08x05 - Unfashionably Late

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on

"The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills"...

- Come on, we are in Tokyo.

This is a place where you
can have absolute fun.

- Whoo!
[laughter]

- After this, you guys
have interviews.

- Thank you.

- And then we're gonna
see you at the party.

- Thank you. I know. Thanks.

- We're gonna see you
at the party.

There's a sense of sadness
that they're growing up.

They're not my babies anymore.

- My wish came true
when I met you.

You know, I'm here today

because of the support
of my husband.

- Are you ready?
- I'm ready, my love,

just by the skin of my teeth.

- Have another drink.
- PK's saying...thank you, Ken,

for putting your 2¢

in and always trying to get me
as drunk as I possibly can.

Camille,
you're a stupid [BLEEP]!

[upbeat music]

- In this town,
fame and money come and go,

but friends should not.

♪ ♪

- Some people call me cold.

But that's not ice...
it's diamonds.

♪ ♪

- I believe in
excess of everything,

except moderation.

♪ ♪

- Having the best
isn't important to me,

but being my best is.

♪ ♪

- I don't have to buy it,
'cause I already own it.

♪ ♪

- The queen of diamonds

always has an ace
up her sleeve.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Dorit, I'm making
you espresso.

- Thank you.
You are a love of all loves.

- Little energy boost.
- I really feel like I need

an uber caffeine boost
for this swimwear meeting.

Are we all prepared?

- We are all prepared.
- Before I met PK,

I had my own swim line
for five years called

Dorit International.

I sold all over the world.

I was on the cusp
of going to the next level,

and then I met PK,

and he wanted me to let
go of the swimwear company

so that we could
start a family.

And that's what I did,

and I would not
take back a single day.

Hello, my lovelies.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Who does not have a doorbell?

- Now here I am
five years later,

and I'm ready to pour my soul
back into my new line.

Oh, my lovelies,

so I've been
working on the designs

and sketching and working
on ideas the last few months,

and I know, because it's been
pouring out of me,

that this is going to be
a k*ller collection.

- Can we see some of
your designs

so that we can get a feel...
- Definitely.

- For where you're headed?
- Definitely.

- Gorgeous.
- I'm really

essentially
starting from scratch

'cause I'm not re-launching
Dorit International.

I am launching Nava Swimwear.

- Ooh. Where did
the name come from?

- So Phoenix's
middle name is Nava,

and "nava" means "beautiful"...

- Aww.
- That's so sweet.

- In Hebrew.
I mean, aside from the fact

that I think it rolls
off your tongue...

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

- Nava Swimwear, it's got such
sentimental meaning as well.

- So you've talked to PK,

and he's happy to have you
jump back into it?

- He was very, very,
very on board.

I'm the creative side,
and PK's the business side.

He's the big picture guy.
I love working with him.

I do.

I want to launch it,
ideally,

for Resort 2017.

- Oh, that's so soon.
- The pressure is on.

If I want
an early spring/summer launch,

I need to act now,

or I'm gonna have to wait
a whole other year.

- You have big expectations.
- Oh, I know.

I know, but that's the way
I run my life.

♪ ♪

[both smooching]

- Go show your mom.

- You're gonna be in charge of
Poppy, okay?

- Okay.
- Give me a kiss.

I'll be right back.

You guys stay right here
to play Trolls,

'cause I think
I'm gonna win when I come back.

- I want you to stay here.

[wails]
- Aw, baby boy.

Anyone that has kids knows that
to make plans with your friends

and schedule your kids' lives
takes effort.

Every time
I'm away from the kids,

they cry when I have to leave.

Of course it makes me sad.
Bye, baby.

Ooh.

Why you got to
freeze me all the time?

♪ ♪

- I feel like the line has got
to be a reflection of me,

and I feel like red...
- Yeah.

- Fiery red and hot pink.

- Yeah, red is having such
a moment right now.

- Such a moment.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, how's it going?

- Good, thanks. How are you?
- I'm good.

I'm Zach, and I'll be
your server for the evening.

Can I get you
something to drink?

- May I have an ice water
with lemon

and a...do you have prosecco?

- Yes, we do.

- A glass of prosecco.
- You got it.

- Thank you.
- All right.

- Dorit invited me to go
to drinks with her at 4:00,

and I'm always punctual.
It's a respect thing. Thanks.

From a very young age,
I was taught that being on time

is something to do to show
that you're interested

and that you care
about something.

- Okay, thank you, my darlings.
- So exciting.

- I know, I'm so excited.
- So exciting.

- I'm so excited we're all
a part of this.

All right, my loves,

thank you for helping me
build my empire.

[plodding music]

♪ ♪

- If I wanted to sit alone
and have a glass of wine,

I would have done it in the
comfort of my own damn home.

It's 48 minutes later,
and she's still not here.

I don't think
she's around the corner.

I'm out.

- Are you doing all right?
- Sorry, is there any way

I could just get the check?

I don't think
my friend's coming.

- Okay, yeah, sure, of course.
- Cool.

Thank you.
- Uh-huh.

[phone ringing]

- Hello.

- Teddi, my love...
- Are you alive?

- I'm alive. I'm barely
functioning, but I'm alive.

No, I'm so, so, so sorry
to keep you waiting.

I was on the phone overseas,

and I couldn't get them
off the phone.

I was laser-focused
in my swimwear meeting,

as I happen to be
every time I'm in a meeting.

When I realized the time,
I barely grabbed my purse,

and I ran into the car.
When she was ringing in,

I was on the phone in the car
on my way to Teddi,

and as soon as I hung up,
I called her.

- I'm not
an electronical wizard,

but I'm pretty sure
you can be on a phone call

and send a text.

- And it's something
that's so important

with regards to the swimwear.

I've got serious
tight deadlines.

- No, I totally get it, but,
like, you could have, like,

shot me a text
and just been like,

"I'm not coming,"
'cause I got a sitter,

and, you know.

It is what it is,
but I...I have to run now

because, you know,
I want to spend time

with my kids tonight,
but next time.

- Okay, well, I was...I thought
we had between


to get together, so...

- I've been sitting here
for over 30 minutes.

- I completely understand,
and I know...I know I'm late,

but I didn't even realize
what time it was.

- Are people really too busy
to send a text message

that either I'm running late,

I can't come, something came
up, I'm too busy? I don't care.

I'm not that hungry to
fricking hang out with Dorit.

Cancel it.

- If you've got to dash,
I completely understand.

I mean, I'm...I'm there.

I mean, I'm...
I don't even know.

How far away are we?

- About 15 or 20 minutes
in traffic.

- Yeah, I mean, I worry
about the traffic.

- Yeah, no, honestly...

- But I don't want
to keep you waiting.

- Yeah, no, it's no big deal.
We'll figure it out soon.

- Okay. All right.
I'm so sorry, Teddi.

I'm sorry again.

- It's cool. All righty,
talk to you later.

- Okay, bye.

- Thanks for the apology,
but to me

it's a different
kind of person

that doesn't even realize
they're late to something.

- Coming up...

- Someone just dropped
off this dog

'cause they found him
running on the street.

- Oh, I want this dog.

This looks like Ken.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Khloe.
[dog panting]

You guys, you got
to give me some space.

This has become the norm,
tripping over my animals.

I don't have swans;
I don't have horses,

but I still feel like
I have a little zoo here.

River, you don't need
to go on the treadmill.

Sit.

Sit.

Sientate. You got to get off.

Stormy, you got to get...
ow, hey, are you crazy?

Get off.

Portia,
you want a sandwich?

- Yes, please.

Stylish.

[phone beeps]

[line trilling]

- Calling Lisa Rinna.

- Okay.

- Hello.
- Howdy, partner.

- [laughs]
Hey, there.

- Look at Lisa Rinna.
- Hi, Portia.

- Look at Portia's hat.
- Oh, cool.

- That's the new logo.
- Hey, that looks awesome.

How's it going?

- It's going so well.
What about you?

You know, I really think it's
unfair that I'm back home now,

and you were in Tokyo,

and now you're in Canada
relaxing on the lake,

which makes me jealous.

- With Delilah
moving to New York,

everybody starts to scatter,

so this Canada trip,

it's the place that
we will all go back to,

so it will become
more of our, you know,

summer meeting place, I think.

- When are you coming back?
- Let's see, Monday

I'm gonna fly to New York.

- Oh, what are you
doing in New York?

- I'm gonna go co-host

with Ryan Seacrest.

I'll fill in for Kelly on
"Live with Kelly and Ryan."

I have quite a history
with "Live."

I got very close to actually
getting the co-hosting spot.

Regis actually told me
it was between me and Kelly.

He said, "Lisa, Lisa, I got to
tell you, you came close.

You came really close.
You got to know that.

You came close.
We love you here. We love you."

It's not very good,
but I love Regis.

- Okay, well, have fun,
and have fun in New York.

Say hello to Ryan Seacrest.

- I will.

- And we will see you back
in La-La Land. Bye.

- Bye, Portie.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Mwah!

Kisses.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- Come on, Schnook, this way.

No, behave yourself.

On the other side.
You're not driving, go.

Hello.
Come on, up, Schnookie.

Who have we got here?

Oh, you're so sweet.

We're gonna find you
a very nice home.

Yes, we are.

We've opened the Vanderpump
Dog Rescue Foundation,

and it has been a labor

but definitely
a labor of love.

- You got Rico?
No, that's Chico.

- Oh, Rico, Chico.
How are you?

- Good, how are you?

- We were going to support
this other organization.

- Baby, if you're gonna do this
and sponsor it and support it,

we've got to work on
having them adopted.

- And we decided to withdraw

because things were
a little sketchy, shall we say.

- We adopted ten dogs
this week.

- That really is fantastic.

- Laura's going to get, like,
three more tomorrow.

- I always want to take
the very high risk that we know

is imminent
they're gonna be k*lled.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I love having
the rescue center,

even though it is riddled
with emotional turmoil.

But every time we see a dog

that was maybe
otherwise gonna be euthanized

go to a good home,

it validates every reason
why we're doing it.

- Someone just dropped
off this dog

'cause they found him
running on the street.

- Oh, I want this dog.

This looks like Ken.
Doesn't it?

- It does look like Ken.
- It kind of does.

You should name it Ken.

- Oh, my God.
- Well, it's named Ken.

- It's named Ken.

- Why do I find him
so attractive?

A more handsome version
of my husband.

[funky upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, there.
- Hey, how are you?

- Good, welcome to
Hart and the Hunter.

- Thank you.

- I'm your server, Acolia.

Can I get you started with
some drinks,

maybe a coffee or water?

- Yes, I'm gonna do
the root renewal.

- Okay, sure thing.
- Thank you.

- There she is.
- Thank you.

- Good to see you.

- Nice to see you.
- I like your shirt.

- How have you been?
- I'm good.

I've been very good, just...

- What is that, beet juice?

- Beet juice, yeah,
going the healthy route today.

How was Tokyo?

- I had a great time.
It was nice to be,

you know, there and...
- I've never been.

- It was a whirlwind for sure.
Those girls are busy.

They have them really working,
which is nice.

- Right.
- And then watching, you know,

Rinna with them is hilarious.

- Oh, my God.
- And they cut her no slack.

- Your sex book, like,
taught me how to give head.

- Oh.

- Very precisely.

- And, you know,

'cause you have a crop
of girls yourself,

it's such a different
relationship,

but it is hilarious,
and I had a good time.

I really like those girls.
They're fun.

- They're really working
hard, huh?

- Yeah, they are,
and they're doing well.

- Can I get you guys
started with something?

- Yes. The kale salad's great.
There's an avocado toast.

- Yeah, that's fine.

Let's...let's start with
the salad and the toast.

- Sure.
- Thanks so much.

Thank you. I told you I have
two other shows in development.

- Yes.
- So I'm actually, after this,

going to meet
with some networks.

- What are the new shows about?
Are you allowed to say or not?

- They're about...like,
inspired by stories again,

so we'll see, get myself
in more trouble.

You know, anytime I have
an idea, I'm thinking,

"Uh-oh, my sisters, they're
gonna get upset about this."

- Thank you very much.
- Absolutely.

- But listen, you know,

a lot of crazy things
have happened in my life,

so I have a lot of stories
to tell. What can I say?

- So Tom got in a car accident
by our house

and broke his ankle.
- Oh, my gosh.

- And so he's gonna
have to have

a little surgery to have it,

you know, put back together.

- Breaking your ankle,
that's t*rture.

- He'll be fine.
He's just a big brat.

Tom is 78 years old,
but he's not a 78 78.

He's, like, a 58,
but still, it's easy

to fall into that panic state,

but that's not gonna serve
anyone at the end of the day.

- What happened?
Like, is his car still...like,

everything...
- He's okay.

The car's not okay,
but he's fine.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Coming up...

- It is what it is, but, like,

you have to say

is this person a friend?

[upbeat music]

- Hey, babe.

- Oh, there you are.
- I came right over.

By the way, this jet lag
is so real.

The Tokyo jet lag, I mean.

- Of course it is.
- Oh, my God.

I'm, like, feeling a little
bit normal right now.

- You know what's crazy
about the jet lag is that

it doesn't...you feel it
till three days later,

so you come home, and you go,
"I've mastered it."

- Right.

- And then all of a sudden...
- You feel like sh...

- Right.

Mr. Gerardi had an accident
and broke his ankle,

a car accident.

He's fine.

- So we just got back
from Tokyo.

When...when did you
get this call?

- Like, right after
we got home,

close to home, by the way.

- Oh.

- So thank God, so that was
fine, but then, you know,

it's just...and it could have
been so much worse, but...

- I'm sure a million things
probably ran

through your head
at that moment.

Like, he got in an accident,
like, what kind of accident?

Where? What?
Like, so many questions.

- Yeah, and it's just...
it's been a lot.

- Yeah.

- But it's okay.

I mean, you know,
these things happen.

- I know.

- It could have been worse.
It could have been worse.

People have had much
worse accidents.

But for the first time
I had to check myself.

And I thought, "Hmm, one day
you're gonna be here alone.

Can you take care
of this place?

Are you gonna be able to stand
on your own two feet?

Is your life gonna change?"

Sh..., this could be
taken away at any second,

and things could change
at a moment.

It was the first time
I've seen Tom, um...

Not superhuman.

- Right.
- And that kind of sucks, so.

Tom was in a lot of pain,

and this is a man that
doesn't like to acknowledge

that kind of stuff.
You know, he's older.

He's stoic, and I saw this
flash of just kind of fear.

I kind of think of Tom
as superhuman,

and in that moment
he was very, very human.

- Well, a broken ankle
is no joke.

- Well, and he's not,
you know, 15.

- Mm-mm.

- So I have been
dealing with that,

and that is a lot.

I've never
watched him sleep more.

I've never watched
his breathing more.

I've never watched his eyes
and his hands

and how he's feeling,
his pain threshold.

It's definitely scary.

The important part
is that he's okay.

- Yeah.
- Could have been a lot worse.

We have a clear plan, and...

- You know if you need anything
that I can help with, I'm here.

- Yeah, well no,
I would never...

- Not that, but.
- Can I tell you something?

I need you to
remain creatively...

- Just...okay, fine.

- I need you to remain
right over here.

- I got my orders.

- I got...I got my home life
nailed down.

- Okay.

- That's not gonna be
a problem.

Ugh.

[upbeat music]

[engine revs]

[siren wailing]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God,
am I gonna die here?

- Well...
- Possibly.

The first five minutes,
you may hate me a little bit.

But then...then you'll start...
Hi.

- Hey.
- How are you?

- Good, how are you?
- Good.

Adam, this is my friend Kyle.

- Hi, how are you?
- Hi, Kyle. Good.

- Nice to meet you.
- Really nice meeting you.

- Something Teddi and I
have in common

is that we like to exercise.

- So here we are.

- So when I look at Teddi,
who, you know,

used to be almost 200 pounds

and is, like, 110 pounds now,

uh, yeah,
I'm gonna do what she's doing.

- Oh, we got
a good group today.

♪ ♪

Take all the resistance
off your climber.

Great, twist it up.

- Which one's easier?
- Easier's to the left.

- I had it on the right
the whole...

Are you fricking kidding me?

This was on
the hardest setting?

If I don't leave here


I'm gonna be pissed off.

- Thank you all so much
for being here.

Welcome, my first-timers.
You were great.

- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

- You did way better than me
the first time.

- Well, you know, I've got
a few tricks up my sleeve.

♪ ♪

- I forgot how hot
it was right now. Whoa.

- I'm dead.

- You...honestly,
you did a really good job.

All right, Beaming.

- I have not been here before.
- Oh, I love it.

- Oh, I like this kind
of a place.

- Are you eating?

Are you just getting a juice?

- I'm gonna get, like,
a juice or something,

let food be my medicine.

Oh, I love this kind of stuff.-
Yeah, I know.

- What is this? 400 calories?
Jeez Louise.

What is this, a cheeseburger
and fries in a smoothie?

People don't drink 400 calories
in Beverly Hills, okay?

- That one will be good.
- It's 70 calories versus 400.

There we go, cheers.

- Cheers. Don't mind me

while I shove my face
for the next five minutes.

- I heard what happened
with Dorit.

She told me she was


but you...like,
she felt really bad...

- Well, obviously
she's not good with time,

because I'd been sitting
there for 54 minutes.

I don't know
if Dorit's trying to

cover up the fact of how late

she is or change the narrative
of what the truth is.

All I do know is, her story
doesn't make sense.

- So an hour?

- Yeah, and she still
wasn't there.

It's not like,
"Oh, I'm five minutes away."

I 100% wasn't gonna make
a huge deal out of it,

but telling your friends

and bringing it into
this whole big thing,

changing the timeframe,
that's irritating.

No matter how busy you are,
send a text.

- I know. She was saying to me,
"I felt really bad.

I'm, like, 20 minutes late,
and she...she ended up leaving."

It was something
like that, but.

- So, like...

- Did she just lose
track of time?

I don't understand.

- She said, "I was on a work
call," and here's the thing.

I get it. Like, if you have
work to do, then just say,

"No, I can't hang out.
Like, I'm too busy."

I...I could care less.

- Right.
- I'm sitting in a restaurant

when I've hired a nanny

to watch my kids
waiting for somebody

that didn't really
even think to say,

"Hey, I'm gonna be late."

It is what it is, but, like,

you have to say
is this person a friend?

- Coming up...

- Ken assaulted this woman.

- Assaulted?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Good evening.

Welcome to the Andaz
Fifth Avenue. How are you?

- Hi.
Is this where we check in?

- Yes, it is.

- Oh, cool.

- Pleasure having you,
Ms. Rinna.

Welcome.

- Wow.
- Please let us know

if we can make your stay
more comfortable, all right?

- Thank you so much.
- Of course.

- Thank you.
- Have a great night.

- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

- Thank you.

[line trilling]

- Hello.

- Hi. What are you doing?
- Sitting here after dinner.

The kids just came...out.

I think one of them
might still be here.

- Well, I've been getting texts
sent to me all day

that you're being mean.
Are you being mean?

- No, I'm being firm
because they left for dinner

while I was having
an investment meeting.

In the middle of the meeting
they just got up,

and they walked out
and got into their...both left

without telling me
where they were going,

and I said, "Wait a minute.
That's not right."

- That's right, Harry Hamlin.

You're darn right,
and you're in charge.

Harry's a tougher
parent than I am.

He would say
that I let the kids

get away with more
than he does.

- I'm determined to get
them in shape.

- It's hard to be a parent.

Every single day you're putting
out a fire. It's not easy.

- Anyway, I had Delilah do her
own laundry today, so.

- Good. She did it?

- Half of it. She didn't put
the stuff in the dryer,

and now her sheets are wet,

but, you know, they'll
be dry in half an hour.

Delilah? Delilah is here.

- Hello.
- Hi. How are you?

- How are you?
- Do you want to FaceTime?

- Sure.
- We all have been

fortunate enough

to have people in our lives

that help us
in many, many ways.

It doesn't behoove us if
we don't then say to the kids,

"Okay, you've been
well taken care of.

Now you have to do it
on your own.

I'm gonna send you out
in the world,

but I need to send you out
in the world with these tools.

Otherwise you're just gonna be,
like, "Ahh."

and I don't want
anybody like, "Ahh."

Hello, lovey.
Hi, gorgeous.

I heard you learned
how to do laundry today.

[laughs]

- Mom, I...that's so rude.
I know how to do laundry.

If you guys are here
to do it, like,

I might as well
take advantage of that.

- Well, excuse me, but we are
not gonna be there to do it,

and so that's what...
- You put it in the machine.

You put in soap.

You turn it on, and you wait,
and you put it in the dryer.

You turn it on, then you wait,
and you put it back.

It's not hard.

- I don't think it ever
helps anybody

to be taken care
of all their lives.

They have to learn, take out
the trash, do the laundry,

sweep the floors, clean up
your room, make your bed.

I know it all sounds
like of course

that's what
everybody should do,

but not everybody does it.
Bye, love you.

- Love you, bye.
- I got to go study my notes.

Mwah!

♪ ♪

- Hi, welcome.
- Hi, there.

There's gonna be two of us.

- Two of you?
- Yes.

- All right, this way.
Is this okay for you?

- Thank you so much.

- You bet.
- I think I'm gonna have

a spicy margarita.
- All right.

- Hello.

I am with that
foxy woman over there.

- I hear a cute,
familiar voice.

- Hello, foxy, foxy.

- Look at...look at your hair.
How do you do this?

You did not cut
your hair, right?

- I love to change my hair up.

I like fresh, new,
interesting, cool.

You're never gonna see me

with the same hairstyle
for 30 years.

- I ordered a spicy margarita
while I was waiting.

- Ooh,
spicy margarita sounds so nice.

I'll have one as well, please.

- Same one? You got it.
- Thank you. I feel...

- Did you ladies want to start
with guacamole?

- Yes, please,
that sounds great.

- Thank you. What would you
have done if you arrived here

and I left and said
you took too long?

- Oh. Can I just...sorry,

but can we please talk
about this for one second?

She texted me six minutes,

"I'm worried about you.
Are you okay?"

- I don't know exactly.

There was just a...you said
six minutes,

and she said one hour,
so I don't even know.

- At the point that
she's telling you

that she's waited nearly
an hour, that's unfair, Kyle.

It's just an unfair
recollection of the truth.

- How are you tonight?

- I was always
under the impression

we were meeting at 4:30.
That was always the deal.

I knew nothing
different to that.

I was late, but I wasn't
as late as she thinks I was.

- Right.
- So let me just

tell you something.

If you ever, ever, ever think
you're gonna be late for Teddi,

just assume that she's
not gonna wait for you.

- Noted.
- Her leaving

when I'm on the way
to meet her is a little abrupt.

Honestly, you can't wait
another ten minutes?

- Well, if someone was
an hour late, I'd never wait.

- That's what I mean.

- I would never wait an hour
for anybody.

- I wasn't keeping her
waiting an hour.

- If someone's 20 minutes late,
you can't, like, break

a friendship up
over 20 minutes.

Now 54 minutes...just kidding.
[laughs]

Last night I got
some really exciting news.

You know, I have two
other ideas for TV shows.

It looks like I'm signing
both of them on Monday.

- Signing them?

- Like, they're
buying the shows.

- [gasps] Kyle.
- Two big networks.

- Oh, I'm so excited!

- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.

- Thank you.
- I'm so excited.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- I am going to cheer you on

like your own mother would.

- I'm sorry.
Is my makeup running?

- No, it's not.

What's going on, Kyle?

- Every time that, you know,
Kathy succeeded

in something or Kim or I did,

my mom would always say,
this was her expression,

"This is a feather
in all of our caps.

We're a team.

You know,
we all stick together."

My mom was always about that.

When I heard I've sold
two more shows,

it just didn't feel like
I could call my sisters

and say, "Guess what?
I sold two more shows."

I didn't know what reaction
I was gonna get,

and I just didn't want
to be let down by that.

And because I don't
have my parents

to share those things with,

I thought I'll just keep it
to myself for now.

Ever since "American Woman,"
it's not like it was before.

We did everything together,

talked every single day
ten times a day.

It's not like that.

My sisters and I used to
call each other every day.

You look so gorgeous.

- It's joy, bittersweet.
- You ready? You can do this.

- I'm not sure
I can hold this moment.

- Take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath.

- Okay.
- But after producing

"American Woman,"

it's changed. It has.

I just want to be able to

explain to them
that these shows

are inspired by my life,
not theirs,

because I don't want any more
problems with my sisters.

My family celebrates Christmas.

- Right.

- But I'm not
always invited now,

so it's like, you know.
- No.

- I wouldn't, like,

go with my husband
over to Kathy's.

My husband, for years,
worked for my brother-in-law,

and, you know, then he went off
on his own like people do.

- I have been approached
to create our own company,

and it's so difficult for me

to deal with that
because of family.

- That doesn't always work well
in a family dynamic,

and it can complicate things.

It just...

I mean,
I love my sisters a lot.

It's very complicated.

Is my makeup all over my face?
What happened to me?

- No. My God.

- Everything's falling apart,
Dorit.

[laughs]

- I'll let you borrow
my glam squad.

- Coming up...

- She's like, "I was six
minutes late, and she called,

and she was worried.
It's only six minutes."

- Six minutes late?
Was she drinking then too?

[upbeat music]

- Make it look not frizzy.

- That's the goal.

- I've co-hosted "Live"
mostly with Regis,

never co-hosted with Kelly,

and now I'm co-hosting
with Ryan.

Did you see what I was wearing?

Do you want to look
and see the color?

It's kind of a burgundy,

not that you care,
but I don't know.

What are you doing on me?
What colors?

- I'm doing...
- The browns?

- I'm doing Lisa Rinna.
- But big daytime Lisa Rinna?

- Yeah, right.
- Okay.

One of the days
I was on the show,

Kathy announced
she was leaving,

and I was teasing Regis
about being the next co-host.

- That's blended enough.
- Okay.

All right, let me get dressed.

Kelly was the perfect person
to get it,

absolutely the perfect one,

but I got really close.

So it's a place that
I always love to go back to.

First time I co-hosted
must have been 17 years ago

because I had not gotten
pregnant with Amelia yet,

and then I kept co-hosting,
and I kept coming back, so.

- Yeah, because they love
you at that show.

- It was so fun.

If I had gotten the job
with Regis,

our lives would be
very different today.

Harry said to me,

"I am very happy with
our life in Beverly Hills."

Ready?
- Yup.

- Let's do this.
- Ready.

- Then I completely just knew

that it wasn't right.

And in the end,
it always is family first.

- Kelly is vacationing.

Lisa Rinna is in
for Kelly Ripa.

- Hello!
- In for Kelly Ripa.

- Yay! I'm so excited
to be here.

- It's so great to see you.

I feel like I've
known you forever.

- You have.

[funky music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, Lisa?

I'm home!

- My naughty friend is here.
- Hello, baby girl.

- Does that shirt...
- A whole day.

- Come any bigger?

- I think this is
the smallest size.

- What have you got
under there?

- Hot pants just in case
I bend over.

Exactly.

- It's not that sort of date.
- I know.

♪ ♪

- Look at these gorgeous...
- Hello.

- Oh.
- California girls.

- Hello.
- How are you?

- Good to see you.
- You look great.

- Hi.
- How are you?

- So I think we might have
to order

instead of waiting for Lisa
only because she's delayed,

and she's flying in
from New York.

- Now you guys finally get
to talk because you guys were

on opposite ends of the table.

- I couldn't hear anything
at your dinner.

- Have you talked to Dorit?

♪ ♪

- Ooh.

- It's, like, nice and
air-conditioned in here.

- Guess we can sit anywhere.

- Oh, my goodness.

- Yes.
- Welcome. Nice to see you.

- Hello. How are you?
- I'm fine.

How are you doing today?

- Good, thank you.
- Good, good.

- I'll have a glass
of sauvignon blanc.

- Can I have chardonnay,
please?

- All right, thanks.

- Okay, what about the having
another baby thing?

- You know what?
- That's not why

you're wearing that shirt?
You're not up the duff already?

- I think I am swaying
towards not doing it.

It's our businesses.
We're so busy. It's like...

- But if it happens,
it happens,

but don't try
and make it happen.

- No. I've got two toddlers
at home plus PK,

plus I'm launching
a new swimwear line.

I'd be nutso to throw
another baby into the mix.

- Okay, well, cheers, big ears.

- Cheers, baby.

- So you had dinner with Kyle?

- I always have a laugh
with her, but then...

- She is. I mean...

- She is a lot of fun, but then
she actually got very upset,

and I feel really upset
even thinking about it.

- I've briefly spoke to her.
Was it about her sisters?

Was she really, really upset?

- Really upset, Lisa, like,
really sobbing, sobbing.

- What did she say?

- She had some really great
things happening to her,

and beca...

- She wants to share it
with them

because she doesn't
have her mother.

- She's...exactly.

he doesn't have her mother.
She doesn't have her father.

- For me, that's surprising
that she's gonna be that...

not just that upset

'cause I've seen her
being that upset,

but she doesn't know
you that well,

and to kind of be
so open about it,

normally she's not like that.

Like, with me
she has over the years,

and I've seen her pain,
and I've seen the struggles.

- Kyle and I have
actually...we've gotten closer,

and I feel like her
and I really kind of bonded

and have this connection.

- So I'm surprised that
she was so kind of vulnerable.

It doesn't surprise me
that she was upset,

but it surprises me
that she would be

so overwhelmed
with emotion with Dorit

because she doesn't
know her that well.

Have you seen Erika or Teddi?

Are you okay?
Everything's good?

- I haven't seen Teddi.
- Yeah?

- And to be honest with you,
I'm a little bit

put off by her right now.

- Teddi?
- Yes.

- I haven't talked to Dorit,
so...I mean,

I have to be perfectly honest.

I'm not irritated, really,
that she was late anymore.

- I am.
- But I'm...

- Just going for it.
I am.

- I am irritated that she told
you the story...that she lied

and said it was 20 minutes.

That's what bothers me.
- What story?

I'm...I don't even
know about this.

- Well, that...we were supposed
to have drinks at 4:00.

- It's, like,
a little after 4:30,

and I'm supposed
to meet her at 4:30.

- At 4:36 I text, "Hey, babe."

- "Hey, babe,
worried about you.

You still coming
to our drinks?"



- Then at 48 minutes
she finally calls and says,

"Hey, I thought we were meeting
between 4:30 and 5:30,"

and I'm like, okay, one,
we were meeting at 4:00.

Two, who gives a general

between an hour
at a restaurant?

- She seemed pissed,
and I said, "Teddi, I'm sorry.

Oh, my God, you've no idea.

I just came from
a swimwear meeting.

I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry."

I could not have
apologized more.

I said, "I'm on my way.
I can be there in ten minutes."

"I'm not waiting any longer.

I'm going home
to be with my kids."

- Have the decency to just say,
"Hey, dude, I'm running late,"

or, "You know what?
I'm too busy. I can't come."

I'm not that thirsty to, like,
hang out with somebody. Like...

- You're like,
"I'm not thirsty."

- You know what? I'm all right.

So, like, that's the part
that irritated me,

but I was like, you know what?

I'll get over it,
but then I met you,

and you're like,
"Oh, Dorit told me

she was 20 minutes late,
so you left,"

and that's when I was like,
"What the [BLEEP]?"

- Kyle tells me, "Oh, yeah,
I met Teddi for lunch,

and she said that you kept her
waiting 54 minutes."

Anyway, I just don't
like the fact

that she's just
exaggerating times

and making me out to be,
like, a...

you know, a real idiot
and a bad guy,

and it's like, Teddi,
come on, for crying out loud.

- Yeah.
- It was an accident.

- Yeah.
- It's not like I have

a habit of doing this to you.

- She's like,
"I was six minutes late,

and she called,
and she was worried.

It's only six minutes."

- Six minutes late?
Was she drinking then too?

Dorit's a bit self-absorbed,
if not a lot,

and a bottomless pit
of bullsh...

- No, she was in a meeting,
and she said to me,

"I feel so bad. I feel so bad.

I feel so bad,"
but I was like...

- Oh, okay, okay,
so she was stuck in a meeting.

She overbooked herself.

- And that's fine.
- But just don't lie.

- But then just say it.
Don't lie.

- Coming up...

Look at it
from her point of view.

She's got
her new boyfriend there.

- [gasps]
Oh, dear, oh...

Lisa, you don't think
that she's...like,

she thinks...oh, my God.

[dramatic music]

- I'm in a swimwear meeting
that was so freaking important.

Lisa, I've got such
strict time constraints.

You have no idea
how important this meeting was.

- I understand how important
that is to you,

but sometimes somebody else
might not understand

how important it is to you.
- But a friend...

- But a friend gives you
a break, yeah.

- Thank you.

- Would you like another
glass of chardonnay?

- Oh, no, I won't.
Are you gonna have another one?

- I'll probably sip on this.
- Okay, I'll check back.

- Well sh...oh, what's going on?

- This one's gonna
go right to my head.

I already had a couple of
glasses

of wine the other night,

and I can tell you, oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, are we talking
about when you called Camille

a stupid [BLEEP]?

- Oh, that was a stupid joke.

- At your dinner
the other night,

I bring David in
for the first time

to introduce him to everybody.

I feel like a girl
going to the prom.

- Hello.
- Hi.

You know, I'm nervous about it.

She says, "Camille, you're
such a stupid C-word."

- Camille,
you're a stupid [BLEEP]!

- I would have...

- I was very embarrassed,
and I was humiliated,

and I was embarrassed for David
and what he was gonna think.

- I don't think
it was about you.

I think it was the Dorit show.

- I think she just doesn't ta...

- I do think she tends
to talk a little too much

and maybe drink too much,
and sh...

just flies out of her mouth,
and she can't control it,

or she was just really drunk,
and it was just all about her,

and she's just really
desperate for attention,

so let's target Camille.

- Accusing someone of
drinking too much or, you know,

having an issue with that
is just something you don't do.

That's a very sensitive
topic in my family,

and that's something
I'm like, "No, no, no,

that's...mm-mm, not fair."

Even though
Dorit's not British,

I don't know if it's because

she's with PK,
whatever, like,

they don't take things
as seriously, maybe.

- Maybe the Brits joke
about things,

but I still think the C-word

is still hitting
below the belt.

- Yeah, even the C-word, like,
Lisa Vanderpump's British.

I don't think she'd like
to be called a stupid [BLEEP].

- If you said it to me,
I would say something back,

ditto or whatever I would say.

Camille might not
take it as a joke.

- I don't have an issue
with Camille.

She knows I don't.
- Well, I know that.

I know that.

- But I would think that she
would know it's a stupid...it's

a girl that's had
a few glasses of wine,

and I'm being silly,
and I'm being stupid.

I mean, obviously...

- Yeah, but okay, well, look
at it from her point of view.

She's got her
new boyfriend there.

- [gasps] Oh, dear.
- Oh, I'm just...

- Oh, God, Lisa, you don't
think that she's...like,

she thinks...oh, my God.

- No, I don't think
you meant it for a second.

- Oh, my God.
- She hurt my feelings.

It was inappropriate,
and it wasn't a great time.

- So she embarrassed you.
- Yeah.

- That's embarrassing, yeah.
- She embarrassed me,

but the C-word
is so...it's just nasty.

It's a nasty word.

- But also, when you're
with women...

- You can mess about with me
like that all day,

but sometimes people don't have
the same sense of humor as you.

- Well...

- And it can
get you in trouble.

- Thank you.
- She said,

"Camille, you can wear a..."

- A strap-on?

- Camille, would you put
the strap-on on?

- What, does she want
to be my b*tch?

- You're telling me
she doesn't have

a very good sense of humor?

- I'm just saying maybe
you need to say,

"Camille, the other night

I suddenly have this
recollection of me

calling you the C-word."

- Oh, God.
- Yes, Dorit, yes.

- Why do I just put my foot
in my mouth, Lisa?

- Because you put a lot other
things in your mouth, Dorit.

- Instead of getting a strap-on
for myself,

I'm gonna get her a gag.

- What are you gonna get her?
- A muzzle.

- A muzzle?
- A muzzle.

A gag is one of those ba*ls
they put in their mouth.

- Oh, a ball gag?
- She's into S&M stuff.

I'm gonna give her a ball gag.

- How do you even know what
that is, Camille?

[laughter]
Dorit talks a lot.

Dorit's mouth, it's just like

a tennis ball machine.

And I'm just like...
[mimics choking]

- Hello, ladies.
- Oh, hello.

- Hello.

- I am sorry
to keep you waiting.

- No, no, no.
You don't look like someone

who just got off a plane.

- Literally, I changed
in the car.

- We have a lot to tell you.

- Wow. I've been gone a while.

- How was the hosting
with Ryan Seacrest?

- Oh, my God,
I filled in for Kelly Ripa.

- I think that's great.
- Oh, you did?

- That's perfect for you.

- It was so much fun.
Thank you.

Okay, I got to talk
about something,

because there's a little thing
happening with Lisa Vanderpump

that I read in the news,

a little lawsuit
thing happening.

I know about it.

And allegedly something
happened with Ken and the woman

who ran the charity called,
I think, Spot On?

- Saving Spot.
- Allegedly

Ken assaulted this woman
somehow. I...

- Assaulted?
- I don't know

if he said...
threatened her,

threw her against a wall.
I don't know exactly.

- "Assaulted" means, like,
a physical thing, right?

- He touched her.

- So it's physical, right?
- He somehow...

- He would never do that.
- Touched her.

- Ken would never lay his hand
on a woman ever.

Ken assaulted her physically?
That's hard to believe.

- Next time
on "The Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills"...

- Lisa!

- See, it's fun.
[dog whines]

- I swear to god
I'm sexually aroused.

- I told you, my d*ck got hard.

- She's a really pretty girl,

and she's gonna have
lots of opportunities

to have boys clamor
all over her.

- She already does.

- Ken "pushed her."

- Why would she bring up
something that didn't happen

and then suddenly manufacture
it ten months later?

- Ten months later.
- Ten months later.

I did hear that you kind of

were mentioning
about my husband.

- You better believe
I'm gonna talk about it.

- I sat there for
one hour, Dorit.

- Okay, don't be
ridiculous, Teddi.

- To learn more
about the housewives,