10x10 - All I Want for Christmas

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Okay, kids, come on, line up, single file, and
make sure you don't have nothing sharp in your pants.

Oh, Jenny, it's Christmas!

My parents are coming all the way from Nairobi to see me.

It's a miracle, Jenny.

After all these years of fighting,
the cunning, will be a family again.

Whoopee.

All Christmas is at my house is my father getting sauced
on eggnog and seeing how far up the chimney he can climb.

Jenny, you just don't understand.

Christmas is not Christmas until it's
Christmas in your heart.

Two hot chocolates and an air sickness bag.

All right, here we go.

I've got a surprise for you.

Hurry up!

Fonz, your hand smells like a gas station.

Thank you very much for your honesty.

Thank you.

Here you go, huh?

It's Santa!

Right, here you go, Santa.

Here's that bundle of joy I was telling you about.

Oh, you must be Heather.

Come, take a picture with Santa, huh?

All right, huh?

Hey, look at that beautiful tree.

Find out what she wants, huh?

Listen, I'm just going to take a little stroll, all right?

I'll see you later.

So tell me, Heather, what do you want Santa to bring you?

I want a Dollhouse, a baby carriage, and a baseball glove.

A baseball glove?

Fonzie thinks I need one.

Uh, yeah, well, I didn't want her to grow
up and be a sissy, you know.

Well, is that all, Heather?

You want anything else?

Well, there's one more thing, but it's not for me.

Uh, listen, just tell Santa what it is,
and we'll get it for you, all right?

Santa?

Yeah?

Can you get my mommy to make up with my
grandma and grandpa?

Oh, yeah, well, that's...

That's going to be very hard there, Heather.

Very hard.

You said he could do anything.

Yes, I did.

I said he could do anything, but I'm talking about, you
know, like trains or little bicycles, you know, hobby horses.

This one is real tough.

Yeah, tough, tough, very tough.

It's all right.

I didn't get that wish last year, either.

Oh.

All right, let's go home.

Give me a fly, all right?

Say thank you to Santa.

Thanks, anyway.

Whoa.

Blah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Marion, you've punished it enough.

Will you just be calm?

Howard, how can I be calm?

Your brother and his wife are going to
walk through that door any minute.

Right.

And you haven't spoken to him in 15 years.

Right again.

But look, Marion, I promised you I
wouldn't get into a fight with d*ck, didn't I?

I know that, dear, but he always says
something that gets you all riled up.

You remember 15 years ago, two grown men
screaming at each other, about whether Ted

Williams was a better baseball player than
Joe DiMaggio, and at your grandmother's funeral.

Joe DiMaggio was the greatest ball player who ever lived.

I just can't stand the way my brother is
always telling me what to do and how to do it.

But don't you worry, Marion, because no
matter what he does or what he says,

I'm not going to lose my temper.

Oh, sure.

Try me.

All right, okay.

All right.

Now, I'm going to be d*ck.

All right.

Oh.

Howard, Howard.

How's the hardware business?

It's a wonderful little business to be in.

You know, Howard, it's good to see you.

I still say that Ted Williams is a better
baseball player than Joe DiMaggio.

That does it, definitely.

Howard, Howard, it's just me.

It's Marion.

Oh, now the jig is up.

Oh, they're here.

That's them.

They're here.

Daddy!

Can you see, baby?

Oh, honey.

Oh, man.

Oh,

my son of a g*n, it's so good to see you.

Oh.

Merry Christmas, d*ck.

Merry Christmas, Howard.

It's good to see you again.

Fifteen years.

It's a long time to hold a grudge.

Sixteen years.

You were never good with numbers, Howard.

Yeah.

Well, fifteen, sixteen, what's the difference?

It's good to see you again.

Now, you two must be so tired from that
long trip all the way from Africa.

I'm sure you'd like to freshen up a little bit.

Would I?

The last time I had a shower, it was with a gazelle.

A gazelle.

I'll get the suitcase.

Oh, hold it, Howard.

I'll take him.

Don't forget, you might throw your back out again.

There's nothing wrong with my back.

I'll take that.

Well, maybe so, but you still have a terrible temper.

Who says I have a terrible temper?

Howard!

Howard!

Oh, oh, oh.

Well, if it makes you feel any better,
I'll take the lighter one.

He's pushing me again, Marion.

He's pushing me.

I don't know what to say.

You know, I'll tell you something, Ash.

I saw something wonderful today, you know.

I was over at the Cunninghams,
and there were these two guys,

d*ck and Howard, acting just like brothers.

They are brothers.

That's the beauty of it.

Listen, doesn't Christmas make you feel warm for family
and... Uh, maybe we should test the Christmas tree lights.

Over the river and through the woods
to Grandma's house we go... Fonzie.

Hello.

I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work.

Sure it's going to work.

It's Christmas time.

Everybody loves to make up at Christmas time.

I'll dial.

You call.

Come on.

Get over here.

Fonzie.

Yeah.

Do you have any idea what it feels like to
be deserted by your parents?

Firsthand.

So what?

When I got married, my parents said, if you go
through with this, we never want to see you again.

Well, I didn't believe them.

I just said, when you change your mind, give me a call.

Fonzie, they never did.

How do you know?

The line might be busy.

You might have been out.

Why don't you get a service?

Fonzie, you don't understand.

When my husband walked out on Heather and
me, I was very, very lonely, and I really

needed my parents, and they were not there for me.

I'm not going to call.

I don't want to talk about it.

I understand.

I would like to talk to you.

I'd like to ask you a question.

That's all.

Huh?

Hey, get over here.

Why don't you try sending a card?

Telegram.

Oh.

Forget it?

Right.

For now.

Oh.

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This is taking forever.

Just focus on the reward.

And stop talking.

You'll lose count.

I thought you were counting.

No, I'm not.

New Shed Spread Country Crock plus yogurt.

A taste of the country whipped with yogurt.

Hey, Piccalo.

I need you.

I don't understand.

What's the matter?

Well, it's just a bathroom.

Oh, I'm so disappointed, Fonz.

I mean, I had visions of so much more.

An exotic male retreat.

A chamber of brotherhood.

Oh, this is terrible.

Well, I'm really sorry to disappoint you.

No, this, it's my old phone number.

Fonz, have you got an eraser?

When you finish putting in a personal ad,
could I see you in the wrapping department?

I need help.

Oh, Fonz, really?

I mean, I've seen leftovers wrap better than these.

I'd be honored.

Oh.

Oh, this is beautiful.

Is it cashmere?

No, this is American.

Put it back in.

I'll tell you something.

I can't, I can't believe it.

Why are you women so stubborn?

No matter what I do, no matter where I go,
I can't get Ashley to talk to her parents.

So?

I still live at home, and I don't talk to mine.

But don't you understand?

I mean, take a kid who's, who's got every cool toy in town.

I mean, what happens?

All them toys stay up on the old shelf,
collect dust, right?

Then you can take a kid who's only got,
like, this one beat-up Teddy bear.

The ears are torn, the eyes are,
like, down the air somewhere.

Finger, please.

Yeah, they just love that Teddy bear to bits.

Same thing with families.

You got them, you don't appreciate them.

You don't got them, you spend your whole life hoping
somebody puts you on their lap and says, I love you.

Oh, Fonz.

That was beautiful.

Danny Kaye couldn't have said it any lovelier.

Where are you going?

Oh, I have some last-minute shopping that I have to do.

I have to pick up some gifts for this
older couple that I live with.

Hey, what about my packages?

Oh, I really ought to pick out some of my
own, but thanks, Fonz.

Howard, I really appreciate your looking after our K.C.

d*ck, wherever my government needs me in the world,
it's comforting to know that she's safe here with you.

Well, your government can rest assured
that she's a lovely girl, just like her mother.

Howard.

What are you doing?

Well, you can't start a fire that way.

You don't have any kindling.

d*ck.

Let me show you a little trick.

You just take a newspaper, roll it like
this, give it a twist, homemade kindling.

d*ck.

Here, let me show you.

There you go, right like that.

How in the world do you ever get through these
Milwaukee winters without knowing things like this?

This is beyond me.

I used the gas starter.

Oh, sure.

Take all the romance out of it.

Oh, Marion.

Marion!

He just burned my newspaper.

I didn't get to read my newspaper.

I love to read my newspaper.

Howard, I'm so proud of you.

You didn't lose your temper.

I can't stand it anymore, I'm telling you.

At least he's only going to be here for one more day.

No, two more days.

Because you were getting along so well.

That's why I decided to stay an extra day.

Oh, look, Howard, the football game starts in ten minutes.

What do you say we watch the Colts walk
all over the Packers, huh?

Are you kidding me?

The Packers are the world's champions.

Horning, Starr, Fuzzy, Thurston, they're invincible.

The Packers are a flash in the pan.

Only emotional people think Green Bay is
building up some kind of dynasty.

But then, you always approach sports emotionally.

Like when you thought that DiMaggio was a
better ball player than Ted Williams.

d*ck, please, let's not start with DiMaggio.

No, Howard, I think an important point should be made here.

The thinking man knows that Ted Williams
is a better ball player.

Joe DiMaggio got hits in 56 consecutive games
and was the greatest ball player ever to wear a uniform.

Well, what about Ted Williams' lifetime average of .344?

You think you know everything, don't you?

Well, you don't.

You're wrong.

Not only was DiMaggio a better ball player
than Ted Williams, he's a better fisherman.

And another thing, if Ted Williams is so
great, how come he didn't marry Marilyn Monroe?

Howard, Howard, you're yelling at d*ck.

Oh, brilliant observation, Marion, but he deserves it.

You know why?

Because he's wrong.

You hear that?

You're wrong.

You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong.

No, Howard, you're wrong.

Boys, boys, you're acting like children.

You're right, Marion, this is silly.

We're adults and we should act like two grown men.

Come on, you, step outside.

My pleasure.

Don't worry, Marion, this won't take long.

Oh, Casey, Bill, they're fighting again.

Oh, no, no.

I need it this time.

Ow, ow, where are you?

My face fall again.

Stop, Dave, stop.

Who taught you how to throw?

Demise, yo.

That's telling him, Vic.

Oh, yeah?

No, we're throwing his face in snow, just a little bit.

No.

Oh, no, no, we're just having a child candy candy.

Stop, stop, stop.

Everyone should be brothers and sisters.

Oh, Casey.

Shut up.

No, no, no.

Yeah, stop.

Stop.

Stop.

I am mortified.

Sit down.

I can't believe what's happening.

You got a fire in the fireplace here.

Look at this.

You got Christmas spirit coming out of
every pore in the walls.

And you got two abdominal snowmen out
there rolling around in a manger.

Mr. C, please, get up.

Let's...

All right, go back on to caroling.

I hope you're happy, d*ck.

Well, he started it.

He deserved it.

Where is that candy cane?

All right, hold the phone.

Hold the phone.

I can't believe it.

Two grown men arguing over whether Damasio
is better than Williams.

Everybody knows it was Willie Mays.

All right, now tell me.

What is this all about, huh?

Uh-huh.

You know, you know, gentlemen, you know what this is like?

This is like when you got a Band-Aid on
your leg and you can pull it off very slowly, huh?

It hurts all the way.

Or you could just kind of rip it off, you know?

Gentlemen, I think it's time to lose some hairs.

Fonzie has a strange way of expressing
himself, but he is absolutely right.

I can no longer stand you telling me what to do.

I don't understand.

When we were kids, you used to ask for my
advice all the time.

We're not kids anymore.

I'm a mature man.

I provide for my family.

And it may surprise you to know that for 15
years, I've been perfectly capable of lighting a fire.

Well, it never meant any harm, Howard.

All I ever wanted to do was help.

But you didn't.

All you made me do was resent you.

You drove us apart.

We used to have so much fun as kids together.

Hey.

You remember that summer?

We went skinny dipping in the pond and the
kids stole our clothes.

Yeah.

We both had to come home wearing a barrel.

Couldn't do that now.

No.

Oh, d*ck, I missed you.

I miss you too, Howard.

Okay, Heather, you can come out now.

What else you got?

And a baseball.

Oh, yeah.

No, no, no.

Excuse me, honey.

Yours is over there.

This one is for your mother.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, thank you.

Santa brought me.

So, where's Grandma and Grandpa?

Behind the tree?

Sweetheart, your grandparents aren't coming over.

But that's the Christmas present I really wanted.

Maybe your mother could make a call.

Fonzie, your grandparents know where we
live if they want to make up.

Now, uh, let's see what else Santa brought us, okay?

Yeah, sure.

Let's open our presents there, Heather.

This is so much fun, isn't it?

This is the best Christmas I ever had.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, I will call.

And I will wish them a very Merry Christmas.

But I don't make any promises.

We'll take it.

Oh.

It's been so long, I don't think I
remember the number anymore.

Five, five, five.

Four, two, three, two.

I haven't finished dialing yet, Heather.

Now it's ringing.

Fonzie, it's ringing.

What do I say?

Hello.

Hello.

It's Ashley.

Yes, I'm fine.

Yes, it has been a long time.

Oh.

Well, it's been hard for me, too.

Oh, especially around the holiday seasons.

Oh, Heather is just beautiful.

Oh, oh, I know you're going to love meeting her.

Yes.

Oh, and I met this wonderful man.

Yeah, oh, you're going to love him, too.

Okay.

Okay, I will.

Oh, we should get together very soon.

And, um, tell...

everybody that I wish them a very Merry
Christmas and that we miss them very much.

See that, sweetie?

That wasn't so hard.

That was the housekeeper.

My parents are off vacationing in the Bahamas.

Oh.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I, uh...

Maybe I'll try again sometime and...

Who knows?

Maybe we can patch things up.

Thanks, Mommy.

That's the best Christmas present I ever had.

Yeah, I have to say ditto, you know?

I'm very proud of you.

I mean, that was the first step, wasn't it?

That was great.

Come here for a minute.

Wait!

Yeah?

I've got some mistletoe.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I've got some mistletoe, too.

Excuse me, bartender.

What's a guy got to do to get a drink in this place?

What's a guy got to do?

Be a woman.

Short of that, see a woman.

Observe.

Hey, isn't that Anna Kournikova?

I do the same thing with my dog and a tennis ball.

Always thinking so you don't have to.

Wasn't her, huh?

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You're watching TV Land, where weekday
mornings are twice as nice.

So did little Richard like his presents?

Oh, oh, oh, I mean, little Richard just loved his presents.

Hi, Rich, how are you?

Oh, fine.

Fine, everything's just great.

Yeah, yeah, Joanie called.

She and Chachi are just doing fine.

And, and Rog and Flip, they flew home for Christmas.

Yeah, he's here.

Fine.

Yeah, okay, hold on.

I'll talk to you.

Yo, h*, h*, Richie.

How you doing, huh?

Yeah, of course we miss you.

Hey, listen, I want you to meet somebody, all right?

Say hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Don't they sound gorgeous?

Oh, yeah.

I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you some other time.

What?

What?

Have we got a big connection here?

He wants us to sing.

Oh, Richard just loves Mitch Miller.

All right, we're all going to the piano now.

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What?

Get around.

Fa la la la la.

Fa la la la la.

All right, you want it?

You got it.

Deck the halls with boughs of Holly.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

It's the season to be jolly.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Got me now a g*y apparel.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

To all the ancient Yuletide Carol.

Fa la la la la.

Fa ha ha ha.

All right?

All right?

Goodbye, gray sky.

Hello.

Blue.

Nothing can hold me when I hold you.

If it's all right, it can't be wrong.

Stay tuned for another episode of Happy
Days on TV Land's Twice as Nice.

It's not going to be nice.

It's going to be wild.

No, Potsie.

It's going to be nice.

Twice as nice.

Oh, baby.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.