07x16 - Joanie's Dilemma

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

A-wing-a-way, a-wing-a-way, a-wing-a-way, a-wing-a-way,
a-wing-a-way, a-wing-a-way, a-wing-a-way, a-wing-a-way.

There you go, Rich.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, it's good stuff.

Hi, Linda Sue.

What's the story with Linda Sue Crutchfield?

She's not Linda Sue anymore.

She's into beat poetry and changed her name to Dawn.

She does look like she got up too early this morning.

The Cauldrons of Capitalistic Caffeine My
mind is a kite caught in a tree.

Dog collars graze my eyes.

Can Venetian blinds really see?

That's the essence, man.

And here, my little bird of the night,
is a copy of my poem, Ode to Nothing.

What do you say we have an Espresso and
discuss the inner meanings of nothingness?

A simple no would have been all right.

And she can forget the Espresso.

Gee, she memorized that fast.

Not a lot of laughs.

All right, Al, what do you think?

Well, Ralph, I understood the dog collars,
but you lost me with the Venetian blinds.

Come on, Al.

It's the 1960s.

Gotta stay up with the times.

Wait.

Some guy must have given a girl a ring.

It's gonna be a hot time at old Inspiration Point tonight.

Used to be when you gave a girl a ring,
she'd give you a kiss.

A ring today means straight to the Alamo.

That's right.

That's right.

You mean to go to Texas?

Texas?

No, no, Al.

The Alamo is a special part of Inspiration Point.

They have no streetlights there.

But why do they call it the Alamo?

Oh, because it's so much fun to, uh... Remember the Alamo.

I should have paid more attention to Rosa Coletti.

One night she said, Alamo.

I put ice cream on her pie.

Hi, guys.

You like it?

Hi, Joanie.

Hey, Rich.

Joanie's wearing a guy's ring.

Joanie, what is this?

I mean, you k*lled your... It's...

Who?

What?

Why?

Where?

Where?

Settle down.

I wouldn't want you to bust anything.

It's Jason's.

He gave it to me this morning.

Will you give it right back?

You are too young to wear a guy's ring.

Wait a minute, Rich.

Remember you just said it was the 60s.

You gotta go with the times.

Right.

We go with the times.

Sisters do not go with the times.

Listen, Rich, I'm a senior in high school, and so is Jason.

I don't care.

You give that ring right back.

Joanie, look, there are implications.

I know, and tonight I get to find out if they're true.

Remember.

Will you guys can it?

I don't understand how you can just say it out like that.

Oh, really, Rich, I'm not a child.

And what's that supposed to mean?

That's for me to know and you to find out.

What do you suppose she meant by that?

Hi, Jason.

Hi, Joanie.

Will you look at that?

Kissing in public.

I think that is disgraceful.

Rich, forget public.

Worry about private.

Hey, get a hold of yourself, Rich.

Come on.

Look, I got to do something.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

All right.

Write that down.

That is the fastest way to pick up a new chick.

Tomorrow we will discuss the use of
station wagons other than carpooling.

Class dismissed.

Hey, thanks, Fonz.

Thanks, Fonz.

Hey, whoa.

Hey, what's going on, Fonz?

The youth.

Education.

I've got a responsibility to teach the youth.

All right.

The Fonz teaching how to make time with chicks?

Oh, can I join?

Yeah, I'll check the availability on my
underachievers class.

What are you in, some kind of trance or something?

No.

No, no.

Some guy gave Joanie his ring.

Some guy gave Joanie his ring?

The Alamo.

Remember?

Hey, Mal.

When did you first go to the Alamo?

Oh, well, I was on the third with my thumb.

When?

More than the third with my thumb.

Mal, do you got a speaker?

All right, I'm going tonight.

I'm telling you, of course, of course, I
know exactly why we can't solve this problem.

Why, Fonz?

It's not our problem.

Good point.

It's your mother's problem.

Mom?

That's right.

Girls talk.

Oh, if I couldn't tell Mom, though,
I mean, that would be embarrassing.

You've got two choices.

You talk to Mrs. C, or you talk to Joanie.

Now, I hope Mom's home.

Yeah.

Oh, wait, Joanie.

If it was me, I would just die.

Aren't you excited about going to the Alamo tonight?

Well, yeah.

You know, there's no written law about
parking back there in the Alamo.

I mean, who is there?

Well, maybe you ought to tell Jay-Z.

Oh, I mean, is there a place where you
could park in your house, and you don't want to?

You wouldn't dare.

Oh, you're right.

He'll probably never go out with me again.

Kissing's simple in Oklahoma.

You just had to find a place that wasn't too dusty.

A girl does have to be careful when it
comes to her reputation.

Do I have a nice reputation?

You do now.

But what about after tonight?

Of course, a girl's got to be careful what she does.

Oh, if you're too chicken.

Chicken.

I'm not chicken.

Well, I'm just glad it's a decision I don't have to make.

Yeah.

Don't you look delicious?

Now you just sit there, keep yourself warm.

I finished making the sauce.

Now let's see the chicken stock and the
butter and the seasoning and one cup of wine.

Okay.

Stir.

Nice, sweetheart.

Oh, Howard.

I am making coq au vin.

Oh, really?

Well, you just be careful.

Do you remember what happened the last
time you cooked in wine sauce?

No, I don't remember.

Exactly.

Howard, now you wash up because we're
going to eat as soon as the children get home.

Oh, honey, I haven't got time to eat.

I've got to go down to the Leopard Lodge.

I'm up for the Father of the Year Award.

Howard, oh, I am so proud of you.

Yeah, why don't you come on with me?

It'll create a good impression.

No, I can't.

I'm right in the middle of dinner.

We'd only be a little while.

I just have to be interviewed by the wife
of the Grand Poobah and the Vice Poobah.

Poopy doopy.

Oh, Howard, I will go with you.

Let me just finish this sauce and then I'll be ready.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes, a cup of wine.

There, that'll do it.

Now, let's see.

Mom, oh, Mom, listen.

You have got to talk to her right away.

It is very, very important.

Right away?

All right, dear, I promise.

Good.

Who?

Joanie, Mom.

You've got to talk to Joanie.

All right, Richard.

Well, why?

Well, look, Mom, I don't know quite how to say
this, but you know that guy that Joanie's been dating?

Oh, jeez.

And he's a lovely boy.

Yeah, sure, lovely boy, up until now.

From here on out, it's deep water time,
Mom, and I think Joanie's in over her head.

Well, Richard, your sister's always been a good swimmer.

Sit down, Mom.

See, today, Joanie started wearing Jason's ring.

I'm going to start again, Mom.

All right, look, do you know Inspiration Point?

Know it?

I was there at the dedication.

Well, then, you know how it's divided up
into different sections, you know?

And we've given each section its own little name.

Oh, Richard, that's so cute.

Yeah.

So, anyway, you know, the younger kids,
that includes Joanie.

Why, they go to a place we call Boot Camp.

Why do you call it Boot Camp?

It's where you go to learn the ropes.

Oh.

And where do you go?

Mom, it's... Richard.

Mason Dixon.

It's where the girls draw the line.

And Arthur?

Little Bighorn.

No survivors?

Okay, I get it.

No, no, Mom, that's not even the point.

You see, the point is that now that Joanie is wearing Jason's
ring, why, she thinks it's all right to go to the Alamo.

That's another section of the... Yeah, it's so much
fun to remember, you see, but we didn't go to the Alamo

until we were in college, and Joanie's in high school,
and I know it's the 60s, but it's very dark there, Mom.

I think it's very important that
you... I'll talk to her right away.

Richard.

No, I promised your father I would go to the Leopard Lodge.

Daddy is up for Father of the Year.

Okay, sweetheart, I'm all set, let's go.

Oh, hi, Richard.

Okay, Dad, let's go.

Aren't you going with me, Marion?

I'm gonna have a mother-daughter talk with Joanie.

Good, it's about time.

Two things, her skirts are too short, and
she's thinking about having a rear spirit.

Come on, Dad, we mustn't be late.

Mom, the Alamo.

So much fun to remember.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, Joanie, uh, did you have a good day, dear?

It was okay.

Good.

Is something bothering you, dear?

Why, just because I'm eating ice cream?

No, because you're eating it with a bottle opener.

Yeah, there is something.

Hmm, what's that smell?

Oh, this is my chicken wine sauce.

Joanie, would you taste this?

Let's see what you think about it.

Mmm, that's good.

Oh, it's getting there?

Now, what did you want to talk about?

Well, something happened today.

Jason gave me his ring.

There's a commitment that goes with that ring?

Well, it's about going up to the Alamo.

You see, Polly says don't go, and Bunny
says maybe go, and Vanessa says go, go.

Now, what do you think, Joanie?

Oh, Mom, I don't know what to think.

Well, I push for Polly and the don't go.

Mom, I may want to go-go.

Uh-oh.

Joanie, Joanie, this is just so nice.

I like having our real mother sauce talk.

Mom, that's mother-daughter.

That, too.

Well, how about you and Dad?

I mean, how did you know he was the one?

Well, I liked him for a couple of things.

I liked his laugh.

I said to myself, do you want to live the
rest of your life with...

I sure did.

And what else, Mom?

And I liked his walk.

Yeah, Jason has a real nice smile.

Mom, I like him so much.

I just, I want to do something for him.

Bake him some cookies.

Come on, Mom, I'm serious.

So am I.

Oh, Joanie, times have changed.

But people, people haven't.

You just do what's right.

Oh, the table moved.

Mom, I think we ought to eat something.

Well, we are.

We're having chicken sauce and wine here.

I don't remember having any chicken, Mom.

Neither did I, and the sauce is almost gone.

Oh, Mama, I don't know what to do.

Jason will be here soon, and I'm still all confused.

Half of me feels like an adult, and the other
half wants you to tell me I can't go out tonight.

Oh, my little baby's growing up.

Oh, I know that you're gonna do the right thing tonight.

I have confidence in you.

Oh, you're so bright.

I love you.

Oh!

My two favorite damsels in distress.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, Mr. Cunningham,
you are the Leopard Lodge Father of the Year.

I couldn't agree more.

Oh!

Thank you.

Thank you.

The Father of the Year.

I am one proud son.

However.

What's that?

There is one small formality.

Yes, we need to meet the rest of your family.

Oh, well, why not right now?

I know they're home because they're having
a mother-daughter talk.

Dad, don't you suppose you ought to call
Mom just to let her know we'll be dropping in?

Don't be silly.

Mom loves surprises.

I'll help you carry this.

Oh, Arthur, I think this wine sauce has gone sour.

It's coffee, Mom.

Yeah, right.

Hey, bottoms up there, Mrs. Sears.

Oh, I gotta get ready for my date with Jason.

Yeah, right, about that date.

We could throw in Peters.

I haven't thought about him in years.

Let's toast him.

Oh, my ring.

My ring is gone.

All right, we'll talk while we're looking for it.

We'll also toast Peters at the greatest dips.

Come on, Arthur.

All right, I'll make you trade.

I'll make you trade.

Two dips for two sips, all right?

Here we go.

All right.

All right.

All right, Mrs. Sears, here you go.

Sip.

Good girl.

And one more.

Sip.

Ladies, you're just going to love my wife.

And she's such a wonderful mother.

Come on, big guy.

Let's come on, big guy.

All right.

Here we go.

Let's go dip over here.

Nice.

Dip over here.

Look under the table, Joanie.

Marion!

Fonzie!

Joanie!

Mom!

This is for June Howard.

It'll cost her a thing.

She's tipsy.

It's the chicken.

She's entertaining a who?

Plum.

Hey.

Disgusting.

Disgraceful.

Now, wait a minute.

Will you grab your mother?

My ring.

Oh, she's slipping.

Oh, it's an orgy.

You're through with the lodge.

Wrinkle toes, p*nis.

Oh, I wasn't brought to this place just to be here.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Thanks very much.

Now, Mr. C, if you don't mind, I will
take these two ladies out of the car.

Here we go.

One slips in front of the other.

You're doing great.

Oh, yeah.

There you go.

All right.

All right, Marion, I want some answers.

Oh, Howard, I never knew that food could
be so intoxicating.

You never could hold your chicken, Marion.

I did my best.

We sat here at this table and we just let our hair down.

Yeah, but what about your talk, huh?

Well, we had a wonderful talk.

We talked about everything, me and you and your
laugh and your walk and her future and Twinkle Toes Peters.

Oh, will you forget about Twinkle Toes Peters?

What about Joanie?

Oh, Howard.

I put my money on her.

Yeah, well, I'm putting my foot down.

I don't think she should go out tonight.

Oh, Howard.

Now, we've done our best to teach Joanie what's right.

Now, I think we ought to let her make her own decisions.

Well, she's so young, Marion.

Maybe if I had a talk with her, huh?

Oh, Howard.

What can you say in one evening that you
haven't said all these years?

Well, you're right.

I sure miss the days when I could send her up to her room.

Oh.

Oh, what round is this?

Have another cup of coffee.

Oh, I'll get it.

That must be Jason.

Oh, hi, Jason.

Come on in.

Hi, how you doing?

Hello.

Hello, Jason.

Uh, Mom, Dad, can I talk to Jason a minute?

Oh, sure.

Come on, sweetheart.

My money's on you.

Yeah.

We'd better get going, don't you think?

The g*ng will wonder where we are.

Jason, I don't care about the g*ng.

I don't understand.

Well, Vanessa and Bunny are saying I'm chicken if I don't
go to the Alamo, and Polly's telling them I'm crazy if I do.

Joanie, I... Let me finish.

Someday, maybe we'll go to the Alamo, and then maybe not.

But that's for me to decide, not for Bunny
or Polly or Vanessa or anybody else.

You don't want to go?

No.

Oh, Joanie, I was so relieved.

You know, Bill and Chuck put me through the same thing.

Well, why didn't you tell me?

I thought... They'd call me a
chicken if we didn't go to the Alamo.

Aren't we stupid?

Yeah.

Next time, we'll do what we want.

Right.

Well, here, Jason, here's your ring back.

Yeah.

We'll get a fresh start.

Right.

Want to go to the movie Saturday?

I'd love to.

Joanie, I had a great evening.

Joanie?

Okay, bucko, stay away from my sister.

You want to see the Alamo?

You go to Texas.

What's eating you?

I'll tell you what's eating me.

I happen to be the older brother to this sister.

I gave Jason his ring back.

You're my kind of guy.

Yeah.

Now, where were you two?

Bye, Jason.

See you Saturday night.

See you.

See you, Jason.

See you.

I'll tell you.

That's a nice young fella.

Yeah.

Joanie, listen, about tonight, I mean, I think I
was trying to... Well, I probably went a little... Rich.

Yeah?

You stuck your nose in where it didn't belong.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I learned my lesson.

I mean, you're older now, so from now on,
I'll just stay out of the way.

That's all.

Hey, big brother.

Yeah?

Well, about next time.

You better be there.

All right, I will.

Well, I don't know where it happened,
but somewhere along the line, you grew up.

Thank you.

Hey, am I late?

I gave his ring back, Fonz.

You gave his ring back.

Hey, Cunningham.

Yeah?

I think we raised her right.

Cunningham never mentioned.

Point.

No.

Two.

Three.

I only went out with him three times.

What a Dipper.

How come you stopped going with him?

He was trampled to death by a conga line.

I find that hard to believe, Marion.

How are you kidding?

Yeah, you still got your sense of humor
while I lost being father of the year to Fred Brill.

Okay.

Attention, everybody.

Joanie's got an announcement to make.

Joanie?

We would like to present Howard Cunningham.

Our father of the year award.

Now, isn't that beautiful?

Well, I just don't know what to say except that I'm glad
you married me, sweetheart, instead of Twinkle Toes Peter.

Like gray skies Hello, blue Nothing can
hold me When I hold you It feels so right.

It can't be wrong Rockin' and rollin' All
week long These days are ours Happy and

free Oh, happy days These days are ours
Share them with me Oh, baby These happy

days are yours and mine These happy days
are yours and mine Happy days.