04x20 - There Is No Place Like Home...is...There

[bunniefuu]

[male narrator] Previously on "The Real World.."

Excellent.

[Jacinda] When everything's going good, it's great.

[male #] 'That's good.'

[Mike] I was so far back at the end

that it kinda didn't even matter anymore.

[Jacinda] I though that must've been hard for Mike too, you know

standing there while everybody took pictures of his teammate

with trophy and stuff and--

How do you feel, Sharon? Are you okay?

I'm worried about how he's gonna feel.

[Kat] This is the true story..

[Neil] Of seven strangers..

Seven strangers.

[Jacinda] Picked to live in a house..

[Jay] And have their lives taped..

[Lars] To find out what happens..

[Mike] When people stop being polite..

[Sharon] And start getting real..

"The Real World," London.

[Jacinda] It was a Friday and my agency called me and said

"Jacinda, we have this incredible job

for you in Rome."

Reno assured me that it was fantastic

and it was gonna be beautiful

and it was likeRalph Lauren style in the country

on this little farm.

And, um, it was couple of days in Rome, great money.

A chance to get away, so I thought

wonderful, you know, sounds perfect.

And he says, um, "It's incredible.

"It's this beautiful thing you're doing and

"and this incredible designer, one of the best

"photographers in Italy and it's going to be wonderful, Jacinda.

Don't you trust me?" And I'm like, "Ugh!"

How was it?

Ah, long story!

It was just nasty.

I was just, I didn't wanna be there, I didn't like the job.

I didn't like the people I was working with.

Clear set. Ready.

There's one picture, okay?

'And I'm with a guy on the ground'

I had to stand like this, with a g*n, right?

And he was laying down on his back on the ground.

It was, like, this, like, western style stuff or whatever.

And she's, like, got a whip in her hand, like

and she's sitting on him and, like, whipping him.

I would not have ridden his back

and whipped that model if you paid me

uh, twice or three times as much as what you did.

I got so angry and he kept saying

"Oh, Jacinda, you're so beautiful

when you want to be, you can be just.."

And he kept saying all, you know, "Jacinda..

"...don't worry about it, don't be, um..

Don't think about it," he says, "Just, like, just be a model."

And I went..

[sighs]

'I don't, like, I'm treated like I'm stupid.'

I don't like being told by people to do, like

there was, like, four people saying, "Do this."

And then this person would say "Do this."

'And they're all saying it in Italian.'

[female #] 'Uh, Jacinda, he says that-that sometimes'

that you're really beautiful and you get distracted.

'Really beautiful.'

Just follow him, when he, when he says

"Bella, bella, bella," just stay there.

Okay, I understand.

All that matters in the end is that

you get incredible pictures.

That's what you were there to do.

You know, you don't always have a good time on shoots

and you are, most of the time

freezing or hot or uncomfortable.

And that's, like, that's no big deal, you accept that.

It's your job.

So, how do you feel about it?

Are you still pissed off, you didn't

zoom ahead to, like, tenth place?

[Mike] In my first race at Brands I did poorly

there was never a time where I said, you know

"I screwed up," it was always

"I gave it my best"

but, you know, obviously, it wasn't good enough.

[Neil] 'It was never really on the cards for you to'

kind of go from th place to first.

[Mike] 'Yeah.'

And you finished better than you started.

Well, yeah, but the guy crashed.

[Jacinda] 'It's still not good enough for him.'

We could say everything it wouldn't..

There's nothing you guys are gonna say.

But he was just miserable

he was really disappointed that he didn't do well.

Oh, I think, uh, when I go home this weekend

I'll either redeem myself or

throw myself deeper in the hole and you know..

Wednesday I left, uh, to go to St. Louis

to go back home to, uh, kinda see some of my family

but more importantly to go home to do a race.

[Mike's Dad] 'Uh, you know, I'm not gonna be here.'

Right. Now, you leave tomorrow morning?

'Yup, tomorrow morning.'

Are you excited?

'Yeah, we really are, it, it should be a ball.'

Well, have fun in the Bahamas.

'Good luck this weekend.'

- Thank you very much. - I love you very much.

- I love you too, bye-bye. - Goodbye.

[Mike] So, going home, I had, uh, great ambitions

of doing really well and, uh, redeeming myself

after my humiliating finish at, uh, Brands Hatch.

[instrumental music]

- Yeah, hello. - How are you, sweetheart?

- Good to see you. - Big reunion, big party.

How you doing, Danny?

What do you say, archangel?

You guys all came at once

I mean, like, ptchu-ptchu-ptchu.

[music continues]

Mike, you just need to put the, um, steering wheel on.

Well, I have to get in there before the steer..

'I can't fit in there when the steering wheel's on.'

Alright, steering wheel.

Steering wheel.

- Alright, helmet. - Helmet.

Thank you.

[engine revving]

[instrumental music]

[Mike] I felt great going into the race.

I had a good jump on the start and, um

just kinda led the whole thing and no one ever got by me.

The tire started to go away towards the end

but I had a -second lead throughout the whole race and

and I just kinda, I just kinda brought the car around

until the checkered flag dropped.

- Yay! - Alright!

[Mike] I'd hoped to go home and do really well

but I didn't expect to do as well

because there were some pretty good drivers there.

Nice going, Mike.

[Mike] It was great, you know, everyone had come out to see me

and, and the crew was real happy

and everyone was real excited.

[instrumental music]

It's too heavy.

Barrett, is it, for the airport?

- Carry your baggage? - No, it's..

Okay.

Good luck.

Bye. Say goodbye to them for me.

- Come fast. - Okay.

[barking]

[music continues]

♪ Well I've walked these streets ♪

♪ A virtual stage ♪

♪ It seemed to me ♪

♪ Make up on their faces ♪

♪ Actors took their places ♪

♪ Next to me ♪

[Jacinda] This time the sh**t was in Milan.

It was a jeans campaign shot all over the place.

[male #] 'Great, that's exactly what I'm looking for.'

Look now, look now.

It was jeans and stuff and they just wanted me

to wear this little top with it.

And then, to me, it looked like underwear

so I was like, well, you know, I'm not doing that.

I wasn't told and I wasn't asked if I wanted to do that.

'Cause if I was, I wouldn't wanna do that.

I spoke to my agency and everything.

♪ Have I been blind? ♪

♪ Have I been lost ♪

♪ Inside myself and my own mind? ♪

♪ Hypnotized mesmerized ♪♪

No problem, you don't have to take your shirt off or anything.

But can you come over here so I can take one picture?

They call me, like, "Ball-breaker," my agency

because I'm always asking

"What's this, what's that, are you sure?"

Because normally they'll just give you a booking

and you just do it and that's it.

And you have no idea what you're getting in for.

[phone ringing]

Hello? Yeah?

Nothing.

No, because there was nothing else they asked

anybody else to do.

That's so [bleep].

We only ended up doing one outfit.

It's a big difference to what they do with that

a huge difference.

So much bull [bleep] and so much..

...ridiculous going back and forth over nothing.

And that happened a lot on this sh**t

it happened on the other one. It always happens.

Okay, bye.

[instrumental music]

The old rain gloves, going to work.

[Mike] Sunday, it was the big day.

Um, see, it started pouring down rain.

There's about four feet of actual good track.

Once that pavement change right before this bridge

it's good everywhere across the track.

[Mike] It's definitely a lot scarier in the rain.

I mean, it's, uh, 'cause the control

and the grip is so minimal

yet you still have to go as fast as you can.

[instrumental music]

I had a fantastic start and halfway through the first lap

I had a good two-second lead over everyone else.

I could, I looked back in my mirrors and I saw nobody there.

And, um, just one of those crazy things

I came around a corner and put the power down

the thing just spun out and backed right into a wall.

And, uh, that was kinda the end of that.

I finally got the car back up on the track

and started going again but

but the wing had been dragging along the ground.

Electrical hookup.

Hang on.

Go!

[Mike] I didn't give up and I-I put my foot back in it.

Having no rear wing means no rear down force

and having no rear down force means

it means a car that slides twice as much as it did anyway.

And so every time I'd go into a corner

as I'd put the power down, the tail end

would just slide right away from me.

And I ended up spinning, like

three or four times in the race.

But I was going fast enough that I was still able to-to

get myself back up into fourth position.

[instrumental music]

All things considering, I think you did really well today.

- And you know-- - Yeah, seriously.

You just barely clipped the wall

and that's what did it, huh?

Dominating all weekend and then to lose the race.

Michael, you didn't lose, I mean you just didn't come in first.

Yeah, but I started in the lead and I lost three spots.

[Reesey] 'Well, because your thingy came off in the back.'

Well, it came off because I hit a wall.

[music continues]

Well, can we make a toast or say a prayer or something?

This goes to Mike who started in first and spanked it

and spanked it, and spanked it, and spanked it

until he couldn't spank it no more.

Okay, well, will the good Lord watch over you

with all your future races.

- 'That's right.' - Right.

Give you a few more firsts.

Thank you.

Is there still more of England

you'd like to see while you're there?

I would like to get down to the coast of Dover sometime maybe.

- 'And do the cliffy things.' - I know that..

[Mike] Back at home I saw America kind of in a different way

and, uh, so I was kind of shocked when I got back.

A-and more or less, I missed, I missed being in England

and missed my roommates.

And I still miss the whole atmosphere of it.

Bye, Reesey.

Go out for baseball, do well.

- Bye. - I love you.

Thank you very much for everything.

We'll be looking for sponsors for you.

Thanks.

[instrumental music]

[Jacinda] As far as modeling goes

I got to travel a lot of the world

and I got to make great money

and, and I got to have an incredible time

and see things I never would've seen.

It's crazy, I think, not to take advantage

of this kind of opportunity

because there's no other job

where you can make that kind of money at-at this age

there's just no way.

Look at me. Good, hold it.

'Can you guys kiss?'

- Kiss? - 'Yeah.'

- On the lips? - 'Yeah.'

♪ I kissed a girl ♪

♪ For the first time ♪

♪ I kissed a girl ♪

♪ And I might do it again ♪

[male #] 'Okay, hold it.'

♪ I kissed a girl ♪♪

Basically, I look at modeling as something

that puts me in a place that I want to be in.

Which is exactly what it can do now.

It can let me travel

it can put me in a lifestyle that I want to live and

it can help me make money to do exactly what I want to do

and that's all it means to me.

[instrumental music]

- Hello. - Hello.

Hi, Legge!

- How's my boy? - Look at him, just look at him.

How's my boy? Hello, hello!

What are you doing?

He's just on your bag, it's like, "It's mom, she's home."

I brought chocolates for everybody.

- 'She brought chocolate!' - Oh, take it.

Fancy, Italian chocolate.

And also a portable disposable dildo.

[Mike] I mean, a lesson was learned this weekend

and that was most important.

I felt, you know, that I, that maybe I sucked

at race car driving, maybe it wasn't the thing for me.

Then when I went home and I was, like, you know

well, wait, you know, I can do this, I can be really fast.

[Jay] 'It's Mike Johnson.'

- How you been? - 'Welcome back, Mike.'

Good morning, Jacinda.

[Jay] 'Hey, Mike's home!'

Yee-haw!

'Are you excited to be back, Mike?'

So how'd you do?

Oh, man, started off.

Friday, tested all day, I was like

a second quicker than anybody.

Then on Saturday for the first qualifier

I qualified on pole and then I won the race.

[cheering]

Congratulations.

Congratulations, man!

I missed you so much!

Mike definitely came back with a whole different kinda mindset

a whole different vibe because he went back to America

and not only did he prove himself

as a, as a race car driver

but, uh, I think also had a lot of reassurances

in the, in some of the things that he believed in.

So when's your next race?

I don't know, hopefully in a couple of weeks.

[Mike] I have a race at Oulton Park

which is maybe four hours Northwest of London

um, right near Liverpool.

It's a very intimidating track.

And you have to, uh, respect it because it will

definitely bite you in the a*s.

[instrumental music]

Mike, you've only got three -minute sessions

so let's get the best of 'em.

- 'Okay.' - Okay, Mike.

[Mike] I had tons of confidence going into qualifying.

I qualified really well for this race.

I mean, I'm in the middle of a pack.

I was happy to be th because that meant, that my times

where closer to the front-runners

and that just kind of signifies

you could-you'll be able to run with the front-runners.

You always get out of the car

thinking "I could've gone a bit quicker."

It's a bit like the paddock at Brand.

You always think you can go faster.

Mikey qualified really well

in what is a-a very tough class.

And bearing in mind, he's only been to the circuit

uh, for one day's testing, and not even that.

And he's certainly very pleased.

That was a good session, isn't it, mate?

- Yeah. - You're th, though.

That's great, I'm happy with that.

[instrumental music]

[Jay] So Mike, Sharon and I got up early

got in Mike's rental car and, uh, had a little road trip.

♪ When your pants are full of foam ♪

♪ Diarrhea diarrhea ♪

♪ Feel your pants burst ♪

♪ Diarrhea diarrhea ♪♪

♪ Hold me it's so easy to ♪♪

♪ One of those bundles should happen to fall ♪

♪ And bottles of beer ♪♪

[Mike] Well, right before the race I was a little nervous.

I always feel nervous when people come to watch.

Because I qualified really well I was still very excited.

I knew I had to still find a couple of seconds in the race

but I was, I was feeling good.

[Jay] 'You're the man! You're the man!'

It's Mike Johnson right here!

Mike Johnson right here!

Ooh, you have red this time.

He was really excited about qualifying.

He was like, "Oh, I did th," and I could tell right away.

Yeah, no, it was a, it was a very good qualifier.

I mean, he has every right to be pleased with himself.

'His engineer turned to me, "Steve," he said'

"I think he's got it."

Mike has that little touch of

c*ck, we call it over here, a little bit of arrogance.

But I like a touch of arrogance in-in any youngster.

In any sport or anything they're doing

if they don't believe in themselves sufficiently

they're never gonna make it, anyway.

[Mike] 'This is the hardest corner.'

'It's really fast and you can't see anything'

'and it's slippery as hell.'

- I'm-- - Show me the track.

This is such an odd shape.

[imitating engine revving]

[Jay] 'Look at that, it's Mike Johnson, USA.'

I'm the only American here, man.

God bless America, that's what I'm talking about.

You're their hopes and dreams.

[Jay] He hasn't been as successful over here as he has back home.

He came over here to kick butt on the English racing circuit

to show them that that's how Americans do it.

The thing.. No, it's just that it's not even on barely.

[Jay] The thing that I think that this trip has done for Mike is

it's given him a different perspective on

race car driving and how's it's done.

Because he said, back in the States

it's gonna make him a more committed, uh, race car driver.

- Oh, I hear Mike. I hear him. - Get up. Come on.

I've got to get pickies, come on, quick.

Let's go, Johnson!

[Mike] Heh-heh, I really don't know what happened on my start.

This one was awful.

These two cars go, fwoosh, right around me.

I'm like, "Oh, no!"

All that work in qualifying just went down the tubes.

Ah, he's way back.

[instrumental music]

[Mike] Caught up with the pack for a little while

and then I got stuck behind, I caught the white car

the guy was just absolutely holding me up

in every corner possible.

[Sharon] So he's in tenth now, if he can get down to ninth that is it.

He could've, like, won the race as far as I'm concerned.

[Jay] 'There he goes.'

See, they're so close, neck-and-neck.

'Push it for that .'

'Get him on the inside, go on the inside!'

'Yes! He's got it!'

He's got it, he's got it, he's done it.

I mean, he's-he's-he's got him, he's got him.

'I knew he'd get that one.'

[music continues]

[man on PA] 'Holding it together, Johnson there'

'well crosses the line in ninth place.'

Yes, I told him, he's nine.

Oh, I wanted him to do ninth, he said single figures.

I was very, very happy with ninth.

And ninth, you came to do single figures

you did single figures, well done.

- Thank you. - Two to go.

'Look at that car, dude, you brought it back in one piece'

that's enough for me, right there.

You're gonna have to practice these starts.

I don't ever have to practice them again

because I'm never doing that again.

I think I learned a lot from these two races.

I learned that, you know, in the States

you can do well and be pretty good

come here and they're a lot better.

He came over here, I think, expecting it to be club racing

and was a little surprised to find himself sliding

into something which is almost like a Mini-Indy.

If-if he were to set his heart on going that road

and he was fortunate enough to get the financial backing

I don't doubt for a minute that Mike

would make a very good professional driver.

Good luck with the rest of the series.

Good luck to you, mate, good luck to you.

I'll see you guys.

I wanna see you in that FW.

I wanna read about it in about five months.

I expected to just come here

and do some races and have some fun and that's it.

I don't know, I've seen a lot of things

in a whole different light since I've been here

that I never expected to see.

[instrumental music]

For some reason, ever since I was little

I had always wanted to see the White Cliffs of Dover.

The thing I found the most amazing about it

was you could just look across this little sea

this little channel and it was a totally different country.

You look over there and it'd be, no, it'd be Americans

and you don't have to worry about it.

Here, you look over there

and it's a totally different country

different language, different people.

Mike's been, like, to me, the hugest like American thing.

He's just, like, the walking American.

And yet, he told me he went home

and he saw some of these things and thought

"My God, you know, is this what my culture's about?"

And he, I guess he saw things that

he never would've seen before.

[Mike] And I don't usually travel outside of the country

and I think the whole experience has probably opened my mind

to what's going around me a lot more and my surroundings

where before I never had to open my eyes.

♪ Tell me why are we ♪

♪ So blind to see ♪

♪ Tell me why are we ♪

♪ So blind to see ♪♪

[male narrator] On the next "Real World.."

I wonder who it could be from?

Kenya!

[screams]

[Mike over answering machine] 'None of us are here right now'

'because we're all in Africa.'

[Sharon] 'Oh, look at how many there are!'

No, no.

[speaking in foreign language]

[Mike] 'They gotta k*ll the goat.'

[Jacinda] 'Kat, they're k*lling a goat.'

[Neil] This is my last chance in my life to see this

I'm blown away by this.

[chanting in foreign language]

[Jacinda] I really saw that Neil is so naive about so many things.

He's like a fish out of water.

[shouts]

- There he goes. - Uh-huh.

- Woo, look! - He's back. Oh, he's..

N-oh!

- No, he didn't pass it. - Oh!

It's 'cause of that thing, he would've done it

if he wasn't in that little thing then he would've done it.

Ah!

Yes, he's got.

Get it, get it, get it. Get it, get it, get it.

I just really want him to kick that in

because if he can keep it along here and get into that slow bit

then he's, then he's kept it.

He's tenth, okay, so he's, uh, he's moved to

single figure, so all he has to do--

What happened to that guy he was chasing?

So that's probably the car he's gotta chase, .

- Yeah. - It is.

- But he is way ahead though. - See, there's a huge..

He's way way ahead of those guys now, he's left them

but I'm really proud of him 'cause he got past that guy

and that guy was good, that .