05x12 - Ton-An Enterprises

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long,
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

Oh!

Darn!

Nah.

Wise choice.

Dad, can you
lend me 20 bucks?


Kidding me, samantha?

What did you do
with your allowance?

I'm wearing it.


For a t-shirt, samantha?



Sam.

Do you know
what this is, sam?

Do you know
what this is?

This is
earned money.

Earned money, sam.

You know how much vacuuming
I had to do to earn this money?

How many plates
I had to wash?

How many shirts
I had to iron?

Angela,
I'm underpaid.

Tony, for a guy
who considered

Goosing his boss
with a vacuum,

You're damn well paid.

Dad, look, I know I have been
spending a little bit--

A little, sam?
A little?

Come on, sam.
You know, when I was a kid,

I used to knock these things out
for about three bucks a piece.

What does that tell you?
You were selling them too cheap?

Sam, sam.
Look, look, look.

Your days
of walking in here

With frivolous,
unnecessary,

Overpriced items
are over.

Well, what exactly do you
consider overpriced?

Everything you buy.

Look, dad, just help me out
this one time

And I promise to get
my act together.

Sam, read my head.

Oh, sam!
It's so good to see you.

I got some of those peanut
butter brownies you like.

Want to share?

Thanks, jonathan.

Isn't it nice to see them
relating so well?

Yeah, yeah.
I don't buy it for a minute.

Oh, come on.

They're just acting
like brother and sister.

All right, sister,
your late with your payments.

But jonathan--
hey, no buts.

Cough up the dough
you borrowed

Or I'll tell tony
about the leather jacket.

Jonathan,
I need more time.

Time? Time, sam?

Time is something
you've run out of.

What can I do?
I asked my dad for 20 bucks

And he wouldn't
give it to me.



Sam, sam...

Sam, sam, sam...

You're into me
for 223 smackers.

Jonathan, do you know
what you are?

I'll tell you
what I am.

I'm your
worst nightmare.

Yo, little caesar,

You've been watching
too many gangster movies.

You got till monday.

Then I spill my guts
to the old man.

capisce?

Do you believe
this little bloodsucker?

It's an outrage.

Sorry I'm late
with my payment.

Whoa. Cool jacket.

Yeah, cool jacket.

Ooh, it's soft
like butter.

Yeah, like butter.

You know, I saw a picture
of madonna wearing one

Just like it,

Well, except there was
buttons instead of a zipper,

And it was brown
instead of yellow,

And it was corduroy.

I see.
So it was just like it.

Yeah. And don't worry,
I'll keep it safe and sound.

And unworn.

Just keep it
until I find a way

To tell my dad about it
and still live.

Yeah, still live.

Girls.

Oh, I just love
your new jacket, bonnie.

Girls, could you come
into the kitchen?

I need
a young hip opinion.

Okay, okay.
But I only got a minute.

Oh.

Ladies, ladies,
you're just in time

To sample
the spring line

Of the micelli
collection.

Dad, you made these?

Very hip!

Very chic!

Very me.

You see, sam?
You don't have to spend

A lot of money
to be in style.

Yeah, especially
when they're free.

You know, I almost bought
one of those last night,

But if I had spent $20
on a t-shirt,

My dad
would've k*lled me.

Yeah. My dad would've
k*lled me, too.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Well, girls,
here you are.

One for each
of you.

Oh, gosh. Thanks
bonnie: thanks, mr. Micelli.

You know, you should go
into business, mr. Micelli.

I bet these shirts
would sell like hot cakes.

-Yeah, like hot cakes.
-Yeah, like hot cakes.

Whoa!

Now, that
was so weird.

Well, great minds
think alike.

Bye, girls. Bye.

Hey, enjoy
the shirts.

Thanks. Bye.
Bye. Bye.

You know, tony,
bonnie and chatty cathy

Might have an idea here.

I mean, you could sell
these things somewhere

Like, um...
The fairfield flea market.

No. Mona, mona, please.
Let me tell you something.

Making one of these things
is not just a dip and a dye.

It takes
color coordination,

Split-second timing,

And intense
concentration.

You could make big bucks.

I could knock off
a few.

You could knock off
more than a few

If you had
a little helper

That you could pay
to make them.

Who'd want
to do that?

I would!

Dad, I could make them.
You could sell them.

We'd both clean up.

And I'd only charge
$1.00 a shirt

Up to the first 223.

Why 223?

Just a number.

And besides, all teenagers
need a creative outlet.

That's true, sam.
That's true.

But I'm not sure I want
to spend a saturday

Selling t-shirts
at some flea market you know.

Hey, I could help you.

I'm a terrific
salesperson.

Tony, you may not know
this about me.

But when I was in
the girl scouts,

I was known
as the cookie queen.

I thought
they called you

The pimple princess.

Mother, if you feel the need
to make derogatory jokes,

I suggest you inflict them
on someone else.

Fine.

Jonathan?

Did you hear that,
dad?

Cookie queen.

Yeah, well, you know
I don't like to brag,

But I used to be known
as the tie-dye king

Of euclid avenue.

Yeah, back in '68,
I peddled enough of these

To pay for a summer
in europe.

You went to europe?

Oh, no, no.
I never made it.

I blew the money on a night

With the benedetti twins.

But they did dressed up
like little dutch maidens

And we clog danced
all night.

So, what do you say?

Cookie queen?
Tie-dye king?

Is this the making
of a royal partnership?

I say so be it.

I say so be it.

Great! It be!

Tony! Tony, look at this!
Check this out!

Snow cones,

Cotton candy,

Ice cream!

And did you look
down that aisle?

What is it?
What?

Corn dogs.
All right!

And now,
I have an announcement to make.

Is it lunch?

No, no, no, no.

Ton-an enterprises

Is officially
open for business.

Ta-da!

Perfect, partner!

Now it's just
a little more perfect.

Ahhh boy, this is great.
This is great, angela.

Here I am teaching sam a lesson
about the value of a dollar

And making
a few myself.

Not just a few.

I project a net
profit of $600.

Oh, I should teach sam
a lesson more often.

Yeah, right.

Hey.
Uh, what are you doing?

I'm color coordinating.

You see, having a display
that is pleasant to the eye

Is very important
marketing strategy.

It's just a thought.

Oh, well. It's a good thought,
it's a good thought.

But, you know,
angela in a place like this,

You know, people like
to see things all jumbled up.

They think
they're getting a bargain.

That's
an excellent point.

But you know,
that's excellent.

But do you know what?

I bet you that we could
have a neat display,

And people would still think
they're getting a bargain.

Okay.
Well, perhaps you're right.

By all means,
do it your way.

Only if you want me to.

No, no, no. I insist.
You sure?

Do it!

Excuse me.
I'd like to buy this.

Oh, that's a lovely choice

Yes. That will
be $10 please.

Okay. Here you go.
Thank you.

Yes and thank you very much
and come again.

Yes. Please come again.
Tell all your friends about us.

Yeah. One more thing,
thanks a lot.

It's our first sale.

No.

Well, we're on our way.

Tony, it's just a thought.

Next time, hold back
a little on the gratitude.

Thank you, angela.
Thank you.

Thank you. Oh, gosh.
Thank you.

Warm up
the cash register.

These guys are looking

For something
in a t-shirt.

Yeah, yeah,
and I think it's you.

Mona, do me a favor.

Take this money--
right.

No, no, no. Now, wait a minute!
I'm not done yet.

Aw, damn.

Get me some change.

Right away.
Okay.

Tony.
Yeah.

Just a thought. Do you think
it was a good idea

To send mother
to get change?

I don't know. Maybe we
should've held a board meeting.

I just meant that
sometimes

Mother has a tendency
to wander.

[Indistinct] come on.
Have some faith. Will you?

All right.
Go ahead. Coordinate.

Ahem. Ahem.

Hey, go get the-- go get
the change!

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen.

Step right up.
Get your red hot t-shirt.

None the same.
Each one different,

Each one like a precious
snowflake.

Tony, tony.
Yeah.

This is just a thought.

You probably want
to turn it down.

You're not drawing a crowd
for bo-bo, the dog-face boy.

Oh, why not.
Maybe he'll buy you a t-shirt.

Hi!

How much?

$10.
Gee. I don't know.

That's awfully high,
ain't it?

It is art.

Well, even for art.

I mean, I got a velvet
elvis for 6,

And it's autographed.

Angela, here.
Let me handle this will you.

Let me handle this.
And, hey, watch my smoke.

Hey, what's your name?
Steve.

Hey.
That's my name, too!

Hey, steve.
Art schmart, right?

You want the shirt.

I want to sell you
the shirt.

I'll tell you what
I'll do.

Don't tell my partner.

I give it to you
for 8 bucks.

Sold.
Bingo. All right.

Oh, wait, wait, wait!
$1.00 too much.

You know me--
honest tony.

I mean, steve.

Okay.

Nice work, partner.

You just blew
our profit margin by 50%.

So, what, angela?
We still made money.

And now there's another guy
out there wearing our product.

It's called advertising.

Maybe you heard of it?

Tony.
Yeah.

I have forgotten more
about advertising

Than you will ever know.

Well, maybe you've
forgotten too much.

Maybe you
have forgotten

That I am
the cookie queen.

How could i,
your highness?

You know, angela,
you are starting

To be a royal pain
in the...

What? What? What?

Go on, say it! Say it!

Where am I a royal pain?

Huh? Huh?
In the butt!

Butt! Butt! Butt! Butt!

Well, you can
kiss it goodbye!

Oh, I don't need
this aggravation!

And I don't need you
to second-guess my every move!

And I don't need you
to straightened my sign.

You mean, our sign!

Why, you...

Hi, hi.

Forget the change.

Oh, what change?



Don't worry. You're going
to get your money.

Dad, what are you doing
back so soon?

Turn off
the stove, sam.

Ton-an enterprises
is defunct.

What? You quit?

You can't quit. You have to go
back. We had a deal.

Sam, the dream is over.

You mean nightmare.

Your luck
just ran out, missy.

We'll talk.

Dad, this isn't you.

You don't give up.

Winners never quit,

And quitters never win.

Don't take the "sell"
out of micelli.

Sam. Sam, please, please.

I know you were excited
about making all the money.

Yes, and it would have been a
great character builder for me.

You're sure you can't sell
the rest of those t-shirts?

Let me tell you
something, sam

If I wanted to,

I could sell all these
t-shirts like that.

Ha ha ha!
You know, sam.

Some people think they
can sell shirts like that,

While others,
in the real world,

Prove daily that they
can actually sell like...

This!

Wait a minute, angela.
Wait a minute.

Are you saying that
if we went head-to-head,

You could outsell me?

Like this.

Oh, did you hear that,
dad?

Yeah, I heard it.
I heard it.

And I still
don't believe it.

I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what.

Angela, we still got
the booth for tomorrow.

We still got
all these t-shirts.

Sam, would you mind
dyeing the rest of them?

Oh, I don't know.

Just to prove
this childish point?

We'll split
the inventory in half.

Whoever sells out first
at no less than $10 a shirt

Is queen.

And long
may he reign.

Huh!
Huh!

Thank you.

Step right up, folks,

And come to crazy tony's
morning madness sale.

That's right,
ladies and gentlemen.

Every shirt
is marked down to $10.

Just $10.

My friends say,
"tony, you're crazy,"

And I say, "maybe so,
but every shirt must go."

Real subtle.

Subtle don't pay
the rent, sweetheart.

Bonjour.

Welcome to angela's.
I'm angela.

Would you care
for a croissant?

Oh, oh.

Croissants.
I'm shaking.

Hi.

You have
children's sizes?

Oh, we most
certainly do.

Step right up, folks,

And come to crazy tony's house
of nonflammable t-shirts,

Where safety
comes first.

Excuse us.

Hi there, folks.
Hi there.

Shop at crazy tony's
nonflammable t-shirts

For this little boy.

What do you say--
nonflammable?

Are you--
da da da da!

Are you insinuating that
my shirts are flammable?

I never said they were.

Okay. Okay.
New ground rule.

No insinuating that your
opponent's merchandise

Could burst into flames.

Okay, okay.
Fair enough.

I might have crossed
over the line with that one.

Hello.
Welcome to angela's.

All of our products
are hypo-allergenic.

I can't believe
you'd stoop

To such
a cheap gimmick.

Well, that's all, kids.

That's it for
the captain tie-dye show.

Don't forget to tell
your friends

To come see the captain
tie-dye show,

Which is starring
captain tie-dye

And his pal pokey.

Children: yay!

Tony: don't forget.

Tell your parents to buy
lots and lots of shirts

Because the word
today is what?

Children: volume!

Tony: good!

Okay. Let's sell
some shirts here.

What do you say? Hey!

Hey, what do you say?
Thank you! h*!

You have no shame.

And soon I'll have no shirts.

You haven't won yet.

Hey, yale.

Me, too.

Med school,
class of '73, pediatrics.

Oh, class of '76,
psychiatry.

You want to buy
a t-shirt?

Well, maybe.

Hey.

What's up, doc?

Well, hello there.

Hello.

I just thought
that this t-shirt

Would probably pick up
the gold flecks

In your eyes.

You think so, huh?

Oh, of course I do,
you silly boy.

Hi there.
You know, that t-shirt

Would really pick up the
blue flecks in your eyes.

Hey, it's okay.
I'm a doctor.

You see,
it's preshrunk, you see,

And then it just--it pops right
back to its original size.

That's because of the
miracle of memory yarn.

Yeah.

Well, I hate
memory yarn.

How can you hate memory yarn,
it doesn't even exist.

Way to close
a sale, ton.

I don't want
to make you nervous,

But I have two, count them,
one, two shirts left.

What is that I smell?

Could it be victory?

Hi there,
little girl.

Hi. This is kind
of pretty.

Yes.
Excuse me, little girl.

There are other
colors over here.

This is kind of pretty,
too.

Oh, yes. You would look
very nice in purple.

Yes, but I think you'd
look very nice in yellow.

Uh, yes, but it's
one girl to another,

I think purple
is prettiest.

Well, I think
the prettiest is yellow.

I'm confused.

Look!

This isn't
a tough decision.

If you want the
prettiest shirt,

You want purple.
No, no, no.

You want yellow.
You want purple.

You want yellow.
You want purple.

You want yellow.
Purple.

I want my mommy!

How about blue?

Tony,
what have we done?

I don't know but...

I just hope that big woman she's
talking to ain't her mother.

We just sent a little girl
away in tears--

A sweet,
innocent little girl--

And all because
we got caught up

In this stupid contest.

What kind of people
are we?

We're scum, angela.

At least,
that's how I feel.

I mean,
the kid had pigtails.

Well,
will you look here.

The king and the queen

Have sold almost
all the t-shirts.

All right. Payday.

Yeah, payday.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Since when are you so happy when
somebody else is getting paid?

We've become
very close.

Wait a minute. Sure, sure.
What's up here?

Nothing's up.

Why would you think
something's up?

There's nothing up.

Something's up.

Yeah, I smelled a rat ever
since you two shared
your brownies.

Spill it.
Hey, it's not me.

I didn't do anything.
It's sam. She bought
a leather jacket.

I just loaned her
the money.

I'm innocent I tell you.

You ain't going to pin
this rap on me.

Way to hang
tough, kid.

Dad, you always said
I could buy what I want

If I earn my own
money.

Yeah, but sam I didn't say
you could borrow,

Deceive,
and manipulate to get it.

Oh, yeah.

Sam, let me ask
you a question.

You k*lled yourself--you
k*lled yourself

Dyeing shirts
for two nights and now,

You're going to be grounded
for a week.

A week?
Could be two.

A week is good.

I mean, was it all worth it
for a piece of leather?

Oh, yeah.

All right.
Okay. Go ahead.

Here.

Pay your loan shark.

Thanks, doll face.

The movie's over.

Come on.

Oh, those kids.

They'll never learn.

Mother, did you know
something about--

No. No, no. I'm innocent,
I'm innocent. I tell you.

You ain't going to pin
this rap on me.

Screws.

Do you believe this?

Do you believe because
of their little scam,

We've been out here
working like dogs

And at each other's
throats.

Was that an apology?

I guess.

I accept.

What about you?

I don't know.
I guess.
I accept.

Well, what do you say.
Pack up and go home?

I think I'll stick around
and sell the rest of my shirts.

Okay, okay. Well, here.

Why don't you sell
these, too?

All right. I'll sell them.
But wait a minute.

I'm going to pay you
for them.

Oh, come on.
You don't have to do that.

No. No, no, no. Please. Please.
Business is business.

Please don't bother.
Take the money.

All right.

Sold! I won! I won!
I won! I won! I won!

I won!

Tony: who's the boss?
Will be back in a moment.

stick around.

♪ see the crowd ♪

♪ and you watched it grow ♪

Tony: oh!

[Theme music playing]