06x06 - Office Mother

[bunniefuu]

Well, how'd I do, coach?

Douglas, I can only carry three freshman hurdlers.

Right now, you're about sixth.

Oh.

Well, is it okay if I keep trying?

I mean, at least until the team is set?

Well, that's up to you.

Oh, thanks, coach.

Hi, Kathy.

What are you doing here?

I was on my way to the parking lot, and I saw you.

Oh, that's too bad.

I ran like an old man chasing a streetcar.

Robbie, I don't know much about hurtling.

Yeah, well, you won't learn much by watching me.

I think you start your, uh, grand jeté too soon.

My what?

Grand jeté.

It's the big jump, the lead.

It's what we do in ballet class.

Oh, well, this grand jeté might be all right for jumping
over one ballerina, but these hurdles are ten yards apart.

Robbie, don't make fun of something you
don't know anything about.

Kathy, I've seen ballet before.

Where?

Well, kids' dancing school, hunks of movies, TV.

How important.

How important is it for you to make the track team?

Plenty.

But I've hardly got a chance.

Then you've got nothing to lose by taking
a couple of ballet classes.

You've got to be kidding.

I'm perfectly serious.

Are you man enough to give it a try?

Man enough?

Get dressed and come to class with me.

Oh, Kathy, I couldn't.

What would the guys say?

Nobody has to know anything about it.

And now, since you've made such a big issue
of it, either you come to class with me or, uh.

...

Don't bother picking me up tonight.

Oh, no!

Oh, yeah.

Yes, it's good, but not good enough.

I think you better take a little bit rest, darling.

Oh, mademoiselle Moore!

Madame Robbie Douglas, Madame Chernoff.

Pleased to meet you.

Splendid, splendid.

At last we have male dancer.

Well, real dancing.

I mean, you know, regular type dancing
where the guy faces the girl and...

Walk.

Madame, I... Walk!

And turn.

Slowly.

Turn, darling.

Very slowly, please.

Now walk back to me.

Softly.

There are little ducklings on the floor.

You don't want to crush them.

Possibilities.

Remote, but possibilities.

Madam Chernoff, I... Chernoff,
darling, the T is pronounced.

Madam Chernoff, I only came here because Kathy...

Well, you see, it was kind of a crazy idea, and...

Well, I've been trying to make the track team, and...

Well, Kathy had this idea about hurdles
and muscles and stuff, and...

But ballet dancing...

What is wrong with ballet?

Tell me.

Oh, nothing.

No, it's great.

It's great, you know, for girls.

For girls, huh?

You think ballet is only for weak women, yes?

You think it's for men it's too easy?

No, no, I didn't exactly mean that.

You are like the others.

Because of this, Chernoff has only ballerinas.

We have Cinderella, but no Prince Charley.

We have Giselle, but no Albrecht.

We have Queen of Swans, but no Prince Siegfried.

Only poor girls.

Come, I am going to show you.

Mademoiselle Cathy.

Attendez.

Pas de chat.

Pas de chat.

Pas de chat.

Pas de chat.

Pas de chat.

Changement.

Changement.

Changement.

Entre chacun.

Entre chacun.

Entre chacun.

Now,

you have seen the weak little woman
perform her silly little ballet, yes?

It was great.

Well, those kind of leaps, Kathy,
you should go out for track.

Yes, leaps, Nijinsky, Massy, Njuskiewicz, Nureyev,
oh, great dancers, great athletes, one and the same.

Everyone has endurance, coordination,
control and that's all you need Robbie and

madame could help you well that would be
difficult but a challenge well I'm not

sure madame I mean if anybody ever found
out we'll darling we are above all that I

see you Monday 430 ready for work yes back to work.

Yeah the flashlight needs to do batters
they can't get the bottom off it's rusted

stuck well Chip I have a dinner date and I
have to pick her up in about 20 minutes

you don't need it right away dear yeah I'm
going hunting hunting what are you going

to hunt with a flashlight night crawlers I
gotta bring them to school tomorrow oh not.

Chip for science class Mr. Pendleton
picked me out of the whole class can't let

him down gotta get a worm for everybody it
is rusted isn't it is this the only

flashlight we've got in the house yeah hey
Steve about that side of beef the

butcher's been holding it for a week now
do you want it or don't you well with

seven males in the house including the
dogs I think we ought to get a whole cow

Charlie see if you can get that off for
you I've got to get dressed chip needs it

for night crawler hunting what I can't go
to school tomorrow without night crawlers

out of all the kids in your class how come you end up with
the night crawler concession oh darn it The button came off.

Is this your way of telling me I'm a
failure as a wise woman?

Well, as a matter of fact, I am down to my
last white shirt, Charlie.

I didn't mean it was your fault that the button came off.

Say, Uncle Charley, there's some guy on
the phone that says he has a beef with you.

Not with me, for me.

Here, see if you can open it.

Chip needs you for nightcrawler hunting.

Give me the shirt.

For what?

Can't go to school without nightcrawlers.

And the button, yeah.

Boy, I must have another white shirt somewhere.

Say, Dad, do you think sometimes it's
better to admit when you can't do

something and give up instead
of wasting your time and breaking

your heart when you know you're going to wipe out anyway?

Oh, come on, Rob.

Opening a flashlight isn't that important.

Opening a flashlight, I meant the track team.

Oh, I thought you were going to try to
qualify for the low hurdles.

I've been trying.

With the other guys, the coach uses a stopwatch.

With me, his wristwatch.

Here's your shirt.

Oh, thanks.

I'll tell the butcher you'll want the whole cow.

Oh, no, no.

I was only kidding.

We don't have a room in the freezer.

Just get the half, huh?

Well, Rob, if getting on the track team is
important to you, you just keep trying, huh?

Oh, I got it.

Here, Chip.

Thanks, Rob.

Hey, Dad, maybe there's a moral to this.

I guess I'll keep trying for the track team, too.

Good.

Dad, you're not going to wear that, are you?

Well, sure, why not?

Well, it's all dirty.

What do you mean, dirty?

Look, it's all over the collar there.

Oh, boy.

It's the rust off of that flashlight.

And I haven't got anything but this striped shirt left.

Now, what can I wear with that?

sh*t.

Ernie.

James Bond, secret agent 007, licensed to sh**t.

Well, why do you have to report 007 and make it snappy?

Just that all you guys act the same when a
secret agent is watching as you do anyhow.

Where is he?

Does he know he keeps the channel of waiting?

Go, bring him.

Guilt.

Robbie?

Madame is getting impatient.

Kathy, I can't come out like this.

Oh, Robbie, we've seen ballet costumes before.

Dear Douglas, where are you?

Oh, come on, she's getting mad.

Come on, come on, dear boy, can't you see?

Aha!

The first thing you must learn is to be where you
are supposed to be when you are supposed to be.

One second late, the prima ballerina falls on the floor.

Yes, I know that.

Now, all steps start from one step.

One of five positions.

Observe, mademoiselle Moore, and do how she do.

All right.

First position, hands on bar.

Other hand in soft curve.

Oh, darling, soft, soft.

But not too soft.

There.

Now, toes out as possible.

What?

Foot on the floor.

Knee straight.

Knee straight, darling.

Derriere, under, under, back.

What.

Are your little toes doing?

Answer me.

What are your little toes doing?

They're stretching.

That's all I know.

They are off the floor.

One more.

Foot on the bar, please.

Good.

And down.

Now, Mr. Douglas, foot on the bar.

And down.

Darling, what are you doing with your foot?

I'm stuck.

He's stuck.

What happened to you?

Oh.

Just trying to... Too hard, coach.

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh.

Oh, nothing.

I'm just stretching.

Okay.

You ready for a time trial?

Yes, sir.

Is he a friend of yours?

He's pathetic.

Pretty sad, Douglas.

Just have to stick with it, Robbie.

Everybody is sore at first.

I don't know if I can lift this.

This ballad, he's pretty rugged.

I don't know if.

I can.

Lift this.

Good, good.

But, monsieur, when you turn, you are not spotting.

If you do not learn to spot, you will find
yourself in the laps of the audience.

Audience?

Yes, at our recital, they will be sitting right here.

Oh, but, madame, I thought you understood.

I only took these lessons so that I could,
well, I mean, so I could qualify for the team.

Oh, I'm not going to get up in front of an
audience like this.

Oh, I'm not going to get up in front of an
audience like this.

Of course you will.

But, madame, I thought you understood.

Enough.

If Chernoff says you must, you must.

Hi, Ernie.

Anybody else?

Yes, sir.

Oh, Douglas.

Well, okay.

Good luck, Robbie.

Well, it's now or never, Hubie.

Thank you, Marks.

All right, ready.

Get set.

Jeté!

Jeté!

Jeté!

Gros jeté!

Oh, Bobby!

Oh, about that!

I did better, huh?

Better.

Douglas, you went over those hurdles like a ballet dancer.

I did?

Well, how about that?

Oh, Robbie, we're like the Chinsky.

Thanks to you.

Thanks to Madame.

Yeah, I'll write her a nice little note.

Thank her at practice.

I won't be at any more practice, Kathy.

Why not?

Well, I don't need that all-girl ballet anymore.

What about our recital?

Recital?

Me?

Get up in front of all those people?

Madame was counting on you.

Kathy, you know I only took ballet for one
reason, to improve my hurtling.

Now that you've got what you want, you quit.

Well, sure.

Oh, wait, what's wrong with that?

Well, if you don't know, I can't tell you.

Hey, Kathy, wait a minute.

What about our date tonight?





It's okay.

I threw off my pursuers.

Spies?

Worse.

Ballet dancers.

You don't tell me.

I do.

It's a plot.

The g*ng is posing as a bunch of ballet dancers
to get in the palace in time to m*rder the king.

How do we stop them, 007?

I just happen to look exactly like the king.

I take his place, and when they come to
knock him off, whammo.

We all feel safer knowing you're on our side.

I'm not on Robbie's side.

He's one of the ballet dancers.

Robbie, a ballet dancer?

When you're on the secret agent game,
you come across some strange things.

What a ballet dancer.

Robbie?

Mister, if you got the stomach for it, I could take
you to see something you just wouldn't believe.



Now, uh, maybe you'd better tell me what
you're talking about.

Well, it's like this.

Thank you, monsieur.

Madame Chernoff.

Chernoff.

Madame Chernoff.

Of course.

And I suppose you are the fire inspector
come to condemn my studio.

No, my, uh, my visit is unofficial and friendly.

Oh?

You are, uh, interested in ballet?

Oh, yes, yes, I've always had a great
admiration for the discipline of ballet dancers.

Uh-huh.

So?

Well, you have lovely, tall figure, you have beautiful
physique, but don't you think it's a little late for you?

Oh, well, madam, uh, cheer enough.

Good!

Thank you.

I'm Stephen Douglas, and I came here to
talk to you about my son, Robbie Douglas.

Ah, Robbie Douglas.

He is, of course, ashamed of ballet.

He is ashamed to dance beautiful ballet
with beautiful girl.

Well, that's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about.

Let us talk in my apartment.

I have some of our, I give you tea.

Oh, thank you.

Come this way.

Hey, Dad.

Oh, hi, Rob.

Dad, I've got some great news.

Oh, what's that?

I made the freshman track team number one herder.

Well, congratulations, Rob.

That just shows you what perseverance will do, huh?

Yeah.

Well, I would have quit if you hadn't encouraged me.

Now all I have to do is convince Chip not
to quit the boys' choir.

I thought he just joined.

Well, it turns out he joined because he
heard they were going to have a picnic at

the Cape, and now the picnic's over,
so he's decided to quit.

Well, if he joins us to go to the picnic, and the
picnic is finished... Well, Rob, do you think that's fair?

I mean, do you think it's fair to the
other kids in the choir and the director?

Well...

After all, the choir's very important to them.

Yeah.

And Chip used them to get something he wanted, and
now that he's got it, he, uh, well, he's going to walk out.

Do you really think that's the right thing to do?

Uh, no.

No, no, not when you put it like that.

Oh.

Dad, uh, I'd like to get your opinion on something.

I've seen hula dances in Coco Fuji,
and I've seen the Watuchi done by real.

Watuchis, but this is the first time I've been to a ballet.

Is it just going to be dancing?

Oh, yes, Chip.

You see, ballet is a story told with dancing.

If anybody else told me, I wouldn't believe it.



No, just plain Ernie Douglas.

What's plain Ernie Douglas doing hiding in
the closet instead of James Bond?

I found out more about James Bond.

He isn't all fighting and spying.

He goes out with girls.

Oh, well, I don't think that's absolutely necessary.

That's just, uh, well, sort of a hobby with him.

Now you tell me.

I tried it.

You know, grab the girl's arm and flip her with judo.

Don't ever try it with Sarah Ann Murdock.

You tried it, huh?

Uh-huh.

Is that why you're hiding in the closet?

If she finds me, she's gonna beat me up.

Please close the door.

Oh, okay.

I'll leave it open just a crack so you can breathe, huh?

And I'll tell you, you can hide in the closet for five
minutes more and then you can start hiding in bed, okay?

Okay, Dad.