03x05 - TV Shuzai

[bunniefuu]

Do you have a thing for Kitahara?

Ye...

Yeah, no. No way.

Really?

Where did you get that idea?
Maybe you should lay off the booze.

Hey, I did say sorry
if I got the wrong idea.

Never. Not in a million years.

Anyway, long day tomorrow,
so I'm going to bed. Night.

Yeah, night.

Good morning.

- Good morning...

- You guys look so sleepy.

- I guess...

I'm still beat after yesterday.

So, we've got a TV crew coming
to film a special on the store today.

Whoa.

Media coverage before we even open?

This branch must be a big deal.

We wish.

Huh?

I had to pull some strings.

Way to go.

Okay, split up into two teams:
chores and filming.

And listen, I don't want anyone
on the chores team on camera.

Okay, get to your spots.

Hold it. Why am I doing chores?

Just following your instructions, boss.

You know you get extra-cranky
when you're nervous.

By the way, Kitahara.

Yeah?

What are you looking for in a girl?

I hate to admit it, but a bangin' bod.

Sounded like you admitted it
all too readily.

How about when you're not
trying to bust a nut?

Hmm, let me think.

It's all about that ample bosom, maybe?

That's still a bust, d*ck for brains.

Eh, someone who's chill to be around?

Oh?

And it'd be cool if they were
passionate about something.

Uh-huh.

Someone who can teach me
new things and stuff?

I see.

So, someone you can hang with all day,
who has their own hobbies,

and who can show you a whole new world?

Something like that, yeah.

Me?!

You were asking about girls, you moron.

The TV crew's here.

This is Yuichi Ikegoshi.

It's great to be here.

Ooh?

Well, he sure looks the part.

Let me see.

You're into guys like that, aren't you?

That's ancient history!

Is it?

It is!

I've changed, okay?

Okay, back to work we go.

They're back?

What's going on?

Iori.

During the dive, Ikegoshi-san actually...

Yikes.

He scratched himself on the coral.

I guess we'll do the rest
without Ikegoshi-kun.

Please, no! It's just a scratch!

Sure, but it's on your face.

Let Ai-chan handle the rest.

I can't do that! I'm begging you, please!

He's really fired up.

Apparently, this is
his first show as host.

Do you think Cakey's
makeup can cover it up?

That'd be a different kind of disaster.

Don't be mean.

You!

Eek!

Wh-What does he want?

Sorry about him.
He really can't deal with strangers.

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.

So, how can he help you?

Well, I was just thinking...

Excuse me for a second.

Producer! What do you think?

With a little hair dye...

it might work, right?

Body double?

Please!

For seven years since my debut, I've
been told I don't have a big personality.

But now, I'm finally getting my shot!

I want to market myself as a diver idol!

A diver idol? What?

I dunno if that'll help you stand out.

I think it's a great idea.

Kohei, you heard the man.

Hell to the no!

And you heard him.

I'm begging you!

If you want him to budge,

you're gonna need a voice
actress's autograph at least.

A voice actress?

If Yurika Muranaka will do, I can get one.

Yurika Muranaka here!

Tokyo Dome-level
voice actress, Yurika Muranaka!

Don't blame me if this doesn't work.

Looks like he's in.

That settles it, then!

Maybe, but...

Huh?

You might wanna reconsider.

I agree.

Why's that?

He's a pretty big weirdo.

Really? That's a problem...

Changed your mind?

Good.

That's a problem...

but not for me!

What are you, the king of
being misleading?!

It's all good! A little quirkiness
is just what I'm looking for!

I-Is that so?

If you feel so strongly,
we won't stop you.

But let me just say one last thing.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

For the love of god, take him back.

That was instant.

Wait! Sure, he's a bit weird...

What did you do?

They wanted a shot with my suit unzipped.

They meant flash your chest a little.

You unzipped it all the way, didn't you?

You took the job, so no stripping, okay?

That's a tall order, but I'll try.

See? At least use him for the food review!

He also said it'd be a tall order.

You should go see a doctor, Ikegoshi-san.

Right.

Hey...

I'm really counting on you, okay?

Leave it to me.
Anything for the autograph.

Good morning!

Ai Takahashi here!
Thank you for having me!

Hey there, Ai-chan.

Damn! She's got legs for days!

Wow, she's pretty!

Oho?

I've got to make a move!

Don't be stupid.

She's way out of your league!

Let a guy dream!

Try not to flash the camera
and end up in jail!

Tell my shirt, not me.

You're blaming your clothes?

Yeesh.

Wait right there, Kohei.

Good morning, Ikegoshi-san!

Hey, don't ignore her.

M-Morning.

Are you Ikegoshi-san's friend?

Not in a million years.

No, I'm staff here at this diving shop.

Oh, really?

If you don't mind,

could we go out when you're off work?

Who, me?

Yeah. We're on a tropical island and all.

We should hit the beach before we leave.

Oh, you don't say.

For real?!

A tropical island, the big blue sea,

and a dependable gentleman
to show her around!

This is a one-in-a-million chance!

Of course! It'd be my pleasure!

Oh, thank you so much!

I'm not going.

Bring your a*s. Do it for me.

I refuse.

Make yourself useful for once, damn you!

Shut up and die.

You're not interested, Ikegoshi-san?

No, he'll come around!

Could you take me out then?

A-Are you sure?

Huh? Yes, I'm sure.

We're good to go!

Let's come back to it later.

Hell yeah!

Wait, Koh... I mean, Ikegoshi-san.

Here, wear this T-shirt.
At least it won't magically slip off.

Try to keep your clothes on, okay?

I know.

Who do you think I am?

Okay, here we go!

Lights, camera... cut!

How did that happen?

I brainstormed this brilliant idea.

That's not a personality trait we need!

Uh, Ikegoshi-san?

Don't worry. During the meal,

I'll make sure to wear a napkin.

That just makes it look more scandalous!

What did I just tell you?!

I was trying to be careful, okay?

Clearly not careful enough.

I'm very sorry you had to see that.

R-Right...

Did something happen to Ikegoshi-san?
This isn't like him.

Actually, he hit his head
pretty hard earlier.

What are you saying?

Isn't this natural for us?

Hold it right there!

You two always walk around naked?

I don't, at least!

Whoops.

He must have a concussion or something!

Uh.

I forgot to give it back the other day.

I-I swear, it's not what it looks like!

I-I'm sure!

Resuming filming!

I need to go.

How about I explain
when we grab a bite later?

Sorry, something just came up.

Let's go, Ikegoshi-san!

Sure.

- That as*h*le! It's all his fault!

- What's he so upset about?

- Something dumb.

That as*h*le!

I must have my revenge!

Oh, wow! This is amazing!

I don't have the words
to describe this scenery!

Yeah. It's almost like...

a tropical island, huh?

Well, yeah, we're in Palau.

Cut!

Look! Giant clam meat!

It's so chewy!

Such a delicate flavor for meat
so large, right, Ikegoshi-san?

Yes.

It tastes like clam.

Right, sure.

What? Is that all?

Mangrove crab! How rare!

The meat has a subtle bitterness
that's so addictive!

Yeah, it's bitter.

This is taro potato, and it tastes...

Tastes like potato.

He's an awful commentator!

Well, yeah, it's Kohei.

He might be nervous.

Y-You love your oceans, so you
must know a lot about seafood!

You could say that.

Giant clams are so large
they're pretty grotesque in person.

Mangrove crabs are easy
enough to find in Japan.

Humphead wrasse is ugly as sin.

Talk about the positives, dude.

Next, we have a whole lobster!

One big shrimp.

The aroma gets your mouth watering!

Smells like grilled shrimp.

Um, anything else to add?

The flashy first impression combined
with the thoughtful execution

is like a magical girl anime with its
intense action and refined movements.

The transformation from oceanic freedom—

The choice to serve it
whole in a seaside shack

may be orthodox, but it shows
confidence in the quality and flavor.

Much in the same way
Kaya-sama performs on stage...

Tastes like shrimp.

It didn't work.

Well, time to turn to our last resort.

Bat soup and strong booze.

That should make for some good footage.

I don't know about that...

Maybe reconsider.

Okay, what do we have up next?

Eek!

Yes! Now we're talking!

Okay.

I'm fine. I was just a little startled.

You're k*lling it, Ai-chan!

Pass some to Ikegoshi-kun, too!

We're sorry.

You look like you could use some help.

Need a hand?

Iori?

Do you have a good idea?

Nobody in the world
is better at handling that guy.

Oh, thank god!

I mean, he's not lying.

Mind if I borrow those?

The headsets?

You want to feed him directions?

They're too big.
They'll be visible onscreen.

Don't worry. Let me handle this.

Resuming filming!

Got it!

I hid the headset like you told me,
but will it really work?

Yeah.

I wish he'd make it look more delicious.

I'll try telling him.

Kohei, savor the food more.

Doesn't look like he's listening.

Hey, it didn't work.

Yeah, you normally couldn't
hear something that quiet.

What was the point?

That's where this comes in.

Kohei-kun.

That got his attention!

Isn't that voice...

Don't tell me...

Yep, it's Kaya Mizuki's voice.

He can hear her voice,
no matter how faint it is.

That's basically his special power.

He's looking for her.

Make him stop.

On it.

Stop, Kohei-kun. Don't look.

He settled down.

And now...

I... made that.

Uh...

Delicious.

Huh?

It's delicious! I've never had
anything so sublime in my life!

Ambrosia crafted by the gods!
The forbidden fruit from heaven!

The positively angelic, refined flavor

- matches the tropical scenery
to create the perfect harmony!

- Y-Yeah? That's right!

You edited Maya-san's voice to make this?

I predicted it'd come in handy someday.

Nobody in their right mind
could have seen this coming.

How do you like that?

Perfect. Keep it up.

Got it. You can leave it all to me.

Kohei-kun. Is. The wine. Tasty?

Indeed. Its silky mouthfeel and
peachy fruitiness are spectacular.

Yeah! I agree!

Way to go, Iori.

Right?

I was sure you'd try to get back at him.

What are you talking about?

Die!

Kohei-kun.

Yes, Kaya-sama?

I have. A favor to ask.

Could you. Eat. The clam shells?

Ikegoshi-san!

What's gotten into him?

What are you making him do?!

All to get some good footage!

Uh-huh! Didn't you just tell him to die?!

Kohei-kun. Spirytus. Shall we drink?

I'd love some Spirytus right now!

Where'd that come from?!

I'm not done yet!

Hey, Iori!

Stop it!

And also. I'd love to see. A triple flip.

One, two, three, done!

Something's not right here.

You mean everything!

Kohei-kun.

Trust me.

Nothing's wrong. Not at all!

The whole sh**t's being ruined...

Hey, that looks bad!

What do I do?

This should do it!

Don't! That's...

- Run, Ai-chan!

- I... I...

- This is dangerous!

What have I done?

Get back!

Kohei!

Got it!

Are you all right?

Y-Yes.

Glad to hear it.

Good thing you're used
to flammable liquor.

It's the first time I've ever been
glad to have you around.

Can't you give a guy an honest compliment?

Ikegoshi-san.

What is it?

Your friend...

He's pretty dependable, isn't he?

Okay, back to work.

Lights, camera...

Cut!

We're back.

Welcome back. How'd it go?

It was a disaster.

At least Ikegoshi-kun was happy
about it for some reason.

I hear you put on a wild, surprising show!

He'll probably faint
when he watches the episode.

Oh, dear.

This is all your fault, as*h*le!

Lies and slander.

Get this, Maki-san!

What's up?

This nudist screwed me out of a date!

Huh?

What're you talking about?

Not just once! Twice!

Say, Chisa.

What does he mean, date?

Oh, you didn't know?

She asked Iori to show her around.

What?

It went up in smoke thanks to
Imamura-kun, though.

Oh... okay.

Are you relieved?

No, not really!

I tried to stop him,
but he wouldn't listen.

I just stripped like we always do.

Like hell!

Even I would keep my clothes on
if someone begged me like that!

I swear...

- You did it on purpose,
you piece of sh*t!

- Ridiculous.

Say no to fighting.

What's wrong?

Oh, it's nothing.

Get back to work!

Dissolve the balance!

Evaporate the surface!

One wave of my magic wand...

and I become Magic Girl Lalako!

Kohei.

Cakey? I thought you went to bed.

I just wanted to ask you something.

And what's that?

It's not a big deal or anything, but...

Why'd you get in Iori's way today?

What are you talking about?

It was way too obvious.

You stripped even though
I told you off that much.

You think I did it to sabotage his date?

Yeah. Am I wrong?

Well, it's true that I can't stand
to see Kitahara happy.

Oh, yeah?

Just so we're clear...

You really do have the wrong idea about
that thing you asked me last night!

S-Sure, I'm partly to blame for acting
in a way that gave the wrong impression.

I just let the tropical hype
get to me a little.

You sure let that hype
take you to extremes.

Hey, not like playing the fool
is anything new for me!

You got that right, you moron.

Lay off me!

I'm going to sleep! Night!

Night.

Give me a break.

She really is a moron.

Even I can tell
she's truly in love with him.