04x05 - New Kid in Town

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for livin' ♪

♪ So take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road and
A road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is
Up to you, my friend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ Brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

[SIGHS]

Hi, Sam.

How about a smile
for Penny Potholder?

Go stick your head
in the oven, Penny.

Boy,
tough room.

Look, Dad, I know
you're trying to cheer me up,

but I really do not care about
that stupid dance tonight,

or the fact that it's the major
social event of the century,

or that I'm the only girl in
the 10th grade that isn't going.

Oh, well, w-wait a minute.

W-w-what about that girl
with the mustache?

She's going.

Aah!

All right, Sam, you know
what I'm gonna do then?

I'll make your favorite dish,
sausage and peppers.

No, thanks,
I'm not really hungry.

Oh, you say that now,

but when I start cooking,
one whiff, you're mine.

Hey, Sam, what do you say,
we'll go to the movies,

we'll gorge on popcorn,
and go look for cute guys.

Oh?
Just look.

No, thanks, I think
I'm just gonna study.

Study?
On a Saturday night?

Come on,
you'll forget it by Monday.

Guys, will you stop?
I'm really okay.

I don't need a special dinner,

or a movie, or anything.

JONATHAN:
Hey, Sam!

You wanna go dig
for worms?

Worms?

How low have I sunk?

Hey! It always cheers me up.

Especially when I get one
of those big, fat, slimy ones.

Oh! Yeah, sure it does,
pal, sure it does.

He needs some human friends.

Sam.

Sam, I'm going bowling
with Jerry tonight.

No, Mona, I don't wanna go.

Who asked you?

You mean, you weren't
gonna invite me?

On my date? Get real.

No, I was going to ask you
to walk Grover.

Sure. What else have I got
to do on a Saturday night?

Well,
that's your own fault.

I believe
you got some invitations

to this blast, didn't you?
Yeah,

but look who they were from.

Pete Crawford...
Oh, too short.

...Chuck Winters...
Too tall.

...Larry Sherman.
Likes disco. Ooh.

So I happen to have
certain standards.

So do I.

They've got to
wear pants.

Or at least own
a pair.
Yeah, yeah.

Don't you worry, Sam.
We're gonna have a great time,

right here, better than
those kids at the dance.

Hey! Sure, are you kidding me?

A dance lasts a couple hours.

My sausage and peppers stays
with you for days, ha, ha!

[IN UNISON]
Weeks.

[TONY HUMMING]

Hi. Welcome to
the produce section.

Thanks, it's good to be here.

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Hmm ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Hmm ♪

♪ Excuse me ♪
Oh.

Sorry. I was just
centering myself.

It helps you
focus your energy

and attain harmony
with the universe...

and vegetables.
Ah. Well,

I've always yearned
to be at one

with a rutabaga
heh, heh.

Oh, there they are.

Oh, but you don't
want that.

I don't?

No, it's from
Sunny Spring Farms.

So?

Well, they're owned by Demco,

which gets paper clips
from Fryer,

which makes drill bits using
diamonds from South Africa.

So unless you support
apartheid,

you should only buy
the peppers from New Jersey.

Oh. Fine. I'll take four
of the Jerseys.

Oh. We're out of them.
Ah.

Hey, sausage and peppers
used to be so easy.

Hey, uh, didn't I see
your picture in the paper,

president of
the parents association?

That's me, heh, heh.
Yeah.

You're setting up after-school
activities for latchkey kids.

Well, it's no more than what
any great president might do.

That sounds
like a super project.

Hey, you know,
I could teach a class in yoga!

Hey, that's--
That's a good idea.

I'll tell you what, you're on.
All right!

It will be an honor to work
with a man like you--

a man of vision,
a man of compassion,

a man who would
never buy a pepper

from Sunny Spring Farms.

Hey, you, uh, you really
hang in there, don't you, kid?

I recommend the parsnip.

It's a very misunderstood
vegetable.
Huh.

A kid with a conscience.
I like that, I like that.

Well, produce calls.

Okay.

Hmm.

Hey, uh, I guess between work
and school, and all your causes,

you haven't got time
for things like, uh...

going to a dance?

Oh, no,
I've got plenty of time,

but we just moved here.
I really don't know any girls.

I know one, heh.

I can't believe
I finally got a date

with Bill Weston.

You think I sounded
too desperate

accepting at the last minute?

Oh, no, you played it cool.

You hesitated
for a full two seconds.

There you go,


all aglow with Riviera Red.

Riviera Red?

I'm using Crimson Sunset.

Great, I clash.

Well, there goes
our tip, Madge.

Right, Blanche.

Oh, you know
what would have been

a great accent with
that dress

is my gold necklace.

It's too bad
I lost it.

Maybe you didn't look
in the right places.

Mother--
Try my jewelry box.

Mother--

And don't you dare touch
those jade earrings you lost.

Well,
I am off to the lanes.

I just love bowling with Jerry.

His mind is always
in the gutter.

Oh, no! I've only
got an hour and a half!

Uh, Sam, maybe you should
cut down on your sugar intake.

Dad, I'm just drying my nails.

Well, okay. Come on,
I wanna show you something.

Oh, this better be good.

TONY:
Oh, it is, it is.

Nice walk, heh.
Heh. So what is it?

Well, it's just something
I, uh, picked up at the market.

Hey, all right.

Jesse,
this is my daughter Samantha.

Samantha, this is Jesse Nash,
champion of the downtrodden.

Hi, it's nice to meet you.
Hi.

Did you know your nails
are two different colors?

It's a fashion statement.

A bold one at that.
[TONY CHUCKLES]

Well, you know, Jesse's new
in the neighborhood,

and, uh,
he's not too short, Sam.

Dad!
He's not too tall.

Dad!
How do you feel about disco?

Yuck.
Yuck, Sam.

I can't believe this.

Is there some place
I can clean up?

Those vegetables are loaded
with pesticides.

Sure, it's through
the living room

and under the stairs.
You'll love it.

The soap is
environmentally sound.

I know what you're gonna say.

I shouldn't interfere,

and I shouldn't try
to fix you up,

but this is a great kid.

Well, he does have nice eyes.

You mean, uh,
you're not sore?

No way.

Your taste is
definitely improving.

All right! All right!

Hey! Now you got
a date for the dance.

Yeah, but it's not
with Jesse.

Bill Weston just called,
and he invited me.

You know, Sam, if I'm
gonna meddle in your life,

I'd better carry a beeper.

All right, well,
I guess I'll go tell him.

You never know. Maybe we'll
go out some other time.

I mean, when you drive a car,

you could always use a spare.

Just remember, you don't even
have a learner's permit.

Come here.

Jesse, here's the thing.

A funny thing happened
on the way to the market,

Sam got a date.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't?

It's just a dance, it's not
like it's an anti-nuke rally.

Well, anyway, look.

The invitation for dinner
still stands.

If you're up for
sausage and parsnips?

Yeah, sounds great.
Okay.

Parsnips?

We were gonna have peppers,

but there were
major global ramifications.

I really like
your father.

I'm gonna be helping
with his latchkey project.

Oh, really?

Well, I think it's important
for kids to get involved

and not be so wrapped up
in themselves.

Oh, yeah. I couldn't agree
with you more.

So what are you
going to do?

About what?

Your father's project.

Aren't you going to
teach a class or something?

No. I mean, I never really--
[SCOFFS] Come on, Sam.

If you wanna
change the world,

you gotta roll up your sleeves
and pitch in.

I happen to like the world.

Anyway,
I'm quite busy right now.

with, you know,
my courses, homework...

shopping.

Shopping?

It's not just for me.

I help my friends
pick out stuff too.

Gandhi
would've liked that.

You do know
who Gandhi is?

Oh, come on.
I saw the movie, okay?

[SCOFFS]

Angela! Angela! Angela! Angela!
Don't go in there.

Why not?

Sam's in there,
talking to a boy

that I brought home
from the market.

What was it,
double coupon day?

No. The kid happens
to work there.

And he's a great kid,
Angela.

He's aware, he's bright,
he's funny--

That kid
is obnoxious.

So I forgot one.

Thank you, Bill,
it's gorgeous.

It should be.
It's imported.

You do look beautiful.

Thanks.
It's Armani.

It belongs to my brother, but,
uh, everything else is mine.

Well, okay, kids.

Your carriage awaits.

Thanks for letting Mr. Micelli
drive us in your Jag.

My ex-girlfriend's father
only had an Oldsmobile, ugh.

Bye-bye, Angela.
See you later.

Bye-bye, sweetheart.
Bye-bye.

Oh! Oh, wait a minute!

I knew I forgot something.

Just one picture,
I promise.

Okay, okay.
Okay?

It won't take long.
I'll use high-speed film.

Parents. if it's not on film,
it didn't happen.

I love washing dishes.

It's so...zen.

Oh, yeah. Um...

Uh, Bill Weston,
fashion consultant, heh,

meet Jesse Nash,
produce consultant.

Jesse's an old friend
of the family.

We go back hours, huh?
Heh-heh-heh. All right.

Hey, I'm gonna
look for that camera,

so think "Cheese."

So, uh, where's this dance?

At the Longridge Country Club.

The Longridge?

Oh, no, what a bummer.
You guys can't go.

What are you
talking about?

Well, you see, there's this bird
called the piping plover,

And it lives in the field
next to the country club.

They wanna fill in the area
and build tennis courts,

which means the plover
will be wiped out.

And I'm sure
that's not what you want.

Of course not,
but it's just a dance.

What's it gonna prove
if we don't go?

That you care
about the plover.

I've never even seen
a plover.

Well, that's too bad.

They're cute little guys.

Picture a large potato
with feet.

And they have
this great call--

Peep-lo! Peep-lo!

Peep-lo!

[CLICKS TONGUE]
Beautiful, huh?

Dad!

It's not just
the plover.

All living things
are connected.

You destroy one,
and before you know it,

you have a totally barren
and lifeless planet.

I'm talking
no plants, no animals,

no malls.

Dad!

Look, Jesse, I feel really bad
for the little guys,

but why don't they
just move?

Well, it's not that simple.

Why not?

Well, because.

Because what if one of
the babies gets left behind?

He wanders around,

lost and alone...
Night falls.

He's cold. He's hungry.

he tries to fly,

but his wings are too weak.
[SCOFFS]

He staggers out
in the highway.

A big semi thunders
towards him,

but the baby plover's
too scared to move.

All he could do is stand there
and cry for his mother.

Mama! Mama! Mama!

Stop! Stop!
That's horrible!

Sam, we can't go
to the dance.

Don't listen to him. Can't you
see what he's trying to do?

Mama! Mama!

That is not fair.
Sam, it's just a dance.

No, it isn't just a dance.
It's at the country club.

All my friends
are gonna be there.

Sam, aren't we being

just a little bit
shallow here?

Get out
of my living room.

So are you gonna take me
or not?

I'm sorry,

but I just can't do that
to the plover.

How about a movie?

Good night, Bill.

See you.

Mama!

Well, you're doing
the right thing.

Doesn't it feel good?

TONY:
Okay, kids. I'm all ready.

Here I come.
Ha-ha-ha!

Okay, come on,
big smile now.

Big smile.

Sam, you're not smiling.
Sam...

And you're not Bill.

No. He, uh,
went to the movies.

Oh. Well, what a shame,

but, uh, ain't it great
we got a spare, Sam? heh, heh.

Now you two can go
to the dance together.

Well, I would, but,
you see, there's this bird

called
the piping plover--

Will you give it a rest?

I don't wanna hear another
peep-lo out of you.

Dad, you brought him home.

You like him so much.

You go with him.

I don't have
a thing to wear.

[HUMS]

Oh, uh,
good morning, Sam.

Could I make you
some breakfast?

No, thanks.
Just orange juice.

Aw, come on,
let me make you some eggs.

What, and break up a family?

Come on, Sam.

Don't take this so hard.

It was just one dance.

And a lifetime
of humiliation.

Dad,
I got dumped for a bird.

Yeah, but it was a rare bird.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Yeah?

Oh, hi, Bonnie.
Hi, Mr. Micelli.

Bonnie,
what are you doing here?

I came to see
how your throat is.

You still have
white dots?

White dots?

Yeah, remember, why you
wouldn't let me go to the dance.

Oh. Those white dots.

Oh, yeah. It was touch-and-go
here for a while.

Too bad you had
to miss the dance.

The band was great.

And there was
this kid outside

with a picket sign,
making weird bird noises.

But the funny part was,
he had the wrong country club.

What?
Yeah.

He meant to go to the Longview,
not the Longridge.

Isn't that hysterical?

No.

Heh. Hey, Bonnie,
maybe you should leave

before the white dots
kick back in.

But wait, it gets better.

He put down his sign
and came in.

He's a great dancer.
His name's Jesse.

You'd love him.

Well, feel better. Bye.

Bye, Bonnie.

I'm gonna k*ll him.

Now, Sam--
You're right, you're right.

That means
I'd have to see him again.

I'm gonna go for a walk.
Oh, okay, sweetheart.

Dad...
Yeah, honey?

Do you think I'm shallow?

What? Where did you get
an idea like that?

I don't know,
I was just wondering.

So do you?

Of course not. No.

Why not?

Well, for one thing,

a shallow person
wouldn't wonder

if she was shallow or not.

I mean, sure, you spend
a lot of time on the phone,

talking to your friends,

and, uh, a lot of time
at the mall, buying clothes,

and, uh, a lot of time in
the bathroom, combing your hair,

but that's
not being shallow.

Then what is it?

It's called being 15.

Guess who's here?

We see, Angela. It's you.

Oh, not here.
In the living room.

Sam,
Jesse's here to see you.

Uh, tell him
I'm out buying a fur coat.

Better yet,
I'll tell him myself.

Now, now,
wait a minute, Sam.

I don't blame you
for being mad at Jesse.

I know he gets
carried away sometimes,

but, hey, deep down,
he's a good kid.

So could you do me a favor
and try to be nice to him?

Dad, you're really asking
a lot.

Hey, I'm not talking
about best friends here.

Say, "Hi.
How are you? Bye."

That kind of thing, you know.
Would you do it for me?

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Hmm ♪

Hi.
Hi.

How are you?
Great.

Bye.
Hey!

Hey, Sam. Um...

I, uh, I feel real bad
about what happened last night.

You'll get over it.

You wan-- You wanna
try some yoga?

[SCOFFS]
No, thanks.

What, afraid
you'll look silly?

No, I am not afraid
that I will look silly.

Hey, I know why
you don't like me.

Well, that doesn't exactly
take a genius, now does it?

You insulted me,
you ruined my date,

and you talked my father
into making parsnips.

No, that's not why.

Fine.

[SIGHS]

I knew you'd be back.

Okay.

Why do you think
that I don't like you?

Because you're afraid
I may be right.

Maybe you are shallow.

Oh! That is
really rich.

Do you know what
your problem is?

I'm ahead of my time.

Ooh! Ooh! You wish.

You don't know anything
about people.

I think they should
face up to the truth

and be themselves.

Right. Just as long as
they're exactly like you.

That's really good.

What are you
talking about?

Well, you just gave me
a new insight to myself.

That's very perceptive.

I must be rubbing off on you.

Lucky me.

So...

does that mean you're gonna
stop putting me down?

I'm not sure.

Great.

Sam...you know why
I'm so hard on you?

Because you're a jerk?

No.

Because I can see
your potential.

You're
your father's daughter.

Keep going.

Well, Tony's a great guy.

He's warm, he's caring,

smart.

And there is not a phony bone
in his body.

And I can see
all those things in you.

You can?
Yeah.

Deep down,

under
all those trendy clothes.

Really?

Really.

So, uh...

is that yoga stuff
hard to learn?

Nah. Just follow me.

Boy,
you're really graceful.

I took ballet, heh.

I gave it up, though...

for shopping.

It's a little bit
closer.

[EXHALES]

So see?
I told you it's easy.

I bet it'll take
some practice.

Lots.

[GASPS]

Dad!

Samantha.

Wh-what's going on?

You told me
to be nice to him.

I knew that kid
was trouble

the minute
I laid eyes on him!

Jesse? I thought
you were crazy about him.

I just caught them
kissing.

Each other?

Yes!

And you
didn't throw him out?

No.

Angela, what's happening?

Well...

looks like you and Sam
are growing up.

I remember
my first real kiss.

I was so...

so...

Old.

No, mother.
I was so nervous

I lost control
of my lips,

and I ended up
French kissing his nose.

[LAUGHS HEARTILY]

You never told me that.

You promise you're not
gonna tell anybody?

Hey, did I tell

how you broke
Bobby Bruckner's toe

doing the Mashed Potato?

Yes.

Well, everybody knew
anyway.

He walks with a limp
to this day.

Okay, okay,
I promise, I promise,

I will not tell anyone
about your nose kiss.

TONY [IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]:
I will!

I'll tell the potholder
next door!

[♪♪♪]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]