04x06 - He Say, She Say

[bunniefuu]

Come taste this sauce. It needs something.

It needs to be on a plate so I can eat it, gina.

Hey, I thought we would be cooking dinner together.

No. I said you were cooking.

We were going toeatit together.

Fine. Uh-huh. O.k.

Hey, gina, what'd you do that for, girl?

That wasamerica's most wanted.

They was about to gaff on the suspect.

Martin, just come and cook

Your mother's spaghetti sauce for me, please?

Oh, you want to see if I can get busy in the kitchen.

Like you need another reason to love me.

Get your butt over here.

Go on.

Yeah, uh-huh. I like to see that.

A man in the kitchen.

Turns me on.

The oven isn't the only thing getting heated up in here.

Well, uh, cop a squat...

'Cause chef homeboy-ar-dee 'bout to show you how to do that.

All right. Let's see. Let's see here.

Uh, make sure your temperature right.

O.k. You got onions?

Right there.

We got some onion.

All right, sprinkle, sprinkle.

You don't want too much. Just a little dab.

O.k., Uh, garlic. You got the garlic?

It's over there.

Whoo! Bam! Got the garlic.

Aah!

Don't you think that's too much, honey?

Oh, no, gina. That will keep the count pamulas away.

Very funny.

Ooh, it smells good!

Yeah, but it's still missing something.

What?

Let's see. I think it need a dash of salt...

Mm-hmm.

O.k. And it need a pinch of pepper...

Ai-pp-ai-ngd-ai-pp-ow!

And, uh... A pinch of my baby.

Aah!

Whwh

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeawhazzup!♪

♪ I'm the man ♪

Tin ♪♪

Mm-hmm. You know marty mar can deliver.

What's my name, girl? What's my name, girl?

Martin payne, and you put in just enough sausage.

Boy, what kind of sausage is this?

You want to know what kind of sausage it is?

Yes.

It's soul sausage,

And I know you like it

'Cause you got the juice

Dripping all over your lip right here.

[Knocking on door]

Cole! Cole!

All right, baby, just let him in

Because you know if we don't,

He'll be sleeping outside the door again.

Hoo!

Cole, what a surprise.

[Sniffs]

Yeah, it is a surprise.

I smell soul sausage.

Gina was wearing me out with that chicken.

Hey, cole, don't you realize

Me and gina are still newlyweds?

Hell, yeah, I do.

And the gift I bought you cost $..

Ever since you and big shirley broke up,

You been coming over here and wearing out my couch, cole,

And I ain't having it no more.

What?

Come here.

Be sensitive. The boy is hurting.

Go on now.

You want me to be sensitive?

Is sensitive what you need?

Yes. Yes.

All right.

All right.

Hey, cole.

Hey, man. What's up?

Big shirley's a*s is gone.

O.k.? Get over it.

Get over it!

I know, man. I know.

I can't, man. I miss her.

I miss the folds.

O.k. Cole, sweetheart,

There are other shells on the beach, o.k.?

We going to the beach?

Other women, cole. Other women, man.

O.k. Are the women going to the beach?

No! Cole, sweetheart,

Please listen.

O.k.? Please, you got to find somebody new.

You might not have noticed.

I'm not the smartest brother around.

Oh...no.

What?what?

Get outof here.

No, we didn't notice nothing.

Look, cole...

Listen to me, and listen good.

All right. I hear you.

The scarecrow didn't have a brain

But he eased his a*s down that yellow brick road,

Now, didn't he?

I appreciate what you're trying to do for me, o.k?

But, uh, let's face it.

I'm never going to have what you two got.

Oh, cole, no. No, cole.

Oh, baby, that was so sweet.

Cole...cole, if you take the chance,

You'll find somebody.

Trust me.

There's plenty of women out there, cole.

You just couldn't see them

Because big shirley was blocking your view.

What is wrong with you?

Cole...oh, you know what?

Cole, I got an idea.

Listen to this.

I'm listening.

Nipsey's is having a singles night tomorrow.

You should go.

No, no, gina. I don't know if I'm ready.

No. See, you don't understand.

You're going. O.k.?

Because if you come over here

Interrupting me and my husband again,

You going to have to catch a beating.

Now, that's it. I'm tired.

Hey, got to respect the lady of the house, man.

All right, all right.

I'm going.

What you doing here on singles night?

Your wife left you that quick?

At least my wife waited a month.

Hey, look, I'm just down here with my boy.

He's checking out the girls for the single thing,

So be gone, thick james.

Look like we in luck, y'all.

There's some fine women in the house tonight.

Tommy, please. These women too skinny for me.

Only thick one up in here is nipsey,

And I don't swing that way.

Cole, brother, you have got to compliment a woman.

You must tell her that her eyes shine

Like crystal in the sunshine.

Man, get on off of me.

No, no, cole. See, what you got to tell her

Is that you thirsty and "can we split a drink?"

Right. Right.

Man, both your styles are whack.

O.k. O.k.?

Now, look, cool. I got my own original rap.

Check my steel up.

Ahem.

Cancer!

And my name is cole.

I like a woman who loves everything and everybody,

And if you feel that this description is you,

Then here's what I want you to do.

Why don't you...

Buy me a drink?

Oh, is that what you want me to do?

Sure you're right.

Well, this is what I want you to do.

Come here.

Float out of my face

And take that played-out rap with you!

O.k.

Uh...when you...

Want to give me a call,

I'll be right over here.

Whoo.

Hey. Hey.

Pam, what are you doing here?

Tommy, I didn't expect to see you here.

I didn't expect to see you either,

But now that I have, why don't we go back to my place

And try to rekindle our flame?

Mm...i'm sorry. I can't.

I'm here with somebody else.

Oh.

Oh, o.k.

That's cool, you know.

We said we would, you know, see other people.

You know, I ain't going to sweat you.

Nothing like that.

So, who the hell is he?

Me.

You got a problem with that?

Who said that?

I did, man. I did.

Look, the lady don't want to talk to you,

So just step off before I have to toss this place

Like a caesar salad.

Look here, webster...

Why don't you go and find willy,

And then walk your little a*s up out of here, all right?

You're lucky I don't have time.

Have time? What you--

You ready to roll, baby?

I'll call you.

Ain't nothing here for me.

Think I'll go down to the chicken shack

And wait for big shirley to make her : pickup.

Cole, you can't just give up.

Great men don't give up.

Yeah. True that.

I guess if martin luther king had gave up,

We wouldn't have a holiday in january.

Oh, true that. True that.

How you brothers doing? My name is kris.

Oh, hi. Um, I'm cole,

And this is my partner martin.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

Well, I don't think so,

But it's nice to meet you anyway.

You know what? This hat is kind of cool.

It looks really cute on you.

Let me haul out.

Let me explain.

Cole, cole, baby's giving out rhythm.

She might... [Mumbles]

O.k.? Now, you got to be cool.

Right, right. O.k.?

O.k., I'm cool.

Hey, hey...

Give up conversation, but don't say nothing.

Hey, sexy, you here with somebody?

Gina...

What are you doing here?

Who? I'm sorry, do I know you?

I don't know you, do i?

Oh, you want me to play the game--oh!

Well, uh, I'm married,

But...you trying to have an affair?

Ooh, I'm married, too,

But that might make it all the more interesting.

Well, then we better get out of here...

Before my wife shows up.

Hey, do that. All right.

Hey, martin, I don't know what you told cole,

But it worked.

Broad get his mac on.

Tommy, tommy, don't we know this girl from somewhere?

I've never seen her before.

She looks familiar, man.

I don't--i don't forget no face.

Hmm. I don't know.

Come on. Let's go.

[Martin] mmm, mmm, mmm!

Ooh, what did you say your name was again?

Whatever you want it to be, baby.

Whatever you want.

Mmm! Let's take this back to my bedroom.

Ah, yeah. Heh heh...

Gina, gina...

What? What?

I think I got it.

You got it?

Then give me some before my husband come home.

No, no, no, no.

I figured out where I know cole's girl from.

O.k.

Where do you know her from?

Gina, it's coming back.

What?

I saw her on america's most wanted last night.

Baby, cole's girl escaped from prison, baby.

No, martin. I can't believe

You called us here to tell us

That cole dating a woman that's an escaped convict.

Man, this is crazy.

Hey, pam, ever since you bought a new flea collar,

You think you're all that.

Martin, you didn't even see the whole show.

How do you know what she did?

I didn't have to.

She was on america's most wanted.

That's all that matters.

You got a point there.

Look, she's an escaped convict,

And she's wanted in five states.

Cole went from big shirley to the big house.

Hey, nipsey.

Hey, how you doing? How you doing?

What's the matter, nipsey?

My money ain't good here no more?

No, it ain't like that.

Somebody slipped me some counterfeit twenties.

I'm just checking it out.

How do you know?

Andrew jackson looked like tito jackson.

Hey, hey, hey! What's up, y'all?

All right, now. I just came down here

'Cause I want to thank you, martin.

Thank me for what?

For hooking me up with my soulmate.

You meancellmate, don't you?

What? What?

I said, you're welcome.

Cole, how much do you know about this girl?

What does she do?

I don't know, but she crazy paid.

Bought me this phat hat.

Was throwing around twenties like rice at a wedding.

Twenties?

Mm-hmm.

Cole, I don't see how you could be with somebody,

And you don't even know what they do for a living!

We hang out with you

And we don't know what you do for a living.

I got to roll.

I'm meeting kris at the sh**ting range.

I didn't know you owned a g*n.

I don't, but she got a g*ng of 'em.

So, we be going there to practice,

Then, after that,

She going to show me how she earn her loot.

Say she might even have a job for me.

Peace out, y'all.

O.k. Something doesn't sound right about this girl.

And now you see what I was trying to tell you?

The girl's living foul, man,

And I ain't going to let my boy go out like that.

I'm calling the cops.

Wait a minute.

I'm calling--

You can't. We don't have any proof.

I got an idea.

What if we invite her over

So we can check her out?

Baby, that's it. Now you thinking,

Just like that little old lady on m*rder, she wrote.

Just like that little old lady on m*rder, she wrote.

Y.

Bonnie and cole will be here any minute.

Y'all know what to do?

Break her down till she comes clean.

Gina, get the handcuffs we had the other night.

O.k.

Pam, if she come in here acting crazy,

I want you to start barking.

O.k.? Loud as you can.

Bahroooo! Boom.

This way, the neighbors hear you--

Everybody comes running.

Why don't you try flapping your ears and flying after her?

Whatever. What about that?

Guys, enough of that.

Listen, we turn her in,

And cole will be all right.

O.k.

[Knocking on door]

There they are.

O.k. Everybody act like you're chilling.

What are you doing with that?

Baby, if she come in here acting crazy,

I'm banging out rbis--

Real bad injuries, baby.

Give me the bat.

Go sit down. You'll hurt someone.

We're just going to call the cops.

Everybody shut up!

Hey!

Hey!

How you all doing, everybody?

Everyone, this is kris.

Hi, kris.

Hi, kris. Where y'all been,

Casing some joint?

That's funny, 'cause we actually lost the keys to the car.

Yeah, we did, but that didn't stop my baby.

Baby broke into the car, hot-wired it.

Must've took seconds.

Uh, why don't you two

Go put your coats in the back room?

O.k. O.k. Yeah.

And take your time...

A-and don't touch nothing.

All right.

All right, everybody...

O.k., Now, look,

This is what we going to do.

Gina, you check and see if she stole something.

I'll frisk her.

Oh, no, no, no, no!

The hell you will.

No, you check and see if she stole something.

I will frisk her.

He want to be all up on her butt and stuff.

Gina, go.

O.k. Martin, I'll get her fingerprint on the glass.

Tommy, that's a smart idea.

Boy, you're brilliant.

Pam...

Yeah, what you want me to do?

Uh...stop breathing in my face.

You're curling my eyebrows.

Why are you so stupid?

Hey, girl, how you doing?

Ooh, that dress! It's gorgeous.

Let me see. It's so baaaaad!

Is that silk? That's really nice.

As a matter of fact, it is.

You know, that's a good color for you.

What is that, prison blue?

I bet you'd look real good in stripes.

Yeah, my baby look good in everything.

So, kris, would you like something to eat or drink?

Perhaps some bread and water?

Well, you can keep the bread, but I'll take some water.

Oh, I'll get that. There you go, some water.

Thank you.

Ohh! I see something on that cup.

I'll get you another one.

Anyway...baby, don't you have something

You want to give to my friends?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot.

I got a little something for y'all.

You got something for us?

What the hell you got for us?

Ohh! Ohh!

Damn bottle of champagne.

What are you doing?

This is a gift for you.

We peeped your game a long time ago.

O.k. Hold up. Martin, what's up with you, man?

You chill, man. You just chill! O.k.?

Martin just kept you from going down, man!

Your woman is a fugitive from justice!

That's right. I saw her onamerica's most wanted.

Don't deny it.

I ain't denying it.

That was some of my best work.

[Pam] that's disgusting.

And you bragging on it?

If it wasn't for old marty mar,

You might have gotten over.

Hold up. Excuse me for a sec.

You a criminal?

You said you was a actress.

I am an actress.

I wasplaying a criminal on america's most wanted.

Oh, yeah, right.

What about the sh**ting range?

And hot-wiring a car, what about that?

Oh, see, I was just preparing for my next role.

I'm playing a hit woman infoxy brown sugar

With denzel washington.

Denzel washington?

Yeah.

Are you serious? I love him!

Can you introduce me?

It'll have to be this week.

After that, I return to l.a.

This my friend!

Oh, kris, there's been a big misunderstanding,

And somebody owes somebody an apology.

Um...

Yeah, baby, you owe me an apology.

If you wouldn't have cut off america's most wanted,

I could have seen the whole program

And known this lady was an actress.

So, you just going to blame me?

No, don't blame-- blame...tommy!

Tommy is acting like matlock anyway,

Running around getting fingerprints off of glasses!

Blame me? No, don't blame me!

Blame...nipsey!

He the one that had that single night thing!

What about all the drama you put me through?

Man, big shirley put you through all that damn drama.

If you'd stayed with her,

We wouldn't be going through all this!

[All argue simultaneously]

Hey, you know what?

I'm glad we all straight on this.

Next time, y'all will listen to me.

Martin, you were wrong.

Damn right, I'm wrong,

And I'm about to tell you something else.

Y'all asses all get to step out of here!

You took me through too much. Out!

[All argue simultaneously]

Yeah, whatever!

[Speaking gibberish]

Now look... I'm glad--

We can't hold it.

Hey, hey, look.

I'm glad we're all straight on this.

And I don't want to hear no more 'cause I'm happy.

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

He said he's happy!

If you're living your life, aren't you happy?