04x25 - Fish Gotta Swim, Birds Gotta Fly

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and as Bub, William Frawley.

Mike, you don't even know if Sally likes fishing.

Of course she does, Sally, and I like all the same things.

Famous last words.

I told her now that fishing season's open,
we go fishing every other weekend.

She will be ready and waiting.

Here, Bub.

Hey, Chip.

I told Larry to be ready and waiting outside
his house, otherwise we'd leave without him.

That is right.

Hey, Douglas, hold it down a little, will you?

Go on, work the neighbors.

Hey, uh, who put those old waders of mine in there?

I did, they're for Sally.

Oh, she fly fish?

No, she doesn't do any kind of fishing.

But she wants to learn.

Well, that'd be nice and roomy for her.

She'll take two steps forward before she moves.

Well, everybody set?

Yeah.

Well, four O'clock right on the dot, bud.

Good.

Good early start means a choice spot on the lake.

That's right.

We'll see ya.

This Friday night.

Sally?

This Friday night.

Sally?

Sally?

Who is it?

Who is it?

It's Mike.

Anything wrong?

Anything wrong?

Honey, it's after four.

I suppose it is.

Did you forget we're going fishing?

Dad and everybody are waiting in the car.

Even Ernie was ready.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, he must have slept through my alarm.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Uh, she'll be down in a minute.

That's what my mother always says.

That means an hour.

I never saw a girl on time for anything.

Take it easy, fellas.

We got a good early start.

We have to wait a couple of minutes.

It won't hurt.

Yeah.

She's just putting on her lipstick and stuff.

Lipstick?

To go fishing?

Lipstick won't catch a fish.

I think lipstick caught this one.

It's so important to get started in the
middle of the night.

Well, it's just that we have our favorite fishing spot on
the lake, and we want to get there before anybody else does.

That's right.

I'm sorry.

It's all my fault.

They must have spent the night here.

Well, don't worry, Sally.

One spot on the lake is as good as another.

Then how come we knocked ourselves out to get here?

Hey,

remember, you guys, Sally doesn't know much about fishing.

Oh, quit worrying, Mike.

We'll all help her.

Yeah, well, she's already feeling pretty
self-conscious about making us late.

Yeah.

I think it's a good idea to start her off
with a spinning rod.

It'll be a lot simpler.

Okay, Dad.

You're the expert.

Maybe you'll show her how.

Hey, you know, this might be a good chance
for you to get to know her better.

Where is she?

Oh, she's up in the trees putting your old waders on.

You know how girls are.

Oh, I think I remember.

Well, here she comes.

How different do you have to wear a
uniform to catch a fish?

What's that, the new look?

Well, you got it moving there?

Here, honey.

Well, you take this and listen to Dad.

He'll show you exactly what to do.

Well, okay, Sally, let's see.

Now, this is a spinning rod.

How you doing there, Sally?

How am I doing?

I'll let you know.

Here we go.

Hey, look, I see a big fish.

Where?

Right by Ernie.

Sally.

Right there.

I bet you don't see him now.

I'm sorry again.

It's all right, Sally, don't worry about it.

Now, there are plenty more fish out there.

I'll tell you, as long as you've got your
waders on, come out on the water with me, huh?

Where'd it go?

Well, I think you'll release it a little soon.

Oh, hey, I think I've actually got something.

Hey, you're here.

What do I do?

Just take her, is he really?

Really?

Hey, I got a big one.

Hold on to it, Ernie, I'll help you.

It's Friday night.

Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute, Sally, I think,
I think maybe you hooked Ernie.

Oh, no.

Dig it in, Ernie, huh?

Okay, thanks, Ernie.

Well, that really does it.

Better give you a thrill, though, huh?

Yeah.

I think I'll go back to dry land where I
can't catch anybody else.

Oh, you won't catch anybody else.

Come on, try it again.

Oh.

Here.

Maybe I can serve sandwiches without fouling them up.

Oh, okay, we'll try it again later, huh, Sally?

I'll see you on land.

All right.

Boy, now we'll catch some fish.

I caught more fish than a goldfish bowl.

Look at my mother's hair in that.

Don't worry, we'll get plenty of the big ones.

When Dad's along, we always get the limit.

Ever take a woman with you before?

No.

On the old sailing ships, it was considered bad luck.

They'd rather have loose gorillas.

I'd rather have those on board instead of a woman.

What's the difference?

The fish can't tell if it's a man or a woman catching them.

I think they do.

They can tell by the long hair.

Ah, fish on.

Hey, there's some fish.

Ah-ha.

How's it feel, Dad?

It feels like a nice one, Rob.

Keep his head up.

Oh, h*, h*.

There he wants to run.

Come on, Sally, you can net him for him.

Yeah.

Oh, no, I might lose him.

Oh, good.

Oh, come on, Sally.

Give him that, Mike.

Yeah.

Here, go on, huh?

It'll be a minute or two, though.

It's actually a fish.

You got him, Dad.

You got him.

Now, just take it easy, Sally.

I'll put the net right down there,
and I'll lead a ride into it.

What?

Here.

Oh, my God.

I guess we've only got to wait.

Sally, wait.

Easy, honey.

Oh, I missed him.

Oh, wait, there he went.

No, no, Sally.

No, he's gone.

Oh.

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

Come on out here, Sally.

You've got your waders full of water.

Boy, you call this fishing?

You could have brought along a gorilla.

Well, it's good you had your waders.

Sally, you might have gotten wet.

Never mind.

I'm okay.

Oh!

Why don't we all go in and make a party, huh?

Are you sure I didn't spoil everything?

Oh, no, honey.

Didn't you hear us laughing about it on the way home?

Yes, but it didn't sound like sincere laughing.

Honey, a day like this is a day that
fishermen talk about for years afterwards.

One in a million.

Well, it was nice to be included in the family outing.

You'll get used to us.

Wait a little week from next Saturday.

You'll have another big day of fishing.

Oh, great.

Yeah, you're an experienced fisherwoman now.

You'll have even more fun next time.

Good.

Bye.

Oh, honey, Dad's blanket.

Oh, here.

See ya.

Thanks.

Honey, I still don't understand the problem.

Well, Mother, now the Douglases expect me
to go fishing every time.

Oh, is it really so bad?

Miserable.

I think I like them over here.

Well, why don't you try a headache?

They're always handy.

Not every other Saturday.

Move that for me, will you, dear?

How about, uh, how about giving Mike a gentle hint?

A hint?

I've done just about everything but slug
him on the forehead.

He likes fishing, so naturally I have to like fishing.

Fishing is awful.

Mom, it's, it's messy and smelly and,
ew, I just can't even stand the thought of it.

Your father used to take me to baseball games.

If he explained that infield fly rule to
me once, he explained it a hundred times.

How did you cure him?

Every time he took me to a ball game,
I took him to a symphony.

One month later, he made a deal.

Maybe if I took Mike to a fashion show.

He'd hate looking at the dresses.

He'd love looking at pretty girls.

Maybe if I took him to the ballet,
he'd hate watching those dances.

He'd love looking at pretty girls.

What doesn't have pretty girls?

Bird watching.

Who knows anything about bird watching?

Nobody, including Mike, so we'll fake it.

We'll, um, we'll plan a field trip with your sisters.

Our all-girl group of bird watchers.

Plus Mike.

Dad, I'm engaged to a bird watcher.

Is that so?

I had to fall in love with a bird watcher.

I thought just other birds watched birds.

Oh, no, her whole family watches.

It's their hobby, like ours is fishing.

Watching them do what?

Nothing, absolutely nothing, just sitting in a tree.

Oh, they're a bunch of peeping Toms.

And I'm supposed to go peeping with them tomorrow.

Well, it should be very interesting, Mike.

Do you know there are over 9,000 different kind of birds?

Well, do you expect to learn all 9,000 of them by tomorrow?

I don't know.

Say, do you know how a Reed bunting chooses its mate?

No, Mr. Bones.

How does the Reed bunting choose its mate?

Well... Wait a minute.

We'd better send Chip out of the room.

I know all about birds.

And bees, too.

The female Reed bunting chases every male in
sight, and then she marries the first one she catches.

What's so unusual about that?

Doesn't Sally's family have a sensible hobby like fishing?

Alligator wrestling?

I'm going to get him.

Oh, I don't know about this, Sally.

Did we really have to start out at three O
'clock in the morning?

His fish get up at four, so my feathered
friends are going to get up at three.

Can't you tell him birds sleep late on Saturdays?

I'll never keep all those names straight.

Once I get past...

Mary, I'm lost.

To me, a bird's a bird.

Oh, all right now, girls.

When you get married, we'll g*ng up on your husbands.

Do you think Mike's ready?

I hope he's sound asleep.

Good morning.

You're ready.

Oh, I've been dressed since 2.30.

Well, there it is.

It is a warbler.

Golden cheeks or black-throated gray.

Oh.

It looks like a Cape May.

A Cape May.

You're ready.

You're ready.

You're kidding me.

Oh, my gosh, how exciting.

Yeah.

Here, honey, take the binoculars.

Do you see it over there on that tree?

I see a bird, I think.

Not just a bird.

It's a Cape May.

Let me see.

Let me see.

Oh, beautiful.

Here, let me have another look.

Oh, just a minute.

Oh, there it goes.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, chalk one up for me.

I saw it first.

Oh, I saw it.

I identified it.

Oh, Sally, you thought it might be a
golden-cheeked or black-throated gray.

Mother thought it was a Cape May.

That's right.

She's right.

Oh, I think I should get a couple points.

Why not?

No way.

This is ridiculous.

We shouldn't argue in front of Mike.

Oh, my.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

You know, when we get in the field, we get
so excited about our little winged creatures.

Yeah, well, I understand.

It is very exciting.

Yeah.

All right, everybody, now we'll all spread out.

Sally, you and Mike go in that direction,
and girls, we'll go this way.

Birdwatchers, h*!

h*!

h*!

h*!

Get down.

You'll frighten the quarry.

See anything?

No, not yet.

No wonder, your red shirt.

What's the matter with it?

We birdwatchers all wear neutral colors.

That way we blend in.

We blend in with the natural surroundings.

It's called protective coloration.

Well, how come my red shirt didn't bother the Cape May?

Uh, the sun is higher now.

More reflection.

Birds are very sensitive to bright colors.

They take off in wild panic, like fish.

Oh, sorry.

I hope I didn't scare away any of the rare ones.

Oh, don't worry.

We'll put some dirt on your shirt.

Dirt?

Yeah.

Fine.

Here, lie down and I'll get your back.

There.

It was your shirt, Mike.

Look, up in that tree.

A western tanager.

Signal the others.

Oh.

Hey, everybody.

She sees a... Mike.

Loud noises.

Remember?

Like the fish.

You said to signal them, though.

By hand.

There's a different hand signal for every bird.

Oh.

Oh.

What's the hand signal for a western tanager?

You pat your head with your left hand and
then jump up and down.

What's he doing?

Oh, you wouldn't believe it if I told you.

Switch hands, quickly.

Why?

It's a male.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

How long do I have to keep this up?

Until they signal back.

We're supposed to answer.

Oh, um.

Well, I got the message.

Good.

You know, we're falling way behind schedule.

Last time by 10.30, we have over 30 sightings.

Oh, that's right.

Now, come on.

Let's get going.

Come on, two.

Come on.

Come on, Mike.

How long can your mother keep this up?

Until she gets her second wind.

I spotted a pied wagtail.

Oh, my God.

Come on.

A pied wagtail.

Do you know how great that is, Mike?

What the heck is a pied wagtail?

A pied wagtail.

To us, it's like a three-pound fighting trout.

Come on, hurry.

Pied wagtail.

Pied wagtail.

Found only in great places.

Brit.

I'm sorry.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

I can't understand what happened.

Everything was going along fine.

I sort of began to like bird watching.

Where's old eagle eye now?

Back at the car.

He wants to set up a remote control camera
to see if he can get a bird to jump in his car.

He's going to take a picture of itself.

Lousy upper like that.

It's sickening.

This is disastrous.

Now I'm going to have to go fishing and bird watching.

Hey.

Look what I found.

What kind of an egg do you think that is?

Oh, it's a...

It's a large one, all right.

Uh, it, um... It could be a Chinese peasant.

It looked like a Mallard.

What?

What do you think, honey?

Mmm, definitely.

A Mallard.

Huh?

Sally's right.

Where'd you find it?

In your lunch basket.

It's hard-boiled.

Hard-boiled?

In my lunch basket?

Very funny.

I was just going along with your fun.

Don't you know better than to teach a woman a lesson?

What, she's teaching you a lesson?

Yes!

Three days, and she hasn't returned one of my calls yet.

Just because I caught on to that bird-watching trick.

Why would you want to pull a practical
joke like that anyway?

Are you asking me, Mike, or are you just thinking out loud?

I don't know.

Both, I guess.

Well, I... Well, that's ridiculous.

Well, she might be trying to tell you she
can't stand fishing.

No, Dad, she had a good time.

She told me.

Well, Mike, I think maybe you gave her the feeling that
unless she likes fishing, she doesn't belong in our family.

She decided to teach you a lesson, and
then you decided to teach her a lesson.

Let me tell you, Mike, divorce courts are loaded
with people who decided to teach each other lessons.

Well, Dad, if she doesn't like fishing, why
didn't she just make excuses or something?

Mike, you assigned we wanted to see each other one night.

Sally, you're going to be married one of these days.

If I had one word of advice to give you on
marriage, the word would be communicate.

You mean just say what's on your mind?

Use semaphores, smoke signals,
or just plain words, but say it.

And make sure you understand each other clearly.

You'll see.

Sally likes fishing.

She'll be right out in front of her apartment waiting.

Sure she will.

Well, it's just four O'clock.

We're getting a good early start.

There seems a choice spot on the lake.

Sally?

Why aren't you ready?

Because I'm not going.

I hate fishing, Mike.

And I hate bird watching.

Okay?

Okay.

See you tonight?

Wonderful.

Coming up later, we'll award you an Oscar
and a Tony in an Emmy-winning show.

The Odd Couple.

Catch back-to-back episodes starting at
noon, 9 Pacific, right here on TV Land.

The Rewatchability Network.

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