06x10 - My Son, the Ballerina

[bunniefuu]

I always thought you liked my cornbread.

I like it.

I'm just not hungry.

It isn't only the cornbread.

He hasn't eaten anything.

What's wrong, Chip?

Nothing, Dad.

He's been awfully quiet.

Something happen at school?

No, everything's just fine.

He's been acting sort of funny all week.

Don't you feel well?

I feel great, just great.

Dad, can I be excused?

I have a lot of homework to do.

Did you finish your dinner?

Can I have his cornbread?

Why not?

Maybe we ought to take Chip's temperature.

Yeah, there has been a virus going around.

It's not a virus.

It's Mary Lou Walker.

Mary Lou Walker?

I never heard Chip mention her.

He doesn't mention her.

He just follows her.

He follows her?

Yeah.

Every day after school, he hides in bushes
and things and watches her go past.

And sometimes he stands and looks at her house.

It's creepy.

Ernie, how do you know he follows her?

Because I follow him.

Ernie, where does Mary Lou Walker live?

Over on Spruce Street.

Well, that must be Frank Walker's daughter.

I didn't know he had any children in Chip's age.

He doesn't.

Mary Lou's a whole grade ahead of Chip.

Oh, poor Chip.

He's falling for an older woman.

What does it matter if she's older?

One girl's as bad as another.

You're right, Ernie.

Any woman's naturally got the jump on any
man, even when they start equal.

Give her a couple of years' experience and
the poor guy's got no chance at all.

Right, Uncle Charley.

Wait a minute, Janice.

Don't you see what I see?

Isn't it beautiful?

Oh, yeah.

Janice, look.

What?

Do you know who that was?

Robbie Douglas.

I'd sure like to meet him.

He's really boss.

Older men are dreamy.

So, so old.

She doesn't even know I'm alive.

Come on.

Oh, come in there.

How's the homework coming?

Oh, okay.

Charley's chocolate cake was very good.

He's saving some for you, but you better
not wait too long to get down there.

Ernie is poised, ready to spring.

Better?

Yeah.

I was just resting my eyes.

Chip, if anything's worrying you... Oh, no, Dad.

I mean nothing I can talk about.

Well, if you change your mind, I'll be around.

Dad?

Yeah, Chip?

Yeah.

Can I borrow a pencil?

Oh, sure.

Help yourself.

I guess having just boys around,
you wouldn't know too much about girls.

Well, I don't claim to be the final authority, Chip,
but what I do know, I'd be glad to share with you.

Now, was there any particular area, or did
you just want to talk about girls in general?

Older girls.

Like maybe 14 or 15.

Well, girls of 14 or 15 vary a lot, Chip.

I mean, some of them act quite grown up, and others
act about the same as they did when they were 12 or 13.

Well, mostly she acts grown up.

Oh, there's one particular girl.

Mary Lou Walker.

Well, maybe she just acts grown up when
she's around you to impress you.

I don't think so, because she doesn't know I'm around.

In fact, she doesn't even know I'm alive.

You kind of like Mary Lou.

Yeah.

Well, why haven't you let her know that you're alive?

Well, I thought about it.

Once I almost spoke to her.

But suppose, well, suppose she didn't answer me or
thought I was some kind of a dope or laughed at me.

Well, there's a certain risk involved when
you try to make friends with anyone new, Chip.

But I think it's worth it in this case, unless you're
willing to settle for seeing her from a distance.

Well, it's safe, but it's not much fun.

It's like cowboys and Indians.

Always hiding behind bushes.

Well, it would be easier if she were in
your grade, wouldn't it?

The girls in my grade are all clunky.

Always standing around.

Mary Lou's different.

That's why I like her.

Well, Chip, do you like her enough to ask her for a date?

I thought about it.

She says no.

That's the end of everything.

On the other hand, she might say yes.

You really think so, Dad?

There's only one way to find out, huh?

Well, I could phone her.

That might be a little easier.

Chip, if Mary Lou should say no for one reason or another,

she'll still be pleased that you
thought enough about her to ask.

Thanks, Dad.

Good luck.

Oh, Chipper, you forgot what you came in here for.

Huh?

Oh, yeah.

Thanks, Dad.

Who are you calling?

Nobody.

What were you dialing for?

Hey, Ernie, you can have my Dutch
chocolate cake if you want it.

Hey, no kidding.

Gee, thanks.

I'll be right back.

Don't hurry.

Hello?

Hello?

Who is it?

I don't know.

It's for me.

Who is this?

Douglas.

Douglas.

Douglas.

Douglas.

Douglas.

I guess you probably don't know who I am.

Oh, but I do.

You do?

Oh, well, listen, I guess you already have
a date for Friday night.

No, I don't have a date.

Well, I don't suppose you'd be interested
in going out with me.

I'd love to.

What time should I be ready?



Perfect.

Thanks so much for calling.

Till Friday, then.

Yeah, till Friday.

Do you know who that was?

How can I tell who it was?

It was Robbie Douglas.

He asked me for a date.

I'm going out with Robbie Douglas.

A real, honest-to-goodness college man.

Oh, Janice, I can't believe it.

I just can't believe it.

What do you mean you can't believe it?

You underestimate yourself, Chip.

She said yes.

I'm scared.

Good morning, Uncle Charley.

Good morning.

Congratulations, I hear you got a heavy date for Friday.

Yeah.

She's a lucky girl.

Yeah, she's a mighty lucky girl.

Where are you taking her?

Oh, my gosh.

What's the matter?

Well, I don't know where I'm taking her.

I just asked her to go out.

I never even thought about where.

Morning, Uncle Charley.

Good morning.

At ease, mate.

I got the perfect dancer for you.

Take her bowling.

Well, what if she doesn't bowl?

So you teach her.

Well, I'm not that good.

Well, if she doesn't bowl at all,
then you're better than she is.

And that's great, because that gives you
the upper hand right off.

Rat trap-a-go-go.

Rat trap-a-go-go?

It's the place.

The only place.

It's the place, Chip.

Mary Lou will flip over it.

After ten minutes of dancing, she'll be
convinced that going there was her idea.

Yeah, but... Let me tell you,
that's the big secret on a date.

You do what you want to do, but you
make the girl think you're doing it just for her.

You get the picture?

I think so.

Oh.

And, Chip, this Friday night will be just the greatest
because the combo that's playing is Tarzan and his apes.

Sounds great.

Well, as usual, I've solved all your problems.

So long, you guys.

The only trouble is, I'd be too scared to
dance with Mary Lou.

I got an idea.

Want to hear it?

Why not?

You say you really like her?

That's right.

And you want to do something that's fun?

Of course.

Well, the most fun you and I ever had was the time
we hiked up to Lookout Hill and camped out overnight.

What are you talking about, Ernie?

I can't ask Mary Lou to do a clunky thing like that.

Maybe I ought to forget the whole thing.

Hey, you finished breakfast already?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I'm a little late, I guess.

Hi, Chippy.

Hi, Dad.

Say, uh, Chip, when you mentioned your date with Mary
Lou last night, you didn't say what you were going to do.

I mean, where are you taking her?

Well, Uncle Charley says bowling, Robbie
says dancing, and I won't tell you what Ernie said.

What's your suggestion?

Well, uh, where would you like to take her?

Me?

Well, this is probably pretty corny,
but I thought we might just go to a movie.

Of course, that isn't a very exciting date
for a girl like Mary Lou.

Well, I think that's a perfect idea, Chip.

No kidding?

Oh.

Oh.

Just what I would have suggested myself.

Boy, that's a relief.

Thanks, Dad.

Okay.

Dates off.

The dates off?

Turn off the TV, Ernie.

What do you mean, the dates off, Chip?

Did Mary Lou break it?

No, I... I've got to break it.

Why you got to break it?

Well, I thought everything was all set, Chip.

I mean, what you were going to wear, where you were going,
and... Yeah, but we forgot the most important thing of all.

How do I get to the show and back?

If you could drive, I'd let you use my car, Chip.

What's wrong with walking?

Walking?

Oh, I know it's gone out of style, but it's still the
surest way of getting from one place to the other.

I can't ask a girl like Mary Lou to walk.

How about taking her on your bike?

Uh, Ernie, yeah.

Or you can go on yours, and she can use mine.

With that bar across?

Girl can't use your bike, Ernie.

Oh, that's hopeless.

I'll call her and tell her I can't go.

I'll tell you what, Chip.

I'll be your chauffeur.

We'll go over and pick up Mary Lou, and then I'll drop you
off at the theater, and I'll pick you up afterwards, okay?

Yeah, but you'll think I'm a kid.

I guess it's the only way.

Thanks, Dad.

Yeah, you're welcome.

Another crisis averted.

Yeah.

Glad Friday's D-Day.

I couldn't go through much more of this.

On the other hand, I think the same as you do.

I absolutely agree.

You're so right.

On the other hand, I think the same as you do.

I absolutely agree.

You're so right.

What do you think?

Well, I don't know.

What do you think?

On the other hand, I think the same as you do.

Well, it depends on how you look at it.

Hey, do you like school?

Chipper.

Oh, hi, Dad.

I thought you were in bed.

It's a little late.

Well, I was just practicing.

You're practicing, huh?

Yeah, for tomorrow night.

You know, what to say to Mary Lou.

I'm scared I won't have anything to talk about.

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, Chip.

You'll find plenty of things to talk about.

And don't forget, Mary Lou will be there,
and she'll be contributing to the conversation.

You think so?

Oh, you can count on it.

Come on, let's get it going.

Boy, Dad, things were sure a lot simpler before.

Uh, before what, Chipper?

Before Mary Lou.

Oh.

Listen, I want to order a cassage for tonight.

Something real nice.

You know, for a first date.

No, not my first date.

I'm sending this for somebody else.

I want her to see this kid's no cheapskate.

Eh, that sounds good.

Simple but elegant.

Well, you know more about corsages than I do.

Just so it's big enough so she knows she's wearing it.

You know, not one of those skimpy little two-flower jobs.

In fact, I'd appreciate it if you'd make
up something especially nice.

No, no, I'm doing this for my kid brother.

Well, thank you.

You sound like a very thoughtful person, too.

George Jack?

Oh, well, my name is Robbie Douglas.

Yeah.

No, I'm sorry.

I don't know what color dress you'll be wearing.

Blonde or brunette?

I'm sorry.

I don't know that either.

No, no, it's not a blind date.

It's my son's.

Yes, of course, he's seen it.

Look, could you just send a pretty little
all-purpose corsage of some kind?

Yeah?

How do I look?

Oh, you look good.

You look fine, Chip.

Is this okay?

I've seen older men in movies wear them.

They call that an ascot.

I'll tell you, Chip, now, I'm an older
man, so you can take my word for it.

That'd be great if you were taking Mary
Lou to the tennis matches or the races or

something like that, but I think maybe for
the night that, well, that plain black tie

you wore Sunday, I think it'd look better with that suit.

Why don't we try it and see, huh?

Okay.

Is this the tight man?

Yeah, I think that'll look much better, Chip.

Boy, I spent about two hours combing my hair.

But you know something?

I think maybe you've got it just a little too neat.

You think so?

Yeah, what I mean is, Chip, that, uh, well, I
think older women like a more careless look.

Oh.

Well, see, while I think of it,
here, let me treat you tonight, huh?

Well, I was gonna use my birthday money.

Oh, well, you can use that for something else, here, yeah.

Gosh, thanks.

Now, uh, why don't we go in the bathroom
and, uh, work on that hair?

Damn it, love.

Boy, Dad, I couldn't have gotten through this without you.

Well, Chip, we're right on time, but, uh, she's a girl,
so don't be surprised if you have to wait a few minutes.

Oh, uh, Chip, uh, before Mary Lou comes out,
what theater are you planning on taking her to?

The Rialto.

It's a Doss-Hanafee picture.

I, uh, I thought you saw that last week.

I did.

But it's the only picture I thought
Mary Lou... Mary Lou would like.

Besides, I won't know what I'm looking at tonight anyway.

I'm Chip Douglas.

I'm Chip Douglas.

Hi.

Hi.

Who are you?

Who am I?

I'm Chip Douglas.

Chip Douglas?

Ow!

Chip, where's Mary Lou?

She screamed and ran back in the house.

What did you say to her?

All I said was hi.

She said, who are you?

Who are you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like she expected me to be someone else.

I told her my name and, balooey,
our date's over four stars.

Well, she'll probably be out in a few minutes, Chip.

No.

You didn't see how she looked.

I'll tell you, Chip, as long as I'm here, I think
I'll go in and say hello to Mary Lou's father.

I'm Chip Douglas.

I'm Chip Douglas.

Chip Douglas.

Mr. Douglas, I'm sorry I acted the way I did.

Well, Mary Lou, it must have
been quite a shock for you to go

to the door expecting to find Robbie and to see Chip there.

I bet it was a shock for your boy, too.

Mary Lou yelling at him and running away from him.

Oh, you like that?

Yeah.

I didn't even know Robbie had a brother.

I did think it was kind of strange when I
got three corsages.

Word got around our house that you like flowers.

Well, I'd better go and tell Chip.

Well, uh, Steve, what will you tell him?

Well, I'll just tell him the truth, Frank.

But he'll be so hurt and disappointed.

Well, you were disappointed, too, Mary Lou.

I told just everybody I had a date with Robbie.

I think Chip told a few people he had a date with you.

Mr. Douglas, I don't want Chip to be disappointed.

I mean, what happened wasn't his fault.

No, all he did, Steve, was ask a girl he
likes to go out with him.

Well, that's right, but, uh, well...
Mr. Douglas, let's not tell him.

Well, I have to tell him, Mary Lou.

Well, not if I keep the date.

I mean, if Chip still wants to, after the
way I screamed at him and everything.

Well, I'm sure he'll be willing to overlook that.

This is very nice of you.

Well, Steve, another crisis passed.

Yeah, Frank.

You know, you, uh, you have a good girl there.

Yeah, thanks.

Have fun.

I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.

Mary Lou had a couple of last minute
things she had to do at you.

It's okay.

The feature doesn't start till 8.10.

I hope you can forgive me for being so
silly when you came to the door.

You see, I... You don't have to explain.

I didn't think you were silly at all.

Thank you for the flowers.

The flowers?

Oh, Chip, I forgot.

The flowers that you sent her.

Oh, yeah.

They're lovely, all of them.

I'm glad you like them.

I'm very fond of flowers.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, lots of girls are.

Then, of course, lots of girls aren't.

I figure you're a girl who is.

Well, would be.

I may take botany next year.

Swell.

What movie are we seeing?

It's called Surfing Sweethearts.

Surfing Sweethearts?

Yeah, it's a Doss-Hanafee picture.

It's real good.

I mean, it's supposed to be.

Oh, it is.

I mean, I'm sure it is.

Well, would you rather do something else, like bowl?

Oh, no, this is perfect.

I never miss a Doss-Hanafee picture.

Just perfect.

I sure hope you get to take botany next year.

Well, shall we go?

Okay.

Tired, huh, Chipper?

Yeah, must be awful late.

Well, it's almost 11 O'clock.

Wow.

Uncle Charlie left us out some cookies.

I guess it's been at least... It's been at least 20
minutes since you had that double chocolate nut sundae.

You can eat a few, huh?

I guess so.

I'll get some milk here.

Oh, Mary Lou's a very pretty girl.

Yeah.

Oh, thanks for sending her the flowers, Dad.

Oh, that's right.

I don't know why I forgot to tell you about her.

I guess she enjoyed the movie, huh?

I guess so.

She'd already seen it before, too.

But we both pretend we hadn't.

I'm not sure why.

It's called developing a social conscience.

I read that somewhere.

Oh, boy.

I'm sure glad I asked her for the date.

I might have gone on following her for months.

Never found out what she was really like.

Now you know, hmm?

Yeah, she's real nice, but not my type.

And I'm not hers.

I think she's more interested in somebody,
well, like Robbie.

Somebody like that.

I'm not sure what my type is.

Well, Chip, it's going to be fun finding out.

It's a surprise party for Laura Ruth Chapman,
and there'll be only six boys and six girls.

Mrs. Chapman's taking us to Galaxy Park.

And then we'll come back to Laura Ruth's
house, and there'll be refreshments, lots of food.

And then maybe we'll play games.

Well, I don't know.

We're counting on you.

Hi, Chip.

Hi, Ernie.

I love that sweater on you.

Yours looks great, too.

Oh, thank you, Chip.

Sweet.

Do you know her?

We dated once or twice.

She's practically in high school.

So?

I don't know.