Did I just cut in line?
Bye, Caesar!
Thanks for all the salad!
Caesar:
Et tu, Uncle Grandpa!
[ Munching ]
Checkmate.
That's game,
Tiny Miracle.
You've beat me, Mr. Gus.
Good game.
Good game.
Sweet sassafras, Mr. Gus!
You bested a robot
at chess?
You're a real life
chess master!
Thanks.
[ Chomping ]
Don't mention it.
Hey! Anybody can beat
Tiny Miracle.
You ain't a real chess master
until you beat me
Pizza Steve
master of all things!
Wow.
All this time, we've been living
with a real life chess master.
Who knew?
You could probably beat me
pretty easy, huh?
I mean, it might take me
a couple of moves, but...
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, yes.
Well, let's you and me
play, then.
Loser has to run around
the block naked.
What? N naked?
Nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope, nope.
Do not have time
for this.
Unfortunately,
I've got a date
with Tiny Miracle to
teach him about arm bars.
Isn't that right,
Tiny Miracle?
I have no such event planned
on my Tiny Cal.
Man, how you gonna do me
like that, Tiny Miracle?!
Come on up here, lil' slice,
unless you're not actually
a real chess master...
[ Growls ]
All right, fine!
But I'm gonna waste you!
Okay, chess master,
your move.
[ Grunts ]
Man, this ain't T ball.
Quit playing around,
Pizza Steve.
I know, I know!
[ Sighs ]
All right.
Oh, no!
Sorry!
I slipped and fell!
We can't play anymore!
Oh, no need to worry.
This board is waterproof,
in case I ever get to play
poolside at the Montego.
[ Grunts, coughs ]
Oh, yeah.
I play there all the time.
Mm hmm, sure you do.
Now, what was it you
were gonna do again?
Waste me?
[ Grunts ]
Check.
Whoa!
You're about to beat
Pizza Steve!
[ Yawns ]
I'm actually kind of
tired, though.
[ Groans ]
I think I'm gonna
call it a night.
All right, fine.
But we're finishing this
in the morning.
And here's a little something
in case you need to brush up
on your chess rules.
[ Groans ]
"Chess 101"?
I don't need this.
And best believe I'm gonna
sleep out here tonight
make sure you don't
try nothing funny.
[ Groans ] Oh, what do you think
I'm gonna do,
swing line down all 007 style
and paint the pieces
a different color
to make it look
like I'm winning?
Yes.
Well, I'm not!
[ Snoring ]
Ah!
What are you doing?!
Huh?!
M Making a midnight snack!
[ Smack! ]
[ Grunts ]
You were trying to paint
the pieces
to make it look like
you were winning!
You disgust me.
Good thing
I came prepared.
Try getting through
this cheat proof glass!
[ Yawns ]
Good night!
[ Growls ]
All right.
Gotta think
of another plan.
Uncle G, what are
you doing here?
[ Trance like voice ]
What are you doing here?
Playing chess
what does it look like?
Now, please,
get out of the way!
Get out of the way...
What's gotten
into you, man?
[ Snoring ]
Oh.
Sleepwalking again, huh?
Sleepwalk.
[ Grunts ]
Get off me, bro!
Get...off.
Ah, that's better.
Now, go back to bed.
Go back...to bed.
Whatever you say,
Pizza Steve.
[ Snores ]
Whatever I say, huh?
Uncle G, wait up!
[ Snoring, muttering ]
Uncle G, what are you doing?!
Get up and keep walking!
Get up.
Keep wal king.
That's it!
You're my pawn,
like in a board game that uses
pawns as pieces.
Uncle G,
walk to the kitchen.
[ Snores ]
Walk like chicken.
[ Clucking ]
Walk to the kitchen,
you fool!
Walk to kitchen.
[ Snoring ]
Make a sandwich.
Hold on.
Make a "submarine sandwich."
Make "submarine sandwich."
[ Groans ]
Lettuce, tomato...
periscope.
Jalapeño pepper.
[ Laughs ]
[ Sneezes ]
[ Sneezes ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Sighs ]
Man:
And...welcome to Smooth Jazz.
Welcome back
to Smooth Jazz!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Up next is a classic
jazz standard.
[ Scatting ]
Uh, you okay?
Uncle G, cut it out, bro!
Cut it out, bro.
Whoa, all right,
all right.
You were just acting strange,
that's all.
Engage submarine sandwich.
Yeah, submarine sandwich.
[ Sonar beeping ]
[ Rapid beeping ]
Fire jalapeño missiles!
[ Slow motion ] Noooooo!
[ Buzzer ]
Huh? That's it!
If I can't destroy
the chessboard,
I'm going to have to destroy...
the entire RV!
[ Snoring ]
Walk...to c*ck.
[ Snores ]
That's it.
Now start the RV.
[ Engine starts ]
And turn right
on that bumpy road.
Dah!
[ Rattling ]
Uncle Grandpa,
what are you doing?!
Put the car in park!
Put car in park.
[ Tires screech ]
Whoa!
What are you doing?!
Drive, drive!
Drive, drive.
[ Tires squeal ]
Keep driving!
Keep driving!
Whoa!
Stop the RV!
Stop the RV.
Go, go, go!
Uncle Grandpa: Go, go, go.
No!
Yes!
No!
Yes, yes, yes!
No, no, no!
Yes!
[ Snoring ]
Oh, sh**t!
Oh, chute.
[ Groans ]
[ Gasps ]
Oh, no!
It's almost tomorrow!
Mr. Gus is going to make me
run around the block naked!
What am I gonna do?!
Think, Pizza Steve, think!
Think, Pizza Steve, think.
Maybe I'm going to have
to read this dumb book.
Ah, curse you,
Chester Masterson!
I wish I could
go back in time
and change the rules
of this book
so that Pizza Steve
is always the winner
no matter what.
This is it
this is the day
that everyone will find out that
Pizza Steve is a failure
a failure who can't play chess.
[ Sighs ]
Here it goes.
Well, well! Look who decided
to resume the game.
You better start peeling off
those pepperonis,
because you're about to run
around the block naked!
Let's just get
this over with.
It's your move.
Oh. Right. Uh...
Checkmate!
That's game, Pizza Steve.
Actually, according
to my calculations,
Pizza Steve is the winner!
What?! [ Laughs ]
Ah, but, seriously,
everybody knows
that the removal of an
opponent's king means a victory.
It says so right here.
Wha?!
I don't know how you got
away with this,
but I am a man of my word.
[ Grunts ]
Hello, everybody!
I'm naked!
[ People screaming ]
[ Yawns ]
Mornin', fellas.
Pizza Steve, I had the craziest
dream last night.
You were talking in my ear
and bossing me around,
and then you told me to travel
back in time
to rewrite
a book on chess.
Pretty weird, right?
Yeah. Weird!
[ Chomp! ]
[ Laughing ]
Okay, right this way,
Mr. Gus.
You sit right here.
Is this the photo sh**t
for next month's issue
of "RV Monthly"?
You betcha, Mr. Gus!
It's gonna be a doozy!
How long on hair and makeup for
Giant Realistic Flying Tiger?!
Call time's in three minutes!
Okay.
Thanks again for taking the time
to do this, Pizza Steve.
We know you're a busy man.
[ All grunt ]
Who put that cord there?
I did, sir.
You're fired!
Right this way,
Giant Realistic Flying Tiger.
Watch the cord.
Such beautiful hair,
Giant Realistic Flying Tiger.
Your hair looks great!
Ugh!
Right this way, Belly Bag.
Glass of water
for your troubles?
How long on
Frankenstein's wardrobe?!
Call time's in two!
Did we ship the promo art
to Bangladesh?
Right this way, Tiny Miracle.
We're going live in five!
Right this way,
Frankenstein!
Four, three!
Hurry!
Get in the picture,
Uncle Grandpa!
Two!
Oh, no! Wait for me!
One!
Oh, no!
[ Camera flashes ]
Nice! [ Giggles ]
Man, we're never gonna get
our picture in "RV Monthly."
[ Roars ]
[ Theme music ]
That was quite delicious.
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05x19 - Chess Master Steve
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Uncle Grandpa is a magical shapeshifting person that stops by children's houses every day to see how they are doing.
Uncle Grandpa is a magical shapeshifting person that stops by children's houses every day to see how they are doing.