03x08 - Semi-Private Lives

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for living♪

♪ You take a chance
And face the wind♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend♪

♪ There were times
I lost a dream or two♪

♪ Found the trail♪

♪ And at the end was you♪

♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken♪

♪ The choice is up to you
My friend♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken♪

♪ To a brand-new life♪

♪ Brand-new life♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend♪

Letter of introduction,
Bower Agency brochure.

Envelope, stamped,
addressed, and licked.

Thank you. You know
this advertising's

a dog-eat-dog business.

[BARKS]

I have the best news!

Marci and I are going
to be counselors

on the Y trip to Washington.

Oh!
It's going to be so radical!

You know, I had some radical
times down in Washington myself.

You know, back in the sixties.

I didn't think you'd be the
type to go to demonstrations.

Are you kidding?
I went all the time.

Fifty thousand girls
and not one bra.

Hi, everybody. Mom, can I go
on the Y trip to Washington?

D.C.?

Oh, sweetheart, Sam's going
to be one of your counselors.

Isn't that a stroke of luck?

Why me?

All right! We can sit next
to each other on the train.

We can have meals together,
we can do everything together.

Okay, okay, you could come,
but stay out of my face.

Is she going to make a great
counselor or what, huh?

Hey, Grover,
what do you say,

take a walk with me
down to the mail box.

Come on, Grover, maybe we'll run
into that cute little c*ck.

Hey, I understand how he thinks.

Ah, men are all animals.

Thank God.

Mother?

No, Angela.
I am not working anymore.

I have a very busy
afternoon planned.

I want to talk to you
about something

very personal and intimate.

I'm free.

Um, Mother, as you know,

Geoffrey and I have been
dating for a few weeks now

and he wants me to go to
Maine with him this weekend,

just the two of us.

Do you know what that means?

Your skin will clear up?

No, Mother, it means that our
relationship is going to change.

We'll be more committed,
more invested in each other.

Angela, are you going up there
to get it on or buy real estate?

Mother!

Do you like the guy or not?

Well, of course I like him.

He's ambitious, successful,

a shrewd businessman,
and he's kind of cute.

Oh, yeah, he could be the next
centerfold for Business Week.

Yeah, it's amazing. We like, uh,
the same books, the same films,

the same mineral water.

Actually, we're,
we're very much alike.

Frightening, isn't it?

Mother, will you stop?

What do you want me to say,
that you should go to Maine?

We should, shouldn't we?
Thank you, Mother.

Oh this is great. It's going
to be so much fun! I can't wait!

Hey, hey, what's
all the excitement about?

We're just talking about
going to Maine this weekend.

Maine. Oh, the kids will love
that. You know what I mean,

Oh, we'll take the van,
I'll pack a lunch,

wait a minute
what am I talking about.

The kids are going
to be in Washington.

I tell you what we do--

Tony, it's not "we."
It's me... and Geoffrey.

Oh, oh, oh.

So, then maybe I won't go.

Whoa! Whoa.

Well, I'm all set.

Look at you. You look
like a regular snow bunny.

[PHONE RINGS]

Oh, let me get that.

Bower residence.

Hey, hey, hey, it's the kids!
They made it to Washington!

Oh, hi, hi, ya sweethearts!

How was the train ride?

Oh, honey, don't be embarrassed,
Jonathan. I get train sick, too.

Yes, Sam, it'll wash out.

We'll see you Sunday.

Hey, listen,
say hi to Ronnie and Nancy.

Jonathan, don't you
bother Sam too much.

Hey, and, Sam, look out
for Jonathan, alright.

We love you! Bye.

You know,
this is the first weekend

that the family's
going to be separated.

It feels kind of strange.

It sure does.

I'm gonna miss
our Saturday night movies.

Come on, huh.
You always hate the ones I rent.

I know, but, uh,

I love your popcorn.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh.

Hey, Geoffrey,
what do you say, how are you?

Oh, don't you look
just like an angel?

Ah, well, thanks, Geoff.
You look pretty sharp yourself.

Well, I am set for a beautiful
weekend with my beautiful lady.

Oh, Geoffrey.

Excuse me.

Guess what?
I have a surprise for you.

I love surprises.

I had my Saab waxed
and detailed this afternoon.

Ooh, take it easy.
You're going to spoil her.

[LAUGHS]

Well, listen, we better
get a move on,

because, uh, traffic's a bear
and it's starting to snow.

Oh.

Thank you.

Well, uh, Tony.

Have a nice weekend.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna have a great weekend.

You know, I'm gonna,
I think I'll head back

to the old neighborhood,
you know. Brooklyn in the snow.

It's a regular winter
wonderland.

Hey, uh, you two have,
have fun.

Thanks, we will.

Bye.
Bye.

Bye, bye.

So, see you later, Tony.

Oh, okay, Mona,
have a great evening.

Don't you have any plans
for the weekend?

Why, me?
What are you kidding me?

Mona, I got big plans,
I got big plans, Mona.

I'll be lucky
if I get any sleep.

Another Munsters marathon?

Nah, The Honeymooners,
lost episodes.

Whoa, talk about life
in the fast lane.

Yeah, how'd you like to take
the fast lane to the moon, Mona?

I don't know how to say this,
Tony,

but, uh, guys on death row

have a better social life
than you do.

What, are you saying, Mona?
Are you kidding me?

You're talking to me.
I'm a regular social butterfly.

Let me show you something here.
Huh, show you.

You know what this is?

This is
"The Micelli Black Book."

I know it's red,
but that's because of one thing.

It's so hot. Ow.

When was the last time
you used it?

Not long ago.

Engaged? Well, uh, gee,
I, I didn't know that.

Married? Oh, gee,
I, I didn't know that.

In labor?
I swear I didn't know that.

Divorced? Oh, then it's a date!
All right! Okay, bye.

[SIGHS]

Tanya Stromboli.
My little cannoli. Oh!

♪ Could be
Who knows?♪

♪ Could it be?
Yes it could♪

♪ Something's coming
Something good♪

♪ Maybe tonight♪

♪ Maybe tonight♪
[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ Maybe tonight♪

Tanya.

Huh, so much for small talk.

You always greet
your old friends that way?

Just the ones named Tony.

I'm glad they
didn't name me Fred.

How long has it been, Tony?

Oh, oh, it's, it's been a long
time. Let me just show you.

Remember this? Oh, yes.

The years have been
good to you, Tony.

Yeah? Yeah, well they, they
bent over backwards for you.

[LAUGHS]
This is great.
It reminds me of old times.

Yeah, yeah, like when
Tanya and Tony stood for "TNT".

Kaboom!

Hey, um, would you like some,
hot chocolate?

I remembered
how you like whip cream.

Salut.

Let me get that for you.

You know what I feel like doing?

Yes, and count me in.

Good, I'll get the sled.

Oh, a sled.
Won't we fall off?

Oh, no, no, Tanya, a sled,
I mean for sledding.

You know, like in the snow.

I mean it's like, it's like
a Perry Como Christmas special.

Can we build a snowman, too?

Perry always does.

It defies my imagination

that two highly
intelligent people

with the aid of road maps,
a citizen's band radio--

A compass.
And a compass,

still couldn't reach
a destination 187 miles north.

Geoffrey, may I remind you that
we would be in Maine right now

sipping champagne, if you had
turned left like I told you.

I beg to differ. We would
be in Maine right now

snuggling by the fire if you
had told me to turn right,

because then
I would have turned left.

What kind of logic is that?

It got us all the way to the
Connecticut Turnpike, didn't it?

Geoffrey,
do you know what this is?

Incredibly annoying?

No, it's our first fight.

[LAUGHS]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Come here.

That's more like it.

I, uh, I better tell
Tony that we're back.

Yes, the walk does
need shoveling.

Uh, Tony! Tony!

We're home!

I guess he, uh,
already left for Brooklyn.

Then we're all alone.

Yeah. What a shame.

This never happened
to Perry Como.

I thought you
were in Brooklyn.

I thought you were in Maine.

We got lost. It was entirely...
no one's fault.

Tony, I, uh, don't believe we've
met the friend you're holding.

Tanya, this is Angela Bower,
my boss.

And her friend, Geoffrey.

Hi, Angela. Hi, Geoff.

That's Geoffrey.

With a G.
With a G.

Nice to meet you.

Yes, welcome
to Connecticut.

Your snowballs
are melting.

Guess we won't
need these anymore.

[LAUGHS]

MONA:
Hey!

Watch it, bub.

Mona, Mona, I'm sorry. I didn't
see you out there, Mona.

Well, well, well,
isn't this cozy?

I, I would love to stay
and find out how this happened,

but my snow-plough
driver is waiting.

I'm afraid to ask,
your snow-plough driver?

Uh, huh, my car
got stuck and uh,

Rocky dug me out and I've been
driving around

with him all night long.

He even let me use his shovel.

Oh, sorry about your Saab.

My turbo?

Oh, Geoff, it's not so bad.

Look, you could see the top
of the antenna from here.

[LAUGHS]

Well, here we all are.

How about that snow, huh?

Sure is coming down.

I got an idea. How about
a little hot chocolate?

With whipped cream?

No whipped cream.

Maybe I better help him.

Doesn't he know how to make
hot chocolate by himself?

No. Talk amongst yourselves.

Well, what are we going to do?

I'll pour, you stir.

I mean after that.

You have to admit
this is kind of unusual.

I hope I didn't
spoil your plans.

No, my plans? No.

No, in fact, this
is exactly what I had in mind.

A cozy evening for four.

Well, I guess we are all a
little too old to double date.

Except for Tanya.

Angela, for your information,
she's not that young.

In fact, we went
to high school together.

She went to high school?

And beauty school.

Oh, a scholar.

Well, uh, let's just say,
at least she's fun.

Are you saying that
Geoffrey isn't fun?

Oh, no, no, no.

I mean his idea of a joke

is putting dimes
in his penny-loafers.

[LAUGHS]

Look, we're all
mature adults

more or less.

Let's just make
the best of this.

Okay, well,
I think Tanya and I

are gonna make the best of
it in Brooklyn. Excuse me.

Okay, Tanya, get your coat,
we're going to Brooklyn.

It was really nice
meeting both of you.

Give me a call if you ever want
to do anything with that hair.

Drive carefully.

Hope you make it.

Don't worry, we will.

Don't wait up.

Alone at last.

Yeah.

Now, where were we?

Right here.

What's the matter?

No.

It's not you, it's me.

I mean it's not me.

It's just, it's the vacuum.

Excuse me?

It's just very hard to relax
in the privacy of your own home.

You understand what I'm saying?

Um, no, no,
but I do want you relaxed.

Tell you what, why don't we take
your car

and we'll go
to the Fairfield Inn, hmm?

Oh, good idea. It's secluded,

it's close by
and it's dead north.

North.

Oh, Geoffrey, this is beautiful.

I love communing
with nature.

Just you, me,
and room service.

[LAUGHS]

No, don't move, Angel.

Geoffrey,
you're so affectionate.

No, I'm freezing.

Why don't I fix us a,
a nice, cozy fire?

Ooh.

Oh, is this beautiful?
Check out the balcony, huh.

Wow. I'm really glad we couldn't
make it back to Brooklyn.

I've never stayed
in a suite before.

Aww, no kidding, well,
let me tell ya,

you deserve the best, huh.

And you know, besides,

I got myself a little
professional discount here.

What profession?

I'm a housekeeper.

But we gotta make our own beds

and don't expect a mint
on your pillow, you know?

Tony,
everything's so elegant.

Even the air.

Yeah, yeah, imagine what
they're paying next door

to breathe the same stuff.
Suckers. Ha-ha-ha.

[ANGELA LAUGHS]

Did you hear that?
That sounded just like Angela.

Maybe it was a coyote.

No, a coyote
has a lower pitch.

Tony, why don't we go inside
and get a fire started.

You were a Boy Scout,
weren't you?

Oh, what a way
to earn a merit badge, oh.

Let me get the wood.

[COUGHING]

Geoffrey,
I don't think the fireplace

is supposed to do that.

Well, maybe the wood was wet.

Maybe the flue was closed.

The flue?

The flue! Oh!

[WOOD BANGING]

Oops.

Well, it's gonna take a little
while for the room to clear.

In the meantime...

Oh, Geoffrey! Thank you.

TONY:
Oh, madonna mia.

Did you hear that?

What, what that?

It sounded like Italian.

Could it be Tony?

Angela, Angela.
Tony is in Brooklyn, remember?

Someone probably
just ordered pizza.

I'm sure you're right.

It sounded just like him.

What is it between you
and that housekeeper anyway?

Nothing, nothing at all.

He's my housekeeper,
he keeps my house.

And what a fine job he does.

Oh, he really does,

you know, he's so
marvelous with Jonathan.

You really don't care, do you?

Not at all.

I think it's time
to freshen up.

Do you want to use
the bathroom first?

No, you can use it.

I'll just
stay out here and enjoy

the view for a few more minutes.

My little nature girl.

[LAUGHS]

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

You!

What are you doing here?

Getting wood
for the fireplace.

No, I thought you were
going back to Brooklyn.

Well, the roads.
Why are you here?

The house...

I mean, I don't...
I couldn't.

I know, I know.
I mean, I just...

I didn't.

Exactly.

So, how do you like your room?

Oh, it's great. Great.
Great towels. Great balcony.

[LAUGHING]
You know, when you think
about it, it's very amusing.

Who'd ever thought me
and you at the Fairfield Inn.

Well, well,
Geoffrey and Tanya.

Yes. Tanya is really
a very nice person.

And, I'm really glad that things

are going so great
for you and Geoff.

GEOFF:
Oh, it's freezing in here. Come
in and close the door, Angel.

Well, guess I better go.
Yes.

TANYA:
Tony, the fire's going out.

Can't let that happen.

Well, see you.

Yeah, yeah.
See you tomorrow.

Oh, tomorrow, right.

Okay. Bye.
Bye.

Hey, Angela!

Oh.

Hey, hey, hey, hey the kids
are back. The kids are back!

Oh, I bet they
had a wonderful time!

Don't talk to me again
for the rest of my life.

Aw, come on, Sam.

Do I look dead?

What's going on here?
What happened?

Jonathan, did you get
sick on her again.

No, I'm sick of him.

He followed me
around all weekend.

The only time I had any privacy
was when I was in my room.

I was in the next room.

Did you know that if you put
a glass up to the wall

you can hear everything?

Yeah, yeah, I do know that.
I know that.

[♪♪♪]