05x16 - Party Double

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ nights are long
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

Mother, I think you're taking
this much too personally.

Ha!

How can I
give you a raise?

You don't
take dictation.

You hate the file.

You question
everything I say.

Oh, do i, angela?

Do I really?

There!
You did it again.

You have
no respect for me.

You know,
if you want a raise,

You are going to have to start
to learn that I'm the boss

And you're the secretary.

Well, we're home now.

I'm the mother,
and you're the daughter.

So bug off.

And you've had
a piece of tuna fish

Stuck between your teeth
since lunch,

And everybody knew it.

Oh, please!

"I'm the boss and
you're the secretary."

"I'm the boss and
you're the secretary."

Aah!

What happened? What?

Do know what this is?

No. But you know you've got
a piece of tuna fish stuck...

I and a guest
have been invited

To premiere gala event
of the season--

It's the annual
dinner dance

Of the new york
committee for the arts.

That's a hot ticket.

It will be swarming with rich,
famous, exciting people.

I should be there.

I'm sorry, mother.

I should be
escorted by a man.

Oh, I don't know, angela,

You know, I've never been
to a celebrity

Chichi, froufrou things.

I live for froufrou.

Ah, go ahead,
angela.

Take your mother.

She deserves it.

I do. I do. I do.

Well, you would have
a good time.

The guest of honor's
frank sinatra.

Forget her!

Take me!
Take me!

She doesn't
deserve a damn thing.

Hey!

Hey what, hey?

Hey look, I got
to meet sinatra.

I'm his biggest fan.

Oh, you hold it, buster.

I'm a much bigger fan
of sinatra's than you are.

Are you kidding?
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?

Where was he born?

Hoboken.
What's his middle name?

No, no, albert, albert.
All right.

Who did he beat out
for his oscar-winning role

Of maggio in
from here to eternity?

Eli wallach.

What sammy cahn
song did he sing

In his movie
a hole in the head?

Please! Don't insult me.

♪ just what makes
that little old ant ♪

♪ think he'll move
that rubber tree plant ♪

♪ everyone knows
an ant can't ♪

♪ move a rubber
tree plant ♪

♪ but he had
high hopes ♪

♪ he had
high hopes ♪

Tony, please.

I have to see frank.

We met.
Ha!

When I threw him my bra
at carnegie hall in '69.

He knows me.

No. Yeah, right.
He knows you.

Who do you think
the stranger was

In
strangers in the night?

♪ doobie doobie do ♪

Oh, please.

Okay. Okay!

I've made
my decision.

Just remember who gave you
the gift of life.

Just remember who
got that stain out

Of your favorite
silk blouse.

Mother...

I think I should be
escorted by a man.

All right!

♪ fairy tales
can come true ♪

♪ it could've
happened to you ♪

♪ but beyond that-- ♪

Uh, mother, has bergdorf's
delivered my dress yet?

Oh, great, rub my nose
in the fact

That I'm not going
to the sinatra party tonight.

I just wanted to know
if my dress was here.

Do you see a dress?

I don't see a dress.

[Telephone ringing]

Angela, telephone.

Mother, I have work to do.

Besides, it's your job.

Oh, I forgot.

You're the boss
and I'm the secretary.

Bower agency.

Oh, hold, please.

For you.

It would have
been a lot easier

If you just picked it
up yourself.

Delivery for ms. Bower.

Mona:
oh, I'll take that.

Red is not her color.

Uh... Ahem.

Beat it.

Mother, palmer wants to toss out
the entire campaign.

I gotta go to boston
and talk to him.

Call the hotel,
the car rental, and the airline.

Wait, that means
you won't be back
for the party tonight.

I know. I know.

Oh... Oh, my dress.

Oh...

I look so great in red.

Oh, well...

Tell tony I'm sorry.
I'll call him.

I'll go in your place.

No, you won't.

The ticket
is nontransferable.

That means you can't use it.

Make those calls.

Hello, bergdorf's?

You know that dress
you just delivered

For angela bower?

Could you shorten it
and let it out...

A lot?

Okay, since
mona's paying,

You get to pick
the restaurant and the movie.

Great.
On two conditions--

One, you don't sit next
to me in the restaurant

Two, you don't sit
next to me in the movie.

Sam, am I paranoid,

Or do you not like me?

Oh, jonathan...

You're not paranoid.

[Tony hums new york, new york]

Oh... Not again.

[Humming]

♪ start spreadin' the news ♪

♪ i'm leavin' today ♪

♪ i want to be
a part of it ♪

♪ new york ♪

♪ new york ♪

Dad, why do you have to keep
singing those old songs?

♪ 'cause it's... ♪

♪ witchcraft ♪

♪ that cuckoo
witchcraft ♪

Dad, if you don't stop it,
I'm gonna start singing

Ozzy osborne's songs.

♪ hey, ozzy ♪

♪ that cuckoo ozzy ♪

♪ that dude's got class ♪

That's it.
We're out of here.

Later, frankie.

♪ make it one
for my baby ♪

♪ and two more
for the road ♪

Ciao, baby.

♪ those fingers
in my hair ♪

♪ that-- ♪

Oh!

Ring-a-ding ding!

And ding! Yourself.

It just
doesn't seem fair,

I mean, angela stuck in boston
on business when...

We look this fabulous!

Don't worry
about angela.

The last thing
she said to me was,

"Take the tickets.
Go. Have a good--

God, I do look fabulous!

Woo!

Oh, I'll tell you what we do.

Let's call her
and thank her for tonight.

No!

We don't want to remind her
of the fun she's missing.

It would be cruel.

You're right.
You're right.

Hey,
let's get going.

I don't want to
keep frank waiting.

Oh, me either.
And dinner's at 8:00.

♪ she gets too hungry
for dinner at 8:00 ♪

♪ she loves the theater ♪

♪ and never comes late ♪

♪ oh, she'll never bother ♪

♪ with people she hates ♪

♪ that's why that lady
is a tr*mp ♪

Hey!

Who are you
calling a lady?

Oh!

Whoa! Look at
all the security!

Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know,

You need that
at this kind of bash.

Don't you think,
you got your politicians,

Your foreign ambassadors,
your movie stars,

Your housekeepers.

Excuse me.
Aren't you somebody?

You'll bet your life.
I'm somebody.

I'm a--i'm a loving father,

A loyal friend,
and an honest man.

What a waste of a flash.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?

Well, do you know
who frank beat out

For his oscar winning role of
maggio in from here to eternity?

All: eli wallach.

Yeah. Tough room.
Come on.

You can't do this to me.
You know who I am?

It doesn't matter.
Read the ticket, pal.

It's nontransferable!

Mona...

Mona,
let me see that ticket.

No. It will
just upset you.

Give me that.

Mona, this ticket
is nontransferable.

Angela didn't
give it to you, did she?

Well...

Mona! God is going
to get us for this.

Oh, god's not here.

Want to bet?

Father.

Angela bower and guest.

Bower... Bower.

Go right ahead.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Would you come on?

Oh, wait a minute.
Why do I have to go first?

In case
we get caught.

Just kidding.
It's a party.
Lighten up.

All right.

[Metal detecetor beeps]

Go right ahead, sir.

Oh, thank you.

I feel so safe.

[Metal detecetor beeps]

Thank you.

No. Thank you.

Would you please go inside?

Oh, oh, oh...

I have arrived.

Mona, mona,
what you did outside,

It was--it was wrong.

It was deceitful.
It was immoral.

But who cares?
I'm going to meet frank.

Excuse me. But, uh...

Did I hear correctly?
And are you angela bower?

Uh, who wants to know?

Well, I'm donald crenshaw
of crenshaw and simmons

Advertising out of chicago.

Oh, of course.

Chicago!

Oh, I've been a longtime
admirer of yours.

Just call me ange.

Excuse me... Ange.

Look! There's frank.

Where?
Where?

Mona: where was i?

Hello!

I'm home early!

Account saved!

Anybody?

All right.

Oh.

Kirstie macneil: and turning
to entertainment news,

here's kirstie macneil

reporting live
from the terrace room

where the new york
committee for the arts

is holding its gala party.

Oh!

debra, new york's glitteratti

are anxiously
awaiting the arrival

of the guest
of honor--frank sinatra.

wait a minute.
Did you say frank's here?

he arrived?

oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

Tony?

meanwhile,
the rich and famous

are kicking up
their heels.

Mother!

Hey, anybody
seen sinatra yet?

Uh, yeah, I think
he's over there.

Tony: wait. Over there?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Uh...

Oh, damn!

You're no
prize either, pal.

Well, I could give you
a prize.

Angela, there's a question
I've got to ask you.

The answer is yes.

No, on the hanson
campaign,

Why did you decide
to emphasize magazine ads?

Well, i...

I guess I just knew
my target audience.

And which was who?

Magazine readers?

Angela, that's cute,
but really,

I'm interested
in the demographics.

Oh, and who could
blame you?

Uh... May i?

Uh, of course,

But I'm not done
with you yet.

Oh, lucky me.

What is it
with this guy?

He thinks
I'm into advertising.

Well, I wonder
why... Ange.

Come on, tony.

Come on.

Have you had
any luck with frank?

I'm starting to think
this isn't going to happen.

I mean, it reminds me
of when I was 6 years old

And I waited all day long
on a line

To get into the bozo
the clown show.

And then, just as
I was at the door,

Bozo himself slammed
the door in my face.

The wound
has never healed.

Donald: angela!

Oh, hide me.

Angela, I'd like you to meet
joseph and beverly fiske.

And joseph here is chairman of
the business department at nyu.

Mona: hello.

And beverly's editor
of marketing today.

How do you do?
Hello, how are you?

Donald: we've heard
so much about you.

I'd like
to introduce my friend--

I mean client.

But then,
all my clients are friends.

Tony micelli.

Hello.

What business
are you in?

President
of air sicily.

buon giorno.

So, you're awfully young

To be president
of an airline, aren't you?

Uh... No speak
the english.

conosco l'italiano
molto bene.

Did I mention
he's deaf, too?

Man: hey, I hear frank
just pulled up!

Hot dog!
Excuse me.

It's a miracle.

Hello,
I'm angela bower.

You're already here.

No. You see, I was called
out of town suddenly.

My mother took my tickets
without my permission.

And you let her in.

Obviously,
you were lax.

You're right.
Security!

Yeah.
Wait, wait.

I am the real
angela bower.

Oh, this is all
my mother's fault.

Man: lady, save it
for your therapist, will you?

Stan: lucille, wait!

Stan, if I catch you flirting
with one more tr*mp,

I'm leaving.

Stan: it'll never happen again.
I promise.

That does it!

Hi, stan.
Let's go to that party.

Come on.

Okay.

So, angela,
uh, what are your plans

For the air sicily
campaign?

Oh, you know, uh...

A little of this,
a little of that.

Fabulous stuff, really.

Great slogan.

Oh, we'd love
to hear it, angela.

Yes
you would.

Air sicily...

How bad could it be?

Oh, mother.
You little minx, you.

Oh, boy.

Oh, yes.

This is my daughter
mona robinson.

How do you do?
How do you do? Hello.

Your mother
was about to tell us

Her real slogan
for air sicily.

Oh,
really, really.

I can hardly wait.

Okay.

Air sicily--
don't leave rome without it.

That's great.
That's really terrific.

Thank you.
Thanks, thanks.

I need to speak
to my mother alone.

Would you
excuse us a moment?

Certainly.

I have never been so angry
with you in my entire life.

That's a very good
slogan.

I can't believe you lied.
You used my name.

You let out my dress...

A lot!

Did you just make that up
off the top of your head?

Oh, stop. Stop trying
to change the subject.

You're good.

Well, it's about time
you realized that.

I did.

Tonight.

And I'm supposed
to believe that.

Yes. It's a lot easier
to fit into your dress

Than your shoes.

Thank you.

You're wearing
my shoes, too?

They go
with your bag.

If you ever, ever pull
a stunt like this again,

You're fired.

Got it.

Boss.

Excuse me.

How did
you get in here?

I'm with stan.

Stan who?

I don't know.

Stan!

Stan!

All right,
let's go.

No, hey, wait a minute.
Hold it, bub!

I'm the one
you should throw out.

This is the real angela bower.

Yeah. Come on.

Hey, hey,
he's here, he's here!

She's here!

What are
you doing here?

Mona: tony, tell the nice
gentleman who we really are.

Uh...

Yeah, well...

Well, she's, uh...

She's angela,
and, uh,

And she's...
I forget your name?

Angela.

Right. Yes, of course,
she's angela, too.

They're both angelas.
Hi, girls.

Ha ha!

All right. That's it.
You're all out of here.

Oh, but wait a minute,
I never got a chance

To see frank sinatra.
And you never will, bozo.

Oh, please don't say bozo.

Wait a minute.
There he is! That's him!

Did you--did you see him?

Come on. Come on.
This is a lost cause.

Now, let's get
out of here.

Here.
And you take
this ticket,

Go to the alley
and get the car.

Go, right,
and we'll go get the coats.

But I want to see
frank sinatra.

I know.

Right, right there.

Ugh.

Here.

Yeah, please.
Club soda, huh?

Thank you.

♪ regrets ♪

♪ i've had a few ♪

Hey, excuse me. Would you
hand me a napkin, please?

Hey, what's the matter?
Your arm broke?

Oh, my god. It's you.
Here, have the whole stack.

Thanks very much.
Thank you.

Some idiot
dropped a drink

All over my coat.

Oh, wait a minute.
Mr. Sinatra, wait,

Don't do that.
No, no.

The trick is
to use club soda.

And you pat.
You don't rub.

There you go, sir.

It might shrink.

Oh, mr. Sinatra.

Mr. Sinatra,
i--i've seen all your movies.

I've seen every
tv show--

You know,
our town 1955.



No, I know every song
you recorded by heart.

By heart, intonations,
everything.

But there's always been
one question.

I've been dying
to ask you

What?

How does it feel

To be worshiped
and adored

By millions
and millions of women?

Nice.

I knew it!

Let me buy you
a drink.

Mona: do you see
what I see?

I don't believe it.

Oh, oh, girls.

Frank, this is
angela and mona.

Oh, it's an honor,
mr. Sinatra.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Ring-a-ding
ding ding.

Oh,
mr. Sinatra!

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

I remember you.

Carnegie hall,


I threw you
an undergarment.

It was a very large
undergarment, if I remember.

I think so, yes.

Listen, shall we go?
Sure.

Come on, ladies,
let's go.

Oh.
Oh, thank you.

I did it my way.

Tony: who's the boss?
Will be back in a moment.

stick around.

Mona: h*!

Ohh, this has to be

The most memorable
night of my life.

I got to admit,
seeing old blue eyes

Left me bewitched,
bothered, and bewildered.

Well, forget
the two of you because

I went from
"hey, kid" to "pal"

In one night.

It took dean martin


How'd it go?

Yeah.
Did you get to see frank?

Did I get to see frank?

Let me tell you,
I took a stain out of his lapel.

We had a couple
of drinks together,

We had dinner,
and then I sang a duet with him.

I sang with frank sinatra.

Singer :
♪ doesn't like crap games ♪

♪ with sharpies and frauds ♪

♪ won't go to harlem ♪

♪ in lincolns or fords ♪

♪ won't dish the dirt ♪

♪ with the rest
of the broads ♪

♪ that's why the lady ♪

♪ is a tr*mp ♪

Girl: oh, yeah. Oh, my--