03x12 - Pizza Eve

[bunniefuu]

[ Up tempo music plays ]
good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

[ Roars ]

Good morning.

Good morning!

♪

[ Birds squawking ]

Hey, uncle g.

Pizza steve!
What ya got here, buddy?

It's italian gelato.

Cool guy food.
You wouldn't understand.

Mr. Gus:
that's right, girl.

Well, okay.
Why don't we get together then?

What is this?!

[ Stretch! Pop! ]


Can't wait.

Okay,
see you soon, girl.

Who was that,
your girlfriend?

Nah, I was speaking
with my masseuse, rolanda.

See, rolanda has a way of making
these old dinosaur bones feel

Well,
I got a girlfriend.

So that's
pretty awesome.

[ Sighs ]

Mm hmm.

But her name isn't rolanda,
like your lame girlfriend.

My girlfriend's name is,
uh, pizza eve!

If you say so.

But I call her my g. F.,
Which stands for girlfriend.

[ Sloop! ]

Oh, and did I mention
she's a millionaire?

[ Chuckles ]
[ spits ]

All right,
I see where this is going.

If you really have
a girlfriend,

Why not invite her over
for dinner?

Okay, sure, fine.

I'll pencil it in
next year sometime.

How about tonight?
Tonight?

Unless of course you
don't really have a girlfriend.

Uh...

Come on, uncle grandpa
will even cook.

I'll make eggs!

It's all settled then.

Dinner at 5:00 sharp.

Bring your girlfriend.

Pizza steve:
so, you want to meet
my girlfriend, huh, mr. Gus?

♪

[ Stretch! Pop! ]

I'll show you
I've got a girlfriend!

[ Stretch! Snap! ]

♪

What!?
Oh, no, no, no, no, nah.

That's right, it's me
pizza steve's

Awesome girlfriend,
pizza eve!

[ Gasp ]

Well, hello, pizza eve.

Won't you come in
and join us for dinner?

Actually, I can't.

I left my jet skis
double parked

In a no jet ski zone,
so I can't stay.

Oh, no, I insist.

Eggs!

Uncle grandpa, come meet
pizza steve's girlfriend.

[ Stretch! ]

Good
mo mo mo moooooooooorning!

Uh, uncle grandpa,
you feeling okay?

I don't know, mr. Gus.

I suddenly have a desire
to marry pizza eve,

Buy a house,
and start a family!

What's the matter
with me, mr. Gus?!

[ Sobbing ]
[ laughs ]

You're in love!

Love?
Love?

Oh, no way.

I'm pizza steve's
girlfriend,

And you can't date
another man's girl.

Right, mr. Gus!

Mr. Gus?

Now, usually I'd say
it's not cool

To steal another man's lady,

But in this particular
situation, I'd say,

"The heart wants
what the heart wants."

And I cannot deny
my heart!

Will you marry me,
pizza eve?

What?
[ Screams ]
[ smooches ]

Come, my love!

Mr. Gus, help!

These are some good eggs,
uncle grandpa.

Can't talk,
getting married.

[ Pop! ]

Want to hold hands?
No!

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Panting, gasps ]

I paint what I see.

[ Panting, groans ]

So, tell me something,
pizza eve,

Why do you keep
running away, girl?

We could be living
the dream together.

But you're still carrying
a torch for pizza steve.

I got to know pizza eve, what's
he got that I don't got?

[ Grunts ]

Pizza steve has
radical pepperoni slices,

Cool dude shades,
and an awesome speed cycle.

Face it, uncle g.,
You'll just never be

As cool
as my main squeeze.

[ Sobbing ]

Though it hurts to hear you
say these cruel words,

I know now
what I must do.

[ Muffled ]
good bye, pizza eve.

Honestly, I'm surprised
he gave up so easily.

[ Engine revs ]

Uncle g?!
Call me pizza grandpa.

Check out
this awesome atv.

And these are
my custom pepperoni slices

Complete with life like
pizza grease.

Hey,
where'd you get those?

Pizza steve's room.

But that's stealing.

That may be true,
but can pizza steve do this?

[ Tires screeching ]

Can pizza steve
do burnouts backwards

While drinking
chocolate milk?

[ Gulping ]
[ tires screech ]

[ Coughs ]

Sun glasses, cool clothes,
extreme vehicles, pepperoni?

He's biting my I mean
he's biting pizza steve's style.

Pizza steve
will not let this stand!

Nobody out pizza steve's
pizza steve.

[ Gulping ]
whoo!

So, how was that,
pizza eve?

Cool dude enough
for ya?

Pizza eve?
Pizza eve?

Don't play hard to get.

Hey, uncle g,
interesting look you got there.

Where's pizza eve?

Oh, she had to go deep
into the ocean

To swim
with some man eating sharks.

Man eating sharks?!
What do you mean?

Sorry, uncle g,
pizza eve's moved on.

That's just how
she rolls.

She can't be tied down
by no man.

B b but
but she must be

So vulnerable out there
in the deep blue sea.

Excuse me,
uncle grandpa.

You better come clean,
man.

This lie about
having a girlfriend

Is getting out
of control.

[ Laughs ] I don't know
what you're talking about.

All right,
if you're not gonna tell

Uncle grandpa the truth,
then I will!

No, don't do it!
[ Mumbles ]

Uncle grandpa,
pizza steve's been

Uncle grandpa?
[ Door creaks ]

He's bounced out of here!

You know what that means?

He still has
my pepperoni slices!

What?!
[ Warble! ]

Because uncle grandpa's believed
every single one of your lies,

That means he believed
the last one, too.

Which means, at this
very moment, he's...

Together: ... Swimming in an
ocean full of man eating sharks!

Pizza eve!

Come back to me!

[ Sobbing ]

[ Nautical music plays ]

Grandpa ahoy!

Uncle g., Get out
of the shark infested water!

I'm not leaving here
until I find pizza eve.

All right, pizza steve,
tell him.

I don't think
that's really necessary.

Tell him or I'll throw you
in a shark's mouth myself.

Fine, twist my arm.

Listen, uncle g.,
I have a confession to make.

[ Gulps ]

Pizza eve is me.

Pizza eve
you're back!

No, uncle g.

Don't you get it?
I'm pizza eve.

Pizza steve, what did you do
with pizza eve?

[ Sizzle! Slap! ]

[ Stretch! Snap! ]

Okay, one more time

I'm pizza eve.

[ Whoosh! ]
Pizza eve!

All right, look
it's real easy, bro.

There is no pizza eve!

I've been fooling you
into thinking

I've had a girlfriend
this entire time to be cool.

But I've learned that friends
are more important

Than trying
to keep up a lie.

I've learned you can lie
to your friends,

You can lie to your heart,

But you can't lie
to your friends' hearts.

And that's the end
of my monologue.

[ Pop! ]

You are the most beautiful
creature I've ever laid eyes on.

I think I'm in love.

[ Splash ]

[ Whistling ]

Announcer:
live from hollywood

The 224th annual grampies
with your host, uncle grandpa.

Good evening!

♪ It's a wonderful night
for a gramp ♪

[ Grunting, groaning ]
[ feedback ]

[ Applause ]

Yes, it's the grampie show.

Whoa, look at this set.

If I didn't know any better,

I'd think that there was
an award named after me.

[ Crickets chirping ]
[ laughs ]

Oh, man, where did they get
this guy?

The animation industry
is a place of magic,

Where dreams are made
and souls are sold.

With that being said,
our first award

For best animated series
for tweens goes to...

[ Drum roll ]

"Uncle grandpa!"

Yeah!
Up here!

Don't leave me hanging!
[ Grunts ]

Excuse me. Coming through
to get my grampie.

Pfft, whatever.

Wow, I want to thank
the animation industry.

Mom and dad, I couldn't have
done it without you s

The rest of the nominees
for not winning.

You know who you are.

The next award embodies all

That we in the industry
strive to achieve.

Yes, that's right,
I'm talking about the award

For best feel good fantasy
adventure series

With a furry, yellow companion.

And the winner is...
[ Drum roll ]

Well, what do you know?
"Uncle grandpa!"

Whoa,
I can't believe it!

This is bunk!

Let's save this moment
for posterity!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Wow, another award.

This is
unexpectedly amazing.

You said it, uncle me.

I want to thank
the animation guild,

And everyone who voted for me
to get this a second time.

I didn't even think I was
nominated for this category.

Up next, the award

For best "steven universe"
episode goes to...

[ Drum roll ]

I can't believe it
"uncle grandpa!"

Aw, I wanted that award.

This never gets old.

I guess three
is the magic number.

And to sum up, I'd like
to thank the television academy

For this clean sweep
of the awards tonight.

[ Snoring ]
I can't believe my luck!

And the last award
of the evening,

The award for best cartoon
in the history of the world,

Goes to...
[ Drum roll ]

Yes, "uncle grandpa!"

Oh, yeah!

Another!

Hey, little buddy,
want to join your friends?

I don't even want this
to be honest with you.

These things
are getting heavy.

Who's in charge here?
[ Ding! ]

Oh, wait, this just in.
[ Drum roll ]

None of you other guys are
getting a pick up next season.

All: yeah!

In closing, I want to thank

All the loyal fans out there
around the world,

The voters, the non voters,
the wonderful audience members.

This is truly
the happiest day of my life.

And I couldn't have done it
without that big guy
in the back!

♪

That was quite delicious.

♪