07x06 - The Kid

[bunniefuu]

Okay, now we add a little milk.

I got it.

All right, here, let me
give you a hand with that.

I said I got it.

All right.
Oh, oh. Well, you know,

I was just trying
to help out a little bit.

Well, what do you think
I am? A baby?

A baby? What?
Are you kidding me?

I was going to tell you I think
you need a shave! [CHUCKLES]

All right, come on.
Get over here. Help me out.

Ah, so, tell me.

Does your, uh, grandmother like
chocolate cake?

-I do.
-[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, I know. But you're not
the one that's in the hospital.

I know, she tripped
and hurt her side.

Yeah. The poor thing.

I didn't do it.

[CHUCKLES] I know
you didn't do it.

I wasn't even in the same room.

-I believe you.
-You do?

So, uh, don't worry about
your grandmother. You know,

let me tell you, she's going
to be fine because she's tough.

You know, when I was a kid,

one time I was playing baseball
and I broke her window.

And then she came outside
and broke my bat over her knee.

[CHUCKLES]

From that day forward,
we called her the old bat.

[LAUGHS]

Breaker, the bat breaker.

Hey, listen. If you're
going to help me,

you know, help me cook. I think
you should wear an apron.

Oh, that's girl stuff.

Oh, oh, hey, oh, let me explain
something to you.

A real man can do anything
and still be macho.

Tony, Tony, the back of my dress
is coming undone.

Oh, I'll get my sewing kit.

Well, hi, Billy.

You little cutie.
Aw. What are you doing?

-Watching Tony be macho.
-[TONY CHUCKLES]

Where are you going
so, uh, undressed?

Out with Andy.

-Ow!
-Ooh, sorry. So sorry.

-Hi, everybody.
-Hi.

Sam!

-Can I have a horsey-back ride?
-Sure, you can. Come on.

-TONY: Oh. [CHUCKLES]
-Giddyup! Giddyup!

Isn't he the cutest little
buckaroo you've ever seen?

Yeah, yeah. And the best part
about him is he--

-he looks like me. [CHUCKLES]
-Maybe he'll grow out of it.

-Ow!
-Ooh. I'm so sorry.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for livin' ♪

♪ Take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you
My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

Well, Sam, I see you still
have that painful growth.

Hi, Mona. You want
to play a game?

Yeah, sure. I know a great game.

You go up in the attic and hide.

-And then what?
-That's it.

Come here, come here,
come here, I'm not through yet.

Oh, that's quite enough.
Besides,

I can't afford to lose
any more blood.

-[DOORBELL CHIMES]
-Oh, I forgot my earrings.

Will you tell Andy,
I'll just be a minute?

-Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha.
-Hi, Tony.

Hey, Dr. Andy. How you doing?

Um, Angela will be down
in a minute. Oh!

Can I offer you some coffee,
tea, some alterations?

Oh, that reminds me.

Did I forget to stitch up
that spleen?

Oh, well, wouldn't be
the first time.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Hiya, Billy.

-Babysitting again, huh, Tony?
-I'm not a baby.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, we just have him
for the weekend.

[SCRAPING]

-If he lives that long.
-[TONY CHUCKLING]

Uh, okay, buddy.
What do you say?

-Time for your bath.
-I don't want a bath.

-Hey, I'll race you upstairs.
-Okay.

One, two, three. Go!

She wins.

Billy, please, not again.

You, uh, mind
if I give it a try, Tony?

Oh, please, be my guest.

[SIGHS] Billy...

I'm a doctor.

And I know that there are
millions of tiny organisms

crawling all over your body.
Now, if you don't take a bath,

those millions are going
to become bazillions.

-Okay. I'll take one.
-Piece of cake.

Oh sure, sure, sure.
You can get the kid
to take a bath,

but you leave a guy's
spleen hanging out.

Oh.

Bye, Angela. I'm taking a bath.

Oh! Good for you. Goodnight,
sweetheart. [SMOOCHES]

-Hi. Wow. How did you
get him to do that?
-[TONY SIGHS]

I gave him a little lecture
about bacteria.

That, uh, that did it.

Oh, wow. That's incredible.
You know,

last night it took Tony an hour
to get him upstairs.

[MOCKS] "An hour
to get him upstairs."

Well... [CHUCKLING] ...I think
we should be moving along, okay?

-Uh, Angela.
-Yes?

Never mind. Have fun.

Thanks.

Excuse us.

Uh, you sure you don't need
a hand with that?

-I said I got it.
-[CHUCKLES]

Aren't you the cutest
little thing?

-No.
-Hey!

Billy, when you get a compliment
from somebody,

you're supposed to say
thank you.

Especially from someone as nice
and attractive as nurse, uh...

-Nurse, uh--
-Heather.

I was hoping it would
be something like that.

Hi, I'm Tony. Tony Micelli.
[CHUCKLES]

-Uh, we're looking for room 318.
-Oh, it's right over there.

-You can't miss it.
-TONY: Ah.

It was really nice meeting you.

Oh, you, too. You, too.
[CHUCKLING]

-HEATHER: Bye.
-Yessiree.

You see, Billy? That's why you
should go to medical school.

Hi, uh, we're looking
for Mrs. Napoli.

Oh yes, she's inside, but
I gave her some medication.

So you can only stay
for a couple of moments.

Oh okay. Well, thank you
very much. Come on, buddy.

Go ahead. Go see Grandma.
Go ahead.

-Grandma, we baked you a cake.
-It's lovely!

Tony wears an apron.

How's she doing?

Oh... It's worse than
the doctors thought.

-Yeah. She broke her hip.
-Oh.

[SIGHS] They're taking her
down to surgery.

[SMACKS LIPS] She's going
under the knife.

I'm fine, Billy.

I just don't like the food here.

Tony said it would stink.

Sounds like Tony's
a very wise man.

Billy, don't you have to go
to the bathroom?

-No.
-Yes, you do.

-Oh, I do?
-Yes.

Okay. Number one?

[CHUCKLES] That's a good choice,
partner. Good choice.

Oh, Mrs. Napoli, I'm so sorry

for what you're
going through here.

Just as Mrs. Rossini said,

you're a sweet, caring,
sincere man.

[CHUCKLES] Well, thank you.
Thank you.

I remember you
from the old neighborhood.

You were the best altar boy.
at Blessed Sacrament.

Oh, well. I--I did win
the Silver Cross

two years in a row. [CHUCKLES]

Then I'm making
the right decision.

-Decision?
-Yes.

I'm giving you my grandchild.

Huh?

Tony, tell me you'll do it.

I don't want to die not knowing
Billy is taken care of.

Oh, wait a minute. Mrs. Napoli.
You're not going to die.

[STUTTERS] You're just getting
a hip. You're not going to die.

That's what they told
old Mrs. Nussbaum.

This was hers. [SOBS]

Even if everything goes okay,

the doctors told me
I'll never be able

-to take care of Billy again.
-TONY: Oh.

It's true. She can't chase after
a five-year-old boy.

Well, what about you,
Mrs. Rossini?

I can't even catch a guy my age.

Anthony, swear to me that
you'll look after my Bambino.

Oh, Mrs. Napoli,
This isn't something

you just go jumping into,
you know.

Oh, I'm very tired.

I can't go into surgery
without knowing.

-Please. Swear it.
-Oh, for God's sakes, say yes.

This could be her last request.
A dying wish.

Remember? Mrs. Nussbaum.

-Tony!
-Tony!

All right, I'll take him!
I'll take Billy.

-Oh, bless you, Anthony.
-Thank you, Tony.

I missed.

[KNOCKING, DOOR OPENS]

Um, Angela, could I have
a word with you?

Sure. What is it?

Oh! [GROANS]

Billy slimed my stapler.

-Oh!
-You forget how rough it is

to have a little kid
around the house.

Yeah, yeah, but it does
have its rewards.

-Uh-huh.
-TONY: Mm-hmm.

So, how things go
at the hospital?

Oh, fine, fine.

Saw Billy's grandmother,
talked about Billy, a lot.

[CHUCKLES] Oh.

Aw. You're sad because you have
to give him back.

-No.
-You're not sad?

No, I don't have
to give him back.

You don't?

I sort of told
Billy's grandmother

that I would raise him for her.

What? You what?
Tony, what were you thinking?

Well, you--you had to be there.
Angela, I mean,

here was this old lady
pleading with me,

and Mrs. Rossini was yelling
in my ear,

and the Madonna
was staring at me.

Madonna was there?

Not the singer, the original.

Turns out that Mrs. Napoli's
worse off than they thought

and she's not gonna be able
to take care of Billy anymore.

Oh, no-- oh, my.
Oh, that's terrible.

-That poor woman. Poor Billy.
-Yeah, tell me about it.

Well, after all these years,

why did she ask you,
of all people?

Alan Thicke is tied up.
I don't know!

There's nobody else.

Oh.

Oh!

Well, is this something
you want to do?

Well, I mean, it doesn't
just concern me.

I mean, it affects you, too.

I mean, we're talking
slimy staplers

and--and handprints
on the back of your dress.

-You knew!
-Oh, Angela.

Don't we have more important
things to talk about here?

I mean, like bringing a kid
into your house?

Yes, believe me, I-- I know
I know. It's just not something

I expected to deal with
this afternoon.

Well, you're telling me, I was
gonna clean the rain gutters

and take a nap. [CHUCKLES]

I mean... [SIGHS]

Don't get me wrong.
He's a great kid.

Absolutely.
It's just that he's...

-A kid.
-Yeah.

And we've done that already.

Yes, and we were a lot
younger then.

And it's different now,
you know. I mean,

it's--it's a dangerous world
out there for kids.

It's tough on kids.

Tony, maybe that's a reason
to consider it.

Well, are you saying that
we should do it?

No, I didn't say that.
Do you think we should?

-Well, I asked you first.
-That's not fair!

Tony, there--there is a lot
to think about.

Do we have the time
to devote to him?

I don't know, between school
and work,

-I'm spread pretty thin.
-Oh, that's true.

And you know my schedule.

Oh, and think
of the responsibility.

-And the commitment.
-[METAL CLANGING]

-And the breakage.
-Oh.

After you.

-Billy!
-[GASPS]

-Billy, what are you doing?
-I'm making a cake...

Just like you, Tony.

-[DOOR OPENS]
-[EXHALES]

-[DOOR CLOSES]
-Hey, Tony.

-You've been gone for hours.
-Yeah.

I decided to just run and run
and run until I could

finally come up with a decision
about Billy.

-So, what did you decide?
-I hate running.

Oh, Tony.

I know you're going
to do the right thing.

Thanks, Mona.
But what is the right thing?

I mean, I'm going
out of my mind here.

I-- I talked to Mrs. Rossini,
I talked to a lawyer,

I talked to
the state social workers.

I-- I'm even thinking about
going and seeing a psychic.

I can tell the future.

Yeah, all I need is a candle,
two zucchinis,

and a vat of goat entrails.

-What? We're out of candles?
-I'd like to give you...

Jonathan, Jonathan how do you
feel about this?

I think Billy should live here.

Hey--Hey, an opinion! Really?
That's good.

Any--Any special reasons?

It would be nice to have
someone younger around.

-Hmm.
-Someone I could t*rture

and make my personal servant.

As always, Jonathan
you're a light in the darkness.

I don't know why I talk to them.

-Hey, Ernie, what do you say?
-Hiya, Tony. Oh, hey!

I brought Billy a surprise.

-You ready?
-Yeah, yeah.

-Ta-da!
-Oh, hey. A little water truck.

-Billy's going to love it.
-Yeah, I hope so.

You know, over the years almost
every kid on my route

wanted to be a water man.

-Is that so?
-Yeah.

Yeah. Then they turn like
five or six,

and the... dreams seem
to vanish.

Kids. You know, go figure, huh?

Hey-- Hey, Ernie, wait a minute.

You mind if I ask you
something confidential?

Whether or not to keep the kid?

How do you know everything
before I ask you?

[CHUCKLES] How does God
make a tree?

Listen, listen, with decisions
this important,

a man has got to reach down
into the depths of his soul

and seek out the truth within.

Well, I tried that. What do you
do when that doesn't work?

Uh, have you ever tried
a massage at Madame Kim's?

-Out.
-I got a coupon.

Out, Ernie. Get out.
Get out. Get out.

Take your bottle for a walk.

Hi, Dad. I came over as soon
as I got your message.

-What are you going to do?
-I don't know, Sam.

It's tough to get
a straight answer around here.

Mona's kidding me,

and Jonathan's looking
for a victim, and Ernie--

Ernie? You asked the water-man,
Ernie before you asked me.

Your own flesh and blood?

Well, he-- he dragged it
out of me, Sam.

Aw, please, Sam.

Okay, okay, look I know this
is tough for you.

Oh, you're not kidding,
you know.

Let me ask you something,
if I were to do this--

How would I feel about it?

Yeah, well, how would you feel
about it?

Would you feel threatened
or upset?

Or like someone was gonna cut
into my big inheritance?

-Well...
-Of course not, Dad.

Well, I mean. So--So, then
how would you feel?

I'd feel that he was
a lucky kid.

Oh, so you're saying that
maybe I should do it?

Dad, I think you should do
what you think is right.

Oh, rats. That's exactly
what the milkman said.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Thank you, sweetheart.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Okay, why don't you
run on ahead? Go ahead.

You haven't made a decision,
have you?

Oh, no. I'm going
out of my mind. I mean,

I don't know what I'm going
to tell Billy's grandmother.

If I could only get a sign,
you know.

Some divine guidance,
something, anything.

-Hi, Tony.
-[STUTTERING] Hi.

Divine guidance?

The lord works
in strange ways, Angela.

Oh, Sister. Sister,
could I have a word with you?

I-- I sort of have this problem.
And maybe you can help me, um,

let's see, how should I put it?
Well, let's say you had kids.

Uh, uh-- No, no, no.

Not that you could have kids.

I mean, not that you
couldn't have kids.

I mean, you probably could
have them.

I mean, maybe if you met
the right guy-- No, no, uh...

This isn't going well, is it?

-Right into the toilet.
-[TONY CHUCKLES]

Thank you, Sister. Thank you.

I just told that Nun
she can't have kids.

I think they learn that
in training.

-[CHUCKLES]
-Oh, look.

Yeah, I taught him good, huh?
[CHUCKLES]

Tony, you know, I look at him,

and I think if we
were to have a child...

I mean, um...

If I were to have another child
while you were living with me,

I would want to have one
just like him.

Well, there's one just
like him right over there.

I think you know what you
want to do.

I think, you've always known.

Yeah. I guess-- I guess I do.
It's...

It's just that
it's so much work.

Oh, I know, but you know, we've
covered for each other before.

I think we could do it again.

You do?

Yeah. Hey...

I still have
the complete Dr. Seuss.

What would I do
without you, Angela?

-Probably bother more Nuns.
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Um, hey, Angela,

could you start covering for me
right now?

Yeah.

Hello, Mrs. Napoli. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, you--you look
so much better.

But, let me tell you,
you put me through

two of the toughest
days of my whole life.

I couldn't eat,
I couldn't sleep,

and my legs were so cramped from
all the running I did.

You know, I just, I wasn't sure
I could make good on my promise,

but, but now I know what
I want to do.

I know what I have to do.
Mrs. Napoli,

I'm going to raise
your grandson. [CHUCKLES]

Who the hell are you?

I'm Tony. Tony Micelli.

You know, you--you asked me
to take care of Billy.

You begged me right before
you went into surgery.

Oh, right before surgery,
I was drugged, looped, zonked.

I also had a long talk
with Orson Welles,

but you don't see any
candy wrappers lying around.

Do you?

No, wait a minute. It happened.
This was real.

[STUTTERING] You even
remembered me when I was a boy.

You said I was sweet and caring.

You?

Wait a minute.

Weren't you best friends
with a Bobby--

Gu--Guvenelli, yeah.

Right. Guvenelli, oh,
I got you two mixed up.

He was the one
that was sweet and caring.

You broke my window
playing baseball.

You was a punk.

[STUTTERING] That was over


Once a punk, always a punk.

Well, if I was so bad, how did
I get to be an altar boy?

Big deal. Al Capone
was an altar boy.

So beat it, Scarface.

[STUTTERING]
Well, that's the past now,

we're talking about now.

I got a--I got a great job
and a terrific life.

Yeah, what do you do?

-I'm a housekeeper.
-Ching, ching, ching.

What's that?

The sound of all the money
you must be making.

All right,
so I'm not getting rich,

but--but I'm not going
to be a housekeeper forever.

I'm going to college!

-To become what?
-A teacher.

Ching, ching.

Could you forget about money
for a while?

You want Billy to grow up
in a good environment,

don't you? Well--Well, me
and Angela can give him that.

-Better than anyone else!
-Who's Angela?

She's the woman I live with--
work for-- live with-- work for.

Don't make me slap you.

I mean, well you're
being impossible.

Why are you twisting
everything I say?

Because I love my grandson.
I want the best for him

and you're not it.

Oh, yeah. Well, let me
tell you something.

You're making the biggest
mistake of your life,

and more importantly,
the biggest mistake
of Billy's life.

Oh, not only a punk, but you got
a mouth on you, too.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm going to use
use it to tell you something.

You're just a-- you're just
a cranky old woman

who made a lot more sense
under sedation

than she's making right now.

Excuse me.

You might want to keep it down
a little.

They've alerted security.

-Who are you?
-Oh, hello. I--I'm Angela.

Ah. So you're the one

he lives with, works for,
lives with, huh?

Yes, uh, yes,
that about covers it.

She says I'm not good enough
for Billy.

Not good--

Not good-- I will have you know,
he came into my house

and he helped me raise my son.

Tony is the most decent, caring,
loving,

responsible man that I have
ever known.

Listen to her.
She's in advertising.

Well, not that she's trying
to sell you something.

But the truth is, the love
he could get with us

you can't buy.

And--And if you're gonna
deny him that, then that's--

that's just plain dumb.

Okay.

Okay, what?

You need me
to spell it out for you?

Fine. I'll say it.

You'll be good for him.

If you can stand up to me,
you can stand up to him.

-He needs that.
-Now you're talking, Grandma!

S--Sorry. Go--Go ahead.

You've grown into
a fine man, Tony.

I want you and the blonde
to take care of my Billy.

Oh, Mrs. Napoli, I promise
you won't be sorry.

-I'll take good--[SMOOCHES]
-Just one more thing.

Name it.

I'm gonna be keeping
my eye on you.

You don't do right by that boy,

-you got me to answer to.
-Yes, ma'am.

I may be too old
to take care of Billy...

but I still can
take care of you.

There are people I can call.

I'm sure of that, Mrs. Napoli.

-What people is she talking--
-Shh!

-Grandma, these are for you.
-Oh, thank you, Billy.

Oh, here I got them.

-So tell me, you like these two?
-Yeah.

Good. You're going to be
staying with them a while, huh.

But they'll bring you
to visit me. Right?

-Oh, yes absolutely.
-Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Every day. Every day.

-You okay with that?
-Yeah.

-[CHUCKLES]
-Aw, you hear that, Angela? Huh?

He loves us. [SMOOCHES]

-Oh, Mrs. Napoli,
you won't regret this.
-Oh, no are you kidding me?

He's gonna be the healthiest,
happiest, most well-adjusted kid

there ever was. We're gonna
take such good care of him.

Hey, Billy, come here.

-Billy?
-Billy?

-Billy?
-Billy?

Billy, where did you go, Billy?

All right, okay,
we're gonna find him.

Don't be calling nobody.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Who's the Boss will be back
in a moment. Stick around.

Oh, hi, Angela. Hey,

I was having a catch
with Billy today

and let me tell you something.
This kid's something.

He's something.

I mean, his fast ball's already
up to 12 miles an hour.

I mean, we could have one heck
of a ballplayer here.

I guess. But did you see
the pictures he drew today?

We could have another Picasso
on our hands.

Well, all kids draw
like Picasso, don't they?

I just don't want to limit him.

You know, he could be a great
Supreme Court Justice

-or a great novelist or--
-Or a Nobel prize winner.

Hey, lady, one bottle or two?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]