09x18 - Love Is w*r

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Jamie] This is the true story...

[Matt] ...of seven strangers...

[Melissa] ...picked to live in a mansion...

-[Kelley] ...work together...
-[Danny] ...and have their lives taped.

-[David] To find out what happens...
-[Julie] ...when people stop being polite...

[Jamie] ...and start getting real.

-The Real World...
-[Julie] ...New Orleans!

[theme music concludes]

[church bell ringing]

Dad has a hard time with me

not fitting the vision
that he had picked out for me.

He's gonna k*ll me.
That's been the one thing

he's been making the biggest deal.
That I go to church. [yawns]

He, for some reason,

feels he has responsibility
over my spirituality,

and he doesn't.

No matter where you are
or what you're doing,

you're still his daughter,
and he's just concerned about you.

That's called... that's called...

No, you know what,
that's not called "concerned."

-Sorry, I'm gonna get mad.
-It is, Julie.

No, that's, like, beyond...
That's called living my life for me.

[dramatic music playing]

[Kelley] I'm not ready to say anything yet
because I'm not sure yet.

I'm having a down day today, though.

[Peter] You're having a down day?

About, like, whether
I should stay here or not.

[Kelley] It would be impossible
to ever say

that I feel 100% assured

that everything is going
to work out perfectly

if I stay in New Orleans with Peter.

-[Peter] What?
-I don't know.

So, I was starting to think about,
what if...

I don't know. God. [chuckles]
I'm so indecisive.

I have spent so much of my existence

trying to be independent
and strong

and not letting anybody in completely,
and...

[Peter] You always come up
with the right decision.

[both chuckle]

You can ponder all you want, you know,
as long as you come up with the right one.

[upbeat music playing]

-[David] You gonna stay?
-I'm thinking about it. What do you think?

[David] I think it's a cool thing.

I mean, you definitely, you know,
found something in Peter.

You know, he's found something in you,
so it works.

To not, you know, think about the idea
of staying or trying to stay together,

you know what I'm saying, would be...
that would be idiotic.

Kelley's going, uh, through a thing
right now where, you know, she's really,

in a sense, plotting her future.

[Kelley] If you met somebody here
and they wanted you to stay,

-would you stay?
-[chuckles]

Um... That'd have to be
a fine-[bleep] broad. Um...

I guess I'd say "no" right now.

[David] I'm just getting closer
with Kelley

as far as aspects of relationships
are concerned

because that's a big part of my life
that's missing,

so to speak, or that's not there
because of the fact

that I'm, you know,
playing the field or whatever.

If I met somebody like,
"Yeah, damn, this girl's fine."

I mean, "She's intelligent,
she's got a nice place"

or, you know, whatever like that.

You know, we're both going
somewhere or whatever,

cool, no problem. But...

I don't think that's going to happen
in the next month and a half.

[upbeat music playing]

[Julie's mom] Well, the problem is,
we never talk about these things,

so we've decided now
is the time to talk about it.

[Julie] Well, you're right.
Maybe now is not a good time,

but I just...
I'm sick of skirting the issue.

-I'm sick of it.
-I'm open to the idea

of you going to a different college.

-I just want you to be happy.
-[Julie] Thank you.

[Julie's mom] Why don't we
not talk about it?

[Julie] We've always been moving,
and he's been very busy,

and it's just... I guess we never, like,
created that foundation.

[Julie's mom] You and your dad talk about
these things all the time,

and it just turns into a big argument.

[Julie] No, we don't talk about
these things all the time.

-I don't think we do.
-[Julie] We really don't, Mom.

We avoid it because we're afraid it might,
but we've grown past that.

-[Julie's mom] Oh, have we?
-Yes.

[Julie] I really love my dad
for the person that he is,

and yet, as soon as he opens his mouth,
I just get all this anger built up in me.

Why are you touching me?

-[Matt] What always happens on Monday?
-[Julie] What?

Oh, you're being nice to me
'cause it's Monday.

That's right.

[Julie] He gets reminded on Mondays

that he's an [bleep]
and then he's nice to me.

-[Julie's dad] Hey, Julie.
-Seriously, if you ever... what?

[Julie's dad]
Did I hear you say a profane word?

Did I just swear?

The idea of using a profanity
is so wrong to my father.

I think that was Matt.

[Matt] It's only because
I'm the [bleep], man.

-[chuckles]
-[Julie's dad] Is that it?

I think you do it
and you don't even know it, Julie.

Dad, I'm pretty sure
Matt was the one who swore.

[Matt] Yeah.

If you say that, it becomes an example
to your little sisters.

I'm a black sheep anyway.

I'm a bad example,
so don't worry about it.

[Julie's dad]
It doesn't have to be that way.

-Well, it can be.
-But it does, Dad.

You've told me many times.

[all chuckle]

We always are pushing each other's buttons
and we're always fighting.

We can fight over the stupidest,
insignificant things.

Dad, it's just, you're making me angry.
Like, I don't... [scoffs]

Well, it's no big deal.
It's just a word.

-Well, that's what I'm trying to say.
-But is there any reason to continue this?

I mean, why can't you just say,

"Oh, well, I'll just phase that
out of my life."

But what if I don't decide for myself
that I don't want...

I mean, it's bigger than this word.
I'm talking about in general.

What if something that I do,
I don't want to phase out of my life?

What if I like it that way?
Maybe you don't like it that way.

[Julie's dad]
Well, then search your heart.

[chuckles] What the hell
are you talking about?

It's me. This is my life.

When it comes right down to it,

you can't tell me I'm a bad person
because I said the word "[bleep]."

-If I don't think it's a bad...
-I never said you were a bad person.

[Julie] Dad, I can't live up to that kind
of responsibility all the time.

-Can we go?
-No.

I think it's getting late
and we should go.

This is... this is important.
We're finally having it out.

What if I didn't get into BYU?
What if I hadn't gone?

I'd be proud of you
for whatever you did.

What if I hadn't worked my [bleep] off
in high school to get into BYU for you?

And what if I hadn't gone
to seminary every morning

just so I could get into BYU for you?
What if that hadn't happened?

Okay, let's go outside.

I've never had expectations
for you as a father.

I've never said, like,

"If my father hadn't
done this..." da-da-da-da. I never...

I don't sit around
and bemoan that kind of thing.

The only thing I bemoan is the fact
that I can't be good enough for you,

-that I can't live up to it.
-But that's self-imposed.

But, Dad, it's not self-imposed

-'cause you've imposed it on me.
-Yes, it is. No.

Every morning when you came in my room
and yanked the covers off my bed

and made me go to seminary

-when I didn't want to go.
-I do it for Alan, too.

I know, but why?

So he could get into BYU.

-Why? Why?
-For a degree.

Why BYU, though?

I don't understand
why the decisions are made

before we even have a chance
to decide that's what we want.

If you were raised in India,
your parents would be picking your spouse.

-But is that right?
-Over in India it is.

-So, it makes it right here?
-No, it's a lower level.

I have concerns and I have
goals and aspirations

-that I'd like to hopefully...
-Impose on us?

-Not impose on you.
-Give us goals?

-Give us our own goals?
-But give you the opportunity to...

To realize your goals for us?

I just can't do everything
for everybody all the time.

-I don't want you to make mistakes.
-Dad, I've made a ton of mistakes.

Did you pay for them?

Let me pay for them.
Let me own the consequences.

'Cause you know what?
That's what helps me grow

and that what helps me learn

so I'm not living vicariously
through other peoples.

[Julie] I love my dad and I don't want
things to suck between us.

I don't want to have
this bad relationship.

And I don't think he wants it, either.

[Julie] When I run away from home
and I come home

and you break down the bathroom door...

[Julie's dad] Only because of what
you said to your mother.

[Julie] You're telling me
that's a good relationship?

Dad, you know that happened a lot.

[Julie's dad] A lot? What?

-[Julie] Shh. Shh. Don't get angry.
-[Julie's dad] No, come on.

[Julie]
I'm covering my mic up. Just listen.

[Julie's dad] You know that you're
making some of that up.

[Julie]
Dad, what the hell is your problem?

It's like 20 pent-up years of frustration.

I'm not... I can't talk
about this right now.

[Julie's dad] Julie!

[Julie's dad] I'm sorry.
I don't want you to get upset.

We have needed to talk like this.

I am sorry about my attempts
at correction.

It's just part of being a dad.

-Julie, would you like us to leave now?
-[Julie] Well... [grunts]

I just want everyone to leave me alone.

Dad, let's... Dad, let's just go.

[Julie's dad]
Can we have another hug, at least?

-[Julie] No, Dad. [groans] I can't do it.
-Dad, Dad.

We'll leave.

[Julie's mom]
You go take care of her, okay?

[Alan] Yes, yes.
You've done enough damage, Dad.

[Julie's dad] I haven't done any damage.

[Julie's mom]
Can I have the keys, please?

-Is Alan taking care of her?
-[Julie's mom] Yes.

All right. She's just being emotional.

[Julie sobbing]
I knew this was going to happen.

I knew I was going
to talk to him about this.

I didn't want him to be here.

This is not fair. [sobs]

-He's doing this on purpose.
-[Julie sobs]

I think that Dad is trying to, like, say,

"Well, if I can make her feel this bad,
then she'll want to change."

I think Dad is just trying to, like,

just screw with you emotionally

so that you think
there's something wrong with you,

but there's not.
It's something wrong with him

and it's wrong of him to play
these mind games with you.

Alan's so awesome because he...

will let me know that it's not my fault,
that I'm not always the bad guy.

I know that he's just trying
to be a dad or whatever.

[Alan] I just think he picks
the wrong time to start parenting.

[Julie] I don't understand why...
why I can't just be accepted.

Why do I do this?
I love my family. I love them.

They're the most important
people in the world to me,

and yet I persist in making
their lives a living hell,

but I can't go home
and I can't go anywhere else.

[soft music playing]

[Jamie] Addressing these things today
is better than addressing them

But, like, it hurts.

It's medicine.
You got to take the medicine,

but in the end, it's, like,
better for you, you know?

You happen to have a catalyst

to do that conversation
at a very young age.

Peop... Some people,
A, never have the conversation

and B, maybe have it
when their fathers or their mothers

are on their deathbed and they're like,

"What happened?
Where did this connection go?"

The thing is, is what's so beautiful
about you is, like

you're looking at it
and it, like, it opens you up.

It makes you cry, it makes you angry,

everything like that,
but you're recognizing it,

you know what I'm saying?

That's like the first step
to making things better, you know?

Then, when you come here,
it's like you're constantly

self-obsessed and self-analytical

and you see yourself
for what you truly are

and it's ugly and I don't like it.

[Jamie]
But it's good. You need this, girl.

-I don't need anything.
-[Jamie] You need it. Trust me. Like...

All I need is a Jack Daniels...

-and a male prost*tute. [chuckles]
-[Jamie chuckles] Yeah, baby!

I'm just kidding.

[upbeat music playing]

[Peter over phone] Hi, you've gotten
the voicemail of Peter...

[Kelley] Peter and I had a fight.
It was something really stupid.

[upbeat music continues]

[Peter]
You pissed me off last night, big time.

-[Kelley] Why?
-[Peter] Why?

[Kelley]
I don't remember. What did I say?

[Peter] I gave you a flower, and you said,

"Oh, isn't that funny,
you really must be in love,"

and you handed it back to me.
I don't know, just, it was pretty cruel.

I attempt to push people away from me

by making snide remarks
or just being... difficult.

If I can get somebody to leave me first,

then I don't have to deal
with them getting hurt.

[Peter] If I don't say something,
it's gonna be huge

and I won't be able to...

It'll blow up
and it'll be just too big to stop.

Just treat me like anybody else.

[Kelley]
Yeah, I mean, but that's the thing.

Like, I'm sorry
if I'm coming off as an [bleep]

and you say that I treat you badly
and that I can't... I don't feel like I do.

[Peter] There's just times
that you're... pretty callous.

[Kelley] And it's unfortunate
that that is just my personality.

I can be a completely
neurotic [bleep] sometimes.

I would never want to hurt you,
and so I will change

whatever it is that hurts you,
but I can't change who I just am.

[electronic music playing]

-[Danny] Did you go talk to Peter?
-[Kelley] Yeah.

-[Danny] What did he, what did he say?
-[Kelley] He was mad at me.

He said something about
that flower last night or something.

-What flower?
-Remember that flower that he picked?

-Damn.
-'Cause it smelled really good.

Oh. Oh, 'cause you were being mean to him.

I wasn't, though.

-Hmm?
-I wasn't.

You were, too, being mean.

-Well, I didn't mean to...
-So you were being, like, girl mean.

Girls are mean like that.

No, but I wasn't meaning
to be mean, though.

You were joking, but it's still mean
'cause he was being sweet to you.

I definitely feel like
they're in love and I feel like...

there's a lot there,
but also there's a lot of things

that maybe might not
work out in the future.

I'm sorry about that [bleep] thing.

[Julie] Oh, my gosh,
that was so not even your fault.

It was just kind of like
years of pent-up frustration

that finally, like, that...

Well, I'm sorry the whole thing happened,
but I'm especially sorry that you guys

had to be around when that happened.

Well, see, we...
I don't really know what happened.

I just know you started hollering
and I left.

I was trying really hard not to.
I was trying to make a conscious effort.

We just push each other's buttons,
I guess. I don't know.

I mean, it, it ended
on a constructive note, so...

that's a good thing,

but it just is a shame
it had to happen here.

[Matt] Well, you talked to him.
That's, I mean, that's important.

-But, oh, well.
-[Matt] That's good.

[bell clanging]

[Julie's mom] Is Julie around?

-Hi.
-Hi.

[indistinct chatter]

-Dinner was good last night, wasn't it?
-Mm-hmm.

Where is she?

-I'm sorry, Dad.
-I'm sorry, too.

You're a very nice girl.

And I don't give you enough credit
for being as good a daughter as you are.

You make the rest of the world pale.

[Julie] Thank you.
That's nice of you to say that.

[melancholic music playing]

Hi, Peter, it's me, and I just don't
want to be in a fight with you right now.

I don't want to be mad.
I don't want to be anything.

I just want to be happy.

So, I'm sorry if I did anything bad
or was being an [bleep].

I don't know, whatever the problem was.
I love you. Goodbye.

[melancholic music continues]

[car engine revving]

What is this?

What's it say inside?

Hmm.

-[Melissa] Is it bad?
-No, it's not bad.

-It's good.
-[Julie] Who's it from?

It's from Peter.

[Kelley] I think I definitely believe
that there is nobody

that can penetrate me.

Peter's made me realize that

I don't have to be
completely strong all the time.

[Kelley] Hey, Danny.

You're the only person
that I can share with.

What?

[Kelley] I don't want to just jump in

and say something
until I know I believe it to be true.

And now I know.

[Danny clicks tongue, sighs]

Isn't that sweet?

I think she's going to stay behind
to be with Peter,

so it just shows that their relationship
is pretty serious.

[upbeat music playing]

[Peter] Have you told your mom
your wishes?

[Kelley] Yeah, I told everybody

'cause I can't make up
my own mind... to do anything.

I'm probably the most indecisive person
I have ever met in my entire life.

I can't think, I can't talk to people
'cause it just frustrates me so much.

-[Peter speaks indistinctly]
-Why do you have to be so perfect?

Why can't you just have
something wrong with you

that I could... that... that was legitimate?

I wouldn't be able to stand
being away from you.

Yeah, I think about him in my life...
forever, maybe. Oh, God. [chuckles]

Oh. That's hard. Whoo!

-Are you sure you want to be with me?
-[chuckles]

You really think you could
put up with this stuff? [chuckles]

No, I'll stay. Okay?

-[smooches]
-[smooches]

-Really?
-Yeah.

[soft music playing]

[inaudible]

[Kelley] I'm jumping in headfirst
and it feels great.

-Are you happy?
-[Peter] Real happy.

[upbeat song playing]

[Julie's mom] Hey, you want to walk
up the street and I'll buy you dinner?

All right.
You want to do a little alone time?

[Julie's mom]
A little mommy-daughter time.

-Can we do that?
-That'll be good. It'll be good.

I think the time when he first realized

that maybe relationships
needed work was...

And... and it's a shame it took this long...
Was when you left to go to college.

-He was, at moments, almost devastated...
-[Julie] Mm-hmm.

...and I think it's because
for the first time he realized,

"Gosh, it takes work
and maybe I should work at it more,"

-and I think he is trying.
-Yeah.

[Julie] I don't know
exactly what I can do.

I guess I just have to be tolerant.

See, this is how he sees it,
that it's a guarantee of happiness

and it's a guaranteed good life

-if you'll follow this one way.
-[Julie] The thing is,

he doesn't understand
that happiness is relative.

-With that life, I would be miserable.
-[Julie's Mom] I know.

He needs to let go and just understand
that I'm an independent woman.

[hopeful music playing]

[Julie] You live for so long thinking

that everything about your parents,
everything about your family is perfect,

and... you... you see no wrong

and then you go through a time
when maybe everything is wrong

and you're rebelling
and you just can't find anything good,

and it's this medium ground.

You can love them for their strengths
and their weaknesses.

I would be all for having
an equal relationship

where my father could respect me
as an independent woman.

That's going to require him letting go
and letting me live my life.

-I'm making a mud pit tonight.
-[overlapping chatter]

Whether it's utilized tonight,
that's to be determined,

but I'm building it tonight.

When I get around Alan
and those boys in that band,

I get crazy stupid.

We don't have a shovel.
How are we gonna build it?

Yeah. We can makeshift.

One, two, three!

-Ow! Oh, my God!
-[chuckles]

Ah! Okay, it's coming.

Okay. I can't believe we had to siphon it.

Oh, there it goes, there it goes.

[cheering]

[Julie] Go, MacGyver! Woo-hoo!
This'll be the best mud pit ever.