03x05 - The Hickey

[bunniefuu]

["BRAND NEW LIFE" PLAYING]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for living ♪

♪ You take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand new life ♪

♪ Brand new life ♪

♪ Brand new life
Around the bend ♪

Hmph.

Hello, ladies.

Where's Mona?

Mona who?

[TONY CHUCKLES]

Hi, Mona.

Hi, Tony.

What's with Angela?
Tough day at the office?

Did Mona mess up
your lunch order again, Angela?

Yes, as matter of fact,
she did.

But wouldn't be upset
over a petty thing like that.

I wouldn't let her sit
by the window on the train.

[TONY CHUCKLES]

Well, it was my turn.

[TONY CHUCKLES]

GIRL:
What are you gonna wear
to the party?

I have no idea.

I can't believe it.
I mean, he's so...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey.
Whatever happened to "hi"?

Hi.
Hi.

ALL:
Hi.

Dad, guess what?
What?

I got asked to the party
by the coolest kid in school.

TONY:
Whoa.

You mean the Chad McCann?

No, Angela.
The Todd Phillips.

[ALL SHRIEKING]

TONY:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

So, what is so great
about him?

It's the way he walks.

And the way he smiles.

And the way he goes
like this:

[ALL SCREAMING]

Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Samantha,
I thought Chad was the coolest.

No, he's the cutest.
Todd's the coolest.

What is the difference?

[SAMANTHA GROANS]

Don't you two know anything?

Tell them, Sam.

Okay, see, the cute guys
are the popular guys,

and sometimes they're cool.
But not always.

The cool guys are so cool,
they don't need to be popular.

See, then there's the jocks.

Sometimes they're popular,
but they're never cool.

I knew that.

Don't forget the wannabes.
Argh.

Go ahead, you ask.

They'll laugh at me.

Well,
they'll laugh at me too.

Well, you're used to it.
Go ahead.

What's a wannabe?

[ALL LAUGHING]

You know.
Wanna be cool, wanna be jocks.

And they all wanna be Todd.

[ALL SHRIEKING]

And then there's your
assorted geeks, wimps, nerds,

and other weirdoids.

And the lowest of the low.

The audio-visual squad.

[ALL GROANING]

Wait just a second here, girls.
I don't think this is right.

I don't think you should
put labels on people.

I never did that
when was in high school,

and I was the coolest
and the most popular,

and the jock. Heh-heh-heh.

I still can't believe
he asked me.

No, no, no, wait.
Samantha, Samantha.

Let me ask you a question.

When is this party,
and where's it at?

Tonight, in Todd's basement.

It's the coolest basement.

[CHUCKLING]

Are his coolest parents
gonna be there?

Dad, I'm 14.

What's the difference?

The difference
is if they ain't there,

you won't be either.

They'll be there.

ALL:
Of course they'll be there.

[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I think I'd better call.

[♪♪♪]

[HUMMING]

There you go, Angela.
Thanks.

Hey, hey, hey, Jonathan.

h*, hey.
I know they taste good,

but you'd be surprised
they taste better if you chew.

I've gotta get over
to Joey's.

We're going to practice loading
his father's slide projector.

Oh, that's sweet.
Oh, sweetheart,

Doesn't that sound like fun?

We have to be good to get
on the audio-visual squad.

Bye, Mom.

Don't worry, Angela.

I think it's different
in grade school.

Good morning.
Good morning.

Good morning, Sam.

How was your party
last night?

What do you mean?

What do you mean
"what do you mean?"

You know, party, kids, music,
onion dip.

[SCOFFS]
Dad, it was fine.

Huh. That's all I can get
out of her last night too.

Morning!

[GIGGLING
AND INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Morning.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING
THEN SHRIEKING]

So... Hi, girls. Um...

Great party, huh?

BONNIE & MARCI:
Yeah.

The best onion dip.

[CHUCKLES]

So, tell us about it.
What happened?

Nothing.
Nothing.

What'd you do?

Stuff.
Stuff.

Come on,
let's go up to my room.

ALL:
Okay.

Hey, hey,
what about breakfast?

Oh, thanks.

[GIGGLING]

The exuberance of youth.

Exuberance my foot.

Something happened at that
party last night, Angela.

What do you mean?

Well, you heard
what Sam said?

Samantha said
nothing happened.

Yeah, well, there's "nothing
happened" nothing happened,

And there's "something happened"
nothing happened.

And I'm telling you
this nothing's a something.

What?

Nothing.

[ALL SHRIEK]

So how was it?

I can't believe it.
Your first time.

Uh-huh.

So let's see it.

Okay, here it goes.

[ALL GASP]

Major hickey.

That's almost as big
as the one I had.

Yeah,
but it's got better color.

And good placement too, huh?

Oh, it's so beautiful.

So how do you feel?

Yeah.
I don't know.

Different somehow.

What are you going
to tell your dad?

Nothing. Are you kidding?

Well, you can't wear
that scarf forever.

Yeah.

I'll get a neck brace.

I told my dad
I got stung by a bee.

He'd never fall for that.

Mine did.
But you did get stung by a bee.

Oh, yeah.

Hello, girls.

Dad.

What are you doing here?

I was gonna put away
your laundry.

Those are Jonathan's.

Oh, gee, my mistake.
Heh, heh. My mistake.

MARCI.
Yeah.

What's the matter
with your neck?

Nothing, nothing, why?

Why are you going like this?

It's a new dance.

Yeah, everyone's doing it.

Heh.
Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you can do it
on the other side too.

No, you can't, Julia.

Ah, yeah, sure you can.
Look.

[GRUNTS]

Samantha, that's a hickey.

Whoa, how'd that get there?

Sam, we've gotta go.
We have to study.

Yeah,
we have a lot of homework.

No, I already did mine.
Well, then you could do ours.

Bye-bye.

All right, Samantha,

I wanna know
how this happened.

Okay, well...

See, Todd was kind of kissing
my neck,

and then--
I know how it happened.

I wanna know
how you could let this happen.

I suppose you think
this is cool?

Sort of. Yeah, but--
Argh!

That's it. That's it, Samantha.
You're grounded.

But, Dad,
I have a date tonight.

That's what you think.
That's what you think.

You're never gonna see
that boy again.

Or any other cool boys
or popular ones.

Or even a wannabe.

But, Dad...

Go to your room.
I'm in my room.

Then stay here.

And think
about what you did.

[DOOR SLAMS
THEN SAMANTHA SCOFFS]

Tony, Samantha's been up
in her room all day.

Don't you think
you ought to go talk to her?

No.

Tony, you have got to deal
with this.

I know it's hard.

It--
It's a very difficult time

when your child
becomes sexually active.

I know
I'm not looking forward to it.

Samantha is not
sexually active.

Okay, I didn't mean active.

I meant aware.
She's growing up.

Oh, Tony, Sam is a responsible,
intelligent girl.

I'm sure
she's not doing anything

you weren't doing
at her age.

Oh, Madonna mia.

All right. Look, let's stop
talking about this, huh?

Let's--
Let's just forget it.

Let's talk about something else,
okay?

Okay.
Okay.

Oh, Mother, would you hand me
that sponge?

Counter's a little sticky.

Hickey?

Did you say hickey?

You said hickey?
You said hickey.

Know what they call girls who
get them things on their neck?

Popular?
Oh.

Tony, you are overreacting.

Now, what is a hickey?

A bruise.
Mm.

A few broken blood vessels.

A simple glob of blood

sucked to the surface
of the skin.

Yuck!

Tony, please go talk to her.

She needs you.

It's a very confusing time
for her.

For her? It's a confusing
time for her?

Every time I look at her,
all I can see is some kid's face

attached to her neck.

[GRUNTS]

You can't leave her
up in her room forever.

Why not? I'll feed her.

Oh.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Oh. Jonathan.
Am I glad to see you.

You are?

Yeah.

Did you bring me some food?
No.

Then get out.

But I wanted to show you
something.

Yeah? What?

I got a hickey too.

Oh.

Jonathan, that's gross.
How did you do that?

Like this:

Jonathan, stop.

Stop-- Stop it.

I'm just practicing
for when I become a teenager.

Well, you're supposed to do it
to someone else. A girl.

Ew, gross.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Uh, nothing.

I brought you something
to eat.

Are you hungry?

No.

You wanna talk?

No.

You wanna listen?
No.

Well, what do you wanna do?
Go out with Todd.

No.

Is that all you can say?

Samantha,
I know you're mad at me,

but we have to talk about this
calmly and rationally.

Oh, I cannot look
at that thing.

Dad, it's no big deal.

It's only a hickey.

I know it's only a hickey.

It really doesn't mean anything,
but...

But what?

It could lead
to other things.

No, it wouldn't, Dad.

I wouldn't let it.

Oh, sure. I know you'd
try not to let it,

but guys
can be very persuasive.

They'll-- They'll say anything
to get what they want.

Not Todd.
He really cares about me.

That's the first thing
you're gonna hear.

Sit down here.

They'll say anything.

They'll say
men are different.

It's-- It's biological.

That they could die
if they stop.

They can?

Samantha,
in all of medical history,

no man has ever died
from a girl saying no.

Except Vinnie Agirro.

When his girl said no,

she was running over him
in a Plymouth. Heh.

Look...

Sam, here's the thing.

I just wouldn't want you
to do anything...

anything,

that would make you feel
uncomfortable. Okay?

Okay.

And most importantly,
you gotta know

that you can come and talk to me
about anything.

Well, Dad,

about this grounded
business--

No. l know, I know.

I probably overreacted.

All right, look,
you're not grounded,

Starting tomorrow.

But what about tonight?

I think you need some time
to sort this stuff out.

Aw, Dad,
I could do that tomorrow.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.
No date.

Do you understand?

Yeah.

I love you.

I love you too.

Okay.

Hey, look,
I'll tell you what.

You wanna come downstairs?

No...

I kind of want
some time alone.

To sort things out.

[CHUCKLES]
That's my girl.

Bye, baby.
Bye.

See you later.
Okay.

[♪♪♪]

This is a great date, isn't it?
The best.

You wanna sh**t some pool?

Yeah, sure.

Ladies first.

Thank you.

Uh...

Maybe we ought to just listen
to music.

Okay.

[SLOW MUSIC OVER SPEAKER]

Good music.

Yeah.

WOMAN:
Todd!

Yeah, Mom?

WOMAN:
Would you like a cold drink?

No, thanks, Mom.

WOMAN:
How about you, Samantha?

No, thank you,
Mrs. Phillips.

WOMAN:
A nice piece of cake?

Nothing, Mom.

[SIGHS]

TODD:
You know,
I really like you, Sam.

SAMANTHA:
I like you too.

TODD:
I really care about you.

SAMANTHA:
I really care about you--

Todd!

TODD:
What?

Don't do that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I won't do it again.
I promise.

SAMANTHA:
Todd, stop that!

TODD:
Come on, Sam. Why not?

Uh, we're practically
going steady.

You're wearing my hickey.

Because what you're doing now
is making me uncomfortable.

But, Sam, I told you
I really care about you.

Yeah? If you really cared,

you wouldn't ask me to do
something I didn't wanna do.

But, Sam, you see,

it's different with guys.

It-- It's biological.

Did you say biological?

Sure. Didn't you
know that?

I don't believe
you're saying this.

It's true.

A-A guy could die
if he stops.

A guy could get run over
by a Plymouth if he doesn't.

Come on, Sam.

Todd, listen.
I think I'd better go.

Wait, why? Don't go.

We could just talk.

We can play pool
and you can beat me.

I'd destroy you.

Come on, Sam.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Please don't go.
It won't happen again.

Sam!

[DOOR CLOSES]

You are an animal!

You're
an animal.

Mother,
do you have any 2's?

Go fish.

Mona,
you got any 2's?

Tony, you
weren't paying attention.

I just asked Mother for 2's.

Here you go, Tony.
Thank you.

Why didn't you give them
to me?

I didn't like the way
you asked.

Well...

You-- That is not very sporting
of you, Mother.

I may quit.

Oh, great.
Good.

Good. Okay.

Gee, Sam's awful quiet up there,
you know.

You think she's all right?

She probably fell asleep.

Yeah.

You know what?
I think I'll go tuck her in.

Uh-- I know this is corny,

but I just feel so great
about that talk we had.

I feel
like we really connected.

Tony,
communication is the bridge

that spans
the generation gap.

Parents and children
just have to learn

to listen to each other.
Right, Mother?

Oh, sorry, dear,
what were you saying?

Whoa, hey, who says raising
a teenager is so tough? Huh?

Bag of shells.

Dad?

There's my little girl now.

I was just gonna
go upstairs and--

What are doing down here?
I mean, not up there?

I kind of snuck out of my room
to see Todd tonight.

Well, then, you'd better start
talking fast, young lady.

Okay, well, Dad--
I don't wanna hear it.

I can't believe you'd
do this, Sam.

I thought we had
this great talk

and that we really understood
each other.

But you didn't hear
one word I said.

Yes, I did.

I just thought
that you were wrong.

Of course. You're 14.

I'm over-the-hill.
What do I know?

Tony, may say something?

Can I stop you?

Tony, you know how I hate
to be a buttinsky...

No, dear, you like it.

It-- It seems to me

that Sam is trying
to tell you something.

Listen to her.

Remember,
communication, the bridge.

The bridge?
The bridge is out.

You defied me, Samantha.

You snuck out of this house
to meet a boy

that said was off-limits.

Dad, I had to see him.

I was afraid
if I didn't show up,

he wouldn't ask me out
again.

Oh, Samantha.

But, Dad, when I got there,

he did everything you said
he'd do.

Everything?

He tried,
but I didn't fall for it.

It's amazing.

You actually knew
what you were talking about.

[SIGHS]

I guess I should
have listened to you.

Well, maybe you will
when I send you to the convent.

Oh, Tony, look, at least
she came in the front door.

She could just as easily
have sneaked back into her room.

Yeah. Heh.

If the trellis hadn't broken
on my way out.

MONA:
Uh, see--

See?
She told the truth again.

Well, I guess you did right

by getting out of there
and coming to me.

Yeah.

But you did wrong
by sneaking out of this house.

And I'm talking wrong.

So now what?

I don't know.

What do you think, Angela?

Tony, I think you have to find
the answer within yourself.

Gee, thanks.

The one time I need you.

Okay.

I guess I could ground you
for disobeying me.

Or I-- I could trust you

for showing me
how mature you are,

that you can handle
anything that happens.

You're grounded.

For two weeks.

And then
I'm gonna trust you.

Okay.

I could live with that.

That is exactly
what I would've said.

It's too late, Angela.

You had your chance
and you blew it.

Come here.

[GRUNTS]

There you go, Angela.
As good as new.

Thank you, Tony. You know,
when you think about it,

it really is kind
of romantic.

Sam, like Juliet,

climbing down the trellis
to meet her Romeo.

Yeah? Well, if Juliet's old man
would've grounded her

like he should've,

them kids would have lived
happily ever after.

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Hi, Mom.

Honey, what's the matter?

I didn't make
the audio-visual squad.

I lost out
to Poindexter Carp.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

["BRAND NEW LIFE" PLAYING]