11x22 - Fonzie's Spots

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪ s21

You know, Donald, by my count, that's
the 10th Leopard Lodge funeral this year.

What's happened to us, Donald?

We used to be such a young and vital organization.

You know, you've been Grand Poobah for five years
now, and the only new person you brought in is Potsie Weber.

We'd have more members if you wouldn't blackball them.

I don't want to argue, but, Howard, I just want you out.

I mean, the lodge needs some new
leadership, somebody that's vital,

somebody that has magnetism, you know?

Somebody like you, Donald.

Donald, it's just in my blood.

Coffee's ready.

Marion, you're a real gem, and if you ever
want to get rid of that big palooka, just let me know.

Oh, Donald, you have to come to our next
party, no matter what Howard says.

All right, how about that, huh?

From Patton High to your doorstep, 43 seconds.

What do you say?

Have we stopped yet?

Of course we've stopped.

Now, how come you didn't wear your helmet?

I wasn't afraid I was going to mess up my hair, Fonz.

Hello, Arthur.

Hey, hi.

Oh, Joanie, I love what you've done with your hair.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, I know that outfit.

Another leopard has fallen out of the tree of life, huh?

Lloyd Baxter died, and now Howard is going
to be removed as the great pooma.

Well, surely they can't blame Dad.

I mean, the man was...

Oh, no, dear.

It's just that your father has been unable
to get new recruits for the lodge.

Oh, come on, missus.

You don't tell me there aren't thousands of guys around who

are dying to wear spotted hats
and throw meat at each other.

Uh, Fonz, listen, this is really important to my dad.

I know that.

Look, Roger.

Yeah, brother.

When Fonzie said we were going bike
riding, he meant motorcycles.

Oh.

Well, I'll get the better workout.

What's the better workout?

Riding a bike or getting out of those shorts?

I grabbed a soda.

Yes, dear.

Uh, Mr. C., I think I've found a solution
to Mr. C.'s problem.

Oh, what problem's that, Fonz?

Oh, Roger, come here for a minute.

Yeah, what?

Don't you think it's time for you to kind of
step up into the social place here in this town?

Yeah.

You have the opportunity to become a leopard, pal.

A leopard?

That's right.

No, come on, they wouldn't take me.

This is going to be a lot easier than I thought.

Marion.

Come here, Roger.

Yeah.

Marion, would you please send this out to be steam cleaned?

If I'm going to get kicked out of the
lodge, I want to go out with a fuzz-free Fez.

Mr. C, Roger here has something very,
very important to tell you.

Yeah, yeah, you see, my buddy here,
Fonz, came up with a great idea.

Now, I think the leopards could get a few new
members if they had the right man to lead the way.

A young, vital community leader.

A man who, who, uh...

Carves paths that other men will follow.

Who carves paths that other men will follow.

Huh?

You know what I mean, Uncle Howard?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Fonzie, you would be a perfect leopard!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We're straying from the point here.

I was talking about if you join, everybody will follow you.

Yeah, that's true, except that I don't deserve this honor.

I mean, you're missing a genius here, you know?

Yeah.

He's missing a genius here.

Oh, but Fonzie, you could save my grand poobah ship.

Yeah, I don't want to die.

He has just hung your picture in the hall of fat cats.

No, big cats, Barry.

Oh, you are a real lifesaver.

Yeah.

Fonzie, God bless you.

Fonz, I knew we could count on you.

Gentlemen, I hereby call the meeting to order.

All right.

The first order of business will be the pledging of
our new, young, vital, and exciting Leopard Cubs.

So, without further ado, I present to you
our new class of pledges.

Guys?

Huh?

Fonz, we're grown men, and we're holding
each other's tails.

Now, let me get out of here.

We stake it.

And now, gentlemen, I present to you a man whose
every command you will obey until you earn your spots.

Our new, exalted Pledge Master.

You.

Guys think you love your material, huh?

Hiya, Fonz.

It's me, Pots.

Get out of my face.

During the next week, you'll speak to me
only when spoken to.

See, now, I told you there's something
good mixed in with the bed.

And you'll address me by my leopard name, Sabu.

Sabu?

Give me a sit down now.

All right, we'll continue.

We'll continue with the brain-teasing part
of the initiation.

Cup Phillips, step forward.

Your question.

Yes, sir, Sabu, sir.

What's green and fuzzy and has a thousand legs?

I don't know.

Me neither, but it's crawling on your arm.

What?

Isn't this great?

Club Arcola, step forward.

What do you get when you cross an elephant
with an alligator?

A suitcase that never forgets?

This is a curse.

You got it right.

Club Arcola is one smart pledge.

I got it right.

I got it right.

This means you're not going to squirt me now, right?

No.

You got.

It right.

Now, why'd you do that?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Let me clean it off.

Any more questions?

No, you... Sabu, sir.

Sit down.

Huh?

Great guys, aren't they?

All right, Cub Fonzarelli, are you ready for your question?

Oh, yeah.

Sabu?

I got one question to ask you just before we start, okay?

sh**t.

What happens when you get my jacket all wet?

It's getting late.

We better move on.

Great, everybody.

Let's get the pledge picture.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

What's with the chef's hat, Fonz?

You're supposed to be wearing one of these
beauties all week.

Little loophole here in the bylaws.

Why didn't I think of that?

Because I'm me and you're not.

Chachi, will you relax?

Our pledge period is almost over.

You know, they're going to vote us into
the leopards tonight.

We'll be doomed.

Yeah.

Come on, it's not that bad.

Soda made me wear a coastal on my pants, you know?

It's a very hot day.

I can live with that.

Haven't they given you the supreme test yet?

The tail twister, huh?

Oh, yes.

Yes, they sent me to a Packer football
game in ballet tights.

I almost got beat up waiting in line for a beer.

You know, some guy actually offered to
carry them to my seat.

It's light stuff.

Oh, yeah?

Mine is ten times worse.

You know what they made me do?

What?

I had to go to a truck stop.

Yeah?

And say nasty things about Johnny Cash.

Oh, okay.

Much word.

Thank you.

Much word.

Oh, here's my cups.

I knew you'd be at the watering hole.

Stand up.

Cut Fonzarelli.

You're supposed to stand up when a
superior enters the room.

As soon as one does, I will.

Can I talk with you in private, please?

Oh, yeah.

I'd love to spend some time with you alone, pal.

Look, the Grand Pooper himself sent me
over with your tail twister.

Oh, he did?

Mm-hmm.

I could take anything you give me, you understand?

Yeah, really.

What can they give to the fives that he can't handle?

I.

Have an announcement to make.

Bunny suits are now cool.

You know what?

I've always thought so.

I thought mine was bad.

Look what they did to him.

Fonzie, you're not really going through with this, are you?

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to go through with this.

So that tonight, I'm going to tell these
leopards exactly what they could do with this suit.

Well, well, well.

Everyone ready for a little fun and frolic?

I see you are, Fonz.

Mr. C, I'm in a bunny suit.

Didn't you give them the tea?

There are teas, too.

It's not important.

What?

I said it's not.

Oh, come on.

Mr. C, you want me, the Fonz, to walk down the street, my

street, that I used to Rumble on,
dressed as a woodland creature?

I have hospitalization.

I specialize people for less.

Well, I know it sounds a little silly,
but there's a good reason for it.

Oh, sure.

What are you going to do, take me down to
the dog races and let me loose?

I'm sorry you feel that way about it, Fonz, because
it really means a lot to the guys down at the lodge.

Does it also mean a lot to you?

Yes, and me, too.

All right, guys, let's go.

Initiation is up.

Here we are.

Everybody.

Have fun.

Yeah!

Do what Mr. Bunny does.

Everybody stand up.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

I love you, Mr. Bunny.

You know what?

What?

Mr. Bunny loves you.

Yes, I do.

Let's hop out of here.

Well, I'm sure we all agreed that this year's party for the
children at the Pfister Orphanage was the best ever, huh?

Now, I also have the final figures on our
Las Vegas night, and I am happy to report

that we raised enough money to buy a new
X-ray machine for the children's hospital.

And now, gentlemen, the moment we have all
been waiting for.

As Grand Poobah, I order the initiation to begin.

Gentlemen.

Each leopard has placed a marble in the sacred mugs.

White signifying yay and black signifying nay.

One black marble will prevent you ever
again from entering our sacred den.

Brother Phillips, step forward for your leopard judgment.

All white.

Welcome, Brother Phillips.

Your sacred leopard name is Simba.

Simba.

Thank you, Grand Poobah.

Sure, he gets Simba, I get Sabu.

Robert Cola, step forward.

Come on, black.

Again, all white.

Welcome, Brother Chachi.

Your sacred leopard name is...

Simbu.

Simbu?

Simbu.

You know, I just had Talos Monogram with that name on him.

Thank you.

And now, Cub Fonzarelli, step forward, please.

Now, hold it there, you Grand Poobah on this.

I got something to say.

When I said that I would join this little
club, I thought to myself, all right,

I'll come to a couple meetings,
I'll wear this stupid hat, so what?

Stupid hat?

Wait a minute.

He's delirious.

There's no ventilation in that bunny suit.

Will you sit down, Roger?

It's Zimba.

Sit down, Zimba.

Well, what I'm trying to say to you is I.

Would do this all over again if I had to
because what I found out is that when

you're not sh**ting seltzer down your
pants, you're actually really concerned

about people's people and kids and I'm very,
very proud that I could be here and be part of this.

That's all I want to say.

Thank you very much.

Thank.

You, Cub Fonzarelli.

That was a wonderful speech.

Yeah, I know.

And now, for your moment of leopard judgment.

Oh, yeah, let it rip.

A black marble.

Someone has blackballed Cub Fonzarelli.

Somebody blackballed me?

Somebody put a black marble in there for me?

Who would do such a thing?

Who cares?

I'll give you five bucks for it.

Who would blackball Fonzie?

I have no... No, no, wait a minute.

It wasn't me.

I didn't... No, no.

No, no.

I'm not...

Whoa.

What?

Why are we changing?

Why are we chasing him?

We're leopards now.

It's our duty.

Oh, look, you chase him, and I'll go home
just in case he shows up there.

Right.

Tell you one thing.

I hope you set a piece of him for me.

It, uh, it wasn't Donald who blackballed you, Fonz.

Mr. C, you tell me who it is, and then
dust off your funeral Fez, all right?

Yeah, well, I blackballed you.

Wouldn't it be kinder to just drive a
stake right through my heart?

Fonzie, you didn't really want to be a leopard, did you?

No, I didn't want to be a leopard until I
saw what you did with the kids.

You know, I thought that was great.

Oh, yes, but the things you like about the
leopards you already do on your own.

The rest you hate.

I would have seen it sooner if I had been
so busy thinking about keeping my gold Fez.

What I can't understand is how you put up
with it this long.

Come on, it's got to be so obvious.

Mr. C, I owe you.

For what?

You're not getting it.

I don't think you understand here, Mr. C.

Look, what I'm trying to say is...

When I really want to talk to somebody, who do I go to?

When I need advice, who do I go to?

When I want to tell somebody that something happened,
you know, and I want to tell them first, who do I go to?

Mr. C.

Mr. C.

I love you.

You know what I'm thinking?

You want to loan my rent?

No.

No, I was just thinking about the first
time I ever met you, Fonz.

You were sitting out of your motorcycle in
your leather jacket and a duck tail,

and I said to myself, Why would I want to know this person?

I mean, he'd be a bad influence for my children.

You said that?

Yeah, but I was never more wrong in my entire
life, except maybe putting you in that bunny suit.

Yes.

See, Fonzie, I'm a lot like, a little like
you in one respect.

It's sometimes very difficult for me to
tell somebody else how I feel.

Well, I... Sir, don't start now.

I don't have my hanky.

Listen, uh, okay, I can dig it.

I'm blackballed.

It's just that when you have one of these
bashes again, remember that the bunny suit fits me.

Can you do me a favor?

Sure, anything.

Drive me home.

I hopped over here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mr. Dodge, you're really gonna do this to poor Potsie?

Poor Potsie?

Yeah.

After what he did to us, Pledge Reek,
let me tell you something.

He's getting off easy.

Well, why don't you just burn him at the stake?

I thought of that, but Roger has no guts.

All right, easy.

Listen, Potsie just pulled in.

Listen, right after we get him, we'll give him a big belly.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Listen, we'll hold him down.

And you can do the honors.

Grow up.

Besides, there's no way I'm touching Potsie's stomach.

All right, you ready?

I will see thee and fill a pie.

Julius Caesar, act four, scene three.

Hit him with this, soupy sails.

Just act normal, but let him know, we gotta get this guy.

So he's a customer.

Yes, I got him.

Now!

Good choice.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These are such happy days.

Goodbye gray sky, hello blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right, I can't be wrong.

Welcome in a room, oh we've gone.

These days are ours, share them with me.

These days are ours, happy and free.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.