15x09 - Landon & Leo

[bunniefuu]

- WOMAN: Previously on "The Real World"--

- Sarah bought about something dog hair genes.

Crazy, huh?

- Mel has a tendency to put her two cents in where

there's no cents needed.

- [indistinct chatter]

- Thinking that I may have a crush on Landon.

It's very scary for me, because I feel like I'm being unfaithful

to my boyfriend.

- SHAUN: Alright, well, I--are we done or what?

- If you're trying to be a hard-a*s right now, yeah.

Yeah, I guess you could say we're done.

Me and Shaun are officially right now on a break.

- ♪

- This is the true story--

- --of seven strangers--

- Oh my God!

--picked to live in a house--

- --work together, and have their lives taped--

- --to find out what happens--

- I'm over it.

- --when people stop being polite.

- Oh shut up.

--and start getting real.

- ALL: "The Real World: Philadelphia"!

- ♪

- [siren wails]

- SHAVONDA: Landon! - [knocking at door]

- What's up? - Come here!

I wanna show you something!

- Yes, what did you want to show me, Vonda?

- My book on erotica.

Thirty-five passionate tales of sex and seduction.

Being a prude, I am finding myself adoring these books.

I'm learning that I'm tapping into my sexual self.

Wait, I'm gonna read you one of these stories.

It's fa--it's quick.

- Right now, I'm definitely picking up, uh,

a little static on my radar about, you know,

as far as what Shavonda's feelings are for me.

And I can sense a bit of a crush.

- It's called "The Bounty of Summer."

Okay, just imagine, okay?

"It's the honeymoon suite.

"Though we're not married, just [bleep] like it's the only thing

that we'll do for the rest of our lives."

[laughs] "We stay in the water all weekend.

Brace myself on the edge while he [bleep] and we [bleep] and"--

- [moaning] - Stop, I'm reading!

- Can I lay next to you while you read this?

- [laughs] No.

Ew, don't simulate sex on me. - BOTH: [laughing]

- Can I tell you about my wet dream last night?

It's been way too long since I've had sex,

and--[laughs]--definitely feeling the heat.

I, uh--those stories don't help.

- --"at first apologetic."

- BOTH: [laughs]

- It's not my bag, baby.

- "He tells me to close my eyes."

- [laughs] - Listen!

- Sorry. - I know.

These stories are crazy--I told you about--

- I think that things are really close to breaking down

between Shavonda and I.

I think, ooh, pretty soon, it's either gonna go one way

or the other.

- [giggles] I feel like I'm not supposed to be reading this.

You ever like--I feel like I'm in trouble.

- Ooh, I feel like you should continue.

- [laughs] See ya later. - [groans]

- What are you gonna do with this?

- I don't know. - [laughs]

You look depressed. - I am depressed.

[laughs]

- He was on top of me like...humping me.

- Yeah, but that was before the story started.

- And then he was like, "Shavonda,

I need to have sex with you."

He just wants-- - He has to mate.

- --physically, yes, that's what I feel like

he just has to have sex.

He just wants to do it.

Landon is so...horny right now that he's looking for anybody.

I just like to see him squirm,

'cause he ain't getting nothing from me. [laughs]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

- Have had my stomach in knots ever since you read me

those stories.

- Landon needs to just do it. Do it.

His time clock is off, he's--

- This is the longest I've ev--went without sex

in like three or four years. - Hello.

- Something's gotta happen pretty soon,

because I'm gonna go nuts.

- What time is it?

- Time to get laid!

- See? You need to sleep with the boy.

He's gonna jump on you one day.

- Talking about me? - Oh yeah.

- ♪

- SHAVONDA: Landon wants me to want to see his wang.

[screams] - LANDON: [laughs]

- SHAVONDA: His face says it all right there.

I'm not -- looking.

- I didn't know what I was looking at. [laughs]

Was that--was that a little--little sausage?

- ALL: [laughing]

- I think Shavonda and Landon definitely play around

and flirt a lot.

And there could be something boiling under the surface.

- LANDON: Leave us along, Vonda.

- Landon, am I really not welcome in your guys' room?

- No, see, that's not gonna happen.

- SHOVANDA: I just like bugging you guys.

Oh [bleep] you, there ain't gonna be [bleep] happening

between me and Landon. Not gonna happen ever.

You're such a--every time I try to get--oh,

I kept his number, too. - I'm gonna wait for those--

- I was counting down today 'til they sleep together.

- Who? - Landon and Shavonda.

- I don't think it's like that. That's just my opinion.

- I don't think it's like that either.

- I think--

- I think for a while it might have been--

- I think she's a little alone, she's finding that from Landon.

- Yeah, but I don't think she's crossing the line,

and I don't think she will.

- I don't think she will either.

- ♪

- Where are the c*ck, Landon?

- Cheers.

It's a lot thinner.

- Well, yeah, 'cause it's all vodka.

- [laughs] I know.

Shavonda, will come out with us tonight?

- She's coming.

Vonda likes playing hard to get.

She's coming.

- I don't even know, I guess, I don't know.

- ♪

- I don't always like to do the things that the rest of

the roommates like to do.

I don't really necessarily like...big, crazy clubs.

- ♪

- Let's try to catch a subway.

Let's go!

So shady going to another g*y bar tonight.

- Believe it or not, Landon and I are going to another g*y club.

So we going to Pure.

- ♪ Here we are again

♪

♪ Here we are again

♪

♪ Here we are again

♪

- I don't drink martinis at all.

You know, I didn't really know how much was in a martini,

and glasses are deceiving, you know?

Yo!

- ♪

- I love Landon's personality when he's not drunk.

But when he drinks, he becomes like wild frat party boy.

- ♪

- No!

On the dance floor, I feel threatened,

because when Landon's drunk, he just doesn't know

his own strength.

And he's liable to drop me.

- I thought we were gonna dance, but that's fine.

- No, the only reason is because you throw me around,

and I don't know which way is up.

- Throw you around?

- I saw you do it with Sarah five minutes.

- Yeah, but I haven't thrown you around, did I?

- Yet.

- But that's fine, you don't wanna dance with me.

You want a neat martini.

- Huh-uh, I can't drink.

I'll be right back. - Stir it in.

Whatever.

- He's like trying to like fight me, and I'm like, "Stop it."

It's really annoying. - Getting annoying now.

- Who's fighting you? - Landon.

Won't leave me [bleep] alone. - He's drunk.

- That's what I'm saying, I'm like, "Stop, like let's dance."

"I don't like this music."

"Okay. Shavonda, I wanna dance with you."

- When Landon gets drunk, forget it.

- He becomes a whole different person.

- Landon doesn't act right when he's drunk.

He acts like a [bleep].

And it's starting to get really old,

maybe I don't like him as much as I thought I did.

- ♪

- ♪

- Do it, [bleep], do it, man!

- [horn honks]

- Shavonda?

- Landon is such a drunk.

- Yes, he is, and I'm tired of it, seriously.

- I've had like drinks, and look at him.

- It's--this is Leo in full form.

Leo is Landon's alter ego, um, when he is intoxicated.

- Can I please [bleep] Vonda?

- ♪

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Is this the same church we went by earlier?

- Stop!

- Landon. Landon!

- Hey. I have a question.

- I swear to God.

- I swear to God, is-- - Landon.

- Is this the same church we passed earlier?

- Landon, Landon, you got three other roommates that can

probably answer that.

Yes, honey, it's the same church.

Landon's drinking is just...not cool, and I can't handle it.

And...it went from annoying to being scary.

Say-- - I asked one question.

- Trust, b*tch. - It's just immaturity.

- LANDON: No, it's very immature. [laughs]

- ♪

- [bird chirping]

- Did you have fun last night? How do you feel?

- Um, I don't remember the walk home, but--

- Uh-huh.

- Up to that point, it was fine.

I've never like drank martinis before.

And I was just like drinking 'em too fast.

- [phone ringing] - How are you this morning?

- Somebody answer it. - Tired.

- I'm not answering it. - I'm rundown, man.

- I know, right? - I'm really rundown.

I'm staying home tonight.

For real, staying in tonight.

I went out by myself, and found some serenity

in this little bar.

And the bar's called Drinker's Tavern,

and everyone was so nice to me.

It just made me feel really good,

and I like to get away from, you know, the house and the people.

I had so much fun last night.

I had such a good night.

- What was the name of the place that you went to?

- I don't wanna say.

- [chuckles]

- It's my secret spot, and no one can go there ever.

- Mel has found a place that she wants to go...to get away

from everything, which is fine.

But don't make us feel like we're not welcome or we're not

good enough, which sure as hell isn't the case,

to go into this place.

Then you have your spot.

- And I want--none of you can ever go there, ever.

- [bacon sizzling]

- [indistinct chatter]

- And when I was able to approach like what I had as

an addiction--like it made me like--like wanna fight it,

you know? - Yeah.

- What was your addiction?

- Bulimia.

It was addictive.

I--one of my friends went--has been in and out of hospitals

since sixth grade from anorexia, so it's like--it's disgusting.

- I could absolutely never ever, ever,

ever do that to myself.

Like I don't care who's telling me I'm fat or what--

you know, like-- - Yeah.

- I could never like--I hate puking, first of all.

I hate it, it's disgusting--most disgusting thing in the world.

I love food.

- Something that I've learned is that you really don't have

a right to have an opinion on everything,

especially other people's actions that don't

affect you directly.

I hate throwing up, too, you know?

And I'm sure that like people who like are drug addicts don't

like, you know, sticking needles in their arm,

but it's not about that action.

It's--it's what you get afterward.

It's that sense of calm that you think you're getting from it,

you know? - Yeah.

- ♪

- We were talking about bulimia today.

And Mel was like, "I could never ever like blah, blah, blah,

like I hate throwing up so much."

I go, "Do you think heroin addicts like sticking needles

in their arms?"

And she didn't get it.

- It's a good analogy.

- It's true.

I love the girl, but she just--she literally--of anyone

I've ever met in my life, it's like--

- She's very one-sided. - Yes.

She can--she has such a hard ability to...even try to

even understand the way anybody else is.

- If they just talk to Melanie, they would realize why she has

sort of an abrasive tone.

It's not always coming from a hurtful or mean or malicious

or vicious place.

- ♪

- Did you get my emails?

- SHAUN: No, I haven't checked.

I'll check it as soon as I get to work.

How was your night?

- We just went to a g*y club that was really stupid,

and--it was just Ret*rded, and there was nobody there.

And I didn't get very drunk, and--

- SHAUN: It was no fun?

- Yeah. And then Landon got in my face last night,

and I almost hit him. - SHAUN: Why?

- Because he's [bleep], I'm just tired of it.

He's so stupid when he's drunk.

I--I'm just disappointed in Landon, because at night,

Landon is this horrible, horrible person.

I'm beginning to think that with Landon,

his drinking is now a problem.

It is a bona fide issue.

He's one of those like movie drunks where he's slurring his

speech and he walks like in crocked lines, and he's falling.

- SHAUN: He's just drunk.

- Stupid drunk, like obnoxious like just [bleep].

And I'm not having it anymore, because he can kiss my a*s.

But I'm just saying if I hit him or get him out of my face,

I'm going home.

- SHAUN: Don't punch him, please.

- Well, if he gets in my face again, I'm going to.

- ♪

- ♪

- [indistinct chatter]

- I'm far from home, and I'm not comfortable,

I'm not in my comfort zone.

I'm away from my family, my friends, my cat, Andy.

And out with the boys at Drinker's

is like a family, you know?

I was invited into a family the first day I met them.

- ♪

- ANDY: How you doing? - I'm okay.

I'm really wasted. - ANDY: Oh yeah?

- Yeah. - ANDY: Cool.

- I broke away from the rest of the crew and I went to my bar,

and I got wasted.

- ANDY: Whatever, do what you wanna do,

but don't make it a habit, you know?

Well, I'm gonna hit you back tomorrow morning, okay?

- Okay, baby.

Well, I have to--I'm going to the,

um--I'm going to volunteer at .

- ANDY: Alright, baby--

- They make me be a boy over there.

- ANDY: They make you be a boy?

- Yeah. - ANDY: What do you mean?

- Well, like I'm a guy's girl, you know?

So like, "Okay, take Jager, or take this shot, take this"--

- ANDY: Don't be stupid, Mel, you're -- small girl.

- Honey, honey. - ANDY: --wasted.

- Andy, I'm wasted to a point where I could fall asleep and

not barf, you know what I mean?

[vomiting]

- Mel? - MELANIE: Yeah?

- Are you okay? - MELANIE: Yeah.

- Huh? - MELANIE: [sighs]

I'm just a little sick.

- [toilet flushes]

- Are you gonna be okay?

- Yeah, I'm gonna be okay.

I feel better. - Okay.

- ♪

- Ew. Ew.

What are we gonna say?

'Cause we're late.

- We're volunteer. - I know.

- We don't need to be on time.

- ♪

- I hope they give me a job that I just have sit

with a dog or something.

- There is tension between Melanie and I,

but we--we are trying to work through it,

so that we can have a better understanding.

- ♪

- Let me guess, it's Melanie and Sarah?

- Yes. - Hi, I'm Felicia.

- We're so sorry, we got lost.

We got sick, everything.

- Are you okay now? - Yeah.

- Hi, little baby.

All my life, I have extremely loved dogs.

I just think it's important to find adoptable animals homes.

They deserve it.

- FELICIA: So now I gotta go back on the RV.

- Somebody adopted mine.

- Aw.

There's a lot of prospective people for mine.

- Yeah.

- I'm dying. - Me too.

- I feel bad, I'm too hungover, I haven't been much help.

- They have a lot of volunteers.

- They do.

- That's why I like--I'm telling you,

if you don't feel good-- - I know.

- --I wouldn't argue with you about going back

and sitting in a cold tub.

- ♪

- I don't know much about Melanie's past based on

the little information I know.

I think that she's had to be a really strong person.

Can you explain to me--I mean, you don't have to if you don't

want to now, but like--like your adopted--like adoption story.

- Well, I was born to a lady

that was and her boyfriend.

And her boyfriend didn't wanna give me up--

my dad didn't wanna give me up.

So I was in foster care when I was a baby

for the first six months.

My mom and my dad--Bob and Pat--were waiting for me--

my adopted parents.

And la-di-da, had a normal kid--well, like happy life,

whatever, like my mom was crazy, but--

We all have things in our past that are gonna affect how we...

associate with people and talk

to people and interact.

And, you know, I've been saying it myself that I have perfect

friends, and perfect family, and perfect life back in Santa Cruz.

It's all because I appreciate it so much,

because of what I've come from.

When I was about --I mean, it had gotten

really bad by that point.

Like they would fight all the time,

like we would--me and my sister would cry all the time,

you know?

Pat had hidden us in a closet.

And me and my sister, um--we were like waiting in there,

crying, we didn't know what was going on.

The cops had to come and get us and take us away from her.

I mean, when you're five, you just don't understand anything's

going on, you know?

- I vent about Melanie a lot.

But that's because she makes judgments about my life.

But I think that Melanie and I have really formed a strong

respect for each other.

- It's something in my past, I went through it,

I'm stronger for it.

And whatever, you know?

- ♪

- [horn honks]

- ♪

- Ready? - SHAVONDA: Yeah.

- ♪

- I wanna talk to Landon.

I wanna talk about what he did.

And it's really hard to, because Landon will look at you and say,

"I don't remember."

His drinking is now a problem.

It's an issue for everyone in the house,

because all of the roommates have to deal with Landon's

drunken nights.

Well, here's my thing.

Usually with you, like when you get drunk or whatever,

like usually, like I can deal with it.

But...you just--you were like bugging me.

- LANDON: Yeah.

- And I know that when we go out, we get drunk.

But with you, it's turned into a scary thing.

- Since I've been here, I've had a little trouble like

getting used to everything.

I think during the day I'm really quiet.

At night when I get drunk and lose my inhibitions,

then I become like complete opposite.

- For some--we notice that when M.J.'s drunk,

and he comes home, half an hour later,

he begins to sober up.

But with you, you're drunk until you go to sleep.

- No, I know, I'm--it's like I black out,

and it's--like no coming back from it at all.

- At all.

But I really wasn't gonna say anything because, a,

you already know.

- Well, no, I'm--I'm glad you are, 'cause...

You know, like I wouldn't know, like honest to God,

I would wake up the next morning and be like, "Oh, okay.

Let's go out."

I feel really bad about getting in Vonda's face,

making the roommates feel uncomfortable with me around

being drunk.

For me, like--for when I used to drink, you know, like and now,

I think there's a lot finer line.

Now, it's like--you know, it's like I drink,

I don't really feel a buzz.

And all of the sudden, I'm just drunk.

- SHAVONDA: Really?

- Yeah, and...there isn't a whole lot of in-between,

like gray area.

It's just like white and then, literally, black.

- Landon doesn't know for himself how much is too much.

I would love to see Landon not drink the rest of the time

we're here.

- I apologize.

Really, really sorry.

- It's alright.

- It definitely is a problem from--well,

for everyone around me when I do get that drunk.

And it's just--it is--I mean, it is scary.

To avoid what happened, I just need to really control

my drinking and be responsible for myself.

- ♪

- Are you interested in me at all?

- Not that.

As a friend, yeah.

- Having a relationship between Shavonda and I has

crossed my mind a lot.

Um...I like so many aspects of her personality.

- Do you think I'm leading you on?

- I'm just gonna--I just get these vibes from you.

And I--I do--I do like you, and it just--

- Even though me and Shaun broke up,

I think I appreciate him even more.

I just that's where--that's my love.

Girls think long term with these boys.

And you know, if I'm gonna have a crush on somebody,

can I imagine myself marrying them?

And having a white picket fence?

I do not have a crush on Landon anymore for the sole reason that

he just drinks too much.

- I don't know, whatever.

I mean, you know how I feel and--and that's fine.

Like if you don't feel...same way, it's okay.

It's not like you have to.

If that's the route Shavonda takes with me is that she wants

to be friends, that is totally cool.

I'm fine with that.

Mmm.

- ♪

- Becky and I dated for seven years.

Why are you uncomfortable being around me?

- I am not.

- The girl that I knew so well has changed so much.

- You went out of state, Shaun?

You didn't tell me you were going out of state to see your

ex-girlfriend?

- SHAUN: Shavonda, I'm just helping a friend.

Do you understand?

- No, I don't [bleep] understand!