09x01 - Moving Into the Big Easy

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Jamie] This is the true story...

[Matt] ...of seven strangers...

[Melissa] ...picked to live in a mansion.

-[Kelley] ...work together.
-[Danny] ...and have their lives taped.

-[David] ...to find out what happens...
-[Julie] ...when people stop being polite...

[Jamie] ...and start getting real.

-[David] The Real World...
-[Kelley] ...New Orleans.

[theme music concludes]

[upbeat music playing]

[Julie] I'm going to step on
to this streetcar,

and it's going to take me to a place
that I just don't even know,

and it's just gonna take me
to people that I don't even know.

I go to a school called
Brigham Young University.

It is a 99.5 percent Mormon university.

Co-ed living is not cool with B.Y.U.

And they don't know
I'm going on The Real World.

I honestly do not know
how they're going to react.

[David] The roommates
that I meet for the first time,

when they see me, I'm thinking, fear.

[Julie] "Special."
Oh, this has gotta be my car.

My parents,
they are definitely worried about me.

Taking time off school
to go live in a city

that I don't know anyone,
I've never been.

I'm a big girl now, and I'm starting
to form my own life, I hope.

-Hi.
-Hi. How are you?

-I'm Julie.
-David. Glad to meet you.

-Give me a hug.
-Sure. [laughs]

You seem bubbly. That was a good hug, too.
That was a good hug.

-Oh, good.
-[David] That was good.

You seem bubbly,
and you smile wonderfully.

So what's up with the situation back home?
Tell me about it. Family?

-Maybe relationships? Tell me about...
-I have none.

-[David] You don't? Really?
-Do you have a girlfriend?

-No, I'm single.
-[Julie] No?

-That's good.
-Is it lonely?

-Nah. Boys are trouble.
-[David] Are they?

-[laughs]
-Are you a player?

[funky music playing]

[women screaming]

-You must be who I'm looking for.
-Yes.

-[Danny] And what is your name?
-Melissa.

-Melissa, I'm Danny.
-Danny.

-Nice to meet you.
-Are you one of the roommates?

-Yes. I'm a roomie.
-Do you have the key, man?

-No, I don't have the key.
-Let's go.

Let's go.

-[laughs]
-Let me get that for you. Is this it?

Yeah. Oh, no, I'll get my rice.

-[laughs]
-I can't have any brand, you know?

-There you go.
-Thank you!

[Danny] Melissa and I are in the car
and we're talking about ourselves.

So, immediately he says to me,
"I have a secret."

-What's your secret, come on?
-You'll find out.

-No, I have to know.
-You don't have much patience, do you?

-No, I don't. Come on.
-[laughs]

[Melissa] Being the Melissa that I am,
that I can't keep secrets,

don't tell me you have a secret
and then not tell me the secret.

-Tell it.
-You'll find out. Just wait.

-What is it?
-Just wait. It's not that great.

-Well, then tell me now. You're [bleep].
-[chuckles]

-What is it? Tell me.
-You'll wait.

-I hate you.
-No, you don't.

-Yes, I do.
-No, you don't.

-[Melissa] Yes, I do.
-[funky music concludes]

[upbeat music playing]

[driver] Third and Saint Charles,
Belfort's place.

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
That's where we're going to live!

Thanks for the ride.

-All right.
-[Julie] This is so huge. Okay.

I never had a doorway. Let me see the key.

[Julie chuckles]

-[David chuckles]
-[chuckles]

-Nice! Oh, snap!
-[Julie chuckles]

-Look at this!
-[David] There's a kitchen.

It looks like it's from The Jetsons.
Everything is just gorgeous.

-We got art everywhere.
-[Julie] Yeah!

[David] The colors are bursting.

We got bugs lighting up on the wall.
The whole place is just art.

[Julie] I didn't realize
we're living here.

[David] This is tight.

Did I say "tight" enough?
Have I said that enough?

-[Julie] Let's go upstairs. [chuckles]
-[David] Yeah, baby!

-Whoo! Oh, snap!
-[Julie laughs]

-[David] Look at this!
-[laughs]

I like the color and the way
the house captures New Orleans.

Like, the rooms each have a theme.

-[David] This is the death room?
-[Julie] It's the voodoo room.

I'm not gonna sleep in this room.

[David gasps] Look at this.

-Give me a hug.
-[chuckles]

[groans]

[chuckles] We got a crocodile.
Whoo-hoo! We're really in Louisiana now.

-[David] This is tight.
-[upbeat music concludes]

[funky music playing]

[Julie] Hey, hey, someone's here.

-[David] Who is it?
-All right, let's do this.

-All right, yeah, yeah.
-Somebody's in there, man.

[Julie laughs]

-Come on.
-Hi. Welcome, welcome.

-How's it going?
-I'm Julie.

-Matt.
-Matt?

When I first saw Matt, I was like,
"Okay, that's probably the one

I would hook up with
if it's gonna happen."

-Oh, wow.
-[Julie] David, they're here!

-We're the only ones so far.
-[Kelley] Okay, hi!

-Where are you from?
-Hi. Nice to meet you.

-[Matt] Wow, man, this is our house.
-[Julie] Hey, Dave!

-My man, Dave!
-[David] What up, baby?

-[Julie laughs]
-[Matt] How you doing, man?

-I want you to meet Kelley.
-[Kelley] Hey, Dave.

-[David] Hey, Kelley.
-Oh, look at you. Big, old boy.

How's it going?

[David] Okay, supermodel
and skateboard kid.

[Matt] Is there a fridge?

"Welcome to your new home.
Enjoy your first taste of N'awlins."

-[Julie chuckles]
-Hey! We're stocked.

Look at the dog.

[Matt] This is the robot dog.
I've read about these.

They'll run with you
on the street.

-[whistles] Sit up.
-[Julie] He's so cute.

-[David] No peeing.
-[Matt] There we go. That's a boy.

[Julie] Maybe it's because I've lived
for so long in Provo

where everyone's the same,
but we're definitely

gonna be very different,
and that's cool.

-Are you single?
-Yeah.

-You are? Me too.
-I'm very single.

-[Matt] I think we're all single.
-[Julie] I'm so ready. [chuckles]

-That's four out of seven so far.
-[Matt] Four out of seven.

-Singles rule this house.
-[funky music concludes]

[upbeat music playing]

You and all your stupid secrets.
What's the secret, man?

-You'll find out. [chuckles]
-Tell me. I can't stand you already.

So, what do you think
these roommates are going to be like?

-I don't know.
-What do you think the ratio is gonna be?

-You think everybody else will be White?
-Do you have a complex about White folks?

Not at all.

-I don't know what they'll be.
-I like vegetables in my white rice.

You're just enough salt
for all my pepper, then.

-[chuckles]
-[Melissa] To be half Black

and half Filipino,
you have got to be a tough little thing.

-I was really hoping you would be ugly.
-[laughs]

And I'm hoping everyone in the house ugly

so I could be
the little shining star or something,

but I bet everyone will be really cute

-and have big boobs.
-[Danny] Really?

Watch these girls be cute.
Don't you think they'll be cute?

That's the complex I'm having.
I'm thinking they'll be cute

and like, "Oh, my God,
let's go put on some makeup."

-[Danny] What if it's all guys?
-Yahoo.

If it's all guys, yahooey, kablooey.
I could have a man sandwich every day.

-[Danny] Yeah?
-Mm-hmm. I just love boys.

-Cute little White ones, too.
-Nothing wrong with that.

Oh, my goodness. [laughs]

[upbeat music concludes]

[soft music playing]

-Do you have any tattoos?
-I don't. Do you?

-No. I design them though.
-[chuckles]

I'm all about design, art and stuff.

-Your turn to ask me a question.
-Okay. You're from Atlanta, you said.

Well, now, that's not really being true.

I'm from a small town,
real rural, you know?

-Real rural.
-[Julie] Matt just blows my mind

'cause he seems to encompass
like, all these different qualities

that I didn't think you could
just get in one person.

[Matt] So, you know about me,
and I know virtually nothing about you,

except your name is Julie,
and you're from Milwaukee.

-I don't have that interesting of a story.
-What?

The whole time, I'm all,
"Why are they picking me?

Why are they calling me back?
I'm boring."

[Matt] Julie seems like a sweet person.
Kind of like an innocence,

and it's real attractive, you know?

You can't help but be attracted to her
because of that sweetness.

It's nice. It's refreshing.

I've got a baby back home, 19-inch
monitor, 600 megahertz, 120 megs of RAM.

[Julie] I have a feeling
that I am going to really like him.

Oh, no. [chuckles]

[Kelley] I was in the West Indies
for three weeks before I came up here.

-[David] So you travel extensively?
-Yeah, yes.

I need, like, constant stimulation.
Do you go out?

-Definitely.
-[Kelley] You do?

-You don't drink though?
-No.

-I just dance. That's my high.
-[Kelley] That's awesome.

When I go out, I'm always looking around.
"She's fine. She's good."

That's how a player operates.

Do you know what I wanna do
before I leave here?

-[Kelley] What's that?
-I want to strip at a club.

[Kelley] Nuh-uh. You really do?

-You want to be a stripper? [laughs]
-I don't wanna be a stripper.

I just want to do it.

I wanna shake a little.
[groans] "Okay, that's it."

[Kelley] Could you do that though?
Could you strip?

Would you really do it?
You wouldn't chicken out?

[David] I have worked
so hard at my body and...

-[Kelley] So you're proud of it?
-I'm very proud of it.

Very proud and I know
God's gonna bless me to go higher.

-[Danny] Check these houses out.
-[upbeat jazz music playing]

-You ever been here before?
-Never.

-Oh, my Lord!
-Is this where we're staying at?

-[Melissa] This is big.
-[Danny] Holy [bleep]. It's Tara.

-[chuckles]
-Who's Tara?

Tara, from Gone with the Wind.

Oh, my goodness,
I live in a plantation home.

-[Danny] I cannot believe this.
-[Melissa laughs]

-[Danny chuckles]
-[Melissa] Our house has a name.

-Hey, welcome to New Orleans.
-Welcome to the plantation house.

-[Melissa] Move.
-[Danny laughs]

Wanna be first. Think you're all that?

[Melissa chuckles]

I was expecting a butler
to come up and greet us.

-[Danny] Think we should just walk in?
-[Melissa] We can't just walk in.

[Danny] Yeah, we can. We live here.

-What's up, kids?
-[Melissa] Oh, my goodness.

-I'm Melissa.
-[Julie] Hey, I'm Julie.

-Hey, Melissa, how's it going?
-[Melissa] How are you doing?

-[Julie] I'm Julie.
-[Melissa] Julie?

-David. How are you?
-[Danny] I'm Danny.

-Danny, good to meet you.
-[Danny] Nice to meet you.

[Melissa] Oh, my goodness.
What's your name?

-David.
-[Melissa] I can't be living like this.

Oh, my God!

First impression,
David's muscles are way too big.

Oh, my goodness, you guys are cuties!
Hey, wait, time-out.

Julie... Wait, no. Let's take turns
'cause I got to hear everything.

All right, so I want to see
the rest of this place.

[Melissa] Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

[indistinct chatter]

[Melissa] What?

What else do we got?
Oh, my goodness gracious.

I just can't take it.

-I wanna grab somebody's butt.
-[Matt] She grabbed my butt.

She's freaky, I can tell you that.

She just grabbed my butt.
She's all up in my seam.

-[Danny] Oh, we have a dog?
-Yeah. We can't have a dog

'cause I don't like animals.

-[Matt whistles]
-[Melissa] No.

Where's this last person
'cause I want to pick my room,

I wanna get situated, I wanna put
my clothes in drawers and lay down.

-[upbeat jazz music concludes]
-[funky music playing]

[alarm buzzes]

-[funky music concludes]
-[Melissa] Oh, he speaks French.

[Matt] So, you're gonna seduce
these women?

Yeah, you're the smoothie.
I can see it every night.

[Melissa] That's what I said.
He's gonna be the love maker.

-He's going to be here, humping all night.
-[all laugh]

Danny, tell me your secret in French,
I'll see if I can understand.

-[Julie] What's the secret thing?
-[Melissa] What is the secret?

I'll tell you in French. Je suis pédé.

[Kelley] I took French for three years

but I missed out on that word.
I don't know how.

-Say it again.
-Je suis pédé.

[Kelley] I can't figure out
the first thing he says, which is,

"Je suis," which is "I am,"
but he says it like... [mumbles]

-Something else. I didn't get it.
-[chuckles] Don't worry.

No, I really want to know.

What is it?
Spell it for me, would you? Hey.

-[Melissa] Where's this seventh person?
-[mysterious music playing]

-Do you think it's gonna be a girl or guy?
-[Danny] Someone's here.

Oh, it's just another car.

All right, guys.

Wow! Dyn-o-mite!

-Hey, how are you doing?
-[Kelley] Oh, my God, hi. [laughs]

-[Jamie] Hola.
-[Matt] Seventh person's here.

-Is it a boy?
-How did you sneak in like that?

-Whoo!
-[mysterious music concludes]

[upbeat music playing]

-[Melissa] Whoo! Hi, I'm Melissa!
-[laughs]

Hi, Melissa. I'm Jamie.

Jamie! [screams]
I knew your name was Jamie.

Jamie is just sickeningly perfect.

-What's your name?
-Matt.

-Nice meeting you.
-Pleasure meeting you.

-What up, man?
-[Danny] I'm Danny.

Hi, Danny. How you doing?

-[Julie] I'm Julie. Yeah.
-Julie? Okay.

Where you from, Jamie? Have a seat.

-[Jamie] I'm from Chicago.
-What part you from?

Chicago, like, up on the North Shore.

Right near Northwestern University.

[David] I grew up
on the South Side of Chicago.

You have to mind your P's and Q's.

I say I'm from Chicago,
but the North Side.

One of the greatest places
to grow up.

-Where you from?
-South Side, Comiskey Park.

-Oh, really?
-[David] Yeah. Projects.

Not proud of it, but it's all right.

My neighborhood is very dangerous.

You get over there much? South Side?

-Only for a baseball game or two.
-Word.

Other than that, he's like,
"I stay clear of the South Side."

Look at this guy.
It's why I stay clear of it.

The stork dropped me
right in the right place.

We come from very, very different worlds.

-[Julie] So, is everybody going to eat?
-We're all here. We can all sit down.

-Let's eat.
-[upbeat music playing]

[David] We all sitting
in the Jetson kitchen,

warming up gumbo and collard greens
and some cornbread.

[chuckles] So choice.

-Your job is the chicken.
-All right. I got the chicken.

-You think five is enough?
-[Kelley] Always.

You know, New Orleans style,
Cajun, Big Easy, good stuff.

[indistinct chatter]

-[Danny] You two are pretty tight.
-[David laughs]

Do we have soy sauce?

We sitting there eating.
Just being like a family

-for the first time.
-Sorry.

-[all laugh]
-[upbeat music concludes]

-[Matt] These greens are good.
-[Melissa] I know. Aren't they awesome?

You're from Brigham Young? Are you Mormon?

-Yeah.
-All right.

I missed that whole part.
Didn't know you went to school there.

-Yeah.
-Wow, that's nuts. You Mormon?

So, that's my secret, I guess.
That's my secret.

I came into the house
a little bit on the defensive.

They're going to be gangbusting me
because I'm Mormon.

They're gonna be, like, all over that.

So, are you hardcore and stay away
from caffeine and all of that?

I try to. I'm not, like,
a**l about it. I'm not gonna...

Why? Why? I did not know that.

I mean, it's normal,
but some people don't know about it

and they have ideas about it.

-Are you married?
-No! [laughs]

I thought that people
get married, like, at 16.

Oh, no! [laughs] Not that I know of.

[Matt] They get married at 15.
Don't you know anything?

-[Julie chuckles]
-I haven't brushed up on my Mormon.

[Julie] "Ooh, the Mormon girl.

What's the Mormon girl doing?
What's her deal?"

Well, listen here.
Since Jamie's here, tell us your secret.

[clears throat] You will find out
with time.

-Would you just let it go?
-No.

-[Matt] Let's show Jamie the place.
-[upbeat music playing]

[Danny] Jamie, I'll have you know,
we did not pick rooms yet.

[David] Let's pick our rooms right now.

What is everybody
kind of thinking right now?

I will say, I would feel uncomfortable
rooming with a girl.

-[Julie] You would?
-Yes.

I just think it'd be kind of weird.
I've never done it before.

I don't really plan
on sharing a bed with a lady

or anything. [chuckles]
So, I can handle a single.

-Who's got what?
-[David] I want that room.

-Okay.
-I really like this room too, now.

Kelley just kind of took charge and said,
"Okay, let's figure this out."

[Kelley] If you don't mind
and he doesn't mind a single bed,

and you want this bed, well then
there's your three guys right here.

-Done.
-[Kelley] It was very easy. Very easy.

I totally couldn't imagine that we could
actually do that without fighting.

-Is that cool with everybody?
-[Jamie] Totally. Is everybody happy?

That's weird. I gotta get out of here.

-It went too easily.
-We'll all be in the same bed anyway,

-so I don't know why we're talking.
-[Jamie chuckles]

[Matt] This is just our first night.

It's New Orleans.
Where do you go? Bourbon Street.

[Melissa] Out-of-control Melissa
with four beautiful boys.

-I think I need to be in a Manwich!
-Manwich!

-[Melissa] Manwich! Whoo!
-[Matt] Manwich!

I will have a lot
of self-control to work on.

[Jamie] It's gonna get crazy.
I'm psyched about the whole thing.

Hopefully, we can get down and dirty
and see what happens.

I hope we can at least live together
and not k*ll each other.

I'm in New Orleans, you know, sex, booze.
It's not going to be normal.

I do not need
this temptation right now, okay?

[upbeat music concludes]

[Danny] Those two in that picture,

they were two
of my good friends from school.

-He's my good friend from Atlanta too.
-What does "good friend" mean

-in terms of that picture?
-Which one?

[Melissa] The beautiful man
in the underwear?

-[somber music playing]
-In the underwear? Good friends.

What's the wink, "good friends"?
Come on, you can't leave me like this.

[Danny] Putting two and two together.

I think I'm putting
two and two together, but...

-[Danny] It's pretty obvious.
-Yeah, but...

I don't know why that would be a secret.

Very, very recently,
I came out to my parents.

I was, like, "Well, you know, I'm g*y."

The minute I told them,
it was like I was alive,

really alive for the first time.

[Melissa] You give off
an attracted-to-girls vibe.

I still am.
But it's not as intense, though, you know?

-I don't know what that means.
-So, are you bi?

I don't think so.

I met an awesome guy.
His name is Paul.

I've never felt like this
for somebody before.

-[Melissa] Are you still with Paul?
-Mm-hmm.

-[Melissa] Is he coming?
-No.

-I don't know.
-[Melissa] Why?

-Okay, I want you to look at that.
-[Melissa] He's beautiful.

[Danny] See what he's wearing
in the middle picture?

-What is that?
-[Melissa] Military.

[Danny] Exactly. [chuckles]

[Melissa] That's not a secret.

Secrets are like,
"I have one nut" or something.

-[laughs]
-[Melissa laughs]

For me, I have to be very careful
with what I reveal about him.

I could ruin his career, his life.

And his family doesn't know.

-[Jamie] Who's this?
-[Danny] That's my friend, Paul.

-Yeah?
-[Danny] Yeah.

I never really lived
with a g*y guy before.

Is that a politically correct word? g*y?

-[somber music fades out]
-[guitar music playing]

[guitar music stops]

-[chuckles]
-[Julie] Hi.

-[Danny] Go ahead. I'm just listening.
-[somber music playing]

I had this feeling to want to protect her.
I mean, she's so cute and innocent.

Why'd you stop playing?
I came to hear you play.

-[laughs]
-[Danny] Just play me one thing

and then put it down.

[laughs]

-[Danny] Come on.
-[Julie] Danny is a super-sweet,

ultra-sensitive, beautiful human being

-and I really like that.
-That's okay.

[Julie] I'll get comfortable
with it, I swear.

-All right.
-[Julie] I think that I'm going to do

a lot of growing here,

and that there's going to be a lot
of new experiences opened up to me.

I just can't believe
I get this big 'ol bed

-all to myself.
-Not right now, you don't.

-Let me get up in here.
-[Julie] Little things are freedom here,

like the fact I can lay
in my bed late at night,

talking to Danny and that's okay,

which is something
that I would never ever be able to do.

I mean, it's just not
something that I ever would have done.

At my school,
I'd be booted out for something like this.

[breathes deeply]

Look at this, 4:00 in the morning
and there's a boy in my room.

-Is it four o'clock?
-This is so against the rules.

[somber music concludes]

I think we have, like,
the coolest group.

Four men in the house.
I can't deal with that.

-Oh, dude!
-Man, how can this be? Oh, my God.

Do you love them all?
I don't know what to do.

-[laughs] You're going to be okay.
-Do you see them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're great.

I just wanna kiss them
and put them in my pocket.

-Two here and two here.
-[Kelley] You might have a chance.

-That's like four little Ken dolls.
-[laughs]

-Four Ken dolls.
-I know. They're really cute.

Now, you two are Barbie.
They always name the brown one

-like Tara or something.
-[laughs]

[laughs] Oh, no.

You know what I'm saying.
Can you not take this?

I don't know.
This is gonna be a rocky five months.