09x05 - Little Baby Cunningham

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

You know, Howard, in two months,
we're going to be doing this with a real baby.

Yeah, I know that, sweetheart.

See, now that's perfect, see?

Now, you do it, because, you know,
Howard, one day, Lori Beth and I may be

out shopping, and you'll be here alone,
and the baby may go nice-nice in his diapers.

Okay, here we go.

Now you're going to see the old Howie rap.

Now, you see this, Marion?

It's just like a baseball diamond,
and all you have to do is go from home to

second, and from third to first, and then
you go from first to third, and you got it.

The only thing is, you got to hurry up, because
the game could be called on a count of rain.

That's Chachi, I'll get it.

Hello, ma'am.

Hi.

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. C.

Well, we're late, we got to be running along.

I'll have her back in a couple of weeks, Chachi.

I thought he would laugh.

Did you see that kiss, huh?

Our thermostat just went off.

Oh, what's wrong with a little kissing?

What could happen?

Oh, my, that is not going to happen.

Well, dear, now, what happened at the doctor today?

Oh, Dr. Crane said the baby's healthy and
we're both gaining a lot of weight.

Oh, way to go, dear little guy.

Or little gal.

Now, and something else interesting, it's no good.

Oh, yes, it is.

It's good.

I was talking with this other preggy.

That's what we pregnant ladies call each other.

Thanks, Grandpa.

Oh, Grandpa.

Anyway, we were talking and it seems
there's this whole new way of having a baby.

What?

A new way of having a baby?

Didn't we do it right?

It's called natural childbirth.

The husband helps... Helps in the delivery of the child.

He coaches the wife through different breathing techniques
and then the wife goes through labor with hardly any pain.

Oh, that is wonderful.

When I had Richie and Joanie, it wasn't a
very pleasant experience.

Oh, I'm sorry about that, dear.

You didn't know what was going
to happen to you when you were

all alone in this strange place and you had all this pain.

And then they wheeled you into this
delivery room with all the lights.

Then they slapped a gas mask on your face.

And then you woke up and you had a little tiny baby.

I would have been so much better if you'd
been there, Howard.

Don't you think so?

Yes, dear.

Hey, Mr. C.

Hey, Mrs.

T.

Baby C.

Whoa, I'll tell you something.

Who's ever in there thinks it's a rock kit, you know?

I'm just going to wake to your born so I
can go schnoogie, pootsie, poof.

Howard, come on upstairs.

I want to show you how to bathe the baby.

Oh, I already know how to do that, sweetheart.

You can be the baby.

Fonz, I'm really glad you're here.

I wanted to talk to you about something.

Are you kidding?

I'm all ears, future mommy of these United States.

Well, there's a new thing called natural
childbirth, and I'm going to start taking classes.

Only my husband's supposed to go with
me, and Richie's away, but he suggested that.

...

Siesta your mouth.

I would be tickled pink to do whatever it does.

Oh, Fonz, that's great.

The first class is Tuesday night.

Oh, yeah?

I'll check.

First class is Tuesday night.

You're busy.

We'll be there.

Good evening.

I'm so glad you could all be here tonight.

Welcome to your first class on natural childbirth.

I'm Patty Downs.

Hi, Patty.

Hi.

I'm a registered nurse, and I'll be your instructor.

I'd instruct away.

We're all ears and tummies, right?

Before we start, why don't we introduce ourselves so we
can... get to know each other, and tell us why you're here.

I think we all know why we're here, right?

No, no.

I mean, tell us why you chose natural childbirth.

Okay.

Why don't you start?

Thank you.

My name is Walter Melman, and this is my wife, Judy, and
we're here because we want to see our baby born naturally.

Naturally.

Terrific.

How about you?

My name's Elaine Benton, and this is my husband, John.

And we're here so we'll be able to...

We're here so we'll be able to experience
the most incredible moment in a human's life.

I'm Lionel Collins, and this is my wife, Donna,
and we're here because she made me come.

That's how she made me come.

All right, the name is Arthur Fonzarelli, and this wonderful
woman here with papoose is Lori Beth Cunningham.

Did you hear that?

Different last names.

A little unmarried action over there, huh, Mr. Fonzarelli?

Ah, no there, Lionel.

This, uh, this happens to be, you know,
it's not my wife, but she's married.

Oh!

No, no, no, hold, hold, hold.

Let's not get crazy here.

Let's not get crazy here.

I mean, she's married to my very best friend.

Oh!

My husband is the father of the child, but he's in the army
and stationed in Greenland, so Fonzie's taking his place.

Oh!

All right, I'm glad you cleared that up.

As we all know, natural childbirth is a
way where the husband and wife,

working together as a team, use special
breathing techniques to help in the birth of your baby.

Yes.

As you mothers and fathers.

Or coaches, we'll see, when you're in the delivery room.

Oh, Mayday!

Mayday, h*, h*, h*, h*!

Yes, Mr. Fonzarelli?

I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything, you know,
first day of class, but I think I got that wrong there.

Uh, when the fathers and or coaches are in
the waiting room, right?

No, the coaches are right there with the mother all
throughout the labor and all throughout the delivery.

Of the baby?

That's right.

Did you know about this?

Sure, Fonz.

That's what natural childbirth is.

That's what childbirth is.

It's natural.

What did you think it was?

I thought it was natural childbirth.

You're in a delivery room giving birth to the baby.

I'm in a waiting room with a lot of other
fathers and cigars.

This is contested.

I mean, it worked for Adam and Eve.

Why fool around with this?

Fonz, it really isn't so bad.

Richie and I are counting on you.

It's very important to us.

But to be in the same room?

Mr. Fonzarelli, I'll show you some slides and then you can

see for yourself that you're
making a big deal out of nothing.

Uh, thank you very much, but I'll pass the
bean on the slides.

You know what I mean?

See that?

Darling, you don't want to see the slides either.

I'm not the only chicken in here.

Uh, Lionel?

Huh?

You're the only chicken here.

Oh!

Here we see the couple in the delivery room as they
are about to give birth using natural childbirth techniques.

They're in the same room.

And here we see the husband coaching the
wife through a strong labor contraction.

Whoa!

Ooh!

Here we see the moment where the baby's head first appears.

Whoa!

Fonz, are you all right?

Oh, yeah, a little stuffy in here.

You know, I got a cramp in my face.

That's it.

Continue.

I can see from here.

I can see from here.

And here, the baby's born, and the doctor
is about to cut its umbilical cord.

Oh!

Will you.

Stop following me?

I'm not following you.

No, when I left my house this morning,
you jumped on the hood of my car.

I needed a ride.

Wait, um, Lori Beth.

Eating.

Of course.

Uh, Lori Beth, I gotta talk to you.

Oh, Fonz, don't forget, last class is tomorrow night.

I wouldn't miss it for all the teen Indians.

Practice that breathing.

I have.

Listen.

Uh, Fonz, who are you?

I gotta ask you a question over here, right?

Does it have anything to do with ripping
the hair off my chest?

Oh, I don't think so.

Did I let go?

Oh, yeah, listen, now.

Okay.

I don't want to be in that delivery room with Lori Beth.

That is not a question, that is a problem.

You're telling me?

Now, look, I know that I promised Lori
Beth to b*tch you, you understand?

And I said I would be there, but I didn't
know I had to be there.

Well, you get over here.

Right.

I'm telling you that this natural
childbirth thing is very unnatural.

Oh, yeah?

When that baby starts to pull.

It's head through.

I'm talking about fainting away.

I'm talking horizontal city kissing shoe Polish.

There's only one thing to do, you
understand, and that's not to do with this.

Get somebody else to be in my place, right?

Of course, right.

You know, you listen very well.

I like that.

I'm going to tell Lori Beth as soon as I
get the courage, but that's not this moment.

I'm glad I could help.

Coach, this place is a real yawn.

Yeah.

I think I'll go down to the tattoo parlor.

You know, some guys do get tattooed in the darndest places.

Oh, you're worse than the kids.

Hey, Rog.

Three was Raleigh coupons.

Nice.

Oh.

Oh, you don't like the hat?

No, I haven't been feeling so hot.

A strong contraction.

I've been having little ones all night.

Oh, don't worry.

You're not due for two more weeks.

She can't have the baby now, Al.

My mother was a month early.

So was I.

She was in labor for 20 hours.

So was I.

Oh.

You know, I always gave her problems.

Did I ever tell you about Al?

I think this is it.

She thinks this is it, Al.

She's got a baby.

What do you mean?

She's got a baby right here.

Can't you see?

She's having a baby.

Give me the bat.

Hey, very nice hat, Al.

I got to take that right out of my door.

Hey, Lori Beth.

Fonz.

Will you please?

This is difficult enough, huh?

Fonz.

What is it?

She's having a baby.

Who?

Lori Beth.

I know that.

Now.

She was having a baby.

I didn't talk to her yet.

She can't do this.

You get over there and tell her to stop this.

Come on.

You can't do that.

Well, what are we going to do now, Al?

Why don't you take me to the hospital?

I got it.

Why don't we take her to the hospital?

The hospital.

Great idea.

Come on, very gently.

Here we go.

Very gently.

Be careful.

Move around.

All right.

Come on.

Very gently.

Don't worry.

All right.

You'll be all right.

All right.

Let's get the door.

I'll get the door for you.

Come on.

Go on.

Go on.

Let's go.

Fonz.

I'm coming.

TV families teach us a lot.

The importance of cleanliness.

The dangers of playing ball in the house.

The finer points of life.

They also show the benefit of having family meals.

They bring everyone together, give
everyone a chance to talk and reconnect.

And on TV, it's these moments that always
seem to lead to these moments.

It works on TV, so try it at home.

Share more than meals at the family table.

So what do you like to eat?

Cereal.

Pizza.

Candy.

Chocolate chip.

Hamburgers.

Let me just try something.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jonathan.

Cookies.

What do you think of Campbell's Chicken Noodle?

I think it's good.

Clearly.

I might get Campbell's instead.

Inside that flashlight is something familiar.

A battery.

And while it may not be the biggest
decision of your day, consider this.

In the land of Middle Earth, the
filmmakers of The Lord of the Rings

trusted one battery in every one of their light meters.

Duracell.

So no matter how you play make-believe,
it just has to work.

Duracell.

Trusted everywhere.

Lord of the Rings.

The Return of the King.

In theaters now.

This is my mom.

Another perfect holiday.

I was seven and mom was amazing.

She always knew to make Chex party mix.

The good stuff.

All seasoned and toasted fresh from the oven.

You know what's great about the holidays now?

It's my turn to be mom.

This is the time of year when shopping
gets really exciting.

It's the after Christmas sale at Sears.

Come in now and save big on fashions for the family.

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Well, here we are How you doing, honey?

You okay?

You look a little bit tired Nothing to worry about.

This is your coach You'll be alright I'll
be alright Why don't you go get undressed?

Okay Not you She's having a baby You need
me I'll be out in the hall Yeah, well, what about her?

Her contractions are ten minutes apart
She's got a little while yet And her

doctor will be here in plenty of time Now,
excuse me I have got to go and try to

catch some loon in a baseball helmet who's
running up and down the hall.

What's wrong?

I just wanted to see how long it would
take you to get back in here.

Don't do that Oh, that's great Look what
we've got for a nurse Florence Nightmare.

She's having a baby.

Hold it, hold it, hold it Is there a Lori
Beth Cunningham here?

Yes, she was admitted about an hour ago
Easy, easy, easy Has she had the baby yet?

Am I her grandfather?

Well, she's carrying the ball but she
hasn't crossed the goal line yet She's

carrying the ball but she hasn't crossed the
goal line yet What exactly does that mean?

Do you feel better?

Much Could you get out of my bed now?

Whoa Pause the breathing It's not working anymore
All right, the breathing is not working What goes next?

Breathing isn't working I want to push You want to push?

The baby is next The baby is next Dr. Crane Dr. Crane?

Dr. Crane?

No, I'm the Fonz Oh, Lord, she's delirious A bad one?

Yes Do you know that just a second ago she
was called a few Dr. Crane?

All right, Lori Beth Looks like the big
day is finally here, huh?

Let's have a look Blue moon The baby's in
position You ready?

We'll be in the home Strong and steady In just a little
while You're going to be holding a little thing, baby.

You can stop singing now.

Couldn't you have left mighty Joe Young in the car?

Aw, Dad, I'm sentimental And I have no
place to sit Howard, come here,

sit by me You know, Marion The hardest
thing about having a baby is the waiting.

Well, it's not the hardest thing, but it's hard Oh,
Howard, remember when Richie and Joanie were born?

Yeah Those were the two most wonderful
moments in my life Who would have thought

that we'd be sitting here waiting For our
baby To have a baby of his own And that

someday that baby is gonna grow up And
have a baby of its own And that that child.

Will have a child And that child will have a
child Of course, he'll be dead, but Married Look,

let's just go back a couple of years and
think about that A couple of babies and

enjoy the moment Oh, Howard, we're gonna
be grandparents Yeah Where did all the time go?

I don't know But I'm sure glad I spent it
all with you Me too, Howard Oh!

Put this gown on Are you crazy?

The Fonz don't wear gowns Well,
the Fonz will if he's going to be in the

delivery room Armed Look Mask Yeah,
mask No, no, no, please Please,

Lori Beth, you don't understand Okay,
let's go, delivery room Fonzie, where are you?

I can't do this Time's up, let's go Lori Beth, I'm gonna
fake that away You don't understand Fonzie, I need you.

She needs me She needs me Why does she need me?

All right, all right All right Because she needs me,
that's why She needs me, I'm there I'm there All right.

Take a breath Take a breath and push Go,
relax Relax Take a breath And push Good,

Lori Beth That's good All right Okay,
come on now, Lori Beth I can see the

baby's head It's time for another push I
can't, I'm too tired Lori Beth,

Lori Beth, you listen to me now This is
your coach talking There's a little baby

in there that it wants to see Milwaukee If
I can wear a gown, you can push Come on,

Lori Beth Here we go Come on All right
That's good Take a breath All right Take a

breath And push the heart out Come on,
Lori Beth That's the way It, it,

it's a boy Oh, Lori Beth.

Boy, Lori Beth, you made a beautiful little boy, huh?

A beautiful, healthy baby boy You made a baby?

A baby boy?

It's a baby boy What's that?

The kid that wanted to see Milwaukee?

You want to hold him?

Yeah Hello, baby Hello, baby Hello You've got
red hair just like Ritchie Can I be your best friend?

And the people on the bus go up and down,
up and down Let's stay boys Mom,

can I Hey, you want to meet Mom?

She's great, a lover Here's Mom Yeah Hi, Mom Hi, Mommy Yes.

Oh, little baby, come here Come here Come here Your daddy's
going to be so proud of you Oh, boy, oh, boy Oh, boy What?

Yes, a boy I didn't ask She's having a
baby She's having a baby Al, repeat after

me She had the baby She had the baby She
had the baby She had the baby She had the

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I wish Richie would call, he's been in Daddy
three days and I haven't talked to him yet.

That army, sending a young boy out on maneuvers.

What is a maneuver?

I'll show you later, sweetheart.

Oh, he's a grandpa and he's still frisky.

Hey, Dad.

Lori Beth, how did my, uh, cuz, the coach, do?

Oh, well, it was a shaky start, but when I really
needed him, he came through with flying colors.

Hey, what do you say we go on up and take
a look at my grandson?

And then if he makes nice-nice, I'll change his
diapers and show you all the famous Howie rap.

Oh, great.

All right, look, uh, I'll be right up.

You know, I bought a baby present,
a little pair of leather booties, all right?

Hey, hello.

Whoa, Richie.

Richie, congrats.

How are you, Dad?

So you got Lori Beth's telegram, huh?

Of course, your boy is cute, huh?

Red hair, big ears.

Yeah, LB is doing fine.

I'll put her on in a second.

I gotta tell you something, pal.

You gave me one of the highlights of my life.

Yeah.

I had, you know, certain peccadillos I gotta tell the
truth about going into that delivery room, you know.

But when I saw that miracle of birth,
when I saw that head poking...

These happy days are yours and mine, happy days.

Goodbye, gray sky.

Hello, blue sky.

Some people think that the Brady Bunch is
unrealistic, but they're wrong.

Lots of families act out fairy tales in
their backyards, right?

It's episode 98, Snow White and the Seven
Bradys, coming up next on TV Land.

Share them with me.

Oh, baby.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine, happy days.