17x01 - Welcome to Key West

[bunniefuu]

I'm John, and this is my audition.

MAN: Here, boy.

[whooping]

Do you know how to turn it on?

It's on. Oh.

And now I get these things where people think

that my lips are fake, 'cause, they're, like, really big.

See? They're not fake. I swear.

The big hair runs in the family, you can tell.

Look at that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

If anything, I would get my nose done,

'cause if I turn to the side there's like a bump in my nose.

I don't know if you can see it. I hate it.

[laughing]

My boobs are real. See? They jiggle.

They're real.

A chance to make it on MTV'sReal World,

[bleep] priceless.

Captioning sponsored by MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS

I love you.

We've been together for almost three years.

I know I'm gonna miss him a lot.

I'm gonna miss Martin a great deal.

One-handed hug? You're a b*tch.

I've always lived at home. Always.

I've never been away from home for more than a week, ever.

Like, ever. This is huge.

I think it's a health hazard to bring that.

PAULA: I need, I need a fresh start.

I need, I need a new start,

because I recently became kind of, a little bit bulimic.

Uh, always had an issue with food, like, I just...

I always think that I'm gonna get fat

or too ugly or too something.

Love you, Mommy.Love you, too, sweetie.

I'm proud of you.

Sh.

TYLER: I have absolutely no idea

how my roommates will take to my personality.

Uh, it's been a certain pattern in my life

that people either love me or hate me

in the first five minutes of meeting me.

[rock music plays]

Bye, Mom.

Are you gonna miss me?

Yes.

My name is Janelle,

and I'm from San Jose, California.

I am half black and half white,

and, you know, I just really hope

that people are open

to accepting me for that.

[honking]

You need to stop...

Don't make that face, I know what that means.

Listen, don't even start crying.

Here. Here's a tissue, okay?

Honestly.

As of right now, I really have no obligations holding me back.

If there's a step up from the college experience,

I definitely, uh, think Key West is it.

ZACH: I have always played it safe.

I have always wanted to do, you know,

the college thing,

and playing the sports, and never

really going out of my comfort zone.

This opportunity is really going to,

you know, expand my horizons.

Although I've lived in Florida for a long time,

I've never actually been down to Key West.

The only thing I really know about Key West

is it's a small island

and they've been hit by some hurricanes and they're

always going away for evacuations, that's about it.

REPORTER: The latest on Katrina is,

it looks like it's strengthening rather rapidly,

and, uh, the implications for the Keys are,

uh, that the weather is not going to improve.

PAULA: I'm in Miami right now, and I am anxiously

awaiting to meet my six other roommates.

And Hurricane Katrina

comes along and foils my plan, and, uh, I'm put on hold.

REPORTER: This has the potential to be the worst hurricane

in the Keys in many, many years.

TYLER: Here I am, stuck in this

shanty hut,

waiting for Hurricane Katrina to pass.

There's water leaking from the ceiling.

Here's where I was doing my journal.

"I find it more than ironic that I would be chosen

"for the most luxurious show, only to ultimately be marooned

on an island with no food or electricity."

My roommates are probably in the same situation.

JOHN: This, uh, this is my first hurricane.

There's water everywhere,

all the stairwells are full, the elevators aren't working.

Tend to believe

that bad weather follows me wherever I go.

ZACH: Who knew the hurricane

would just sit over Key West for two days?

This is where I slept last night,

and it was the only place that really had silence.

I didn't want to lock myself in the bathroom.

It's looking good, today.

Today is, today is a good day.

Now I can say I survived a hurricane, so...

SVETLANA: I was so scared.

It was, like, this long,

darker than all the other clouds,

and it was just really thin, and I thought, I could have...

I don't know, maybe... If that was a tornado,

don't tell me, 'cause I'll die.

ZACH: I'm excited for electricity to turn on.

Then moving into a new home, meeting new people...

Are you kidding me? I cannot wait.

I actually enjoy people

that are just as loud and obnoxious as me.

I'm Svetlana.

Svetlana. I'm Tyler.Hi, Tyler.

I'm, like, melting.

I know. Don't smell me, I swear to God.

It already smells like dog ... out here anyways.

Are you Russian? Yeah.

[speaking Russian]

Whoa. Good. Where'd you learn that?

Are you serious? Yeah.

I came to America in ', I was four years old.

I had an accent, so everybody

kind of, like, made fun of me about it.

I'm so excited that there's a Russian person, I love that.

That's so cool.Awesome.

Now I can't talk [bleep] about you.

[laughing]

TYLER: Svetlana, she is Russian to a tee.

I love her. She's hilarious.

Big[bleep],big jewelry.

First thing I wanted to know was,

"Where's your [bleep] mink?"

What's this? Oh, it's a joke.

When I was at home swimming with my swim club,

all the girls have bracelets

of how many guys they've done stuff with. Yuck!

It's like a big joke that I've...

...an accessory.Wouldn't a guy walk away from a girl who was, like...? Ugh.

Oh, I'm g*y, so it doesn't matter.

Oh, you are? Yes.

My biggest fear was having

this whole house of extremely attractive guys

and having to think about temptation being there,

so thank God, like, it's another guy I don't have to worry about

liking in the house, 'cause he's g*y.

I've thought a lot

about meeting my roommates,

and I think that there will definitely be

a little bit of clashing,

especially with me, 'cause I know I have

a really strong personality

and I can kind of,

maybe intimidate people at times.

There she is. Pink luggage and all.

Great to finally meet you. I'm John.

Nice to meet you. Janelle.

Janelle, it's a pleasure.

So, uh, did you leave anyone special behind? Any boyfriend?

Sort of, kind of.

We've been broken up for a while, though,

so I'm definitely out here single, for sure.

Things can get interesting.

Yeah, things can definitely get interesting.

But I think, you know, it'd be nice to have

only three girls in the house.

I kind of want more guys in the house. Why's that?

I just think it's gonna get real catty.I think the exact opposite.

Dude, I'd like to have more girls and less guys.

In Key West, I am not looking for...

to establish a relationship, just because I have

a really difficult time trusting people in general.

JOSE: I see this young lady-- blonde, skinny,

attractive.

What's up? How you doing?

Yeah, dude, it's crazy. I can't believe it.

Where you from?I'm from Connecticut.

I think when people first meet me, I get the typical...

"She must be a bimbo."

Excited? How long you been here?You seem so calm.

Yeah, I am cool. I'm cool.

I act kind of, a little crazy, a little ditzy, but, you know,

they don't know deep down that I'm a dork.

JOSE: Any boyfriend? You going into this with

any boyfriend,or what?

No.Yeah.That's funny.

I've always had boyfriends.

No, I'm the same way. I just got out of, like,

a five and a half year relationship.

Shut your mouth.

Irene, my ex-girlfriend,

she was very passive, always gave me what I want,

and I didn't want it.

You were a child when you lived with her.

I want a girl that's gonna make me work for her,

you know, keep me on my toes.

I'm excited. Gorgeous, man.

This is absolutely gorgeous.

There's dog poo over there.

Don't step in that.

Thank you.

What's up, man? John. Zach.

Zach? It's a pleasure to meet you, bro.

Hi. Janelle.

Nice to meet you.

JANELLE: My first impression of Zach is that he's

sort of this, like... scraggly guy.

His hair was just kind of

all over the place.

You got a bleeding book, man.

You got something to hold you over for a while, I see.

JANELLE: He looked like he just

really didn't care, like he just got

out of bed and just came to the pier.

Were you guys here in Key West

during the hurricane and everything? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

How was your, did you guys lose power or anything?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, see, we didn't.

I was, we, see, I...

Stop talking. Stop talking.

You guys lost power!

ZACH: They have huge personalities.

These are only two roommates.

This house is going to be full of intense people.

I wonder if there's some place to get a drink right now.

That' right, all right.

And the b*tch Katrina.

And the b*tch Katrina.

You sl*t.

Do you think, do you know

if we're waiting for anybody else??

No, we're probably just waiting

for an airplane or something like that.

No, no, we're not waiting for an airplane.

I think we are.No, we're not.

Are you serious?I'm serious.

There's airplanes all over. Of course

we're going to take an airplane.

Why are we taking an airplane?

Why can't we just drive there?I don't know, 'cause it's scenic.

But the thing is made out of nothing.

It's like a tin can.

Well, if anything, we'll just crash into the water.

Don't say that.I'm saying, if we did

then we can swim. It'll be fun.

But there's coral. We could crash into the coral.

Uh-oh. No. Uh-oh, uh-oh.

SVETLANA: No.

I'm not going on that. Am I?

I really don't want to go on the airplane.

Hi.

Hello, there, guy.

Is there a toilet on there, in case I...?

In case my bowels lose control?

SVETLANA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Is it supposed to shake like this?

Yeah.

How do you know?

Are you a [blip] plane?

But how dramatic would it be if we crashed, though?

[laughing]

What is wrong with you?

I'm just saying.

[shrieking]

SVETLANA: I think I'm gonna die.

This feeling comes over me-- just pray and tell

God you're going to be a good Jewish girl

so He just saves your life.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It's a boy!

Direct from China.

I hope we don't fly in one of those planes.

Gentlemen.

JOHN: So what's your deal, man? You leave any special

chicks behind or what? No.

Nothing? How about you?

No, I, uh...Single? Single.

Yeah. All these single people. Yeah!

It's the only way to go, dude. It's the only way to go.

PAULA: Are you a senior? Junior?

JOSE: I'm a senior.

What's your major?Finance.

Oh, wow. Yeah, with minor in real estate.

Nice.Yeah.

JOSE: I'm of Puerto Rican descent

and my childhood was rough.

I mean... we lived in the, in-in the ghetto.

What, do you want to do something towards real estate?

I actuallyaminvolved in real estate right now.

I knew there was ways to buy houses without a job.

When I got into college, I took my money out of my mutual funds

and I started going to Barnes and Noble's, reading books.

You know, I did that for a couple of months.

I was like, "Oh, this is how you do it," you know?

April of -- I bought my first house.

Look at you.

SVETLANA: This doesn't feel so good.

I think we're getting ready for a water landing, too.

Oh, here we go, a water landing!

Oh, no!

[Svetlana shrieking]

TYLER: Ooh.

Hey, gentlemen.

Oh... Look!

Oh, my God.

This house is enormous and ridiculously beautiful.

Is that for real?

Look, canoes. Yes.

Oh, look how beautiful that is.

Oh, h*, h*.

My God.

Oh, my... jacuzzi-woozie. Look at that!

This is so cool.

I'm gonna cry.

There is no way

this is our pad right here.

This is it, man.

JANELLE: Oh, how sweet!

This is our...

an office.

See the little clown fish?

It hides... he hides...

SVETLANA: Nemo! Look!

JANELLE: Look at the cabana!

How cute! JOHN: This is out of control.

The purple rack is mine.

We got a butterfly... A little atri... atrium.

I don't even want to go inside.You need help?

Oh, this is so much... people are here.

Ooh! Ooh!

Yeah!

The roommates!

Yeah.

TYLER:Are these all the roommates?

I'm Tyler.Tyler?

TYLER: Just boom, here's John.

I was expecting him within the first five minutes

to chug a beer and crash the can on his head.

Nice to meet you.SVETLANA: Janelle walks in--

the way that she walked in, she just had that like...

like presence, like sashays into the room.

My first impression of Janelle is, she walks up to me

and I introduce myself

and she goes...

"Hi. I'm Janelle."

Zach? Svetlana.

Svetlanaisan attractive girl.

Zach, like tall,

curly, curly hair. This isn't going to be good.

How old are you? .

Oh, we have the baby in the house...

I'm not a baby at all.

I'm just so sick of being the baby.

Martin babies me so bad.

I don't want to be babied.

We found a relational girl.

Oh, you have a boyfriend? Yeah.

Yeah!Dump the boyfriend.

This is going to be interesting, dude.

This is going to get interesting, dude.

JOSE: This is Star Key.

PAULA: This whole thing right here?Yeah.

We're a hop and a skip and a jump away.

Are we really?

Yeah. We're on track now.

JOSE: I'm sure it's going to be amazing.

JOHN: Honey, can you set the table for us?

Lovely.

It wouldn't have came together without, uh...

Spitzlana's... Freakin' figure out a nickname.

Stop butchering my name.

Russian!All through freaking high school it was

like "Sweaty-la-la."

So what was... Sweaty-la-la?

Call me anything you want, just don't

butcher the name, don't like k*ll your mouth over it.

Funbags?

Funbags. All right. Cool.

JOHN: We got Funbags over here.

I'll call you Sacface, then.

We got Funbags, but I'm just playing.

Funbags and Sacface.Oh, my God.

Ow. That was harsh.

See, I guess this is

where it got flooded or whatever. Oh, yeah.

Look at this... Oh, my God.

I think we're the first ones here.

PAULA: What the hell is this?

...skinny blonde girl...

Guys just love blondes.

Not that I'm attention-craving. It's that I feel

like they always get all the attention

and it's just annoying.

I bet that's

gonna walk through that door.

[shrieks]

[shrieking ]

Oh, my God.

How you doing?

We're eating.

JANELLE: I'm so excited to see Jose,

another colored person.

How's it going?

Jose. Nice to meet you.

Oh, my God.

Svetlana.

Jose, good to meet you. Hi. I'm Paula

JANELLE: My first impression of Paula

is like-- skinny, blonde b*tch.

Here we go again, like, story of my life.

[indistinct voices]

Hi, I'm Paula.

We had to leave my car outside, man.

[buzzing]

Listen to this.

[all laughing]

I just turned someone's machine on, there, dude.

She must have brought her boyfriend along,

dude, and it's, it's, uh...

We got something going on?

I wouldn't... it's like a toothbrush.

No, I don't think so.

Something's vibrating over here, man.

It's a shaver. See, it's a shaver.

Is it a shaver? All right, it's fine.

We thought we found a jackpot.

JOHN: Me and Zach are going to be rooming together.

We're both from the West Coast.

We both have a similar mentality.

Do you snore, Jose?

TYLER: How sweet. Out of all

the people I'd want to room with in the house

I think it'd actually be him.

This is going to be a really weird experience,

just 'cause, like, I'm really weird

and my group of friends are really...

eccentric, so it's going to be

weird being around other types of people.

Normal people.

I want to show you a picture of my boyfriend.

I want to see your boyfriend. Oh, he's cute.He's really cute.

He doesn't look like a thug. No, he's not.

I think, you know, you're never single

until you break up

with your first relational partner.

And she was my first girlfriend I ever had.

How long did you guys go out for?

Like, a year and a half.

Dude, I had a three-and-a-half-year

long relationship that,

that ended last November, dude.

So any types for you, do you think?

Types? Yeah.

Like anyone who you think fits into your type.

Don't say it.

No, that needed an answer.

Tell me right now. Tell me right now.

Tell me right now. Tell me right now.

So what do you look for in a girl?

I really don't have-- that's the weirdest thing, dude.

I really don't have a type that I look for.

If she's a cool girl, man, then that's it.

I am way too old for anybody in this house.

That's not true.Just say it. We just want to know.

No, I don't... I actually don't have a type.

I don't have a type.

Okay, but, like anyone in the house?

Well, obviously, I think all of them are beautiful.

JOHN: I didn't see any rafts

in the pool, so I took it upon myself to bring mine.

[laughing]

[rap music plays]

Here, she needs a little more air when you get a chance.

PAULA: John...

he seems c*ck.

And, uh... way too self-confident.

Typical dude.

Hey, guys, we gonna go out tonight?

To Duval, you think?

Where's Duval?Where all the bars are.

[rock music plays]

Naked ladies, cold beer.

There you go, guys.

No need to say any more, dude.

Naked ladies and cold beer.

♪ We're wasting time

♪ This cattle drive

♪ Just take your licking, baby

♪ You will find

♪ Me and my friends

JOHN: Paula is a beautiful girl, but

she seems to be extremely thin.

Would you mind seeing her with about

ten, more pounds on her, dude? Not at all.

It would just fill you out a little bit more.

Leave her alone because you think skinny girls are hot.

PAULA: For him to call me out in front of everybody

and saying this and that,

I am just so hurt.

It has been made blatantly clear that, uh,

I have eating issues and my roommates apparently

have, uh... are seeing them

and they've brought it to my attention.

I was just so pumped to, like, meet all these people,

and then I realize maybe I don't like people.

Maybe I just don't like myself.

I just feel like a very dull person.

I don't think I'm pretty.

I don't think I'm good enough.

I don't think I'm big boobed enough

I don't think I'm smart enough.

I don't think anything.

I don't want to... like,

I don't want anybody to look at me.

I don't want people to, like, be around me.

I just, I hate it.

I feel... so sad.

What can we do for you?Nothing.

ZACH: I am really concerned about Paula.

I am thinking that we're going to have

this wonderful family of a house,

and now we're dealing with an issue.

All I need is a hug right now.

That's all you can get.

[telephone rings]

This is Tyler.

Hey, Ty, it's Fitchy.

Oh...

Okay, tell me a little bit about the roommates.

I mean, what do you want to know?

Um... I don't know, just give me a lowdown.

What are their names?

There's this girl named Janelle.

She's biracial.

African-American studies, going to law school.

She's one of the intelligent ones, I like her.

Okay, so, next?

Svetlana, she's like, seriously straight-up Russian mafia.

[Russian accent]: She's, like, "Oh, I have my BMW X.

And I have mink coat and jewelry."

And her boobs go on forever. Oh...

FITCH: Next.

My roommate is this guy named Jose.

He has, like, a heart of gold.

The sweetest, like, most caring guy.

Oh, there's this meat head... there's this, a total meat head.

His name is Johnny Bananas. But he just, like,

walked in with a blow-up doll named Judy, which I loved.

Next.

The Jew from Seattle.

His name is Zach, he's super cute, super nice.

He has, like, crazy curly brown hair that runs amok.

And, you know, the scruffy beard.

Deep green eyes and kind of playful attitude.

Um, we have an anorexic girl.

Like, I swear to God,

like, when she walked in the house

I thought she was going to break in half.

And I hate saying it, but, like...

she needs a, she needs, like a protein shake.

She needs, like, a Power bar.

FITCH: What's her name?

TYLER: Paula.

All right, so give me the dish.

Yeah.

Are you, are... everyone's, like,

talking, like, that you... like, about last night.

I thought you were just kind of drunk and upset.

I was really drunk and upset.

When I drink,

I just turn into a sobbing mess.

Do you know what I'm nervous about?

I'm nervous that people are going to be worried

that that's going to happen every time, like, we go out.

So I have to, like, prove myself.

Unfortunately, right now I'm with six other people

who have probably never seen a girl act like this.

That's what I was saying.

She's drunk,

she's tired.

The girl got drunk,

end of story.

Ty, do we have dish detergent, do you know?

I would check under the sink.

Yeah, I did. It's not under there.Really?

Use soap or what? Yeah. Should be fine.

Do you know where the can opener is?

I have no idea, man.

Well, how do I open the tuna?

Your teeth.

It's not in the drawer with the rest of the silverware?No.

Maybe it's in here.

Oh, God. Oh...!

This is not good.

JOHN [laughs]: Oh, h*, h*!

Oh, my God! oh, my God!

[laughing]

How much soap did you put in here?

Not a lot, dude.

My noodles, my noodles, my noodles!

[laughing]

Well, there you go.

For future reference, man, don't use dish soap.

Johnny is a child.

And he would just let it sit there.

I cleaned up the rest of the kitchen, man.

I'm acting as a levee.

I've learned a thing or two from Katrina.

Hey, we can go fishing.JOSE: I'm down, dude.

How about right now?I'm game.

Grab the fishing rods.

I'm getting them now, dude.

Anybody want to go in the pool?

Dude, I'm stoked about this.

Here's the problem.

Do you know how to fish?

We'll figure it out.

Oh...!

Fishy, fishy.

Fishy!

Fishy, fishy, fishy.

Hey, don't scare them.

Zach, can I catch you?

That would lasso my head.I want to make friends.

I haven't had any friends for the past three years.

It's all been my boyfriends' friends.

I want to make some drinks, dude.

And we'll come out...Anyone know charades?

Make some drinks.

Hey. You guys want to play?

I don't think I'm going to be playing charades.

I don't want to play charades.

Why don't you just hang out for a little bit? Why don't you...?

'Cause this is boring!

ZACH: At times, Svetlana is

extremely exhausting.

But she is also a very beautiful young woman.

I don't think any straight

men would complain about seeing that girl naked.

On that note, cheers!

SVETLANA: Is this why

he was throwing up?

You hit my ball.

Oh, my God.You got to hit your own ball first, buddy.

Then again, we're not playing by...

by any rules here, so...

Eight ball in the corner.

I have a new nickname for you-- Slutlana.

I really felt like we were going to,

like, clash a little bit.

He just goes a little bit too far

and, like, kind of hits my nerves.

Scratch.

MARTIN: All I know is I miss you a lot.

I have a boyfriend, his name is Martin,

and we've been together for almost three years.

Hello?I think Zach likes me.

What?I think that kid Zach likes me.

What?He's, like, obsessed with feet.

If he touches your feet, and you let him touch you,

I'm going to whup your and his a*s.

What do you mean?

So you think it's okay?

Oh, here we go.

That's like me calling and telling you,

"Oh, this girl called me. She says she's obsessed with a*s,

and she just wants to touch my a*s and touch my a*s."

Okay, 'cause a*s and feet are the same thing?

I don't care. It's touching.

I miss him a great deal,

and I feel that maybe that we won't last

because I left.

What are you going to do now?

Probably go do the same thing I did last night--

look at your stupid picture.

[both speaking Russian]

Bye, baby.Bye.

Do we have any chamomile tea in there?

We have lemon, but not chamomile.

I think Mr.Seattle Times over there has a thing

for our Russian beauty.

Why?'Cause I walked in there--

in the pool room-- and she was, like, like, like,

like all smattering around him, like butter on a pancake.

[laughing]

When I talk about hitting the spot-- spot hitter.

What are you two lovebirds talking about?

♪ I'm in love with your potential ♪

♪ I'm in love with what you can be, babe ♪

♪ I'm in love with your potential. ♪

It's so funny!

I'm not even hungry, yet I will have some munchies...

When you... have you ever sat down and ate, like, a meal?

That body must be wanting something in it.

I don't think it would hurt if you...

if you, uh... would indulge a little bit more--

have a slice of pizza.

Oh, my God! I can't imagine.

I watch everybody make sandwiches

and eat pizza and, like,

eat all this crap that they make, and I am, like...

"How do they do that? I wanna do that!"

I'm jealous, I guess.

Of what?

Of that you can eat that pizza

and not make it want to make you depressed or...

Why would eating a slice of pizza make you depressed?

It just would. It would depress me.

Why?Like, you weak, weak person.

What's weak about that? How is that weak?

If I do that, I will gain weight.

I will get fat. Oh, my God! No, no, no.

And I just... no. I just convince myself no.

This is so good.

What is John eating?

Pizza.Pizza?

Pizza, pizza!

Pizza, pizza.I want pizza.

This is, like... like, seriously, a storm.

This thing is rolling in like crazy.

SVETLANA: My idea of the perfect girl

is big boobs, small waist, huge butt, plump thighs

and, like, perfectly-toned legs.

Like, my boyfriends from a long time ago,

they, like, "Wow! You used to, you know, be very curvy,

have such big boobs."

And I was, like... And they're, like, that was great.

I was, like, but I wasn't happy.

I felt, like, pudgy and soft, and I was, like...

Deep down, I was, like,

if I could put on an outfit and feel good,

I don't care if you don't like it.

That's why I ain't getting dressed. I hate the way I look in clothes.

My stomach makes me feel my whole body looks like crap.

It's just, like, I don't know.

See, I... I really do think you have,

like, a skewed body perception of yourself.

No matter what I do, I've never

been comfortable with the way that I look.

See, if a man says... I always feel exhausted

from always worrying about my weight.

We could learn from each other, and stop being this way.

It's the downfall of American

female societyYeah.

[thunder crashing]

I want to see a tornado.

[thunder crashes]

Good one.I want to see this lightning show better.

Oh!

That island is getting pounded over there.

That island is fried, man.

Can I ask a question?

Sure.Of course you can.

What... what do your parents do?

Yeah, we... I want to know.

ZACH:We own a family business.

A jewelry business.Don't tell Svetlana.

I did. Oh, no wonder!

All over you. See your jewels, she's like... "show me the bling."

Dude, no.JANELLE: Bring me out, baby.

ZACH:That girl... any other scenario...

I'd, like, I'd walk away from her.

Really?Know what I mean?

Because she's just so obnoxious and, like...Hmm...

But at the same time, it turns me on. I don't know why.

So, you are attracted to her.

I'm attracted to her, but like...

I get... half the time, I... I want to get out of the situation,

and then half the time... I kind of want to see her naked.

ZACH: Svetlana is someone

that will definitely tantalize me a little bit,

'cause she's Jewish and she's beautiful

and all these things, but she has a boyfriend.

With her and her boyfriend, I'm not going to get involved.

She's cute, she's fun to flirt with...

So, wait, do you...She pisses me off a lot. Yeah.

She's annoying, end of story. That's it.

[Janelle groaning]

That was the Money Ball.

JOSE: Here we go.

PAULA: I got the four.

I get to hit another ball.

JOHN:Let's wait till Martin comes.

SVETLANA: Why? You don't want to meet him?

It's just kind of a bummer that, you know...

What? I have a boyfriend?Yeah.

It really is, dude.

I think it's great. I think...I don't think it's great.

Fitz has a great personality, and, um...

a great sense of humor to go along with that, so...

you know, I don't see how any guy

could not be attracted to that.

Yeah, but you have to understand that you're

saturated with Martin, back in Philly.

Martin, Martin, Martin.

Do you really need to talk to him all the time?

Do you really need him to visit?

That's what I'm saying, like this is your time

to get away and really experience-- not necessarily with

anybody in the house or...Yeah...

But outside, you know, just open your doors.

It's not like I'm trying to get you to break up with him.I understand.

No, no, no.JOHN: So am I, dude.

Like, I miss him at nighttime, but like during the day...

We just... we just got to chip away a little bit at at a time.

No!If I had a girlfriend, I think I'd be doing

the same thing you're doing. I'd grill you, too.

Would you?I don't blame you guys at all for...

'Cause I know that if I was single and you had a girlfriend?

Yeah.I'd just do the same thing.

See, that's what I should have done. I should have came on with a girl.

That would have been an extra-good idea.

I would have just made one up, I would have invented a girlfriend.

You did. You bought her, and she deflated.

[laughing]SVETLANA: Deflated!

JOHN: The first night, dude.

JOSE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

PAULA: I think that I'm solids.

JOSE: Oh, yeah, you are solids.

SVETLANA: Wanna take a nap on the couch? I'll take a nap with you

on the couch.JOHN: All right.

What, is this a clothing- optional nap, or what?

What? What?

Damn!

I told you, I told you.

I-I can't figure out if Svetlana, if she likes him back.

Like, I know she thinks he's attractive... I...

Dude, he's in there.

What? You think that they're... they're gonna hook up?

♪ I see if you're willing

♪ I'll take you somewhere new

I think he's-he's gonna try within this week,

get shot down, but try again.

You think so?Yeah!

Yeah.

I just call it like I see it.

♪ If you're willing

JOHN: I'd be willing to bet money on this.

At this point, there is a mutual attraction there,

and it isn't just... just one-sided.

♪ If you're willing, I'll take you somewhere... ♪

We're going to Duval Street.

It's Rick's.

Let's do it. Let's do it.

[dance music playing]

♪

SVETLANA: I'm dancing and I'm just having an awesome time.

My shirt breaks and I run into John.

Let me help you.

That go around your neck?

My shirt broke.

He's fixing it.

I can put clothes on as good as I can take them off.

SVETLANA: John's definitely attractive.

I definitely have respect for his body and his build.

He bit me.

I'm sorry. Ow.

I love the fact that he's so funny

and that I can have a really good time with him.

Do a Jell-O shot.

JOHN:How much do I got to pay you

so I can suck all the whipped cream out of your can?

Hey, you are useless.

John comes across as the essence of every guy that I don't like.

He's good looking enough,

but I don't like people that are very in your face.

Oh, you are a dirty, dirty boy.

You've got... Jell-O on your fingers

and there's alcohol on that.

I'm not going to let that go to waste.

You guys want to go swimming?

He's Ret*rded.

You...

JOHN: I notice that Paula keeps approaching me

and just making

kind of awkward comments to me.

You're just like that kind of person that irritates me.

I'm either... I'm either going to be on your good side or your bad side.

You're not going to be indifferent about me.

Oh, but I let it... I let it roll.

It didn't take long for you to decide.

Oh, I knew. That's fine.

You've only seen the tip of the iceberg.

Your tip of the iceberg's very flat.

JOHN: I think that there's a possibility

that Paula could be acting this way

because maybe she's attracted to me,

and I'm not showing her the type of attention

that she'd like.

We're missing Jose.

Let's go.

Let's rock out.

I'm not crying.

I just hate it.

Why?

I hate it.

Then let's go. Let's go, let's go.

I don't even know why I am upset.

Let's go.

JANELLE: I look at Paula

and she has this very worried look on her face.

Like something is just like terribly, terribly wrong.

We'll go lobster hunting.

No, you guys are holding my ankles

and we're grabbing lobsters.

Is my face red?

No, it's gorgeous.Yeah, it looks good.

It looks like a Picasso.

If I was a girl,

I'd be a l*sbian.

It's so painful.

I'm-I'm pained

listening to you run your mouth.

Yes! I'm in pain.

JOHN: My lady, it's... it's going to happen.

PAULA: No, I understand.

Get out of the... car!

Paula, next time you bleach your hair,

and you upend the bowl,

leave the rest in there.

Don't put in on, 'cause it [bleep]

with your brain chemistry.I love it.

TYLER: John and Paula are having

the most elementary fight at this point.

I can't stand you.

Just 'cause you can't have the p*nis doesn't mean...She doesn't want your p*nis.

TYLER: And then, of course,

the next thing she does is insult his p*nis size.

So be it... so be it...

...speak whatever they wish.

I'm willing to listen.

Because you've seen it.

'Cause you've seen it.

I can't help it.

He predictably makes a comment

about her breast size.

Like I can't help the size of my boobs.

You don't talk about

an anorexic girl's breasts.

Just don't do it.

Honey, what's wrong?

This is what we're going to do.

Seeing you reminded her.

JOHN: Don't even put this on me.

JANELLE: She starts hyperventilating.

So now I'm like really freaking out.

Okay, what the... is going on?

Can we get out of the car?

Can you pull over?

Get out of the car. Get out of the car.

Let's get out of the... car.

PAULA: Thank you.

Walk it off.

We got to give her some air.

Okay, but I don't want her to faint.

[gagging]

I feel like she's like hurting.

What happened at the club, dude, like...?

You know, she's like, freaking out.

ZACH: I do not think it's related to alcohol.

I did not see her drink very much.

I don't know what it is.It's not about alcohol, it's about control.

It's about she gets freaked out.

She's been... something in her life, which we have yet to find out,

has definitely impacted her where she...

lacks the ability to control stuff.

And she gets to that feeling and it's scary.

And she starts.

Wow, I just feel so bad, you know what I mean?

Is it John that gets to you?

Is that what's upsetting you?

Does he remind you of somebody from before?

No, he just reminds me of an idiot.

I don't know what's going on.

I'm concerned.

She's like a little wet puppy.

And you just like... feel

like you need to take it and just do something with it.

Let's carry her, come on.

JOHN: I'm actually really confused.

I don't know at this point

what the rest of the roommates

would think about the situation.

And I don't know how they feel about me at this point.

And I actually am kind

of upset because I feel like I caused this.

Open up the back.

JOSE: She didn't have any food in her stomach.

TYLER: When you're giving a girl that hungry beer,

it's going to end in tears.

That's all I'm going to say.

Like guys, though.

Like guys...In general.

No.Not at all.

Nope. Men, you know, make me...

not make me nervous--

but they aggravate me.

I hope that whatever is going on with her life

that she can open up here,

because if she keeps this stuff inside her

I think she's going to end up going home real early.

♪ Take me down

♪ I'm lost and I need to be found. ♪

JOHN: Listen, if anything that happened tonight

was my fault whatsoever, I'm sorry, dude.

And I didn't mean it.

I honestly didn't mean anything.I know, I know, I know.

I'm still wondering what I said and did

to provoke such, like a violent reaction.

That was...That was crazy.

That was crazy.

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe.

Half of it...

That was, man, that was like,

that was unreal.

I hope it happened now and won't happen again,

but I doubt that.

Yeah. I doubt that, too.

I think it's just, you know,

a sign of things yet to come.

♪ Take me down

♪ I'm lost and I need to be found. ♪

Captioning sponsored by MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Next season onThe Real World:

Here's to the ex-boyfriend.I'll drink to that.

Here's to Fantasy Fest.

PAULA: If you have six people on you all the time...

Who was that?

...you cannot hide from anything.

MAN: It's called Mystic Tan.

You provide all the labor,

I'll provide the cash.

All right, we're ready.

It wouldn't seem like I was a loser then.

I want to manage or I'm going home. I need to manage.

So is Zach the manager?All in favor, aye.

[sobbing]: I hate it here.

I want to go home. I want to go home.

Can you hold up and wait?

I'm only...Don't [bleep] talk to me like that.

Don't act like an eight-year-old. I'm not gonna

listen to it anymore.Shut the [bleep] up.

This is serious, okay? Do you want help?

JOHN: Paula's got problems that go

a lot deeper than any of us

are able to help her with.

[thunder crashing]

MAN: The mandatory evacuation for all Keys residents...

...an extreme situation.

You guys, let's go. Come on.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, my God.

Here you go, you ready?

[imitating seal barking]

Go ahead.

Fine.

JOHN: Open your mouth.

I'm going to sh**t one in.

Oh!One more time.

I'm such a trooper that I keep going.

I'm just afraid something else is going to be in my mouth.