05x16 - Power to the People's Court

[bunniefuu]

Hurry up, tommy.

Our dinner reservations are for :.

You know that jamaican place is gonna be packed.

[Jamaican accent] ya, mon. We don't wan' be late, no?

Cole, boy, you know if martin was here,

You wouldn't have your feet up on that coffee table.

Mm. That would be the point, tommy.

Martin's not here. Duh.

Yeah? Well, I am here--duh--

And I told him that I wouldn't let anybody disrespect this crib

While he was gone to visit gina in l.a.

Man, will you get your feet off the table?

You're just rude.

God dang.

Have a brother house-sit for a week,

He act like he own the place, don't he?

How's tommy gonna house-sit when he's standing up?

That's a good point, baby.

You always thinking.

Y'all need to be hooked on phonics, you know that?

[Ring]

You stuck on stupid.

Hey. Payne residence.

Hey. Hey, martin.

No, no. Hold on.

Let me put you on the speakerphone.

Martin: cole, get the hell outta my fridge.

R-right. Sorry.

I just called to check in.

Everything all right?

Oh, yeah, man. Everything cool.

We just about to go out and get us some grub.

Hold up, tommy.

I thought I told you not to let pam in my apartment.

Shut up, herman munchkin.

Martin, how'd you know pam was here?

'Cause I can smell her.

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

Whwh

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeawhazzup!♪

♪ I'm the man ♪

Tin ♪♪

[Sobbing]

Oh, come on.

Come on, sheneneh, now...

Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit?

It really isn't that bad.

Overreacting?

Overreacting?

Tommy, let me try hitting your car,

And see if you start overreacting, tommy.

Ok?

Ok, ok, sheneneh.

Will you calm down?

I said I'm sorry.

I am calm, tommy.

I mean, I calm.

I calm.

"Sorry" didn't do it, tommy.

You're the one who put a dent in my new benz-o

With your -inch lorenzos.

Ok, ok. First of all, sheneneh,

That mercedes ain't hardly new, ok?

And, secondly, it's just a little dent in the fender.

Well, tommy, I'm about to put a dent in your wallet.

Now my insurance gonna go sky-high, tommy.

Hold, hold, hold.

Wait. Sheneneh.

I thought you told me

That you didn't have any insurance.

I don't, tommy,

And now I ain't gonna be able to get none.

What I'm tryin' to tell you.

Sheneneh, ok. Calm down, ok?

I know I was wrong,

And I will take complete responsibility

For everything that I did, all right?

Well, good, tommy.

That's good, tommy,

'Cause my benz-o needs a new bumper there.

Ok. All right. Well, sheneneh,

Would $ make your benz-o feel better?

$?

$?

No, you are not gonna insult me like that, tommy.

I'm not understanding.

I'm not understanding.

Ok, ok, sheneneh. Let me help you understand.

How about $? Is that better?

$?

Let me think, tommy.

Let me think about it.

Uh...

$? Hell, no, tommy.

I can't even get a fake gucci bag with $, tommy.

Ok, I tell you what, sheneneh.

No! No!

Wait a minute now.

Why don't I make a few phone calls?

I'll call around and see-- you know, some estimates

On how much it cost to get the bumper fixed.

Come back a little later, and we'll work it out.

Good. You do that, tommy, all right?

And I better be able to get some insurance.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Sheneneh, sure. You can have anything you want.

Oh, tommy, that's so nice of you.

I may have misjudged you, tommy, you know?

No matter what pam says about you.

Oh, hey, sheneneh,

What does pam say about me?

Oh, no, no, tommy.

I don't need to be starting no rumors.

That's not sheneneh's thing.

I don't start no rumors.

But, listen, you need to stop stalking that girl

And get on with your life, tommy.

She is not worth it.

$, To knock out a dent!?

No, no, no, hans.

I said a ' mercedes.

' Hasn't even come out yet.

Yeah.

All right, I'll hold.

Yo, tommy, man, I still can't figure out

Where I'm gonna take shanise on monday.

Why don't you take her to the zoo?

No, no. I can't take her to the zoo, man.

She's scared of the zoo.

Ok. All right. How about a museum, man?

No, no. The museum scares her more than the zoo.

Ok, cole, why don't you take her to a movie?

She ain't scared of that, is she?

You trying to be funny? Huh?

Man, you know I ain't got that kind of money

To be spending on no woman.

Hey, hey. Shh.

Huh? $.

That's more like it.

All right.

All right. Thanks, hans.

Peace.

What's $?

That's how much it's gonna cost

To bang that dent out of sheneneh's bumper.

I didn't know sheneneh had a dent in her a*s.

I'm talking about her car, fool.

[Knock on door]

Right. I knew you was talking about that.

I was playing with you.

Shut up, cole. I'm going to write her a check.

That way, I'll be all straight.

A dent on her a*s.

Hey.

Are you tommy strong?

Yes, sir, I am.

Then this bud's for you.

All right. Thank you, brother.

This bud's for you.

Nice guy there,

A nice little gentleman.

What the hell is this?

What's up, tommy?

Oh, my god. It says that sheneneh's gonna sue me

For $ . Million!

Tommy, are you sure

You and sheneneh can't hash this mess out?

I tried to talk to her.

She won't even open the door.

Well, then, maybe it's not such a good idea

For you to defend yourself.

Pam, I went to law school for one year.

Right.

Sheneneh didn't.

I have witnesses. Sheneneh doesn't.

Now, you give me one good reason

Why I shouldn't defend myself.

Hmm. I'll give you . Million good reasons.

Oh, come on, pam.

Pam, look,

I have everything all under control, all right?

Now, you still going to testify for me?

You know, you're my star witness.

Yeah, but your star witness

Needs her hair done.

I need my nails done, and I need a new suit,

'Cause I ain't trying to be in court

Looking like rosa lopez.

I know you don't expect me to pay for all of that.

All right. Then just pay my phone bill.

[Knock on door]

Just pay my phone bill.

You are a trip, you know that?

Hey, guys.

What's happening there, tommy?

Hey, baby love.

What's going on?

Lookee here, tommy, guess what we doing tomorrow.

Cole, you said I could tell them.

Go ahead my little peach cobbler.

Go on and tell them.

We're going to have a picnic in the park.

Isn't that romantic?

It would be if it wasn't degrees outside.

Yeah, yeah?

Yeah, well, bust this.

We gonna have the park all to ourselves.

[Making silly monkey noise]

Yeah. Give me some.

Love is definitely blind.

Tommy, it ain't too smart either.

Tommy, what you want us to come over here for anyway?

Oh, yeah.

I need you two to testify for me.

Thank you! Amen!

Oh, jesus! Praise the lord!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Would y'all shut up!?

He ain't talking about that kind of testifying,

You idiots.

I'm talking about testifying in court, cole.

Ok.

No problem, tommy.

You know I'm down for you, brother.

Cole, our picnic's tomorrow.

Baby, don't worry about that.

We can still have our picnic.

We'll just have it in the courtroom.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Well, my sweet potato pie,

That's 'cause you ain't got an i.q. Of , like me.

Don't you mean ?

You were right, cole.

Having a picnic in court

Is much more romantic than the park.

Right. I got what you need.

I got what you need.

Have a bite of my salami.

I can't believe sheneneh's not here yet.

I swear that girl's going to be late for her own funeral.

Lawyer: don't rush.

Don't rush. It's ok.

[Sheneneh moaning and groaning]

Oh, my goodness!

Oh, my goodness!

Sheneneh is here,

So let's get this trial started, right?

'Cause I am ready to get broke off, your honor.

Oh, god!

[Speaking gibberish]

Lawyer: don't strain yourself.

Don't strain yourself.

I just want justice, because he didn't have to hit me.

Ok? He used that vehicle as a weapon,

And you don't do that.

You don't do that.

Wow, tommy. Sheneneh brought in her own dream team.

This is case number ,

Sheneneh jenkins vs. Thomas strong.

I'll hear opening statements from the defendant.

Your honor, um...

I admit I am guilty

Of hitting the plaintiff's car.

However, I am not guilty of the $. Million

Of trumped-up charges made by sheneneh.

That's miss jenkins to you, all right, baldy?

That's how you address me,

'Cause I'm a lady.

Your honor,

I plan to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt

That not only are these charges

Outrageous and ridiculous and slanderous,

But that dinosaur she calls a mercedes

Has a yugo engine.

That's a bald-headed lie, your honor.

That's a bald-headed lie.

You are out of order.

You know you out of line.

[Gavel banging]

Miss jenkins!

You will get your chance.

Thank you, your honor.

I will now hear from the plaintiff's counsel,

Mr. Ronnie...

What's your name?

Ronnie cochran, sir.

I didn't mess up your name.

I have the simpson case here.

Simpson... Menendez brothers...

Here it is right here.

Your--excuse me, your honor.

My client's position--

That's some documents you can have.

Uh, your honor,

My client's position is clear.

If he made the dent,

Then he must repent.

Would it be correct to say that i...

Tappedsheneneh's bumper?

Yup, it would be correct. That would be correct.

'Cause I seen the whole thing.

I was sitting right there. I seen the whole thing.

Thank you, mr. Brown.

Great job, ok?

Ah, mr. Cochran,

Your witness.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Excuse me.

Here we go.

Excuse me.

Mr. Brown, now, you say you saw the whole thing.

Is that correct?

Yeah. I seen the whole thing, man.

Don't even think about trying to trick me

Into changing my story.

Man, you better ask somebody. Go.

Yes, I am.

I'm asking you, ok?

Now, you said you...

You said you were seated

In the backseat of the vehicle

At the time of the accident.

Am I correct?

Yeah, man. Yeah, I was in the backseat.

I was with my baby over there, shanise,

Slobbin' her down, too.

What, you said "slobbing her down"?

What is that, ebonics? I don't understand.

Let me get my ebonics code book here.

That's, uh, page .

Page ...

Ok. "Slobbing" would be kissing.

So it's safe to say you were kissing your woman.

That's right. She was seconds away

From gettin' a goobin'.

Getting a goobin'.

Now let's hold on the goobin', ok?

Let's go back to slobbin.

When you slob,

D-d-do you close your eyes when you slob?

Let me think.

Let me think.

Well, back when I was with big shirley,

I used to close my eyes.

But that was just to keep my food down.

You had to see big shirley, right?

But now I just kinda do it like a habit.

Hmm.

So, if you had your eyes closed, mr. Brown,

It's impossible that you could have seen the accident.

Am I correct?

You're damn skippy.

Oh, my damn.

No further questions here, your honor.

Mm-hmm.mm-hmm.

Because nobody seen it.

Accidental m*rder.

Told you you couldn't trick me, boy.

Mr. Brown.

Step down.

Ehearsed this over and over again.

How could you get up there and tell them--

Mr. Strong!

Please call your next witness.

My next witness.

Yes. My next witness.

Your honor, I'd like to call to the stand

Miss shanise mcgillicuddy.

[Gasp]

What's wrong, shanise?

Didn't you hear that?

Someone in this courtroom

Has the exact same name as me.

Wow.

No further questions, your honor.

If we win some of your money,

You could probably take a vacation.

Oh, god.

I could see you in a bathing suit.

Do your job, ronnie.

Mr. Cochran.

Yes?

Care to join us?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was referring to my client about some documents.

Stay here.

Uh, mrs. James, hi.

Hi.

Great. When mr. Strong's vehicle

Plowed into my client's classic mercedes benz...

We have diagrams, your honor.

These are all classics here.

Uh, excuse me.

Could you please describe the sound of the impact, please?

Well, mr. Cochran,

It's sorta like the sound my heart makes

Every time I see that fine, famous,

Lavender-suit-wearing rich cousin of yours,

Johnnie, on tv:

Ka-boom ka-boom.

So you're saying he hit her twice.

Well, I'm sayin' whatever you want me to say,

Long as you hook me up with johnnie's digits.

You see, I been trying to get in touch--

Just answer the question,

Whitney houstay.

Just answer the question.

You watch yourself, sheneneh.

Miss jenkins!

Excuse me.

You're out of order.

That was my bad, your honor.

My bad, ok?

I don't even know why I let her work my nerves,

'Cause she ain't even on my level, ok?

I said, ok?

You know, your honor,

For the first time, sheneneh is right.

I can't stoop that low.

Well, you ain't gonna have to stoop that low,

'Cause you're gonna have to get up

'Cause I'm about to straighten out your crooked teeth.

Now get out here!

[Gavel banging]

Order!

Get that woman off my table!

Get her off my table!

[Sobbing]

I shouldn't even be here in court

Going through all this.

Let me give you some tissues.

That's ok.

Take some tissue. Take your time.

Thank you.

She has a lot on her back.

So, anyway...

I'm sorry.

Take your time.

I just had so much traumatization in my life.

That's ok.

We understand, mrs. Jenkins.

This is a lot of pressure on you.

Ok. Just take your time.

You've suffered enough.

We all feel your pain here.

Uh-huh.

Thank you all for knowing my pain

And understanding what he's saying.

So, anyway...

There I was sitting in the parking lot

In my parked car.

I was reading the word.

And, so, anyway,

Tommy come flying down the street

Like a bat outta hell.

You know, just-- vroom! Vroom! In his vehicle.

So he run right into me.

He must have been on that stuff.

He had to be on that stuff.

Wait! Wait! I am not on anything, sheneneh.

I'm not on anything.

What, did they test your blood?

Your honor, somebody needs to do a dna on this man.

Your honor, this is ludicrous.

That's that stuff talking again.

"Ludicrous"? What does that mean?

Objection, your honor. Objection!

Sustained. Sustained.

Miss jenkins, just stick to the facts.

All right.

All right.

Well, the fact is...

The fact is...

Tommy hit me,

And I'm just lucky to be here,

To be alive to tell my story.

There you go.

Thank you.

It's ok, mrs. Jenkins. It's ok.

You know, you are a brave woman.

Essencemagazine should do a story about this woman.

Terry mcmillan should write a book:

Waiting to sheneneh.

Oh!

The prosecution rests.

This is a brave, christian woman.

This is a damn shame how she's getting railroaded here.

Sheneneh...

You call yourself a christian woman...

Yet you sit here

And you lie to these people.

I am tired of it, sheneneh.

Right now, you tell these people the truth.

Damn it! You tell them right now!

Oh, my god! Look at him!

He done lost it.

I need the witness protection program!

Look at that. I told you.

She's a fake!

Before I rule,

I would like to say

That this has been the strangest case

I have ever presided over,

You are the strangest people

I have ever had in my courtroom,

And I never

Want to see any of you in here again.

The court rules for the plaintiff,

Miss sheneneh jenkins.

Oh, my goodness!

Oh, my goodness! We won! We won!

Oh, my good-- ronnie, you did it!

Oh, my team!

The dream team. Thank you to the dream team.

[Gavel bangs]

This court orders the defendant

To pay the plaintiff

/,Th of $. Dollars.

Oh! Whoa!

Your honor, that sounds like a lot of money.

How much?

$.

Yes, yes, yes!

Justice has prevailed.

Yeah. We won, too.

Right.

Oh, no, your honor.

Oh, no. But what about my bodily injuries, huh?

I'm not understanding, your honor.

What bodily injuries?

You sailed out of here like gail devers.

Court is adjourned.

No.

Uh, sheneneh, look,

Can I write you a check?

No, tommy, you can't write me no check.

Everybody know you ain't got no job.

Show me the money, tommy.

Show me the cash money.

Ok, sheneneh.

I just want to get this thing over with.

Here you go, and keep the change.

Yeah.

Y'all gonna get your money. Damn.

I owe y'all money, huh?

Ok. Well, let me think.

[Mumbling]

All right, that's, um...

$..

That ain't too bad.

Yeah, but that would be each.

Each?

Damn! But that only leave me with $..

But, you know, the most important part is,

Is that you won the case.

Right on. Here's a card.

Here's my card.

If you need anything else, give me a call.

Ronnie, are you serious?

Ronnie.

Hey, you won. Good luck.

But I hired the dream team.

How can I be left with $.?

Hey, whoever parked a purple mercedes out front,

You're about to get a ticket.

What do you mean?

I didn't put no money in the meter?

You got change for a dollar?

What you mean, walking away, bailiff?

You got change for a dollar, miss ma'am?

Miss ma'am? None of y'all have--

You don't have--

You don't have-- the black george...