13x02 - Unrequited L'amour

[bunniefuu]

Unreal.

Hi!

I'm so glad to see you, man.

Hi, I'm Allen.

Hey, there.

I'm Adam.

Adam, nice to meet you, CT.

Christina, nice to meet you.

Has Christina washed the door?

I just think she's on fire.

This place is fantastic.

She's got a body.

Oh, my god.

Christopher, he's a total gentleman.

He is always willing to step out and say,

what can I help you with?

You throw yourself at him, and you

don't have an iceberg's chance in hell with Ace.

C'est une histoire brés of seven strangers.

Pigs to live in France.

In a chateau.

Work together and have their lives changed.

Found out what happened.

People stopped being played.

Where you on, dog?

It's not getting real.

The real world, Paris.

Paris.

I've never had to deal with anyone like Adam.

I have before, and I've just always cut people like that out of my life.

So, Adam.

There's sexual tension between Christina and Chris because I think she's a little more into his body.

PP has a really nice body.

Probably the hottest guy in the house.

I would rather have Bruce Lee than Arnold Schwarzenegger any day.

The bigger the better, right?

Not necessarily.

It depends on what you're talking about also.

I would rather have 10 minutes of like complete undivided attention rather than 10 minutes of

I worked out really hard today, baby.

Can you see it?

You gotta get in on this.

I'm feeling okay.

Minus 10 pounds to get the listening that you need and the brain stimulus, then fine.

All you guys care about is what?

Is what?

It's freaking the b----.

It's all you guys care about.

I think Tina's a lot wilder than she claims to be.

I honestly don't think that she's going to be able to sleep in that bed alone for four and a half months.

Someone who makes you breakfast every morning the way you like your eggs, that is love.

Someone who knows how you like your eggs every morning and doesn't like their eggs that way

but will cook their eggs the way you like your eggs.

You are not going to break up with a guy who's a b---- date for an egg at the top.

I'm getting out of sleep now.

If you know how to make my eggs in the morning, I'm sure you know how to do everything else.

Hello?

Hey.

What are you doing tonight?

What time is it then?

Just kind of hanging out.

What's up with your roommates?

Do you like any of them or what?

I get along with them all.

What about the females?

Are you looking at one, two, all?

I think one of them is kind of digging me.

She's from Vegas.

She's got the dog hair.

She's a hot girl.

She's got the frame that I like.

Do I think I'd have a shot at her if I wanted to?

I'm a confident person.

You know what I mean?

I think if I was sincere, who wouldn't like me, right?

We were talking about sex and commitment.

We were talking about how a guy treats you.

Like, you know, he makes me an egg sandwich in the morning.

You're not going to dump some guy who's going to bed because he can make you an egg sandwich.

I was like, if you f---- face off, you're not going to pass it up for an egg muffin.

I'm sorry.

And then one of the girls in the back was like,

Oh!

Yes!

Regardless!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

I don't want to see anything I got you wore.

I need a club sandwich.

I would like a sandwich with chicken and fries.

Sandwich with chicken.

And um…

Just can I get a plain with cheese?

A coke to drink?

Coke.

I don't really think anyone's making too much of an effort to try and speak the language.

Which I see as being slightly ignorant and a bit rude as well.

You're a foreign country, you don't speak a flick of the language.

Make it as easy as possible.

I don't have one.

Plain with cheese?

Is that crazy?

This is the hardest sandwich I've ever had in my life.

I'm going to have to go see a dentist every time I eat a lunch.

I miss American food so much it's k*lling me.

I miss Walmart, I miss Waffle House.

Is the $4 Coke?

The Coke was $4?

How do you say unhappy camper in French?

I want to go home!

I just hate it here.

I hate everything.

I hate French people.

I hate French language.

I don't like these little cars.

I like big SUVs.

I think Ace is hilarious.

He makes me laugh and that's very sexy.

And I hate you!

Can I come in?

Going into Paris, we don't know exactly where we're going.

We just know that, you know, we're going to Paris.

I don't know where to where.

Let me show you, let me pick something off for you.

Can I pick it off?

Tina needs a lot of attention.

You can tell just by the way she acts,

by the way she dresses.

So I'll give a little more attention, not a problem.

You wanna go to a good girl tonight or a bad girl?

You like bad girl, huh?

Don't need a reason to do the things that I do.

No need to impress you, just wanna undress you.

I really love your shoes.

Physically, I'm totally attracted to the T-shirt.

You look fantastic, Tina.

It's just hot, you know?

Flirting's fun.

I feel like I'm always flirting with her for some reason.

I'm ready to go, you know what I mean?

I got to tip my shirt and I'm ready to go.

All right, I'm gonna go.

What's this?

Let's have a yada.

I'm not really a big drinker.

Trying to hang with Ace, but I mean, I can't drink.

I mean, he does that for a living.

All right.

What's a straight vodka?

Give me some more.

I need another shot, bro.

I'm gonna make you a little.

That's half.

CT acting crazy is 100% my fault.

I'm the one that made him start drinking

at six o'clock in the afternoon.

You just took a shot of straight vodka?

So what?

My God, you took a shot of vodka?

I'm going crazy.

Woo-hoo!

Let's get out of here.

We need more at the train station, girl.

We'll meet you later.

You just gave me tonight.

I will take a shot of vodka.

I'm already drunk, Tina.

I'm already drunk.

I'm telling you, Tina.

Where are my players at?

Okay.

How will you do?

You guys better keep an eye on me.

I'm not used to drinking, though.

I'm such a lightweight.

Here, you guys, let's sit down.

And suddenly, five hours.

I'm beginning to realize that he,

he might be a little drunker than he should be.

I've never been this drunk in my life.

What's wrong?

You got it together, right?

All right.

I'm trying to keep CT as reasonable as possible.

Adam, Adam, Adam, Adam.

Take the other side.

CT is either really, really funny,

but then he starts getting really, really obnoxious.

There's no taking care of someone who's twice your size.

So I think Adam finally realizes

that he can't do anything about it.

How about we go in?

How do you feel about going home?

I'm gonna be a star student.

You know what?

Watch, I'm gonna go right through you.

Stop, stop.

CT, CT, come on.

Let's go.

Come on.

I don't like the city, I don't like traffic.

Man, I miss home.

Hey, Fritz.

We'll be okay.

Ace, Ace, Ace, Ace.

You're getting ran over.

Let me know.

I told you.

You know where.

Good morning.

Good morning, sleepy.

Tina tried to take care of me.

I thought she did a good job.

I feel like…

Why?

So I acted last night.

All is forgiven.

It's all good.

I think everybody should be taken care of.

And just take care of people like you would want to be taken care of.

I'm sure you'd forgive me.

I bet even friends would not hate me.

I need to go to the shop!

We got a package, guys!

Open it.

Plan your trip online.

Where are we going?

Where are we going?

Hold on, hold on!

Dear roommates, my name is Bryce and I am the publishing director for Frommler's Travel Guides.

We're hiring each of you to write and research the first title in a new travel guide series

planned for a winter 2004 publication date.

To assist you in your work, a weekly French lesson has been arranged for you at the Alliance, France, Saint-Étienne, Paris.

We're going to learn French.

We're probably going to get to travel to different places in France and then write about it.

I'm not really very excited about the job and I'm not really thinking I'm going to do a very good job at it.

You excited?

You excited?

Today's our first day of work and we're going to meet our boss from Farmers.

This is our work.

Well this is actually my first job, so it's a real big deal.

Going from never working to having such an important job is kind of scary.

My name is Bryce, I'm the publishing director for Frommers.

My role is I'm basically your boss.

You'll report to me.

In a nutshell, Frommers is actually looking at creating a new guidebook geared specifically towards a student age crowd.

And you guys are going to help us launch that.

You're going to find the coolest bars in Paris, and you're going to go there.

You're going to find the best clubs, and you're going to try to get in, and then you're going to write about it.

I'm over excited about the job experience and going out and having this opportunity.

I think the job is cool.

I'm thrilled at the fact that it's going to be published.

This is David.

He is the writer of our Unofficial Guide to Paris book.

David is going to be your day-to-day person.

He's there as a consultant.

I came to Paris pretty much at the same age that you all have.

The language is essential.

It's one of the reasons why Americans sometimes say,

God, what an unfriendly place.

So everything is in understanding the smallest nuances of the culture.

That's really how I approached writing guidebooks.

Because once you understand that, and you figure that out, then you're miles and miles ahead.

You've been in Paris about a week now.

Is that about right?

Tell me what you think so far.

We're going to start with you.

My name is Ace, and I am from South Georgia.

I'm an American, true and true.

I love America.

I want to see the Eiffel Tower, but I'm not really too awful crazy about it.

Are you interested in what Parisians think about Americans?

I really don't like Parisians so far.

I'm just really used to my American culture that I just love more than anything in the world.

I think I'm out of my element more than anybody.

I mean, they're all from huge cities.

I'm from a little bit of town.

That's pretty interesting, because it's often Americans that have a hard time in Paris,

or often Americans who have a hard time in New York or L.

A.

So far, it's not a very good experience for me.

You hear someone say, I'm American, it's the culture I love best,

and that's the only culture that really matters, and I don't really like it so far.

Like, Parisians already put the other person on defense, and it's unfortunate, because it's not their fault.

I don't know anything about the culture.

Maybe that's what I hate.

I'm just trying to blame it on Paris for my own stupidity.

I'm really excited.

I can't get over how absolutely perfect this is.

I want some American food, bro.

I'll tell you what, I'm only going to try to apologize to Leah once.

My aggression, my anger, my frustration was all building up, and she just happened to get in the way of it.

It wasn't my place to tell her that she's not going to hook up with Ace.

It didn't quite come out right what you wanted to say, and then she didn't quite take it right what you meant to say,

and then just blew up.

I think it'll be all right.

I didn't notice really much attention at all today.

Yeah, she got this new job now, and she's excited about it.

Well, she's excited about the job.

It's all pretty cool.

I'm terrible at it, Paul.

Okay, that looks good.

Maybe a little too much, but I mean.

What if it doesn't?

Oh, it's a good shot.

You know, when I'm with teenagers around, I get a little happier, you know what I mean?

I get a little smile on my face, and a little bit more calm.

Do you know how I like my eggs cooked?

I'm very particular about how I like my eggs.

I like my eggs three egg whites, quarter egg yellow with Pam, and a little salt, and hot sauce.

How many people do you think know?

I don't tell everybody about how I like my eggs.

I feel like she's almost telling me to be the guy that makes her egg correctly, you know what I mean?

I want you to make an egg for me right now, matter of fact.

I want you to make an egg for me.

Why should I make an egg for you?

No, your egg, the way you like it.

I don't think you're going to be able to get a quarter egg yolk out of three eggs.

Quarter egg yolk?

I'm going to do it.

Are you watching?

Are you paying attention?

How long do you think it takes to be with a girl to figure out the way she likes her eggs?

She doesn't do this for anyone else, because that's what she's telling me.

She's giving me like a step-by-step manual to get to her heart almost.

Watch.

Oh, that's definitely more.

That's like half.

That's almost half.

That's at least 40% of the egg yolk.

This isn't hard to make at all, right?

But it's very attentive and it's very detailed.

Who are you going to pick?

Guy who has a great leg, cooks a good egg.

Cooks a good egg.

The other guy loves you just as much, cooks a great egg, and he's a good egg.

Great egg.

And he's a good egg?

It's a great egg.

I don't believe you.

Because a great egg is harder to find than a great leg.

Taste this egg.

Put that egg down.

Don't drop my egg, please.

Don't.

You know what I'm saying.

You like to argue.

But you know what?

Come here.

What?

Take the egg.

That's attention to detail.

See?

The relationship between CT and I has grown and we've bonded.

I've been practicing that egg, so just in case I ever need to make it.

Today is our first day of French class,

and I'm so excited to learn French.

I can't wait.

How are we?

Going to class.

School is good.

Off to school.

To tell dad that I'm not a fool.

I took French for two years in high school,

and I didn't learn anything.

So I'm really not gung h*.

Merci bien.

Did you say merci bien?

Merci bien.

Isn't it merci bea-who?

You can say it again.

Oh, you can?

It's like the cool, like the kids say it.

Merci bien.

It's like me going to an English class in America,

and y'all saying, hello, Brandon.

He's like, hello.

But I'm like, what's up?

That's what I'm learning.

That's what I'm learning on the streets.

It's hot.

Hello, hello.

Yes, first thing, hello.

Nellie is our French professor.

I'm kind of happy that she doesn't speak any English,

because that's really going to try to get us to understand.

Hello.

No.

Hello.

Hello.

Yes, better.

How are you?

Yes, I'm fine.

What is your nationality?

I am French.

Who starts?

How do you call yourself?

No.

How do you call yourself?

How do you call yourself?

How do you call yourself?

How do you call yourself?

I like a bunch of first graders learning French.

It's really hard, but we're learning.

We're trying our best.

How are you?

I'm fine.

Fine.

How are you?

Fine.

Fine.

Thank you.

If you prefer, thank you.

No problem.

Finished.

Great.

Bye.

Bye.

It was fun.

By me not knowing anything about this country that I'm living in,

I'm just being ignorant right now.

I've decided I'm just going to give it the best shot I can.

I'm not going to complain anymore.

This is a good learning experience for me.

This is the first time I've been up to actually see a little bit of Paris,

and it was just unbelievable.

The city, it's really beautiful.

I'm not going to say another single soldier negative thing about France

because of the Grand Arcs.

Did you go there?

Did you go to the Grand Arcs of law defaults?

Do you remember now?

I'm a Paris fan from now on.

I'm not going to say anything negative.

I'm going to my French class every day,

and I'm not going to say another negative thing about France

because it was beautiful.

It's so good.

I love it.

As you chomp on McDonald's.

I haven't got quite used to the cuisine yet.

Call me Mr.

Belvedere.

That's a hell of a storm out there, bro.

Yes, yes.

Good job, man.

No, there's Tina.

She's gonna bring the suit up.

Yep.

Take champagne.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Christina knows what she has.

It's not fair the way she can play with guys' minds.

By the way, you look fantastic in that bikini.

There are 300 steps to my bed

and I've had too many bottles of wine.

I like your tattoo, fella.

Let me see the chicken.

I'll sit here and rest for a while.

Does it hurt right there?

Yes, of course it hurt right there.

And I wanted it to wear…

Let me see it again.

Let me see it again.

I didn't even look.

You didn't even look.

You know what I mean?

We're on the jacuzzi hanging out.

Christina and Chris are kind of hooking up.

The wine.

The wine.

The wine.

Don't blame the wine.

I'm looking at Chris.

He's very fun and he's very silly and he's very cute.

Who sleeps in my bed?

Tina's out of control in the jacuzzi.

We're getting drunk.

Blame the man who sleeps in my bed.

Blame the man who sleeps in my bed.

I need a big glass of water and an ice cream.

I'm going to tie it up.

but on the inside, I don't think he feels that way.

Cuddle in.

Huh?

Cuddle in.

You're sleeping?

I'm inviting you.

If I didn't live with Tina, I'd go for it and close the deal, but…

I want to try to have a stronger relationship with someone,

and just random sex.

Huh?

I said, we're here, we are, okay.

You can't, though.

I can't because love, love, love, love, love, love.

I know, I know.

You are love, love, love, love.

You are love.

I'm gonna walk home.

I'm gonna get you.

On the next Real World…

Mallory to me gets prettier every day.

I think I'm falling in love with her.

I really love Kate a lot, but I'm just getting weak.

I'm just so upset with this whole process because you're exposing me.

You have to make us proud, Mal.

I told you you weren't strong enough.

I know.

Oh, business.

Why are you so stupid?

Well, I'm so down.

So down.

All the way.

You make me feel good.

When I look at you, baby.

Ah.

Oh, business.

Why are you so stupid?