03x05 - King Gus

[bunniefuu]

[ Up tempo music plays ]
good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

[ Roars ]

Good morning.

Good morning!

[ Eagle shrieks ]

Boy, oh boy,
I love the food court.

So much culture
under one roof.

Why a does a nobody
wanna eat a my chunds?

Oh, my goodness.

Just look
at all this culture.

[ Tink! ]

We got everything.

You got everything,

But you couldn't get me
a salad, or even some chunds?

Sorry, mr. Gus,
but we've finally reached

The moment we've all
been waiting for.

[ Creak! Creak! ]

[ Trumpet plays,
triangle dings ]

It's the troll hole filler club
sandwich special.

[ Gasps ]

Just need to remove
this tiny sword. Huh?!

[ Groaning, stretching ]
can't pull out the sword!

[ Exhales sharply ]
aw, geez!

I can't eat this sandwich
with a sword in it.

Relax, uncle g.
I'll do it.

Oh, pizza steve,
you're the strongest guy I know.

Hup!
Ahh!

Hold onto your babies,
ladies,

'Cause pizza steve is about
to complete a simple task.

[ Groaning ]

[ Whip! Whip! Whip! ]

It can't be done.

Oh, say it ain't so!

I guess no sandwich
for me.

[ Sobs ]

Stop it
with this foolishness.

[ Pop! ]

[ Gasping ]
what did I do?

"What did I do?" He says.
Let me tell you.

[ Medieval music plays ]

Twas saideth longeth ago eth

That he eth who eth might eth
pull eth the swordy ward

From the stoney wone...
[ Pop! ]

...shall be king
of the food court.

Y'all mean
like king arthur?

Yes.
This is foolishness.

Typical mr. Gus.

Doesn't have what it takes
to be a king.

Stop bowing!

Whatever you wish...

My liege.
[ Medieval music plays, stops ]

Just stop it.
I'm gonna go get a refill.

King, king!

Please allow me to get that
for you, king gus.

Thanks, uncle g,
but I can manage on my own.

Nonsense!

A king never does things
for himself

Like the unclean
common folk.

That's my job.

From now on,
you get special privileges.

Does this mean I can do things
like decide where to eat?

Most certainly, my lord.

And I'll make sure
all your kingly demands are met,

For I am the king's hand,

Your barbarian sl*ve.

Well, if being king means
I'll get some respect,

Then I guess I'm okay
with it.

[ Trumpet plays ]
huh?

That's your round table,
my liege.

[ Groans ]
[ zip! Zoom! ]

And what shall
thy desire now?

Hmm, give me some
of that delicious ice cream.

[ Whip! Whip! ]

[ Ax scraping ]

But...

Now, open up
that sweet, sweet mouth.

[ Slurp! ]
Mmm, yum.

That's a spicy icy.

[ Sarcastically ] I hope
you enjoyed my ice cream.

You better watch it,
peasant steve.

You don't want
to upset your king.

It'll be a cold day
in a wood fire pizza oven

Before I call you that.

As a matter of fact,
you are no king of mine!

[ Gasps ]
banished!

But, my lord,
I'm sure he didn't mean it.

The king has spoken,

And I hereby banish pizza steve
from my kingdom.

King's hand,
get him out of my sight.

[ Laughs ]

You can't banish me.
Uncle g wouldn't have it.

I'm sorry,
peasant steve.

Aah!
Wha what's going on?

No, you can't do this to me!

[ Screams ] stop! Please!

This is what
a good king would do, right?

Whatever you say, man.

Yeah, whatever I say.

I have my rights!

I'm sorry, pizza steve.

[ Screams ]

But I serve the king now.
[ Sobs ]

Uncle grandpa, why?!

Why have you
forsaken me?!

[ Squeak! Squeak! ]

You serve your king well.

Will my lord
be needing anything else?

First order of business,
bring me

A nice, hot plate
of those mouth watering chunds.

[ Squish! ]

Hear ye, hear ye!

King gus
requires your chunds.

I would love a to give a
the king a my chunds.

But a my chunds
she's a closed a for good!

A boohoo!
No chunds!

No chunds?!

[ Growls ]
then he's banished!

Got it!
You heard him, chundsy.

King's orders.

[ Grunting ]

A king needs
his chunds.

You dare do that
in my kingdom?!

Banished!

Just for spilling soda?
Okay.

[ Grunting ]

You heard the king,
weirdos.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

That guy just looked at me!
Banished!

Isn't that a little harsh,
your fanciness?

Banished!
Of course, my king.

[ Grunting ]

That thing is too yellow!
Banished!

[ Grunts ]
where?!

But that's a "wet floor" sign,
my lord?

Banish them all.
Banish the unholy!

[ Grunts, pants ]

[ Pop! ]
Pizza steve!

Uncle g, help me!

Sorry, pizza steve,
the king has gone mad,

And I'm an extension
of his madness.

I should have never ordered
that sandwich!

Doesn't matter now.
Gus is king.

He's the chosen one.

In the entire history
of his reign,

Only you spoke up
against him.

And look where
it got me

Shackled away like a freak
in a cage!

This may go against
the oath I've sworn to,

But I don't care anymore!

Farewell.

[ Smooches, blows kiss ]

My true king.

[ Gasps ]
pizza steve is back!

Will my lord
be needing anything else?

Did you banish the custodian?
His shirt was untucked.

Yes, my lord.
And the falafel hut guy?

His accent was too hard
to understand.

Banished, as well.
Good, good.

You understand
they had to be banished.

They betrayed their king!

They have to pay the price,
all of them!

Except you.

You're the only one left,
the only one I can trust.

You would never
betray me.

[ Gulps ]
never, my lord.

Wait.
Why'd you hesitate?

[ Gulps ] I didn't.

You just did it again!

Y y you're hurting me.

That's because pain
is all there is!

Hey!
Huh?!

Did somebody
order a pizza?

'Cause I'm about
to deliver a slice

With extra vengeance!

You're supposed
to be banished?!

And you're supposed
to be smart.

Now prepare
to be dethroned!

[ Grunts ] ha!

My hero.

Whoa!
Steady.

Aah!
[ Screams ]

Ooh!
Oh, my ankle!

Okay, time out!

Oh!

[ Grunting ]
I might've sprained it.

Aah!
Oh, no.

Oh,
it's swelling up.

I did not need this
right now!

Pathetic.

King's hand,
banish this fool.

Uh, I can't, my lord.

What?! How dare you
disobey your king!

I'm sorry,
but if being the king's hand

Means banishing
my friends,

I would have never signed up
for the job.

I am hereby through
hurting anyone anymore.

Fine.
I'll do it myself.

Wait! I was only kidding
about the whole thing.

Seriously,
you're the king!

I'm gonna banish you
for good!

[ Shuddering ]

Gaspy mcgasperson!

Why isn't there a "wet floor"
sign over this spillage?

Oh, doesn't matter.

I'm still gonna finish
the jo ow!

[ Gasps ]
the true king!

Take me, lord.
I am your sl*ve.

Oh, yeah, boy!

Sweet poetic justice.

[ Shudders ] guys,
I don't know what came over me.

Having all that power
really got to my head.

I'm sorry for acting
like such a fool.

Mr. Gus, that's because
you don't have

What it takes to be a king.

A true king rules
with his heart,

Not with an iron fist.

I declare this day forward,
pizza steve shall be

The greatest king this
food court has ever bestowed!

[ All screaming ]

Keep it moving, chundsy!

Now, this is what a good king
would do, right?

Whatever you say, man.

[ Breathing heavily ]
[ screams ]

Sports!

[ Rock music plays ]

What should we do today,
salvador?

What we always do, rick

Prank call.

[ Both laugh ]

[ Chuckling ]
I know just who to call.

[ Dialing ]

Ooh, it's ringing!

[ Telephone rings ]
hello?

Quiet, quiet.
Oh!

Uh, is
is your refrigerator cold?

I believe most refrigerators
are cold.

Then you better go get it!
[ Farts ]

[ Both laughing ]

A prank call, huh?

I was going to have
a romantic evening in

With pamela paddlepot.
[ Chattering ]

I'm so sorry about this,
pamela.

But instead...

I'm gonna to have to teach
you punks a lesson!

[ Dial tone ]
he hung up!

[ Both scream ]
[ telephone rings ]

Together: hello?

So you like prank calls?!
Do ya?!

Let's see how you like
these prank calls!

Hey, guys, people who say,
"what," get slimed.

What?

[ Laughs ]

Hey, dingle dorf.
What?

Enjoy your slime!

[ Telephone ringing ]

Hello?

Salvador beastoid?
Yes?

You're our big winner!

[ Gasps ]
oh, my gosh!

What do I win?!

Uncle grandpa!

[ Pop! Creak! Whip! ]

Babalouie, babalouie!
[ expl*si*n ]

Rick, rick!
Are you there, rick?

It's for you.

Don't you want to know
what you've won?

Uh, I guess.

It's demons.
[ Demons growl ]

[ Screams ]

Yeehaw, partner!

I'm a cowboy now!

Magic spell.

[ Both screaming ]

Oh, and one more thing.

[ Both sobbing ]
is your refrigerator running?

Together:
[ sobbing ] yeah?

Well, then,
you better go catch it.

[ Farts ]
[ both sobbing ]

Uncle grandpa,
what are you doing?

I'm just playing
with the beastoid brothers.

They're too funny.
[ Farts ]

That was quite delicious.