03x39 - Found Money

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and as Bub, William Frawley.

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and as Bub, William Frawley.

Oh, why don't you try a little gray at the temples?

Might age you all the way to 12.

Uh-huh.

Hey, Bub, can I eat up the leftover stew?

And one of those.

Well, now, the stew is for tr*mp, but these
are pictures of Chip when he was a little fella.

Well, I'll share the stew with tr*mp.

Boy, Chip was a little squirt.

Well, Chip was about two years old when these were taken.

Now he's getting ready to go to a dance.

Go to a dance?

What for?

Chip can't dance.

I can't dance.

Mom taught me years ago when I was a kid.

Didn't you, Bub?

So I did when he was about that big.

Ah, you were a cute little guy at this time, huh?

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

That's pretty good.

Come on, Chip, relax.

One, two, three.

Which one is Catherine Murray?

You leave quiet.

Don't bother us now, Robbie.

She's still got the bunny hug to learn.

Boy, you sure have been a sorny lady, Chip.

Lay off, will you?

Yeah, this guy's got a lot on his mind.

Forgot my key.

This nightlife's a little too much for him.

How'd it go tonight?

Oh, fine.

You two gonna double date again?

Uh-uh.

Oh, you're awake.

I'm gonna put you down.

You're getting heavy, man.

Dad, Nick, I ran into Doreen, that lady, for good.

sh**ting or drowning?

We just had a little talk and decided we
ought to do something about the situation.

How do you go about unloading women?

In case I should ever have the problem.

It's real easy.

All you have to say is, thanks for the dance.

I'm sorry I can't see anymore,
because I think he gave me a rash.

Is that what you said to Doreen?

Sure, you said to be polite.

Well, you did great, right up to the word rash.

Gave you a rash?

Man, you were kind of dumb even for a seven-year-old.

Well, if you think Chip was dumb a couple of years
ago, how about the time with the newspaper money?

Newspaper money?

Oh, yeah, I remember the newspaper money.

Why, hand me that big book there on the right, will you?

You know?

Did you hear me say anything about a pot?

Well, I didn't see anything.

I want the big book with the stamps in it.

What the heck are pots doing?

I don't know.

Probably the same thing as stamp albums.

Hey, what's going on?

Buck, here's a six-penny purse.

Is there a Cape of Good Hope triangle on
it with a picture of an old lady sitting down?

Well, it's sort of a squarish triangle.

Instead of a lady, there's a bird with horns.

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

Well, either you're growing or I'm shrinking.

Oh, I see.

You got those skates on again.

I thought I told you never to wear those
skates in the house.

Oh, I just came in a minute ago.

Off!

Okay.

Outside.

Come on, get out of here.

Don't stop the argue.

I'm playing with them.

Get out of the way.

Sixty dollars lying around here someplace.

Nobody knows anything about it.

Well, fellas, I'm going to have to be taking off.

I'll be back in a minute.

I bet I've seen it fifty times now.

If you want to reach me, I've got to number it.

Nobody knows where it is, anything about it.

What's that?

No, Bub was talking to Sergeant Feeney.

He told him about it.

Oh.

Well, that's the policeman who collects stamps.

I knew I had it the minute he described it.

Yeah, Sergeant Feeney found the stamp worth $25.

And he told Bub about one with purple triangles.

Oh.

Not with a purple triangle.

It is a purple triangle.

And it's in this red book.

Anyhow, Dad, and Bub, sure, he's got it.

And it's worth $60.

Only we can't find it.

So Sergeant Feeney's going to bring over this
book that tells all about it and shows a picture about it.

And I looked in the red album, and it's not in there, Bub.

And if you don't believe me, you can look for yourself.

Well, happy hunting, fellas.

So I'd like to know... Why doesn't
somebody ever dust these things?

Hey!

Hey!

I saw a purple circle.

Where?

tr*mp.

Get back.

Here, boy, now.

Boy, tr*mp.

tr*mp.

Get back.

Get back.

Get back.

I'm going to get back to you.

Wait a minute.

Come here.

Come here.

tr*mp, come here.

There's no such thing as tramps on the street.

Hey, come here.

Get back here.

Get back here.

Come on.

Get out there.

Get out there.

Come back here.

It's a quiet, studious-type hobby called stamp collecting.

Chip, I'm driving to Glenville for a day or two,
so try to stay out of trouble when I'm gone, huh?

What kind of trouble?

Oh, any kind.

I'm not particular.

And tell Bub that if he wants to call me
for any reason, I'd like the number on the.

...

I'll bet you that is.

You think so, Robbie?

Yeah, it's purple, and I think it's got a
woman sitting on it.

tr*mp's got a purple triangle.

tr*mp's got a woman sitting down on his pie.

Well, I'm not sure it's my thing,
you know, on account of it being crumpled.

Take him in the kitchen.

We'll boil some water and steam him.

No, he's mine, darling, don't let him... If you
want to call me, I'd love to talk around the...

Goodbye, fellas.

Goodbye, Dad.

Have a good trip.

Well, thanks, fellas.

I will.

Now, don't bother walking out to the car
with me to say goodbye.

Steve, if you're going to walk
out without saying goodbye, the

least you could do is leave a
phone number where we can get you.

Two.

Dollars and ten cents.

Say, where's the glass waters?

Right behind you, madam.

That's the last two.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Is this price right, too, for 25 cents?

That's right.

Well, who needs two?

Nothing but a piece of wire with a handle.

Well, I'm sorry, lady, but that's the price.

That'll be a dollar fifty-one.

A nickel and five pennies.

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Well, what's that for?

Ten cents.

I got this paper on the outside.

You know, I could make one of these out of
a coat hanger and a piece of screen.

Well, I'd suggest you do it then, madam.

Look, uh, would you mind leaving this
money out on the papers, please?

Out in the open?

You ought to have one of these metal boxes
with slots in it.

You put the money in and you... I think
you got your price tag all fouled up, mister.

This thing ain't worth more than five cents.

The price is two for a quarter, lady.

Look, just leave the money outside, would you please?

That'll be three dollars even.

I'm gonna make a prediction, mister.

With the kind of attitude you got,
this place isn't gonna last six months.

Leaving money in the open's nothing but a
temptation to the wayward.

Look, would you just put the money on the
outside, please, like a good fella?

All right, but you're making a mistake.

What is it, Sonny?

Money?

That'll be a quarter, please.

Thank you.

Can I have one of those free lollipops, please?

Well, I'm sorry, but they're all gone.

But you just gave one to a friend of mine a while ago.

Look, I told you, they're all gone.

Now, if you don't like it, go outside and pick at me.

That's a fine way to talk to a little boy.

Next opening day, I'm gonna close before I open.

You must have had a hole in his pocket.

I'll check and see if I can find some in the back room.

Mister!

He's going to the store room.

I found this money on the street that a
guy dropped a hole in his pocket.

He drove away.

Well, it looks like you're a lucky little boy.

Sweet.

He's sad.

You mean I can have it?

Well, in my day, when someone found money
lying in the street, finders keepers.

Oh, boy, thanks.

It's time to go to the better taste of Progresso.

It was just that you didn't see the extra
dime the first time.

How could I not see it when I saw it?

Hey, look.

Now, we only went around the block, boy.

Sixty bucks.

Sixty beautiful bucks.

Oh, six penny purple triangle in the triangle.

The woman sits on the triangle.

Yahoo!

We found it.

Be careful of that thing, will you?

I found the money.

That's just what it is, Chip.

Found money.

Hey, Bubba, when's Joe Feeney going to
bring that picture over so we can get here?

I'll get him on the phone right now,
but this is it or I'll eat it.

Look, Chip.

Look at that, Chip.

That's what I did.

You found a stamp like this?

Well, no.

No.

Hey, Mike, come on down and take a look at this.

Yeah.

Look, let me take this in the kitchen.

Now, wait a minute.

Be careful of that thing, will you?

It's not every day you find a purple woman
sitting on a triangle like that.

Okay.

Okay.

Bobby!

Bobby!

Sudsy and me found this whole pile of money, and
it kept growing in the morning when we didn't look.

And we looked away for a whole night.

Hey, look, Chip.

Let's save the fairy tales for bedtime, huh?

This is money.

M-O-N-E-Y for real.

Hey, come on, Bub.

So is mine real.

I found this whole pile of money.

It kept growing in the morning.

Morning?

Morning.

I bought a bee.

Right forward.

Did they find the real stamp, the right one?

Who cares?

Well, what's eating you?

Nothing.

Well, uh, where'd you get the new baseball?

Hey, Mike, we found it.

Purple six penny.

Woman's sitting.

Triangular.

Come on.

A sec.

Uh, this is a nice ball.

Where'd you get the money to pay for this?

This isn't anything.

Wait till you see the stamp.

That's all everybody ever does around here
is look for old purple stamps.

Hey, Mike.

Mr. Funchal, you coming?

I can't.

Oh, I bet there's a whole pile of money there
now because they had all night to get there.

Yeah, and half of it's mine, even if I'm not there because
I can't help it if my mother wants me to be a musician.

Okay, I'll go get it.

When we get a whole truckload of money,
I'm going to quit taking clarinet lessons

because my teacher's perfume makes me sick to my stomach.

Okay, I'll see you later, then.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

I just came to get something.

Well, my wife's inside.

She'll help you.

Okay.

Morning.

Good morning.

Is this all right?

The second day's always slow.

Yeah.

I see you're getting smart, keeping an eye on that money.

For ten years, I had a store across town.

People put their money down, picked up the
paper, and I never lost a cent.

I've been open here one day, and somebody
steals every coin off the stand.

I warned you.

Put temptation in a man's way.

Tomorrow, I put the boxes in.

Today, when I got time, I watch.

When you have to stand guard over your own
newspaper money, I don't know.

What do people care about honesty these days?

Stealing and...

Hey, watch it there with those skates.

It almost ran over my foot.

Kids.

They're like everybody else.

What do they care?

Look, there's practically a brand new
baseball, and he just leaves it.

What do they care about anything?

How are we supposed to know the money was for newspapers?

Boy, are you in trouble.

I sure wish we hadn't have done it.

Yeah, you sure are in trouble.

When I skated off, I went and dropped my
new baseball and everything.

Gosh.

Gosh, are you ever in trouble?

Would you quit saying that?

Well, all I mean is, you really are in trouble.

Sorry, you, you took some of the money like I did.

I only took a little.

I didn't steal like you did.

Steal it?

Anyways, here.

Now I gave the money back to you,
so I didn't take anything.

You don't have to worry, though.

My father said little kids don't have to
stay in jail as long as if you're grown up.

Damn.

Yeah, and he's a lawyer, so he knows.

Of course, you can say you didn't know it was stealing,
but my father says stupidity of the law is no excuse.

What does that mean?

That's a lawyer thing about just because
you didn't know it was wrong, you're still

in trouble anyhow, unless you pay back the money.

But how can I?

I bought the baseball, and now I lost the baseball,
and my father told me not to get in any more trouble.

Boy, you really are in trouble.

You lost it, you went and lost it.

I did not lose it, Bubba, I just can't find where it is.

I got Sergeant Feeney coming over here with his stamp book.

I'm sorry, Bubba, all I did was put it down on the table.

Didn't I tell you to put it in an envelope
because it's got stick-em all over it?

I said I was sorry, Bubba.

Bob, this really isn't important.

Well, if that's not important, this is.

This lame brain lost my stamp.

I did not lose it, Bubba, I just put it down, that's all.

Bub, it's all over your...

What's the matter with him?

You leave the phone alone.

Help me find this stamp before Sergeant Feeney gets here.

It's got to be around here somewhere.

I put it right here, Lieutenant.

Just look for it, look every place.

Hello?

Hi, Chip, this is Dad.

Oh, hi.

Say, I'm going to be staying over here an
extra day and I won't be home till

tomorrow evening, so I thought I'd better call.

How's everything going?

Bub found the stamp, but Robbie lost it again.

Oh, that's too bad.

Chip, you sound kind of cold in the nose,
are you all right?

Oh, yeah, fine.

Dad?

Yes?

Is it true that stability...

The law is no excuse?

I don't think I understand that,
Chip, but... Oh, never mind.

Sudsy says people can get people's
fingerprints off anything.

I don't believe it.

Do you?

Chip, I don't know what you're talking about.

He says they can even get them off baseballs.

And I told him he was a kook.

Chip, did you, uh, throw a baseball
through a window or something?

No, I...

Well, then what's the matter?

It's nothing really, Dad.

Now, listen, Chip.

I didn't throw a baseball through any window.

No, and Robbie's fine, and Mike's fine, and so is Bub.

Chip, let me talk to Bub, will you please?

If it's about what's the matter, he
doesn't know, because I didn't tell him.

Then something is the matter.

No, only three minutes is probably up, and Bub
gets sore, because he says talking more is extravagant.

So I'd better say goodbye.

Now, uh, Chip, wait.

I'm fine.

Goodbye.

Chip, wait a minute.

Mr.

Douglas in 705.

I'm checking out.

No, he's not here.

He had you there, Joe.

Come on.

For.

Most policemen in there, that'd be pretty stupid.

Look, if you've got some kind of problem, a policeman's
the best person in the world you can find to help you.

That's their job.

I mean it, Chip.

Look, you've probably heard Rob and I kid
about the cops, but when it comes right

down to it, you show me someone who connects a
policeman with trouble, and I'll show you a meathead.

Just so happens they came to see Bub's stamp.

Stamp?

You mean they didn't come to arrest me for...

Stealing what?

Well, come on, if you don't tell me what's
the matter, how can I help you?

You can't help.

I spent the money, so now I can't give it back.

Instead, she says they'll never believe I
didn't know it was for newspapers,

because the penalty of the law is no excuse.

And my fingerprints are all over the
baseball, and the lady said find her skeevers.

Only you wouldn't believe it.

Why not?

You mean you'd believe I didn't know it was stealing?

Well, uh, did you?

No.

Okay, I believe you.

You do?

Sure.

Now, suppose you explain this whole thing in English.

Well, I went down to the store.

And so, when the lady said find her skeevers, he kept it.

But honestly, he didn't have any idea that
that money was for newspapers.

And that's the truth.

Well, if it's the truth, it's the truth.

But I think you should make some restitutions.

I'll make as many as you want me to.

Just show me what one looks like.

Dollar ten.

Here's the ten.

And the dollar.

Restitution means paying something back,
like you're going to pay me back when you earn it.

Is it dumb to want to hug your brother?

Well, I don't think it's dumb, but will
you settle for a handshake for now?

Sure.

You want your baseball back?

Jeepers, yeah.

Oh, here.

I just got a new stock of these.

You might as well get everything that's coming to you
before this defense attorney here gives me any more trouble.

Thanks.

I never saw it where you didn't put the
money in the thing that unlocked the newspaper.

Honest.

I know.

Now, you go on home and practice that
knuckleball of yours, huh?

Thanks.

Kids and their hobbies.

One time it's those propellers on top of hats, then it's the
pennies on the shoes, and now it's stamps on the pants.

Huh?

Stamp on the sit-down.

Hey, what's with Chip, the six-penny purple?

Easy now, it's coming.

Be careful, don't rip it.

Everything's all right, he's all right.

He said on a sweater or something?

Here's what, Dad, I got 60 bucks on my rear.

That's all right, keep a good hope.

A stamp, huh?

Very rare.

Well, I saw the squad cars out there, and I...

Chip, on the phone you sounded so,
uh, I mean, what was all that talk about

the law and the fingerprints on the baseball?

That was nothing.

What do you mean?

Nothing.

I just saw Mike and he arrested my tuition for it.

He what?

He means restitution.

It was just amazing.

Oh.

Just because there's policemen around
doesn't mean you're after the trouble.

No, I don't suppose so.

How are you going to take this?

What are you going to do now?

I'm going to steam off this stem.

Oh.

Yeah, don't do that.

What?

No, that's too close.

Wouldn't it be simpler to take the pen out?

Oh, no, you're going to arrest the stem.

Oh, I think you're going to...

So, hi.

Oh.

Yeah, but Chip wouldn't do a thing like
that again, would you?

No, now he's a big overgrown squirt.

Yeah.

And growing a mustache.

Yeah, to attract an older girl.

Attract her?

Me attract a dumb girl?

It's supposed to scare her.

Hey, Bub, you just gave me a good idea.

Sarah Lou Beasley?

This is Chip Douglas.

Yeah, hello.

My dad said I had to go to Doreen Peters' dance.

But I can't dance with you because I just
found out you give me a rat.

Yeah, a rat.

Bye.

Look,

up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's
not Superman, it's My Favorite Martian.

Stay tuned for two episodes of My Favorite
Martian during this twice as nice morning.

On TV Land.