05x02 - A Serious Girl

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My Three Sons Starring Fred MacMurray And
as Bub, William Frawley.

Dottie, you know, you almost knocked that waiter over.

Oh, Robbie, I need some cats up.

All right.

May I borrow the cats up?

You know, I want a sweater like the one
that Margie Ruth had on, only in pink.

Uh-oh, Robbie Relish.

All right.

Now she wants Relish.

Oh.

I have almost as many swimming suits as I have sweaters.

I just love swimming suits.

The only thing is, I don't like to get them wet.

Sorry, I need the cats up.

Hey, Pete.

All this stuff's here.

Why don't you just bring your sandwich
over and switch places with me?

It's Robbie.

He can go talk to Lorraine.

Crazy.

Okay, Robbie-O?

Yeah, all good.

Thanks, sport.

Lorraine, I hope you don't mind if I sit
with you for a while.

Mine?

Why, it's such a relief to get away from
those children and talk to another adult.

Yeah, we adults ought to stick together.

Right.

Playing games with girls.

It's not a game, it's for real.

Verna Mae says she...

She...

She loves me.

She loves you?

Poor kid.

It's bad enough saying it to me.

She says it to the other kids.

Right out.

I you know what, Ernie Thompson.

I wondered where you've been.

She follows me.

And she looks at you like this.

It's just how she looks.

And she calls you Ernest?

How did you know, Chip?

Kid, I've been through this a lot of times.

I don't think I can stand it more than once.

Hey, look out.

See what I mean?

You should have come to me right away, Ernie.

I can tell you how to get rid of her.

Honest, Chip?

Sure.

I learned about girls from experience.

You just do what old Chip tells you,
and it'll be goodbye, Verna Mae.

Oh, hi, Bub.

Here, let me take that.

All right, thanks, thanks.

Say, while you were out, a Mrs. Hamilton called.

Uh-oh.

She wants you to call her back.

Has she called twice?

As a matter of fact, she wanted to thank you
for the potato salad you sent over to the social.

She's not thinking about potato salad.

But she said potato salad.

She's looking for a husband.

You, Bub?

Say, will you tell me why women are always
so serious with me?

You're irresistible.

Why, if I even close the door for a day,
it's like a proposal of marriage.

Hey, Bub, aren't you going to call Mrs. Hamilton?

What, and encourage it?

Well, what if she calls back?

Well, just tell her I'm out with another woman.

Mark, have you seen the rest of the morning paper?

The sports page is over there.

Well, I'm looking for the editorial page.

I didn't think you knew there was an editorial page.

Here it is.

I'll take the sports page, Rob.

Thank you.

Now, what is this sudden interest in editorials, Rob?

Well, there's one on the threat of automation.

I want to be able to discuss it intelligently.

Oh, sociology class?

On my date tonight.

On your date?

Mm-hmm.

Must be a new girl, huh?

Lorraine's no girl, Dad.

She's a woman.

Oh.

A woman?

Hmm.

Looks like he's a little young to be taking out women.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Mike,
as long as they stick to editorial pages.

Ernie, got a job cleaning the rocks?

No.

What are you doing it for?

When I count a Burnham A.

Rittenhouse.

What's she got to do with it?

Look.

Ernie Thompson loves Burnham A.

Rittenhouse?

It's really dirty.

All over the place.

I went all the way from here to Maple
Street, and two blocks down on 15th.

Why didn't you do like I told you?

I did.

Instead of hiding from her, I went right
up to her and looked fierce, and told her

what would happen if she kept tagging
after me and saying that awful thing.

She didn't stop, huh?

It made her worse.

She said, oh, how wonderful I was,
so strong and brave and all that junk.

And the meaner I got, the sillier she got.

One thing I forgot to tell you, Ernie.

What works with one girl doesn't work with all of them.

I wonder if anything's going to work with Vernon May.

Well, leave it to me.

This time we'll use the method I used on
Betty Bernice Lassiter.

Dad, this is Robert Douglas.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Pendleton.

How are you, Rob?

Fine.

How's your dad?

How's my old golf partner?

Oh, he's just great.

You know, Lorraine takes a dim view of golf.

She feels it's a childish waste of time.

I know.

I'm ready, Carl.

Margaret, this is Steve Douglas' boy, Robbie.

Well, hello.

How do you do?

Oh, Lorraine has been telling us some very
nice things about you, Robbie.

Are you sure you don't want to come to the movies with us?

No, thanks, Mother, but enjoy yourselves.

All right.

We won't be late.

So long, nice to meet you.

Night.

Well, now, shall we sit down?

All right.

Oh, no, no, not there.

Why don't you sit in Daddy's chair?

Okay.

Would you like something from the kitchen?

No, thank you.

Oh, well, put your feet up.

Be comfortable.

Do you mind?

Oh, no.

Oh, okay.

Isn't this perfect?

Perfect.

I think this is the real test of whether
two people like each other.

You know, you can go dancing or to
football games with just anybody.

But how many people would you like to
spend a quiet evening with?

Like this.

Not many.

But yet that's marriage.

Marriage?

Mm-hmm, a lifetime of quiet evenings together.

I read that editorial today.

The first thing to find out about a person is if
you can just sit and talk with him and be happy.

You know, if you can, he has the
qualifications for a good husband.

Husband?

You don't look comfortable, Robert.

No, Mary, just thinking of the other person's comfort.

Here.

There you go.

Thank you.

You know, I sensed last night that you were the type of
mature, level-headed man I've always wanted to meet.

Thank you.

You're pretty mature and level-headed yourself.

Oh, it's such a relief to get away from all those
childish high school games and start acting our age.

Yeah.

Lorraine, how old are you?

I'll be 18 next month.

Isn't it terrible?

Time's going so fast.

Well, we still have a few good years left.

It's criminal the way they make us postpone
the really important... important things.

Career, marriage, children.

You think a lot about marriage, don't you?

Of course.

I'd have been married a long time ago,
but I've been waiting for the right man.

I like it.

As well as the other silver pattern?

It's just as nice.

I prefer this one.

Fine, Miss Pendleton, I'll make a note of it.

And then when your friends come in to select
your wedding gifts, we'll be able to assist them.

Will the, uh, will the big day be soon?

Well, you see... Well, we don't
believe in long engagements.

Very sensible.

Just let me get my ledger and note down your choices.

Lorraine, I don't think you should let him think that
you and I are... Well, I mean, he has the idea that...

Oh, forgive me, Robert.

I had no right to speak for both of us like that.

Well, maybe you do believe in long engagements.

I haven't really thought about it.

I always thought that when people get
engaged, the guy gave the girl a ring.

An engagement ring.

Just look at these.

Wait a minute, I didn't mean... Oh, Robert, look at them.

This is the choices assortment in Bryant Park.

Oh, look at that one.

Isn't that beautiful?

Very simple, but yet quite lovely.

I wonder how... Look at my hand.

Perhaps the gentleman would assist the lady.

It is customary.

Oh, I'm so happy, Robert.

Look, isn't it beautiful?

I just adore it.

Congratulations.

You're a very fortunate young man.

It must be cash or charge.

Wait, I'm not ready to... I
dreamed of this moment all my life.

But I never, never thought it could be so
wonderful as this.

Lorraine, I...

Charge it.

Stephen Douglas.

What happened to you?

I did like you told me to.

Boy, this is the worst you act.

Has there ever been written out to that to you?

The one I said worked.

She hates you.

She said she loves me more than ever.

Then how come she beat up on you?

I did like you said.

I pretend I like that old... Edna Lou Talbot.

I wrote her names on the sidewalks.

I ate some of Edna Lou's brownies at recess.

I even let her carry my books.

I should have finished her with Verna Mae.

She jumped on Edna Lou and started really giving it to her.

I tried to pull them apart.

That's when I got this.

Wow.

Boy, Verna Mae sure is a good right hook.

Ernie, I just got an idea.

No more ideas.

So far your experience got me blisters
from scrubbing the sidewalks a black eye,

and now instead of one clunky girl in love
with me, now I got two.

Oh, come here.

Hi, Rob.

Hi, Dad.

You know, if you're real busy, I can come back later.

No, I just ran into a little problem.

Something on your mind?

We have an account at Moma's Jewelry Store, don't we?

Yeah, sure.

Well, when you get the next bill,
there'll be something on it that I charged.

Oh, do you need a new fountain pen or something?

No, no, an engagement ring.

I just want you to get in the habit of...

Engagement ring?

Are you sure you wouldn't rather I came back later?

You bought an engagement ring?

Yeah, for Lorraine Pendleton.

Well, Rob, this is a pretty important step.

Why didn't you come and talk to me before you bought it?

Well, I didn't know before that I was going to do it.

Oh, you just did it on impulse?

Well, something like that.

Well, don't look so speaking, Rob.

We all do things on impulse.

I remember when I was your age,
I bought an engagement ring for a girl.

She gave it back to me when her finger turned green.

I'm glad you came to me before you gave
the ring to Lorraine.

Dad, she's wearing it.

Well, you didn't waste any time.

No.

No, we got engaged right there in Mullman's Jewelry Store.

Well, I guess there's no harm in Lorraine having
some fun with her friends, showing off an engagement ring.

Dad, Lorraine's not like that.

We're not just playing any game.

This is for real, for keeps.

Well, you think that now, Rob, but in a
couple of weeks, she'll give you the ring back.

No, not Lorraine.

And that ring won't turn her finger green.

Not at those prices.

Rob, listen to me.

It's normal to be impatient at your age.

Everything and everybody seems to be trying to
keep you from growing up, from becoming an adult.

In other times, boys and girls did grow up sooner.

Things were simpler.

But you're living in a very complicated world now, Rob.

It takes more complicated preparation for
earning a living, being a husband, or raising a family.

Dad, maybe people make it seem more
complicated than it really is.

I mean, falling in love and getting married and raising
a family ought to be the simplest thing in the world.

Well, that's the way you feel now.

Well, then why should I wait till it
starts getting complicated?

Rob, how do Lorraine's parents feel about the engagement?

She's telling them now.

I just hope they're as dull about it as you've been, Dad.

Yeah.

Steve, has Rob ever given a girl a ring before?

No, of course not, Carl.

This is his first engagement.

We hope not his last.

None of the other boys was serious enough to suit Lorraine.

But Robbie suits her just fine.

Well, what are we going to do?

I'll lock them in their rooms until they get over it.

Well, now, the one thing we don't want to do is
stampede them into running off and eloping or something.

I'm married just to show it.

That's right.

Well, if we encourage them, then what do
you think's going to happen?

Well, there'll be less chance of them
getting married secretly.

Robbie can't marry anyone.

He can't even support himself.

Unless...

Unless what?

Unless it is the real thing.

Ben, why are you still running away from those girls?

No, they're not following me anymore.

Then what are you doing?

Waiting for Verna Mae.

Waiting for her?

Why?

I want to see if she's with somebody.

What do you care who she's with, as
long as she isn't in love with you anymore?

She wasn't ever in love with me.

Then why'd she act the way she did, tagging
along and beating up on Enda Lou Talbot?

Just so she could make Sandy Wilkerson jealous.

Look.

Girls, how long does it take to learn all
there is to know about them?

I miss this kind of family get-together.

Me too.

Well, when Lorraine and Robbie get
married, we'll just make a regular thing of it.

Oh, marvelous.

One Sunday, Mr. and Mrs. Robert Douglas
and all the Douglas family can come to our

house and the next Carl and I will come here.

Oh, wonderful.

Say, you two are awfully quiet over there.

We're just listening.

Well, Bub, I think maybe we ought to show
Lorraine around the house, huh?

Yeah.

After all, this is going to be her house one of these days.

That's right.

Oh, you were so pleased when you suggested
that she and Robbie set up housekeeping right here.

Well, it makes sense.

After all, they can't afford a place of
their own right now, and we can certainly

use the woman's touch around here, right, Bub?

Right.

Come on along, dear.

Rob.

Yes, sir.

While they're giving Lorraine the grand
tour, let's you and I have a little financial talk.

Okay.

Sit down.

Now, I know you're worrying about how
you're going to support Lorraine.

Well, as a matter of fact, I... Put your mind at ease.

Put it at ease.

Rob, I've had a long talk with my partner,
and you're going to work for us.

I am.

And this is your story.

Nice.

Lorraine makes delicious cream puffs.

Wonderful.

This is a miraculous contraption.

All you have to do is put the food on and stand back.

Oh, she'll soon get the hang of it, Bub,
after cooking three meals a day for six people.

Margaret, don't you do those dishes now.

Let Lorraine do it.

It'll be a good chance for her to get used
to the sink, right, Lorraine?

Well, there's not much salary at first,
but I'm sure that's what you'd expect.

Oh, yeah.

And the hours, of course, well, they'll be flexible.

Of course, you can't count on an
eight-hour day or even a five-day week,

but I can promise you that you won't have
to work every weekend.

Oh, that's good.

And here is your dryer and here is your washer.

You're going to spend a lot of time with that little baby.

I never run a washing machine.

Well, just don't panic if the overflow of
the valve sticks reach for the mop.

And there's your iron and, oh, Bub, why don't
you tell Lorraine how we like the starch in our shirts?

Oh, I'll be glad to.

Steve likes his heavy, Mike, medium,
Robbie, light, and Chip, none at all.

And you use very little, Bub, huh?

Very little.

Well, now, another advantage to this job is you
won't have too much leisure time on your hands.

Oh.

Where you'll be tempted to waste money on movies and such.

That's good.

Lorraine, you and Robbie will have the
room at the top of the stairs.

Chip's in it with him now.

Oh, well, I can see it some other time, Mr. Douglas.

Well, it might be a good idea to wait until Chip
gets his rocks and things out of there anyway.

Yes, that's right.

See, this young man's got his feet on the ground.

It was a real pleasure to talk with him.

Oh, good.

We just can't wait till Lorraine shows up and takes over.

Yeah.

It'll be like a vacation for you, Bub, huh?

Well, I don't really feel right about all this.

I don't either.

I mean, Mr. Pendleton having to go to all
this trouble just to give me a job and...

And people having to move out of their rooms
and give up their stoves and washing machines.

Oh, we know how important all this is for you two.

All we ask is to be a small part of it, right?

One hundred percent.

We don't want to lose you just because you
found each other, huh?

I should say that.

Well, Bub, Margaret, Carl, let's, uh...
We have a few plans to talk over, huh?

All right.

Oh, hi, Rob.

Dad, I'm sorry to bother you.

Oh, that's all right.

Come on in.

I thought you were in bed hours ago.

Well, I was, but I couldn't sleep.

A guilty conscience, I guess.

Oh?

Guilty about what?

Dad, Lorraine and I, we...

Well, we've been keeping something from you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now I know we shouldn't have, but, uh...

Well, we thought it was just between the
two of us, and it...

It just didn't really... It didn't
really concern anybody else.

Well, uh...

How could you think it wouldn't concern anyone else?

I mean, uh...

How could I help but be concerned about something that...

that's going to change the rest of your life?

Yeah.

Well, today, when we saw how interested you
all were, and how much it really meant to you, we.

We felt awful that we didn't tell you right away.

Ah.

When did it happen?

Friday night.

Friday night, huh?

We were in a mall shop.

In a mall shop?

Pete and Dottie came in, and, well,
the first thing you know, I was talking to

Dottie, and Lorraine was talking to Pete, and we were both
having more fun than we'd had in the last couple of weeks.

So, Lorraine gave me the ring back that night.

You, uh...

You mean she broke the engagement?

Well, we both broke the engagement.

We both agreed.

Uh-huh.

Dad, I'm sorry, I... Well, it's all right.

I know this is a big disappointment for
you and Mr. and Mrs. Pendleton.

Well, Rob, I'll admit it was a surprise, but...

I'll tell you, you just give us a little time,
and I think maybe we'll all be able to adjust.

I hope so.

Night, Dad.

Good night, Rob.