07x24 - The Roaring Twenties

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

Oh, Lori Beth, I just can't come over tonight.

Well, I'm still trying to finish typing up my report.

I'll tell you the truth.

My dad's Uncle Joe is over here, and, uh...

Well, he's old, you know.

I gotta kind of keep an eye out on him.

Yeah, Lori Beth, can you hear this?

Huh?

Yeah, that's him.

I'm afraid if I get too close to him,
he'll suck up my homework.

Well, yeah.

No, he never stops.

He stopped.

All right, all right, Lori Beth, I'll call you back, okay?

Joe, Uncle Joe?

What, what, what, what, what?

Is there a fire?

No, no, there's no fire.

It's just, uh, uh, you stopped snoring.

You woke me up to tell me that?

Yeah, it's silly of me.

I'm sorry.

Oh, uh, Uncle Joe, would you care for a cookie?

Why not?

You know, it's funny, Richie.

When you were a little fella, I used to give you cookies,
and now here we are, and you're giving me cookies.

Yeah.

Must be the same cookie.

I hear you used to change my diapers, too.

Yeah, well, that makes me one-up on you.

What is all that stuff?

Oh, that's my journalism report that I'm working on.

It's on the 1920s.

You know, uh, Prohibition and jazz.

Oh, that was my heyday.

I was hot stuff in those days.

I was young, I had dark hair, and in order
to slick back, I looked like George Raft.

Oh, come on.

Well, I did.

I used to tango to a dog.

Come on, I'll show you.

Boom!

Zach!

Better with a girl.

Well, what is it?

Uncle Joe, would you be interested in,
uh, in reading my report?

Your report?

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah, it's your report, huh?

Ah... Uh, well, that's wrong.

What?

That's wrong, huh?

They're all wrong.

Uncle Joe, you're messing up my report.

I'm sorry, son, but I was there.

Yeah, I saw what was going on.

The real facts.

Tell me, you ever heard of Cecil Cunningham?

No.

Oh, of course you haven't.

You don't even know how to tango.

Right, all right, Uncle Joe.

Who was Cecil Cunningham?

Cecil Cunningham was my cousin.

He was the brightest and most dedicated district attorney
I've ever had in this town, and you favor him a lot.

I do?

Yes, you do.

Now, you sit down, and I'm going to tell
you a story that'll have you begging for more.

All right.

Well, here we go.

It was back during the roaring 20s.

Flappers, jazz, bathtub gin, the Charleston, whack.

The whole country was caught up in a party
that lasted more than a decade.

Well, the big w*r had just ended.

The boys were back from over there.

People decided to go on a nonstop spree.

There'd never been anything like it.

The Prohibition became law in January 1920
and liquor was ill*gal.

But that didn't stop the monsters.

They made hooch and sold it for a lot of money.

And a lot of people ended up getting rubbed out.

There was a saloon keeper named Eddie,
an honest businessman, much like your own

dad, until Prohibition put him and Cecil
On opposite sides of the wall,

Cousin Cecil Cunningham has just joined the DA's office.

On opposite sides of the wall, Cousin Cecil
Cunningham has just joined the DA's office.

On opposite sides of the wall, Cousin Cecil
Cunningham has just joined the DA's office.

I told you to throw him out the door.

I was k*lling a fly, boss.

Uh-oh, here comes my wife.

I thought you broke up, boss.

We did, but she won't leave me alone.

Coach Boo's liquor will only make you sicker, and
gin and scotch and rye will make your mother cry.

Hi, Mom.

My daughter!

Oh!

Betty, the shame of it!

How do you come out of here?

Now, wait just a minute.

You know, she happens to be my daughter, too.

Oh, cover yourself.

Come, child, this man is sick.

Let's leave this den of iniquity.

Cigar will make you m*rder, Cigar.

And gin and scotch and rye will make your mother cry.

Extra, extra, read all about it!

Hey, let me see that.

D.A.

Cecil Cunningham closes another speakeasy.

Paper, mister?

Why, I already read it.

Big sport!

That's the fourth speak Cunningham's closed.

Yeah, I just hope he doesn't show up here.

Yeah.

It's the D.A.!

Quick, hide everything!

I'll get the coffee.

Ginger, you're on.

Thank you.

This is a rant.

I don't want to go to Ginger's house.

Nobody move.

Chief, you moved.

Welcome to the Kit Kat Club, Mr. Cunningham.

Purvis, check those cups.

Right.

China.

What's in them?

Yeah, just as I thought.

Purvis, this is coffee.

Yeah?

I never drank it before.

It's not bad.

All right, so you weaseled out of it this time.

But I'm going to be back.

I'm going to ride you like you were man O' w*r.

I'll be back again and again and again.

Good, boss.

I like this place, too.

Purvis, let's blow this joint.

Let's blow this joint.

Hey, wait outside for me, all right?

I want to talk to Ginger.

No, boss, don't do it.

She's no good for you.

You're wrong, Purvis.

Her heart belongs to me.

Her heart, sure, but the rest of her keeps
going out with all the other guys.

She's, she's cheap.

Is that any way for you to talk about your own sister?

Get out of the car.

And don't play with the siren.

No, I won't play with the siren.

Hiya, Miss Ginger.

Gee, it's swell seeing you again.

You're looking something special.

Thanks.

I'm Cecil.

Remember, we went together for four years.

Get your hands off her, D.A.

She's not your girl anymore.

She belongs to Spax.

Hold it, hold it.

Don't panic.

He's not here now.

Oh, so that's the way it is, huh?

You and Spax.

I'm not ashamed.

I feel sorry for you, Ginger.

There goes Cecil.

What was his last name?

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Ginger Yard, fellas.

Yeah, what is it?

It's Spatz!

Spatz, I thought you were still in Chicago.

Would you like your usual table?

Here you go, Spatz.

Drink okay?

Food okay?

Is it okay if I'm four months behind on my
protection payments?

It's not okay.

I can't help it, Spatz.

You see, it's that D.A.

Cunningham.

Every time I hear that name, I get a rash.

You understand me?

See, this Cunningham, he's already raided
four of my places.

Now, I'm not getting enough protection from you, Spatz.

Maybe you're going soft.

I think I heard the word soft.

Well, I was only... I was only repeating what he said.

I got good news for you.

Cunningham...

He's dead.

When?

Tomorrow.

Are you gonna rub him out?

No, I'm not gonna rub him out.

I just had a manicure.

Well, who then?

Who else is mean and tough enough?

I know a guy.

Bad.

Bad.

Sniff.

Spats.

All right, don't lick my fingers.

I got a job for you, bad.

I want you to give somebody a hug for me.

The assistant DA, Cunningham.

A hug?

What good is a hug gonna do?

Bad.

A table over there.

Think of Cunningham.

Give it a hug.

You're a good boy.

Here's a dollar.

Tomorrow, that table is Cunningham.

Ooh.

Tonight, we're late for the uproar.

All right, Ginger, you're on.

All right.

Would you get the lights, Purvis?

Oh, right, boss.

What do you mean?

And give me that file on the Kit Kat Club.

Here they are, boss.

Can't we knock off early tonight, Chief?

I don't feel well.

Hey, we don't knock off until we got this town cleaned up.

You understand?

But I can't take the pressure anymore, boss.

All those hoods out there.

How long can our luck hold out?

I'm not afraid of those cheap two-bit hoodlums.

Not afraid, huh?

So what's this?

It came with the suit.

Don't sit in my chair, Purvis.

No, boss, no.

You may not be afraid, boss, but I am.

You know, those Tommy g*ns don't always
sh**t so straight, and I'm always next to you.

You're getting twitchy, Purvis.

Yeah, yeah, you better take the rest of the night off.

Yeah, give yourself some recreation.

Go dancing.

What about you?

Nah, dance with a girl.

You'll have more fun.

Thanks, 3X.

You read all about it.

Spatz puts contract out on Cunningham.

Huh, you see, you see?

And his assistant, Purvis.

Big turnout expected for funeral.

Mayor has plans to attend.

Yeah.

How about that?

The mayor's coming to our funeral.

Paper, mister?

Why should I?

I already read it.

He must be doing this wrong.

Don't you see that?

You see, they're gonna get us, boss.

No, they're not gonna get us, Purvis,
because we're gonna get them first.

Yeah, we're going down to the Kit Kat Club.

You and me, right now, we're gonna clean them out.

He'll just hide the booze again.

You're right.

So this time, we don't knock.

Come on.

This is another ring.

Everybody freeze.

Now, wait a minute, Sergeant.

She's okay.

Thanks, Seymour.

Cecil.

My name is Cecil.

I keep telling you, Cecil, Cecil, Cecil.

Take her down and book her.

James.

Extra, extra, read all about it.

D.A.

Seymour Cunningham closes Kit Kat Club.

It's Cecil, I'm telling you, it's Cecil.

Nobody gets my name right.

Hey, Bear, get a load of this.

It's not food.

Bear, he beat us to the punch and Spatz is gonna be mad.

Listen, you gotta get Cunningham.

Do it your special way.

A hug.

Get him, boy.

Can I help you?

Bear, Bear, go ahead and have the hug.

Anything but the hug.

Oh, no, Bear.

Oh, Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

Bear.

It's a little card that goes up and down.

Oh!

Ah!

No, Spats!

It won't look good on your record!

No!

I'm still alive!

Why'd you do that?

I wanted to show you how close you just came.

I don't get it.

You see this badge?

You a member of the d*ck Tracy fan club, too?

I'm the cover man for the, uh, FBI.

Spats is in the FBI?

Why don't you say it a little louder?

Canada didn't hear you.

If I don't let you out that window,
the mob will know I'm an Asian.

I got an idea.

We dress Purvis to look like me, see?

We throw him out the window.

No, don't cut it, kid.

Don't cut it.

Ah, yeah.

What do I be in a yellow belly for?

You're just trying to do your job.

Yeah, you got moxie, kid.

You got moxie.

I'm sorry that life just looked at you and went...

Yeah, that sidewalk's got my name written on it, all right.

But listen, give this watch to my mother, will ya?

It's hers, anyway.

Okay, I will.

You got a lot of bounce.

Now let's see just how much.

Hey, hey, if you read all about it,
prohibition ends, booze is legal,

Spatz really FBI agent.

You hear that?

You know what?

You know what that means?

Yeah, I'm out of work.

Why would you help me out?

Yeah, you're causing a crowd down there.

You make it?

Yeah, thanks.

Come on.

I came mighty close to cashing him in on that one.

Yeah, almost a big sleep, huh?

Maybe that awning down there would have broken my fall.

Good thing we didn't have to find out, huh?

Back from eating, boss.

Pause it, Spatz.

Look out, I'll get him.

No,

that awning wouldn't have held you a minute.

So that was the end of Purvis?

Well, not quite.

Well, what about Spatz, huh?

What happened to him?

Well, Spatz and Ginger moved out west to
live with his sister.

She married a merchant marine named Fonzarelli.

Fonzarelli?

Fonzie and Spatz were related?

Oh, that's incredible.

I can't wait to tell them.

What?

What's so funny?

Gotcha, didn't I?

Are you telling me that whole story, that
whole story was something you made up?

No, no, only the funny parts.

I didn't want to bore you.

But all the things I told you about Cecil,
they were all true.

And if you don't believe me, you can look
it up in all the old newspapers.

Oh, no, no, I believe you.

All that happened to my family, that's something.

Well, there was a lot of excitement.

The trouble is that young people just
don't seem to be interested.

I'm interested.

Yeah.

Yeah, I got all kinds of questions I want to ask you.

And from now on, when I come visit you,
I'm not going to just bring some magazine,

because I want to find out about my family.

You know, all the relatives that I never got to meet.

You're a nice boy, Richard, and I like
you, and you come over any time you like.

But you might be in for a surprise.

Some of those relatives of yours...

Well, those might be the most interesting stories.

Now, you got to tell me how Purvis
survived that fall out of the window.

Well, now, that was amazing.

It so happened that Babe Ruth was making a
personal appearance right in that same neighborhood.

He happened to be passing the building
when Purvis fell out.

The big babe put out his arms, made a
circus catch, and he saved Purvis's life.

Babe Ruth?

Yeah.

And Purvis?

Yeah.

Oh, that is, that's amazing.

Babe Ruth and Purvis...

Got me again, didn't you?

Have a cookie.

And that's how your great-great-aunt Minerva came
west from Pennsylvania in a covered wagon with no man.

She started the Cunningham family right here in Milwaukee.

Oh.

Oh, well, how did she start a family with no man?

You're pretty sharp, aren't you?

Now we're all set.

Yeah, Uncle Joe, we got your bags loaded up in the car.

Well, let's get started.

Uncle Joe, I baked you an apple pie to take along.

Yeah, I was very thoughtful of you.

But there's a piece missing.

Now, why is it that everyone always looks at me, huh?

Was it good?

Delicious.

Come on, Uncle Joe.

We'll walk you to the DeSoto.

Now, Uncle Joe, you sure you wouldn't like
to stay a couple more years?

No, no, I've got a million things to do.

I've got my card parties and dancing lessons.

Oh, and what dance are you learning?

Oh, I'm not learning.

I'm teaching.

Oh.

The tango.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

These happy days are closing lines, happy days.

Like grey sky, hello blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right, it can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

These days are on.

Free and free.

Happy days, these days are mine.

Tell them with me, oh baby, these happy
days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.