05x03 - Nineteen Again

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer:
♪ there's a time for love ♪

♪ and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

Ah...

What a day
at the office.

I am exhausted.

Mother, all you did was answer
six phone calls.

I know. They kept
waking me up.

Ooh, what
have we here?

A letter from
a fraternity.

Pi delta gamma, no less.

If that's for me,
tell them I already gave.

It's for tony.
I wonder what they could want.

Mona: hmmm. I find
that light works better.

Hello, hello, ladies.
Joe college is home.

Hubba hubba.

Well, hubba hubba
to you, too.

Oh, what are--
what are you up to?

Oh, nothing. Just leafing
through the mail.

Oh, this one's for you.

Oh.

Well, uh,

Why didn't you
steam it open?

Oh, we didn't have
enough time.

Aren't you gonna open it?
It's from pi delta gamma.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

It's an invitation
to a rush party.

They've been after me
all week, you know,

These frat guys
don't take no for an answer.

[Laughing]

Mona, not a word.

Oh, tony, you can
miss weddings,

You can miss funerals,
you can miss busses.

But you cannot miss
a frat party.

Yeah, well,
I'm missing this one.

I mean, I've got--
I've got tons of homework.

I've got to wash
the kitchen floors,

And I'm gonna can
some preserves.

Who are you,
aunt bea?

Look mona, I'm going
to college to study,

And to learn,
and get an education.

You sound like
such a bore.

And she should know.

That is right,
mother.

I, too, never took
my nose out of the books,

Never venturing out
of the library stacks.

And then I would look
at the kids,

And I would feel
so envious

Of their youthful,
reckless abandon.

Don't you feel like you ever
wanna be a part of that?

Well, you know, we--

You mean like when
I'm leaving on a friday,

And I see all those kids
tossing frisbees around

Without a--
not a care in the world,

Their stereos blasting,

And the smell of pizzas
being delivered.

Yes, exactly.

Never crossed
my mind.

Oh, tony, go. Live.

Take time to smell
the pepperoni.

Don't make
the mistake I did.

You're only
a college freshman once.

I--i know that, angela,

I know that
but I can't join a frat.

I mean, I'm too old.

I mean, granted,
I'm oozing boyish charm.

[Chuckles]

But--
but I wouldn't fit in.

Would i?

You would fit in
anywhere.

You are a regular
social lego.

Hmm.

I--you think i...

Mm-hmm.
Nah, forget--

Maybe i--
no, I don't think...

Mona: oh, please.

This is not exactly
sophie's choice.

Will you go
to the damn party?

All right, mona.
What the hell!

Uh, I'd go to the party.

What's the worst
that could happen?

I'll be
your date.

There's
your answer.

Mm-hmm.

How do I look?

Fine.

Fine?

What's wrong?

Dad, it's your hair.

It needs to be longer.

Oh, sam, I don't have time
to grow it.

Maybe if I just
try to fix it.

That's perfect!
That's it.

Just don't move
your head, okay?

Okay. Okay.
I'll just walk around like this.

Well, your date
is ready.

Oh, wow, awesome.

Dad, helpful hint
number two--

Don't talk
like a doofus.

What doofus? What?

Dad, awesome's been out
since brooke shields said it

On the bob hope special.
Tony: oh.

Right on.

I give up.

Hey, uh, hey,
wait a minute.

Angela,
I'm not sure about this.

I mean, what am I gonna say
to those frat guys?

You could always tell them
about me.

Yeah, yeah, I could tell them
you're living in a convent

In paraguay.

Hey.
Angela: hi.

So where you guys
going tonight?

Angela: to a college
fraternity party.

[Chuckles] no, really,
where are you going?

That's it. I'm staying.
No way. I'm not going.

No, no, no, no, no, no,
come here.

Come here, I want to show
you something.

Look.

Is that a dude,
or what?

Yeah, I'm a--i'm a dude.
[Laughs]

Hey, let's hit the
road, dudette.
What do you say?

Let's go to
college, huh?
There we go.

♪ boola boola ♪

♪ boola boola ♪

Geeks.

Totally.

Nice party, huh?
Oh, yes, it's very nice.

You want to go?

We've only been
here 15 minutes.

I know angela but
nobody's even talked to us yet.

Well, maybe we should
extend ourselves
a little bit more.

Hello there.
I'm...

[Scoffs]

My, it is
getting late.

I told you
this was a mistake.

We're out
of our element here.

We're--we're out
of our decade.

You know, if we leave now,
I can be in bed by 10:00.

That's a good idea.
Hi.

Mike greenspon
here.

Oh, hi.

Hey, tony micelli here,
and angela bower there.

So, uh,
is that your lady?

Uh...my lady?
No, actually, we just--

Hi, want to dance?

M-me?

Oh, well, uh...
Sure, why not?

I really don't have
to be in bed by 10:00.

We don't have to
decide that right now.

Hey, captain
good times,

Keep it
in neutral, huh?

Well, would you, uh,

Would you mind
holding my purse?

Mingle, mingle.

Hi.
Hi.

Nice purse.
Oh.

Um, I'm just holding it
for my boss.

Oh, is he here, too?

Uh, no, no, uh,
he's a she.

She's out there dancing.

Oh, so does this mean
you're available?

Well, I guess.

Well, I hope you don't
consider this too forward.

I mean, I don't usually
do this kind of thing.

Oh, no, I'm flattered,
actually. But--

I think you'd be
perfect for my mom.

Your mom.

Yeah.
How very thoughtful.

You're so nice.

Uh, could you me excuse me
for a second?

Angela!
I'm getting out of here.

Mingle, mingle.

[Both laughing]

You know,
you're very pretty.

Oh, uh, thank you,

But there's lots
of pretty girls here.

Yes, but there's
only one woman.

Pat:
tony "big t" tonester.

Where you've been?
Oh, hey pat.

"Big p" patster.
Where you've been?

I've been right here.
Ice run.

Why don't you put down the purse
and join the party.

See pat,
to tell you the truth,

It's getting kind of late,
you know.

Yeah, I know,
this party's a little slow.

We usually bowl [indistinct]
but we're on probation.

On probation, huh?

Yeah, but only for
another three weeks.

It was a small matter.
The dean's wife,

A polaroid,
and a brown envelope.

Huh?

Some people
are so touchy.

Yeah, well, go figure.

Hey, come on,
you gotta meet

The rest of your
fraternity brothers.

All right, okay.
Hey, guys.

I want you to meet my man,
the tonester.

This is the jokester,
the rickster

His date, the pamster,
and linda.

Linda?
What kind of name is that?

Tony, would be a real asset
to the gamma house.

He's smart, he's athletic,
he's old enough to buy beer.

Man: all right.
Easy. Easy

Are you the one that used
to play professional baseball?

Yeah, he played
for the cards?

We're talking
sports legend.

Well, I wouldn't say legend
but you can.

[Laughter]

I like this guy.

Um, look, I hope you don't
consider this too forward--

Whoa! Wait a minute.

Does--does this have anything
to do with your mom?

My mom?

Uh, no,
I just wanted to dance.

Oh, I knew that.
I knew that.

Hey, you're a pretty
good dancer.

Well, I'm okay.

h*!

Hey, show-off.

Hello there.

Having a good time?

Yeah, yeah, you know,
who would've thought it?

You were right.

You should listen to me
more often.

Yeah, I think I will,
I mean, I feel

So friday afternoon
on the quadish.

I mean, the only thing
that's missing

Is the smell
of pepperoni.

Man: the pizza's here.

I'm heaven.

All right.

Hey, you know what goes
great with pizza?

Yeah, vodka.

Yeah, whatever
this stuff is.

So tone, let me take you
a tour of the house.

We got a serious
pool table upstairs.

You play?

Well, I've chalked
a few cues in my time.

Want to come along?

Hi.

Hi.

No, thanks. I think
I'll just browse.

You're drooling, angela.

Oh, if mother
could see me now.

Oh, boys.

Hi.
Hi.

Angela, you gonna join us
for the chug-a-lugging?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No alcohol for me,
I'm driving.

Aw.
Aw.

Come on.
Come on.

Okay, okay
just to show you

I'm not
a party-pooper,

I'll join you,
but I'll have punch.

Okay.
All right.

Ready when you are.

Chug, chug, chug.
Chug, chug, chug.

Chug, chug, chug.
Chug, chug, chug.

Aah! I feel good!

Everybody swim.

Come on in.

The water's fine.

Hey, crank up
the soundtrack!

Hey!

Do the dog paddle!

Woof! Woof! Woof!

Backstroke!

Whoo!

Ooh! Whoo!

Dean brown!

Dean brown!

Dean brown!

All right, lady.
Get down.

You heard the man.
Get down! Get funky!

Do the breaststroke.
Whoa!

That's enough.
Out of the pool.

Out of the pool.

I can hear this party
all the way down at my house.

All right.

This is a blatant violation
of your probation.

Loud music,
drinking,

And worst of all,
and an exotic dancer.

Hold it!

Hold it, bunky.

Are you saying
I look like a stripper?

Yes.

Why, thank you.

You people
don't seem to understand.

Well, I warn you
this is the last straw.

Come on, dean.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, how dare you come in
and rain on my parade.

Meese are me
and my buddies.

Just who do you think
you are?

Who am i?

I'm the man who's
seriously considering

Revoking this
fraternity's charter.

Ohhhh.
Come on.

You wouldn't
do that,

Would you, cuddles?

Ooh, you're so cute.

I wanna take a polaroid
of you. Oh!

That does it.

Consider
your charter revoked!

Aw!
Aw!

Oh, loosen up.

Look, here, you're so tight.
The tie's so tight.



Officer!

Take this lady
to the security office.

Hey, hey, hey, I'm not...
Come on. Let's go.

Attica! Attica!

Attica! Attica! Attica!

What a bummer.

I love that table.

Oh, I got to
tell you, pat.

I love the table.

I love the house,
I love the guys.

This is one
great fraternity.

It was. There's
no fraternity anymore,

Thanks to your date.

What? Angela? Where is she?
What happened?

She told the dean off,
she got busted

And she got
our charter revoked.

Is this going to affect me
becoming a gamma guy?

Campus security
officer's log,




After receiving several
complaints of rowdiness

At the pi delta
gamma house,

I proceeded
to investigate

And found...
Rowdiness.

I have detained
one individual,

Female, who--

♪ we got to get out
of this place ♪

♪ if it's the last
thing we ever do ♪

Will you stop?

♪ stop, in
the name of love ♪

♪ before you
break my heart ♪

Hey, hey, hey.
Stop, stop! Hey, hey!

You can't do that.

This is
no joking matter.

I demand
to see the warden.

Warden!

Warden!

Oh, hi, warden.

Anybody ever tell you
you look just like tony?

Only he smiles more.

Angela...

Tony...

Uh, look, officer,
I apologize for her.

Uh, I better
get her out of here.

Do I have to sign something
to get her released?

Not so fast.

I have some more forms
to fill out.

You two stay here.

Angela, I'm shocked.
I'm appalled.

I'm getting out
of here.

No angela.
You can't do that, angela.

Tony.
You can't do that.

They can
lock up our bodies,

But they cannot
cage our spirit.

No angela!
Would you get down from there!

Close the window.

Well, what have we here,
the great escape?

[Chuckles] officer,
I can explain.

♪ you're in trouble ♪

♪ you're in trouble ♪

[Dramatic music playing]

Ohh...

All right now, angela.
Just take it easy.

And don't try to move

Until you think
you're ready.

I think,
I'm gonna be sick.

You're ready.

What are we
doing in jail?

[Scoffs]
think real hard.

Ow. It hurts.

Well, let me try
to refresh your memory.

According to legend,

Which you've
already become,

You danced on a table
shaking everything

In front of 37
very impressionable young men.

Everything?

Everything
but the tassels.

Then you f*ndled
the dean's cheeks,

Practically
undressing him,

Which caused him
to revoke

The fraternity's
charter.

Oh, tony,

I ruined everything
for you--

Your chance to be
in a fraternity,

To have the full
college experience...

What you must
think of me.

Well, you know, angela?
I don't know.

Because I've been living
with you for four years now.

And I never knew
you had

Such a fondness
for demon rum.

I take exception
to that.

All I had
was a little punch.

Come to think of it,
I had a lot of punch.

Oh, I think somebody
must have spiked it.

The punch?

Yeah.

Why...they spiked
the punch, so...

So you were just...
You were just a victim.

Yeah.

Why those dirty
little rotten...

I mean, you--
you could have been hurt.

You could have fallen
down a flight of stairs

Or gotten behind
the wheel of a car

Or taken off
more than your jacket.

You didn't, did you?

Of course not.

Boy, what a night!

Who'd have thought
back in 8:00

That when sam
messed up my hair,

That I'd end up like this.

It still looks good.

How about me?

You don't want to know.

You know, the last time
I did anything this crazy

Was when I went
to woodstock.

[Laughs]

Get outta here.

You went to woodstock?

Yeah, I went
to woodstock.

Peace, love,
flower power.

Well, I'm sorry angela

It's just a little hard
to imagine you grooving

To country joe
and the fish.

Who?

I thought
you were there.

I was. I did go.

I just never felt
I belonged.

And then I took one look
at the rain, and the mud,

And the line
for the bathroom.

And checked
into the nearest motel.

Even then,
the music was so loud,

I couldn't finish
my poli sci paper.

You brought homework
to woodstock?

Believe me, I've spent weeks
on this in therapy.

The pickett avenue
bus stop.

What?

I was just thinking,
you know.

When you were
a flower child,

I was a fish kid.

I was working
for mrs. Rosini's

At the fish market
in brooklyn.

Every morning,
I'd see those guys

On their way
to brooklyn college,

Waiting for the bus
across the street.

You know,
and they'd be having

Such a great time.
You know.

They'd look so cool

In their
corduroy jackets

You know, the ones--the ones
with the suede patches.

Oh, yeah.
Those were great.

And then I'd--i'd get
to daydreaming about

What would it be like
to be one of them.

And then I'd hear
mrs. Rosini screaming,

"Tony, those fish aren't
going to gut themselves."

Then I'd watch
the bus pull away,

And wish I was on it.

Oh, tony,

You had as miserable
an adolescence as I did.

Well,
it wasn't that bad.

I just missed college.

Well, I guess
it worked out okay.

I mean,
look where we are today.

Yeah. The big house.

Well, you know,
four years ago,

I never would have been able
to laugh about this.

Well, I'll tell you the truth,
i--i've come a long way myself.

You know, I'm the first guy
from my neighborhood

To get thrown into a holding
cell of higher learning.

Well, if I had to be
in the slammer with anybody,

I'm glad it's you.

Yeah, you probably say that
to all your cellmates, huh?

Right, bugsy.
Yeah, bugsy.

Bugsy.

Which of you
is the tonester?

That would be me.

Some visitors here
to see you.

Thanks, fredster.

Tone.

Tone, my man.
You're doing time.

Yeah.
What happened?

Figures.

Anyway, update
on the frat front--

Our probation's been
extended six months.

But the good news is

We're not gonna lose
our charter.

Angela: oh, I'm so glad.

When you're glad,
I'm glad.

We've talked to the dean
and told him,

We kicked out the guys
who spiked the punch,

Good.
So we are back in business.

All the bros
are behind you.

You're a lot
to be a gamma guy.

Oh, well, to tell you the truth,
pat, I've been thinking.

Maybe this fraternity stuff
isn't for me.

I don't get it.

What are you gonna do
for fun,

Hang out at home?

Yeah.

I'd stay at home too
if I had a wild woman like that.

Tony: [indistinct]

Come on, mikester.

The woman is trouble.

Hey, I happen to like trouble.

Um, tony, I don't--
I don't get it.

I thought you wanted
to be in a fraternity.

Eh.
What about the frisbee

And the stereo
and all the reckless abandon?

Well, I got a frisbee
and I got a stereo.

And you got
reckless abandon

Coming out
of your ears.

Besides, angela,
I mean,

If your life
is working,

Who wants
to be 19 again?

Oh, tony.

I really think
I'm going to be sick.

[Groans]

Tony: who's the boss?
will be back in a moment.

stick around.

Isn't this
a great jacket or what?

It's great. It's just--
it's so brooklyn college.

It's just
like tony described.

Yes.
We gotta find a great place

To put it
where we're sure he'll see it.

Hang it
by the mirror.

He's always
looking there.

Good idea.

Like right here?
Uh-huh.

Ready?
Okay.

Oh, tony, can you come down
here for a minute please?

Tony: angela, later.
I'm studying.

It's important.

What?

What's the matter?
What happened? What?

Notice
anything different?

You two got
your teeth cleaned?

No. Take another look.

Fingerprints.
Oh, no.

No, not the mirror.

The jacket.

Oh, wow.

Yeah?

Whoa.
Brooklyn college, huh?

Hubba hubba.

[Telephone rings]

It's great.

Ooh.

[Ring]

Hello.

Yeah, yeah. Hang on,
hang on, hang on.

It's mike greenspon.

Oh, those gamma guys
never give up.

Tell him I'm not here.

Excuse me, dear.
I think that's for me.

Hi, mike.

[Theme music playing]