

How can anybody
be popular already?

We're talking Robin Fraser.

Her sister was only
head cheerleader.

Those are her pom-poms
bronzed in the trophy case?

Here they come.
Should we say "hi"?

Yeah, but don't blow it.

Hi, Marci.

She's talking to me.

Hi, Robin.

Hi.

This is Bonnie and Julia.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Hi.

Oh, this is Samantha Micelli.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Hi.

Everyone calls me Sam.

Sam?

Cool nickname.

Come on. Let's go to lunch.
I'm starved.

-Me too.
-Me too.

You guys want to come?

Yeah, that would be...
Pretty okay.

Look,
there's Dolores Parkinson.

She went to
our elementary school.

I think they're poor.

No, they're not.
Her father's a dentist.

Yeah, but he advertises.

Oh, and look,
she's brings her lunch.

Uh, I think
I'll save my coffee for later.

Oh, awesome.

You're allowed
to drink coffee?

Well, actually,
it's not really coffee,
it's...

Sam.

Brewed decaf.
Let's go to lunch.

So where do you live, Sam?

Oak Hills Drive.

Nice neighborhood.

I bet your Dad's loaded.

Well, he really... Cleans up.

Oh, my God.

♪ Wait a moment
Wait a moment ♪

So what do you think?

for a common goal...

Angela, is this going to be
a long story?

I've got cookies in the oven.

I simply want to know why,
with 30 of the industry's

most creative minds
on my payroll,

I do all the work.

Simple. You're the best.

That's why
they made you president.

You're right.

And, by the way.

Excuse me.

If I was looking at myself,

and I'm not saying I was,

you were watching me do it.

Hi, Dad.
Bye, Dad.

Whoa, wait a minute.

Where are you going?
Where're you off to?

-Where am I going?
-Yeah.

I'm only going to
Robin Fraser's house!

Robin Fraser? Well, how come
I haven't met her, Sam?

Oh, that's because
she's never over here.

I'm always at her house.

Bye, Dad.

See ya.

"See ya."

I'll give you "see ya."

Is everything okay?

She's never home anymore,
Angela.

She's always going out.

Well, Tony,
you wanted her to fit in.

You wanted her
to make friends.

Well, how come
I don't know any of them?

How come
she don't bring them around?

Well, did you invite them
over here?

Since when do kids
need invitations?

They come over,
they hang out,

they eat your food,
they leave.

It's nice.

I've got a great idea.

Tony, why don't we have

a surprise party
for her birthday?

I'll get to meet
all her new friends.

Yeah. Well, let's make it
a slumber party.

Let's not go overboard.

Oh, no, no, Tony,
that's what you do

in the seventh grade.

You make popcorn,
you talk about boys,

and you practice kissing.

With who?

Tony, you practice
on the back of your hand.

We practiced
in the back of a Chevy.

Lovely.

Hi, guys.

Honey, come here.
Guess what?

For a surprise
for Sam's birthday,

we're going to have
all her girlfriends
sleep over here.

Won't that be fun?

Girls, may I sleep next door
at Peter's?

Well, it's okay with me
if it's okay with Peter's mom.

Yeah? Oh, boy.

She says yes to everything.

That's why Peter's got so many
brothers and sisters.

Tony, are we all set
for Saturday?

Well, you know something,
Angela?

Now that I think about it,
Friday'd be better,

because she will not
be expecting a thing.

Oh, Tony, Tony.

I can't,
I have a date on Friday.

You do?

With who?

So, I guess you've got
a big Friday night planned

with all your friends, huh?

I thought I did,
but everyone's busy.

Oh, well, Sam.
Don't worry, Sam.

They're probably just
having a party
and you're not invited.

Thanks a lot, Mona.

Oh, I wonder
who that could be?

Sam, would you get that
for me?

I'm a little busy here, okay?

Sure. It'll be the thrill
of my evening...

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

-That's them.
-I'm outta of here.

Don't let any girls
touch my stuff.

Get going. Get outta here.

-Surprise!
-Ah!

I don't believe it!

Happy birthday, baby.

Dad, you knew about this
the whole time?

What can I say,
I'm a party animal.

Your dad planned the
whole thing singlehandedly.

Of course, he did confer

with the world's
greatest living authority

on slumber parties... Me.

Come on, Tony, let's go make
room in the freezer.

For what?

The first girl
that falls asleep

gets her bra frozen.

Or in Bonnie's case,
her undershirt.

Real nice, Robin.

Mona, I really appreciate
you helping me with this

'cause you know
I want her to fit in so bad.

Mona, Mona.

Don't you think that's
an awful lot of room
just for a bra?

Well, you never know, Tony.

The first one to fall asleep
may be me.

Oh, yeah.

In that case.

Not bad, huh?

Just two weeks into school

and Robin Fraser's
sleeping bag

-is on your floor.
-I know.

It's just one thing.

She thinks
that my dad's loaded.

Don't worry because
it won't I come up.

Ooh, real beamed ceilings.

Nice house.

What does your dad do?

Okay, so I was wrong.

My dad?

Oh, he's terrific...
What does your dad do?

Yes, in advertising.

He's the president of
Wallace and McQuade.

Really...

It's the 12th largest
advertising agency

-in the country.
-Oh, my.

It's great.

I don't believe it, Mona.

She's out there
lying about me.

Well, Tony, maybe it's...
A party game.

You know,
"Fib About Your Father."

That's a nice try, Mona.

I'll tell you why
she's lying.

Because she's ashamed.

Because a housekeeper
ain't good enough for her
and her new friends.

Well, you know, she's under
a lot of pressure to fit in.

Yeah, I know,
and I want her to fit in.

But I can't let her
get away with lying.

I don't know why not.

I've been getting away
with lying

at my birthday party
for years.

Come on.
Don't be so hard on her, huh?

Thirteen is a rough age.

Yeah, I guess so.
Thirteen, geez...

So is 14.

And 15 and 16...

And 32 was
no bowl of cherries.

♪ 'Cause we are living
in a material world

♪ And I am a material girl

♪ You know...

How come when you kiss a boy,
you have to close your eyes?

That's so you don't see
their zits up close.

Hi, Mr. Micelli.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Popcorn. Great.
Thanks a lot. Bye, Dad.

Yeah, Sam, do you think
I can see you a second
in the kitchen?

Excuse me, ladies.

I'll be right back.

Something up, Dad?

Samantha, I heard what you
said about me out there.

What do you mean?
I don't know what
you're talking about...

Sam.

I didn't mean it.

It just kind of happened.

Yeah, well.

You know, you can't be
and you shouldn't be
ashamed of who you are.

I mean, if there's one thing
your mother and I

tried to teach you,
that was it.

Now, do you want to go outside
and tell your friends
the truth,

or do you want me
to do it for you?

-I'll do it.
-Okay, sweetheart.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I know you are, baby.
I know. I know.

I guess you mean tonight, huh?

Hi, I'm back.

ALL: Hi.

You all remember my dad.

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, guys, listen...

When I first got to school,

I really wanted you
to like me a lot.

Of course you did.

We're the popular girls.

Yeah.

And we do like you, Sam.

And we took a vote.

You are our new best friend.

I am?
You're kidding!

I think you are
cheerleader material.

Definitely.

-Did you hear that, Dad?
-Yeah, I heard.

Don't bronze my pom-poms yet.

Remember when I was
telling you about my dad?

Well, I might have stretched
the truth just a little bit.

Okay, I lied.

You lied to your
new best friends?

My dad didn't come up
with that campaign there.

I just said it because...
Well, because...

-Because...
-Because advertising is
a collaborative art.

You see,
let me explain something.

You see,
there's graphic artists,

there's market analysts,
there's copywriters,

each one loaning
his or her own expertise
to a common goal.

I mean,
I didn't come up with that ad,

but I put the team together
that did.

And he did it so quickly.

Dad, you're the best.

That's why I'm the president.

Let's ask it
something really important.

Will Boy George let his hair
grow long again?

Hello, everybody.

Happy Birthday.

-Angela!
-Angela.

Who's that?

It's Angela.

Is she your mom?

-Well, uh...
-Yeah, yeah, yeah...

She's your mom. She's my wife.
My wife.

Hello, dear.

Tony.

You're married?

Yeah, we're married.

We've been married for years.
For years.

Since the wedding, right?

Excuse me.

Could I have a word with you?
Privately.

In the kitchen.
Excuse me.

Would you mind telling me
what the hell is
going on here?

That's why
we're going in the kitchen.

Won't be a minute.

Hey, Sam, is your dad upset
because your mom's on a date?

A date?

Oh, no, no, no.

This is not a date.

This is...

Cousin... Cousin...

-Andrew.
-Andrew.

This is Cousin Andrew.

Such a big family.

Well, my goodness, Andrew.

We haven't seen you
in forever.

Since the wedding.

Has it been that long?

Well, my goodness.

We can't let that
happen again, can we?

Why don't you call me, Andrew.

Here. You'll come by.

We'll barbeque.

Tony,
since you've moved in here,

I've had to explain
a lot of things to my dates.

But married?

To you?

Well, I had to say
we were married because
I said I owned your house,

and I'm also the president of
Wallace and McQuade.

You're the president
of Wallace and McQuade?

Yeah, pretty impressive, huh?

Angela, look,

Samantha just wanted to be
like the rest of her friends,

who just happen to be loaded.

Oh, so you're me
and I'm your wife.

Who's my mother?
Tina Turner?

No, we went
with the truth on that.

She's your mother.

-Good.
-Sam's grandmother.

Oh, come on, Angela,
I know it's wrong.

And Sam knows it's wrong.

But can't we just
let it slide for tonight?

I mean, look,

I can't give my daughter
what those other guys
give their kids.

But I can give her
her 13th birthday.

So what do ya say, Angela...

Will you be my wife?

Tony, this is
the stupidest thing

I've ever heard of.

What, you got a better offer?

All right, I'll do it.

I'm gonna try
to make you happy.

I suppose you're going to try
to kiss me again?

You wish.

Come on, come on.

ALL: We got Robin.

Sam, daughter...

Flesh of my flesh.

Hello, Mama.

Don't forget Papa.

Oh, Mama... Where's Andrew?

Oh, you'll see Cousin Andrew
at the next family funeral.

We're playing Truth or Dare.

You have to swear
to tell the truth
or you have to take the dare.

Want to play, Mrs. Bower?

Why not?

What have we got to hide?

This'll be fun.

How come your name is Bower
and your husband's is Micelli?

Yes, dear, why is that?

I use my own name
for business reasons.

What business are you in?

-Advertising.
-Angela...

Oh, just like your husband?

Well, actually, she's not
in advertising, right?

Yeah, yeah. That's right.
She's not in advertising.

She sort of just helps me.

You know, the woman
behind the man sort of thing.

Isn't that right, dear?

Right, dear.

I try to make a nice home
for him to come back to.

And you do, dear.
You do.

My wife,
I think I'll keep her.

Okay, truth or dare?

When you two met,
was it love at first sight?

-No.
-Yes.

Angela,
she said she wanted the truth.

One look, she was hooked.

You wish.

Angela, you asked me
to move in the first day
you met me.

And he's been plumping
her pillows ever since.

Oh, Mother,
you're such a card.

Let's open the presents.

Whose you going to
open first, Sam?

Well, my dad's had this grin

on his face for weeks,
so I'm going to open his.

Oh, no, no, no, hon.

Let's open some of the girls'
and we'll do mine tomorrow.

No, that means
it's going to be good.

Come on. Open it.

Wow.

Oh, it's a locket.

It opens.

There's a picture inside.

-It's you, Mr. Micelli.
- Yeah, it's me.

-Who's that?
-Oh, she's beautiful.

Yeah,
she's gorgeous, isn't she?

She's Sam's Aunt...

No, she's not, Dad.

She's my mother.

And she taught me
to proud of who I am.

And you wanna know
something, baby?

I am proud of who you are.

And you know something else,

I think you look
just like her.

Oh, I get it,
you used to be a brunette.

No, Julia.

She is not her mother.

Really?
Then who is she?

She's Angela.

She's terrific.

But the truth is

she's my dad's boss.

My dad's her housekeeper.

And you still have time
to run an advertising agency?

Julia, turn the power on.

Yeah, Julia, you see...

Julia... Julia, I do
the housekeeping around here.

Angela is
the advertising president.

Why didn't you tell us?

I was afraid
you wouldn't like me
if you knew the truth.

I'm not rich
and I bring my lunch.

I'm Samantha Micelli,
from Brooklyn.

Hey, h*, h*, hey.

Oh, Sam,
I would have still liked you.

Me, too.

Not me.

What?

I am a snob.
You guys know that.

But I guess it's too late.

I already like you...

Thanks, guys.

Oh, you're the best.

They like me.

Hey, h*.
What's not to like, eh?

Right, dear?

Right, dear.

Sweetheart, you missed
the best party last night.

Oh, how would you know?

Your mother was
the first person
to fall asleep.

Angela, would you
do me a favor?

I got my hands full here.

Would you get the orange juice
out of the freezer, please?

Oh, sure.

My bra!

You knew the rules, Angela.

The first one to fall asleep.

You were right, Tony.

We didn't need
that much space.

Oh, thank you, Mother!