06x24 - Beautician Heal Thyself

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

[Doorbell rings]

Hold on.

He's here.

Okay. I just have
to dot the "i".

Okay, I'm ready.

Angela: here he is
the valedictorian

Of the american beauty
college class of...

April.

Tony: hey!
Not to mention dean's list

In cutting and curling.

Oh, and they say
our educational system

Can't compete with the japanese.

Well,
look who's here--

The beautician
and the beast.

Mona, I didn't expect
to see you here.

The sixth fleet
is in town.

Why do you think
they're here?

So, al, do you have
any jobs lined up?

Oh, better still.

I've decided to become
the master of my own fate.

I'm following my dreams.

I'm opening up
my own salon.

Tony: hey. All right.
Angela: that's great.

Hey, someone's got to keep
brooklyn beautiful.

Hey, how do you
like this guy, huh?

A graduate one day,
and entrepreneur the next, huh.

Way to go, al.

Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Tony: oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

You know, I love
to watch you work, al.

Al, how can you afford
to open up your own salon?

Oh, I cashed in my savings,
uh, I sold my bike,

I took out a loan.

Wow, your own salon--

Blondes,
brunettes, redheads.

Lots of redheads.

You like the old variety
there, huh, jonathan?

Hey, I'll take anything
I can get.

In honor
of this special day

I would like
to propose a toast.

To the person who kept me
out of trouble--

Oh, al...

Not you.

To the person
who kept me going

When things got tough.

Oh, al...

Not you.

To the person
who always believed in me.

Me?

Hey, who else?
Not just my friend, tony,

You're the big brother
I never had.

And without you, my dreams
wouldn't have never come true.

I love you, bro.

To mio fratello,

Tony.

Oh, aw, thanks, man.

Hey, I'm really touched.
That was great.

I think I'll go check
on the zucchini, huh.

Uh, me, too.

I'll help.

So, it would've k*lled you
to thank me, too?

Hey, I did your hair.

Are you all right?

Oh, yeah.
Sure, sure.

Hey, he thinks of me
as a--as a brother.

I mean , I always thought of him
as a little brother

But I never thought he thought
of me as a big brother.

You know what this means,
don't you angela?

You're brothers.

Yeah.

And hey, I don't take
this lightly, angela.

This is a--this is
a big honor

And a--and a big
responsibility.

Imagine,
me a fratello.

Oh, tony,
that is so beautiful.

fratello means brother,

Is that right?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And so,
if it wasn't for me,

Al wouldn't never
found the shop.

And if it wasn't
for me,

He never would've
picked

That orange-flocked
wallpaper, huh.

And if it wasn't for me--

This conversation
would be interesting.

She's always
in a hurry, that one.

All right, here we go.
Here we go.

So al, tell us all about
your new beauty shop.

Oh, see for yourself.

Come by tomorrow.
And I'll do your hair.

Oh, no,
I couldn't possibly.

Oh, armand has been
doing my hair

Since 1976.

He's the one
who originally

Diagnosed my hair.

It's schizophrenic,
temperamental, wavy,

Oily, dry, straight.
It doesn't even know--

Angela, ease up.
I won't do your hair.

I respect
professional courtesy.

I don't want to milk
armand's cow.

Armand will be grateful
to hear that.

Oh, don't
feel bad, angela.

He'll have plenty
of customers without you.

Yeah, I got a great
promotion planned.

Every friday is bat day.

You're giving away
baseball bats?

No, every old bat
that comes in

Gets a free perm.

Al. Al, bro.

Bro, look, just a little
piece of advice, you know.

Women they don't like
being called bats and cows.

They're funny that way.

Yes, so al how many
other people

Are gonna be working
in your shop?

None.
It's called
"mr. Al's,"

Not "mr. Al's
and other people."

Oh, but, al, everybody needs
somebody sometime.

Hey,
I know that quote.

Who said that?

Dean martin.

You got me, man.

Al, launching a new business
is a big enterprise.

There's lots of details,
to think of.

Yeah, who gonna
wash while you cut?

Who's gonna answer
the phone?

Who's gonna serve
the coffee, huh?

Who's gonna keep
the backdoor opens

Let the perm stink out?

You people are
starting to scare me.

Hey, don't be scared.
Big brother's here.

Until you find the guys you need
I'll be there.

Oh, tony, you're really
putting yourself

Out for me.

Hey, it's not--it's like
the man says--

"When somebody loves you,

It's no good unless
he loves you all the way."

Dean martin?

Frank sinatra.

Where did you find
that capuccino machine?

Out in the garage.

I'm gonna donate it
to al's salon.

Class the place up
a little bit.

That is so typical of you.

You know, you think
of everything.

You know, tony,
you are the most selfless,

Loving,
generous person I know.

Aw, shucks, ma'am,
'tweren't nothing.

One thing, though.

I'm a little
worried about al.

Do you think he has
the personality

To run a business?

I mean, that "bat day"
thing was scary.

Uh, he's a little rough
around the edges, angela

But that's because he hasn't
been around the public.

Tomorrow I'll give him
some pointers

See, that's just like
you--give, give, give.

Well, I know what
he's going through angela.

You know,
it kinda reminds me

Of my first week
in the majors.

Boy, talk about being
scared

I was overwhelmed.
I wanted to quit.

How did you get through it?

Couple of stewardesses
from omaha.

Oh, wait a minute,
I'm sorry.

I know they hate that.

Flight attendants.

And could they attend.
Oh, boy.

They lived
over the bar

Down the street
from where we had

Spring training

Oh, boy .one night,
me and noreen--

Okay, tony.
I get the point.

I'm sure they were
a tremendous source

Of emotional support
for you.

Yeah, well, good times
aside though.

It would have been
a lot better

If I had a with
a big brother to turn to.

Oh, come on.

Oh, no really,
you know what happened?

Noreen didn't wanna
share me with ida.

So if I said to say

There was a huge
cat fight

At the omaha airport,

I'm talking,
hair flying all over.

I think I've heard enough, tony.

You know,
they court-martialed them.

I didn't even know you could
court-martial stewardesses.

Okay, tony.

Stripped their wings,
left them humiliated,

And all for a pretty face.

And how do you think
a big brother

Could have prevented
this fiasco?

Oh, he could have taken
ida off my hands.

Hairspray.
Hairspray.

Whisk broom.

Whisk broom.

Scissors.

Just kidding.

Just kidding.

Hi.

I have an appointment
at 1:30 with mr. Al.

Are you mr. Al?

No, but I wish I was.

Um...

I'm just helping out
around here

Why don't you have a seat.
Mr. Al's running
a little bit behind schedule.

I don't think
I can wait.

Oh, hey, miss waiting
for mr. Al is worth it.

I mean, he'll shape you
hair,

He'll define your face,

He'll give you style,
volume, and grace.

Ooh, couplets.

I'm no ferlinghetti,
but I try.

You're a creative
kind of guy.
Yeah, you know.

What do you think
I should do
with my hair?

Uh, keep it.

Well, actually,

I'm not really a professional
hairdresser,

Although I do, do my own hair.

Don't you have
an opinion?

Not really.

But you know,
I understand in paris

A small-headed
silhouette is the rage.

All right, mrs. Laudicina,
the do is done.

Boy, rose,
you look beautiful.

Yeah, you should though.

You walked in a dog,
you're walking out here

The best of breed.

Uh, al, watch
the imagery, huh?

Well,
it's time to pay up.

Saturday's
are half price, right?

Yeah, that's right,
but I didn't think

Anybody would
take me up on it.

Are you broke
or just cheap?

Al, come here, come here.
Listen to me.

Now, don't take this
the wrong way.

But you got to work
on your people skills.

That's ridiculous.

Hi. Cookies?

No peddlers.

Al, you know the way a doctor

Has a bedside manner?

Well, hairdressers have
to have a chairside manner.

I mean, not just selling
hairdos, here.

You're selling
relationships.

You're selling
good feelings. Be nice.

Uh, come on with all due
modesty, genius will out.

Al, listen to me,

I think I know
what I'm talking about here.

Okay, I'll try
to be more genteel.

Thank you very much.

We're ready
for you now.

Va-va-va-voom!

What? It's a compliment.

Park it.

♪ Da da-da da ♪

Wowee.

Hey, now that
haircut is you.

It's smart,
it's chic.

Hey,
I'm calling vogue.

They got themselves
a new cover girl.

Tony, she's a looker,

But don't they like
a little classier broad?

Al, haven't you heard
one word I said

To you all day?

People skills out.
People skills.

You've got to be
considerate of
people's feelings.

Tony, do not address me thusly
in front of my customer.

I'll give you thusly.

Excuse me, fellas.

That's for you,

Oh, thank you.

And that's for you.

Use it to buy
a personality.

Need I say more?

I think the public
has spoken.

I got my own my style

And it ain't
being a butt-smoocher.

Are you calling me
a butt-smoocher?

If the lips fit...

Hey, hey.

I came down here
as a favor to you, man.
I treated you like a brother.

All I see you doing
is insulting people.
Left and right.

Yeah, this is my shop.
I'll treat customers
the way I want to.

Oh, yeah, well,
then let me tell you

What's gonna happen, al.

Like I could stop you.

Look, if you're rude
to mrs. Capasso,

Then, she's gonna tell
mrs. Bataglia,

And then she'll tell
mrs. Carlo

And then she'll tell
everybody.

Because she's got a mouth
the size of the suez canal.

And then,
before you know it,

Customers will stop
coming in here.

Yeah, right.
Hey, all right.

Let me
tell you something,

Do you know--
do you have any idea

How many small businesses

Are started in this
country every day?

And do you know how many
actually make it?

A very
small portion, al.

I mean look at you--

You got clips
on your shoulders,

You got
no business sense.

You insulted
the only two people

That came in here.

Your white towels
are gray.

You're headed
for disaster, al.

Chapter 11.

You're a dead man.

Uh-huh.

You know,
so, you see the point

I'm trying
to make here?

Yeah, I see.
All right.
Good. Good.

Now, what are we
gonna about it?

I'm gonna throw in
the great towels

And close the business.

Wait a minute.
That's not what I meant.

Al, al?

Come on, I heard
what you said

Who am I kidding?
I'm a loser.

Hey, thanks for
straightening me out.

But, al, wait a minute.

Al? Al, al, al.

Can I go to lunch?

Good morning, tony.

Good morning.

Where's the coffee?

Oh, you know,
I forgot to make it.

There's no orange juice
or toast, either.

Great, another person
I let down.

It's okay, tony.
It's no big deal.

Oh, it is a big deal,
angel.

You know, what I did?

I took a young fresh
faced lad of about 20,

And shot him down
like a duck in season.

It couldn't
have been that bad.

Oh, it was, angela.

Last night, I drained
all the strength and will

Out of a man.

You, too?

I'm not a good
big brother.

A big brother should
be nurturing and caring,

Not dominating
and overbearing.

Why do I always have
to have the last word?

Oh, but, dad...

Would you
let me finish!

See, you see?

I did it again.
I'm incorrigible.

Dad, don't be so hard
on yourself.

I mean anybody would
love to have you
as a big brother.

Oh, yeah--

Really, sam?
You don't think
I'm too pushy?

No.

Well, what about when
you were a little girl

And you used
to like to draw

In your
coloring books

And I told you,
oh, it'd look

Much better if you stayed
within the lines?

I wrecked
your confidence, sam

I mean,
if it wasn't for me,

You would have went out
to be another rembrandt,

But because of me,
you never picked up

A crayon again.

Oh, yeah.

I've blocked that out
for years.

Now it's back.

Thanks.

Oh, you--you see?
You see what I do?

You see what I do?
I'm great.

I build cases for people

To throw away
their dreams.

Why do I have to be so
devastatingly articulate?

Tony, you're not
all that evil.

You're not all that bad.

You're not that articulate.

Mona, I am
a dream assassin.

That's right, mona,
a dream assassin.

I mean because of me,
al's probably sitting

In a room somewhere

With his thumb
in his ears,

Singing guantanamera.

How can you blame
yourself for caring?

Yes, you went
to the mat

For that kid.

Your heart was
in the right place.

And it's not your fault
that he misunderstood.

Oh, yeah? You think?

Yes. Yes. You know
tony, these things

Have a way
of working out.

I'm sure he's gonna think
about what you said,

He probably gonnna
lick his wounds,

And then he's gonna
come back

And he's gonna fight
the good fight.

Really, do you think so?

Yes, I do.
Mona : yes I do.

All right.
Maybe you're right.

Okay.

I just drove 80 miles
to tell you one thing--

You're brother al
is curled up on my couch

In a fetal position
humming disney tunes.

I hope you're
proud of yourself.

I hate me.

Ooh, croissant. Hmm?

Where's the coffee?

We gotta start
locking that door.

[Knock on door]

We're closed.

Hey, al, it's tony.

Hey.
You're just in time

To help me carry
this stuff out to the car.

You know, it seems
like only yesterday

I moved this stuff in.

Well, it was yesterday.

Boy, that was
the good old day.

Al, look.
Wait a minute, al.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Put down the hairspray.

Look, you can't close
the shop,

I mean you can't just
throw away your dream.

Uh, the dream is dead.

No al, the dream lives.
And I can prove it.

Here, come on.
Come on.

Angela, come here.
Come here.

Get in that chair.

Well, I thought you wanted
me here for moral support.

Yeah, yeah.
That and your hair.

Armand is so territorial.

Just sit down, please.
He's not gonna cut it.

Come on. You guys
will just role-play, all right?

Al is gonna work
on his people skills with you.

Oh, I don't know, ton.

I don't know, ton.

Oh, come on.
What's with you two?

Come one al, here, here,
here's your brush.

Come on. Turn on
that old charm, huh?

I don't have
any charm.

Yes you do, al,
you got plenty of charm.

Here, look, look.

What do you see here?

Hair.

Not hair, al. Look.

What you see is an
intelligent,

Caring human being

Who, once she
sits in your chair,

Is feeling
very vulnerable.

I mean, it's up to you,

To make her feel
good about herself.

No psycho babble,
please.

If I wanted to
work in that field,

I would've become
a bartender.

Al, would you just make
conversation
with her, please.

Don't feel
vulnerable.

That's good,
that's good.

That's a--
it's a good icebreaker.

Now, ask her something
about herself.

How old are you?

Oh.



I'm role-playing.

Okay, okay.

Now, what would make
this beautiful woman

Feel even more
beautiful?

Well it would help if
she really were 28.

All right, get back.

All right, let me just
show you, please.

Can I just show you?

Hello,
my name is anton.

My, don't you have thick,
luxurious hair.

And you know,
I don't usually like

To mess
with perfection,

But you know what would
really give me chills?

What, anton?

More nape.

You see,
this is very classic,

Very grace kelly.

Tony, I had no idea

That you liked my hair
in an upsweep.

Oh, I love your hair
in an upsweep, ange.

You know what, because
it shows off your neck,

Which, by the way,
is very sexy.

Thank you.

I'm so glad you told me.

I'm gonna wear it
like that more often.

Should I leave
you two alone?

Okay, come over here.

Come here.
Come here, now look

Pretend--pretend
that you have just finished

Styling
this woman's hair.

What would you tell her?

Nice neck?

No, al,
not nice neck, like--no.

You look like
gene kelly.

No, al.

Emmett kelly?

No!

I give up.
I'm a lost cause, ton.

I can't do this.

Are you open?

Oh, yes. Come in.
Yes, of course.

Come right in.

Mr. Al will be
right with you here.

Have a little seat.

There you are, dear.

That's it.

Al, come on,
come on. Come on.

What are you doing?

Well come on.
I'll tell you what, al.

Big brother's
got an idea.

Make this a test.

She represents
every woman.

If you fail,
I'll help you pack,

But if you can send her outta
here satisfied,
then mr. Al's lives.

Hey, larry, moe!

One of you stooges get over here
and give me a haircut.

Piece of cake, al.

Are you done yet?

'Cause if you are,
I'm unhappy.

Hey who do you think
is in charge here?

She is.

You're in charge.

At mr. Al's, the customer
is always the boss.

Cappuccino, my lady?

This better not
be decaf.

Perish the thought.

What did you do to me?
It's lopsided.

Hey, if there's
something wrong--

Ahem.

Ahem.

Then it's my pleasure
to fix it.

There. Done.

Well, it's the first
haircut in two years

That didn't
make me puke.

Oh, well, thank you,
thank you.

Yes, and you look lovely.

Who's talking
to you, olive oyl?

And you are lovely.

No, no.

You're
a sweet kid.

See you
next month.

All right.

Hey, have a nice day.

Hey, way to go, al.

Hey, watch this,
watch this.

It was a pleasure
to serve you.

Thank you
for your patronage.

You got
a lovely neck.

Hey, I did--i did good,
didn't i?

You did great, buddy.
You did great, mr. Al.

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

[Indistinct] you al.

Hey, thanks, tone.

Mr. Al, I was wondering

If you'd have time to do
my hair in an upsweep?

Oh, h*, h*, h*.

All right, sure,

But then
you're really gonna look

Like olive oyl.

Al.

Who, by the way,
was a very hot chick.

Better.
Better, al.

Just, uh, checking to see
if this baby
was up to code.

Yup, it's up.

Ready to go?
Yeah, yeah.

You know
something, tony?

I think I should
start coming

To mr. Al regularly.

Armand is getting
very sloppy.

Tony: well you know
I'll tell you something,

I could see what's
wrong right now.

It's--it's a little uneven.
Here, wait the minute.

What--what are you doing?

Oh, this is just
one little strand.

Hang on a second.

[Snip]

Did you get it?
Oh, yeah.

[Music playing]

[Theme music playing]