04x10 - Car and Driver

[bunniefuu]

Captioning made possible by
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television, inc.

♪ There's a time for love
and a time for living ♪

♪ So take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ An open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ Nights are long,
but you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ Brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
around the bend ♪♪

Mmm! Tony, your
lasagna's wonderful.

Oh, thanks, mona.

Eh.

What do you mean, eh?

Did I say eh?

I meant mmm.
It was delicious.

Thanks, angela.

Maybe
a little bland.

Angela,
for your information,

Most people
in the "suppers
for seniors" project

Are on
low-salt diets.

Right. It was
a little runny,

But it's difficult
to cook in large
quantities.

Not really. I cook
for you every night.

Well, see you.

You'll help us
clean up, right?

I have done my bit
for the seniors.

I jog by
the retirement home
in my tank top.

Something
to look forward to

In my old age.

[Squealing tires]

There he is again!

I'll k*ll that kid!

Somebody
could get hurt.

Wait! I want a piece
of that maniac!

Hey! Get off that pedal
a little bit!

There's kids in
this neighborhood! Pets!

And sometimes I park
my jag in the street!

That kid's
doing mach 2

In a 25-mile zone.

Get his
license number?

You bet I did--
kl5-6218.

That's
our phone number.

Only three more
lasagna drop-offs,

And we're done
for today.

I just love talking
to older people.

They're so wise.

Mrs. Bayzman's
seen it all.

She actually remembers

The original cast
of saturday night live.

Coming through.

All right!
Pedal to the metal!

Burn rubber!
Eat my dust!

Finished
playing driver?

We have three
deliveries left.

The lasagna's
getting cold.

Oh, let me drive.

The next delivery's
only blocks away.

Your father trusted
me with his van.

Now, scoot over.

Aw, you're no fun.

Driving is
a responsibility.

It's not supposed
to be fun.

Boy,
are you strict.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

It wasn't your fault.

Yes, it was.

No. I was the one
who was driving.

I let you drive.

I charmed you.

You didn't
stand a chance.

Crisis is supposed
to bring people together.

Then we'll get
closer and closer.

Sure you don't
have whiplash?

Whiplash? The car
barely hit us.

You could hardly
notice the dent.

Hey, maybe my dad
won't even see it.

Whoa.
We have to tell him.

I know,

Even though I'll be
grounded for life,

You and I'll
be through,

And I'll never
see bloomingdale's
again.

That's it.
It's settled.

We can't tell him.

But if we lie,

How are we going
to live with ourselves?

Live
is the key word.

Won't you feel rotten
lying to your father?

We'd be doing it
for his own good.

I read that
the three most
stressful things

Are the death of a
loved one, divorce,

And having
a daughter
drive a van

Without a license.

Sam, you're really
rationalizing here.

Yeah, and I could
use a little help.

Samantha,
we have to talk.

It was all my fault.

Then, jesse, I'm really
disappointed in you.

I ran into mrs. O'riley.

She says when
the lasagna arrived,

It was all
cold and gummy.

The lasagna?

Oh, I'm sorry, dad.
We really blew it.

It'll never
happen again.

Ok. What the heck.

Mrs. O'riley's kind
of cold and gummy herself.

Well, i, for one,
commend you.

You gave up a saturday

To feed
those less fortunate.

We're out
of congressional medals.

We devised this
to show you our pride.

Tell them
what they won.

The cute couple
from fairfield

Has won a round trip
movie for two

At the cineplex
of their choice.

Do you have
my van keys?

Yeah.
Right here, tony.

Hold on to them,

Because for tonight only,

You've earned the right
to take my angel

In the style
to which she's accustomed.

Did you know
your fender
has a new dent?

Give me the keys.

What do you mean?

We meant
to tell you, but--

Sam, allow me.

Uh, we were in
a little accident.

You guys are ok?

Yeah. It was
just a little bump.

Good, good.
What happened?

It was totally
not our fault.

We were at the corner

At a stop sign,
totally stopped,

Radio tuned
to the traffic report.

Sam, I really feel
we should be honest.

Ok. We were listening
to a heavy metal station.

We heard this screech,
looked back,

And saw this black corvette
skidding towards us.

With a raccoon tail
on his antenna?

That's the one.

We finally
got evidence

To nail
that creep.

You got
his name?

Freddie smith.

Freddie smith...

Sounds like
a born troublemaker.

Are you
calling his parents?

No. I'll take
him to court,

Get his license
revoked.

Count me in.

We'll build a monumental
case against him!

He shouldn't
have messed with
micelli and bower!

Those skid marks,
they're evidence.

Get the camera.
I'll get the tape measure.

Jesse, samantha,

You'll be my key
prosecution witnesses.

This neighborhood
will know what
happened here today.

In living color.

Know what else
is great?

You'll get to see

Our justice system
in action.

Huh? All right!

Freddie smith.

I wonder if they
let you do your
nails in prison.

There they are--

The witnesses
for the prosecution.

Dad, you don't
need us here,
do you?

You kidding?

You're the most
important witnesses here,

The driver
and the passenger.

That's us,
all right.

Sam, you're
turning white.

Take it easy.
Don't be so nervous.

I'll soften them up,

You move in
for the k*ll.

Remember,
tell the truth.

Yeah, the truth.

Jesse, will you
stop sweating?

A courtroom's
a bad place
to look guilty.

And a bad place
to lie.

Oh, look,

It's the corvette kid.

He'll know
that I was driving.

I exited
the driver's side.

He was busy
fondling his fender.

Hey, you two,
it was your fault,
not mine.

Nobody comes
to a complete stop
at a stop sign.

Don't talk to
the enemy, freddie.

All rise.

Fairfield
traffic court c-104
now in session.

The honorable
franklyn kresheck
presiding.

Be seated.

All right.

The state
of connecticut vs.--

Good morning,
good morning.

What a lovely day
f0r a hanging.

Madam,

I will not tolerate
this disruption
in my courtroom.

Keep your robe on,
your honor.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I couldn't find
a parking place.

Let me know if the mayor
needs his spot.

Are you finished,
madam?

Yes. You may proceed.

Thank you so much.

As I was saying...

The state
of connecticut

Vs. Freddie smith,
a minor.

Prosecution.

We ask that
mr. Smith's license

Be suspended for
reckless driving.

Let's wipe this garbage
off the street!

Objection. I demand
that slur be stricken

And the witness be
severely reprimanded.

What she said.

Now for the defense.

I presume you have
something to say.

The defense will
prove that mr. Smith

Is a good driver

Who's the victim
of unsubstantiated
charges

And should
keep his license.

What a crock of hooey!

Your honor!

The prosecutor will
control his witness,

Or I'll throw the witness
and this case out of court.

Oh, please, please,
please, please.

Will the prosecution
please call its
first witness?

Thank you, your honor.

The state calls
anthony morton micelli.

Morton.

You never told me
you had a middle name.

Now you know why.

Your honor.

Do you swear
to tell the truth

And nothing
but the truth?

You bet your life.

Truth
is my middle name.

I thought
it was morton.

Mr. Micelli,
would you tell us, please,

In your own words,

Exactly what happened?

And please be accurate.

No problem.

Let me see,
uh...ok.

It was the 12th
of this month
at 2:41 p.m.

I was making
chocolate cake

When I heard a screech.

I saw a black corvette,
driven by one freddie smith,

Careening
around the corner.

Mrs. Mccafferty
crossed the street
with her walker.

She hasn't
moved that fast

Since the pit bull moved
in the neighborhood.

I yelled, "stop!"
He had the nerve to...

Pick up angela's
pink blouse and--

That's the wrong page.
Excuse me.

Before we get
to angela's skivvies,

Please get on with it.

I'm sorry,
your honor.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I ask you--

Do we want
dangerous drivers
in our community?

I say no.
We want a neighborhood

Where kids feel free
to run and jump,

Where the elderly
feel free to stroll,

Where dogs
feel free to...

Do dog things.

Your witness.

Mr. Micelli,
let me start
by commending you

On that moving
and, well,
eloquent speech.

What can I say?

I've got
the gift for gab.

Now, mr. Micelli,
you're, what,
in your 30s

And obviously a very
healthy individual.

I try to work out
regularly.

Oh...
And it's paid off,

If I may say so.

You may.

I remind you
this is a court of law,

Not a singles' bar.

I assure you
this line
of questioning

Is leading up
to something.

That's what
I'm afraid of.

May I assume,
mr. Micelli,

That you,
being a young
and healthy man,

Have fairly
good eyesight?



Perfect peepers.

And yet,
even with those
perfect peepers,

You never got
the corvette's
license number.

It was moving
too fast.

Can you be sure
it was a corvette?

It might have been
an mx m*ssile.

Can you be sure
it was always
the same car?

Yes, because there
was a raccoon tail
on the antenna.

Is this it?

Yes, that's it.

Wrong. I got this
at the car wash today.

No further questions.

I know it was
the same car.

She twisted
the thing around.

Your honor,

Mr. Micelli's
testimony proves
absolutely nothing.

You may
step down.

What is this,
a kangaroo court?

Mr. Micelli...

Hop away!

Your honor,
the state calls

The driver
of the van,

Jesse nash.

Ok, go get him.

It's all up to you now.

It's up...

Do you swear
to tell the truth?

Uh, that's a toughie.

Man has been
searching for truth
for thousands of years.

We'd like to find it
before lunch.

Yes.

Just like
a regular courtroom.

Sit down.

Jesse, I don't want
to embarrass you,

But you're a straight-a
student, correct?

Yes. Well, I did
once get a b-plus
in algebra.

Thank you for your
complete honesty.

Jesse,

You were driving
mr. Micelli's van

At the time that it
was struck, correct?

Driving in what sense?

Driving, mr. Nash!
You know...

Beep beep beep beep.

Well, you know,
I was in the van.

I guess you could
kind of say i--

Stop! I can't
take it anymore.

Jesse, I can't
let you do this.

I was driving
the van.

Samantha!

What are you saying?

"Stop, I can't
take it anymore.

Jesse, I can't
let you do this."

I know what we said.

Samantha,
how could you do this?

Your honor,

Do you have a witness
protection program?

Hey, everybody,
how did it go?

We won.

Boy,
I never knew

Winning
could make you
so depressed,

But then again,

We always lose,
and I'm happy.

Well, off to
the slaughter.

Yeah....

Tony, you
haven't said a word
since the trial.

No, but that little
vein on his temple

Is doing situps.

Dad, don't
do this to me.

Please say something,
anything.

You can't see
jesse anymore.

Anything but that.

No, sam,
he's right.

Tony, you put
a lot of trust in me.

I let you down.

I was immature
and irresponsible
and dumb.

I'm really sorry.

Ah, jesse, that
was really nice.

I couldn't
have said it
better myself.

Now get out.

I guess this is it.

I'll miss you.

Goodbye, sam.

Bye, jesse.

See you
at school tomorrow.

Dad, I'm sorry.

This is absolutely
the worst thing
I've ever done.

I know.

You lied,
you broke the law,

And you could have
gotten yourself hurt.

Nobody's perfect.

I hope
you don't hate me.

I don't hate you,

But I'm very
disappointed in you.

I don't know
if I'll ever be able
to trust you again.

What?

Nothing.

It's what
you had to do.

Justice, untempered
with mercy,
has been served.

Jesse and samantha got
everything they deserve.

Tony, don't we all have
a couple of skeletons

In our teenage closet?

What's yours, dear,

Leaving the cap off
of your clearasil tube?

Oh, mother, that's
how much you know.

When I was 16,

Jane barth and I
bought fake i.d. Cards

And went to
the boom-boom room.

The boom-boom room?

That nightclub's
the biggest pickup
joint in town.

I know.

You used a fake i.d.
To get into a bar?

That's ill*gal.
I am aghast.

I am impressed.

Oh, what an adventure.

I had my first
real drinks,
two grasshoppers.

I danced with
a 24-year-old sailor,

And on the way out,
I threw up on my pumps.

Best night of my life.

Tony, we all do naughty
things when we're kids.

It's good practice
for when you're older.

You remember
when you stole
those street signs?

Yeah, the street signs.

That's not as bad
as the time i--

Never mind.

Come on.
What, what, what?

No, no. It's--
it's too embarrassing.

Let's forget it
and hope the police have,

And the coast guard.

The coast guard?

Just some frogmen
and a mine sweeper.

Hey, nobody got hurt.

Boy, was my old man mad.

I'll never forget it.

It was on my birthday.

I was supposed to get
this beautiful bike

From sears-roebuck.

I loved that bike.

What happened?

My father
was all over me,

And then he chewed me
inside out and...

Then he gave me the bike.

Dad, I need
to talk to you.

Come on, angela.

Say, is the boom-boom room
still open?

You know how you said

You may never
be able to trust me?

Well, sam,
you know, never...

Never's a long time,
you know.

Uh, well, I was
upstairs thinking,

And I came
to a decision.

I'm going to win
your trust back.

You know, it
could take a while.

I'm young.

I've got time.

Hey, sam, let me
ask you a question.

So how did you
like driving

For the first time
in your life?

It was great.

That's what
I was afraid of.

[Theme from dragnet plays]

Freddie smith was convicted
of reckless driving.

His license
was temporarily suspended.

He was forced to deliver
suppers for seniors

On his skateboard.

Jesse nash had
his license suspended

For allowing
an unlicensed driver

To operate a vehicle.

He was given visitation rights
to samantha micelli

One day a week, three hours,
under maximum security.

Samantha micelli cannot
apply for her driver's license

Until three months
after her 16th birthday.

She was grounded
for six weeks

And banned from the clearance
sale at bloomingdale's.

Angela bower was sentenced

To two weeks
without chocolate cake

For making fun of her
housekeeper's middle name,

Morton.