11x01 - Because It's There

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Oh no, its alright hun. I don't need any help.

Oh non.

I still have some feeling in my arms.

Yes, Marion.

I told you I would get this later.

Now, come on, help me get this food over to
the Burkharts before the fumigators get here.

Well, Howard, why are you labeling those steaks liver?

Well, you know Burkhart.

All he has to do is read Top Sirloin in a
package and he'll suck it up, paper and all.

This is it for me.

Oh, no, no, wait a minute.

Mrs. C, let me help you with that.

Right.

Oh, thank you, Arthur.

So you're really going through with this, huh, Mr. C?

Fonzie, I am not a bloodthirsty man,
but these are termites.

You gotta gas their little brains out.

Yeah, I know, but I see them on those
little commercials, you know, and they're

singing and they're dancing, they're
falling in love, and then whammo,

all of a sudden we're talking six little
skinny legs all up in the air.

Oh, Howard, we can't go through with this.

They're bugs, Marion.

They eat their young.

Oh!

Oh, cookies.

Oh, don't eat that, Chachi.

This is Arthur's food.

That's all right, Mrs. C.

We're family.

We share.

And besides, Mr. Burkhardt is gonna eat
everything that isn't labeled poison anyway.

Oh, poison!

Better, better, yeah.

Want one?

Thank you.

Oh, these look homemade.

Oh.

These are horrible.

You got any more?

All right, this is my final box.

Oh, hey, that's great.

Thank you.

I ought to take this over to your house to protect it.

You know what this is?

What?

This is the cookie jar I had when I was a little boy.

Uh-huh.

You know what's in here?

The last three cookies my mother made
before she took off on me.

I know you might think I'm silly,
but I figure as long as I got them in

here, there's a chance she might come back to me.

Oh, jeez.

Uh, uh, uh, Fonzie, Fonzie, I got a terrific idea.

Why don't you let me take that down to the store?

And I'll laminate that baby shut.

That way no one will ever be able to open it, huh?

That's very nice of you.

Thank you.

Be careful.

Fonzie, is this yours?

I don't know.

Where'd you find that?

It was taped to the bottom of the cookie jar.

Oh, yeah?

Let me see.

Did you read this?

No.

You're lying.

No.

Did you two read this?

No.

My goodness.

What is it, Fon?

Nothing.

Well, then what are you keeping it for?

I'm not keeping it.

I'm going to throw it away.

Here it is.

Look at this.

I'm throwing it in the garbage can right there.

There you go.

All right?

Look.

I'll throw out the trash.

You know something?

If he really wanted that garbage thrown
out, he'd have had me do it.

I think something on that note really upset him.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Stop it.

Excuse me!

Huh?

It's okay, Tom.

I really am concerned you're going to hide the jewelry.

You're a very smart kid, and I know how to know.

So, you're acting here, too.

Chach, there is something wrong with Fonzie.

What are you talking about?

He's changed.

He's different.

Hey, when he came in, he turned on the light.

Big deal, he turned on the lights.

He used the switch.

He used the switch?

Really?

He's coming.

He's in bad shape.

Oh, my gosh!

He put a dime in the jukebox!

Bobby, take it easy.

There's something really bizarre going on
here, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

Fonz?

Hello, Chach.

Where's your leather jacket?

Stolen.

Leather thieves.

They clean me out.

Leather jacket, belts, pillowcases, everything.

Something's bothering you.

I think it has something to do with that note we
found this morning on the bottom of the cookie jar.

Am I right?

Why don't you play a tune with my dime?

I haven't used it yet.

I gotta go home and rehearse, okay?

Great.

Bye-bye.

Fonzie!

Fonzie!

I'm so sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I drove into the parking lot too fast,
and I knocked over your motorcycle.

It was an accident.

Don't hurt me.

Don't k*ll me.

Is that an accordion?

You know what?

It's okay.

Because it was just a motor transportation.

It was just a machine.

Worst comes to worst, I will take a bus.

I think I know what it is.

What?

They came down last night while he was sleeping.

They stole his bike.

They stole his brain.

And now they're pretending they're him.

Who?

Martians.

But they made a mistake.

See, they didn't realize that he was the Fonz.

They thought he was just like one of us.

See, they always make these little mistakes.

That's how we beat them.

Tommy, do me a favor.

Take him home.

Yeah, good idea, Chachi.

Hey, Bobby, come on, man.

It's gonna be all right.

They may get Fonzie, but they'll never get my brain.

I'm gonna wear a cap.

Good idea.

Boy, Chachi, I can't believe some of this
stuff people give away.

Look at this.

A leather jacket, just like Fonzie's.

This is Fonzie's.

Fonzie, would you come down here, please?

Do I have to?

Right this minute.

All right.

Oh, Howard, I love it when you're so forceful.

All right.

Marion, Chachi's here.

Well, Chachi, you're forceful, too.

Could we make this quick, please?

I have tea steeping.

Fonzie, I'm going to deal with this as if
you were my own son.

Oh, Howard, now you're not going to use the belt again.

One time, and you never let me forget, Marion.

Mr. Silver.

Now, look, Fonzie, we're worried about you.

We know that there's something in that
note that's bothering you, and we want to

know what it is, and we want to know right now.

All right.

Better hear from me than on the street.

Read all the gory details.

Well, come on, read it, read it.

It's in crayon.

I wrote it when I was a little kid.

Things I must do in the next 20 years to
consider myself a man.

Maybe I should leave.

When I was a little boy, I went to see
this movie about this Indian kid, see?

And he had a list of things he had to do.

Climb a tree, swim a river, ride a horse
bareback without getting hurt.

So, I wrote myself a list, too.

You know, it's like the rights of manhood.

Build a dragster from scratch.

I did that.

Meet the Lone Ranger.

I did that.

We were there, yeah.

Go out with the homecoming queen.

Every year since 53.

Be first to ride a motorcycle all the way
to the top of suicide.

Hey, why don't you do that, Fonz?

Fonz?

Talk to me, Fonz.

All right, I didn't do it, okay?

All right, there you have it.

There you go.

Why don't you yell it out the window?

Hey, everybody.

Hey, if Fonz didn't do it, is that good?

I'll tell you what you can do.

Buy some commercial time on television.

Everybody knows what kind of loser I am.

Is that why you're so upset?

Is that why you threw your jacket into that goodwill box?

Because you didn't ride to the top of
suicide hill on a bike?

Boy, that's childish.

Are you mocking the rights of manhood?

Arthur, everybody makes lists and then
doesn't do what's on them.

It's just a way of keeping track of all
the things you don't get done.

You don't understand.

Look, other people can do that.

Other people can make promises and not keep them, not me.

If I say I'm going to do something, I do it, you know?

I mean, that's what cuts me out from the rest of the herd.

Fonzie, it's climbing a hill on a motorcycle.

It's not achieving world peace.

Understand it don't make no difference.

It could be a motorcycle climbing up a hill.

Or juggling fruit.

If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it.

So do it.

No.

Wait a minute.

What do you mean no?

Come on, Fonzie.

You're just bouncing yourself off the walls in here.

You're not even going to try it now?

I tried it.

I failed.

Hey, I brought you something.

It's a book.

Oh, yeah?

What are you doing?

You're peddling me some psychology here?

I'm going to learn about my ID, my ego, right?

My lumbago.

This happens to be perfect for your situation.

Here.

The little engine that could.

I know what you're thinking.

And you're still standing here?

This happens to be the book that got me
through Little League.

Remember how short I was when I first started, huh, Fonz?

Yeah.

And how I used to bail out of the box on
every inside pitch?

Well, who got me to read this book?

I did.

That's right.

And what happened to my batting average?

It's sore.

I rest my case.

Don't be fresh.

Read this.

For me.

All right.

And just promise me one thing, okay?

Don't just read the words.

I want you to listen to the message behind the words, okay?

Are you finished?

Yes.

For your sake, I hope so.

The Little Engineette Could by Waddy
Piper, published by Platt & Monk, 1990.



It gets better.

I hope so.

Now, don't get distracted by the illustrations, Fonz.

As good as they may be.

Chug, chug, chug.

Puff, puff, puff.

Ding dong, ding dong.

The little train rumbled over the tracks.

Boy, this guy can write.

It darn right.

Hold on a second.

Hold on a second.

Let's skip to the good part.

Where?

Come here.

Right here.

Here, read this.

I'm not very big, said the little blue engine.

I have never been over the mountain.

Mountain?

I get it.

But we must get over the mountain before
the children awake, said all the dolls and toys.

And the very little engine looked up and
saw the tears in the doll's eyes.

And then she said, I think I can,
I think I can, I think I can.

Puff, puff, chug, chug, went the little blue engine.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think
I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I
can, I think I can, I think I can.

All right, Chachi, give it to me.

The accordion?

No, my jacket.

Let's go.

All right.

Uh, no, it's steeper.

Fonz, I think I can.

I think I can.

I think I can.

Good, you do it.

Fonz.

Yeah, right.

Fonzie, now look, Marion and I know you
can do it, but it is so high.

Yikes.

Are you sure you really want to go through with this?

Hey, look, I really appreciate your
concern for my physical self, but as

Winston Churchill said, I'm twice as good as anybody.

Yeah.

Come on, it's your case now.

You all right?

I hit a rock.

Oh, yeah, well.

I hit a rock.

Those rocks, they can be nuisance.

Yeah.

I mean, a mountain is no place to leave rocks lying around.

Bad rock.

Well, this doesn't happen to you very often, Arthur.

Mrs. C, I failed.

Not failing.

That's just a part of trying.

If you're afraid to fail, you're afraid to try.

It's easy to love a success, but Howard and
Chachi and I love you, even when you bite the big one.

It's what it means to be a family.

Fonz, why don't you come home and have dinner with us, huh?

Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a great idea.

I'll do that.

I'll follow you.

Why don't you go ahead, okay?

And I'll be along in a minute.

Okay, come on, you slide.

I just like to be alone, okay?

Thanks a lot.

Want me to stick around?

Uh, no, why don't you just ride home with the Cs, okay?

No, I'm all right, Fonz.

I could stay.

I'd like to be here alone.

I could stay, really.

Please go home with the Cs.

All right, whatever you want.

Thanks.

You're still the best, Fonz.

Yeah.

Look at that.

Am I a lucky guy?

Am I a lucky guy or what?

Mrs. C loves me.

Mr. C loves me.

Chachi loves me.

Joanie, we're here.

She loves me.

So how come I hate my guts?

You.

Did it, Fonz.

You did it.

Oh, is this steep?

You did it, Fonz.

I can't believe it.

What are you doing down there?

I thought you left.

Get up here.

Come here.

If I live, I'm going to tell everybody.

I'm going to tell all the people down in Arnold's.

Chachi.

I'm going to tell everybody.

Chachi.

You don't have to tell anybody.

I don't want you to tell anybody.

What are you talking about, Fonz?

You almost gave up your leather jacket
because you couldn't climb this stupid hill.

That's right.

And now that I made it, I don't need to tell anybody.

It's just like Mr. C says.

My friends would love me if I climbed this
hill or if I didn't.

All right.

I won't tell anybody.

Thank you.

I'm still proud of you.

Thank you.

Yo, Mr. and Mrs. C.

I just came down for my combustibles.

Uh, Fonzie?

I ain't glad.

I'm glad you're here.

I've got something for you.

You do this for me?

Yeah.

I can't believe it.

I mean, now my mother's cookies are,
like, protected for eternity.

I can't hear anything.

Oh, well, well, you see, it's a special
process developed by space technology.

It practically...

It's a special process developed by space technology.

It practically renders the contents noiseless.

You could take that baby to the moon.

I've got to tell you two something.

There were not two finer people walking
the face of this or any other earth.

I mean, when they made you, they ate the mold.

I can't go on like this any longer.

Tell him.

Tell him the truth.

What's the truth?

Fonzie.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's nothing in that jar.

You see, the truth is, Marion and Chachi
ate your mother's cookies.

Well, and me too.

You ate my cookies?

I tried to stop them, but in the struggle,
one of the cookies fell in my mouth.

You ate all three cookies?

They must have been terrible.

I mean, they're 20 years old.

They were terrible then.

Ever forgive us.

Of course.

Of course I can.

Thanks a lot for this, Mr. C.

Listen, the most important thing is,
I still got my lucky sandwich.

That's what he thinks.

Thank you.

Bye-bye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It ain't so bright, it can't be wrong.

We're rockin' in a room, oh, it's gone.

These days are ours, share them with me.

These days are ours, happy and free.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.

Happy days.