03x04 - From a Six to a Nine and Back Again

[bunniefuu]

Next sunday, sunday, sunday, be there.

Big soap box derby viewing.

Extravaganza, soap box derby.

On sunday.

[ Puck ] I invited everybody to the chameleon

To see the soap box derby video.

"Puck's performance had me crying,

Right along with him.

The soap box derby thing, you know.

I tell my friends, and what I'm about here

In town, at this point in my life.

You know, this is like, what I'm about.

This is the true story...

True story...

Of seven strangers...

Picked to live in a house...

And have their lives taped.

Oh, lucy, I'm home.

To find out what happens...

When people stop being polite.

And start getting real.

Mtv's the real world, san francisco.

♪ The thing, the thing, the marvelous thing ♪

♪ Everyone knows it's me

[ Car horn beeping ] what ?

Do you see I'm trailin' a trailer, bro ?

I'm geared around fast.

A little bit dangerous.

[ Screaming ]

Going all the way to th and mission,

And grabbing my soap box car,

I mean, it's a pain in the butt.

Ah !

Crosstown, for nothing.

You just kind of brought it by yourself ?

I towed it.

Oh, the soap box is at the house !

I am so stoked !

Check it out, bro. Sit in it.

It's got brakes.

It's got k*ller steering.

Really ? It's got really k*ller wheels.

The wheels are like bucks a piece.

I went to the library and I researched

How to build a soap box car.

'Cause that's-if you're smart, you know,

You just go look it up.

Now, tell me that ain't going on, huh ?

♪ Bam, ba-bam, bam, ba-bam ♪

It's something to be proud of.

Look at all the rub marks, bro.

Do you see all this ?

This is racing.

It's glam-rock, now, it's gonna go full blast.

I'll make the interior on the inside look like,

"Tuck-and-roll."

You're quite the renaissance man.

[ Judd ] as far as romance I've kind of hit a dry season.

I'm looking to date some of the folks in the house

Seem to think that that's all I talk about.

So what ?

I'm looking to meet somebody.

Mohammed had a friend stay in for the weekend,

And jeannie was a friend of his friend.

Jeannie saint amour.

Pout, pout.

[ Camera click ]

[ Laughing ] oh god !

Can you believe that name ? Jeannie saint amour.

I've been single since november.

I was good with it up until she started seeing somebody else.

For a while, it was very romantic.

Not as romantic as I'd like.

I went through the same thing, too.

Because I was the...

I always had to...

Initiate ?

Initiate, the romantic things.uh-huh.

But you're happier now ?

Oh, much, much.

Much happier.

Meeting cool people.

Good men.

There's a few, there's a few good men out in the world.

Well, we try.

[ Pam ] I think that, the girls in the house

Kind of look out for judd.

We always think, "oh this woman isn't good enough for him.

This girl's too flaky."

And I think it's partially because we do like him a lot.

You never tried sushi ?

Nope. Okay.

It's raw fish.

No, no, no, I mean like california rolls, something like that.

None of it.

I have a problem with-- it's cooked-

It's cooked crab, it's cooked crab with avocados, some rice.

It's nothing major, you'll like it.

Wrapped in seaweed, right ?

Yeah. It's good.

I got a problem with that.

Okay then, I'll make you a crew-something korean than.

[ Judd ] and then we're doing the walk out to the car,

Which is a nerve-wracking experience, as is.

Trying to figure out

Where exactly you stand.

What the move's gonna be.

Good night.

Good night.

You take care, drive carefully.

Okay, I will, thanks. I'll speak to you soon.

A hug good-bye.

Embarrassed.

She wanted to kiss me.

And I choked.

Yummy.

Cheers.cheers. Cheers, puck.

Today, this, this rapper artist was, okay--

I'm just gonna tell you. [ Puck ] you're not gonna--

[ Puck ] she's actually gonna go into it.

No I'm just gonna tell you what happened.

I'm gonna tell you what happened.

Okay, forget it.

[ Cory ] it's just frustrating,

I don't feel like I can communicate to puck with words,

Because, either you'll always be interrupted,

Or the way that he's not taking the time to listen to other people.

[ Judd ] you're saying t.v. Isn't realistic ?

I mean that's not too broad a statement.

No, I'm saying "" is a piece of [ beep ].

[ Cory ] it's fun-- it's fun, it's entertainment,

Enjoy it !

It's what you take away from it.

It's a big, giant nut-filled turd.

Dude, if you sit right in front of the tv [ rachel ] puck--

And care, honestly about this dude "brandon",

You're sick !

[ Judd ] puck never hears what anybody else is saying,

And puck will just-- will run with that ball.

Let's say, like, you think we think

That they--that we are taking them seriously.

They probably think your soap box life is really boring to them, so.

Who, who, who, who, who ?

These imaginary characters on the [ beep ] t.v.,

They don't exist !

[ Laughing ]

[ Judd ] we knw that.

"Tori spelling" is an idiot.

She reads cards, and they record it.

And then they edit what they want,

And it looks good to you guys.

[ Laughing ]

That's the reality of it.

[ Pedro ] it is your reality ?

[ Rachel ] exactly.

To me, that whole world, the soap box and that stuff

It's so weird, and so out there.

Yeah.

That it's not my reality at all, right ?

But wait-- but, but, but let me talk.

You're talking.

It's like I have to scream over you.

Well, you're talking, go.

I mean, go.

Forget it.

Okay, that was convenient.

[ Pedro ] my problem with puck is that he's--

He doesn't care.

We get into a conversation,

Or we get into an argument about something,

And he'll basically say how he feels,

And then just get up and leave.

For me, 's a time to get together

With my friends that know about it,

And scream at the tv.

[ Cory ] and you bring your own individuality to the show.

It's not like that is coming out and dictating to you what life is like.

You might as well do crank and watch the show.

'Cause you're tweakin'.

[ Judd ] it's not a korean arts show.

The option is I either watch

Or I watch you-- or you being human,

Or I watch you-- or you being human,

And talk and interact with us, instead of the t.v.

For you, interaction is like,

Listen to me, listen to puck-- [ puck ] no, no, no.

And I'm tired of listening to you, and I wanna watch the t.v.

I'm sorry, I'm averting this whole conversation

Because you all love t.v., And you're addicted to it.

[ Pam ] for puck, "social" means "listening to puck".

I either don't talk loud enough for him to hear me,

Or he just doesn't know I'm trying to ask him a question.

Nobody's picking on you,

We're saying how we feel.

No man, you're picking on me.

I am not picking on you.

I'm a bike messenger, I'm a little dirty I'm a little loud,

My friends made a note today, to me.

They told me I was--

I was a changed person.

They said, "they don't like the new puck."

They said, "they want old puck back,"

Like when I worked everyday.

And I was doin' it.

[ Cory ] but who's fault is that ?

Hey.

It's not our fault.

I didn't say, "it was your fault."

I'm saying that, I'm gonna recede even further now

Just to make everyone happier.

You guys don't even want the real puck, you don't.

I'm giving you-- I'm giving you,

Like six, instead of nine or ten.

[ Puck ] today, I'm gonna go to court for drunk driving.

I already-went to jail on it, for uh--

I think days, days, something like that.

Then I got out of jail.

And I didn't go to sign up,

For um, drunk driving school,

Because I had to work to pay my bills.

You got a lid for me ?

Right on the other side.

Dude, nobody in my house can even operate one of these machines, man.

We got one, and I had to show 'em all how to do it.

Well my roommates, they don't understand, man

They think, they do, 'cause they read the newspaper, and watch tv.

But not in this little fluffy world, man.

I'm dealing with what is real.

Oh dude, I just ain't even on the list.

And they say, "wait until the end," and they say, uh,

"You are last because you're not on the list."

I don't have an attorney today,

I don't really need one.

I've been to this court.

Not even just this courthouse, I've been to this courtroom

About nine times, I think.

This one ?

I'm just gonna get reissued a transfer

From the drunk driving program here

To the drunk driving program in san francisco.

And kick butt.

I'm pretty much a separatist, I think at this point.

And I think it has a lot to do with my childhood,

And how I grew up.

My childhood, my dad was kind of like,

He was kind of like a rebel, man, he was his own dude.

And my mom saw something dynamic in him.

And she was young and he was young, and they had me when they were .

So I guess within like, three or four years, they divorced.

And he was just tweaked.

And so, even as a kid, I had to figure out what I stood for,

And what I was about, you know ?

It was like, do the "bailing on my bicycle thing"

Or hang out with my stupid dad,

And he'd be tweaking out on me, you know ?

So, i-i made my choice,

And I became my own crazy person.

Hey, fatty, want some ice cream,

A little bit ?

David, don't give her a bite out of your spoon.

Here.

[ Sniff, sniff ] mmmmm.

Tell me about court.

Oh court, well you know, I got reissued to go to drunk driving school.

I can go wherever I want, I'm gonna go to san francisco.

Well, maybe you're gonna get it done this time ?

Yeah.

And then the house that I live in.

I saw the one.

Rachel ?

Brown-haired... Girl.

The one that's the student, the medical student ?

Umm pam, that's right.

Yeah, she's kind of mean to me now.

Is she ?

Yeah.

She's like-- she's all an adult, you know ?

Uh-huh.

Not very kid-like at all.

Well, that's too bad.

It's too bad for her.

I haven't told her she's a dork yet,

But I'm sure it's coming.

By the way, the bottom part of the refrigerator...

Mine. Beer.

There's no other fridge in the house,

That bottom drawer that seems to be getting there right now,

Pshh-- out of there.

That's beer.

If you buy beer, you put it in there,

Hey, drink 'em.

If mine are in there--

Whoa.

[ Pam ] puck likes to make himself the outsider

And the victim.

A lot more than he is.

That I'm betting right now,

That if everybody doesn't let me have my little beer space,

That their gonna lose, 'cause I'm gonna buy,

Three cases of beer, I'm'a stuff them all in there

Why don't you keep some of them warm,

No, raah ! Until the other ones get cool ?

In there, on top of your salad,

Ain't nothing I can do.

Puck, you know, just have your things be safe,

You don't have to smash someone else's.

Easy.

That's lame, puck.

All I'm tellin' you-- I'm not being lame.

[ Cory ] it had nothing to do with the shelf.

It was just the metaphor

For how I think we've all been feeling about puck.

One time, I finally expressed my feelings

Got the courage to say something,

Got angry enough and frustrated enough to say something,

And then he turned around

And just, blew it up out of proportion.

It's called "compromise." [ Judd ] it is.

You can't just say, "oh, I'm having this,

I'm gonna smash this, I'm gonna smash that."

Okay, fine, I'm retracting whatever I said,

But I'm still putting all my beer in there.

I'm asking for some space for me, for beer.

I like beer. Okay, you can have whatever space is open--

[ Pedro ] you were not asking, you were saying.

[ Mohammed ] you were saying, yeah.

You didn't say, "can I have the bottom shelf ?

You said, "the bottom shelf is mine.

That's it, decided."

Next issue.

[ Mohammed ] puck, in one way or another, ah...

Offends a lot of the people who are at the house.

It's a form of attention-getting.

And I don't know if that comes from his childhood, or whatever.

Puck, I'm not gonna be able to come sunday, dude.

What ? I know, my dad--

You know, I went to your show, dude, do what you want.

My dad wants me at the club.

Go. I can't go.

Ah, I don't like it one bit.

I gotta work, dude.

[ Judd ] so how was homework treatin' ya' ?

Oh, gosh, I just have all this statistics homework.

And also I have this bio class,

That I told you about, the three hours. Yes.

[ Judd ] it is very difficult to be a heterosexual male, lately.

You go up and speak to a woman, they think one thing,

"He wants to sleep with me."

Which very well might be the case.

But there might be dinner and a movie before that.

A little wining and dining, and nice conversation,

I have no problem with any of this.

I joined the army.

Did you join the army ?

Yeah, I joined the army.

For how long ?

Um... Not very long.

I can uh, sh**t an m-,

And uh, throw a hand grenade

And, go through gas chamber and um...

Stuff like that.

I can make a really good french toast.

Okay.

[ Judd ] jeannie was not boring.

She had a lot to say.

We just had different things to say.

We're just...

Just not compatible, you just know.

Well my girlfriend's are coming in two weeks, I told you.

Okay. They're fair game.

But what's to do in the meantime ?

Cold showers and dirty magazines ?

[ Puck ] the show starts at six.

So be out in valencia at six.

You going too, pam ? The film thing, right ?

The soap box derby, it's just a video.

The video's just-

I mean, it's all fun and games, it's good.

It's like, a culture, you know, that most people don't get to like, observe.

Because if you can't observe and feel everybody's trip, man,

You're gonna lose out on a lot of stuff.

I know, that's true.

I'll hopefully see all you guys tonight.

[ Cheers ]

This year, we're gonna keep it as ill*gal

As we possibly can.

Anybody givin' up a seat for a girl ?

Up-- you can sit on my lap.

[ Rachel ] I like grungy guys, but,

A lot of these guys smelled as bad,

If not worse than puck.

Than my date !

They smelled worse than my date.

Chris, you ready ?

He's ready.

Enjoy !

[ Cheering ] wooo !

[ Puck ] I told every person in the house how important this was.

I was like, "hey, you know, this is like a big thing,

It's the soap box derby video."

It did piss me off,

And it showed me a lot about, how these people are.

[ Cameraman ] dude, loss of nipple.

I'm all right, I'm all right.

[ Cheering ]

They want to be into their trip, and I want to be into my trip.

And that's- it's just separate.

I'm really bummed, you guys didn't go to that, man.

It meant something to me.

That like, I wanted you guys there.

Yeah, I set it all up, man, I'm really bummed.

I felt like I gave you plenty of warning, notice, whatever

That it was coming up and it was a big deal to me.

I don't -- I don't think you made that clear.

I've been out with you five times this week.

And at no point did you say,

"You've gotta go to this, I want you to see what's up."

I absolutely told you that.

No, you didn't tell me in this manner.

You really didn't.

There won't be anything else that's like that to me.

It's all just frivolous.

I don't want to say "I've had enough."

But I will say it, "I've had enough."

I hung out with him for several nights in a row.

And I didn't feel like going to another bicycle thing.

You, for sure I told you.

Yeah, you told me, I'm sorry.

But I thought you were gonna be working at your dad's.

And I come home and you were in here.

And I was like, damn.

[ Mohammed ] I think it's that paradox that's in puck.

You know, the fact that he can be this hardcore,

Completely insensitive person,

You know, and then get really upset

That you don't attend something that he holds close to him.

I'm gonna make me happy from now on, all right ?

A little bit less watching out to tread on people's feet.

That's all.

And I hope somebody doesn't expect me to go to something,

'Cause, oh, yeah.

[ Cory ] I did know how important it was to puck,

And I felt like

The only way I could communicate to puck

Was by doing something non-verbal

They're not gonna accept me for me,

Well then, they don't really want to know me.

And I don't really want to know them.

Okay, you know, I think this is done now.

I think these are cooked.

[ Whispering ] do you want to come upstairs,

We're gonna have breakfast.

[ Beep ] pedro, man.

Screw him on his birthday, man,

He couldn't go to my soap box thing,

What do you think this is, a soap opera ?

This is about bein' fair.

[ Puck ] I didn't feel like I had to participate

In pedro's birthday,

Because he didn't really want me there, did he ?

In my little puck three-minute judgment mind,

There it is.

Pedro, just don't like me.

And so, there's nothing for me to do but not like him.

Can I have one kiss on my cheek ?

Good morning, puck.

Thank you.

[ Rachel ] puck doesn't like pedro,

And puck was already offended about the fact that

I was the only one in the house

That went to the soap box derby.

So, pedro, you're off the phone now, huh ?

[ Pam ] c'mon cory.

[ Rachel ] happy birthday, pedro.

[ Pedro ] my birthdays have never been about gifts,

They have always been about family

And spending time with the family.

But my roommates really, really made it nice.

I think they made a great attempt

To make me feel good, and make me feel at home.

: And I heard rachel,

And I thought, "what is rachel doing up so early ?"

[ Cory ] rachel, you didn't hear rachel.

I don't believe we're all here.

And we didn't have to like spend four days arguing about it.

[ Cory ] we had a great time

In spite of--in spite of puck not being there.

Pedro's a great person,

And it frustrates me that puck can't see that.

Say that you can be a strong person,

Or don't whine about it.

Huh ? Huh ?

Dude, you just told me you didn't want to hear it.

So you told me to leave, so I left.

I didn't say, "leave," I said,

"I don't want to hear you just sit there and look at me like that."

No you said, "you didn't want to hear why I didn't come."

You said "it's over."

Well then, spit it out.

Yeah okay, you'd better just stand there and quit whining, then.

'Cause you're gonna piss me off talking [ beep ] all around the corner.

Puck, if you wanna talk about it

You're gonna have to let her talk, too.

I mean, that's only fair.

[ Puck ] cory didn't participate in that out of spite.

That she picked up from pedro

And I broke it all down.

Now I want to be your friend,

But I don't want you to play up to weird [ beep ] like that, man

I--can't deal with it.

I can't deal with it.

Puck--

It's like--it's like the same thing as pedro.

Pedro rolls his eyes at me and I can sense his "distension" too.

And all it's gonna do is push me away from you,

Just like it's pushing me away from him.

I want to know you, cory, for you.

And I will respect you. But, do you, puck ?

But I don't want you to --- on me

On purpose, man, that's what you did.

Puck, I didn't ---- on you on purpose,

I didn't want to go.

Because it would have been worse

For me to be there pretending to be supporting you.

You could just talk to me you don't have to snap.

Talk to me, tell me how you feel.

Actually--i listen to a lot of what you say.

And I agree with a lot of things that you say.

But I just can't come... To a level yet

Where I can feel like I can communicate with you.

I think you talk a lot without listening.

And you're not giving.

You're not giving us a chance to talk to you, either.

Okay, that was just a hard shell of puck.

Now, the little soft shell guy, he's in there.

You're gonna have to find that for yourself, man.

'Cause I mean, you don't have to feel intimidated by me.

Okay, I'm pretty freaky,

But, I'm a nice guy.

And I believe that, I totally do.

Yeah ? Okay.

I'd hug you, but I got really bad b.o.

You'd die.

You'd pass out.

[ Cory ] I don't know how the conversation ended,

But we ended up giving each other a hug at the end,

And from that point on, it seemed like

That was just kind of like a, a new start for us.

My dog's here !

Oh yeah. Cool.

Yogurt !

No, don't wind him up, dude. Don't even--

Don't even yell his name like that, I'm tellin' you.

Oh, I hear him. Be mellow, dude, he's gonna start--

He's gonna start whinin'.

[ Judd ] puck is not such a terrible individual.

You got a dog ?

If we can try and reach some middle ground,

Then maybe things would be a bit easier.

Less tense, a little more communication.

[ Cory ] I'm a little sketchy on the pit-bull

And so he said, he'd bring him for a little trial.

And so I'm just gonna kind of hold back and keep my mouth shut.

Do you love me ?

[ Cory ] oh, my god !

C'mon give joker a kiss, pedro.

Please.

Ewww. He's a boy.

What do you mean, he's a boy ?

[ Pedro ] he comes across as this tough guy

Who you know is "the puck"

And he doesn't care about anything or anybody.

It's just sort of like a show.

It's just a front.

Puck is obviously--

He has feelings.

You're gonna hump cory, aren't you ? No, he's not.

He's just biding your time.

He is, he's gonna take you out on a date.

[ Cory ] joker completely fits puck, I mean a pit-bull.

That's wild, but that would never hurt a fly,

[ Cackling ]

[ Puck ] he's kind of like me of the dog world.

This is what he's gonna do to your children.

Oh no, he's got it, dude.

It's gone.

It's gone.

[ Cory ] oh no !

[ Cackling ]

On the next real world...

You're glowing.

Then you should see me after I have sex.

[ Pam ] judd is kind of guy that

If he weren't my friend,

I'd probably get involved with him.

[ Mohammed ] the thing that I love to do the most, is my music.

And the thing that I think that I can be the most successful at.

[ Judd ] I want as large an audience as possible.

Cover of "rolling stone". Gonna get there.

Haven't you ever heard a dog do that ?

[ Chortling ]

My dog rips, man.

He's human.

Here boy.

[ Laughing ]

[ Snorty noises ]

[ Giggling ]

[ Hacking ]

[ Dog snorting louder ]

[ Puck imitating the snort ]

What do you got, you got something in your--