02x12 - No More Practical Jokes

[bunniefuu]

[female narrator] Previously on "The Real World.."

[Tami] I think Irene was actually

the most stable person in the household.

[priest] 'Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Kerns.'

It's kind of scary to think who's gonna take her place.

[singing in foreign language]

You guys just r*ped me.

Every single one of you, I'm gonna find something out.

You'll all pay.

[Dominic] This is the true story..

♪ True story ♪

[Tami] Of seven strangers..

[Jon] Picked to live in a house..

[Jon] Beth!

[Beth] And have their lives taped..

[Aaron] To find out what happens..

[Irene] When people stop being polite..

[Glen] And start getting real.

[male narrator] "The Real World," California.

With six, it seemed actually almost..

...quiet in the house.

Pleasantly quiet.

[instrumental music]

What we'll do..

[Jon] Great, let's make him mad.

We'll just go have him..

We'll have him walk out to go find his car, right?

How you gonna get his keys?

[Jon] 'That's no problem, Aaron can distract him.'

[instrumental music]

[Jon] I don't know who brought it up or where it came from

but it was time to do a practical joke

on Dominic.

Doesn't matter if I'm around or not, I'll play dumb.

I'll play dumb, like, I don't know what's going on.

I'll come in, I'll have a sweatshirt down there

I'll put it on top of his wallet and his keys

I'll pull out his keys and give them to you.

[instrumental music]

- He is the funniest guy. - Glen?

Oh, I think he's so funny.

- Got a good sense of humor. - Him and Jon.

[Jon] Domer, uh, was getting ready to go out.

We steal the keys from his pocket

and, uh, move his truck.

[Aaron] We just said that there was a car in the lot

that Dominic didn't see, said it was a truck.

I said that Jon was gonna tow it.

To make it even worse, we said to Dominic

"You know, do you think we should tow the car?"

- He said "Yeah." - Tow him.

- 'Tow him.' - Tow his a*s.

We're gonna get, we're gonna get the license plate.

We're gonna get the number, we'll be back.

[Aaron] I kind of got together

with, uh, the girl he was going

on a date with, her name was Sunny

and told her what we were doing.

Don't go to the alley. Don't let him go through the alley.

[Aaron] 'I'm gonna love it!'

- Aaron! - I love this so much.

- Hello? - Did you park the car here?

- Oh ♪ ♪ ♪. - You're screwed.

[chuckling] Look at him.

[Sunny] 'Was that car there when you came?'

Hold it, let me check the alley.

Dude, be mellow, don't make me laugh.

Just be mellow.

- Are you pissed? I'm sorry. - Yeah, no, I am pissed.

- But, you know what-- - I'm sorry I'm laughing.

No, it's insane in this alley.

[Dominic] 'Who called the tow truck?'

- Jon. - You guys..

His car is totally gone.

- My ♪ ♪ ♪ car ain't there. - You're ♪ ♪ ♪ me!

I ♪ ♪ ♪ wish.

[laughing] Jon called, dude. I did not call.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Jon, who did you call?

[Jon] 'I towed--'

Wait a minute, they said.. What did they..?

They said, "Here's the number, triple-A or somethin'."

They just gave you a number of the line?

Dude, what.. You honestly said to the operator

"Give me a, a tow-truck company?"

[Jon]Yes.

Santa Monica, please.

Oh, I mean Venice.

I-I need a tow-truck company.

I don't know the name, no.

Can you just get me any?

You have how many?

Jon, did you, did you give them an address?

Yes. What number they gave ya?

- 'I might recognize it.' - .

No, it had zeroes in it.

[Aaron laughing]

[Dominic] 'Did you write it down anywhere, Jon?'

No, I memorized it

'cause I dialed that number right after--

Okay, listen, listen, you sure you didn't park down the street?

Positive. 'Cause I'm that idiot that said, "Tow the truck."

That's right. That makes me feel better.

- Jon, don't. - Don't what?

- Don't make ♪ ♪ ♪ stupid fun-- - I'm not making jokes.

- You just had my ♪ ♪ ♪ car towed. - 'I did not.'

I had that jeep towed.

I swear I'm gonna come over there..

- 'I can't believe this.' - 'That's no solution.'

[Aaron] I guess it seemed really believable.

He started freaking out.

[chuckling] He couldn't believe

that Jon was being so stupid.

[Jon] Dom, are you pissed off at me?

- No, Jon. - Oh, this is my fault?

Seriously, I-I-I'm missing

every ounce of humor in this, at all.

Just suppose I told you, it was an April Fools joke!

- April Fools, buddy. - Ah, you a*s ♪ ♪ ♪.

[laughter]

I told you I'd get you back, didn't I?

- Domer's mad. - 'It worked so perfect.'

- Sunny, are you ready to go? - Yeah.

I felt this small.

[Dominic] 'Hey, Jon.'

- Yours is coming, buddy. - Bye, you guys.

Be careful when you're driving my truck.

[instrumental music]

We kind of..

...knew that our new roommate was coming.

I thought our new roommate was gonna be black.

- Not necessarily gorgeous. - Really attractive female.

- April playmate. - Supermodel.

Hello.

- Hey, is this ? - 'Yeah.'

- Oh yay! - Hey, I'm Jon.

Jon, I'm Beth.

- Beth? - Yeah.

- Another Beth. - Hi.

We got another Beth.

Oh, my God, there's another Beth here?

[Jon] 'This is Glen.'

- Beth. - Nice to meet you.

Is the laundry downstairs?

You can use this, and you can use all this.

If you wanna use any of these shelves.

Okay, cool.

So, are you singing here, while you're here?

Uh, not really.

- So, where are you from, Beth? - Oregon.

- Yeah? - I do scenic painting.

- Oh, do you? - Craft service.

- I do craft service too. - Oh, do you?

- Yeah. - How funny.

[instrumental music]

[Beth A.] So what's all the rules?

- What am I not supposed to do? - Rules?

[Glen] 'No, let her go through what I went through.'

Just don't tell her anything.

So, do you guys have your own cupboards?

[Glen] You know what, you can take..

Irene's used to be down here.

[Jon] Actually wherever you can find room.

[Beth A.] So, are you working while you're here?

- No. - You're not working?

- Uh-uh. - Glen, are you working?

I will be soon.

Oh, right on. What do you do?

[Glen] 'Well, I'm in a band.'

- But I also, um.. - 'What kinda band?'

An alternative one.

- I'm in AA. - 'What's that?'

I don't drink. This is going out of my cupboard.

- 'You don't drink either?' - Come on, come on out.

- 'No.' - Me neither.

You don't drink?

I'm only .

I like Jon. I really like Jon a lot.

[Beth A.] I try not to judge a situation unless I've been in it.

It's hard not to, but I feel

that's kind of the way Jon is.

This is Jon.

Hey, Dom.

Hey, we got our new roommate.

Yeah! Guess what her name is.

- Beth. - 'Are you serious?'

[Jon] Yeah, and I swear she has a cowboy hat

and the first thing she said was "Yee-haw."

- 'She has a cowboy hat on?' - Yeah.

[Dominic] 'And the first thing she said was "Yee-haw."'

She's a country singer, and she likes to go two-stepping.

- 'Can I speak to her?' - Here she comes.

I told him you were a country singer.

Just, so say, "Yee-haw."

- Howdy! - 'Hey, Beth.'

- How's it going? - 'Wonderful.'

'You're gonna live with us for a while?'

Mm-hmm.

- 'Where are you from?' - 'Arkansas.'

[laughing]

- 'You serious?' - No, I'm from Oregon.

I'm not a country singer.

She's not trying to act like somebody that she's not.

And that's very refreshing, that's very nice.

- 'Hi.' - 'Pooh-Bear!'

- Tami, this is Beth. - Tami baby.

- Oh, hi. How are you? - Good. Great!

[Beth A.] When I first came in, everybody warned me

"Be careful of Tami, or be sensitive to Tami."

And I thought

why is the whole house walking on eggshells for someone?

Then when I met her

and saw how she has to have control of things

I went, "Oh, this is why."

Because there's something else going on in her life.

[Tami] 'Whose big radio is that?'

- 'Where?' - 'In the bathroom.'

- Mine. - Okay.

Um, I just wanna tell you what, what type of person I am.

I'm like really really overly neat.

And then the bathroom, that's like my place.

- 'Sanctuary.' - Yeah, very sacred.

And when, I just give that respect to other people

when they go in there.

It's very neat, very clean.

None of my things are on the counter.

And that's the way I like to walk into it too.

Okay. Can I leave my shampoo on the bathtub?

- Is that cool? - That's where Beth keeps hers.

[Aaron] 'Can I just say something?'

After midnight, just don't wake Tami up.

And if you do, put the knives away.

Tami is very straightforward and, um..

She's got a lot of issues in her life

that make her react harshly.

[Tami] They all think that I'm being very bitchy

or that I'm very moody, and it's not that.

It's just that my life is not focused

on making everybody happy.

My life is focused on making me happy.

I don't know her very well, because she doesn't open up.

But then she tells you that that's one of her big fears

is opening up.

[instrumental music]

I used to do crazy stuff when I was a teenager.

Like what?

I mean, I never stole from people or robbed people

or robbed places or stole.. You know what I mean?

I didn't do stuff like that.

'You know.'

'I'm just, I was just real mischievous.'

'You know, like, climbing buildings'

and hanging out in cemeteries

and you know, getting into trouble.

What did you do in the cemeteries?

Go into the bars when I was a kid.

We'd get real drunk up there.

One time, I got real drunk

and I was hanging over the edge throwing up.

- And I flipped off of it. - And you don't drink now.

What made you decide to stop?

I think the main reason

that I stopped is 'cause, um..

I drank real heavily.

Eventually I became like a real heavy drinker.

'I went through a lot of things that, that, uh..'

drinking helped me to numb out.

I got to the point where I was a total basket-case.

I didn't know if I was gonna hurt myself or someone else.

I had no faith for life.

I didn't wanna live.

That's when I quit.

[Jon] Well, that's a good thing.

'That's when I got on my hands and knees and I said..'

"If there is a Lord, help me now."

And boom! There it was, my life changed

the next day, literally.

My whole life changed.

Wow.

[Beth A.] I still have issues with anger

that I would like to get over.

I've been told for years

that I can't accomplish things, and also I feel like there is

um, issues of success for me.

Being able to start something and finish it.

[Beth A.] Doing menial labor on movie sets

or PA, Production Assistant, where you're basically

running errands for people

I don't see anything demeaning about it at all.

I see this being a part of making movies.

A very vital part.

It's a great experience to get a little

taste of everything.

Every department, 'cause you're helping everyone.

Right now, I am working with special effects.

And, um, one of the effects that we did

was this, the evil nurse has

got a sphere on her head, and it saws its way out.

[director] 'Action.'

[crew member #] 'One, two, three, four'

'five, six, seven. Clear.'

[Beth A.] Well, it's kinda funny because you get

all psyched up to see it

and you're like waiting and waiting and waiting.

Then it happens, and you're kinda like, "Yeah?"

[Beth] I like Beth. One night we were talking about relationships

and, uh, it was a nice little bonding time for Beth and I.

I almost got married.

In LA.

Go on.

I truly was in love for the first time in my life.

[Beth] 'You still in love with him?'

No.

I love him, as a person, but it wasn't right.

I mean, I loved him so much.

I mean, love and respect.

He went to Japan.

And he was supposed to come back and supposed to come back.

And every time he was supposed to come back

he wouldn't come back.

I was totally heartbroken.

And then I felt so much pain that I just shut down

and stopped loving him.

And he came back and it wasn't the same anymore.

And then I dated another guy that I really liked a lot.

I was really connected to.

The rest of 'em were bozos, put that in the record book.

[laughing]

I really like Beth.

She's really fun.

And she's positive, and we have a good time.

She's likes me, she's like, "Yeah!

"Let's do something. Let's have fun.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go."

♪ You better work ♪

♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Work it girl ♪

♪ Give a twirl ♪

♪ Do your thing ♪

♪ On the runway ♪

[Beth A.] I didn't wanna do this with Beth.

The only reason I did it is because I like her.

[Glen] Beth Anthony, she reminds me of somebody, like..

I'd like to hang out with back in Philly.

I don't think I've bonded with anybody as much

as I've bonded with my friends back at home.

I don't know how to deal with being homesick.

The only way I'm gonna be able to deal with it

is when my, my band gets out here.

You excited to see your buddies?

Yeah.

It's gonna be strange, you know?

You haven't seen them for how long?

Well, you didn't see them this weekend

'cause they were driving out here right?

[Aaron] One of the things I most admired about Glen

was when he was talking about his friends.

You know, his friends he'd had in his band.

And how he was gonna stick with them.

And he's even so selfless to say..

"I'm gonna help 'em pay for rent in a place

I'm not even living in."

- Here's your buddies, dude. - Yeah, man. Oh, man.

[laughs]

What's up?

[Glen] The name of my band is "Perch." There's four of us.

They're the greatest guys in the world.

Before I got into this situation my band was coming out.

We were gonna go somewhere.

We were just gonna get up and leave.

The reason we chose LA was because I was coming out here.

I didn't choose for them to come out here.

They decided to come out here and follow me.

I feel like I'm home right now, because they're here.

It hasn't quite hit me yet.

We're here in Venice Beach.

I mean, I've lived in LA before

but I haven't explored these areas.

[Glen] Our guitarist Rich is from South Africa.

Ivan, he's the bass player.

It's great to have him out here

because it seems like we're both working together.

And that's what being in a band is all about.

[Beth A.] 'What's your friend with the short hair?'

- Ivan. - Ivan.

He's so nice.

- Look at that. - Beth.

[Jon] 'What's with your shirt?'

- It's a joke. - 'But it's a joke?'

Well, I'm g*y, but I mean, it's a joke shirt.

- Oh, you are? - 'Yeah.'

- Okay. - I'm a l*sbian.

Okay. Alright.

[Glen] I love how she's just so casual.

I know. I'm just like, "Okay. Alright."

For me, I kinda, I kinda felt uneasy.

And I don't really know why.

- 'Do you mind?' - No.

'Cause I'm very nosey, and it's a lot.

I'm like, so many questions.

No, I was raised around g*y people all my life.

It's all normal to me. It doesn't bother me.

[Jon] 'Honestly, you're the first person I've ever met'

that came right up to me and said that word.

Was open, outright and said that.

'Like, where I'm from, I've never had someone do that.'

I mean, that's one of the reasons

I wanted to come out here and do this

is because I've never, I don't meet people

like Tami or like Glen or like yourself in Kentucky at all.

It's just like any other lifestyle.

You fall in love, you buy a house together

you live together, you do IRA's, you know.

I mean.. It's very monogamous for me

being in a relationship with a woman.

I've had a few lovers who were so wonderful and were great men

but, um, it's nothing like what it is to be with a woman.

It's not familiar.

It's not comfortable for me anymore at all.

It's safe to assume that the majority of your friends

that will be coming over will be in fact lesbians.

Uh, no. I've had a lot of diverse friends in my life.

'Yeah.'

I mean, I could tag 'em before they come through the door

if it'll make you feel better.

No.

[instrumental music]

♪ Oh yeah ♪

Should I get my ear pierced?

Give me a break.

[Jon] It's either my ear or my bellybutton.

I haven't decided which.

- You're lying to me. - No.

Knock it off.

What would they say if I went back to Kentucky

with an earring in my bellybutton?

They'd probably say, "Go back to where you came from."

Isn't that what they'd say?

Yeah.

[Jon] Society kind of has this stereotypical

g*y person that, that's not a nice person to be around.

But, you know, that I haven't seen

any of that at all in Beth.

Before you got here

I drank like a pitcher of Kool-Aid every two days.

And they all made fun of me 'cause of my sugar intake.

So now you're not drinking any liquid at all, right?

[Jon] 'No, I drink a lot of water now.'

Good. That's much better for you anyway.

Yeah, doesn't taste as good as Kool-Aid.

For me, you know

I just see Beth as the person she is

and not who she prefers sexually.

[instrumental music]

[Glen] The band's only been together about four months.

So, Ivan and I, we have a lot of things to work out.

If we're gonna go in and record the songs

we have to touch 'em up.

And structure each song, so we know how it's gonna be

when we go into the studio, so we don't waste money.

I have lyrics in my mind, but I haven't actually

written any down.

You see now, that's where we gotta work on.

I mean..

But, uh, we haven't done that, because we sit around like..

"No, it should go like this."

What if we just charted it out?

Yeah, Glen, when are we gonna get lyrics?

'Come on, Glen, what do you..'

I'm telling you..

I don't like putting lyrics to it

until the music's structured.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from a friend of ours.

His name's Harland.

He played our rough demo tape

that we did in the basement for a producer.

His name's Hilton Rosenthal.

He said that he thinks there's potential in the music.

He's gonna let us record four tracks

in the studio, and then he's gonna see

what we can do with it.

I mean, I think the energy comes through

from what I heard.

Whatever you do, don't lose that.

Right.

When we formed, we always thought, like..

I'd be this hard edge to it

and then all of a sudden, Rich would have the melodies.

And Ivan, just, that would drive it, make it sound really nice.

So, that was, I hope we can accomplish that.

We couldn't imagine that

a big-time producer like Hilton Rosenthal

would be interested and would let us use his studio.

I mean, he's hooking us up with something we normally

wouldn't expect or even have the opportunity to do.

[Dominic] 'Is the band finished with the washer and dryer?'

[laughter]

Is the drummer arriving?

I hope, you know, I just, I just hope he doesn't bring

a ♪ ♪ ♪ orchestra into the house

'cause we'll all be in trouble then.

[Glen] I went to a club with Beth Anthony

and her girlfriend, Candy.

It was a great place, it reminded me of, uh..

raves I would go to back in Philadelphia.

There was g*y and straight.

I have no problem with that

but, um, some people have a big problem

with having any kind of g*y people around. It's a shame.

[Tami] 'What do you think about Beth being a l*sbian?'

It doesn't bother me at all.

Had it been a male that was h*m*

would it have bothered you?

No, I don't think so. Does it bother you?

See, because I work with gays and lesbians every day.

But it's never been so close to home.

You know what I mean?

Like this person is in my room.

- 'Actually this--' - In the next bed.

I'm trying to let my guard down, and make myself more friendly

and, and inviting.

And that'd be, I feel that, that's gonna be very hard

for me to do that with her.

[Dominic] 'Because of sexual orientation?'

Yeah, like if I give Beth S. a hug, it's nothing.

But if I give Beth A. a hug

even though there may still be nothing

I just..

I'd just feel...weird.

I would feel weird.

[Dominic] 'I actually have no inclination to give either Beth..'

[laughter]

[Tami] 'Me either, I will just use it.'

[Dominic] 'That wasn't a good analogy, but..'

'No, I don't think sexual orientation would bother me.'

If someone were staying in the same room?

I hope not.

I don't think it would.

What about you, Jon?

[Jon] 'I made up my mind before I found out.'

That, you know, I thought she was a nice person.

- Right. - She's very interesting.

So when she told me that she was a h*m*

that didn't really..

I mean, I've already made up my mind about her.

You know, that I was gonna be friends with her.

But I mean..

I guess it's gonna be an experience for me

'cause I've never had to deal with that as a reality.

- You know what I mean? - It's weird for me.

'Cause I know I'm gonna have to be this person's friend.

'Cause if I block myself off, then it'll be like discrimi..

You know.

Like, "I'm not talking to her because she's g*y."

- 'Bigoted.' - Exactly.

[Tami] Am I bigoted?

Am I being that way?

[instrumental music]

[female narrator] On the next "Real World.."

[Jon] Dominic told me that he was gonna be going home

to Ireland to, um, see his father.

My mom and my sister told me that he's very ill.

I never thought for a second that I'd be

without either of my parents.

And all of sudden I'm close to losing one.

I'm dealing with emotions that I've never felt before.

Never had to.

Now, the other place you're gonna look for, um..

warehouse space is..

you cross Venice Boulevard, and there's a bunch of storefronts

from Brooks Avenue on either side

of Abbot Kinney Boulevard, okay?

So just keep Abbot Kinney, okay?

- Abbot Kinney. I got that. - Stay on Abbot Kinney.

And you might be able to pick something up there

for about a , a month.

Are you listening to me?

Yeah, you can't screw this up.

- Okay. - No way.