09x07 - Cupid Strikes The Belfort

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Jamie] This is the true story...

[Matt] ...of seven strangers...

[Melissa] ...picked to live in a mansion...

[Kelley] ...work together...

[Danny] ...and have their lives taped.

[David] To find out what happens...

[Julie] ...when people stop being polite...

[Jamie] ...and start getting real.

-[all] The Real World...
-[Julie] ...New Orleans.

[theme music concludes]

[electro music playing]

[Danny] I've gotten a job as a bartender.

I'm working on Thursday nights
and I'm very excited about it

'cause it's an opportunity for me
to make a lot of money.

I knew that working at 735
would be a temptation,

'cause there's so many
good-looking people down there.

What's your name?

-Wes.
-Wes.

-What's your name, man?
-I'm Danny.

-Do you like New Orleans so far?
-Yeah, I love it.

There's a battle in me
between do I want to put

the time and effort into Paul
or do I just

want to have a good time here

-and meet new people here?
-Do you have to bartend all night?

Yeah. I need to be good.
I don't need to be getting into trouble.

Tell me your name
one more time, I'm sorry.

[bleep] you don't remember my name?

Come on! Watch your language.

-I remember your name.
-What?

Wes.

-It's Danny.
-[Wes] Danny. Yeah.

I'm really bad with names.

I see that.

[upbeat hip hop music playing]

[Danny] Before I came here, I was like,
"I'm not going to hook up with anybody."

And all my friends laughed at me. [laughs]

But I was like, "I'm not gonna do it."

-Yeah, right.
-[laughs]

I always have a voice in the back
of my head saying, "Go for it."

It'd be different, you know,

if I had longer to hang out
before I came here.

And I'm thinking in my head
about Paul the entire time.

[Paul over phone] I'm just constantly
thinking about you.

-I'm very glad to hear that.
-[Paul over phone] But have fun.

I'm going to. What do you mean by that?

[Paul over phone, sighs]

I don't want to be a distraction.

You're definitely not a distraction.

[Paul over phone]
Sometimes it feels that way.

[Danny] Am I going to try to hold off
and keep him as the only one?

I don't know.

-[Paul over phone] I love you much.
-I love you, too.

I've never felt like this for somebody
before and I miss him a lot.

[whispers]
Quit being such a hypocrite.

You live in New Orleans,
for crying out loud.

It's, like, g*y central
and you're going to get hit on constantly.

[Danny] I just want to be strong
for a change, you know?

-Then be strong.
-[Danny] And quit being so [bleep].

Then have some conviction in your life.

[Danny sighs] It's just not that easy.

[Kelley] Well.

[whimsical music playing]

-[Peter over phone] Hello.
-[Kelley over phone] Hi.

Do you want to swing by here, like, 3:30?
Just go hang out for a little bit?

[Peter] Okay, maybe run up
by the river and watch the sunset.

[Julie] My prediction with Jamie,
was that he and Kelley

were going to hook up.

But I'm striking that from the record

'cause just from what
I've observed this week,

I don't think that's going to happen.

[upbeat music playing]

[Kelley] He starts giggling. That's good.

[both laugh]

The relationship with Peter right now,
it's truly living a day-to-day thing.

[seagulls squawk]

-[Peter] Cheers.
-Thanks.

-I had a fun time these last four days.
-Yeah, me, too.

[Kelley] Of course,
I'm having a good time.

I mean, you always have
a good time in the beginning.

My friend called me today and she goes,

"So, have you met any guys yet?"
And I was, like, "Yeah, I met one.

His name is Peter.
He's 28, he's really hot." [laughs]

[Kelley] I'm taking it slow.

I'm not going to jump in headfirst
in anything.

[Peter] All right, my ears are burning.
[laughs]

So, are his doctor friends cute
or what?

He is really, really nice, Kelley.

[Kelley] No, he's really cool.

[Melissa] What about
this girlfriend of his?

Have we further discussed that
with him or what?

I guess that he told her
that he met me or something.

Shows how cool he is.

What guy would... [groans]

[Melissa] He just straight up broke out
with the honesty?

Yes.

He said, "I met this girl
and I think she's really cool

and I like to hang out with her."

I'm slightly apprehensive
because I still could

potentially be setting myself up
to be let down in the end.

This is how I feel about his girlfriend.
Out of sight, out of mind.

[Kelley laughs]

[instrumental music playing]

[Julie] Look, we get this whole car
to ourselves. I'm not sitting by you.

There's this weirdness...
between Julie and myself,

that prevents us
from really talking to each other.

I don't know what it is.

Since day one,
Matt has had some awareness

that I was attracted to him.

You're cold?

[Julie] I just don't see how he couldn't.

What if I hold your head out of it?

[Julie] I'm feeling that Matt and I
are having communication issues.

We don't talk to one another very much.

And if we are, it's more like
him talking at me.

[Matt] I love my computer.

You make love to your computer.

[Matt] It's a full-figured computer.

You just hug it, rock it to sleep.

I mean, that's a cool relationship
because you can turn it on and off.

-And it listens to you.
-Exactly.

-[Alan] What's going on?
-[both laugh]

[Julie] The most important person
in my life

is my brother Alan.

[both squeal]

[Julie] He's into what I'm into, you know.
We have the same scene.

I found the coolest guitar shop.
It's, like, vintage guitars.

-Oh, serious?
-[Julie] Alan is just a really

good person to talk to.

And I'm so glad that he came to visit.

You go-go!

[Julie screaming]

See, it's Valentine's Day on Monday,
so I figured,

if no other boys are going
to give you stuff, then I might as well.

[Matt] For Valentine's Day
I don't have anything planned.

It's really just another day for me.

Those are valentines for everybody

that I was going to give you
on Valentine's Day.

You don't need to have a lover
on Valentine's Day.

You just got to have love.

-Isn't he the best?
-I'm just digging in your bag.

[Melissa] Julie has
an excellent relationship

-with her brother.
-He bought me a shirt.

It seems as though,
they didn't have television as children,

the way they get along so well.

-Alan, you're so sweet.
-[Melissa] I know.

-It's sickening.
-Oh, you know...

[blues riff playing]

[Julie] Alan has never been
to a big city like New Orleans,

where they have the French Quarter.

And I think he's open to it.

-Where should we play?
-[Alan] Place d'Armes.

One, two, three, four.

[up-tempo guitar music playing]

-[Julie] We got three bucks.
-[Alan] We got three dollars? Sweet.

[Julie] I feel like he understands me
a lot more than other people.

He doesn't agree with everything I say
but he doesn't,

you know, he doesn't judge me.

-[Alan] It's the devil.
-[Julie] Tarot cards is not the devil.

Let's get our palm read.

-You can have your frigging palm read...
-Come with me.

...and then have all the damnation
that comes with it can be all yours.

[Julie] Come on!

I want to know if I'm going to ever
find the man of my dreams.

[all laugh]

[Julie] Where's my love line?

-[woman 1] This is a line of love here.
-[Julie] That's why it's so small!

-No, no. It's strong. It's strong.
-Oh, man.

You want to hear something
really depressing for Valentine's Day?

The psychic tells me that

I'm not going to find love
until I'm 24,

and I'm not going
to get married till I'm 30,

and I was, like, "Wah!"

-I'm going to be a virgin till I'm 30?
-[woman 1] No.

My gosh, I might go sh**t myself.

[upbeat dance music playing]

[Danny] Wes is one of the guys
who I am honestly attracted to.

At the same time,
there's, like, Paul back home.

[Danny] Where did this stripper come from?

All of a sudden, there's a naked man
on the stage.

[woman laughing]

God, that's sick.
We just stepped into the Twilight Zone.

We should all go back
and get in the hot tub.

Yes! Let's go!

[Danny] All I'm wearing

is the smile on my face
and the hair on my head.

This ain't for ladies,
it's for big ol' boys.

[laughs]

-[Wes] It's a little slippery.
-[Danny] Sitting in this hot tub,

I'm thinking that these guys
are very attractive,

and these guys are attracted
to me as well.

Any time you mix alcohol
with good-looking people, things happen.

[Danny] As I sober up,
I'm, like, "Oh, God,

you guys have got to go now."

I had to get myself
out of that situation.

I'm ready to go to bed.

-Good night, baby.
-Good night.

[Danny] Paul, I have not seen him
in a few weeks now,

and it's started to get
really hard to be faithful.

-See you, brother.
-All right, y'all have a good night.

Be careful.

[instrumental music playing]

[Danny] If you're with somebody,
do you think it's wrong

to fantasize about other people?

-Just to fantasize about 'em?
-[Kelley] No.

[Danny] I feel guilty if I'm with somebody
and I'm thinking about somebody else.

-It's not like I would act on it, but...
-No, that's the point of the fantasy.

[Danny] Isn't that wrong?

-No. It's not wrong at all.
-[Danny] No?

[Kelley] Of course you have to, I think.

[Danny] I think so, too.
It'd be boring if...

Well, you're human,
and I think that's part of it.

-Well, that makes me feel better.
-[Kelley] It doesn't help...

Makes you feel better? Good.
Well, it's all about you, then.

[dog growls]

[lounge music playing]

[Melissa] You're going to bring him lunch?

[Kelley] They have to work 12-hour shifts
and they don't get lunch breaks.

Peter is too good to be true.

I think Kelley would like it
to seem platonic.

[Kelley] And a piece of Chocolate Dream.

But it's so not.

-[Melissa]When did his girlfriend leave?
-Yesterday.

[Melissa] Good.

This past weekend

Peter had his girlfriend in town to visit.

And I'm sure she's actually
really a nice person.

[Melissa] I'm sure she is.

-But...
-[Melissa] She's still a problem.

-...she doesn't live here right now.
-[Melissa] Out of sight, out of mind.

[Kelley groans]

I don't want to mess anybody's life up
or screw up a relationship.

But at the same time,
they live so far away

from each other that it just
seemed like it made sense

that he might have started
to have interest in somebody else.

-[Melissa] Charity Hospital. This is it.
-[Kelley] All right.

-Hey, hey.
-Here you go.

-Lunch? You shouldn't have.
-Yes.

I got you good stuff, too.

He decided that he would like to
see where this goes.

-Nine o'clock?
-Back to work. Yep.

-[Peter] Okay.
-I'll see you then.

-Bye.
-Bye.

-He looks so cute in his little scrubs.
-[Melissa] Outfit... [groans]

[Kelley] It wasn't covered in blood
or anything, which is nice.

-[Danny] Are you dyeing your hair?
-Yeah.

[Julie] Okay.

-[Danny] Do you know what you're doing?
-He'll like it.

-You're getting it?
-You look good.

-I'm all molesting your brother.
-[Julie laughs]

-It's orange.
-[Julie] Well...

-It's orange? That's cool.
-And look, we didn't even ruin your shirt.

Oh, good, my ugly fish shirt.

I gave him that shirt.
I make him wear it.

It's ugly.

-[laughs]
-The prairie children run up the stairs

-as they hold hands.
-[laughs]

[Danny] Little House
on the Prairie. [laughs]

[Julie] There's lots of things
that go on in the world

that I don't like, but, you know
you just got to deal with it and go on.

-Is this, like, a family conversation?
-[Alan] No, it's not at all.

[Julie] You're welcome to the room, Matt.
How's it going?

[Melissa] Matt has a beautiful mouth.

His lips are just perfect.

I can't talk to someone
when I'm just like,

-"Wow, you have a gorgeous mouth."
-[blows raspberry]

[Matt] I made a fart sound
with my armpit on your head.

You tried to steal my change.

[Alan] You're so stupid, Julie.

-[Julie] Why?
-"I hate him."

He comes in, he lets you, like, sit down
and lay your head on his chest

-and he gets all, like... And you let...
-[laughs]

It's true. That's why you're
beating and kicking me up.

-[laughs] I hate you.
-That's why you do it.

Because he... you let him touch you
for two seconds, you're all...

Alan will tell me when I'm being stupid.

I know you too well.

I hate you.

[Alan] If I was hanging around you
too much,

you'd just get so pissed off
because I'd call you

-on all your little things.
-[grunts]

[Julie] Good night.

[telephone ringing]

[Danny] Are you in your uniform right now?

[Paul over phone] No, I'm actually
not in anything.

-Damn, that's even better.
-[Paul laughs]

Why don't you show up?

[Paul over phone] No, I have to work.

But expect something around
eight to nine o'clock, on Monday.

If you have something to do, then...

No, that's fine,
I won't be going anywhere.

[Paul over phone] Don't worry, it's not
a dancing telegram,

and there's no flowers.

Just tell me what's in the gift.

[Paul over phone]
Kid, continue on missing me.

[Danny] I have something
being sent to me.

And I have no clue what it is.

I'm excited. [laughs]

[upbeat music playing]

[Julie] I got everybody
Valentine's Day crap. [laughs]

[Melissa] This has got to be
the stupidest holiday I ever heard of.

[Julie] It's not stupid.

Yes, it is.

I got everybody these little,
like, heart things.

-[Melissa] Which one's mine?
-[Julie] This one.

-Get it?
-[Melissa] "You crack me up."

[Julie laughs]

And Danny's says,
"Be my lover, baby. Change is good."

Is this not perfect for David? [laughs]

"Slow down." [laughs]

[Melissa] I love Julie.
She is the biggest nerd I ever met.

I don't even want to do Valentine's Day
'cause I'm a little grouch.

So everyone...

can kiss my butt.

[doorbell ringing]

-How you doing?
-Great, how are you?

-Oh, fine.
-Thank you!

You're welcome. Have a nice day.

-"Jamie... Jamie, Jamie..."
-Bubble wrap, that's all I want.

[Jamie] These are Valentine's Day
gifts for you guys.

[Julie] Aw, you're so sweet.

[Jamie] This is Matt's book, of course.
Hmm, this book...

Oh, this is your book. [laughs]

[all laugh]

[Jamie] It's that book
that I always talk about.

-Aw, awesome!
-Thanks, daddy.

I bought books for everybody
for Valentine's Day that I felt...

each one of my roommates
could benefit from.

[Melissa] You will love Ayn Rand.

It's a little, uh, travel reading for you.

[Melissa] What'd you get?

[Danny] I got two letters from Paul.

[Melissa] Well, whoop-de-do. [laughs]

[Danny] He writes the best letters, too.

-Short, simple and to the point.
-[Melissa] He filled it with shells?

-Yeah. It's, like...
-I hate you.

I hope you rot in hell.

[humming]

[Melissa] Is Peter...
sending you a Valentine gift?

Or he's going to bring it?

I bet you're going to get flowers today.

[Kelley] No, he's not a flower person.

-[Melissa] How do you know?
-'Cause he told me.

[Kelley] Peter is taking me to dinner
for Valentine's Day.

But I don't know where we're going
because it's supposed to be a surprise.

[Julie] Did you see all the valentines?
Aren't they cute?

[David] Yes, they so are.

Players don't get valentines.

We don't give valentines.

-[Julie] You don't?
-No.

We just exist.

[Julie] What if you sleep with them?

That doesn't mean
you gettin' a Valentine.

"I slept with you,
give me some candy hearts." [scoffs]

I... I wasn't always a player.

I was the exact opposite,

but it's a big thing to give your all,

and then somebody just say,
"Pssh! To hell with it."

I'm not going to get into
a relationship right now.

There is no way
I can be able to handle it.

You're different than other players

that are just all...
all about the booty call

and they don't care
who and what they think

and yada, yada... and woo-woo. [laughs]

-Very good usage of words.
-I'm trying to work on that.

[mild-tempo jazz music playing]

-[waitress] Happy Valentine's Day.
-Thank you.

[Kelley] I feel very excited about tonight
being Valentine's Day

with such a fabulous guy.

All right, this is
your valentine's present.

-[laughs]
-Okay.

It's not flowers or anything,
but it's a lot, I don't know.

Oh!

-Oh, that's perfect.
-[Peter] Thailand's in there, Indonesia...

[Kelley] Oh!

I had mentioned to him earlier
that I wanted to go to Thailand.

This is all it.

You done good.
See, this is the kind of thing I like.

If you got me roses...
of course, that'd be great, but...

this is thinking.

-It's different.
-Well, roses are a no-brainer.

Right.

Thank you.

-Can we go tomorrow?
-Love to.

Damn.

Has nobody come with a delivery
or anything yet?

Paul had told me to expect
something around eight o'clock.

So, I'm just waiting and waiting, waiting...

I don't understand this.

[upbeat dance music playing]

This is one of my
all-time favorite songs.

[romantic music playing on stereo]

Put my skirt in here.

[Kelley] I feel really good
about Peter right now.

I want to watch this. [laughs]

[Kelley] His girlfriend and him
have decided to go ahead

and allow each other
to see other people.

[both laugh]

-[Kelley laughing]
-[Peter laughing]

[doorbell ringing]

[gentle music playing]

[key dropping]

Are you... serious?

-Happy Valentine's Day.
-[exclaims, laughs]

[Danny] Paul came to see me.

I had no clue he was going to do that.
He is such an awesome guy.

-Welcome back.
-[Paul laughs]

-What did you bring?
-[Paul] Doc Chey's.

You brought Doc Chey's.

[Danny] Not only did he show up,
but he brings...

some food from my favorite
restaurant back in Atlanta.

Chopsticks...

bowls.

-[Danny] So, you got it all?
-[Paul] Yeah. [laughs]

Did you tell them what you were
doing at the restaurant?

[Paul] Yeah.

[Danny] This is the most
incredible present I've ever gotten.

[Paul] I wouldn't let you
eat by yourself.

-Here's your Doc Chey's.
-Thank you so much.

[Paul] I know you've been hungry for it.

Not just for the Doc Chey's,
but for you.

[Danny] My valentine is obviously Paul.

And I have to say this is the first time
ever in my life I've had a valentine.

-How long you staying?
-[Paul] Wednesday, I think.

[Danny] Awesome.

[Danny] This guy is everything that

I have ever been looking for.

-I am tripping out.
-[Paul laughs]

I realize that if I'm going to be strong
down here,

then I'm... I have to do it
from this point.

And, um, I just have to resist temptation.

I definitely got
the best Valentine's present.

Oh, this one's for Julie.

[all laugh]

[Julie] It's cute.

All of Jamie's are going to have
special messages on the back.

[Julie laughing]

"Let's have sex."

[all laugh]

[Julie] I really want you
to stop lusting after Jamie.

You know, when you got filth on
your mind all the time...

[Melissa] I don't have filth on my mind...
There's nothing filthy about sex.

[Julie] I did not say sex was filthy.

I said there's something filthy
about the cheapening of sex.

I don't cheapen my sex.

-[Danny] Sex isn't cheap.
-If I could get it cheaper...

-No.
-[all laugh]

[Melissa] I like it under five dollars.

[all laugh]

[Julie] You're hilarious.