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10x06 - Who Gives a Hootenanny?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Happy Days". Aired: January 15, 1974 – July 19, 1984.*
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Set during the 1950's, the series revolves around teenager Richie and his family who owns a hardware store and Fonzie, who would eventually become Richie's best friend.

10x06 - Who Gives a Hootenanny?

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days!

Oh, Jenny, Jenny, I don't know.

Please.

Jenny, I can't let you copy off my test.

That is cheating.

Oh, this isn't cheating, K.C.

It's, well, it's sharing.

Helping out a friend in need.

Cheating is what I do with Carrie Carboni's boyfriend.

Look at this.

Look at this.

I made more than this as an amateur athlete.

Hey, Rog.

Rog, you went out in this for the money, right?

Yeah.

Think about them little kids that we're
cramming their heads full of culture and knowledge.

Everything, there's joy in that.

Yeah, but Fonz, I have a master's degree.

I mean, I'm not just some uneducated bum
they dragged in off the street.

Uh, this, this is yours.

Wait a minute.

You saw mine.

Whoa.

Whoa.

But then again, unlike you, this is not my
only source of income.

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

Arnold, front and center.

Yeah, Fonzie.

What happened to C-14?

I come in here for years, I punch C-14,
I hear right the harp.

No one said I punch C-14, I hear something
about the weather.

I want to hear at the harp.

Sure.

Let's go to the harp.

I don't want to hear at the harp in your
putt, I want to hear it on the jukebox.

Oh, you can't do that, Fonzie.

I changed all the records today.

Folk music.

Are you telling me that you threw out Buddy Holly?

Uh-huh.

You threw out the great Chuck Berry?

Uh-huh.

Dwayne Eddy and the Rockin' Rebels?

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Rock and roll is out.

Folk music is in.

You got changed.

You got changed with the times.

Nothing changes without my permission.

And the times did not ask my permission.

Oh, don't do something crazy, Fonzie.

Fonz, what are you doing?

Come on, Fonzie, these are our funds.

Fonzie, some of these are all paid for.

Hey, wait a minute.

I'm getting rid of this.

I'm stamping it out now so we don't all
get bored with folk music.

Why is that?

Because this ain't real music, that's why.

You know, real music is about girls,
cars, death on the drag street.

Oh, but Fonz, you don't want to throw this one away.

I mean, this one is the Kingston Trio.

Let me see that.

You're right.

They just broke up.

Fonz, I think you're overreacting.

I mean, folk music just represents the popularization
of a form of music that has existed for centuries.

It's a natural progression for each generation
to choose and select its own form of expression.

Do you understand what I mean?

Yes, I do.

Good.

Fonz!

Good morning, dear.

Now, who could that be?

Oh, my God!

I.

Prayed she'd come home, and she did, just like Lassie.

Gail Marion, here.

Mr. and Mrs. C, guess who's going to be on
TV tomorrow night?

I know, I know.

Lawrence Welk.

Oh, Mom, Chachi and I are going to be on TV.

Hey, see, my Uncle Rico, Uncle Rico booked us on this show.

It's going to be broadcast live from
university tomorrow night.

Oh, Mom, this is a break we've been waiting for.

This could mean a record contract,
concert dates, maybe even beach movies.

Beach movies?

Oh, dear, but you freckled so in the sun.

No, it's all right for a red shirt.

He's a boy, but it's not good for a girl.

Well, the beds were all made, and the tubs
were all spotless.

Boy, those tubs were filthy.

I had the worst.

Johnny!

Hi!

Hi!

Oh, my gosh!

You look great.

So do you.

Thank you.

Who is this?

It's your cousin Casey, don't you remember?

Casey?

Johnny!

I am a pretty little Dutch girl, as pretty as pretty can
be, and all the boys around the block go crazy over me.

I'm Chachi Arcola.

All I know is Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

Oh, dear.

Well, listen, I'll just stand around like
this and sit down.

I'm going to make you a big welcome home breakfast.

Casey, put on a couple of extra plates.

I'm going to make blueberry pancakes.

Howard, go down and buy some blueberries
and some pancake mix.

Mom, we just came by to say hi.

We've got to go down to the rehearsal.

Oh, well, all right.

Nice seeing you again.

No, no, no, dear.

No, please.

Miss, Mrs. C, we'll be back for dinner.

Well, prove it.

Leave me your wallet.

Marion, trust us.

We know where he lives.

And Richie said I couldn't carry it to him.

I'd like to see his face now.

Oh, so would I.

Mrs. C, look, if it makes you feel any
better, here, take my wallet.

All right.

Thank you.

See you later.

Bye, guys.

See you at dinner.

Put some light out where the sun don't ever shine.

Put some light out where the sun don't ever shine.

Oh, you guys.

He's totally keen.

Oh, thanks so much for bringing me here.

I'm rooting for you all the way.

Thanks, Jenny.

A guy?

Oh, you guys, I'll get my own ride home.

All right, that was fine for me.

Let's please see the next one if we can here.

Ready?

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, love, love me, darling.

Come and go with me.

Please don't send me way beyond the sea.

I'm a man of my own.

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.

That's rock and roll.

You bet your bippy.

That gives you goosebumps, doesn't it?

Hey, hey, hey, you can't do rock and roll on Hootenanny.

This is a folk music show.

Folk music?

You mean like Jimmy Crack Horn?

Look, I don't mean to tell you how to run
your business, but you see, we have

certain values and we're not about to compromise.

So either we sing a rock and roll song or
we don't do your show.

Next.

Jimmy Crack Horn and I Don't Care What a creep.

Who you calling a creep?

Who you calling a creep?

I'm not a creep.

I agree with Jan.

She's not a creep.

Thank you.

You're a super creep.

People call me a creep all the time and it
doesn't bother me a bit.

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All.

Right.

Arthur, you're just in time for dinner.

No, thanks.

I ate yesterday.

Oh, Howard, I think something is bothering Arthur.

Why don't you talk to him?

Okay.

Well, Franz, what seems to be...
Oh, excuse us just a minute, Howard.

Uh, we'll just soften him up with a little man talk first.

Then when his defenses are down,
just hit him with the hard stuff and don't

let up on him until he sings like a canary.

You've been watching too much Dragnet, Marion.

Just be firm.

You can do it, Howard.

I've seen you doubt the store.

When somebody tries to return something, without a receipt?

Get out of my way, Marion.

Well, Fonz?

Hey, those Packers, they're really something, aren't they?

I don't understand what's happening to our country, Mr. C.

I mean, there's no respect for tradition no more, you know?

I mean, take the T-Bird.

Nature's perfect card, and some guy comes
along and puts a backseat in.

When is it gonna end, Mr. C.?

I don't know.

Is that what's going on?

Is it bothering you?

You don't like the new Fords?

Well, yeah, that and this, uh, strange, uh,
silly, uh, boring folk music everybody's listening to.

Oh, so that's it, huh?

Music is changing again.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I know exactly what you mean.

The minute I saw Elvis Presley on the Ed
Sullivan show, I knew that was the end of

the big band era, and that I wouldn't see
much more of Señor Wences.

Joy, joy.

It's not all right, all right.

Elvis Presley is king.

He's got to stay that way.

He is the king.

Well, I know exactly how you feel.

I felt the same way about Glenn Miller.

But then I realized you don't have to lose
the music you love.

Huh?

I got it here, and I got it up there.

Yeah?

Yeah, I got Moonlight Serenade, String of Pearls.

I got them all, Fonzie.

Every album that Glenn Miller ever recorded.

No, no, they can't take that away from me.

They can't take that away from me either.

Yeah, well, there's nothing you can do about it.

Oh, yes, I can.

If they can make a pen that writes through
butter, I can, I can...

Fight for rock and roll forever.

I know that whatever I say is not going to
change your mind, but you remember that if

everyone thought the same way you did,
Fats Domino would have written minuets.

And darn good ones, too.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, how you doing?

How you doing?

How's everything?

I'm real glad to see you.

Oh, yeah.

You're getting your teeth straightened.

This is just part of the great news.

We got to tell you.

Hey, listen, I could use some great news.

I'm in a dumpster.

Need a lift.

All right, good.

Yeah, Joanie, you tell them.

No, no, you tell them.

No, you tell them.

No, you tell them.

Tell them.

Somebody tell me, please.

All right, yeah.

Fonzie, you better dig your toes into the
carpeting for this one.

All right.

We are going to be on national television.

Am I a proud cousin or what?

We'll be the next great American folk singing sensation.

I'm not proud.

Fonz, come on, this is a great opportunity.

What are you talking about?

We get exposure, plus a free set of luggage.

I never thought that I would see today
that my own flesh and blood turns their

back on rock and roll, sells out, and for what?

Luggage.

Fonz, why did I have the silly idea that
you'd be happy for us?

I'll tell you, you answered your own questions.

You looked me square in the eye and
stabbed me right in the back.

Rock and roll forever.

Come on, Fonz, let's get a move on.

Marion, Ashley, let's go.

Come on, Casey and Jenny left a half hour ago.

We're going to be late for Hootenanny.

Time means nothing to these people.

No, I don't like what I'm wearing.

No, no, no, no, you look just fine, doesn't she, Ashley?

Oh, just stunning.

Well, maybe just a little scarf.

There, you see, let's go.

Come on, Fonzie, come on, let's go.

Fonzie, what are you doing?

I was out there smooshing garbage.

You would think that a man who owns a
hardware store would, like, kick in for an extra can.

Yeah, but we're going to be late for the show.

Does it look like I am dressed to go out for the evening?

I don't know, we always dress like that.

Well, it so happens that I am not dressed
to go and listen to folk music.

I am dressed to take out the garbage, which is...

Same thing.

Why don't you go ahead?

We'll catch up to you.

Okay.

Okay, shotgun.

I got shotgun.

Marion, it's just the two of us.

Fonzie.

Yeah?

Now, I hired a babysitter so we could go to see the show.

This morning we were going, and now we're not going.

Why?

Why do you want to listen to folk music?

It is so boring.

You know, this morning on the radio I heard
this song about this guy rowing a boat to shore.

Where else are you going to row the boat?

You know, when he finally got there,
everybody yelled, hallelujah.

Baby.

Oh, I see.

You prefer your meaningful songs like a
wham, babaloo, bababoom, bamboom.

I sure do.

You know why?

Because they got guts, they got feeling,
they make my blood flow.

They make me want to go in the parking lot
and beat somebody.

Oh, well, I guess music should have a social function.

Ash, I don't understand this folk stuff.

Of course.

Of course.

It is a communist plot.

Don't you understand?

Don't you understand?

They're playing this music, we're all
going to fall asleep, they come in,

they take over, and it is winter all year long.

Look, why are you making such a big deal out of this?

Ash, why did they stop putting real wood
on a station wagon?

Why do they have to make a watch that works underwater?

And what the heck is minute rice?

Who can eat that fast?

Why don't they just leave things the way they are?

Now I understand.

You know it's the Russians too, right?

No.

I think you're afraid.

Whoa.

You're afraid of change.

Fonzie's not afraid of anything, especially not change.

Oh, now, Fonzie, everybody's a little afraid of change.

I mean, you're afraid that you'll wake up
in the morning and see that the world has

just passed you by and that you won't fit in anymore.

Why would I be afraid of something that is
not going to happen to me?

Fonzie, you can't just shut yourself off
from the rest of the world.

I have done pretty good so far.

Let's see.

Fonzie.

Yes?

Do me a favor.

Close your eyes.

Okay.

Now, no cheating.



Yeah.

Do you still see yourself wearing a
leather jacket, riding around on a motorcycle?

Sure.

Yeah.

I don't know, maybe.

It's 20 years.

It's a long time.

I never thought about it.

I mean, what else would I wear?

Well, a sweater would be nice.

Ashley, do you have any idea what happens to a person
who gets wiped out on a motorcycle wearing a sweater?

A sweater?

Spends the rest of his life with no elbows.

Fonzie, I know what you mean.

Now, when Elvis got his army haircut, I cried for days.

So did I.

Oh, I wish I was with you.

I thought they cut too much off the side.

Yeah.

Now, nothing changes his music, right?

No, he's the greatest.

Nothing's going to change who he is.

No, he is the king forever.

And Fonzie, nothing is going to change who you are.

It's sweat.

Well, come on.

We got to support Joanie and Chachi singing folk music.

You really think I look good in a sweater?

Oh, I think you look good in anything.

Anything?

Then I'll wear my jacket.

Put some light out where the sun don't ever shine.

Put some light out where the sun don't ever shine.

Put some light out where the sun don't ever shine.

But remember, we love you all.

We love you.

And we're off the air.

I thought I told you never to touch me when we're singing.

All right, kids, get on stage.

You're next.

Come on.

I'm going to tell you something, Joanie.

Suddenly I'm having this strange feeling that
we shouldn't have written our own folk song lyrics.

I mean, look at this.

I came to town on Friday.

Shot the sheriff in the head.

They're lynching me on Sunday, and I wish that I were dead.

Sounded great at four in the morning.

Charlie, we're getting a shadow from that
boom on the back curtain, please.

Let's move it.

Hey, Clow, where do you think you're going?

Oh, I thought I was going to talk to my
friends instead of break your arm.

Oh, well, there's a minute and a half, so take your time.

Get back over here.

All right, now, listen up.

I asked you not to do the show not because
I didn't want you to play folk music,

but because I really didn't want to hear it,
you know, and I just don't have a right to do that.

Listen, Fonz, thanks a lot, but I honestly
think that if we sing the ballad of the

left-footed sheriff, our careers are going
to end like that.

Come on, this can't be that bad.

Don't do this.

You're going to embarrass me.

Wait, wait, Fonz, but what are we going to do?

Well, do what you want to do.

Then let us do what we want to do.

Well, then do what you want to do the way
they want you to do it.

How do we do that?

Do what?

Three, two, one.

You're on.

Love,

love me darling, come and go with me.

Please don't send me way beyond the sea.

I need you darling, so come go with me.

Come, come, come, come, come into my heart.

Tell me darling, we will never part.

I need you darling, so come go with me.

Come,

come, come, come, come into my heart.

From my heart, tell me, darling, we will never part.

I need you, darling, so come go with me.

The questions Carol never answered.

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Oh!

Dad, this is dumb.

It's go time.

Oh, boy.

Here's one way to get computer help.

Target in sight.

Can I help you?

Not a word of this to your mother.

Hang on.

Here we go.

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I want you to make this.

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You two guys were wonderful tonight.

I want to be sure to get an autographed
copy of your first album.

Thanks, Ashley.

You'll be first on the list.

But make that second.

It's so thrilling.

We're going to have our own celebrities.

You know, someday we could have a sign
that says, Joanie and Chachi slept here.

Separate rooms.

.

I can't believe you're leaving so soon.

We didn't even get to look at all movies.

Well, Dad, I could stay if you don't mind
me missing a couple of classes.

See you, sweetheart.

Give him back his wallet.

I didn't look inside either.

Come on, let's go.

Your limo is waiting, huh?

Let's go.

What limo?

Are you kidding?

The one with the big greyhound painted down the side.

Well, goodbye, Mrs. Seymour.

Yes, goodbye.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

Goodbye, dear.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Josh.

Take care.

Goodbye, darling.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

Goodbye.

Oh, oh, Howard.

Oh, so thrilling.

Joanie and Chachi are starting to get all
the things they hoped for.

Do you remember what you wanted when you were their age?

Well, I wanted a Huffmobile, and I wanted
a zoot suit, and the girl of my dreams.

One out of three isn't bad, Mary.

You're going to love it.

Next, it's the Brady Bunch, where Alice is
always cooking up something special,

but Ambie Davis says she can't cook at all.

How does she make it look so convincing?

She's an Emmy Award-winning actress.

Stay tuned for episode number four.

More, it's up next right here on TV Land.