07x09 - Joanie Busts Out

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

For the bathtub layout, I think we need Michelle.

Thank you, girls.

You're all lovely.

We'll use you later.

Bye-bye.

Chachi.

Yeah, right here, Jake.

Right here.

We're going to use Michelle for the nude shots.

Oh, what a wonderful choice.

Did you check the lights?

Yeah, they're back there somewhere.

You seem kind of young.

I hope I don't embarrass you.

You go right ahead.

Michelle will get a whole series of shots.

Some in the robe, some checking the water.

Most of the shots will come after you take the robe off.

Oh, Jake, you're a genius.

Michelle, go behind the screen and get changed, sweetheart.

Chachi.

Yes.

You've got to learn not to get so excited
when we do nude shots.

Oh, you're right, but I'm getting better.

At least you don't have to stuff a rag in my mouth anymore.

Holler when she's ready.

You got it.

How you doing back there?

Fine.

Need a hand?

No, no, thanks.

Chachi.

Yes.

Check the coffee order, would you?

Oh, hi, Fonz.

Chachi, what a waiting room you've got here.

I didn't get through one magazine.

There is a time and a place for everything.

My place, 8 O'clock, everything.

Whoa.

You got beautiful girls like that all day long?

I haven't noticed.

You haven't noticed?

No.

You must be working real hard.

Oh, like a dog.

It is very good.

You getting here on time?

Oh, early, Fonz.

Are you kidding?

Early.

I race here after school.

Proud.

I'm proud of you.

I'll drive you home on my bike, huh?

Oh, that would be nice, Fonz, but I'm
going to put in some extra time today.

You're putting in extra time?

What a kid, huh?

Oh, you're a Fonzarelli?

Oh, gosh, I hope so.

Michelle, aren't you ready yet?

Here I come.

Okay, let's go.

Oh, Jake, this is my cousin, Arthur Fonzarelli.

Hey, Fonzie, Jake.

Hello.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And who might you be?

I'm Michelle.

You certainly are.

Look, Jake, do you mind if he stays and watches?

No, fine, just please be quiet.

Like a mouse, like a mouse.

Okay, everybody ready?

Chachi, make sure the light stays right with me.

You ready, Michelle?

Let's go.

Wonderful, wonderful, darling.

Terrific, wonderful.

Is this a bathrobe bed?

I don't think so.

No, I don't think so either.

It's got many robes.

Okay, Michelle, drop the robes.

Oh, wait a minute.

Wait, wait, wait.

What are you doing?

Wait a minute.

I can't see anything, Fonz.

What's the matter?

Fonz?

What's the matter?

That girl happens to be naked.

How do you take a bath?

Without cameras, usually.

You mind if I talk to my young cousin here?

Go ahead.

Relax, Michelle.

Call me when you're ready, Chachi.

Right.

What do you think you're looking at?

A woman.

I got the hint when she dropped the robe.

What's the big deal?

So the guy shoots nudes.

Five minutes ago, you were proud of me.

Five minutes ago, everybody had their clothes on.

Five minutes ago, I thought you were sh**ting
something nice, you know, like little kids on ponies.

Oh, come on, Fonz, I mean... You
want to show this to your mother?

Huh?

That's great.

Oh, look, Mom, look what I did at work.

Ah!

Boom!

Down the floor.

Well, she's not going to see it.

That's right, and neither are you.

You're coming with me.

I can't leave without telling Jake.

You're absolutely right.

Jake!

Chachi is leaving.

Let's go.

Madam, have you no shame?

All I want to do is go to Chicago with Sally.

It's only for two days.

It's absolutely out of the question, no.

Oh, but we already have the tickets to the
Fabian concert, Mom, please.

No, Joanie.

It would be different if Sally's mother
was going to go with you.

Well, what for?

She doesn't even like Fabian.

Two young girls alone in a hotel room overnight, huh?

With a bunch of crazy conventioners
parading through the hallways in their underwear?

You told me you go to museums.

I do, but the others don't.

Listen, I don't want to hear another word about this.

You can't go to Chicago, and that's final.

Well, that's not fair.

I'm 17, and I never get to do what I want to do.

Really?

Well, I'm a little over 17, and I don't
always get to do what I want to do, either.

Where are you going?

Going upstairs to read.

It's getting a little noisy down here.

Now, wait a minute, Richard.

You're an adult now.

Now, what is your opinion?

Well, it's not an easy situation.

On the one hand, Joanie deserves to be
treated like an adult, but on the other

hand, two young girls alone in Chicago
might be kind of dangerous.

Although, Joanie's got to grow up
sometime, but I seem to remember that I

didn't get to go to Chicago on my own until I was 19.

They do say that women mature faster than men.

I did read something recently, though.

Thank you so much.

You've been such a...

Rich, I thought you'd be on my side.

I was.

Part of the time.

Well, I don't care what any of you say.

I'm going to start living my own life.

Even if I have to get out of here to do it.

But...

Kids are so impulsive.

Boy, I tell you, Marion, we failed with Joanie.

Oh, Howard, don't be silly.

No, it's true.

You know, with Richard, somehow we always
manage to teach him certain values.

But with Joanie, it just hasn't worked.

That's not true.

This is just a phase she's going through.

Being a 17-year-old girl is difficult.

Yeah, well, being the parrot of one is no picnic either.

Well, you'll see.

Everything is just going to work out fine.

You always say everything is just going to work out fine.

Just like you always say we're going to
win the Irish sweepstakes.

Well, somebody has to win.

Why not us?

Now, come on, dear.

Where are we going?

You have to drive me to the butcher.

Oh, I don't want to go to the butcher, Marion.

This is the butcher that keeps winking at me.

Oh?

Unless you want me to go alone.

Let's go to the butcher.

Hey, Mr. Sayers, what are you doing?

Richie here.

He's upstairs.

We'll see you later, boys.

Yeah.

We're going to the butcher.

Oh, dirty Mr. Shilkraut.

Richie!

Yeah, Fonz?

Get down here.

Okay.

All right, now you're going to get the word.

See, Richie's a writer.

They got insights into life, like Mickey Spillane.

Hey, Fonz.

Oh, hiya, Chach.

Hey, Rillings.

Don't talk to him.

Just tell him he can't do it.

Can't do what?

I'm not here to argue with you, Rich.

Just tell him he can't do it.

You can't do it.

I don't know.

Thank you.

No, wait.

Hey, Fonz.

Would you mind telling me now what I just
told him he couldn't do?

You gotta stick your nose in everything, don't you?

Fonzie wants me to quit my job.

Oh, but I thought you loved that job.

More than life itself.

Will you just stop that?

It so happens that the photographer he's assisting
is taking pictures of girls in their birthday suits.

Birthday suits?

You mean nude?

No.

I mean party hats and blowers.

Of course I mean nude.

Fonz, it really seems to me like you're overreacting.

No, I'm not.

It's my younger cousin.

He's still got baby teeth.

I don't want him to see that stuff.

Jake runs a classy operation.

Look, he's got brochures.

He validates parking.

He's got the brochure.

Look at this.

You don't see one nude in here.

He forgot to put the nudes in his brochure.

Look, we came for Richie's opinion, so let's get it.

All right, what do you think, b*tch?

It's not an easy situation.

A lot of people think that.

People think of nude photography as an art form, you know?

Well, on the other hand, Chachi is a little bit young.

There's nothing really dirty about the human body.

If people don't want my opinions,
why do they keep asking me?

Well, I guess it's not so bad.

I mean, if both our parents said we
couldn't go... How can you say that?

I am so tired of doing everything...
Everything they tell me to do.

I know.

I thought they outlawed sl*very in this country.

Not for teenagers.

What's this?

I don't know.

I haven't gotten a chance to look at it yet.

Oh, it's a photographer's brochure.

Jake Whitman.

Ooh.

Look, this guy photographs models for top magazines.

Yeah, you know, those models have a life.

Oh, look at those clothes.

You know something?

This is exactly the kind of thing I've been looking for.

Really?

Well, yeah.

Glamour and travel and men.

Clothes and money and men.

Is that all you ever think about?

Uh-huh.

Me too.

Hey, listen, you think your parents will
go for you being a model.

Well, I don't care what they think.

I'm going to make my own money and do what
I want when I want to do it.

I'll have everything I ever dreamed of.

And men.

Yeah, let's go look at those.

I think I've died and gone to heaven.

Wiki-waki-woo.

Excuse me.

You are the most beautiful woman I have
ever seen in my life.

Excuse me.

You are the most beautiful woman I have
ever seen in my life.

You are the most beaut... Oh, Chachi, you're looking good.

Hey, look, you guys better get out of here.

My boss will be coming out any minute.

Oh, sure, throw us out.

You've made it to the top, so now you turn
your back on your friends.

I'm not turning my back.

Pots, you understand, don't you?

Oh, sure, Chach, but it does look like a great job.

Oh, it is, it is.

Too bad I have to quit.

Quit?

You're going to quit?

Can you believe it?

Fonzie's making me.

Why?

Just because these girls pose nude.

Chachi!

Chachi!

Please!

Please give me the job!

I have to have this job!

Chachi, calm down!

Hey, what are you doing, Malph?

What about your self-respect?

What about your pride in yourself as a man?

Will you stop talking nonsense?

This is important.

Chachi!

Ralph!

Pots, are you getting mad at me?

Don't look at him, he's pathetic.

Could you at least put in a good word for
him with your boss?

For the models, I don't care which.

Okay, okay, only if you leave right now.

I'm leaving.

See me going?

Here I go.

You're going to put in the word.

The word is in, Malph.

Then I'm going.

Out the door.

I'm Peter Pan!

I'm flying!

Are you crazy?

Why are you still here?

You're going to ruin my chance.

Put in the good word.

It's in, it's in.

Okay, sweetheart, let's go to work.

Oh, uh, Jake, can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure, kid, sure.

Look, I'm sorry, Jake, but I got to quit.

You see, my cousin offered me this new opportunity.

If I leave here, I get to live.

All right.

Well, I'm sorry to lose you, Chachi.

I'll have to call the employment agency tomorrow.

I'll tell you what.

I know a guy who might take the job.

Good friend of mine.

Name is Ralph Malph.

You know what?

I don't think you'd have to pay him.

Fine, fine.

Just leave his number over on the desk,
and I'll call him when I get a chance.

I'm interviewing some new models.

Hey, do me a favor.

Send the next one in, okay?

All right, who's next?

Let's see.

Ralph Malph.

Ralph Malph.

Hey, Joanie.

Joanie!

Chachi, how are you?

What are you doing here?

Well, modeling.

What else?

Look, I don't think that's such a terrific idea.

Oh, Chachi, you're wrinkling my ruffles.

Look at your hair.

You look like a poodle.

Well, I don't care what you think.

I am going to do what I want to do, and
don't you dare tell anybody you saw me.

No, but listen, I really don't
think... And don't be a little fink.

I'm no fink.

I'm waiting.

Oh, here I come.

Oh, this is so exciting.

The world is going to see a brand new Joanie Cunningham.

Excuse me.

It sure is.

Every square inch of her.

Well, there you are, Fonz.

Hey, I thought I'd make my own.

Listen, Fonz, I got... Wait a minute.

Yeah, there's something else I'm good at.

This is important.

What I need to know is...

If a person finds out something about someone, should
he tell someone else or should he just keep it to himself?

You mean whether you should think on somebody or not?

Tell me the details, leave out the names,
I'll give you my decision.

Okay.

Somebody we know is modeling for Jake.

Well, whoever it is, it's her business.

Just let it go, right?

Those are my thoughts.

Okay.

I guess I won't tell Richie either.

What are you going to tell Richie for?

Why does he care?

Because it's Joanie.

Joanie is modeling?

You mean without the shortcake?

Why didn't you tell me?

Wait.

Where's Richie?

Huh?

Using your phone.

He's using my phone.

What's with the Fonzie?

Made me lose my place completely.

All right, just got to tell Richie some news, that's all.

He's a little upset.

I guess I look pretty silly next to all
these gorgeous women.

Nonsense.

It's just a different look.

More girl next door.

I eat a lot of apple pie.

I think you're terrific.

You want to make some test shots?

Sure.

Great.

Go behind the screen, get undressed,
and come out on the set.

Okay.

Bernice, Bernice, you look lovely.

Excuse me, Bernice.

Mr. Whitman, there's no costume back there.

Of course there's no costume.

We're doing nude shots.

Nude?

You mean naked nude?

Sure.

That doesn't bother you, does it?

Bother me?

Are you kidding?

I was born nude.

That's the spirit.

You know, some of these magazines pay a
lot of money for nude shots, up to $5,000.

Wow.

Will I get to leave Milwaukee?

Milwaukee?

Milwaukee?

Some of these girls travel all over the world.

Fantastic.

You ready to sh**t now?

Oh, all over the world.

I don't even get to go to Chicago.

You will now.

Sir?

What's the matter?

Uh, well, I don't want to.

What?

Well, I don't want to.

Oh, wow.

Oh.

You're so tall.

Tall and beautiful.

Uh, uh, uh, it's not that I'm afraid.

It's just that I have to go home.

And wash my cat.

Yeah.

He's got drugs to himself.

Well, maybe some other time.

Sure, sure.

Anytime.

Uh, don't be a stranger.

Okay, bye.

All right, Carol.

Go behind the screen, get changed,
then we'll take some nice shots.

Call me when you're ready, okay?

Okay, dad.

Fonzie.

Yeah, yeah.

There's your sweater.

Where?

On top of that screen.

Yeah, come on.

Hey, are you sure that's her sweater?

Of course I'm sure.

I gave her the sweater for Christmas.

She took off her Christmas sweater?

All right, let's go.

No, Fonzie, Fonzie, I better do it.

Why?

My sister.

Get ready.

Yeah, right.

Cunningham.

Here I go.

All right, now just what do you think you're... Holy moly.

Richie, that is your sister.

Fonz, that's not Joanie.

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

This one is... I mean, she's
got... With the... This girl...

Holy moly.

What's going on out there?

Oh, listen, I'm... I'm very sorry.

I... I didn't mean to barge in on you like that.

It's okay.

Thank you.

Okay, let's go.

You see, I... I thought you might...

Because I saw her sweater on top of the screen, you know.

So I thought that maybe you were her.

You're not.

Cunningham, let's go.

Fonz, I'm talking to someone.

Excuse me, what?

So, uh, how long have you been doing this kind of work?

All right, all right, that's it.

Here.

Here's your sweater, all right?

Excuse me, his name is Richard Cunningham.

Numbers in the book.

Give him a jingle, will you?

How long have you been doing this kind of work?

Fonz.

Yeah.

Gee, it's deafening.

Oh, holy moly.

Yeah.

There she is.

There she is.

Oh, look at her, Fonz.

Sitting there like nothing happened.

I can't believe that she went to that kind of studio.

Fonzie, you know, you're not taking this very well.

I'm not taking this well.

I'm not the guy that ran out screaming his
head off out of harm.

All right, we're both not taking it well.

I'm taking this well.

I take everything.

Fine, you're taking it well.

I'm not.

What are you going to do?

I'm going upstairs.

I'm going to lie down and I'm going to think of the past.

I'm going to imagine Joanie in her little chipmunk uniform.

I don't even think I can go out tonight.

Wow.

Hi, Joanie.

Oh, hi.

Anything exciting happen today?

Well, just hanging around.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Just hanging around, huh?

Yeah.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Then why did I find this in Jake Whitman's studio, huh?

Can you tell me that?

Huh?

Well.

You in Jake Whitman's studio, Joanie.

I'm so depressed.

I'm so depressed.

Now, just wait a minute, okay?

I was there.

I thought it would be fun.

Fun?

Fun is for people with their clothes on.

Richie, I didn't know he did nude pictures, honest.

Oh, you didn't know?

Of course I didn't know, and as soon as I
found out, I left.

You left?

Of course I left.

Oh, what a relief.

Well, then you believe me?

Sure, of course.

I believe you.

I mean, I wouldn't think that you would
ever, you know, do that, no.

Well, if you didn't think I'd do that,
then why'd you go to Jake's studio?

I went to Jake's studio because I had to get your sweater.

Here it is.

Chachi snitched, didn't he?

All right, look, don't be upset at Chachi, all right?

If you're going to be upset at anyone,
I guess you should be upset at me.

Well, what for?

Well, for thinking even for a second that, uh...

that you would ever pose for that guy.

I forgive you.

So now that it's over and done with,
I don't think you should tell Mom.

Absolutely.

What are we doing?

Shh!

Shut up!

Are you going to do eavesdrop on your own kids?

Of course!

How else do you think I find things out?

Joanie, what made you decide not to do it?

Do what?

Well, I was standing there and he told me he could
pay $5,000 and I really thought of doing it for a minute.

Doing what?

And then I heard Dad's voice.

All those years of him and Mom telling me
what's right and what's wrong.

I never even thought I was listening.

But I guess I was.

It's hard not to listen to Dad.

He talks so loud.

I know.

Look, I'll tell you.

First thing we ought to do is go up and talk to Fonzie.

The man is not feeling well right now.

Oh, my God.

And then I'll take you down to Arnold's
and I'll buy you a drink.

You mean pay for it and everything?

Sure, those are all $5,000.

I had to run all the way from the garage.

Oh, that's great.

We're going to go up and talk to Fonzie for a minute.

Then we're going to Arnold's, all right?

See you later.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

Bye.

That was close.

Now, you see that, Howard?

We didn't fail Joanie.

Isn't that nice?

Yeah, but we don't even know what they
were talking about, Mary.

But we know that she didn't do it and it was because of us.

That's all we need to know.

You know what I like best?

The fact that you had faith in her all along.

Well, I told you everything would work out all right.

Oh, Howard!

Huh?

This is our look from the... The diary sweeps.

Oh, open it, Mary, open it.

It always is.

What is it?

A return for insufficient postage.

You know something?

It doesn't matter.

It's been a perfect day anyway.

I'm sorry.

So sorry.

There you are, little smut brain.

Smut brain?

The only reason I open my mouth is because
I care about you.

Yeah?

Oh, thanks, Chachi.

Just don't let it happen again.

Sit down, Joe.

Have a soda or something.

Hey, Fonz.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Fonz.

How you doing?

Oh, Ralph.

Listen, uh, you gotta tell me.

How are things going down at the, uh, ha, ha, ha, studio?

I was fired.

And for what, I ask you?

Jake called him Kevin.

He was kissing the negatives.

I told him, and I'm telling you,
I was only cleaning the negatives.

With your mouth?

Oh.

Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, wait.

Oh, yeah?

Well, just for that, I'm not gonna show you the pictures.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Come on.

Come on.

Beautiful.

Yes.

Thank you.

These happy days are yours and mine, these
happy days are yours and mine, happy days.