03x22 - Reconciable Differences

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for living ♪

♪ You take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times
I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail
And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you
My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand new life ♪

♪ Brand new life ♪

♪ A brand new life
Around the bend ♪

[♪♪♪]

Sure, you're calm.
You don't have any teeth.

RECEPTIONIST:
Mr. Micelli?
Yeah?

Sorry, the dentist
is running a little late.

Oh, that's okay.
I don't mind waiting.

I don't mind waiting.
Thank you.

Hey, in fact, if you want,
she can go first.

Hello, Joan.

Nice to see you
again, Mrs. Finch.

You're either extremely
nervous,

or an Evelyn Wood
graduate.

Well, uh, everybody gets
a little scared

at the dentist's,
right?
Not really.

Oh! You mustn't worry
about a thing.

Doctor Fishbein's wonderful.
He has a light touch,

and uses the most modern
equipment.

TONY:
Oh.

Now, open wide.
[CHUCKLES]

Building maintenance.

Oh, gee...

You really must
calm down, Mr...

Micelli. Micelli.
But, uh, you can call me Tony.

Fiona Finch.
Nice to meet you, Tony.

Oh, uh, nice to meet you, too,
Mrs. Finch.

I'm usually not this big
a chicken. Heh, heh.

Course, I usually don't go
to the dentist. Heh!

But, uh,
I lost this filling.

I found it though.
I got it-- Here it is.

How wise
of you to bring it in.

Yeah, I was going to put it
back in myself,

but I figured Fishbein
could do a better job. Heh!

As my husband said,

"If you don't take care
of your teeth,

your teeth won't
take care of you."

[CHUCKLES]
Sounds like a fun guy.

Heh!

He was, indeed.
Unfortunately, he's passed on.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh--
[CHUCKLES]

--it was difficult
at first,

but life goes on.
And through it all,

I've maintained
impeccable dental hygiene.

Oh, good for you.
Heh, heh!

Oh, I was never one
to wallow in self-pity.

So my husband's gone,
my children are grown,

my days are empty.

I always try to look on
the bright side.

You still have
your teeth.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Uh, boy, you know,
Mrs. Finch,

I'm really glad I ran into you,
because I really am

a lot more relaxed.
Ready, Mr. Micelli.

Hide me!

Mother?
Hm?

What is this?

That's
accounts receivable.

Don't they teach you anything
at Harvard Business School?

No, I mean why didn't you bill
Perkins Pet Supplies?

Oh, well, Jay's wife split
and took him for a flea bath.

And I felt kind of
sorry for him.

I said I'd bill him
next month.

Mother, this is no way to run
a business. I have expenses.

Oh, that reminds me.
Here's my expense account.

Pay up.

Hi, Tony.
Hi.
Hey.

How was the dentist?

It was okay. It was okay.
He, uh, he used gas,

he used Novocain, he played
music. Not loud enough, though.

I could still
hear myself screaming.

You poor baby.

Oh!
Oh.

Oh, no, no, not again?

Another weekend workathon?
Files all over my kitchen.

I can't work this way,
Angela.

Well, neither can I.

So where are you going? We still
have a lot of work to do.

Angela,
you can't expect me

to work on Saturday
night.

I have a responsibility

to the eligible
males of the tri-state area.

What's the matter, Mona?
Cutting back?

[LAUGHS]

You can't leave.

Eat my dust.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.
You know what your problem is?

Yeah, her.
Yeah, her.

Seriously, now, wait a minute.
Business is booming.

You guys need more help.
You know what I mean?

I met this lady down
at the dentist's office.

She'd be perfect for you.
She's hired.

I hadn't thought
of hiring anyone.

Well, think about it,
Angela.

We are absolutely swamped
with work.

I can hardly keep up
with my filing.

Just look at my
nails.

Anyway,
she's a real nice lady,

she's been a secretary before,
she's responsible,

she's intelligent,
she has her own dental plan.

Gee, I don't know,
training another person?

h*, hey, I'm not trying to force
anybody on you, Angela.

Look, if you
don't want to see her,

you don't have to see her.
I didn't make no promises.

Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt
to talk to her.

How about 10:30 on Monday?
I told her 11:00.

[LAUGHS]
Oh, please...

[♪♪♪]

And, here
we are, eh?

The Bower Agency.
What do you think?

Are you sure
it's open?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
Mona takes a lot of breaks.

Last year she missed October.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Tony, thank you for coming
down here with me.

Even if I don't get
the job,

taking the commuter train
was quite a thrill.

Yeah. I could tell because,
you know, most people

don't applaud when they
pull into the station there.

I suppose I'm a little bit
overstimulated.

I want to make
a good impression.

Do you have
any dental floss?

[CHUCKLES]
No, no, you, don't
need dental floss.

You're gonna be okay. Look,
remember, all you got to do

is play it straight with Mona
and suck up to Angela.

[CHUCKLES]
[PHONE RINGING]

You wanna get that?

You really think
I could?
Go for it.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Good morning, Bower Agency.

Ooh, watch out.
She's a natural.

No, I'm sorry. Mona's not
at her desk at the moment.

May I take a message?

Get back, she's on a roll.
[CHUCKLES]

Reservations for noon,

the Piermont Hotel,

the Jungle Room.
Thank you.

I suppose that's
for lunch.

Yeah, and maybe a quick
swing through the trees.

Hey, Mona,
you got a message.

[IMITATES TARZAN'S YELL]

Jay Perkins called?
It's him. It's him.

Mona Robinson, this is
Fiona Finch and vice versa.

How do you do?
I do hope you don't mind.

I took the liberty of
answering your telephone.

It appears that
your luncheon date is on.

Oh, oh, rats!
I'm gonna have to cancel.

I promised Angela I'd get
this stupid filing done.

Well, then, maybe Fiona
could give you a hand.

Oh. no, I couldn't ask her
to do that.

I'd be happy to.
Good. Start here.

Oh!

This is just
what this office needs.

Yeah, yeah,
someone who wants to work.

Hey, Angela.
Hi, Tony.

Excuse me,
who is the strange woman

riffling through my files?
[TONY CHUCKLES]

This is Fiona.
Huh. Fiona.

She is a great worker--
Could be a real asset

to the office.
Tell her, tell her.

Tony, you don't just pull
someone off the street

and put them to work. I have
to check her qualifications,

I have to verify her
references.

Screening a prospective
employee is a complex

and grueling procedure.
Okay.

Excuse me...
[CHUCKLES]

How do you do?
I'm Angela Bower.

How nice to meet you,
Mrs. Bower.

I hope you don't mind
my saying this,

but you seem awfully young
to own your own agency.

When can you start?

[♪♪♪]

[PENCIL SHARPENER WHIRRING]

[MONA GRUNTS WITH
EACH TAPPING OF A KEY]

Fiona,

would you mind stuffing
these?

Mind?
It's my pleasure.

Well, then I'll just
double your pleasure.

[KEYS TAPPING]

What are you doing?

You left your participle
dangling.

I'm funny that way.

Oh.

Mother, I thought I asked you
to type those letters.

Oh, no. Mona typed them.
There was just a little mistake.

I'll check through the rest
to make sure they're perfect.

As a fellow
perfectionist,

I applaud your
attention to detail.

Others might learn from
that example.

Others could care
less.

Now, now, Hank,
I know the presentation's late.

So will you stop grousing?

Look, it'll give you more
free time to buy that new car.

And I've been thinking--
Get the Porsche.

Uh, but not
the convertible, huh?

Because it'll blow your
toupee off.

No, nobody else can tell.

Mother? Have you found
that Speed-0-Burger file yet?

Oh, Hank, I'll have
to call you back. Bye.

I, I, have done nothing
all day long

but look for that file.
I don't know how

I'm gonna find it
if you keep on bugging me.

Here it is.

Why, thank you,
Fiona.

How would you like a nice cup
of freshly-brewed coffee?

That would be lovely.

Well, where did you
find it?

Under S for Speed-0-Burger.
Where did you look?

Under G for greasy
spoon.

Oh, I hope I haven't
inconvenienced you.

I've alphabetized
the files.

You know, according
to the alphabet?

That is just crazy enough
to work.

[INSINCERE LAUGHTER]

[♪♪♪]

Assessing the market research,
the demographics suggest--

Uh-uh-uh!
Aah!

Am I dangling again?

Oh, those pesky
participles.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, Fiona,
you are a gem.

What would I do
without you?

Oh, hello, Mother.

Well, I didn't know you two
were working tonight.

Well, it's Saturday night
and I knew you had plans.

And besides,
we're having so much fun,

it doesn't seem
like work.

I could stay and help you
if you'd like.

Oh, no, Mother, it's
the last night of the Bolshoi.

Well, I can cancel.

They'll be back
in five or six years.

Oh, Mother,
don't be silly.

Besides, Fiona and I have
such a wonderful rapport.

She takes down
my words--

Even before she
says them.

[INSINCERE LAUGHTER]

Hey, h*, what do you say,
what do you say?

Get it while it's hot
and gooey.

Gee, that's enough pizza
to feed Pavarotti.

Yeah, well,
it was on special.

Buy two large pizzas,
you get a Frisbee for 19 cents.

Wouldn't it have been cheaper
just to buy a Frisbee?

Sure, but then you
wouldn't get any pizza.

Tell her. Tell her.
Hey, just be happy

I didn't buy that '87 Wagoneer
to get the free kayak.

[LAUGHS]
SAMANTHA:
I'll see you guys later.

Hey, where're you going,
Samantha?

Don't you want any pizza?
No, I just wanted a Frisbee.

Honey, I didn't know
you played Frisbee.

[SCOFFS]
It's a great way
to meet boys, okay?

You go to the beach,
you throw it up in the air,

and a guy brings it back.
[CHUCKLES]

Come here. Come here.

Give me that.

Give me that.
[GRUNTS]

You can have it back when
you graduate...from college.

Hey, Tony,
no, no pepperoni?

You always bring me
pepperoni.

Well, I'm sorry, Mone,
but I thought you were going

to the Bolshevik.
FIONA: Excuse me...

Excuse me, Tony, I believe
that's the Bolshoi.

Oh, well,
hey, guys in tights--

They all look
the same to me. Heh!

Tony, could I see you
in the kitchen?

In the kitchen?
Mm-hm.

Well, wait a minute.

What's the matter?
What?

That woman
gets on my nerves.

Oh, hey,
me too, sometimes,

but hey, what're you gonna do?
She owns the house.

I am not talking
about Angela.

I'm talking about that
Secretarial SWAT Team in there.

She types, she files,
she takes dictation...

And get this:

She only takes
a half hour for lunch.

[SIGHS]
Is that legal?

[CHUCKLES]
Come on, Mona!

Look, I'd really like to get
involved in this mess,

but the way I see it,
this is a problem

between you and Fiona,
or you and Angela,

or you and Angela
and Fiona.

Whoever it is, they're
out there in the living room.

Thanks.
Hey.

[LAUGHING]

Angela, why are you
laughing at pizza?

I just remembered something
funny that Fiona said.

And where is our
little Benny Hill?

In the loo.

Angela, I, I want to ask you
just a little favor.

Oh?

Lose the limey.
[GASPS]

Mother, what are you
talking about?

Angela, wake up and smell
the freshly brewed coffee.

MONA:
I cannot work with that woman.
You gotta get rid of her.

Mother, you're being petty
and childish.

Fiona is a valuable office
employee.

She does a tremendous
amount for me.

Oh, and what do I do?

Well, sometimes I ask myself
that very question.

Mother, I'm very sorry.

You're just going to have
to learn to work with her.

You're going to have to learn
to work without somebody,

because it's either
her or me.
Stop, please.

I never meant to cause
a row between you.

Don't be silly, we're always
rowing about something.

Alright, Angela,
what's it going to be?

Mother, this isn't going
to work.

I don't respond
to threats.
[SCOFFS]

Angela, here.

[CHUCKLES]
I can't read this.

It's Pittman shorthand.

It says: "In order to avoid
certain unpleasantries

between mother and daughter,
it is with deep regret

that I tender my resignation.

God save the Queen."

Fiona, wait.
You can't quit. I need you.

Of course you do,
but you'll muddle through.

Well, carry on.

Hey, h*, Fiona,
whoa, where're you going?

Goodbye, Tony, take
good care of your teeth.

And remember,
tartar is the enemy.

What happened?

Thanks to Mother,
I just lost

the best secretary
I ever had.

No, you didn't.

But you're about to.
I quit.

That's interesting management
style, Angela. Really.

MAN [ON TV]:
Now gently lower your knees

to your ears and hold.

Isn't that relaxing?

Yeah,
if you're a pretzel.

[DOOR SLAMS LOUDLY]
Ooh!

Oh...ugh!
Bad day?

How could I have been
so stupid?

I should never have
quit my job.

Oh, come on, Mona! I'm sure
Angela will take you back.

Take me back?
I want her to fire me

so I can collect
unemployment.

Oh, come on, Mona,
come on!

Now, you know you miss
being at the office.

Why don't you talk
to your daughter.

Because I am a lady

and I don't use
that kind of language.

MAN [ON TV]:
Are you still holding
that position?

You betcha.

Now slowly straighten your legs
behind you.

Yeah...

Breathe deeply

and let all the negative energy
flow outward.

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

Are you at peace?

[IN TINY, GRUFF VOICE]
Oh, yeah.

[DOOR SLAMS LOUDLY]

Oh, hi, Angela.

How was your
energy flow today?

Oh, the office temp
was horrible.

To make matters worse, he left
for lunch, never came back.

That's why
they call them temps.

Oh, and then I called Fiona.
She already has another job.

Tony,
what am I going to do?

Well, either learn how to type
or apologize to your mother.

Apologize?

It will be a cold day
in heck.

Angela, Angela, you know those,
those four letter words,

they're so unladylike.
Oh, come on, be reasonable, huh?

Mona can't get unemployment,
you need somebody to help you

with all that work--
To me the solution is obvious.

Bower Agency...

Yeah, yeah,
oh, hi, Mr. Hewitt.

Uh, yeah, yeah, no, no, Mona's
not in. No, Mona's not in,

but hey, I got your file
right here. Heh! Yeah...

The cost per unit ratio?

Oh, okay, um, hang on,
Mr. Hewitt, wait a second.

Um, you know the truth of the
matter is, Mr. Hewitt,

that all the numbers aren't
in yet. Yeah.

Mona? No, that's another number
that's not in yet.

[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, but I swear,
I'll have her call you back.

Okay, Mr. Hewitt.
Yeah, thanks a lot.

TONY: Oh, man!
Hi.

TONY: Hi.
Here.

[SCOFFS]
Oh, Tony,

is that letter ready
for air express yet?

It's got to be there
by tomorrow.

Don't worry, don't worry.

It'll absolutely,
positively be there. Heh!

What letter?

The Anderson letter.

I put it on top
of your desk.

Where is
the top of your desk?

It was here a minute ago.

Oh, hi, Grandma!
Hey!

Oh, hi, kids. Hi.
How was school?

Oh, we had
a substitute teacher,

three fire drills,
and a b*mb scare.

Ooh, it was great.

Grandma, there's
nothing in here.

Didn't you go
shopping?
Oh, yeah.

I bought two new
pair of shoes.

Ooh, I love those.
Those are so cute.

Well, isn't there
anything to eat?

Well, how 'bout some
cold pizza?

But Tony always likes me to eat
healthy food after school.

Well, put a piece
of broccoli on it.

Mona, you are so lucky
not to have to go to work.

I wish I could sit around
all day and do nothing.

Yeah...but doing nothing
at the office

is more fun.
And it pays better.

Mr. Perkins! Hello!
What are you doing here?

Mrs. Bower, how long have you
handled Perkins Pet Supplies?

Oh, about eight
months.

[CHUCKLES]
That's 56 in dog months.

Where's Mona?
Uh, I'm sorry,

but Mona doesn't work here
any longer.

What?
That's awful.

Well, I'm sure that
I can help you.

Mona and I had an
agreement.

Oh, I don't like
to get mixed up

in my Mother's
personal life.

No, no, no, we agreed that you
wouldn't bill me for two months.

Then some birdbrain
sent me this.
Well,

not this birdbrain.
I just started. Heh-heh-heh!

Mr. Perkins, I'm terribly sorry.
Please ignore the bill.

You know, I chose a small agency
to get the personal touch,

and now the woman who was
personally touching me is gone.

Perhaps I should take my kibble
somewhere else.

Wait a minute,
Mr. Perkins,

I just wanted you to know
that Angela is negotiating

to bring Mona back right now
even as we speak.

I don't--
Really? Oh.

Well, perhaps I got my feathers
ruffled for nothing.

Uh, have Mona give me a call
when she's back in the roost.

What an odd duck.
Heh!

Why did you tell him that I was
negotiating with Mother?

Because, Angela,
come on,

it's just not as much fun
around here without Mona.

Tony, this isn't
supposed to be fun.

This is my life.

Hello, Mona!
Mona, it's Tony.

Come on. Angela
is ready to talk turkey.

Well,
tell her to stuff it.

I would not come back

if she begged me
on all fours.

She wants you to know how much
she misses the office.

Well,
that's just too bad.

She's impossible
around here

and I don't think
it's going to work.

She's lost without you,
too, Mona.
Tony!

Well,
it's too late.

I am not coming back
under any circumstances.

Will she double
my salary?

Alright, Angela, look,
she'll come back.

All you have to do is give her
a $100 a month raise.

A raise? A raise is absolutely
out of the question,

but I might consider giving her
her job back

if she stops all these personal
phone calls.

Will you look at these?
Mr. Ping, Ms. Schwartz,

Letter Perfect Printing--

These are all business
calls...

except for Fredericks
of Hollywood.

Well, you never know.

She could be trying to line
them up. Give me that.

Uh, look, she...

You know, she's really good
with the clients, Angela.

Well, yeah, I guess.
I guess that is true.

And you know,
that's something

you can't put
a price on, Angela.

I'll give her $50 a month.

Now you're talking, Angela.
Now you're talking.

She'll give you
$75 a month.
Tony!

Well,
that's not enough.

That's not enough,
Angela.

That's not enough?
After I gave that woman

everything she wanted.

Maybe not.

Maybe she just wants
to hear that you need her.

Well, Tony, that's ridiculous.
Of course, she knows that.

Maybe she just
wants to hear it.

Mona, okay, look,

here's the final
offer, okay?

Seventy-five bucks a month,
and Angela realizes

how invaluable you are
to the agency,

and how much
she misses you.

Oh, really?

Really?

Really.

You heard, Mona?
All right!

Great, okay, good.

Yeah, yeah, I'll give her
the message. Bye.

[CHUCKLES, CLAPS HANDS]

What?
What message?

This. Ahh!
[CHUCKLES]

Aw! Oh, Tony, this is great.
My mother is coming back.

Yeah, it's terrific,
isn't it?

Angela? I quit.
What, Tony?

TONY:
Come on, come on,
be brave, soldiers.

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

Remember,
Fishbein is painless.

It's not his pain
I'm worried about.

Wait a minute,
one of our little soldiers

has deserted.
What?

[TONY GRUNTS]

There she is.

I caught her
just at the border.

I was trying to find
a fire exit.

Angela,
I'm surprised at you.

You're setting
a bad example for the kids.

I mean, look at me.
I'm cool as a kumquat.

Oh, sure,
that's 'cause

you're not
going in...the chair.

You just drove us
here.

Yeah, but did you see
that traffic? Huh?

You know, I think you're right.
I am being silly.

After all, I'm just here
for a cleaning.

Yeah, but sometimes
when they scrape your teeth,

they find a little nerve
under the gum,

and they start poking
at it...

again and again
and again.

Nice story, Jonathan.
Tell it to the fish.

Aw, what a bunch, what
a bunch.

Come on,
remember one thing, guys.

The dentist is your friend.
[CHUCKLES]

Bower, party of four
to see--

Fiona?
Hello, there.

It's Fiona!
What are you doing here?

I'm Dr. Fishbein's new
receptionist.

How wonderful.
Aw, that's terrific.

Alright group, who wants to be
the first brave soldier

out of the trenches?
Come on.

Actually, Lieutenant,
that would be you.

Me?
Yes.

Dr. Fishbein took
a second look at your X-rays

and found something a little
troubling.

How troubling?

Oh, nothing to worry about,
Tony.

Nothing a little root canal
won't clear up.

Get in the chair.
I want a second opinion.

SAMANTHA: Get in the chair.
[ALL EXCLAIMING]

[♪♪♪]