02x04 - Anxiety on High Alert

[bunniefuu]

My baseball season
just started.

Who?

Sorry, Shoa-hoa-tani.

[laughing] Shoa-h*.

Your mom's a hoe.

Marlene's a dirty, fat,
filthy, horny wh*re.

She definitely will.

I feel like I'm being pulled...

almost.
-Between what?

Like, family members
and friends and especially

your dad to, like,
choose a career path

that's secured financially.

I didn't know that he was
this overwhelmed.

It breaks my heart
that he's been keeping this in.

We need to find ways to be
able to save money.

We can start cutting
by you not shopping as much.

-Mm.
-We can start cooking
more meals here.

The more we talk about it,

the more I realize
this isn't gonna be easy.

You little b*tch.

Yep.

[Baylen]
What are we doing?

I've been working
on a surprise.

I want to share
with the family,

but especially Baylen.

Let's have the wedding here
in the backyard.

I don't think
my parents' backyard is

Colin's first
wedding venue choice.

And honestly...

[upbeat music plays]

♪♪ I wanna party ♪♪

♪♪ Tonight ♪♪

♪♪ I wanna party ♪♪

[dogs barking]

-Oh, hey guys.
-Hey, babe.

-[Colin] It smells good in here.
-How was work?

Work was good, long,
but I'm here.

-What are you making?
-Wind it up!

Cooking up a home-cooked meal.

After Colin opened up
in couples therapy

about how stressed he's been
with money,

I thought
that it would be

a good idea to start...

not eating out as much,
so I'm cooking more.

The stove is still
a danger to me,

because I can still easily
burn myself.

So I'm trying out safer options
like a slow cooker.

I'm doing some pulled-chicken
motions right now.

I did have to spend
a little bit of money...

on some pretty cool
kitchen gadgets

that help me with
shredding and cutting,

so I don't have to use
sharp objects.

It's a tic-proof tool.

And then I made mac and cheese,

which probably needs
to be stirred.
-Whoa.

It's not warm,
because I had to turn it off.

It's OK.
It looks good.

[Baylen]
I'm a little nervous.

My parents are coming
to join us.

The last time I saw my dad,
he pitched the backyard

as a wedding venue.

It's hard for me to have
serious conversations,

because I don't
like confrontation.

So I haven't even told
Colin yet.

That's exactly why I invited
my parents to dinner.

That's 100% my dad's job.

-[knocking on door]
-[dogs barking]

-Hi!
-[Allen pretend-barking
at dogs]

-Come on.
-Hi.

Wow, it smells really good.

Thanks.
I've been cooking all day.

[Colin]
Yeah.

I shredded a whole block
of cheese

with a cheese hand-grater

that you get
from the nail salon.

Yeah.

[tapping]

f*cking b*tch!

Then it started setting off
my dystonic tics.

So then I got really worried
that I wouldn't, like...
-Stop.

...be able to finish.

So I put country music
on my headphones,

so it helped soothe my tics.

-So I was able to do all of it.
-[Julie] Yeah.

And I made a salad.
I made a salad.

We know how much effort
it takes for Baylen just to cook

a dish, let alone
an entire meal.

So we were happily surprised
by the random dinner invite.

You're k*lling me.
You got to tell me what...

this whole thing is about.

[Julie]
Yeah, this was quite a little,
a last-minute surprise.

-[Allen] Yeah.
-Special meal...

at the Dupree-Dooley house.

[Baylen]
Well, I knew we had
some things to talk about.

Oh, the chicken's good.

[Allen]
Yeah -- so what's the latest
with wedding planning?

Have you guys looked at...

venues?

Baylen,
have you thought about...?

-[Julie] Have you told Colin?
-[Baylen] No.

What better time to do that
than now?

-You're -- oh.
-Are you kidding me?

Told me what?

Colin...wait.

-Hold on, Colin.
-Here, Colin.

-Here, you might
want to sit down.
-You need a chair.

[Baylen] OK.
So...

when I went to go,
you know,

barbecue with the family...
-[Colin] Mm-hmm.

...we had a very nice discussion
of a layout in the backyard

for our wedding.

-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.

Like having our wedding
in my parents' backyard.

[Julie speaking]

[Baylen] How do you feel
about that?

[Julie speaking]

-Having our wedding...
-[Baylen] Our wedding
in the backyard.

You picture it, you open up
the door and you see me walking

down the stairs.

[exhales]

I really don't have words.

I'm really just trying to wrap
my head around it all.

Like, I wouldn't really picture
our wedding being there.

I mean, there's a lot of bugs.

There's also a lot of dog poop
in the yard.

I just offered it out there
because I know...

...she could have
her emotional break

in the house.

That's all I wanted to offer,
and that's all it is.

I mean, listen, Baylen,
I am warming up to the idea

of certain aspects of it
only because I know

that your struggles are real.

-Mm-hmm.
-And I know finances
mean a lot to you, OK?

Scumbag.

[Colin] This is kind of, like,
a tricky situation.

I really am concerned about
the expenses kind of getting

out of hand for the wedding,
so I don't want to ignore a way

for us to save money.

But, on the other hand,
Baylen has really been working

really hard to be
more independent.

Having this wedding
in her parents' backyard

would be kind of like
pushing her back into the fold.

Yeah, I mean, I think it really
just comes down

to what we can find, right?
-[Julie] Mm-hmm.

Like, if we can't really find
anything within our budget --

That's all.
You got options, man.

-[Colin] Yeah.
-Definitely...

-[Colin] Doesn't hurt
to have options.
-Yes.

Yeah, it's good
to have options.

You could have told me
yourself, you know?

I mean, I know, but I just
still don't know how I feel

about it, so...

[Julie]
All right, we're out of here.

Everything was so good!

Plus, I really don't want
to hurt my dad's feelings.

He put -- d*ck--

a lot of thought
into this -- d*ck.

-All right, I love you.
-Thanks, Bay.

Thanks, Colin.

So the big question is,

are we able to make everyone

happy, including ourselves?
-Yeah.

So, right now, we'll keep
the backyard option...

[short whimper]

...on the table.

♪♪ Summer heat, feeling free
it's that good life ♪♪

[Baylen] Just tap it in.
Just tap --

[Colin] Oh, it's...
[laughing].

That's a great restart for me.

Oh, that's stroke three.

[Baylen] We needed a mini-break
from wedding planning.

And what's more mini
than mini golf?

It's all in the hips.
It's all in the hips.

We're doing mini golf

because we got
a pro-golfer over here.

I just started playing,
but I am competitive.

-[Baylen] I'm in the water.
-[Colin] You pulled it.

No re-dos.

-Sweet!
-That was a good shot.

-Two.
-Thanks.

-Seven to three.
-Six to three.

Sir.

[ball kerplunks in water]

[Colin laughs]

[Baylen]
Because of my tics,

I do have
to face a few obstacles

that require a lot
of stopping and going.

-Colin, I lost my ball.
-[Colin] I know.

-I'm not fishing for it either.
-Eat a bag of dicks.

Let's go get you a new ball.

-[phone rings]
-[Baylen sighs]

[Baylen] One minute.
Someone's calling me.

-Hey, Mom.
-[Julie, on phone] Hey, Bay-bay.

How are you?
What are you doing?

A little mini-golf date,
me and Colin.

[Julie] Oh, my gosh.
That sounds like so much fun.

It honestly -- it honestly is.
I'm beating him.

[Julie speaking]

[Baylen] OK.

And he brought it up?
He wants to?

[Julie speaking]

I'm surprised that Bechnir
requested to have a sleepover

with me because, like me,
he suffers from anxiety.

Since moving outside
of the house,

I don't really know how bad
Bechnir's anxiety has been,

but I do know it prevents him
from doing a lot of things.

[Julie speaking]

[Baylen] OK.
I'm definitely thrilled.

I would be thrilled
to host Bechnir.

I honestly would.
I'm a little, like, nervous.

I've never hosted a kid before.

[Julie speaking]

Colin, would you care
if Bechnir spent the night

for the weekend?
-This weekend?

Yeah.

I have golf plans
this weekend,

so I don't know
how much I would be around.

OK.

-It'll be fine, though.
-Yeah.

-Take a d*ck.
-[Julie speaks indistinctly]

Things just got way
more complicated.

I'm supposed to do this
by myself?

When I get overwhelmed,

my tics act up,
but I love Bechnir

and I want to be able to spend
some time with him.

[Julie speaking]

OK.
It'll be a fun little weekend.

[Julie speaking]

Yeah, I know.

Mom, he's eight handfuls.

[Julie speaking]

I have no idea what to expect.

This is gonna be interesting.

[doorbell rings]

-Hola, c_mo est*s?
-Muy bien.

Do you think
that there's any part of this

where you're still just trying
to hold on to Baylen?

I haven't shared this story
with that many people.

It's just, you know,
when I went to pick her up...

and when I talked to her...

♪♪ Maybe I was the same as
you when I was 15 ♪♪

♪♪ Except back then,
I still had big dreams ♪♪

♪♪ Always listened to the others
now my eardrums bleed ♪♪

♪♪ From the noise
inside my head ♪♪

[Baylen]
Joe is a young kid that I met

at a Tourette's event
a couple years ago.

He has Tourette syndrome.

We stayed in touch through
social media,

and that's when I kind of got
inspired by who he really is.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Can you see me?
-Yeah, I can see you.

OK, sweet.
How are you?

I'm good.
How are you?

I'm good.

Where did that tic come from?

Remember when
the election was going on?

I watched a solid three minutes
of the total debate, and --

...and it's come back.

But yeah, I got it
from watching the debate.

Anyways, how are you doing?
How is college?

LSU is really cool.

I'm actually taking
summer classes now.

Oh, yeah.
That's another thing about Joe.

He's 12 and in college.

Obviously, like, people
in my class is, like, six-foot,

like, plays football.

And I'm just sitting there
with my voice like this.

-It's hard to make friends.
-[Baylen] What are you
studying in?

Sports management.
I just really like basketball.

-[Baylen] Are you good at it?
-Yeah.

You sound --
you're like my brother Bechnir,

he is so c*ck.

You're like,
"Yeah, I'm the sh*t."

Joe reminds me
a lot of my brother, Bechnir,

because they both like sports.

They're both around
the same age.

They're both outdoorsy.
They're both hands-on.

They're both, in a way...

mature...

well beyond their years.

So, how have you been feeling
physically lately?

-I'm doing good.
-Hmm -- whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!

I feel like chatting helps
my tics a lot

because it distracts me
from my tics.

I know specifically that
I suffer with very, very bad OCD

and anxiety
and I have ADHD traits.

Do you know what type
of co-occurring conditions,

like, you specifically have
with your Tourette?

OCD and anxiety, definitely.

Tourette syndrome manifests
itself differently

in everybody.

Joe has verbal and motor tics

because he has
Tourette syndrome,

and you have to have both
to have Tourette syndrome.

Today, I can't assume
that he's not ticcing,

because he probably is ticcing,
but underneath the table,

and we just can't tell.

Joe, what's the hardest thing
about making friends your age?

-Kids always make fun of me.
-Mm-hmm.

On my way to summer camp,

I got jumped on the bus
because I was ticcing.

I was, like,
yelling and cursing,

and I was blinking my eyes...
-[long bleep]

...and I broke my nose
and had a concussion.

So it was rough, but I managed
to pull through it.

Joe f*cking Biden.

f*cking A, man.

I'm very sorry
that that happened.

I mean...

it's terrible.

Yeah.

When I hear that Joe got
jumped on the school bus --

Joe f*cking Biden --

it's disheartening.

I was also bullied
in high school.

I've been recorded
throughout stores.

I mean, I get recorded
everywhere I go,

and people think
that it's OK,

but that's also bullying.

[sighs] -- unfortunately,
I know what it feels like,

but I also want
you to know that, like,

you're so loved.

Yeah, and you are loved too,
by the way.

-So, you too.
-Thanks.

Thanks, Joe.

I love to help others
with Tourette's when I can,

because...I...

I know what it's like to hate
yourself because of a condition

that you have no control over.

And I don't want anyone
to feel that, ever.

Gosh, it was so lovely to talk
to you, Joe f*cking Biden.

-[short whimper] -- Joe.
-Yeah, you too.

Bye.

Joe f*cking Biden.

Hearing Joe talk
really makes me think

about Bechnir
and the way that...

kids are when you're younger.

The more I think about it,

I want to get
those two boys together

when Bechnir's here.

I have a feeling
it'll be good for them, me,

everybody.

♪♪ I set fire to everything
I own ♪♪

♪♪ For a little bit
piece of mind ♪♪

[dogs barking]

My mom and Bechnir should be
here any minute,

so you have to make sure
that everything's perfect.

OK -- how are you
feeling about it?

I'm fine -- I'm a little nervous

on how to host a kid,
but it's fine.

[dog toy squeaks]

[Baylen] I mean, I'm just
anxious to host somebody

and then be in charge
of that person.

-It's like a whole...
-But it's not --

it's not like
he's a two-year-old.

It's not like we have to sit
there and wipe his butt

on the toilet.
-[Baylen] Listen.

[grunts] -- listen,
let me tell you, if we did...

-[knocking]
-Hola, c_mo est*s?
Muy bien, y t`?

-Muy bien!
-[Julie] Hi everyone!

[Bechnir]
What's up, guys?

-How you doing?
-Good.

-How you doing, man?
-Good.

sh*t's about to get real.

Fill me in on,
like, the lowdown

of everything,
'cause I really can't stay long.

I have things to make
ice cream sundaes,

games we can play.
I have things to bedazzle.

Bechnir will love to bedazzle.

Have you ever
bedazzled anything?

I don't even know
what bedazzle -- bedazzles is.

[all laughing]

I know Baylen does have some
nervous jitters about hosting

Bechnir this weekend
for the first time ever.

-OK, bye guys.
-Bye, love you.

Get home safe.

But I also know that
she's come so far, just

with her independence
and knowing

who she is
and what her boundaries are

in her life
in regards

to what she can and can't do.

So this is,

I mean, this is groundbreaking,
honestly.

It makes my mama-heart
really proud of her.

[Baylen] OK, I'm gonna show you
how to bedazzle.

-[dogs whine]
-I'm gonna take this,
and it goes in the wax.

[Colin]
Well, before y'all get started,

bedazzle some stuff.
-Bedazzle.

I'm gonna go ahead and head
out and go golfing, all right?

-OK.
-Love you.

I love you.

[Colin]
I had already made plans
to go golfing

before Baylen scheduled
this sleepover with Bechnir,

but things are off
to a really smooth start,

so I feel a lot
more comfortable leaving.

I have the brown ones that
go over here for B.

Plus, now,
Baylen and Bechnir

can have a little
one-on-one time.

-So?
-Wait, I could color 'em.

-No -- no.
-Oh.

[Baylen]
No.

Is something burning?

-Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
-What's over there burning?

[tense music plays]

Yeah, what's burning?

[Baylen]
What?

Why is this burning?

[groans]

Yeah, what's burning?

[Baylen]
What?

[Bechnir]
Something's burning.

[Baylen]
When I start seeing smoke
come out of the stove topper,

I'm very much confused.

[groaning]

I'm -- I can't go over there.

I mean,
one of the knobs was on.

Somebody must have
bumped it or something.

My instinct is probably run
to the shower and turn it on.

What is the shower gonna do
for us in the kitchen?

Because if you're burning,
just sit in the shower.

-It's running water.
-We're not burning.

The stove top is.

OK.

It's not smoking anymore.
Nothing is going on.

Let's move away from there.

Just be careful
when walking by.

This is the exact kind of thing
that can push me over the edge.

So I'm very proud...

that I was able to stay calm.

But now my anxiety is
definitely on high alert.

I don't know.
This has never happened.

I can't believe this is
our first real

do-something
date in a century!
-30 years?

I don't know.

Uh...
I think...

I think, that's --
-This is what leads
to more kids, but...

[Julie]
What did you just say?

[Allen] Bechnir's out
of the house for the weekend,

so Julie and I thought
we'd go out too.

We haven't had a date night
in 25 years because it's been...

kids and diapers
and lack of babysitters.

It's pretty important,
I think, in this moment

in time for us to still spend
time with each other

and kind of rekindle
why we are together.

-Hi.
-Hello.

We're here.
OK.

-[Allen] How you doing?
-Hi.

-Al, nice to meet you.
-Hi, Al, I'm April.

-So nice to meet you,
welcome, welcome.
-[Allen] Nice to meet you.

I was like, we could do
pottery or bowling,

quick dance lesson.
-Bowling?

And Al was all about --
he's like, yeah,

let's do pottery.
Then I booked the dance lesson.

[Allen scoffs]

-Gentle --
you have to be gentle.
-Practice.

Go five, six, seven, eight.

And one, two, three,
four, five, six...

-What are you doing?
-Watch -- watch.

-One, two --
you're not leading --
-OK.

-You're not touching
your feet --
-[Julie] We're gonna take

a time out in a second.

[teacher]
How do we feel?

I -- can I switch partners?

-[laughing]
-Yeah, I'm all --

like, this is --
like, here.

Let's get the underhooks
on this.

OK.

[salsa music plays]

[Allen]
Julie and I usually have fun
no matter what we do.

We met at my cousin's wedding
when she was a waitress there.

I was 28, 29 years old,
and Julie was 18, 19.

We were the perfect gift
for each other

at that moment in time.

An accident happened
after we got engaged.

[Allen]
It wasn't an accident.
It was --

And I got pregnant
with baby Burkey.

-There was no --
-And we had already
started the planning --

There was no preventative
actions anywhere at all.

-We had started the planning
stages of the wedding.
-She -- you can plan --

yes.

[Julie]
We wanted to make sure
his birth was legitimate,

so we got married
at the courthouse

before he was born.

And then we had another wedding
seven months later,

so I could actually
wear the dress.

And, of course, we had baby
Burke with us.

Three or four children is kind
of what we both agreed upon.

[Allen]
Yes.

Somehow we garnered up
some extra stamina.

What are we doing?

You're just trying to grind
my leg.

I'm not trying
to grind anything.

If I was,
it wouldn't be your leg.

-[laughing]
-Right?

[Julie]
The one thing I believe

that helps make
our relationship work

is the fact
that we admire each other.

And that truly enhances
our commitment to each other.

[teacher] All right.
Thank you, guys.

Yay!
You're very, very welcome.

-Let's go check my phone.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's nice that we've taken
this time for each other,

but the kids are always
on our minds.

Truly, that's the first thing
I think about when we're done

on the dance floor, is checking
to make sure that Bechnir is OK

and things are going smooth.

He hasn't called yet,
and she hasn't called.

No news is good news,
so I'm all about it.

-So...
-Do you think Bechnir's
grilling her over the wedding

or where are they going
to have it, are they gonna --

Oh gosh, no, Bechnir doesn't --

He's so excited about wanting
to have it at the house.

I literally think he doesn't
even care about the wedding.

He just wants people
to play wiffle ball.

He's the first person
you've definitely convinced.

You have one person
on your team.

Al is still really championing
this idea of the wedding

in the backyard.

It's such a comfortable,
safe space,

so there's
like this logical side to it.

And then I also think
that Al is stuck.

Just hanging on
to all the pieces...

of her life.

Do you think
that there's any part of this

where you're still just trying
to hold on to Baylen?

I don't mean in a negative way.

She's your girl.

Mm...

It's really about...

did I do everything
that I could to make sure,

like, her day was amazing?

It's just, you know,
when I went to pick her up

and...when I talked with her --

[Allen]
I haven't shared this story
with that many people.

Four years ago,
Baylen was in college.

We had kind of talked
her into going.

Calls.
She's manic.

I get to -- there --
it's a three-plus hour drive.

And then when I went in there,
she was just curled up

on the bed with her dog.

And she was like,
"I'm such a burden.

"I'm such a burden.
I can't -- "

I'm like, "You're not a burden.
Stop talking like that."

I give her a big hug,
and I'm like,

"You're gonna be fine."
And she's like,

"I'm not gonna be fine.
I'm not doing good."

And I was like, "Well...

you can't talk like this
'cause it's worrisome."

And...

I just asked her
for my own well-being,

like, "Hey, like,

"you're not thinking
about, like...

"doing something bad,
like, you're not thinking about

k*lling yourself, are you?"

And she's, like, this far away
hugging me, and she just turned

and looked at me,
and she, like, this close --

she's like...

"That's all I've thought
about for four days

is how can I just
jump off this roof."

[voice breaking]
And I was like...

Never thought that reaction --
I just never knew what to say.

I just didn't know, like,
all I kept doing was just

hugging her,
like, telling her, like...

"You you don't even know
what, like,

"tomorrow is gonna be --
you don't --

"you haven't...
f*ck,

"you haven't even lived
your best day yet,

"you don't -- you don't haven't
held your own baby.

"You haven't, like,
gotten married.

"You don't know
what it's like to...

"to experience, like, true love,

like, somebody who'll do
anything for you."

Thinking back at that day,
I was really

just trying to give her hope,

and now what I had said
actually...

is coming to fruition,
like, it's here.

I just don't want her to be
in a place where...

It's an emotional wreck
for her.

And all she ever remembers
about her wedding is...

-Not enjoying her day.
-[Allen] Yep.

-This is it.
-Right --
so it matters big-time.

-[Allen] It matters to me,
big-time.
-Big-time.

That's all.

Al is holding on to some
of his pain from the past

in regards to Baylen.

I can't relate as deeply
because I didn't live

in that moment,
that deep, dark moment

that he experienced with her,

but I can understand,

'cause I want
to protect her too.

So, I think that that's why
this idea of a backyard wedding

is so important to him.

[Julie speaking]

And we're gonna make sure
that she has the best,

most comfortable day,
accommodating to her.

And of course,

Colin is part of this too,
but Colin does a great job

with taking the back seat.

He's happy to be sacrificial
and take the back seat

because he knows
that her needs

come before his
in a lot of ways.

That is, uh -- that makes him
a great human.

Just don't feel heartbroken

if this is not the avenue
they pick.

And I'm sure she'll still let
her dad have some input.

-Well, I --
-She will.

One of the traits that I admire
most about Allen is just

how deeply and unconditionally
he cares about our children.

I've always said that
it's going to be and it is

harder for Al to let go.

Have you decided where you're
having your wedding at?

We're still looking.

Well, there's always
an open option.

The backyard.

-In the backyard?
-Yeah.

I know exactly who put Bechnir
up to this.

Thank you, Allen.

My dad is bald.

[energetic music playing]

Ooh, I'm drooping them
over the sides.

Dirty martini style?
Mm-hmm.

-I don't even know what
that is, but yeah.
-It's fine.

So after the fire's been kaput,

I'm pretty confident now
that me and Bechnir

can get back
to what we're doing.

We're gonna have a good night
and not tell Mom

'till the morning.

My stomach's already hurting.

I feel like at the end of this,
I'm gonna have diabetes.

-I mean, God.
-Please stop.

When my dad found out
that I was having a sleepover

at Bay and Colin's apartment,
he gave me a little task.

Have you decided where you're
having your wedding at?

No.

We're still looking.

We got no idea.

Well, there's always
an open option.

The backyard.

Just think about it.

What the flip-flop!

Boy!
First my dad, now Bechnir?

I really do kind of like
the idea

of the backyard wedding.
You save a lot of money.

You don't have to keep looking
for stuff.

-Get it done way sooner.
-What are you talking about?

-Where the venue is.
-In the backyard?

Yeah.

I know exactly who put Bechnir
up to this.

Thank you, Allen.

My dad is bald.

It would honestly make Dad
so happy.

It's just, it'd be nice to just
roll out of bed


I would like to have
a bouncy house at the wedding.

I don't mean to be rude
but are you four years old?

[Baylen] Dad is really pushing
hard for this.

But I'm not anywhere close
to saying yes

to a backyard wedding.

We've only seen one wedding
venue so far,

so we have no idea what else is
out there for us to choose from.

I mean, I only plan on getting
married one time,

so let's make
this one time special.

Right, let's get buff!

[Baylen] I mean,
we did just eat ice cream.

♪♪ I walk right at my own speed
I don't run for nobody, yeah ♪♪

[grunts]
Oh, yeah.

♪♪...my own way,
no matter what they say ♪♪

♪♪ I like it that way ♪♪

When did you get this
gym equipment?

I got it because it's hard
for me to go to the gym

'cause of my nerves,

it's hard for me
to go to the gym

'cause of my social anxiety,

it's hard for me to go there...

in general.

Being in the gym
with another person that's...

[snorting]
[sighs]

So I work out here.

Me and Bechnir have always had
a cute little special bond.

I would say, out of all
the siblings, me and Bechnir

are the most alike.

He has a lot of anxiety,

just like I had a lot
growing up.

But with me, he doesn't feel
like he has to hide it.

He knows he can say something,
and I'll get it.

I also have a problem
with being in the same room

with people that are sweating,

and their sweat's
just everywhere.

[Bechnir]
Yeah.

I don't really know
how to say it,

but I do have anxiety, yeah.

Like, are you anxious
about sleeping over here?

I have to be near a wall
when I sleep.

I just don't know, like,
how bad or how intense

your anxiety is,
so that's just why I asked.

Every time I leave my room,
I have to leave it better

or the same
when I walk into it.

And what if you don't?

I'll think about it all
the time,

and the first thing I'll do
I get back, is I'll fix it.

And if I do have anxiety,
I just tap.

Like, I'll sit down
and I'll be like...

[tapping]

I mean, like,
everything at school,

like, with my binder, my books,
my MacBooks and all that,

it has to be perfectly even,
even with everything.

Like, you probably didn't see,
I was going like this to try

to make it even
and completely straight.

If I don't do that, I'll
probably think about it a lot.
-Mm-hmm.

I don't know why, but...

[Baylen] Listening to Bechnir
is raising some concerns for me.

My sister Sammi and I both

went through
something similar to this,

[short whimper]

and we both ended up
with a diagnosis of OCD.

So I'm wondering if Bechnir

could benefit
from some kind of medical help,

but first, he would need
a diagnosis,

and I'm not really sure
how my parents feel about that.

[bawking]

Yeah, do you care, Mom,
if we talk for a second?

[Julie] Oh, my gosh.
What are we doing?

-What's up?
-I just want to talk
to you about Bechnir.

He was expressing to me...

[chickens bawking]

What?

[Baylen] They're all running.
I can't look at them.

-[Julie] OK.
-[Baylen bawking]

[Baylen] OK!
That's a first.

Haven't done that
since seventh grade.

Since Bechnir is here with me
for the weekend, I reached out

to my friend Joe's mom

to see if I would be able to get
them together.

Splash!

[Baylen]
They live in New York,
but they are so excited.

She told me that it'll be
absolutely nothing for them

to get down here.

Yeah.

Holy b*ll*ts!

[Baylen]
And honestly, I thought
it'd be really cool for Joe

because it's been really hard
for him to make friends

because of his Tourette.

Why is there chickens
in my neighborhood?

-[Bechnir] You're in the hood?
-[Baylen bawking]

[Bechnir laughs], Bay.

I can't look at the chickens.

Sometimes seeing chickens
sets off my tics.

Kind of a lot of animals
set my tics off, especially...

farm animals.

I mean, not a farm animal,
but dolphins.

[clicking like a dolphin]

Sorry.

-That was spot-on.
-[clicking like a dolphin]

-Dude, that was perfect.
-[clicking like a dolphin]

I'm gonna look this way.

Bechnir.
They're here.

-Hi.
-How are you?

-Hi, Annie.
-It's good to see you.

-Hi.
-I'm Annie.

-Nice to see you.
-Nice to --

Oh, my God!

I'm so excited to see you guys
hang out!

How was the travel here?

It was a little weird
when we got here,

with the chickens and stuff.
-[Bechnir] I know.

-[Baylen] Oh.
-We're from New York, you know?

Yeah, and, like,
where's the graffiti?

-Like...
-[bawking]

-So, how old are you?
-[Bechnir] Eleven.

Oh, OK, so he just turned 12,
so they're, like,

the same age.
-Wanna play now?

[Joe] Sure.
All right.

You guys are gonna play.

Me and Annie
are gonna go over there.

-[Joe] Play one-on-one?
-[Bechnir] All right.

-First to five?
-Sure, sh**t for ball.

sh**t for it.

[bawking]

[rock music plays]

I'm so glad
they were able to connect.

It made me so sad to think
that he doesn't have friends.

-I know.
-And it's hard.

Thank you so much.
This, like, means the world
to him.

[Baylen]
Of course.

If you don't mind me asking,
like, what type of tics

do you have?
Like, physical?
-Uh...

mostly, uh, blinking.
Sometimes cursing.

I usually just have,
like, anxiety.

One thing that I always do...

is tapping.

Talked to Bay about it
yesterday,

and she asked me,

like, what I do to, like,
help it, but it's like...

I don't know how.
You know what I mean?

-Yeah.
-[Bechnir]
Like, it's kind of weird.

My first impressions on Joe,
he's really nice, cool,

fun to hang around, chill.

I don't know how
severe Joe's tics are,

but I didn't really notice him
ticcing today.

Is Joe the only kid?

Yes, he's, like,
my one and only.

So, when he was younger,
looking back at videos

at his preschool, he's singing

and he's slapping himself
in the face.

And I was like,
"Oh, he's so cute, he's anxious,

just like his mom.
Like, he's quirky."

And then, like, he had
this one phenomenal teacher

who was like, "Do you notice
his, like, blinking?"
-Yep.

And because of her,
he got tested.

We found out that he had
the Tourette's diagnosis.

And I was like...

"Oh," like,
"How did I not see that?"

My mom has six kids

and she hasn't noticed
half the things.

As a parent, you really don't.
So be gentle with her.

And also, like, my parents,
their generation,

you don't get diagnosis.
-Right.

But it helps at least
answer questions

about the way
that you're feeling.

The mantra is like,
"Don't put it in their head,"

but it's like,
it's already there.
-Uh-huh.

The more that I talk
to Joe's mom,

the more I feel like I need
to advocate for Bechnir.

For me, finally hearing
"Tourette syndrome"

made sense
why things felt so hard.

Like, you can't get help
medically without

a literal diagnosis.

So I do want to say something
to my mom.

I just don't really know how

she will react
to the whole thing.

Just talk to your mom,
you know?

I just want to do what's right
for Bechnir.

I want him to get the help
that he needs.

[Julie]
Hey!

-Oh, there's my mom!
-Hi!

-Hi! How are you?
-Hi! I'm good.

-How are you?
-Good seeing you.

Oh, this was nice
to organize this.

-[Baylen] Oh my God.
-Ah!

-So how was sleepover weekend?
-We had a blast.

-We had ice cream for dinner.
-Oh.

-Yep.
-Just ice cream?
You guys didn't order in?

-You didn't...?
-No.

-We had ice cream.
-[Julie] Oh.

It looks like
they might be done.

Hi, guys.
So have you two

had fun hanging out?
-Yeah.

I am definitely glad that Baylen
introduced me to Bechnir

because he's cool, funny,
and he gets me.

He's like a younger Baylen.
Like a cooler Baylen.

-A lot of hair.
-I was gonna say that.

-Thank you.
-Bye, you guys.

-It was so nice to see you.
-Yeah, bye.

Thank you so much for coming.

-But we'll talk.
-[Baylen] Yes, please.

-Bye.
-[Joe] Bye.

[Bechnir] Can I get front?
Bay, can I get front?

Yeah -- do you care, Mom,
if we talk for a second?

-What?
-Do you care if I talk
to you for a second?

Yeah, no, that's fine.

[short whimper]

[Julie] Oh, my gosh.
What are we doing?

What's up?

[Baylen] I just want to talk
to you about Bechnir.

[Julie]
What -- what happened?

He was expressing to me...

What?

[Baylen] They're all running.
I can't look at them.

[Julie]
OK.

[Baylen] Yeah,
can we switch sides, actually?

-[Julie] OK.
-I cannot look at them.

OK.

All the chickens.

I really want to be able
to share this with my mom,

but I'm very nervous

with how she will react
or what she will say.

I hope she doesn't
get offended or defensive.

-Bechnir expressed
to me his anxiety.
-Yeah.

It's a really big issue.

Marlene's a dirty, fat,
filthy, horny f*cking wh*re.

I hope I don't say that tic
in front of your mom.

[Colin] She knows that
you can't control it.

So look her right in the eyes
and you say exactly that.

No.

[Baylen] This is so pretty!
This is so pretty!

It's like a little mushroom.

I'm so excited
to get back

into touring wedding venues.

Everything about this place
seems perfect,

but is this a place that fits
within our budget?

Something else that came up is
her concern about Bech's

obsessions and compulsions.

Al, she's so preoccupied that
these things run in families.

It's super important.

[Julie, on phone]
You guys are getting married.

You're gonna eventually
want children.

[Allen, on phone] A medical plan
is probably the number one thing

when it comes to jobs.

At some point you're gonna
have to trust me to be able

to take care of your daughter.