04x06 - How Do You Know?

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons.

Starring Fred McMurray And as Bub,
William Frawley I think I'm in love.

Oh?

Darlene?

Yeah, Darlene.

I'm gonna give her my fraternity pin Friday.

Oh?

I, uh, I'm sure you've given this a lot of thought, Mike.

I can't seem to think of anything else.

She's a wonderful girl, Dad.

She's, she's beautiful, she's sweet, she's...

Well, she's just about everything a guy could ask for.

And you love her, being a guy?

I'm sure I do.

I'm absolutely sure.

Well, that's the important thing, Mike.

Being absolutely sure.

The only thing is, how can you really be sure?

I mean, for sure.

Maybe it's pretty simple.

Maybe when you don't even think of asking
the question, then you have the answer.

She's a wonderful girl, Dad.

I'm sure she is, Mike.

Well, I think I'll turn in.

Good night, Dad.

Good night.

Halloran calls.

He wants you to explain the blueprints to
him Wednesday afternoon.

I've already explained them twice.

There you are, Miss Mason.

I'll get these right out.

So all that leaves is a date for Sally.

All that leaves is what?

A date for Sally.

Sally Morrison.

Who is Sally Morrison?

Mr. Barnes' new secretary.

Oh.

We have to find her a date.

We do?

Yes, sir.

You see, she's only been in town two weeks
and she doesn't know a soul.

Well, she... She's just 19, and all the males
that work around here are decrepit old fossils.

Well, thanks very much.

Well, I was viewing the picture through 19-year-old eyes.

Oh, I see.

Mr. Douglas, I think Sally would be the
perfect girl for your son, Mike.

Well, I'm afraid we're a little out of
luck there, Miss Mason.

Mike already has what he thinks is the
perfect girl for Mike.

Oh, too bad.

But I'm sure he has lots of friends that she could meet.

Would you ask him, please, Mr. Douglas?

Oh, sure.

I'll ask him.

Oh, good.

Now, if I know boys, they'll want to know
what she looks like.

Why don't you take a peek right outside Mr. Barnes' office?

Fine, Miss Mason.

I'll do that.

She's the corner desk with the dented top.

The corner desk with the dented top.

Sounds irresistible.

Anna, I have to take these papers upstairs for Mr. Barnes.

Would you mind answering my phone?

I'd love to sit down for a while.

Well, I was just seeing if your top was dented.

I mean the top of your desk.

I see it does have quite a dent there, doesn't it?

I was just sort of checking the office equipment.

It's clunky.

Now, come on, Chip.

Just relax and do what I'm doing.

If I do what you're doing, how can I relax?

Just stay on your feet.

Try.

Come on.

One, two, three.

That's it.

You're getting it.

One, two, three, four.

Well, I declare, if it isn't veloz and your lambda.

Who wants to do this dumb dance anyway?

All right.

So be it, squirter.

Hey, you two fellas.

What's all this light fantastic about?

Well, if Chip's in the car, I'll take you.

Chip's going to go to that junior
cotillion with that girl who invited him.

I thought I should be able to dance.

I'm teaching him the mashed potato.

Mashed potatoes?

Uh-huh.

Look more like chopped liver.

Put on a waltz there, will you, Wayne?

Now watch this, Chip.

This is dancing.

Well, that's not bad, Bub.

Not bad at all.

I particularly like the girl.

Now, now, now, wisecracks, Buster.

Remember, I won the Harvest Moon Ball Contest doing this.

Come on, Chip.

Don't be afraid.

Get right in.

Boy, this is even dumber than some of Robbie's jokes.

Oh, yeah?

Well, get off of some of my feet, will you, so I can move.

Well, if it isn't Irene and Vernon Castle.

That's enough, Bub.

Who wants to go to that clunky dance anyway?

Oh, come on now, Chip.

Don't be a quitter.

Step into my private studio, and I'll give
you a few lessons.

Oh, boy.

Well, this I gotta see.

Oh, poor Chip.

He'd be the only one at that dance doing
the Turkey trotting at Charleston.

Say, Mike, speaking of dances, I suppose you're
taking Darlene to the fraternity dance Friday night, hmm?

Sure.

I am.

I imagine all the other fellas have their dates by now.

Why, I suppose they do.

Why?

Well, it's just that there's a new young secretary
down at the office that, well, she's new in town, and...

I'm sorry, Dad, but I've sworn off fixing up blind dates.

Well, that's all right, Mike.

I understand.

I just said I'd ask, that's all, and I've asked.

Yeah, well, you do understand.

I mean, blind dates are nothing but grief.

Oh, sure, I know, Mike.

Don't give it another thought.

This girl won't be without a date for long.

Sure?

Definitely not.

Huh.

Why?

Is there something special about her?

Well, she's Swedish, tall, blonde, and
quite a, uh, she's a very attractive girl.

Because Robbie would say she's turbulent,
as I would say she's super turbulent.

But never mind, Mike, I wouldn't want to
put you in any trouble.

No, Dad, as a matter of fact, I might just
be able to arrange something.

Well, that's very kind of you.

Not at all, not at all, Dad.

Uh, what was her name?

Uh, Sally, uh, Sally Morrison.

Doesn't sound very Swedish, does it?

Moose, this is Mike.

Listen, old buddy, I have just arranged a date
for you for the Friday night dance with a living doll.

Oh, wait a minute, Moose.

Listen, my dad's seen her, and from what I
gather, she's, uh, Anita Ekberg Plus.

Okay, I'll go.

Wait a minute, I'll get her address.

Dad?

Hey, wait a minute.

You gotta pick her up.

Me?

We have to double.

Oh, all right, all right.

I'll pick up the girls and be around for you about eight.

Five, four, seven and a half.

Must be the place.

This is gonna be fun doubling with Moose.

Well, I'm glad you think so.

Darlene, I was gonna wait until later,
but I want to ask you now.

I started the other night.

I want you...

Oh, Mike.

I'm gonna rip you apart.

I'm gonna rip this horn right out of the car.

This is the horn's fault.

Well, I might as well go get her.

Oh, yes, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to blow it.

I really did blow it.

Um, Sally Morrison lives here, doesn't she?

That's me.

Oh.

You must be Mike.

Uh, yeah.

Sounds as though you were expecting Anita Eck.

Hey, Moose.

It's 8 O'clock.

Kind of knock on it, huh?

I'll be right with you, Mike.

Uh, look, uh, I don't know whether it was
my father's eyesight or what, but,

uh, well, this girl isn't exactly your type.

It doesn't matter, Mike.

Oh, great.

I...

Hey, what's going on?

Why the robe?

Well, I was going to phone you from the dentist.

I came home and went to sleep.

I broke two teeth and foot.

I didn't play football practice today.

From Cannon.

Well, I'm afraid Moose can't make it.

What do you mean he can't make it?

He broke two teeth in football practice.

Oh, no.

Oh, the poor guy.

Well, I'd hate to bother you, but I think you
better drop Cinderella back at her fireside.

Gee, what a shame.

Sally, you are not going to spend the evening alone.

I really don't mind.

You're going to the dance with Mike and me.

I'd just be in the way.

Certainly would not.

How could you be in the way?

We want you.

Don't we, Mike?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Absolutely.

More the merrier.

And now I remember.

Oh, honestly, what a wild coincidence.

The same Girl Scout camp when we were 12.

Isn't that a wild coincidence, Mike?

Oh, wild.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I guess this isn't too fascinating for you, Mike.

Oh, no, it's very fascinating.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go powder my nose.

You two go ahead and dance.

Well, fine.

Come on.

She'll be back in a few minutes, Mike.

We can't just leave her sitting here alone.

Look, let's not waste time talking about her.

Listen, Darlene, this is one time I'm not
gonna blow any horns.

Oh, look, Mike.

There's Chuck Dunbar.

Three cheers.

Listen, Darlene.

I don't think he has a date or anything.

Maybe if you ask him over?

Look, should we just let Chuck worry about
whether he has a...

has a date?

Yeah.

Uh, Chuck?

Hi.

Come on over.

Hi, Mike.

Hi, Darlene.

How are you, Chuck?

Thank you.

Won't you join us?

Uh, Sally, just in time.

Sally Morrison, I'd like to have you meet Chuck Dunbar.

How do you do, Sally?

Thank you.

Douglas, do you mean to say you're sitting
here all alone with two beautiful girls?

Well, it certainly looks that way.

Doesn't it?

That, my friend, is hoarding.

A very unpatriotic attitude.

Well, I certainly wouldn't want to be unpatriotic.

May a citizen come to the rescue?

A citizen certainly may.

Like to dance, Darlene?

Thank you, Chuck.

Thank you, Chuck.

I'll tell you one thing.

She sure wasn't the blonde doll Dad saw at work.

Well, she must have something.

You know what she is?

She's cute.

Know what I mean?

I hate cute girls.

And then last night after the dance,
she and Darlene got along so famously that

she just had to go home with her and spend
the night so they could talk over old times.

I practically had to shake Darlene's hand
goodnight while dear old Sally stood by.

Oh, where is everybody?

Out here in the kitchen.

Did you bring my groceries?

Yeah, that's not all.

Look who we ran into downtown.

Well, some groceries.

Bub, this is Sally Morrison.

Sally, this is the boy's grandfather, Bub.

Hi, Bub.

Hello, Sally.

Sally works out the plan.

She's new in town and doesn't know many
people, so Rob and I asked her out to the house.

Mike, you know Sally.

Hi, Sally.

Hi, Mike.

You know, until yesterday, I'd been going
along thinking Sally was a tall, Swedish.

...

Well, anyway, my secretary finally straightened me out.

Now I know why you were expecting me to ask for it.

Well, you know, I'm not a big fan of Sally.

Make yourself at home, Sally.

Thank you.

Well, Bub, I hear you're the best cook in town.

Well, you just stay and have lunch with
us, and you'll find out.

Thank you.

I'd love to.

Come on, Sally.

I'll show you the house.

Oh, great.

See you in a minute.

Have.

You ever had an experience like this, Bub?

Like what?

No.

Meeting a girl that you just couldn't
stand from the first time you ever saw her.

Did I?

And how?

Mine read poetry on the Chautauqua circuit.

What was she like?

Just like you said.

Cute.

Blonde.

Kind of pretty.

She rubbed me the wrong way the first time I ever saw her.

Exactly.

Everybody else was crazy about her, but I wanted
to bat her over the head with a book of sonnets.

What a nutshell there.

Every time I see that cute little face, I can...
Bub's always getting after us to tidy up our room.

I think it's a great room.

That's pretty good.

Sally, what do you think of this place?

Oh, it's wonderful.

I just wish I could keep house the way you can.

Well, flattery don't get you everywhere.

All right, Chip.

How about that dancing lesson now?

Oh, guy.

Oh, you'll see.

It's easy.

Put on a record.

Yeah.

Let's see.

Who's the best dancer in the house?

I have a feeling it's you.

Right, Robbie?

Well, I guess I do cut a pretty fine figure.

You're terrific.

Well, I guess it just comes sort of naturally.

Look at him, Chip.

See how easy he makes it look?

Well, it's okay when you do it.

Oh, I'm not doing anything except following Robbie.

Honestly, Robbie, you're awfully good.

Strong lead, and you have a tremendous sense of rhythm.

I guess the rhythm comes because I'm sort
of a musician, too.

Musician?

Yeah.

Heavens, you certainly are versatile.

Yeah.

I guess I sort of cornered the market on the family talent.

And just like one of my sisters.

Oh, yeah?

How many sisters do you have?

Well, just two, but when they start
arguing, it sounds more like six.

It isn't scrapping over the cards to stamp
collection or something.

Oh.

Oh, girl saves steps.

You know what?

I got a hold of a 1920 Kenya.

Really?

Yeah.

Do you want to see it?

I'd love to.

Well, come on.

It's upstairs.

I got a whole collection of dead books I can show you.

I hope they're dead.

Isn't she the greatest?

Oh, to be four years older.

I always fall for these older women.

Well, I guess I'd better go up, too.

The collection's mostly mine.

Oldest trick in the book, trying to make me jealous.

And you weren't a bit jealous.

Were you, Hazard?

Of course not.

I'll show her.

Just wait till she starts hinting for a ride home.

Now, you come back and see us soon, Sally.

I'd love to.

Thanks so much for asking me, Mr. Douglas.

I had a wonderful afternoon.

I'm glad you did, Sally.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Uh, would you like a ride home?

Oh, no, thanks.

Moose is picking me up.

Moose?

Oh, I guess I didn't tell you.

We have a date to go driving this afternoon,
and I called him and asked him to pick me up here.

Oh, I guess he must have been waiting.

Well, goodbye.

Goodbye, Sally.

Thank you all so much.

Thanks, Mike.

Bye.

Moose?

How do you like that guy, Moose?

Moose?

You sound like the call of the wild.

Well, it's the most ridiculous thing
I've ever... She's not his type at all.

I mean, Moose likes him dumb and beautiful.

She's bright and... She's just not his type.

Well, what are you worrying about?

After all, what do you care what she does?

You are so right.

Well, now that I finally got her out of my
hair, I can go see Darlene.

From the ridiculous to the sublime.

Now, this is more like it.

What's more like it?

Oh, you should have been over at our house this afternoon.

Of all the ridiculous...

What?

Oh, it's not even worth talking about.

All right, let's not then.

The thing about you, Darlene, is you know when to...

Why do you not always hang around,
trying to make the whole family think that.

...

Never mind.

What's the matter, Mike?

Nothing's the matter.

What could be the matter?

I'm here alone with you.

There are no interruptions.

There are no horns to honk.

And I can finally ask you what I've been
trying to ask you all week.

All right, Mike.

Well, I can't make any... I can't make
any definite plans for the future, but...

I know how I feel.

I want you to wear this.

Will you, Sally?

My name isn't Sally, Mike.

Did I say Sally?

Oh, listen, darling.

No, you listen to me.

I think you're a wonderful guy, and I'm glad you like me.

But... I admit I've been wondering
what I'd say when you ask me.

But then I... Then I started thinking,
if I had to wonder, how could it be right?

Because when it's right, you just know all
of a sudden, don't you?

Yeah.

You just know.

All of a sudden.

Thanks, darling.

Thanks for everything.

Thanks a lot, Moose.

I'll pick you up at 8.30.

Great.

Bye.

Bye.

Hi.

Mike, what are you doing here?

Waiting for you.

Oh.

I came over to ask if you'd have dinner
with me tomorrow night.

You're not busy.

What about Darlene?

Darlene and I are...

Well, just friends.

Oh, I see.

Well, thanks anyway, Mike.

Then you're busy?

No, I'm not busy.

But I just don't go for being a consolation prize.

Oh, no, it isn't that way at all.

Darlene and I talked it over.

We both decided that it just wasn't right for us.

And suddenly...

Has.

It really been just a week?

Yep.

And you couldn't stand the sight of me.

Could you tell?

You were coming through loud and clear.

The.

Moment I saw you, I liked you.

Like?

Isn't that the right word after one week?

Yeah, maybe so.

I'm going to try and change it.

You do that.

Well, that must be Chip.

Mrs. Finley, you picked up.

I delivered.

I see.

Hi.

Oh, I thought it was Chip.

Hi, Mike.

No, he's right in back of me.

They were just dropping him off.

Oh.

Well, one thing I'll say about Sally,
she gets you home early enough.

Well, you know how it is.

Working girls need their sleep.

Tomorrow's another day.

Hi, everybody.

Well, that's the real playboy of the family.

Well, tell us, how was the dance?

Wow.

Good as that?

Yeah.

Like Robbie says, it was turbulent.

Turbulent?

Well, I guess those dancing lessons really paid off.

Oh, I didn't dance.

You didn't dance?

Heck no.

They lined all the boys up on one side of
the room and all the girls on the other side.

Then they played this clunky music.

And then what?

Well, then this kid and I snuck out of the room.

We found this room with a ping pong table in it.

We played 14 games and I beat him nine times.

Well, that's what I call turbulent.

Yeah, it sounds turbulent, all right.

Well, now you go out and get to bed.

I'll be up in a minute.

Okay, night, you guys.

Good night, Chip.

Two weeks turning on a dance.

He spends the whole night playing ping pong.

I'll change that.

I'd love to take care of him.

Hey, Bub?

Yeah?

You remember that girl you were telling me
about, the one who read poetry on the.

Chautauqua circuit and you couldn't stand her?

What about her?

Well, whatever happened to her?

Nothing much.

I married her.

She was your grandmother.

Well, I'll be.

A mic, a cup, and a pinnacle.

Oh, whatever.

Maybe you'd rather play hearts.

Look, up in the sky, it's a bird,
it's a plane, it's not Superman,

it's My Favorite Martian.

Stay tuned for two episodes of My Favorite
Martian during this twice as nice morning on TV Land.